seawanter

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holy fuckkk modded ds what a glorious machine

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[seawanter]

i hate this

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wdym i cant starve away the ugly. wdym im underweight and still absolutely hideous

[seawanter]

hhhey guyhsssss whats up

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im normal im so so normal

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ohhhgh mannnnn i want a cigarette

[seawanter]

im so sick of waking up in pain

[seawanter]

godddddd I miss my american spirit blacks

[seawanter]

i hate hangover boredom.. my brain is mush what am i supposed to do with myself rn.....

[seawanter]

i can have the craziesttttt night and still my eyeliner will remain completely untouched. im a fucking god bro i swear

[seawanter]

Hobbies that able bodied people recommend as very accessible but actually aren’t; (if you find these exhausting it’s ok - many do and you aren’t weaker or less than or unworthy or being a “buzz kill” or ��over dramatic” bcs you need more rest than these hobbies provide💓)

Reading - eye strain, hand pain - it’s expensive in general and more expensive if you need physical aids to help you do it.

Knitting or crochet - this one feels more obvious - sure your not going for a hike but this is a lot of movement for people who either have fatigue, foggy brains or inflammation😗

Shows or movies - more so but then there are the flashing lights, bright color, many sounds and if you’re like me the brain fog can make you feel pretty stupid when trying to keep up with the plot.

Collectibles - expensive! And often requires a lot of travelling to get limited editions or to explore second hand shops to chance upon one of those items.

Video games - I’m gonna cut to the chase and just say anything with bright colors and loud sounds and lots of hand stuff is pretty much the last thing many disabled people want to do on a flare day. Quick response times too can really suck when the fog is just consuming every single coordinated thought!

Cooking or baking - it’s alot of standing if you don’t have an accessible kitchen. And having a kitchen like that can be expensive or at least very time consuming as you travel from second hand shop to second hand shop to find the needed equipment.

Yoga - fuck off. It’s so obvious why this is an issue just like strength training and cardio.

This is not at all to say that disabled people can’t do or can’t enjoy these things. It’s more to say that what is easy for an abled person isn’t necessarily easy for a disabled person. And that doing these tasks exert excess energy. Even our hobbies tire us at time and require a lot of effort to have.

I love reading and knitting and writing. And I do it when I can but I’m aware my hands aren’t as nimble and happy with me so I can’t do it as much as I want. I work out too but to my limits and I’m aware that if I fuck up and do too much I will have consequences (if I can even do that thing).

My point really starts and ends with; a disabled person remains disabled even when doing cosier or nicer activities. And those tasks cost spoons just like other ones. And those tasks can be harmful when a person is not in a position to enjoy them - which can be more often for a disabled person. So it’s important to have a level of empathy for the kind of rest people need and their limitations (which may not be in places you expect).

[seawanter]

should I stay off adderall and get nothing done and be absolutely miserable but still feel at least a little bit like myself or should I go back on adderall and go into psychosis again. while still being absolutely miserable 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 decisions decisions

[seawanter]

if youre able bodied fuck you

[seawanter]

save me merzbow

[seawanter]

God I'm so stupid

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i wonder if he still likes me