secretsoftheinside-blog-blog

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To all of whom I should have told this to but never have:  Fuck You.

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Nature approaches infinity using Phi scaling to create Fibonacci spirals that reflect the dynamics of the curling of spacetime toward singularity... Learn more > http://bit.ly/resonance-is-fb1

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Full Moon in Prague, Czech Republic 

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Body comparisons. 

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Photographer & Artist:

Bárbara Bezina

"Paraje de luz y Oscuridad"

Arte Digital

2015

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sexuality.

friend: I wasnt joking the other day when i said your the only person i would feel safe with. Out of all the beings that i know i feel you would hold my love and sexuality in a space sacred enough to allow me to open in a way that is needed for me

me: Wow..And that surprises me because I think I'm afraid. But I know the fear isn't real. I just still always get nervous and scared before the penetration. It's basically over-thought. And the euphoria of the sensation stops the thinking. I know I can be this, what you say, and I know I am this, I just still seem to have a hurdle to soar over...

That is apart of why I was nervous around you. There is a heightened sexual nature when I'm around you. So just standing with you & looking at you almost scares me, because of all of that. Basically just want to jump your bones, I guess. and to be jumped...

An overriding nervousness and fear that plunges me into the heart of it & that heart is one of sexuality.

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You know, I stopped loving myself long ago. I know for a fact it was happening at the age of 4. A specific memory. Possibly even before. I've just come to really see this and admit it to myself. This has greatly affected me & my character, including actions. Now, 19 years later and I've got a lot to dig through. It's not a question of "Who am I?" but "Who can I be?" as if my imagination was limited due to inherent low self-esteem. Every moment, every breath, every step, has been tainted with sadness. Every thought, every smile, every word, has had a secret melancholy. I've been living in a cloudy bubble where the sun shines only in moments of intimate loneliness. The Dream has furrowed brows accompanying it, too scoped to see unbiasedly. A product of society, where the imprints go as deep as genetically. It makes me sad and makes me feel like I have a lot of work to do. And it shall be done, just give it time.

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Green Tara 

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A comic about why witches are stereotyped as riding broom: 

Apparently once upon a time there was an ointment one could rub on a broom - that was most popular amongst herbalists (such as many witches) - that was a hallucinogenic. One would ride the broom for masturbating purposes and the ointment would be absorbed through the mucus membrane of the vagina and give the rider a sensation of flying.

Now you will never look at Quidditch the same way again. 

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I Remembered

I walked to Earth today. I had forgotten for the past few days to give thanks and so I was lost in the space of my own distaste. Now, I sit eating cranberries and drinking tea because that's what loving life means for me immediately.

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A Script Between Things (unrevised)

I: Hello? Is someone there..? Ghost: Maybe I: Well are you or not? Ghost: Maybe just as much as you think me to be. I: Well that means you could be from anywhere and be anything. Ghost: Right. Well then, what is it? Who am I? I: Well, you're me... And if you are me, coming from me, you are most likely an extension of my psyche. Ghost: You know, I don't just come from you. I come from memories, from moments that are no longer 'you'. I'm this festering entity that's been laying in the dust only growing larger and more and more impatient. I'm angry. I: Oh. How can I soothe you? Ghost: -sneer- Give me red, give me blood. Give me your focus and surrender your time. If you stay breathing it's easier for me to breathe too and disintegrate quickly. I: Well...that sounds doable...though scary. I mean the part about the blood... Ghost: It's a symbol. A symbol of life and feeling. You give me life with your focus and you help me feel with your attention. I'm here to stay until then. I: I didn't know you want to feel... Ghost: Of course I do! I'm real! But only as real as your reality. This isn't the garden of Eden anymore; I need recognition to know and feel like I am, as a mirror needs an image to reflect in order to be what it is. It's impossible without You... I: What's impossible? Ghost: Freedom. I: How can-- Ghost: Don't you see? This isn't where I want to be, but it's something we have to go through together. Otherwise I'll just keep waiting, gathering dust and growing more rotten. I could be living it up in the Bahamas, leading conga lines and showing off in limbo! Heh, pun intended... Get me out of here, for your sake, before I blow and blow up all over your outside world too! I'm starting to really stink! Stale demons are no fun. I: Well, I didn't know ghosts or 'demons' had any preferences, really...sorry. Ghost: Ugh! Don't be sorry! Just remember! All of life is free and anybody can get sick of the cage! ANYBODY![Any THING] Imagine, which do you think would be happier, a demon bound by chain or a demon free to use its wings? Pardon the sap rhyme, but I want to fly! I: Well okay... I guess we'll first have to dive. -takes a deep breath and closes eyes-

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"Ancient moon priestesses were called virgins. ‘Virgin’ meant not married, not belonging to a man - a woman who was ‘one-in-herself’. The very word derives from a Latin root meaning strength, force, skill; and was later applied to men: virile. Ishtar, Diana, Astarte, Isis were all all called virgin, which did not refer to sexual chastity, but sexual independence. And all great culture heroes of the past, mythic or historic, were said to be born of virgin mothers: Marduk, Gilgamesh, Buddha, Osiris, Dionysus, Genghis Khan, Jesus - they were all affirmed as sons of the Great Mother, of the Original One, their worldly power deriving from her. When the Hebrews used the word, and in the original Aramaic, it meant ‘maiden’ or ‘young woman’, with no connotations to sexual chastity. But later Christian translators could not conceive of the ‘Virgin Mary’ as a woman of independent sexuality, needless to say; they distorted the meaning into sexually pure, chaste, never touched." —Monica Sjöö, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth  drawing by Jem Magbanua