seabie

[seabie]

i have to transition. there is no way. there is just No Way

much like everyone else on this path before me i have no idea of this is even gonna solve any of my issues at all but i don't want to keep wondering. the only way to find out is to try

I'm so disphoric I feel like I'm gonna throw up but I'm supposed to be in a good mood for my friends birthday party I'm gonna be sick how to get out of my own head and not be a party pooper this is HER day

[seabie]

I'm so disphoric I feel like I'm gonna throw up but I'm supposed to be in a good mood for my friends birthday party I'm gonna be sick how to get out of my own head and not be a party pooper this is HER day

[seabie]

do you have trouble showering or bathing as often as you'd like? boy do i have the recommendation for you!

[I.D.: a package of scrubzz brand rinse free bath sponges. end ID.]

these are basically disposable wash cloths loaded with soap. you wet them, they lather up, you wash wherever you want to wash, and then just wipe off with a towel.

[I.D.: a no rinse shampoo cap by the brand clean life. end ID.]

this helps with hair washing! it's a shower cap. you warm it up for a few seconds in the microwave (otherwise it can be unpleasantly chilly), put it on your head, lather, and dry off with a towel.

i haven't had luck with other no rinse shampoo products. this is the only one I've found that really makes your hair feel and look clean.

there's lots of products on the market and I've tried many of them. dry shampoo in my experience just makes your hair look a little less greasy for at most a day, then even worse than you started. other no rinse shampoos didn't work for me either. the body scrub things are also best in class imo. of course ymmv.

[seabie]

"so, what are you doing after work" i have one (1) activity slot per day. todays slot was allocated to 'work', please try again tomorrow

[seabie]

Shoutout to disabled people whose pain management can’t make up for their pain level. Shoutout to disabled people who can’t afford to treat it adequately. Shoutout to disabled people who don’t have much pain management, and not because they don’t have chronic pain

[seabie]

Since you have experience with vaginismus can I ask you for some advice?

I've never been able to complete a pap smear, I've been so tight they've given up each time. My doctors insist that it's fine not to do the test since I'm not sexually active, but I'm still worried

I'm really hesitant to use dilators, the very idea of something going in there is dysphoric as hell and I'd rather just never have to go through that

I guess I'm saying I really don't mind having vaginismus, but I'm worried that it's bad for my health long term. Every single source I look up talks about curing it, not for health reasons but because vaginal sex is obviously always desired for people with vaginas (sarcasm)

I'm always happy to talk about it and give advice if I can. Honestly, I was genuinely really worried about not being able to do pap smears, since I had already not been able to get other related care due to vaginismus. So it was basically my main motivation for working with the dilators. And now that I'm dealing with the possibility of uterine cancer and all the tests that will go along with that, I'm extremely glad I decided to do it.

If you are not sexually active in any way at all, your risk is very low and I've been told before in these cases a pap smear might be recommend just in case every five years. I wouldn't be super worried if you genuinely just can't do it!

I don't believe you have to cure or improve vaginismus if you don't want to, and the way a lot of resources talk about it like there's this obligation for people with vaginas to be available for this specific type of sex is gross, it makes me so angry.

But for me personally, working to improve it is really worth it for many reasons. Reducing the amount of muscle tension in the area can help with the level of abdominal and lower back pain, for example. And it has actually somewhat reduced the dysphoria I have to deal with? I understand better what my current body can do and how to best take care of it.

And obviously I wasn't expecting to deal with the possibility of uterine cancer at all, a lot of health issues just take you completely by surprise, and I'm extremely thankful I don't have to worry about being brand new to dilators now and frantically trying to figure that out so I can get the tests I need. I feel like I've saved myself a huge amount of stress having already done it, you know? And that means a lot when I'm in a situation that's so inherently stressful already.

The vaginismus subreddit is actually pretty decent, they're mostly trans friendly, and I've gotten some good info there.

[seabie]

i think vaginismus as a concept is mostly helpful if you're self diagnosing. if you're like "hmm this thing that i WANT to do is something vaginas usually CAN do but mine doesn't, how come? ah it seems i have treatable condition" <- that's good. you have a goal, you have resources, you deserve medical support. i wish you all the best and i think you're cool. but having this concept applied to me by others makes me feel like people are pointing at me, shouting "you weird freak, you have a disease! you must work on it to make your body receptive to The Penis, like a normal person!" like chill. i don't have to dilate if i don't care about it either way. i can just be like "oh my body doesn't want to do this ok cool then I'm not doing it" and have that be a neutral decision. not liking penetration for any reason or even no reason at all is fine!!!!!!

[seabie]

the study I've looked at seem extremely promising, if i wasn't so happy with my hysterectomy i probably would've tried this next

my endo babes! have you heard of ryeqo/ relugolix (myfembree in north america)? have you tried it/ would you consider trying it?

[seabie]

my endo babes! have you heard of ryeqo/ relugolix (myfembree in north america)? have you tried it/ would you consider trying it?

[seabie]

i wanna be a feminine boy instead i am an average woman everything hurts

[seabie]

Mmmm medication :) I love you medication. Modern medicine makes my life so much better. "Ohh you're so young maybe you'll want to taper off..." no thank you, I will keep taking the pills that resolve my symptoms :) thank you pharmacology I love you

[seabie]

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[seabie]

a nother chronic illness thing nobody talks about is the cable management

[seabie]

this damn "cold" i have that hasn't gotten any better (5weeks) is triggering the hell out of me. on the surface I'm fine, just a snotty nose and a cough, but the fact that it lingers triggers this feeling of helplessness from back when i had untreated endometriosis. I'm not in pain! I'm not in danger! and yet there is this feeling of doom. of "this is your life now you will suffer forever" my rational brain knows this isn't true. i know it's not that serious, just a cold that's sticking around longer than I'd like, that it will eventually resolve itself and that even before it gets any better it's not stopping me from living my life. but one doctor tells me "well there's nothing i can do, go home, try drinking tea" and i spiral

[seabie]

Doctors get all "Oh, where'd you hear about that? Dr. Google?" then you ask them about something you read in a peer reviewed journal they turn their monitor away from you to use Doctor Google.

[seabie]

"do it alone" "do it scared" yes and sometimes you gotta do it stanky

[seabie]

I'm not getting better :(