seethew3stwithm3 - Tumblr blog

seethew3stwithm3 · 4 months ago

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ho is you shakespeare?

this was so insanely beautifully written, i found myself rereading every paragraph because it was all so eloquent. your prose is nuts (in a really good way!) so if you're ever considering publishing a book irl, let me know, i'll be first in line at the bookstore!!

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | 𝐣𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

pairing joel miller x female reader (18+) summary it wasn’t uncommon for you to seek each other’s presence after the sun was tucked away—for company, for comfort. but there’s something more consuming about tonight [post-outbreak, fluff, soft smut, 3.3k] a/n they're in love.

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There always had been something about the night. Something singular about its ability to take the most tightly wound days and coax them undone. Like the silken ribbon of a worn bow that had grown weary of holding its shape.

For quite some time now, your nights have belonged to each other. After years of going to bed alone, even Joel realized how good it felt to end the day next to someone who reminded him just how sweet life could be.

Everyone's deserving of good company—you’d spoken those words to him in the face of his independence. Thankfully, with time, they’d worked their way into his spirit. Like vines, like air itself. He no longer feels wrong for craving care as tender as yours, even though his hands have made ghosts out of many men.

Earlier tonight, it was you who came to him.

Three muffled knocks had roused him from the beginning of a light sleep. Given he didn’t have to entertain Ellie tonight, he figured he’d turn in a little earlier than usual. He’d answered the door with fluffy hair and squinted eyes. There was an undeniable softness about his rumpled pajamas and the sight of his bare feet against the hardwood. Few words were needed between you as he helped you out of your coat and led you upstairs to his bedroom.

It’s quiet where you lay now, tucked beneath sheets that smell faintly of earthen pine. You’ve draped one arm over Joel’s waist while your nose remains tucked between his shoulder blades like it belongs there.

During the day, while out in the commune, you remained cordial and unassuming around each other. You weren’t exactly hiding from the attention of others but were protecting the bond forming between you.

In due time, you’d allow the familiarity and intimacy of the night to bleed over into the day, but for now, this nighttime ritual is sacred in its newness. It had been a couple of months since your patrol partner didn’t show, and Joel stepped up to take his place.

As it turns out, spending six hours with the right person in the cold can change your life.

Joel holds his breath on an inhale when he feels your fingers begin to toy with the hem of his shirt. They slip beneath it a moment later, almost shy as they trail along his waistline and brush through the thin hair beneath his navel. Joel’s hips tilt just so.

He swallows around a low sound as your hand ventures up his chest with featherlight curiosity. Exploring, cataloging. Past his ribs and to his chest to graze the pads of your fingers over his nipples, making something stir low in his gut.

Your hand then drifts back down to splay over the small pudge of his stomach as if to center him again.

“You’re so warm,” you murmur.

If he were braver, he’d say it was by virtue of your touch alone. Your hands had wandered over each other's bodies, but never quite like this. This time, your touch doesn’t seek to soothe or ground but to evoke.

Joel rests his hand over yours with a hum. It covers yours whole.

“Your hands are so big.” Your voice dips into a purr. “And strong. Capable.”

Joel chuckles a low, flustered sound. He’s not sure what to do with these compliments or if that’s what they’re meant to be.

“You didn’t have to do that,” you then say. “Fix my mailbox.”

Of everything you could’ve mentioned, he wasn’t expecting that. It was an easy task he’d knocked out earlier this afternoon. It took him no more than fifteen minutes.

“Nothing to it,” he assures in a low drawl.

Except, there was something to it. The fix meant Joel had been listening when you mentioned it broke. This wasn’t the first time he’d done something for you without asking for permission. Joel Miller is a man of action. If he sees a problem or a need, he doesn't hesitate. That strong sense of initiative had yet to steer him wrong.

It’s lovely to be seen and heard by someone like him, especially in a commune where it wasn’t hard to slip through the cracks at times.

A half-restrained shiver rolls down Joel’s spine when you press a kiss to the nape of his neck. The hair curled there tickles the tip of your nose.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“Welcome—” His voice catches when you pepper more kisses to his nape. His hand stills yours when he feels your attempt to trail your touch downward from his stomach.

“Sweetheart,” Joel breathes, a little wary.

“Yes?” you lilt.

The sheets rustle as Joel turns over to face you. He can only make out a few of your features in the glow of the moonlight slipping into the room. The rest, his mind fills in. You cup his stubbled cheek with a gentle hand.

“Makin’ me hot.” His voice is soft and honest, a little frayed around the edges. A pleasant buzz has settled beneath his skin.

Maybe you wanted him to burn.

You scoot that much closer to press your lips to his. When the initial surprise dissipates, they move, slow and easy, against your own. Almost tired if you didn’t know any better. But even in the shroud of the night, he’s wide awake. For this. For you.

A low sound rises in his throat when you take his lower lip between your teeth and gently tug until you’ve fully pulled away.

Joel hadn’t realized his hand had drifted to settle on your waist, but suddenly, it’s not enough. He needs to feel you entirely. A need rooted so deep he aches with it. There’s no more denying the swell in his pants, where the brunt of his desire has made itself known.

Restraint looks good on Joel, but there always has been an air of allure around the notion of him surrendering. Of what it looked like for him to partake and be partaken of. It’d been some years since he’d allowed himself to open up in this way, and anyone he shared himself with in the past was long gone. You wanted to demystify it all and come to know that side of him for yourself.

This time, when your hand begins to drift lower, he doesn’t stop you. Not when your fingers slip beneath both his waistbands. Or as you wrap them around the base of his warm, rigid length. A pleasured shudder courses through him as you pull upwards in a reverent tug. At the top, your thumb encircles the velveteen head to spread the small, wet bead of eagerness.

Joel starts to move upright but trembles back into place when your loose grasp descends, mapping back down each snaking vein before gently massaging the rounded fullness that hangs beneath.

“Love the feel of you already,” you murmur. Joel’s face warms as his arousal kicks up under your ministrations.

In an unexpected display of agility, he repositions to hover above you, pushes down his pants and boxers, and braces himself as he kicks them away. His movements are so seamless that your touch isn’t disrupted for long.

You spit into your hand as best you can and reach out for him in the dark, knowing exactly where to find him as he bobs towards his stomach.

Joel’s more interested in gripping your pants, and you place your feet flat on the mattress to lift your hips for him to shuck them off. The cool air of the room registers against the slickness between your legs as you clench. Joel lowers a finger to trace along your entrance, spreading the moisture upwards as he circles your budded nerves.

He continues paying careful attention to the spot, even as your hand distractedly falls from him to curl into the sheets. Your exhale is shaky when he stops.

“Just a second,” Joel rasps.

He braces himself further up your body, one large palm splayed near your head. As the mattress shifts, you realize he’s reaching toward the nightstand. You move your hand to play between your legs to ease the throbbing ache lazily.

A faint click sounds, and a flame sparks to life, balanced on the crooked wick of a candle. The light casts a dim, golden radius in the room.

“Can’t miss this,” he explains as he returns to his original position.

“Need to see you.” In a testament to his words, his arousal kicks up on its own accord yet again.

You selfishly take him in. His intense gaze. Broad shoulders. Thick thighs. The straining, desirous region of him that your hands had come to know before your eyes ever did. A thatch of unruly dark curls rests at the base of him.

Joel pulls his shirt over his head to reveal his last covered portion. His arms are toned and firm. A thin dusting of hair spans over his impressive chest. New and old scars pepper the expanse of his torso. The faint indents of a v-line remain even with the pudge of his stomach from age and finally eating good meals again.

Now it’s your turn. Joel helps you out of your shirt and tosses it aside with renewed urgency. As you finally lay bare, his dark eyes admire your chest as if this first chance is the last chance he’ll get. He extends a careful hand to cup one of your breasts, gaze flicking to your face to watch the way your brows furrow in approval.

“Christ,” he grouses in an air of disbelief.

You suck in a quick breath when he leans down to kiss along the side of your neck. Goosebumps arise in the wake of his lips as he continues downward like it’s a path he’s traveled before. Over your collarbones, between the valley of your breasts, straying to gently peck a pebbled nipple before returning to the centerline of your torso.

In the process, he shifts himself further down the mattress, your legs propped like two mountains along either side of him.

His kisses turn into toothless nips when he reaches the lower portion of your stomach. That sensation, paired with the scratch of his beard, makes your abdomen twitch and flex. It isn’t until he makes it beneath your belly button and strays toward your hip bones that your chest finally shakes with a laugh as you squirm.

Joel stills you with a steady hand and peeks up at you with a self-satisfied smile playing on his lips. He’s cataloging every shift and sweet sound.

As his shoulders force your thighs to splay a little wider, you bite your lip both out of anticipation and to keep your lingering smile at bay. In seconds, he’s made a live wire out of you.

Every other breath you take catches. You find yourself swallowing more than you had all night. But suddenly, there’s no urgency about him at all. You’ve slipped into an unspoken purgatory where your release looms on hold.

He’s drawing things out, taking his time, ignoring the throb of his own need as he tries to pick you apart.

Joel bypasses where you’re spread open and pulsing and delivers a kiss to the inside of your thigh, mere inches from where you crave him. You shift, hoping he’ll reroute, but he pretends not to notice.

You try again, attempting to twist and present your core as an alternative to the fluff of your thighs.

An exasperated huff escapes you. “Just…”

You let your sentence trail off as you attempt to give him your best pleading look. It almost works. They’re the eyes he’d steal the moon for, but he wants to relish this moment a little longer. He wants to hold out on you while you’re both safe to be these needy versions of yourselves.

“Just what, sweetheart?” he coaxes.

Your mouth opens a couple of times. “Do something. Touch me,” you murmur, cheeks warm.

“I am touchin’ you.” He smooths a calloused palm along your leg to prove it.

“Like you were before,” you specify, voice smaller now.

Your stomach flips when he starts to move back towards your hips, and flustered, premature giggles bubble up your throat because he’s got you so on edge, and you just know he’s about to do those maddening little kisses again.

“Not that,” you whine. “C’mon Joel, I need you.” The earnestness of those words sends a jolt toward the apex of his thighs.

You’ve got him now, so you press further. “Please? Wanna feel you.” You make your voice softer. “Been wanting to feel you all night.”

Joel caves and runs a heavy finger through your folds, then gently spreads you open to press a kiss to that small, swollen part of you. His lips are so delicate you’d think he was kissing a rose bud. A helpless mewl escapes as he replaces his lips with the firm press of his index finger and begins drawing tight circles.

The touch stirs faint, premature flutters that make you tilt your hips into his hand. “I gotcha,” he assures.

He did have you, not just in this way, but in every sense of the word. He’d proven that from the day he met you, ready to be the supply to your demand when it came to all manners of your needs. Even the ones you didn’t realize you had. The thought alone makes pleasure knot in your stomach all the more. You clench around nothing but the idea of taking him alone.

“Joel,” you breathe.

His eyes lift from your core to your gaze. Your eyes sparkle with candlelit desperation. Still taking his time, he runs his finger back down and just barely breaches your entrance with a curious probe. He’s wet with your slick and knows he’d slip right in.

“Need you,” you murmur again. It’s different this time.

Joel withdraws his touch and crawls back up your body, muscles shadowing as they shift. You open your legs wider so he can slot himself between you, bracing a forearm near your head. He’s close enough that your chests brush. That your breaths mingle.

He takes himself in his hand and guides the tip to the warmth of your center. The gentle touch soon turns into a glide that bumps your clit with every upward pass. You place your hands on his shoulders because your fingers are shaking, and you don’t know what else to do.

Like a locksmith with a key, he notches at your entrance with delicate intentionality. Both of you shudder, and he briefly touches his forehead to yours. The world stills as he slowly begins to push inside of you. You welcome each new inch with the same steady, heated snugness. Not once does your body flinch or hesitate. You welcome him in even through the dullest ache until he’s burrowed.

Your joint groans just barely register on the outskirts of your consciousness as the blinding haze of pleasure becomes one with reality.

Joel grants you an quiet moment of acclimation before he pulls out a little and eases himself back in. A hum vibrates through your chest. This time, he pulls back a little further, then finds his way back inside the encompassing warmth of you.

“You’re the warm one,” he counters your earlier statement. “Taking me so well,” he praises.

He withdraws a little more each time until his thrusts become fuller, and he finds an easy rhythm. You encourage his movements with the dig of your heels at the back of his thighs.

He tucks his head down to place open-mouthed kisses along your neck. Your fingernails dig into his shoulders and graze down his back.

“You feel so good,” you admit in a frantic sigh. “So so good.”

Joel nearly comes from hearing that alone.

There is no reprieve from the pleasure, no moment that allows you two to fully gather your bearings or muster up a semblance of composure. Every sound that slips past your lips is helpless, a little gone. They join the tiny squeaks of the mattress and the sticky, rhythmic contact of skin meeting dewy skin.

“Faster,” you breathe. Joel listens in a heartbeat, continuing to meet that dense, tender place within you that has your toes curling. “Oh god—” you choke out, a mix between a moan and a whimper.

Before you can find your breath again, Joel cups your breasts, switching from one to the other and running his thumb along your nipples. The sound that escapes you almost sounds pained, but your face scrunches in the prettiest, rawest way. Joel’s hips drive forward in an involuntary thrust of force.

One of his hands slips between your bodies to rub over that still-pulsing part of you. A dreamy sound falls past your lips as you writhe and arch. The tightness builds. The sea swells. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping to keep it all at bay and prolong the moment.

“Open your eyes, angel,” Joel encourages in a rasp.

You don’t listen and silently pray that he gives up.

“Lemme see those pretty eyes,” he tries again.

You whimper as his finger rubs faster circles, his thrusts remaining intense.

Joel’s voice takes on a waver, cracking around the edges with something fragile and desperate. “C’mon, baby, please?”

You realize then that he needs it.

When your eyes flutter open, a few rogue tears run down the apples of your cheeks towards your ears. Joel catches them. It’s too much. The newness of it all, the warm weight of his body moving above yours, making you his. There’s a glisten on his forehead, in the divot of his sternum. The way his muscles flex with his thrusts is living art. You’ve never met a more gorgeous man or had the pleasure of knowing and becoming one with someone who made you feel this whole.

“There she is,” Joel hums.

In an instant, your body jolts against the mattress as you come undone beneath his frame. Your walls flutter around him in strong pulses of pleasure that radiate outward and leave you floating. If it were light instead, you’d be a shining star illuminating the room.

Joel’s seen fewer sights that have struck him at his core.

It takes every ounce of decency and strength within him to override the recklessness of pleasure, and pull out of you in a swift drag. Away from your swollen, pulsing warmth. Away from one of the few places he could confidently say he belonged in this fallen world.

Through dazed eyes, you watch as Joel wraps a hand around himself and begins stroking. He’s slick with you, and the veins in his forearms pop.

He spills onto your stomach in seconds with an earnest, shuddered groan. Each pulse of his release grows duller, resulting in shorter spurts until there’s nothing more than a pearly dribble running down the sides of him.

You reach out with a weak hand to take over and coax him through the last few waves. Joel twitches in your grasp but lets you continue. Another shudder courses through him as he grows sensitive and begins to soften.

“That’s all of me, baby,” he says, voice low and soft just for you.

You hum in a daze as you withdraw your touch. The last thing you remember is the kiss Joel presses to your forehead, the dip of the mattress as he gets out of bed, the gentleness of his hands, and the warm towel as he cleanses you.

There’s something special about the following morning. Something soft, aglow, and singular as pale sun rays slip into Joel’s room. They coat the cozy space like a seal. It’s as if the events of last night had carried over and been made manifest into something warm, and lovely, and beautiful.

Thank you so much for reading! All likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated. I promise I see them all!

JOEL MASTERLIST

ALL MASTERLISTS

#clarke recs #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader smut #joel x reader #joel x female reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x y/n #the last of us #the last of us hbo

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seethew3stwithm3 · 5 months ago

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Joel is so yes ma’am in the streets and shut up ‘n take what I give you in the sheets

#life changing textpost to see on my dash at 9am #amen #joel miller #the last of us

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seethew3stwithm3 · 5 months ago

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Good LAWD-

Did I read this in a public place? Yes. Did I monitor my facial expressions? Not at all. My jaw was on the floor, my gaze so intensely fixated on my phone that I thought it was going to explode.

Boy oh boy, I haven't been reading much fanfiction recently because I've been busy, but I finally set aside some time to read today and I am SO GLAD I did.

This fic was so fucking delicious, I licked the plate clean WOW

Joel and his filthy mouth really just gets me through life. Need him carnally, biblically, etc etc.

Wants and Needs

Look at the mess you’re in now, sweetheart, cryin’ on a cock that’s too fuckin’ big for you. What am I gonna do with ya?”

WARNINGS - Mean!joel, dom!joel, cock hungry!reader, impish!reader, one shot, size kink, Joel miller monster cock, ‘We shouldn’t be doing this’ vibes, cause Joel’s all guilt ridden and sexually frustrated, lots of dirty talk, guided masturbation (joel talks you through fucking yourself), mid-fuck pep talk from a man old enough to be your father, girthy legal but unspecified age gap, fingering, pain kink, brief mention of tummy bulge, dacryphilia, dubcon, unprotected PIV, cream pie, cum eating, aftercare in the form of oral sex (f!receiving) wedgie kink if you squint, horny brain took over when I wrote this, dingy motel sex.

FIC HELP - @tofics!!! Thank you for the thorough beta, sweetheart!!! you did so fucking much to help me with this fic and i'm really fucking grateful, more than words could say!! @beefrobeefcal @cum-a-calla and @/endlessthxxghts (rip i miss your presence on this shitshow of a website every day) thank you sweet babes for all of the encouragement and support!! I love you all!!

A/N - Long time no see! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a fic, even while since I’ve written for Joel. Gosh. I hope you’re all surviving the winter as best you can <3 it’s been a rough one, huh? Enjoy and have a safe rest of your week :)

The bed frame groans for the seventh time in a span of five minutes. Through his nose, Joel sighs in irritation at that sharp, grating creak, the sound of the bed hitting against the wood paneled walls to match. You’ve been at this for the last hour and a half - wriggling, flipping back and forth in the bed, tugging that old, scratchy, floral comforter off of Joel’s body to swaddle around yours, only to throw it off again seconds later. You’ve flipped your pillow more times than he can count, adjusting where you lay your head in search of that coveted cold spot.

It’s hard to sleep when you keep touching him. Mindlessly, you press up against Joel, and inch away again. His patience for this routine of yours wore thin long ago, sanded down by too many nights of this same ordeal.

Joel feels the mattress dip and shift a little, the subtle warning of you gearing up to toss your body again, but he’s had enough. He grabs you by the wrist before you can do so, holding you tight enough so that you feel the rough calluses of his palm on your skin. “Enough. Quit fuckin’ squirmin’,” he rasps, his voice tired but edged with warning. “I told you to go to sleep an hour ago.”

“I can’t,” you snap.

“Bullshit. Y’ain’t even tryin’.”

Joel’s heard this from you before. You’ve always been more restless, whereas Joel’s a heavier sleeper by nature, aided by the alcohol and the pills that lull him off into dreamless unconsciousness. But you’ll keep him up anyway, usually complaining that you’re too hot. Or too cold. Or you’re thirsty, and you need some of his water. No, you don’t have any. Yes, you know you’re a pain in his ass.

Joel will get you settled, only for you to start all over again. In the subsequent mornings, you’ll be crabby and snapping at him, and he’ll bite back just as hard, pissed off hours of his sleep were lost to you.

“So what’s your excuse this time?”

“It’s nothing,” you mumble, adjusting in bed again. You kick your feet, toeing at the tangled fabric of your pants bunched up around your legs. Joel squeezes your arm in warning, nails pressing into your skin a little. “Joel - stop. Just let me—”

Joel cuts you off, “Yeah, I know. Sit up.”

Obeying him, you sigh and sit up straight, playing with a loose thread in the comforter as Joel leans over your side of the bed, his body radiating warmth and his own scent of something you couldn’t name, something distinctly Joel - perhaps some sort of heavy soap or maybe whiskey. It radiates thick in the space between you and him. He fluffs your pillows a little, then places them back down. “Lay down,” he tells you, and you fall back onto the soft, warm mattress. “S’that comfortable?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

Joel nods quietly, then reaches for the comforter next. He shakes it a little to smooth out the bunches in the material, then lays the flannel sheet over your torso, following with the comforter itself.

“And you have to tuck the blanket in—”

“By your shoulders, I know,” Joel says, tucking the blanket under your chin and your shoulders. “Everything, huh?”

Joel settles himself next, situating his own pillows before lying on his stomach. “Now get some sleep. Do that slow breathin’ I told you ‘bout, remember?”

“I remember.”

“Good girl. G’night, then.”

“Night, Joel.”

Joel closes his eyes and nestles into the mattress, drifting off to something halfway between asleep and awake, but closer to the side of unconsciousness. You close your eyes too, counting your breaths. In for four seconds, just like Joel told you. Hold, out for four seconds.

Maybe it’d work if you weren’t trying to force your body into it. If you weren’t thinking about how very awake you are, when you should’ve been asleep hours ago. If you weren’t thinking about Joel.

He’s been on your mind lately, more than usual. You spent so much time alone with him, learning all the neat things about him. He was such a brute at first, and speaking honestly, he still is. But there’s a gentler side of Joel. Softer. Tender, in his own way.

You really, really fucking like Joel. You’ve never liked anyone the way you like him. He makes you feel all sorts of sensations. Anger, annoyance, joy. He makes your heart pound and makes you breathe funny sometimes, but not always in a bad way. You spend a lot of time just looking at him, tucking away the parts of him you love deep inside your brain, saving it for moments alone. His body is softer with his age, but his arms stay strong, shoulders so vastly broad. And his face, the wrinkles in his skin, those neat scars. That look he gets in his eyes when he’s pissed at you, and his lips and his frown. You watch the way he eats sometimes, fixated on the way his lips move, wondering how they’d move against another’s. Maybe your own. His hands, as he traces maps, books, whatever. Veins and tendons twitching. His palms are so fucking big, so masculine.

Joel keeps his distance, always decent. It’s not lost on you. You know he knows how you stare at him, contemplating whatever it is you think about in that head of yours. He doesn’t want to know. Can’t know.

His breathing is evening out now. His lips are parted, and you feel his warm breath on your cheek, tickling your earlobe. He looks so handsome bathed in that milky, bluish moonlight that pours in through the window over his face.

There’s an ache throbbing between your thighs, the same thing that’s been keeping you up recently. Arousal. Joel seems to worsen the pain, just by existing, somehow. Even just thinking of him makes you throb a little harder.

Squeezing your thighs together alleviates that ache momentarily, so that’s what you do. You cross one leg over the other and squeeze tight, but it’s not enough. Of course it’s not. You know what you need, something more sustainable than this. Something real, something raw. Something…Joel.

You give your underwear a gentle tug while rocking your hips, just needing that extra bit of pressure. Gripping tight the waistband of your panties while wiggling your hips, shaking the creaky bed a little in the process, the motion rouses Joel from his sleep. He opens one eye to watch you wriggle and jerk, noting that look of concentration painted across your features.

“What’re you doin’?”

“Joel!” Your whole body jolts and you straighten your legs quickly, flattening your hands at your side. “Nothing.”

He sighs, “If you’re gonna lie to me, sweetheart, y’need to be better at it. Now what is the matter with you?”

You have to be sharp here. You could tell the truth and have Joel inevitably scold you, call you a fucking pervert and that you should be ashamed of yourself or…

…you could bend the truth some, not much. Just a little fib. You spin the story quickly in your head. Something something…you can’t come on your own - lie, and you just need Joel to do it for you - another lie. Far be it from him to leave a girl in distress, right? He’s got to be the hero, always. Has to save the day while bitching that you’d be dead without him. Because that’s Joel Miller, always carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and always by his own doing. How your heart bleeds for him as you proverbially rub your pointer finger and your thumb together, the world’s tiniest violin playing just for him.

“It’s - fuck,” you groan, shifting in bed as you play up the lie. “It’s nothing. Just - something kind of hurts, that’s all.”

“What hurts? Let me see.” Joel sits up quickly, reaching for the light. “Show me,” he says.

“No, Joel. You can’t - it’s like, I don’t know. It’s…embarrassing, I think.”

“I don’t care,” he grumbles. “Y’gotta tell me. So spit it out, kid.”

You exhale softly, closing your eyes. Joel’s lying on his side, sitting up a little as he carefully searches your face. You can’t look at him right now because fuck, you’re a bad liar. You turn away so you don’t break and smile or something. “I’m like, throbbing,” you murmur, “And wet, uh…down there, I guess. I don’t know–”

Joel holds up a hand, “Alright, enough. Jus’ - go deal with it. I’ll give ya some privacy,” he says, sitting fully upright and taking off the covers.

“Deal with it how?” you ask, feigning ignorance. You’ll take this as far as it needs to go, or until you’re caught red-handed.

“You know, like…” Joel waits for you to get the picture, but you just stare at him blankly.

“Won’t it just go away?” God, you are so full of shit, you almost make yourself sick.

Joel scoffs quietly, and you have to bite down on your smile. You’re playing him like a fucking fiddle. “It don’t work like that, sweetheart,” he says. “You have to handle it on your own.”

“Can you do it?”

“Fuck, no,” he answers quickly. But Joel looks down at you, contemplating. God, you’re fucking...this is the reason you keep him up so late? Part of him wants to leave you here, just like this, to figure it out and deal with it on your own. But Joel’s not confident that’ll happen, since you’ve gone this long without it, apparently. Feels like a lie.

“Or can you help me?”

“Help you how?”

“Just…make sure I’m doing it right. Like, how you’d do it to your lover or something.”

“You are fuckin’ ridiculous,” Joel sighs under his breath. “How I’d do it to my lover, huh?”

“Right.”

Joel thinks for a moment, then speaks, against his better judgement. “Alright.” He takes a deep breath in and out, taking in you on the bed, scanning the gorgeous outline of your body. “I’d spread her legs,” he says, watching the comforter move as you part your thighs. “Wider than that,” he adds.

“Like this?”

“Jus’ like that, s’good,” Joel nods. “And I’d take my hand,” he says, reaching for your wrist, “Put it right here, between her thighs,” laying your palm over your mound. “Under her pants.”

“Fuck, yeah,” you murmur, sliding your hand beneath your pants and panties. You press down a little, groaning softly at the pressure. Fuck, it feels good. Even better with Joel’s presence. “Feels good,” you sigh, pressing your fingers down harder against the sensitive bud. You can feel it throbbing beneath your fingertips.

“I’d rub her in circles.”

“Hard or soft?” you ask. “Fast or slow?”

“Whatever she wants,” Joel answers.

You spread your legs a little wider, your knee nudging against Joel’s tummy, and it takes everything he has not to touch you. It wouldn’t be right, he believes. This act alone is pushing the bounds of his morals.

“Like this, Joel?”

Joel watches the comforter move above your hand as you trace steady circles into your clit, and stifles a groan. As his cock thickens and twitches in his pants, he inches away from you so you don’t feel his arousal. “Yeah, darlin’. Like that.”

“And then what?”

“I’d keep goin’ til…well, you’ll figure that out.”

He takes a moment to watch, admire the show. Brows pinched together, a little bit of sweat sparkling on your temples. Joel can feel the heat radiating from your body as you work yourself, chest rising and falling, hips and legs twitching. “M’gonna leave you to it, then,” he mumbles finally, getting up to leave.

“No,” you gasp, reaching for his arm with the hand you used to fuck yourself. Joel feels your arousal on his skin, and notices how wide your pupils are. “Stay.” He does consider it for a moment. His fucking balls ache, desperate to find his own release too.

“It’s - it’s not enough, Joel.”

Clarity hits him then, and he shoots you a knowing glare. You’re such a bad fucking liar, laying it on way thicker than you need to be. “It’s plenty,” Joel snaps, “I’m leavin’. Hurry up an’ sort yourself out.”

“Don’t go,” you beg. “Can you try it?”

“What? No.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Joel says. “It’s not a good idea. C’mon, honey, I know you’re smarter than this.”

“But I can’t do it on my own,” you argue back. “I think - fuck - I think I need you to fuck me. I need to come on your cock.”

“Jesus Christ, sweetheart, you can’t say shit like that. M’old enough to be your fuckin’ daddy.” Joel rolls his eyes. This absolutely tracks for you, averse to doing any hard work at all. He pauses, then speaks, “You don’t need me to take care of this for you. Y’just want it. I know you, kid. You don’t like doin’ any hard work yourself. Am I right?”

“No,” you insist, “I really think I need it. Need you.”

You look at Joel, silently begging him to give you what you’re asking for. Joel’s eyes dart left and right as he searches your face, breath hitched in his throat. God, the way you look at him. Your eyes are all wide and innocent and pleading, he knows you’re giving him that look on purpose. “Don’t look at me like that, you fuckin’...Christ almighty,” Joel groans. “Fine,” he concedes.

“You’ll fuck me?”

“Absolutely not,” he snaps. “You can have my fingers. If I do this for you, will ya settle down an’ go to sleep?”

“Yes,” you agree, nodding quickly. “I’ll go right to sleep, Joel, I promise.”

Joel eyes you from the side. “You’re fuckin’ trouble,” he mumbles, scooting closer to you. His bulge presses against your hip, eliciting a gasp from you. “Jus’ ignore it,” he says. “Don’t get any ideas.”

He loops his fingers over the waistband of your pants and panties, then tugs them down your thighs until he can’t anymore. “Take ‘em off the rest of the way,” he tells you.

You wriggle off your pants, then pull off your shirt, now lying bare on the bed underneath the covers. Joel’s eyes widen, then he shakes his head. “Selective hearing,” he grumbles.

“What?”

“Just needed the bottoms gone, sweetheart.”

“Oh,” you whisper, sliding down the mattress a little more, covering your shoulders with the sheets. Joel props himself up on his elbow, the side of his head resting against his knuckles. His free hand travels over to you, fingers drumming against your hips.

“Y’ready?”

“Mhm,” you hum, anxiety and excitement permeating the air. Joel’s hand slides down to your inner thigh, and he can feel the heat from your pussy, the way you vibrate with desire.

Joel should tease your pussy. He should make you ache for it, more than you already are. Trace your lips, press his finger against your wet slit to gather your arousal. Like he would with his lover, right? But he shouldn’t even be here with you right now, god. He’s too fucking old, and you’re too fucking young. The age gap alone makes his head spin, but fills a dark part of him with an animalistic type of hunger. A hunger to ruin you, you pretty, young thing. He reminds himself that this is simply a means to an end, nothing more.

He slides his warm palm over your mound, nudging your thighs apart a little more. When his fingers touch your clit, you sigh in relief. That alone feels miles better than your own fingers, so much more concentrated.

“Jesus,” he murmurs, then rubs your clit. Not in circles, like he instructed you to do. He just rubs you there, fingers sliding back and forth over your clit as you relax into his touch. “Y’should be doin’ this yourself.”

“But it feels…it feels…”

“I know,” Joel says, slipping his fingers down the seam of your cunt to collect your arousal. You’re so fucking wet. He drags them back up, then rubs practiced, steady circles over your clit. It’s efficient and very bare bones, no bells and whistles or pulling out his usual stops. Joel has one goal, and that’s to get you off as quickly as possible, and that’s it. “Feels good,” he answers for you, then adds under his breath, “You’re playin with fuckin’ fire.”

You whimper, clutching Joel’s forearm as he guides you to orgasm. What he doesn’t realize is just how close you are, only from a little bit of his touching. You know you’re on the brink of orgasm, but you also know that when you reach that point, that’s it. You’re done. Joel’s made that much clear, that this is all you’re gonna get from him, and it has to be enough. But of course, it’s not. Not even close.

Joel dips his fingers lower, pushing his middle and ring fingers into your pussy. He keeps a palm pressed against your tummy, then curls his fingers rhythmically, bringing you to a place you’ve never been before. You moan loudly, writhing as he curls his fingers inside you, stroking that special little spot he loves so much on a woman. Silently, Joel moves his thumb to circle your clit, guiding you closer and closer to the edge.

Joel can tell you’re about there, and he’s correct in that assumption. You feel like you’re about to break, staving off release. Everything feels heightened, thrumming with something electric and almost sharp. Your moans come out all breathy, Joel’s name broken as it spills from your lips. Lost in your head, Joel pulls you back down to earth, speaking softly to you. “You gonna come for me, sweetheart?”

“N-no,” you whimper, shaking your head.

“Yes ya are. You’re right there, honey. Let go.” Joel rubs your clit a little harder to coax release along. He’s waiting for that golden moment, where you tense up and gasp before falling to pieces, a melting, shuddering mess in his hands. Only…it never comes. Joel studies you intently, watching the way your face moves. Finally, he realizes that you’re fighting it.

“What’re you doin’? I’m givin’ you what you want, sweetheart, just fuckin’ come.”

“No,” you repeat, squeezing Joel’s wrist. “I don’t want to yet.”

“Why not?” You squirm a little, and Joel stops fucking you on his fingers. “Hey - why the hell not?”

“Because I want you to fuck me,” you whisper quietly.

Joel scoffs. “Oh, you are workin’ my last goddamn nerve. I already told you, sweetheart. You come on my fingers or you don’t come at all. Choice is yours.” Joel continues circling your clit, but you still fight him.

“But I want you to fuck me,” you repeat, begging, balling your hands into tight fists as you stave off release. “I just - I told you already, but you’re not - you’re not fucking listening to me, Joel. I need–” Your desperation makes the mask slip. You have got to pull yourself together before you fuck this entirely.

“Hey - adjust the fuckin’ attitude. I already told you no, sweet pea. And I don’t have to listen to you. You listen to me,” he grits, his tone biting. “Get that through your skull, because m’sick of repeatin’ myself.”

“Why?” you complain. “Why won’t you do it?”

“Because,” he explains, “You can’t handle it, kid, I know you can’t. Too big f’ya. And it’s wrong,” he adds, “I shouldn’t even be doin’ this to you.”

You love the challenge his words incite. Oh, you’ll show him what you can handle, alright. Filled with a renewed sense of perseverance, you ground yourself and focus hard.

Joel focuses too, hellbent on not being a worse man. What he’d really like to do, really, is split you in two with his cock. He’s not unaware of his size, what he does to a woman. Especially one like you, who’s absolutely in over her head and has not the faintest notion of what he could do to her. He’d teach you a fucking lesson, maybe. Shove his cock down your throat to watch you choke on it, feel that delicious pulse as you gag. He could fuck your ass, too, watch your eyes roll back into your skull as he makes you take all of him. That’d teach you to listen to him for once, right? A little pain to put you into place, you fucking brat?

You’re right on the edge. You know it, and so does Joel. The way you soak his two thick fingers, your cunt pulsing around them erratically. Your brows are knit together as you twitch and shudder, trying your goddamn hardest to not come. Joel’s amazed at your will.

“C’mon, kid, just come for me. Be done with this,” Joel urges, frustration laced in his tone. “Don’t piss me off, sweetheart. You don’t want that.”

You shake your head, “Mm-mm - n - I wanna, I need your -”

Joel holds his palm over your mouth, cutting you off. “No. You’re not ready for it,” he tells you. “Y’don’t know at all what you’re askin’ for. Not a fuckin’ clue.”

Joel lifts his palm. “I do, too,” you argue. “Please, Joel, I can handle it.”

“Sure you can, sweetheart.”

“I’ll be good.”

Those three little words make Joel’s breath hitch in his throat. You have to know exactly what you do to him, with the looks you give him and the way you beg. You’ll be good. God, he’s gonna end up fucking giving it to you. He shouldn’t, he really fucking shouldn’t.

“Please?”

Joel sighs heavily, worn down by your incessant, sweet fucking begging. And honestly, what he wouldn’t give to ruin you. To fuck you in half, shatter you into pieces. So be it, he decides.

“Fine,” Joel says. “But this didn’t fucking happen. Do you understand me?”

“I understand,” you answer sweetly. Christ, your fucking good girl act. You have to know what you do to him.

“A’int fuckin’ right,” Joel mumbles, rising and yanking the covers off the bed. He quickly takes off his shirt and shucks off his pants, gripping his cock tightly as he hovers over you. He never should have fucking indulged you, but here he is. Joel reaches between your thighs to collect your arousal on his fingertips, then coats his cock in your mess. He’s fucking huge. He’s generously thick as well as long, and you’re not sure if you’ll be able to handle it like you said you would. “No backin’ out now,” Joel says.

“I’m a little nervous,” you admit.

“I’ll bet you are,” Joel says, and your heart races. He lowers himself, then presses the thick tip of his cock against your pussy, dragging it through your folds before notching it inside your tight entrance. “Your pussy’s too pretty f’ya to let me do this to you,” he says. “Now take a deep breath.”

You take a deep breath in, and that’s when Joel begins working himself inside you. You whine in pain, scooting back towards the headboard to try to slow it down.

“Where d’ya think you’re goin’, huh? You stay right there, sweetheart.”

“Slow down, please—”

“What’s the matter? Thought you could handle it, tough girl,” Joel taunts, squeezing your hip while sliding further inside you. He’s not even a quarter of the way in yet, and you’re already reeling from the pain of his thick cock stretching you out. He draws out a little, admiring the tip of his cock coated in your arousal, then inches back in. “S’really hurtin’ ya, huh?”

You grab any part of him that you can, attempting to temper the way he enters you. Make it slower, gentler, less…less. He pulls out a little, then pushes in further than before, earning another high-pitched whine from you.

“Who tried to talk ya out of it, sweetheart? Hm? Who warned ya? You remember how to say my name? It's Joel, darlin’. Sound it out.”

Joel’s being so mean, and it makes you feel like crying. He draws in and out of you, still yet to bury himself all the way inside, watching your reactions as he holds a hand on your ribcage, making you take it all.

“Yeah, I know. S’a big stretch, huh? Hurtin’ pretty bad?”

“Yeah,” you whimper, looking down at where your bodies connect. You’re not even close to taking all of him in, and already it feels like he’s fucking you in two.

“Mhm. In over your head, aren’tcha, kid? You gonna listen to me next time?”

“Yes - fuck!” Joel pushes in another inch or so, and it makes you yelp in pain. “Yes, I’ll listen,” you say, voice thick with tears. Joel watches them begin to fall, and he quickly wipes them away with the back of his hand.

“Won’t hurt forever,” Joel grunts. “S’easier f’ya rip off the bandaid. Want my help with that, sweetheart? I’ll make it quick.”

“N-no,” you sniffle. “I need you to go slow.”

Joel nods silently, continuing working himself inside. A small movement of his hips out, then in, then out again, and in a little further. He could make you take it all right now, be done with this whole song and dance. It really would be easier on you. The proverbial mercy-kill. That dark part of Joel sort of likes the pain he gives to you, though. He tries not to think about that too hard, stuff that feeling down deep.

Oh, the tears you cry. The pretty face you make, features all contorted in pain. Joel gives your hip a soothing little rub before moving his hand to your clit, massaging the sensitive bud as he pushes into you, making you whimper even more.

“I know it hurts.” Joel presses his palm against your cheek, rubbing your lips with his thumb as your cunt pulses around his length. “Let it be a lesson to ya, huh? Stay out of a grown man’s business. He knows better’n you. ‘Cause look at the mess you’re in now, sweetheart, cryin’ on a cock that’s too fuckin’ big for you. What am I gonna do with ya?”

“I don’t know,” you sniffle.

“I know you don’t. Tried to tell ya this wasn’t a good idea, sweet pea,” Joel whispers. “Now buck up. You’re halfway there.”

Joel takes the liberty to speed the process up, to sheathe himself in you fully, and does so quickly. At least, quicker than you’d like him to, as evidenced by your high-pitched whines. “Shhhh,” Joel hushes, pushing his fingers into your mouth as if to pacify you, or distract you at the very least. “I know, I know, I know.” You bite into Joel’s palm, squeezing your eyes shut as you feel his cock splitting you in two.

“Quit your cryin’, and breathe. I got you, kid,” he says, “We’re finishin’ this,” then pushes in you the rest of the way, the blunt head of his cock kissing against your cervix. “There,” he grunts, “Worst is over.”

You open your eyes, first looking at Joel and then between your bodies, where his connects to yours. You don’t see any of his length left, only the long, wiry, bits of graying hair that surround his member. What you don’t see - what Joel does see - is that pretty, thick bulge his dick makes against your tummy.

He lifts his hand from your mouth, “I did it?” you ask.

“You did it,” Joel affirms. “Good job. Proud a’ ya, kiddo.”

Joel gives you a second to get used to the feeling of him buried inside you, to wrap your head around it. There’s not much thinking going on in that head of yours, though, that much he can tell. All cockdumb and he’s barely even fucked you.

It doesn’t feel good yet, like it should. It’s an intense pressure, an awful stretch, and it worsens with every throb and twitch of Joel’s massive cock. You squeeze his biceps as he lowers his head and bites your shoulder hard enough to leave a mark, and then you bury your face in his curls. He draws out of you and oh, there it is. “Attagirl, easy does it,” he groans, “You just lie there and take my cock, sweet girl. Take it good for me.”

Joel sets his pace then, steadily pushing in and out of you. It’s not violent or cruel, not even particularly harsh, but the hurt is still there. Joel rocks his hips, pulling out of you all the way and filling you right back up again with each and every stroke. Soon enough, you’re moaning.

“Yeah, that’s it. Goddamn, sweetheart. Don’t hurt so bad anymore does it?”

“No.” You shake your head. “Still hurts,” you murmur, voice tight with pain.

Joel chuckles. “Oh, it does, huh? Tsk. Well, you’re in it now, darlin’. Gotta see it through. Don’t try an’ quit on me.”

Joel increases the speed at which he fucks you, damp curls falling over his forehead as sweat glitters on his skin, a bead of it rolling down the length of his aquiline nose. He watches you intently, a stern sort of expression painted across his features. That dimple on his right cheek flashes as he purses his lips, a grunt escaping his throat.

“Joel,” you choke out.

“M’almost done, sweetheart. Gimme five more minutes. You can do five minutes, can’t ya?”

The pain is relentless, unwavering, until it starts to vanish, replaced by a dull pleasure. It builds in time as Joel pounds into you, increases with every brush of his pubic bone against your clit. He keeps a hand on your breast, squeezing the flesh there hard enough to bruise, pinching your nipple before soothing the ache with a practiced flick of his tongue. Jesus Christ, you feel good. Your soft body, all for him. The way your poor cunt hugs him so sweetly - he’s not lasting much longer now.

“Why don’t you try an’ come for me, pretty girl? Can you do that f’me?” Joel licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit in those same circles from earlier, coaxing along your release.

It’s no surprise you come as hard as you do, as quickly as you do. All pent up for god only knows how long, and the way you were hellbent on staving off your climax earlier. It’s enough to ruin anyone.

With a couple more good, hard thrusts, you’re clenching around Joel’s cock, his name spilling from your lips as you come undone. Poor girl. You look so overwhelmed, so fucking wrecked as you come so hard, and it’s no wonder to Joel why exactly that is. “There it is,” Joel coos, wiping away the tears you cry. “Ohh, yeah. That’s a good one.”

Joel guides you through your orgasm as he chases his own, fucking you harder and deeper. He pounds you in non-rhythm, his thrusts frenzied and frantic before he’s coming too, spilling load after hot load of his come inside you, filling you with the most soothing warmth. He pulls out of you quickly to watch his spend spill from between your thighs, and it’s so intimate, the way he watches you experience that private pleasure.

“Goddamn, baby. I fuckin’ ruined her,” Joel whispers, gathering a bit of his spend on his fingertips to push it back inside. “Why’d you want me do that to ya, huh?”

You only shrug. Words are hard for you right now.

“She still hurtin’ a little?”

“A little,” you answer quietly.

“Mhm, she’s all swollen. M’gonna kiss her all better, alright? I’ll be nice an’ gentle.”

Joel taps your hip and mumbles something you don’t hear, what with the ringing in your ears, then lifts your bottom half and slides a pillow beneath you. He parts your legs, and is so profoundly tender as he drags a thumb through your sensitive, slick flesh.

As promised, his lips replace his fingers. Joel begins with a quick kiss, then another, and another. His facial hair feels almost sharp against you, almost painful, but his tongue is so soft. So practiced as he licks up the seam of your cunt, tasting his own work - not that he minds, really. His lips quickly attach to your clit, and he suckles gently. You don’t need much, not right now. He keeps himself buried in that beautiful space between your thighs until you’re coming again, a little softer than before. Gentler. The quiet after the storm.

You’re crying, all overwhelmed still. Joel scoops you up into his arms and covers you with the comforter, quietly shushing you. “I know, sweet girl. It’s over now. Was a lot, wasn’t it?”

“Mhm,” you hum, sniffling still.

“S’why you gotta listen to me, hm?” Joel pushes some hair out of your face, then kisses your warm cheek as he lays you on your side. He fixes the blankets, lays them all out flat and even before taking his place next to you, curling his frame around you. “I gotcha, kiddo.”

As you settle into bed, Joel scratches up and down your side, and kisses your shoulder. “Two orgasms,” he mutters. “You made out like a fuckin’ bandit, sweet pea. You know that?”

Another shrug, and Joel chuckles. “You gonna be a good girl and go to sleep now?”

“Yes, Joel.”

“Alright. Sweet dreams, trouble.”

If you enjoyed, please please please reblog with some sweet thoughts or hop in my inbox 🩷🩷 your kind words go farther than you know in keeping me motivated to write. It’s been a while. I’ve missed my Joelie perverts 🫂💕

Kitty tax for my sweet readers 🩵

#clarke recs #joel miller smut #joel miller x reader smut #tlou fanfiction #joel miller tlou

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seethew3stwithm3 · 5 months ago

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i love you corruption kink. i love you older men who want to take advantage of my naivety and inexperience. i love you men who coo and praise and reassure me when i cum embarrassingly hard from being touched like this for the first time; who laugh and pat my head and tell me that it’s okay, that it’s natural, that that’s exactly what i’m supposed to do. i love you men who want to be the first — and only — reference i have for what sex is supposed to be like. everything i know had to be taught from him, from his hands, from his cock. i love you <3

#amen

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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#need him #joel miller hbo #the last of us hbo #tlou hbo #pedro pascal

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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I'm sat. Oh boy. I'm so sat. Front row, centre seat. People have tried to make me leave, but I am simply too sat.

Listening to Ethel Cain while reading this chapter was.... such an excellently immersive choice?

I'm sorry, and I know I say this in literally every chapter, but this was so hot.

The way he fucking spoke to her??? As he was pressing deep????? I think my soul left my body, and it's down in hell, limbo dancing with the devil.

I've been WAITING for this icky, delicious man to take her virginity, and the way it's been building up since the very start? AHHHHH I'm dead. The tension in this one..... dare I say I could taste it..........

And, good LAWD, when they were done????? And he was like 'that's both of us, made a mess of you' (or something along those lines, I think I was losing consciousness out of pure, unadulterated lust.) RAAAHHHHHHHHHHH-

She's so real for this. I, too, would be insatiable if this was the man I'd pulled. WOW-

smother - part vi: sanctification

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: whether you're ready or not, joel is keen to take your virginity and your freedom. 9.7k words. chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, dubcon - lack of enthusiastic consent & stockholm syndrome, coercion, reader is a virgin (not for long 🤪), big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55), ddlg/daddy dom! joel, sub!reader, fingering, squirting, unprotected piv, the v card is leaving the building, mild choking, corruption kink, pet names for reader (including a new favorite one), dirty talk, joel is just NAASTY y'all, reader has hair that can be grabbed onto, the start of some feelings??? if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: i'm in a hate literally every word i write phase right now but i poured over this chapter countless times and just have to get it out into the world. not very reassuring lmfao but i really hope it's living up to everyone's expectations and desires for the story and this big moment! sending love to everyone who has been commenting and encouraging me during my writing of this story ❤️

reminder i have no taglist anymore, follow @beardedjoel-updates to hear about my new fics!

“Kneel.”

Joel speaks the one word, eyes glued to you with that hungry glare of his. It’s beyond ravenous now, his body taut and buzzing as he grips the leather in his hands.

His hand holds onto your hair and tilts your head upwards and far back to look straight up at where he dominates above you. Your breathing shakes, neck aching already. The moment is so serious, so tense that the air seems to go stale around you. Joel had taken your silent staring moments ago as a chance to explain, tell you exactly what he was holding and why. A collar, he’d said, starting the conversation. The word rendered you speechless all over again, your stomach twisting and turning, the space between your legs feeling that familiar throbbing again. You didn’t know why you felt turned on, and it just silenced you further, only leaving you the mental space to sink down to your knees when he’d asked you to. Let it all go.

“Let’s make things real clear, now, m’little sugar,” Joel says smoothly, bringing the collar down and letting it brush along your cheeks, dragging it across your face. You shudder, starting to tremble a bit, knees throbbing already as they press into the floor. “You wearin’ this is more ‘n somethin’ daddy likes, it means everythin’. It means… you belong to me, you got that?”

“Yes, sir,” you spit out quickly with a slight rasp, finding your voice. Joel gives a harsh tug on your hair before he drops it to kindly caress your other cheek, continuing to drag the leather along your face, shoulders and neck. Almost as if he can’t help himself, the movement descends into him gripping your chin, then your neck, squeezing lightly.

“It means…” he continues, his eyes merely shadows in the quickly darkening room as the sun sets outside. He pulls both hands back, situating the collar in his hands, bringing it down to the correct position across your neck. You start to tremble harder without realizing it, your body frozen as you feel the leather touch the column of your throat, Joel’s hands wrapping it around you. He then stops, not quite clasping it yet, just holding it tight around your neck. “I own you, princess. You are mine. Every little piece. It’s mine.”

You just pant softly as his hold stays steady on the column of your throat, unable to speak. Why can’t you speak? Why can’t you move? Why does Joel paralyze you every single time into obedience with just his words?

“Now don’t go quiet on me. Repeat it back for daddy, sweetie, so I know you want this,” Joel commands, pulling the collar a little more taut. You inhale a strained breath and look at him from underneath your lashes.

“Y-you…” you choke out, feeling him go slightly tighter in warning. “You own me. I’m y-yours.” Your stomach flips again at the admission, knowing you’re getting further and further from a point of no return now. Ownership sounded pretty far gone already, you figure, and here you were, openly letting Joel claim that over you. You feel sickness rise up at the words coming out of your mouth, violent against that part of you that wants this, that feels hot anticipation at the thought of it.

“Oh, good girl, that’s right, princess. You’re all mine.” Joel’s voice is full of eagerness, stuffed down and hidden in his controlled tone, but you can feel it. You whimper a little, terrified by the permanence of all of this, of just how much more you’re giving up to him. But you’d also be lying if you said this didn’t make you feel wild inside, that little part of you screaming out to be completely taken care of like this by Joel. To live an easy life, have everything you need, feel the freedom that he offered here. As ridiculous as it felt to say to yourself, he was offering you freedom from the constraints of your past life, it was just a new set of rules.

Joel catches your wandering gaze, the hesitancy in your expression. He tugs the collar harder against your flesh, his hands still wrapped around, waiting to complete the ritual.

“This just shows the world you belong t’me. Shows me you’ll trust daddy to do what’s right. It’s a good thing, princess. I think…” A dramatic pause as he sighs softly. “That you’re ready f’this. Don’t you trust me?”

Your eyes lock on his. Do you? Joel hasn’t always been kind or perfect, but you suppose he’s never tried to hide exactly who he is from you. “Yes,” you whisper, casting your eyes downward before you can torture yourself further on it. Joel’s smirk spreads across his face, and he pulls the collar as tight as it’ll go, watching the quick flash of fear across your face before he lets up, softening the touch.

“Eyes up here while I do this,” Joel says with an upward nod of his head and nudge to your chin. “Wanna see those pretty eyes while I make you mine.” You try to keep your gaze steady, studying Joel’s face, his lips parted greedily and eyes narrowed and wild looking. You think he just might be handsome like this, when he’s so enraptured by you and the current moment. His fingers work to start clasping the collar closed, moving with a slow reverence for the process, almost giving a feeling of respect for you. You wait with baited breath until he’s finished, leaving it tight but with enough room to breathe comfortably. You carefully continue to watch his face as he keeps his eyes trained on the new accessory around your neck, securing it and then tucking a finger between the leather and your skin, humming out a contented noise at what he feels.

“Fuck…” he grunts out softly. “So perfect… made for my baby…” He gives a little disbelieving shake of his head while he stares straight at your neck, drinking the sight in like he’s been parched for days and you’re the only balm he needs.

“Not too tight?” he asks quietly, and you feel your eyes grow wider when he glances up to them, catching your gaze. You shake your head, your skin tingling where the collar is touching, burning up with a strange, animalistic fever for him right now. You just sit, knees pressed hard into the rug that surrounds Joel’s bed, staying silent with your mouth slightly ajar.

“What’s that look for, hm, sugar?” Joel asks, arching a brow. His face morphs into a lighter, teasing expression, clearly beyond pleased with himself and you right now.

“I- I don’t know…” you stutter out. Your eyes drop, scanning the room with a sightless stare, your mind reeling as you travel deep into your thoughts. “I’m just…” You try again, sighing out in frustration at your lack of vocabulary, lack of being able to even understand what you’re feeling right now.

“Can I see it?” you finally ask with a little more determination. Joel continues to smirk, tilting his head at you, a flash of surprise in his eyes but he blinks it away, acting as if he’d expected you to ask that question.

“Of course, princess,” he replies softly, offering you his hand. You grip onto it tightly and Joel helps to pull you up from where you kneel, swiftly sliding a hand around you with the motion, guiding you with it pressed against the small of your back. He leads you to the large mirror above the dresser, just across the room from where you two had been, and as you approach, the sight that greets you turns your stomach and sends a skitter of sparks up your spine. Joel’s arm, protectively, possessively wrapped tightly around you, his body crowding close. Your face looks… different than usual, you think, but maybe it’s just your mind playing tricks on you. You step closer, Joel following like he’s glued to you, the smirk on his face not fading in the least. His eyes roam over your scantily clad body through your reflection, landing once again on your neck. It makes you shiver, the way you can see what he sees right now, what his eyes are hungry for. You realize now you’ve never seen you and Joel together like this.

“Go on, look at it,” Joel insists, pressing you forward until the front of your body is against the dresser, as close as you can get to the mirror. You lean forward, inspecting the collar - a relatively thin, dainty black band, nothing so thick it takes up your whole neck. It’s almost tasteful in its sleekness, complete with an o-ring hanging off of the front. You’re afraid to question what it might be for, already having a hunch, but you find yourself slowly bringing your hand up to toy with the ring anyhow. Joel’s watchful eyes follow your hands to where you hold the ring between your fingers, inspecting the entire collar, the way it only covers a fraction of the still fading marks Joel had left on your neck the other night.

“What do you think, my little blossom?” Joel asks, leaning over slightly to kiss the side of your head. Your brows twitch inward, your sight tearing away from the collar to find him in the mirror. “What? You like the new nickname, baby?” Joel questions in that cocky tone of his he uses when he already knows the answer. He kisses the side of your head again, planting several more on your hair while he watches you in the mirror. Your open mouth twitches to a small smile as you breathe out the tiniest chuckle.

“It’s cute…” you say with a sudden shyness, feeling your face burning at his special attention.

“Mm, jus’ like you,” Joel teases, his lips trailing downwards, craning his head towards your neck. “My cute little blossom. All mine, ain’t she?”

You nod silently as Joel’s lips brush the sensitive skin near your ear and you shudder. His fingers quickly slip underneath the collar at the back of your neck and tug hard, yanking your neck back with a choked gasp flying out of your mouth.

“Use. Your. Words.” Joel reminds you, using the collar to maneuver your head further back towards him.

“Y-yes, daddy. All yours,” you quickly spit out, shaking as your body responds to the beginning of what it's perceiving as a threat. But you aren’t sure anymore if your mind can discern the difference, if you truly feel threatened by him anymore. Maybe this was Joel’s way of cherishing you, of keeping you, reminding you where you belong now.

“That’s right. Good girl,” Joel replies, giving the collar another tug, softer and more loving this time.

“Now you’re gonna be good ‘n watch while daddy makes you feel good, yeah? Watch how much y’want it,” Joel says, wrapping a hand around you, landing right under your breasts. His eyes dart there at your hardened nipples pressing against the fabric before they flick back to your face.

You find a soft, curious grin pulling at your mouth, letting yourself give him the satisfaction of making you smile. “W-watch it?” you ask warily, feeling your face warming at the idea.

Joel nods, nuzzling his nose into your hair and breathing in. “Mhm, that’s right. Help you learn, babygirl - why it’s all so wonderful, all the things you’ve been missin’.”

“O-okay…” you mumble hesitantly, trying to learn to trust him. You watch as Joel’s hand snakes over your belly, fingers splayed out as his large hand roams downward, ending between your legs. He bunches the thin fabric of your nightgown as he moves, bringing it between your legs where he cups your bare pussy, your underwear long gone down in the kitchen from where he’d cut them off. You whimper quietly, the anticipation of what's to come already building up, your body seeming to pick up where you’d left off earlier before Joel’s outburst.

You breathe out a soft moan as his whole hand rubs your cunt, the fabric gathering up your desperately poured out slick as he goes, watching your face intently as your eyes start to mist over with desire. His dark eyes look so handsome as you meet them, slightly narrowed, his sharp glare so knowing, so confident in what he’s doing to you.

“Daddy…” you whimper quietly, your body pressing backwards, ass grinding into his crotch, hips bearing down onto his hand slightly. “Please…”

“Beggin’ for daddy…” he chortles, “And to think y’were tryna’ run from me, run from this…” Joel’s hand starts to force aside the bottom hem of your dress, slipping underneath so that his calloused fingers brush along your bare thighs. Your spine feels alight with the shiver that travels upwards as his warm hands find your chilled skin. Joel’s lips find your neck once again, nipping lightly above the new collar. He finds himself attaching his mouth to the skin, sucking another fresh mark on you. He trains his eyes on your face as he does it, watching you watch him. Your breathing is ragged, the view you have so sexual and intimate, beyond anything you’d ever have imagined seeing in your life. You’d never known you were missing something so divine yet so dirty, it’s own form of worship that you’d never been clued in on. That’s what Joel is doing, you realize, as his fingers find your slit, gently skimming the outside of your lips while his mouth tickles your neck - he’s worshiping you. Worshiping our body, what you give to him, what he can take from you.

“An’ you wouldn’t even think of doin’ that now, would you? Not after you’ve seen what daddy can give you, hm?” His fingers inch closer and closer to where you need them, your vision cloudy and mind vacant of anything but this feeling.

“N-no, sir, never…” you say, thinking it might be half a lie, but you can’t imagine wanting to leave when you’re well on your way to heaven right this second. Joel’s hand holds steady on the back of your collar, forcefully bringing your head further back, allowing him to admire the column of your throat as the new symbol of his ownership rests tightly against it.

“Not when I own you now… a man’s property can’t ever really get away from him, can it… ‘Cause if it did, he’d find it,” he murmurs close to your ear, threatening and quiet. You look on at your mouth popping open in the mirror as two of his deliciously thick fingers slide inside of you, easily guided along as your fluttering pussy eagerly accepts them. “This is mine. Whenever I please. Whenever I want, whatever I want.”

“Oh…” you moan out quietly, feeling tears sting at your eyes, unsure of why they’re even there in the first place. It feels so good, such a welcome relief, contrasted by his words that threaten to crush your very existence down into a hole for him to fill whenever he desires. But half of you wants that, wants to please him, to make him want you and keep you so that you’ll be taken care of. Joel says those things because that’s how he can be good to you, you realize. That is what he has to give, maybe all he has - that role where you’re under his thumb, where he owns every bit of you.

“You like that, hm? Desperate to be used up by daddy, aren’t you? To watch in this mirror while I fuck you with my fingers? Make my little girl feel good?” Joel grits out, his fingers retreating and then entering you again, tortuously slow. He smirks, his cheek pressed against the side of your head while your eyes are transfixed between your legs where his fingers disappear inside of you over and over again. You whimper fearfully when he tightens the hold on the collar again, stealing your breath away for a brief second as your trachea adjusts to the new level of pressure.

“Shh, shh,” Joel coos quietly. “Feels good, baby, I know.”

You strain out a tiny sound, somewhere between a cry and a moan when his fingers curl inside of you, touching the spot that makes your knees start to wobble.

“Wh-wh-” you stutter out in a rasp, trying to understand. Your breathing labors further as Joel’s smirk grows more sinister, his hold more absolute on the collar.

“You wonderin’ ‘bout this special spot, aren’t you, blossom?”

You nod, the motion only serving to cut your air off further, and you still your head back against his shoulder, trying to catch your breath. Joel responds first with another devastating curl of his fingers, sending your eyes rolling back, losing focus.

“See, you’ve got this special spot that feels extra good inside here, and only daddy can reach it f’you. Bet those little fingers of yours couldn’t do it even if you tried.” He tuts mournfully for you at that fact before he smirks again. “Only me,” he clarifies, tyrannical as ever with his brows crinkled together. You stare on with your mouth agape, your knees going more unsteady as he presses against it again, moving his fingers in and out of you harder each time. You cry out, your belly warm and taut each time he does the motion, building up tension as it starts threatening to release.

“I… it…” you whimper. “So good…” you mumble in between breathy moans, unable to control your body now as it wobbles and grinds down into his hand. His fingers squelch and slip through all of the slickness, and your mind reels with the way you react to him, unable to even understand how your body just knows, how it responds so willingly and abundantly for such a dangerous, sick man.

Joel picks up his pace at your praising words, pressing hard on that spot and keeping the same rigid hold on your neck. Your hands fly up to clutch at the collar, your body starting to go into some kind of fight or flight mode, desperate for just a little more air after going without it.

“Pl-” you start to beg in a croaking voice, but Joel swiftly cuts you off.

“Not ‘till you come, my pretty girl,” he announces, kissing the side of your cheek and moving to your neck, the sensation overwhelming on top of everything else. Your whole body starts to sweat, heat sweeping over your skin, the spot right where he’s touching deep inside of you radiating outwards in a tingling sensation as you feel yourself start to get lost in it.

“Daddy…” you mumble, the word cutting off into a moan as your core tightens, spasms starting to rock through you. “Daddy,” you cry more urgently, eyes fluttering shut.

“Eyes open,” Joel barks sharply, giving the collar a tug, and you snap your eyes back open to watch, and see your body convulsing in his hold as your climax washes over you. Joel stuffs you so hard it almost starts to hurt, pumping his fingers rapidly before shoving them so far in you nearly scream out with the pleasure it brings when he stretches you and pushes on the spongy bit inside of you with all that he’s got. “Fuck…” he mumbles, feeling your slick pouring out in plenty, a never ending well of how badly you want him.

“Oh… it’s so…” you cry out loudly in a panic, hands clawing backwards to reach for Joel, gripping onto anything you can find - the fabric of his shirt, his hip. The sensation builds to a desperate level, then something more you’ve never felt before as it tears through you. “Daddy!” you yell loudly, nearly scared of the reaction your body is having as you feel a sudden gush spilling out of you at the tail end of your climax. You watch in horror at the way your dress gets soaked, the fabric going more translucent with the wetness, eyes wide and urgently searching for answers.

“God damn! Fuck,” Joel punches out eagerly, his breathing hot and heavy right against the shell of your ear while he frantically continues to pump his fingers. “Who woulda thought… first time tryin’, too…” Joel muses to himself, eyes fixated on the same stain on your dress.

You whimper as tears roll down your cheeks, your entire body quaking with the spasms while you come down. Joel’s fingers start to idle, staying inside of you while he looks on in amazement. His hand releases at the back of your neck and you suck in a greedy, shaky breath, chest heaving.

“That’s a very good girl for daddy, y’know that? Daddy’s messy little girl,” he says pleasingly, pecking the side of your head with a few sloppy kisses while he pulls his now shining fingers out of you, absentmindedly bringing them to his mouth and sucking on them. You shake your head in response, finding his gaze with your watery eyes.

Joel reads your lost, alarmed expression and starts to stroke the back of your head. “Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart, you did a good job. That jus’ means you really liked what daddy did to ya, okay? Nothin’ bad, nothin’ scary, promise.”

You feel a slight twinge of relief pass through you and nod wordlessly, letting your body start to settle, your heart rate calming. Joel grips you by the shoulders, spinning you to face him, looking down at you with a satisfied smile.

“You’ve made daddy real happy jus’ now,” he says, stroking along your hairline, fingers curling behind your ears. His eyes bounce around your face, taking in the way you’re glowing a bit, a thin layer of sweat on your forehead. “I wanna reward you.”

You furrow your brow, looking with expectation as you wait for him to continue. “A r-reward?” Your heart jumps a little at the idea, finding the urge to be rewarded by him stronger than you’d realized. The idea is so appealing - pleasing him to the point where he wants to give back in return - it makes your stomach flutter suddenly. You blink up at him, allowing yourself to get a little lost in his dark brown eyes for just a beat. He presses closer, completely closing you in against the dresser and you can feel how hard he is, his cock straining against his jeans when they brush against your center.

“Mhm,” Joel replies. “I think you’re ready, baby,” Joel says tenderly, bringing a gentle hand up to trace along your cheekbone.

“Ready…?” you repeat back meekly, feeling your gut swirl with an unhealthy thrill countered by a quick flash of fear. “I don’t… I-” you mumble, shaking your head, knowing your anxiety at the idea is showing clearly on your face. One of Joel’s hands interlocks with yours, and he starts walking backwards as he pulls you along to the bed.

“Y’wanna know why…” he starts, reaching the end of the bed with you, maneuvering your body and gently, silently demanding you downwards, your ass falling to the bed with a small bounce in your wake. You try to catch your breath, caught in your now swollen feeling throat, your body starting to shake as you see his obvious bulge inside the denim come face to face with you. “...I started to call you my little blossom?”

You tear your eyes away from his crotch to meet his eyes, dark chocolate swirling with the voracious need to feast on you, take this last part of your soul away. You nod, licking your dry lips before worrying on the inside skin of them.

“W-why…?” you ask timidly.

Joel’s body moves, starting to crowd in on you, sending you scampering back on the bed a bit to accommodate him. He climbs up, crawling over top of your body, his hulking form lurking above you in a way that makes you feel hot all over. One arm keeps him balanced while the other cups your face, his eyes softening as he gazes down at your worry stricken face “‘Cause you’re delicate, baby, so precious t’me. An’ I’m about to watch you blossom, help you become a woman. Show you what your body was meant to do.”

You let out a shaky breath as he gives you a keen look, hands reaching for his waistband, unzipping and starting to wriggle his way out of his jeans. He pauses to lean down and kiss you, his lips eagerly meeting yours, trying to soothe the look of concern on your face.

“Shh, shh, I’m gonna make sure it’s proper for you, baby, my sweet little thing. You’re gonna be so happy you gave this special moment to daddy, promise ya.”

You swallow hard and nod, knowing that the surety isn’t reaching your eyes, that Joel can still see the fear in them. You can see it practically spur him on - the more your fear increases, the more turned on he gets. He likes knowing you’re so nervous, that you don’t know what to expect. Your inexperience is his power, his way of keeping you right where he wants you. You don’t know what you want anymore, all of it feeling like some figment of Joel’s desires that are nestled inside of you now, taking over. Do you want Joel to do this right now? Are you ready to give this part of you over to him yet? You’d been taught so much in the opposite vein that it’s messing with your head, the way you crave exactly what you’re not supposed to have yet.

You don’t know how to get your thoughts straight, your mind trying to push through what feels like a swirling cloud of thick fog, unable to see clearly through it all. You lay motionless, though, as Joel’s hands explore your body, running down your arms and landing on your thighs, bunching your gown up in his hands.

“Your dress now, honey,” Joel coos, starting to lift from the bottom, easily sliding it off of you, leaving your body fully exposed to him in mere seconds. The one protection you had is off and tossed to the side before you can even think to protest. You body curls in on itself slightly as Joel moves off of you, quickly standing off the bed to start shucking off his jeans. As he’s pulling his flannel down his arms, he narrows his eyes in your direction.

“Don’t hide yourself, sweetheart. Straighten out, now, lemme see you. Nothin’ to be embarrassed ‘bout.” Your cheeks burn at the way he’s called you out, and you try to unfurl yourself, letting your legs fall open, spread for him, and put your arms at your sides. Your heart thunders in your chest, the reality of it all crashing down and hitting you when Joel starts to strip down his briefs, revealing everything to you. His cock is massive, bigger than you’d remembered in your mind's eye, and you fight the urge to wince at its angry, dripping head, oh so desperate to fill you up. Or, at least you think that’s where it's going.

He starts climbing back onto the bed, crawling over you like a predator, his eyes flickering quickly in the warm, dusk light that streams in through the windows.

“Mmm,” he murmurs sensually, sending a wave of heat over your skin at the primal sound, the way you can feel his bare flesh starting to come together with yours. “Fuck, so pretty, aren’t you? Gonna look so good w’my cock between your legs.” He’s becoming more vulgar by the second, the conqueror in him swelling with excitement, overtaking Joel’s rational brain. You wince audibly when he brings himself down, and you feel the head of his cock brush your leg, squeezing your eyes shut for a brief second.

“I-it’s going… in there?” You swallow down the lump in your throat when his greedy smile answers for you. “P-promise it won’t hurt?” you ask through watery eyes, finding yourself tearing up and trembling as you try to keep still to not upset him.

Joel simpers, cocking his head at you. “Oh, my sweet girl. Sweet as honey…” he marvels, leaning down to kiss your tear stained cheeks. “Your body is made for this, sugar. But I can’t promise this might not hurt some. I’ll just do a little bit, mkay?”

“I d-don’t think…” you start, shaking your head violently as you glance down in between your bodies, seeing the monstrosity of his cock eagerly making its way towards the apex of your thighs. “It w-won’t…”

Joel’s hands move to pin your wrists down, making your breath pick up in a panic, fighting every urge to struggle against the hold - you know what happens when you upset him. “C’mon, sugar, it’ll just be a little bit f’now. You’re ready for this, babygirl.” Joel says with an impatient air as he repositions himself over top of you, his weight pressing down on your body. It makes you feel even more breathless to have him crowding you like this, his thick cock terrifying the hell out of you as you picture any part of it entering you.

“I- it’s not gonna fit,” you cry out, shaking your head desperately, hoping he sees the fear in your eyes and it slows him down, makes him reconsider.

His hand comes to your cheek, the back of it stroking down one time before tracing a finger along your lip, before shoving two of them inside your mouth, effectively gagging you. “Shh, s’okay. Promise it’ll just be a little bit. Only hurt for a second,” he tells you, and you consider his words, having nothing else to go on but his promises. You suck instinctively on his fingers as you brace yourself, eliciting a tiny groan from Joel before he pops them back out.

He doesn’t wait, doesn’t seem to care about hearing any response or protestations as he sinks his hips down, the head of his cock bursting into your tight hole. He keeps his word for now, just pushing in the slightest bit but you feel like you’re being split open already, your walls pulsating around him as a burning sensation takes over. You blanch and whine, ragged breaths ringing out into the room.

“Fuck…” he moans loudly, pressing his hips down a little more. You wince again, drawing a sharp breath in through your teeth as you grimace. A quiet ow leaves your lips and Joel shushes you, pushing himself further into your tight heat. You try to keep yourself quiet, terrified of what’s happening to you, and the wrath you could endure if things don’t go Joel’s way. The burn is becoming unbearable though, your body unable to accommodate his size just yet as he inches in.

“Doin’ so good, such a good girl,” he says with a quiet whimper, finally meeting your eyes for a brief second, finding them wet and glistening, seeming to ignore it. “God, oh, god, fuck,” he groans into your shoulder, burying his face further. He bites down on your skin, teeth sinking right into your shoulder as he groans louder, more animalistic this time. You hold back a sob as he bites harder before pulling back and sucking hard, surely leaving a new, memorable mark.

“Jesus Christ, fuckin’ perfect little cunt. God it’s all mine…” His breathing is erratic, all over the place now, breathy little curses flying out of him as he slips himself further inside of you.

“It h-hurts, daddy…” you whine, but immediately feel it fall on deaf ears as Joel zealously nibbles at your neck as he pulls the little bit of his cock out and pushes right back in, starting a slow rhythm with his hips. After a few pulses he thrusts in a little deeper, releasing an untamed, broken sound from deep in his chest before pulling the skin of your neck between his lips again.

“Daddy, please…”

“Shh, shh, y’just gotta adjust,” Joel says in between marking you, his teeth and tongue scraping along your fragile skin around your pulse point. You whimper quietly, hoping he’s right, that the burning sensation will stop soon. You’ve lost him completely now, though, you realize, as he moves with more vigor, each time his cock slides in more until he’s pushing past your tightness, your pain, and you cry out. Your hands flash up to his shoulder, grabbing on tightly, fingers digging into his skin as you squeeze it through the pain.

“C’mon sweets, daddy needs this, he’s been waitin’ too long f’this. Shush now. Don’t act like y’don’t want this,” Joel mumbles with a few more gentle kisses along your neck down to your collarbone. His hips snap a little quicker, starting to jostle you and you whimper and whine to no avail. He’s so big, your tightness working quickly to try to accommodate his quickening intrusions.

“Okay, baby,” Joel says with a sigh, finally seeming to see some reason as his voice changes to a softer tone from the needy, detached one he’d had just moments ago. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, honey.” He catches your eye, seeing your tears on the verge of spilling out and smiles more kindly at you, stopping his hips completely. “Got carried away w’ya, it jus’ feels so good for daddy.”

You nod, brows furrowing together with worry as you welcome the stillness of his hips. Joel’s hands come to your face, gripping your cheeks, letting his thumbs rub soothing circles along your jawline. “Now jus’ take a deep breath, breathe w’me, I’m gonna go a little more.” Joel imitates a deep breath and you try to follow his lead, your own breath coming out shaky as hell while your body continues holding every last shred of tension it’s hanging on to.

“Breathe…” he reminds you, seeing how tense you’re holding yourself, how tight your chest looks as you keep your breath in. “Jus’ relax…”

“I-I can’t… it’s too much already.” You shake your head as you feel Joel bearing his hips down, the sting of his cock inside of you starting all over again You feel fat, fearful tears trickle down onto Joel’s large hands, little rivulets sneaking through by his knuckles.

“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head, curls of hair falling down onto his forehead where he balances above you. “It’s not too much, you were made to take daddy’s cock, thas’ what your body was made for. Jus’ breathe…”

You start to let go on your next breath out, your entire body relaxing as you slump down into the mattress. “There ya go…” he coos, leaning down to capture your lips. Need blossoms in your core at the wet warmth meeting your own and you moan quietly, starting to bask more in the feeling of fullness now. Joel lets his tongue dance into your mouth and you accept it hungrily, starting to feel more confident in the way you’re kissing him when he lets out a pleasured sigh.

Joel reaches down to hoist your hips up slowly, angling them upwards as he presses in again. He nudges your calves, coaxing you to wrap them around him. “C’mon now, put your legs ‘round me,” he instructs you right against your lips, and you pull your trembling legs around his waist, trying to support yourself against his body. His hips start to move ever so slowly, so that you almost don’t notice that it’s happening yet, too caught up in how incredible it feels to kiss him, feel his needy lips devour you. You shudder when you feel his thick girth slide further now, but Joel keeps his lips on yours, other hand buried back against your head, cradling it.

“Mmm.” Joel pulls back with a groan, “Feel ya, sweetheart. Can feel you feelin’ good now,” he comments, looking down at you with a curious gaze. “‘M right, aren’t I?” he asks with a cocky air, hips grinding slow and steady. It makes your breath hitch when he reaches a new depth and you nod with a more perky livelihood about you. You’re finally starting to understand everything, how it feels to fit together with a man like this, how it can feel good, just like you’d heard people say.

“Mhm…” you whimper quietly in reply, your hips twitching into his. It sends Joel’s own hips rolling forward and your back arches automatically when you feel his depth reach further than you could have dreamed of. Your insides nearly want to burst, the pleasant pulse of your cunt wrapping around his cock making you squirm in pleasure. While it still burns, you’re finding more bliss in the pain, excitement at the way you can feel so much of him.

“Guess what, princess?” Joel asks amusedly, peppering a few kisses along your chin before catching the corner of your mouth. Your desperate lips try to meet his, just missing as he pulls away.

“Hmm?”

“‘M all the way inside you now. Did such a good job.” The look of pride and satisfaction on his face stirs your heart in a foreign way, making your gut tingle pleasantly.

You blink in surprise, hardly able to believe the entirety of the massive appendage you’d laid eyes on earlier could fit… down there. “R-really?” you ask shyly.

You want to glance down but your heart beats out of your chest, afraid to see something so… intimate… so nearly pornographic. Even after what you’d witnessed in the mirror earlier it still makes your cheeks burn hot to even think about, so you keep your eyes on Joel’s, but he’s already looking down, watching his body connect with yours as he starts to move again, a bit faster than he has yet.

“Go on and see f’yourself. It’s fuckin’ gorgeous, sugar.” He notices your hesitation, the way your mouth goes dry and how you bite the inside of your lip. “Don’t be shy, c’mon now, it’s beautiful ‘n natural, what we’re doin.”

He places his hand on top of your head, gathering a bit of your hair in his hand as he forcefully tilts your head downward. Your jaw falls slack and your eyes barely blink as you stare at the sight below - Joel’s girth sliding in and out of your spread pussy, disappearing over and over. The both of you slick and shiny, something you can see and hear as his quicker movements start to fill the room with wet, sloppy sounds. You feel him kiss something deep inside of your body each time he fully thrusts himself in and your mouth starts to water at the lewd sight, unable to take your eyes off of it. Eyes sparkling in complete wonder and curiosity, mouth agape as you stare.

“Thas’ right, ain’t it beautiful? Look how good you’re takin’ me, little blossom.”

You just nod in disbelief before Joel pulls your head back to his level, making eye contact with you. He rolls his hips more quickly now, snapping into you with a power that starts to take your breath away and he watches carefully as your face twitches into a contorted look of pleasure.

He hasn’t let go of your hair yet, tugging it to pull your head back and expose your neck. Joel licks his lips before diving down, licking a stripe up your neck to your jawline, tongue passing over the rough leather of your collar. His lips find a spot and suck hard before pulling away, glancing up at you to see your eyes rolling back at all the sensations you’re experiencing. He continues to press himself up to the hilt with each bounce of his hips, and it’s starting to build a steady warmth deep inside, spreading from where the tip of his cock presses and upwards, filling your entire core. The little whimper you let out has Joel reeling, moving himself more urgently, losing himself to you.

“Yeah? Like the way daddy’s cock fills you up after all, huh?” he grits out as his breathing picks up with the effort. You moan when he hikes your hips up slightly and his length presses in on something amazing with each thrust, that spongy part deep inside once again. You choke on air, eyes flying open wider and staring at him. Your hands scramble up to clutch onto his neck as the feeling intensifies with the speed of his rhythm.

“Daddy…?” you pant out, feeling completely overwhelmed but unable to stop chasing the feeling, your hands gripping tighter around his neck and your back arching. A familiar fire burns inside your belly, growing with each thrust, blooming outward.

“Shh, let it happen, baby, squeeze daddy’s cock for the first time, s’gonna feel so good.” He kisses you again, now knowing it's something that seems to make you feel safer and you gladly accept his mouth another time, kissing him back as you try to breathe in between the meetings of your mouths. You resolve yourself to moaning against him, the sound becoming more uncontrollable as you feel the white heat licking at your lower belly, all other senses starting to fade out.

“Oh… oh my god….” you cry out. “Daddy… please… you….”

“I know, c’mon princess.” Joel urges you on, hands reaching to grasp at the plush flesh of your hips, anchoring you in place to pound into you. You whimper and cry, soreness and pleasure mixing in beautiful harmony while you’re stretched to new limits. Finally, you feel yourself diving off that cliff, the edge giving way and you fall into beautiful bliss, clenching powerfully around Joel’s cock, spasming while you whimper louder and moan, barely able to catch your breath. It’s unlike anything else, unlike the way he’s touched you so far, the other ways he’s made you feel good. It hooks into you so much deeper, the high so much more full and round as your vision explodes with stars and then goes white while you ride your climax, barely aware of the way Joel is moving now.

“Good fuckin’ girl, god damn it, good girl, good good girl…” Joel murmurs a string of praises, intently watching your face go through the range of new emotions while you come hard all over his aching cock. He can barely contain himself, pumping frantically while your hold tightens around his shoulders even further, urging him to bring himself closer to you. His body is slick with sweat as it connects with yours, merely a limp form laying on the mattress now, trying to find a grip on reality. Joel continues to use you, jacking himself towards completion with your spent cunt, grunting out expletives.

“Ain’t gonna last, baby, not w’the way your tight little virgin pussy is squeezin’ me, god damn it,” Joel tells you, grunting louder. “Fuck, gonna fuck my cum into you, aren’t I? Make you all mine, finally…”

“Y-yours…” you murmur quietly with a wanton moan, brain fried while his cock is still hitting the deepest, now overstimulated parts of you. You have the urge to skitter away, your body hot and sore, every nerve lit up and on edge. Your head lolls to the side, then back straight, finally opening your eyes again to look at Joel. He’s gone red, veins on his forehead protruding with the strain, the effort of even holding out this long, knowing he’s gotten everything he wanted now. He’s shining with sweat, his curls bouncing along in front of his face where they hang down and you marvel at him, the most vulnerable you may have ever seen him. It makes you smile, for some reason, and Joel loses it completely at your willful smile, stuttering out something incoherent before his head is thrown back and he groans loudly, his hips stalling deep inside of you. You watch the veins of his neck pulse while you feel his cock twitch, spilling everything he has. You take in the moment, breathing heavily along with Joel as he trembles, trying to hold himself above you.

“Christ,” he rumbles, nearly collapsing before rolling off, exiting you with a loud squelch that makes your mind reel a bit. Your breath catches for a moment while you feel Joel’s spend leaking out of you, hand silently reaching down between your legs to investigate. Your hand is met with so much… wetness that it makes your eyes pop open wider for a moment. Joel is lounging with his eyes shut, gathering himself until he hears a quiet squelch, peeking his eyes open to see you in a mystified state, hand between your legs, but little pleasure written on your face.

“I-is that…?” you question in a hushed tone. You’d seen Joel’s cum before, even felt it the other morning when he’d forced your hand, but this was so different now, the fact that it had been inside of you like that made you shiver for some reason.

Joel chuckles, his arms curling around you protectively, sliding himself close as he brings you against his broad chest, all warmth and strength radiating off of him.

“Thas’ both of us, right there,” he tells you proudly, chest puffed out, riding the high of his dominance, his claim over you. “Means we did it right. Made a fuckin’ mess of you.”

“Huh,” you whisper quietly, pulling your hand away and wiping it on your thigh, leaving a streak of slickness there. You lay quietly now as you process everything, letting Joel hold onto you. The reality of this night is still sinking in, the fact that something you’ve been told your entire life is wrong outside of their set confines just happened like it was no big deal. It was already over. And you were still… you. Nothing had changed, apart from the aching soreness that now tore through you between your legs. Joel peers over at you, eyes glued to the ceiling, hands laying firm at your sides, chest gently rising and falling.

“Hey little one,” he says softly, turning to face you. “What’s goin’ on in that pretty head, hm?”

You shake said pretty head, unsure of what to say, how to articulate it.

“Talk to daddy,” he insists, curling you even closer. You slowly find your hand wrapping around him and landing up by his shoulder, seeking comfort.

“I… I’m the same…” you murmur, knowing it sounds stupid, nearly incoherent. You’re surprised that Joel catches your vague meaning, his eyebrows raising the tiniest bit as he listens.

“No, baby, you’re not,” Joel replies, his voice soft as ever as he thumbs your chin. “Means you’re all daddy’s now, that I’ve got a special part of you. That don’t mean anythin’ to you?” His tone sounds hurt, and you quickly backtrack in your thinking, trying to figure out how to soothe him.

“N-no… it’s not that,” you reply quickly, flashing him a cramped smile. “I… think all of that is t-true. I just mean…” You stumble on your words, thinking for a second. “It wasn’t… bad. I’m not bad for it.”

Joel smiles a little, letting out a chuckle. “‘Course you’re not - you’re my sweet little girl. This is the most beautiful, natural thing in the world f’us to do, my lil’ blossom. So good…” His lips find the top of your head and kiss you. You feel relief, almost like this weight lifted off of your shoulders now that this mysterious, unknown universe has been revealed to you. You’re lighter for it, a more real grin grazing your lips while you look at Joel with hope.

Your cheeks burn hot as you consider your next question to him. “S-so it’s okay? We can do that more?”

“Christ,” Joel chuckles out. “We can do that all the time, sweetheart. Plannin’ on it, in fact.”

“Hmm,” you murmur, pressing your lips together at the pleasant thought of that. While it hadn’t started out like you’d imagined, by the end of it all Joel had left you a satisfied, shaking mess. And you think you’d like to explore those feelings more despite how conflicted you are about all of it.

“You liked it, didn’t you, sweetheart?” Joel flirts. “S’okay to admit you want to be sexual to daddy, you know that, right? Ain’t a thing wrong with it.”

You nod shyly, finding your cheeks warming up all the to your ears, though, still not quite sure if you’re ready to go that far. “W-was…” You clear your throat, swallowing. “Was I good at that? At doing… it?”

Joel laughs, a little chuckle that feels genuine as it echoes across the room. “God, baby, you’re too precious. Almost wanna keep you like this forever, so sweet ‘n innocent.” He squeezes you tightly for a second, squishing you against his chest. “Yes, honey, yes, you did such a good job f’me. You’ll get used to it some more soon an’ it’ll be more fun, sugar.”

You chew on your lip, thinking silently for too long. Joel notices, angling his head to look down at your face.

“Y’seem unlike yourself, darlin’. See those wheels turnin’ in there,” he says, giving you a soft, playful tap on the center of your forehead.

“Daddy,” you mumble, shifting uncomfortably. You steel yourself, unsure of how your blatant question could be perceived, if it’ll rock the boat too much, send Joel into a fury. “I just - why do you want me here? Is it just… for that stuff?”

Joel sighs, his body going a little slack underneath you as you glance at his stricken expression, his lips pressed into a thin line. “My sweet princess…” he starts with another long sigh. “I’m gonna answer this, but I want you to never ask me somethin’ like this again. You got that? Consider it talkin’ back, which, well, daddy doesn’t like.”

You huff out a breath before you can stop yourself. “I don’t know what you like, ‘cause you won’t just tell me,” you snip with irritation. “Not until it’s too late and you’re hurting me.” You cast your eyes away, finding the frustration bubbling inside of you leading to another set of embarrassing tears.

“Oh, honey,” Joel says quietly. “You’re right… I ain’t been clear enough, have I? You have so, so much to learn…” His hand wraps around the back of your head, stroking gently. “An’ I get ahead of myself. I’ll lay things out real clear in some rules, how’s that sound?”

“Yes, please, sir. I- I don’t want to be scared of doing something wrong anymore. I feel so… tired… of being scared.” Your voice cracks a little on your final words, eyes burning with the threat of tears for a countless time since you’d arrived here and you curse yourself, clenching your teeth. You’re surprised at his reaction, though, grateful it seems to be leading to something productive instead of his teeth or hands or worse drawing blood from you.

“Shh, okay, my sweetheart.” Joel’s hand traces soothingly along your scalp. “I got you. You won’t have to worry. Tomorrow we’ll lay out all the rules, hm? Get you to write them down like the good girl you are. Like I’m your teacher in a class, an’ you wanna be my top student. How’s that sound?” He teases, his voice lifting with a sweeter, humorous quality, one of his hands skating along your side to send you twitching as he tickles you. You giggle, swatting his hand away without much effort, allowing him to feel whenever he desires. You finally turn your eyes back to his face and give him a small, more hopeful smile.

“You really will?” you ask. Joel nods sincerely. “Yes, please then… uh, sir.”

“Polite,” Joel whispers the small praise before his lips find yours and he kisses you deeply, a soft groan slipping out against your lips. You melt at the feel of his expert, plush lips and his strong body pressed against yours, so warm and inviting in the chill of the bedroom. Just when you feel that primal need for him start to pull at you again, which mesmerizes you that it’s so soon after you’d just finished, Joel pulls back, his breathing a little heavy while his fingers trace up and down your bare arms.

“The answer is no, blossom,” he announces. You’ve heard his tone like this before - kind, understanding, and so in contrast to his other side you feel you’ve seen equally as often. “It’s not just for sex. ‘M gonna need all that from you, sweets, but you give me so much more’n that, you understand? Don’t ever doubt it again, neither. Daddy would never use you jus’ for that - you’re my everythin’ now, my special girl to take care of and keep close t’me. You make daddy so much less lonely.”

You feel your lips parting in wonder during his small speech, the words more tender than what you’ve heard from him so far. It sends your heartbeat picking up a few paces wondering if he could be telling you the truth right now. Did he really see all of that in you? Someone like you - ordinary, never called out to be special in any way before. Even in your community, at home with your parents, then Harry and Josie, you’d always felt you were kept more in the dark than anyone else. You’d started wondering if it was because Harry, Josephine, and the rest of the group hadn’t deemed you important enough, didn’t really see you.

But Joel. Oh, he saw you. He saw deeper than anyone had bothered to in your entire life. He’d seen your cries for help and tended to you. He’d seen your inexperience and taught you. He’d seen your weakness and accepted you. He was committed to you, your safety, your livelihood. It made your head spin the longer you laid curled up to him, thinking on it. Thinking on how much your life had changed in a matter of days - whether for the worse of the better, you weren’t entirely sure yet.

“Thank you,” you finally mumble, a timid, small voice squeaking out, arm squeezing Joel a little tighter.

He seems amused, chest puffed with a tiny chuckle. “What for, huh? It’s jus’ the truth, sweet girl.”

“You… you see me, I think. Don’t you?”

Joel cups your cheek, his heart nearly bursting out of his chest with self-satisfaction. Your words felt like magic as they landed on his starved ears. He licks his lips, his brain latching onto the idea of him seeing you, really seeing what you need. It was clear you were starved for attention, for knowledge, for anything in life before you’d arrived on his doorstep. You’d needed this, needed the way a man like him could see you as you were and guide you. Joel’s suspicions about your group had long been growing with your naivety and lack of experience in every facet of life being shown to him more by the day. He hadn’t wanted to say the word to you yet, keep things sensitive for now, but he knew what they were, what they’d done to you. They’d kept a sweet, perfect thing so pulled away from the real world, so tucked away and hidden, almost taking away this chance to have you under his care. He feels no remorse as he silently thanks the group that raided your community - they’d sent you running right into his arms. Whatever it took to get you here with him, to keep you here with him was alright in Joel’s book, no matter the casualties along the way.

“I see everythin’ you need, everythin’ my little blossom could ever need. I know you, sweetheart, know what you need. You need someone to put you front and center, make you everythin’. That’s all you’ve ever wanted, ain’t it?” Joel asks confidently, and you watch as his lip twitches in the hint of a smile, the kind he wore when he’d read right through you.

You feel your chest get tight at his honesty and the way he seems to have uncovered your truth so easily, one of the deepest hidden parts of you. It makes you emotional, the endless well of tears you seem to have pouring out a few more. “Yes…” you admit in a whisper. “Nobody ever…”

You turn your face, burying it into Joel’s chest, warm with embarrassment and not willing to show him your shameful face. Wanting attention in the way you had been fantasizing about for years was wrong, you’d learned. All of it drilled into your head, and you’d believed every bit of it, to some degree. It was half the reason you’d never even tried to think about anything of this nature. But it lingered deep inside of you - the hunger to be wanted, to belong, for this attention and reverence placed on you. The proper thing was to wait for it, wait for your appointed marriage to only possibly receive any of the attention you’d been seeking. But it was never going to be enough, no. Too much else in the world to share that attention with, too many other factors at play, distractions. It was never going to satisfy you.

You’d needed… this.

“Until…” you add on in a hushed purr, lips whispering as if it was a prayer, right against the curls of hair on Joel’s chest. You can’t commit to the sentence, commit to locking yourself in even further, a ridiculous thought considering the events of this evening. You’d all but sold yourself over to the devil tonight, became his tamed pet, his property, yet you couldn’t spare him the satisfaction of simply saying it.

“Until…” Joel repeats, his eyes alight with that vulturine stare as he watches your naked body curl further into him, your eyes cast downward like the good little girl you are. A kiss placed on the side of your head, putting his lips right near your ear, where his next words send a shudder through your fraught, vulnerable frame. “Until… me.”

#clarke recs #fic: smother #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #dark!joel miller fanfiction #dark!joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #daddy dom joel miller #ddlg joel miller

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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Okay, SO! I actually read this last night, but had to take a whole eight hours of sleep and the entire day that followed to process. And you know it's serious when I've opened up my laptop to write out the reblog, instead of just typing away on my phone.

Listen, I saw the word 'somnophilia' in the warnings, and I almost threw my phone at the wall because I'm so normal about it. Had me biting my fist in shameless glee or whatever AH!

Waking up to Joel in between her legs made me LOSE my fucking MIND. I was giggling and kicking my feet and twirling my hair. What's a moral? Don't know her. Don't want to know her. I'm happy here on my one-way flight to hell if it means gettin' dicked by that old man.

And PLEASE, the he was like 'just sit there and look pretty while I do some chores and shit.' RAHHHHHH I need him BAD! (Carnally, biblically, in a way that's concerning to feminism, etc, etc.)

And I just have to rant and rave about the writing of this chapter in particular- Okay, so. The way that there's a certain domesticity and softness, a sense of calm, of being wholly protected, ONLY for it to be flipped onto it's head when Joel catches her touching herself, and becomes so forceful and aggressive?

I was shook, because this is so insanely well written that I was like WAIT HOLD ON THAT'S RIGHT HE IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD MAN WAIT HOLD ON!!!! I was too busy being like 'oh he's so sweet and just wants to take care of her and make her feel good,' to remember that he's manipulating her?

Girl, I'VE been Stockholm Syndrome-d by your writing. The line is so, so blurred and I am having THE BEST TIME losing my mind over this series.

smother - part v: penitence

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: it's just another day learning to live in joel's cabin, until it isn't. things reach a breaking point, leading to a new discovery of just what joel wants from you. 11.3k words. chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, dubcon - reader is consenting but the syndrome is stockholming so its dubcon, noncon somnophilia, almost nonconsensual piv, coercion, reader is a virgin, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55), ddlg/daddy dom! joel, fingering, thigh riding (yeehaw), briefest knife play, corruption kink, pet names for reader, reader is lifted by joel but that's mostly it on description, if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: i know this chapter gets a little darker and intense there towards the end, but i had to remember that joel is our crazy sexy cabin man and return to his roots. i hope you all enjoy reading as always! s/o to my babies @jupiter-soups and @huffle-punk for always bouncing ideas and dealing with my ass in general reminder i have no taglist anymore, follow @beardedjoel-updates to hear about my new fics!

Please please oh please please please…

The begging whimpers fall from your lips in a near feral state, your entire body hot, sweat gleaming from what feels like every pore as you writhe around on the bed. Joel’s gaze is hard and his smile a devilish smirk as he shakes his head.

“Nope… not good enough…” he tells you.

His fingers move in absurdly slow strokes in and out of you, practically just dragging along your walls at the most painstaking pace. You cry out again, tears welling in the corners of your eyes, ready to drip down your youthful cheeks. He sits in between your legs, one hand wrapped around his cock to tease you, giving you a full view as he touches himself and barely gives anything in return.

“Daddy please, I need it, I need it…” you whine in a voice that doesn’t sound much like yours. It’s too high, too convinced that she needs what she’s begging for.

Joel’s free hand strokes his cock more sensually and he grins with a toothy smile, feeling cocky. “This what you want? Go on, touch it and I’ll let you have it.”

Your teeth grind together as you push out a grunting noise, your wrists pulling on the two restraints holding your wrists up above your head and to the headboard. You strain against them, tugging hard to try to reach Joel, glancing up to see the two chains locking your arms where they are.

“No… fair…” you cry, lip trembling and pouting. The ache inside of you is all screaming heat now, a void that can only be filled by one thing. The one thing you physically can not reach for.

“Life ain’t fair,” Joel replies casually, moving himself so that he’s straddling your hips. He’s all heat and sweat and bare skin against you when his chest comes down closer to yours and you roll your hips into him, a whimpering, blubbering mess. You can almost feel him, the thickness of his cock against you as it juts out. It lands unsatisfactorily on your thigh, inching its way closer to your center.

Please… You think the words leave your mouth again but you aren’t sure. You’re lost, deluded beyond repair, your mind a hazy cavern that only echoes Joel’s name over and over.

“Lucky I’m in a giving mood today,” Joel says with another smirk. He suddenly presses his hips forward, crashing them into yours with force.

You gasp, your eyes flying open as you awaken to the darkness of Joel’s bedroom. Your heart thuds in your chest as you gather yourself for a quick moment and take in your surroundings. You remind yourself as you have had to for the last several days that you’re in Joel’s cabin. You live here now, your purpose is to warm his bed and be subject to his whims.

The space between your legs is warm and achy from the dream - it had all felt so real and tangible in the moment. As you come to, you notice, or feel, rather, Joel’s thick fingers swirling inside of you. You gasp again, your hips twitching into the touch when your body and mind catch up to one another. He presses his finger deeper, touching the spongy part deep inside of you before retracting it with a wet squelch.

“You poor thing,” Joel murmurs, his face burying in your neck to kiss the skin there and suckle a fresh mark on you. You wince at the sensitivity of the skin there, wondering just how many marks he’s made at this point. “Makin’ all kinds of noises, baby. Noises that mean y’need daddy to help you out.”

“Wh-” you murmur in a haze, blinking a few times to finish getting the sleep out of your eyes, hips arching instinctually as Joel dips a knuckle back into your tight hole. “Mmm…” you moan out before you can help it. Your body is craving it, the dream having you on edge already, cunt dripping out sticky and wet onto your thighs before Joel had even been woken up by your lewd noises and put a hand there.

The satisfaction he’d felt at finding you slick, dripping and muttering his name had him feeling bold, rushing to get inside of you as quickly as possible. He hadn’t even minded that you’d called him Joel instead, knowing that someday soon you’d only have that one word in your mind at all times. Daddy. Your world would revolve around your daddy soon, he thought eagerly as he’d carefully slid his fingers into you, making sure not to wake you at first. It almost made it better, he thought, how unaware you were in the moment of just how much he was helping you out, how good he was being. He could have you fully in this state, feel you tighten around his fingers as you dreamed about whatever filthy things were in that innocent mind of yours.

He couldn’t ignore the aching of his stiff cock the more he felt your cunt flutter and tighten around his fingers, gushing as he touched you. Joel’s hand slipped over to his cock, covered in your slick as he listened to your little whimpers and watched you toss and turn, burning up with need. He’d furiously stroked his cock until it was red and throbbing, spilling himself across his bare belly before returning to your needy little pussy. The sloppier he got, the less he’d cared if you woke up, and when you finally gasped your way back into reality, he’d thought it was about time. He had been starting to feel impatient to see your pretty lips part in moans for him as you came, watched your eyes lock on his as he brought you the pleasure.

“Y’need this so bad, don’t you, sweetheart?” he asks you in a patronizing tone, words running thick, hot, and sweet off his tongue and right to your cunt, sending a throb deep inside of you.

You nod quickly, your breathing heavy as you chase your hips further onto his finger. “Please…” you whine, eerily reminiscent of the dream that got you here in the first place.

Joel’s free hand grabs your wrist, dragging your hand to his belly. Your eyes widen when your fingers are suddenly coated in something wet and sticky, and you turn your head to look, seeing the mess of Joel’s cum now sticking to your digits. Joel smiles, satisfied at your cute as sin look of surprise and confusion, guiding your hand back to your own body, bringing it lower between your legs.

“I- I-“ you try to stutter out something, anything in protest, afraid of what you’ll feel. You’re too ashamed to admit to Joel you’ve never really touched yourself there, never done much exploring between your legs, and the idea still scares you a little at this point.

“I know, I know, baby. You don’t know what you’re doin’ down there. You want daddy to help make you come? Let me show you how to do it?” he asks eagerly.

You nod hesitantly, your eyes fluttering a bit as your breath catches when your fingers brush your clit at his urging. He gently wraps a hand around the back of yours and smears his spend all over the lips of your pussy, your eyes widening again with the newness of everything. You burn with shame of never having explored yourself like this, that Joel has to show you just what to do right now.

“Mm… look at that… gonna stuff daddy’s cum right up that tight little thing,” Joel murmurs, his eyes dancing with delight as he keeps them locked between your legs, watching his creaminess mix with yours. He has you writhing within seconds, moving your fingers and then slipping his own into the mix, getting you to a sweaty, panting state.

“I’ll let you come, ‘f you tell me about your dream.” Joel lets up on the movements and glances over at you with a wry smile, his lips twisted to the side. Your cheeks heat up at the prospect of sharing that with him, telling him the details your brain had conjured up to just how badly your subconscious wants him. You shake your head a little, pressing your lips together before biting the inside of your cheek.

“N-no, it’s… I’m embarrassed,” you admit to him.

Joel shakes his head. “Nothin’ to be embarrassed ‘bout. You gotta share this stuff w’me, princess. Daddy needs to know everythin’ about you if this is gonna work.” You contemplate his words for a moment and feel a fresh burning of fear settle in your belly at the idea of upsetting him or disobeying him. Especially in such a vulnerable position right now, so much of you on display for him to hurt, your mind fragile and full of need, making it easier for him to break down.

“You won’t laugh at me?” you ask quietly, shuddering when Joel forces your fingers to swipe up your velvety slit. He shakes his head slowly, an intent look on his face as he locks eyes with you.

“I’d bet anythin’ this won’t make me laugh. Gonna make me hard all over again, sugar,” he tells you, swirling your fingers around your clit in the slowest, painstaking circles. You gulp and then nod, having made your decision.

“It was… about you. Doing this kind of stuff to me.”

Joel smiles at the confirmation despite already having figured as much, and urges you to go on. “Yeah? And I was makin’ you feel good in the dream? Go on, then,” he replies.

“Y-you…” Your cheeks are burning hotter now, the heat traveling outward to your neck and ears, a sheen of sweat forming as you fight to bring the words out. “You wouldn’t… um, you know. Have sex with me.”

Joel speeds up the movements of your own hand on your clit enough to send your mind a little fuzzy as you try to focus on his face. “No? Doesn’t sound much like me,” he teases, satisfaction written on his face.

You shake your head a little bit, and then pull your bottom lip between your teeth as you quietly moan. “I was trying to, er, b-beg… and you said… no…” You breathe the words out between your whimpers as Joel keeps the speed up, making your fingers slip around in circles on your clit. Your legs are shaking now as you hear him chuckle, feel his body move closer to you.

“Maybe you should try askin’ again. Beg a little harder.”

Your head shakes only slightly while your core warms and tightens. You’re too close now, all you need is to chase this one release that’s right within your grasp. “I w-want to but daddy… I’m so… close… please…” You pant and your eyes flutter shut and roll back, hips arching into your joint touch.

Joel yanks your hand off of yourself and you whine loudly, your clit throbbing, heartbeat wild and pounding inside of your aching cunt. “N-no!” you cry out, feeling yourself tremble.

Joel is sitting forward in a flash, strong hands grasping either side of your hip and yanking you. Your body rolls towards him as he lifts up, settling your hips to straddle one of his thighs. He holds on tightly, keeping you hovering just above his leg as you whimper, hips urging you to grind downward and find some relief.

“Please, J- daddy, please…” Your entire body burns and feels like you’re breaking out in a sweat, every inch of you heating up by the second as you struggle downward, chasing any kind of friction. Joel squeezes tighter and you feel the pain searing your flesh, his fingers digging harshly into the plushness of your hips.

“You ain’t gonna get nothin’ till you apologize…” Joel spits out, “You ain’t gonna beg when daddy asks you to? Lemme remind you: what I say goes. Now, you gonna beg daddy for his cock now like he asked? Hm?”

Your breathing labors further, eyes flying open and searching his, finding that wild, dark look in his irises. He doesn’t want to hurt you, you remind yourself. He just wants you to be good.

“Daddy, I’m s-sorry,” you whimper. “It felt so good, I wanted to… keep feeling it…” You try to apologize, to explain yourself. You hadn’t even thought of it as disobeying him at the time, your mind clouded and hazy with pleasure.

Joel dares to release one of his hands and reaches up, using it to grip around your chin now, squeezing hard before he puts his hand along your throat, feeling all the marks he’d left the last few days as he marvels at them for a moment. His fingers only brush there but it distinctly lets you know he would squeeze there if he wanted to.

“No excuses. Beg me. Now. Don’t make me punish you for real this time, princess. Daddy doesn’t want a brat right now,” Joel instructs, both of his hands digging in so hard that your eyes start to sting with tears, hot as they brim your eyes. “Now beg me for my cock, like I know you want to.”

“I’m s-s-sorry, daddy,” you blubber, “Please g-give me your cock, please… I need it…”

Joel’s eyes narrow and he tilts your head in his grip, staring as the tears start to fall down your cheeks. “More,” he demands casually, throwing the word out like the situation is hardly affecting him.

“Please… please please please… daddy, I’ll be good, just give me your… c-cock…” The word tastes foreign and dirty, awkward as it falls out of your mouth again at Joel’s instruction.

“No,” Joel says harshly, releasing your face and using both hands to force your hips down onto his thigh. You nearly lose your balance and your hands fall forward to catch yourself, gripping into the comforter.

“Fuck my thigh like the bad little thing you are. All you get if you’re not gonna listen to me. Desperate little girl just wants to come, doesn’t she…” Your cunt touches the hot skin of his thigh, your overly-sensitive clit brushing the coarse hair there and you sigh in relief, giving him what you imagine is one of the most sad, pathetic looks you’ve ever had. Joel doesn’t fail to notice any of it, and he feels his cock twitch at the sight of so you broken down and degraded for him. Face shiny with sweat and tears, the skin around your eyes starting to get puffy, your lips pouting as you cry for him. It’s beautiful.

He swipes his fingers through the remaining cum splattered across his round belly and shoves it between your legs, smearing it along his thigh.

“Ride on daddy’s cum now, give ya somethin’ to get off on,” he says coldly, one hand reaching around to squeeze your ass, a silent urging to do as he says. You start to shift your hips, finding they roll naturally, your body chasing what it needs despite your inexperience. You moan and bite down inside your lip at the amount of pleasure already flooding you, the relief you feel on the ache between your thighs.

Joel slaps your ass and grins darkly as he watches you. “You like bein’ talked down to, huh? That what gettin’ you off right now? Want daddy to be a lil’ mean sometimes?”

His words pulse right to your pussy, sending it fluttering around nothing and you gasp at the sensation. It all clicks, suddenly. This is the kind of moment he wants - the ones where you need him, where your body screams at you to be filled up, split open. And you can’t have it. The thought sends you whimpering as you chase what you and Joel both know will be less satisfying now.

“Yes, daddy, oh my g-god…” you whimper as your insides pull tight, red hot and aching for that release. Your hips move more quickly, slipping along his thigh as you leak out your own arousal on top of his and hear the loud squelching sounds as you unashamedly continue to roll your hips along him.

“Yeah? Want me to call you daddy’s pathetic little whore? That make you wanna come?” Joel asks with venom, and like with most questions he asks you now, you just nod obediently, a moan slipping past your lips. “Fuck… you’re one of them filthy little virgins ain’t you? So desperate they’ll do anythin,” Joel spits out, gripping onto both sides of your hips and rutting them forward and back, upping the pace of your grinding on his thigh. Your breathing is caught in your throat as you try to pant, whimpering and moaning, fat tears rolling down your cheeks as his words affect you. You want it all to stop but you can’t help yourself, you feel like you’re chasing his attention in whatever way he’ll give it in this moment.

You feel your belly warm and tingling all the way down to where you’re wildly sliding along his slick skin.“I-I’m close daddy, is it okay - c-can -“

Joel’s hand lovingly strokes your cheek as his other stays planted on your ass. “Go on, princess. Feel good, baby,” Joel says, continuing to help you move your hips forward as you rock them frantically. His words send you over the edge, your legs shaking underneath you as you struggle to keep up your tempo.

“Ohhhh… my god, daddy, I’m coming…” you whine, feeling the pleasure bursting through you as you ride your high, throwing your head back and moaning wildly. When you hear yourself moaning those words, they sound so foreign, like you’re outside of your body listening in. Where the hell did you even learn to speak like that? You guess Joel’s influence is already seeping in more than you realized.

“Oh, good girl… look at you…” Joel praises as you climax, gently guiding your head down towards his chest as you start to come down. You’re panting, heartbeat in every nook and cranny of your body as you collapse onto Joel and try to catch your breath.

“Shh, shh, you did a good job, sweetheart,” Joel says softly, stroking the back of your head and rubbing gentle circles along your round ass cheek.

“I was bad…” you whine dejectedly, feeling your eyes fill with tears again, shame for displeasing him washing over you like a wave, threatening to drown you. Even bigger than that, is the shame that you liked it, used his harshness and pain to lead you on towards that glorious high.

“You were, honey. But daddy isn’t mad, no. I think you learned your lesson, mkay?” His hand works soothingly along your head, gentle fingers trailing to your neck and down your back. You nod against his chest, still finding the urge to cry not leaving you as a few of the tears spill out and onto his patches of curly hair.

“Promise you’ll learn how to be daddy’s good girl, ‘n you won’t feel like this anymore,” Joel says sweetly, his voice quiet and calm now.

You feel the lump in your throat growing as you face the question bubbling up deep inside of you. “W-why do I like i-it…?” you sob out quietly, wishing Joel could just make everything better, that his soft touches along your hair and back could fix everything, that his promises could make you stop questioning everything.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” Joel says with concern, his hands flying up to either side of your face, lifting you up to look him in the eyes. “You like it ‘cause y’do. An’ there don’t need to be any reason more. Feels good, right?”

You nod with your lips pouted, sniffling.

“Promise you’re perfect the way y’are, princess. I’ll never judge that y’like anythin’ I do or say to you. Daddy likes it all too,” he explains, and you feel the weight on your shoulders starting to lift the tiniest bit.

“You like being… well, mean, I guess, like that?”

Joel’s lip turns up a bit and he nods. “I like makin’ sure you stay good f’me. And you like bein’ good, whatever it takes to get there. Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say more confidently. “B-but I don’t want you to be mad at me. Or punish me.”

Joel’s expression shifts, showing an amused concern, looking at you like the most precious treasure as he holds you close. “Never mad, never. Not unless you disobey daddy real bad. It hurts me, y’see, when you don’t listen.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’ll be good,” you say with a sigh, dropping your head back down when Joel loosens his grip. His warm chest greets your cheek and you revel in the sound of his heartbeat in your ear.

Joel’s hand finds the back of your head again, petting as he strokes along your hair.

“I know y’will.”

Joel lets you doze for a while, contently stroking your body everywhere he can reach as he rests his own eyes. Once the sunlight starts spilling in around the curtains, he has you get up not much longer after that, helping you get cleaned up and dressed for the day. You watch as he digs through one of the closets in the bedroom, landing on a similar gown to the one you wore yesterday, only shorter and with a sweetheart neckline. He pulls it over your head and admires his choice for several long moments, spinning you around to take in every angle.

“Our first order of business today is gettin’ your wardrobe sorted. How’s that sound, hm?” Joel says.

You can feel your eyes light up, your interest piqued at the idea of new clothing. It made you especially grateful after wearing your already threadbare outfit down as you’d struggled out on your own.

“Sit down there,” Joel says, throwing a hand towards the wooden chair arranged in the corner nearest to the dresser. “Be good for daddy and stay nice ‘n quiet unless I speak to you, okay?”

“O-oh - okay,” you mumble, feeling slightly disappointed, not understanding where in his mind Joel decides these things. When he doesn’t want you to speak, what he wants you to do, say, or wear. It all seems like so much to keep track of for another person other than yourself, but you find yourself sitting back into the chair, folding your hands into your lap as Joel gets to work, pulling clothing from the dresser.

He holds each item up, sometimes in your direction, seemingly testing how he feels about it in relation to you. It makes you curious, your brain turning with thoughts since you’re not distracted by much conversation.

He holds up several more similar gowns to the ones you’ve been wearing - clearly Joel has a preference. Your cheeks warm when he pulls out lingerie, smiling to himself before holding it up for you to see too. Your smile is shy, eyes glancing at the sexy pieces of fabric before averting them.

“You’d look so pretty in this, sweetheart,” Joel comments on a floral cotton slip, the material clearly thin enough to leave little to the imagination. He folds it up and puts it into the pile he’s been building of approved clothing.

“Thank you,” you reply in barely a whisper, having to clear your throat a little from the lack of use. “Uh- um…” you stutter out, desperately wanting to ask what you’ve been thinking about, but worried more about breaking the rules. Joel looks over at you expectantly but otherwise unreadable, unclear if you speaking right now will upset him.

“C-can I ask you something?” you finally manage to spit out.

Joel holds your gaze but then smiles softly, tilting his head a little bit. He absentmindedly folds the flannel shirt he was holding and sets it onto the pile he’s been making on top of the dresser. “Since you asked so polite-like, sure thing sweetheart.”

You feel your mouth go a little dry and catch your hands wringing anxiously your lap before you try to still them. “I was just wondering… uh, why… or where you got all these clothes? G-girl clothes?”

Joel studies you for an extra moment, watching your eyes, your wary expression as you await what type of reaction he’ll have. “Well, princess,” he starts, scratching his chin as he thinks, quickly placing the wording together in his head in a way for you to digest. “Some things were jus’ here when I found the place. Ol’ clothes from whoever stayed here ‘fore the world went to shit. But I also collected some things I like in all different sizes jus’ in case I ever got lucky enough to find someone like you. That way I’d be ready ‘f them, have all the things I like for my special girl to wear.”

You feel the surprised look showing on your face before you can help it, and you stare at Joel, doe-eyed, mouth slightly agape. “You just… took clothes like that even though you didn’t have anyone to give them to?”

Joel smiles a little wider, clearly amused by you. “Sure did. Call it uh, manifestin’,” he says jovially, giving you a suave wink before turning his attention to the drawers again. He holds up a flimsy looking tank top and nods to himself, mumbling about a summer wardrobe before adding it to the growing pile. “Look what it brought me. An’ now I have lots of pretty stuff for my princess to wear, right?”

You nod. “Right,” you say.

“Don’t you think that makes daddy pretty smart?”

In some weird, twisted way, you think it does. If there was one thing Joel certainly was, it was prepared. For what you’d wear, what he needed to say to you - knowing every perfect answer and thing to say to make you trust him and want him and crave him. It was driving you insane, watching him as you sat still as he’d asked, being his good little companion while he dictated every piece of clothing you were allowed to wear going forward. And you were just letting him. Because for some reason, he’s already started to gain your trust, to burrow himself into the very fabric of your being.

“Yes, sir, it does,” you reply without a beat, making sure there’s no room for error or doubt on his part. Your prompt agreement has Joel continuing to smile in your direction for a few seconds before he goes back to organizing the drawers.

Joel finally has several stacks of clothing he seems pleased with set on top of the dresser, the rest of the rejected clothes ready to be tucked away somewhere - nowhere that matters, since you won’t be allowed to wear them, anyways. Joel neatly places everything in empty drawers for you and then walks over to where you sit, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. You lean into it, eyes fluttering with a sigh escaping your lips at the warmth of him, the way his lips feel on your skin and his calloused hand now perched on your shoulder.

“Thank you for bein’ so good for me while I did that. C’mon over ‘n see,” he says, helping you up and keeping his grip on your hand as he leads you to the dresser. You see all kinds of different colors and fabrics, most of the things you see you remember from when Joel held them up in your direction.

His arm snakes around you, pulling you in close as you rest against his body. “Now all this is yours, sugar. Anythin’ in here is approved by me to wear, okay? Daddy may ask for somethin’ specific some days, but this is all for you to choose from otherwise, yeah?”

You nod as his grip tightens slightly in excitement. “Yes,” you breathe out quietly.

Joel tuts quickly, fingers digging into the small of your back slightly. “Yes, who?” he demands sternly, and your eyes widen as you stare down at the stacks of folded clothing, realizing your mistake.

“Yes, daddy,” you say, correcting yourself. Your voice wavers but you relax once you feel Joel’s body lose some tension, meaning it was only a minor offense. He slides his hand down and pats your ass in one swift motion.

“Good girl,” he coos, spinning you to face him now. “You like all your clothes, princess?” He looks so human to you right now, so hopeful and eager to see if you like his choices and trust that he knows what he’s doing to help you.

“Yes, of course. Thank you, sir… for getting them all for me,” you reply dutifully, dipping your chin downwards.

Joel shoots you a pleased look before shutting the drawer with an air of finality. “Let’s get a move on, then. Got a busy day ahead of us.”

Joel has you as his shadow the entire rest of the day, requesting your presence at every moment. Watching him fold his own laundry. Cleaning his guns. Sweeping up the kitchen. Deciding during each task if he wants you quiet or talkative, sitting like a thing to gaze at or answering his questions to get to know you more. Did you have siblings? Yes. How many? One brother. No other family to take care of you after they all passed? No. Nobody gonna come looking for you, then? No, sir. Tell me more about what you like to do. Gardening, sir. Reading, walking in nature when it’s a safe area, always wanted to try archery but wasn’t allowed. Why’s that? It’s a man’s job, they said. Unladylike.

You find yourself in the middle of one of these interrogations after he bundles you up again to sit outside and watch him chop wood in the front yard. Joel is gleaming with sweat, each powerful swing of his ax and grunt putting him a little more out of breath. He shrugs off his flannel, using it to wipe the sweat off of his forehead, leaving him in a tight long sleeved tee shirt, a worn and faded navy color. You find yourself unable to stop staring at him like this, his show of strength seeming less threatening than before and more… attractive. Joel looks undeniably handsome and your mind dares to throw the word sexy into your thoughts as you take in his wind blown hair, reddened cheeks, and muscles on display. You feel your cheeks wanting to heat up when you realize that in all your gaping stares you’ve started to get wet, your underwear sticking uncomfortably to you where you sit.

Joel slices cleanly through one more log before he settles the end of the ax into the snow, leaning down on it as he peers at you curiously.

“Is it now? A man’s job, huh,” Joel says with a lifted brow, inspecting you where you sit on a nearby stump, swinging your legs as you kick up snow while you two converse.

“My dad let me when I was little, just sometimes as a secret. But after… he, well, you know, and Harry and Josephine took me in, I wasn’t allowed, I guess.” You shrug, brushing the memories off your shoulders as you’d learned to do when it came to your family and all of the things you hadn’t been allowed to do. Your entire life, you’d been pushed to accept certain things and never had much of the spirit to question any of it or push back.

Joel contemplates your words for a moment. “Now, there are some things a man should do f’you,” Joel’s hand splays on his chest, indicating himself as that specific man to you. “Just ‘cause you’re my delicate girl, and I don’t want you gettin’ hurt. But I’ll teach ya, get y’to know your way around a bow if you’re good f’me, how’s that sound?”

You beam at him, sitting up straighter in your excitement and squinting in the afternoon sun as you look in his direction. “You’d really do it? It’s not t-too much? Or…”

“Not too much.” Joel shakes his head, clearly pleased with how excited you are about his offer. He lets the ax drop into the quickly melting layer of snow on the ground and walks over to you. “Make you into a tough girl yet, hm?” he teases, sliding his arms under your jacket and wrapping them around you, tickling your sides as he moves. You can’t help but giggle and squirm, prompting Joel to double down, tickling you more purposefully this time.

“S-stop!” you squeal, a fit of giggles as your body flails further into his grip. “Daddy!” you cry out as he tickles you one last time, tugging you in as he stops and smashing his lips into yours. His tongue slips past your lips and into your mouth, and you melt into the kiss, hands snaking upwards to wrap around his neck. Your fingers brush through his scruff and feel the overgrown hair curling on the nape of his neck. You want to grasp it and hold on, never letting go of how good this moment feels. It’s the first time in days you think you’ve truly felt at ease, the little flash of hope burning bright inside your chest, making you feel some semblance of excitement for the future. You aren’t sure the last time you’d felt anything remotely close to that.

Joel pulls back, breathless, looking at you with his pupils dilated and eyes practically on fire, their stare burning a hole into you. “God, love it when you call me that,” he murmurs, diving in for a few more hungry kisses, leaving your body quickly burning up underneath your layers as you start to pulse with need. “Ain’t hard to do now, is it?”

You shake your head as your lips barely part from one another. “N-no, it’s easier now…” you say equally as quiet. You admit shyly to yourself that you think you might even like it, the confession embarrassing you when you’d been adamant to yourself just last night that you were more than skeptical about all of this.

But as usual, Joel had a point. This all felt kind of… good… as much as you hated to admit it. You felt safe and comfortable with Joel taking care of things - your belly was full, body warm underneath all your new clothing, and Joel seemed intent on making sure you were always satisfied in other ways, too.

“Told ya it would get easier. Remember…” Joel kisses you lightly before pulling back. “I know best, know everythin’ you need.”

You nod as he kisses you again, hands starting to roam freely inside your jacket. Joel can feel the heat radiating through all the fabric, and he starts to slowly pull your jacket off of you. He tugs it down your arms and discards it, the fresh, cool air a relief as it hits your quickly warming skin.

“Say it,” Joel says quietly against your mouth, his lips catching on the corner of yours and pressing in gently. “Tell me, baby.”

Your lips search for his desperately, eyes fluttering shut as you find yourself more and more caught up in the moment. “You know best,” you say, your voice barely a breathy whisper as your body gravitates closer to him. He towers over you, straightening up from where he’s been leaning down to kiss you, leaving your head right at his torso. He wraps his arms around your head, pulling your cheek flush against his belt line, skin digging into the waistband of his jeans. He holds you tightly there, making it so that you’re unable to move your head. Joel’s fresh arousal starts to become more and more apparently as it presses against you.

“I can tell you’re startin’ to mean that,” Joel says, “Say it again.”

“You know best,” you murmur into the crook of his elbow.

“Tell daddy he knows everything you need.”

“Daddy knows everything I need,” you whine out quietly feeling his cock getting harder right near your face. You squirm your hips as a rush of arousal floods you at your proximity to his bulge and hearing the commanding way he’s speaking to you.

“And you’d let daddy do anything he wants to you, wouldn’t you?”

“Y-yes, sir, I would. Please…” You find yourself whining, Joel’s ability to get you riled up so quickly starting to frustrate you. You’re not sure what you’re begging for - him to continue or for it to all stop.

Joel sighs, long and deep as he just holds you there for a few quiet moments, head tilted back to the sky. His hips grind forwards, pressing his hardened cock further against you and you feel a lump forming in your throat, your mouth feeling equally like it’s salivating and drying. Your need is growing by the second, thighs clamped together as you scoot closer to him.

“Good girl,” he says, releasing your head and tossing it back from his body, dusting his hands off as he starts to walk away. “Gettin’ to be about dinner time. Come on inside,” Joel adds on casually, and your mouth drops. You can’t help but hesitate, stunned by his ability to walk away from the situation, to hold back his own obvious desires in the moment. You’re panting, trying to catch your breath as you press your palms down into the sides of the stump you were using as a chair. You let the cool surface of the wood try to ground you while you wrap your mind around the sudden pivot in Joel’s direction. You’d been so ready to have him touch you again, make you feel all those amazing things, only to have it stop so suddenly. Your head spins and you turn around to see Joel already halfway across the yard.

He’s nearly up the stairs to the porch by the time you scurry off your seat, snatching your coat up in a hurry as trailing after him once you get your head back on straight. He seems unfazed as you rush up behind him out of breath, simply trudging inside and taking off his boots and jacket, depositing them in their homes near the front door.

He bends down wordlessly, crouching in front of you and starting to untie your shoelaces. He taps the side of your right boot as a silent command and you lift your foot, palm pressed against the wall to support you as Joel shimmies your shoe off, then starts on the other. He stands up afterwards, all the while silent, staring down at you with a dark gaze. He leans forward to press a kiss to the top of your head and you shudder at his proximity, recalling the intimacy of the moment you’d just shared outside, wondering if he was still aroused or if he was able to seemingly switch it off more easily than you could. Your cunt is still aching under your dress, panties likely soaked by now with the way they feel clinging to your skin.

“J-“ you start, swallowing hard as you catch yourself again almost using his real name. “Daddy?” you ask quietly, sending your eyes innocent and blinking up at him.

He touches your cheek softly and you melt a little. “What is it, princess?”

You chicken out at the last second, not even sure exactly which question you’d wanted to ask of the myriad of them running through your mind. If he was still turned on, if you’d done something wrong, if something was upsetting him, or even just begging him to touch you where it ached so badly for him.

“I- I’m cold,” you say in a mousy tone, shying your eyes down, instead of any of the number of questions you truly had for him.

Joel’s face softens a bit and he takes your jacket from you, hanging it up next to his on the hooks near the front door. His hand strokes your cheek again and he tilts his head a bit, studying you.

“Let’s get you inside then,” he says, sliding his hand down your arm to your hand, pulling you along towards the living room. “You hungry?” he asks. You nod for him. “I’ll warm us some dinner, then. Come on ‘n keep me company.” Joel places you in front of the kitchen counters while he scans the open fridge, pulling out the stew from the other day to warm it up for you two. Once it’s in a pot on the stove, he walks back over and pulls you close to him, spinning your body to face away and then leading you to the stove where he stands with his broad torso pressed up against your back as he stirs the pot of stew.

He’s quiet again, letting his body do the talking as he ruts his crotch into your ass. You fight the urge to moan out, the sensitive area suddenly alight with desire all over again. He keeps you trapped between himself and the stove, his long arms reaching around you, bracketing you in. You don’t mind at all though, the feeling of claustrophobia you’d had around Joel the last few days seeming to dissipate more with each time he draws you near, touches you. You lean back, pressing your weight into him a little bit more and feeling that he is still hard, his cock straining against the rough denim that presses into the delicate fabric of your chemise. You bite the inside of your lip, watching Joel’s hand stir the pot as steam starts to waft off of it, the rich, savory smell enticing you and only adding to your complete emotional overhaul. Your body is overtaken by all the sensations, the tiny pleasures of this moment and you lean your head back a little, letting it fall against Joel’s chest and shoulder with a soft sigh.

Joel’s free hand wraps around your body and pulls you in tighter, his breath hot right next to your ear as he leans into you, head coming over your shoulder. Your skin tingles where you can feel his stubble brush along the sensitive areas of your neck, nuzzling you for a moment. A long inhale fills the air as he takes in your scent and then sighs out slowly.

Your body tenses and you let out the tiniest sound from your throat, a quiet whimper. Joel’s lips crack a wry smile as he hears it. He’s enjoying this, testing your limits, pushing you into begging for him like he wants you to.

“Looks ready,” he says quietly. “Let’s get you fed.” Joel pulls back, leaving you stunned once again, standing breathless and wanting. You lean your hands against the rim of the stove for a moment, steadying yourself. This game he’s playing is completely new to you, leaving you reeling - so far Joel has taken everything he’s wanted from you, so why isn’t he now?

“Sit down,” Joel says sternly, quickly eyeing you where you stand with a dazed, searching look in your eyes, head bent down towards the stove.

“Y-yes, sir,” you mumble out, spinning yourself around and marching over to the table, taking a seat and crossing your arms across your chest, trying not to look too huffy, but you almost can’t help it. You observe Joel as he doles out the stew into two bowls, then checks if the bread he’d made is too stale to eat, deciding to tear off a few pieces to have with dinner.

You know you’re staring daggers into his back, starting to get annoyed with his change in behavior. You finally thought you’d started to figure him out, predict his moods and desires, enough to keep you in his good graces and safe from any punishments. Now that was all turned on its head. It left you scared but also frustrated, knowing that Joel knows how little you understand relationships and what’s normal, what to expect when you’re intimate with someone. You sit there, brooding over the racing thoughts, thinking about how he probably likes getting you all worked up like this, just to see what you’ll do, how you’ll react.

Joel places the bowl in front of you and then settles into his own chair, giving you a soft smile, not quite reaching his eyes to change the hardened, mischievous look there. You stare back, and Joel reaches underneath the table to grip your thigh.

“What do you say, princess?” he asks, his voice low and strict, squeezing your leg a little harder, fingers indenting the skin and close to bruising you.

“I- thank you, daddy,” you reply quietly, your mouth dry and stomach turning.

Joel lets go of your thigh and begins to eat, flashing his eyes to you every so often. Even with all of your frustration, that pesky aching between your legs hasn’t stopped for even a moment. It’s building, warm and tingly, each time you catch Joel’s dark, handsome eyes has a new throb popping up right there. You still want him, despite, or maybe in spite of, the exasperation you feel right now.

You eat slowly and unenthusiastically, distracted by your equal irritation and arousal towards Joel right now. He seems to be unaffected, only glancing at you every so often while he enjoys his meal. Your free hand lands softly on your lap and it stirs something within you, a desire you almost can’t ignore. You’re squirming in your seat, you can tell it’s obvious, that Joel’s attention will be caught any moment. And deep down, you know that’s the point.

“Need somethin’, princess?” he asks in a low gravel. The sound sends sparks across your skin. You’re paralyzed by desire, your mouth opening to speak but having no clue how to say what it is your body is asking for. You don’t have the language, the vocabulary, for any of this yet, having let Joel guide your way thus far. In fact, Joel seemed to have predicted each time your body needed this until now, and you’re at a complete loss.

“I- I -“ you finally stutter out, your hand slipping between where your thighs are squeezed tightly together, dragging upwards. You can feel the heat from your skin and the dampness as you get closer to the apex of your thighs, praying Joel can’t see the way your hand moves underneath the table. You slowly keep going, chasing any bit of relief when your hand gently starts to cup the outside of your underwear, finding them soaked. You try not to react, but know your eyes widened for just that split second, unable to help it as you marveled at the newness of this ability your body has that you’d hardly been aware of until two days ago.

Joel eyes you with that unreadable expression of his and flicks his gaze to your arm, noticing the way it sits under the table, catching that tiny, surprised glint in your eyes a moment ago.

“What’re you doin’?” he snips, his features darkening.

You tear your hand from between your legs and let it hang next to your chair, shaking your head. He’s caught you off guard with his harsh tone, the way the words cut into the silence and you stutter again. You wanted to show him what you couldn’t say out loud, what you needed from him.

“No-nothing- I wasn’t doing anything,” you retort quickly, feeling your heart climbing up your throat while simultaneously beating faster and harder.

Joel twists his lips a little and stares you down for several quiet moments. You sit in a silent showdown of staring at one another until he pushes his chair back from the table and stands up, slowly and carefully.

He reaches down and gathers up both of your bowls and silverware. You start to make the tiniest noise of protest but hold back, watching him with a slack jaw as he clears the table like it’s any other meal, like there isn’t some imminent storm coming.

You sit perfectly still, your stomach churning and sick, bile wanting to rise up as you anticipate his next moves. You don’t know how much he knows - not that you thought you were doing anything that wrong, but Joel may not see it that way. You’ve learned that his rules seem to carry so much weight with him for things you’d never have thought were something to think twice about. Clearly you still had a lot to learn.

He lets out a soft sigh as he deposits everything in the sink, turning back to you and walking over in thudding, deliberate steps. He looks down at you from where he stands next to your chair with no trace of pleasure on his lined, scruffy face.

“Do you want to try that again?” he asks, quiet and controlled.

Your head shakes in protest, not sure which part he’s even referring to. You’re terrified, unable to speak, but still feeling that pounding, aching feeling between your legs that just won’t fucking stop.

“Daddy-“ you start, cut off when Joel throws a hand around your upper arm, yanking you out of your chair. You gasp and cry out as he whips you around and pushes you back until you hit the table, stumbling backwards onto it.

Joel yanks you by the collar of your dress, tearing it, and you whimper at the loss and your own fear of him right now. He hauls you up onto the table, shoving you with a hard push to the shoulders with both hands, pinning you back onto the smooth wood. You struggle, your body caught in fight mode, unable to process that you know the more you fight him, the more angry he’ll get.

“Plea-“

“Shut up,” Joel spits out. “I know you’re lyin’, and daddy doesn’t tolerate lyin’. Add that to your rule book, sweetheart.” He says the pet name with a hint of disdain behind it that starts tears pricking at the back of your eyes.

Before you can stop it, the tears spill over onto your cheeks, running down along the sides of your head and into your hair. Joel makes hurried movements, a permanent snarl on his lips as he shoves you down again for good measure and starts hiking up your dress. You squirm and struggle again, only to have one of Joel’s hands stop moving along your hem and pressing down into your thigh, stopping the way your hips had been moving.

“Stop. Struggling,” he says with a bite, continuing on with your dress, tearing it up to reveal what was already able to be seen through the sheer fabric.

He smirks now, drinking in your helpless body below him, panties with a huge, wet stain just for him. He leans down over your body, and you can feel his bulge, hard and wanting, press against you when he does. His face is close to yours now, hovering above so menacingly.

“I told you, my pet, I’m the only one who can make you feel good, and the only one who can hurt you,” he starts, clicking his tongue. “An’ you didn’t think I was serious, did you? That only I make you come, make your pretty pussy feel good. Not even your god damn self unless daddy says so.” He huffs out a quick sigh. “Really thought we were gettin’ somewhere, that I’d finally gotten through that pretty little head of yours, hm? Haven’t I? That all you think about is this cock, is gettin’ your little pussy wet f’me now, like a good little pet?”

You swallow hard, breathing heavily through your nose and looking up at him with wide, bleary eyes. He ruts his clothed cock into your center and you whine, half disgusted and half aroused. His words cut deep, making your body shake harder and the throb between your legs pulse.

“Don’t move a fuckin’ muscle,” he commands, stepping away for only a second as you hear rummaging noises of a drawer opening and closing. When he appears back in your field of view you sob, tears streaming down your cheeks as you see a knife in his hand. He drags the blunt side of the cold blade over your thigh, sending goosebumps all along your flesh as you shake your head.

“Daddy,” you cry out, “I didn’t - you made me feel so… I didn’t know how t-to tell you. And you seemed m-mad at me… s-so…” you blubber, trying to explain, and Joel meets your eyes and smirks.

“Well I sure am mad now, ain’t I?” he replies bitingly.

The knife goes higher and your entire body starts to shake, thinking maybe somehow you’ve underestimated what Joel is capable of despite every terrifying moment you’ve already had with him. You know he’s unpredictable, that he isn’t a good man, but you would never think that he’d hurt you like this. Your heart squeezes in your chest in sorrow, wishing to get back the Joel from earlier today, the one who’d grazed your sides with tickling fingers and laughed with you before showing how much he cared with that sweet, deep kiss.

Joel slips the blade underneath the side of your panties where they sit snug in your hips and starts to turn the knife outward, tugging as you hear the sound of splitting fabric. Then you feel it, the fabric loosening and then falling away, Joel cutting clean through your panties. The knife clangs to the floor with a loud, ringing sound and you feel the tiniest bit of relief coursing through you.

His belt starts to jangle and you stare straight up at the ceiling, unable to stop the way you’re shaking and crying now. You peer down just in time to see his cock being pulled out of his pants, hard and throbbing for you. He yanks your hips to the edge of the table, breathing heavily, his eyes crazed and distant. You whine when you feel the hard length against your thigh as he presses closer, cocking a brow as he looks down at you. He leans forward, pinning your wrists to the table with each of his hands, staring down at you.

“Was gonna wait for you to beg me for this, but f’I’m honest sweetheart, you pissed me off back there. Deliberately did somethin’ you knew was wrong,” Joel starts.

“I didn-” you cry out, interrupting him, and he squeezes your wrists hard, fingers bruising and tough on your skin.

“Yes you did, princess. Instead of trusting me, askin’ me, you jus’ went on ahead and touched what’s mine under my fuckin’ table. Mine. This is all mine, y’understand?” Joel delivers a swift slap to your bare pussy and you flinch, scooting back on the table as much as you’re able to.

“Do. You. Understand?” he repeats and you start to nod, squeezing your eyes shut, afraid to meet his gaze right now, afraid of what you’ll uncover there.

“Yes… y-yes, master,” you whimper, using what you’ve been silently considering the name for him with the most respect behind it, hoping he’ll let up. His hold stays strong, his energy fearsome and radiating anger into the room with you two.

“Good girl.”

You tremble, your eyes leaking a never ending flow of tears as you wait in agony. “Please d-don’t hurt me… please…” Your voice is as small as ever, barely leaving your lips.

“Not tryna hurt you, princess. This oughta feel real good,” Joel says, his tone cocky as ever. It feels like a punch to the gut while Joel presses forward and you feel something large resting at your tiny entrance. You shake your head violently. This isn’t right, isn’t how this is supposed to go. He wouldn’t… would he? He wouldn’t take this from you right here, when it seemed like he had promised a good experience for you. When he’d been so adamantly taking care of you in every aspect so far, gentle enough for your inexperienced body but making you feel so, so good. Not like this. When you’re a terrified, shaking mess, unsure if you even want it right now.

“N-no please, I- I don’t want my f-first time-“

You’re cut off by a swift yelp when you feel a burning sensation, Joel’s thick head starting to enter you. It’s not much, you can tell, but you stretch and burn, yelling out at the pain.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, “Wet little pussy for me, princess.” He speaks like he can’t hear you, like you’re barely even here right now and you cry out again at the pain, this time louder.

“Please!” you scream, kicking your legs as much as you’re able to. “It hurts! Stop!” You squirm with all of your might, one last ditch effort to stop him. “Daddy!” you scream, eyes squeezed tightly, fists curled into painful balls as your nails dig into your hands. “Daddy…. Please…” Quieter now, your voice giving up on you as you whimper out his name, the one only you get to call him.

Something about your last whimper has Joel stopping, going completely still. A reminder that he’s supposed to take care of you, be your daddy. You dare to open your eyes to look at him now and see his face is stone-like until his eyes land on yours. He frowns, his hands loosening their grip on your wrists a tiny bit.

“Shit…” he murmurs, his face falling completely, like he’s been broken out of a trance. He looks angry, more with himself than with you as he releases one of your wrists and runs a hand down his face. “God damn it… got me goin’ fuckin’ soft,” he mutters quietly, sighing.

Your chest heaves, waiting quietly as you watch Joel work through something and then pull back his hips from yours. The relief is instant and you let out a shaky breath.

“I’m s-sorr-“

“No. No no, stop.” Joel shakes his head, hanging it low for a second. He lets go of your other wrist and reaches forward, scooping you up to sit against his body. “Daddy’s sorry…” he murmurs in your ear, and your body sits stiffly against him. You try to hold back your whimpering sobs that sit in your throat like a lump, not wanting to give him that power yet again to comfort you like this.

“Shh, shh, daddy is sorry…” he repeats, smoothing your hair and holding you close. You tremble, your entire body screaming at you to get away, adrenaline pumping through your veins. But his scent has become more comfortingly familiar to you, and as it hits your nose you relax the tiniest bit.

His hands slide to your cheeks and hold them lovingly, much more gentle than he’s been the last few minutes. His brown eyes look sad, large, and weary as they peer into yours. You wonder what he sees there - if he can read the terror, the confusion, the heartbreak you feel right now.

“Oh, sugar, when you look at me like that…” Joel muses, heartstrings pulled by your desperate expression. “I was so angry… I wanted you to learn, baby, but I know that wasn’t… it wasn’t helpin’.” He sighs, thumbs stroking your wet cheeks, and you barely dare to blink or even breathe as you take in his words. “It’s been a long time since I’ve…” he trails off, lost in thought for a moment. “God damn it, sweetheart you just…”

Your lips sit open in shock now at the change in his behavior, and you start to find your little voice climbing back up out of the depths it had been scared to.

“I j-just what…?” you ask quietly, a small whisper. Joel’s eyes flick to yours in surprise, clearly not having expected you to speak just yet.

“You make me crazy, precious girl. Jus’ want you all to m’self, it makes me feel out of my god damn mind. When you disobeyed me, didn’t trust me to… tell me what you were feelin’ I got so fuckin’…” He sucks in a calming breath. “It don’t matter. M’point is I need you to trust me, trust your daddy, tell him what you are feelin’, what you want, even if you’re worried ‘bout if I’m upset about it. That’s an order, mkay?”

You chew the inside of your lip as you listen, and then sniffle, your tears finally subsiding. “I don’t w-want you to hurt me if I tell you s-something…” you admit to him.

He breathes out a sigh, flipping his hand to use the back of it to stroke your puffy, tear soaked cheeks. “I- I know I ain’t given you a reason to think I wouldn’t. But honey, look at me.” He pauses, angling your face towards him. You meet his eyes but it's painful right now to be searching for comfort there when you know you’ll begrudgingly find it.

“I won’t hurt you,” Joel says with conviction. “I’m takin’ care of you. If it hurts, it’s ‘cause it’s meant to help you. I’ve told ya that sometimes daddy will have to do that. Sometimes… I need to be hard on you ‘cause I care so much. But tell you what…” he pauses, a hand stroking the back of your hair, down to your neck, sweaty and damp. “We’ll come up w’ some punishments for when you’re not behavin’ for me together, that way daddy doesn’t lose control again, how about that?”

You nod in a shallow dip of your head and wait for him to go on. Your mind is so exhausted you can barely think or even process his words right now, let alone respond. The thought of coming up with your own punishments is just too much to bear right now.

“Good girl,” he says softly, his eyes boring into you, trying to get a read on your current thoughts. “I know daddy could do better, jus’ like you could do better to be a good girl. That make sense?”

Another nod. You feel defeated, the fact that you can’t seem to be the good girl he’s looking for starts to weigh heavier on you. It seems like you’ve done nothing but anger him and disappoint him, your mind starting to block out any of the positive moments from the last few days, spiraling as you focus on all the negative. Your body sags, your mind finally agreeing that the immediate threat Joel had posed seems to be over. You try to hold back the tears that want to spill out with the comedown and the assault of your racing thoughts on your psyche.

“Sweetheart,” Joel insists, feeling how you’ve gone slack in his hold, your eyes glassy and far away. He nudges underneath your chin again, being careful to stay gentle with you, tilting you to look up towards his searching eyes another time.

“You…” you manage to whimper out, trying to not allow fear to hold you back. “You…” you try again, your voice angrier this time. You want to yell and kick and scream, throw Joel off of you and give him a piece of your mind, tell him to get the hell away from you. The comedown from your fear is leaving you angry with regret coursing through you, finding you wish you’d never even put your hand on your stupid leg at the table, that none of this had happened. You start to cry again instead of unleashing your anger, cursing yourself as you twist your head away in shame.

He hugs you close and you fight the urge to throw your arms around him and let his huge, broad body cover yours and soothe you until it all feels better, just like you know he’s capable of. You know you’re only fighting the inevitable, your fists clenching and unclenching where they hang down, itching to feel his warmth. You let go, your spirit exhausted, and slowly slink your arms around his middle, feeling the muscles on his back move when he goes to hold you tighter.

“That’s it, that’s my girl…” he soothes, rubbing your back. “Hold on t’me.”

You sniffle into his chest, a few stray tears falling, but finding that you do feel a bit better now that you’ve let him comfort you. You do want to trust him and what he says. Joel is your best chance at survival right now, and considering he doesn’t seem intent on letting you go, it’s your only chance. If his rules are that you’re punished when you’re bad, you’re the one agreeing to them, aren’t you? Some part deep inside of you doesn't mind the idea of him putting you back in your place if you’ve broken his rules or upset him, but tonight was different. He was unhinged, someone you barely recognize, the worst you’d ever seen Joel - even more angry than when you’d tried to run from him. He said he didn’t want it to happen again, and maybe you were stupid for believing him, but you did.

“Now, baby, will you trust me?” Joel says into your sniffling silence. “I wanna show you somethin’. Somethin’ you can do to show you trust me, ‘n somethin’ I can do to show how you’re mine, how I’ll take care of you.”

Your heart picks up a little, mind racing with what it could be. You don’t think you have it in you for any more surprises tonight. “Y-yes, daddy,” you murmur, turning your head to blink up at him for a beat.

“Hang on then, princess.” His smile is soft as he gingerly moves your wrists around his neck, draping them around himself. He lifts from your ass, his hands sliding down to settle on your upper thighs. You have no choice but to tuck yourself close and wrap your legs around him for support as he starts to carry you.

He journeys with you up the stairs to the bedroom, setting you down onto your feet in front of the dresser. You cling to him for a moment, and he stops you when you try to pull away with a firm hand on your back.

Joel opens one of the top drawers, pausing for a moment with the tiniest smirk as he looks upon what’s inside, that same drawer you had noticed him having a coy look at earlier. Your curiosity bites at you as you try to peek, but you don’t have to wait much longer before he turns towards you and looks at you with a serious expression.

“Now, sugar, this is somethin’ special I’m gonna give you. Been waitin’ a long time f’this, for a special girl to give this to. Y’understand?”

You give him a hurried nod with your eyes wide and inquisitive. You feel a nervous pull in your stomach, something in that treacherous space between fear and arousal again, and wait for him.

“Good girl. Promise you’ll love it, showin’ daddy jus’ how much you trust him,” he says with a bit more energy back in his voice. You can feel his excitement growing palpably in the room with the two of you, his blunder downstairs seeming to be fading from his mind. He flashes you a quick, sinful smile before he turns away, reaching inside of the drawer. You wait with bated breath as he turns around, gripping something in his hands. He holds it up for you to get a better look, opening his large palms to let it sit flat.

Your mouth is agape as you try to form words, brows furrowing together as you process it, flashing your eyes back and forth from his hands to his face, unable to speak just yet. It hits you right in the gut, sending it twisting and you gasping quietly when you finally realize exactly what he wants to do with the leather piece he holds out for you. For his special girl… his pet.

dividers by @saradika-graphics!

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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so what if I sucked his dick. his knuckles were split and bloody from defending my safety and my honour what else was I supposed to do

#amen #joel miller #the last of us

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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#TRAGIC: vulnerable confused senior gets lost in arctic tundra; no mittens #< prev tag #I'm crying NO MITTENS!!#joel miller hbo #tlou hbo #pedro pascal #the last of us hbo

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

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I'm gonna be so completely honest with y'all. My morals are out the window. I read one chapter about this freaky old man, and I no longer have a backbone. I stand by that perverted, possessive old man. Whatever he wants 🙏🙏🙏

Let's talk about this for a second because, girl, couldn't be me 🤟😁 Not to call myself out, but the second there's teeth against my throat, I lose it a little bit. Being marked up by Joel Miller WOULD, actually, solve a problem or two. MOVING ON!

Yes LAWD 🫡🫡 This is what I've been WAITING FOR!!! Sorry, but possessiveness is hot. And the way HE does it....... let's just say... I've bitten a hole through my drywall about it......

And he's so caring and protective 🩷🎀👉👈💕🫱🕳🫲 sorry-

And he CHAINED her to the FLOOR?! Every single day, I learn something new about myself.....

The way this chapter was domestic but also SO fucking filthy, AHHHHH it was perfect. Please LAWD may I dream of this old man tonight 🙏 😩

smother - part iv: surrender

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: your education continues as joel tests more of your limits. 13.2k words (??? idek how that happened) chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, dubcon - reader is consenting (or lack of saying no) but the syndrome is stockholming so its dubcon, coercion, reader is a virgin, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55), ddlg (no infantilization of reader) daddy dom! joel, fingering, oral (f receiving), dick between the thighs sex but no penetration (lmfao idk what the hell to call that), use of chains to restrain reader, corruption kink, joel is just... not a nice guy even when he is acting sweet, if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: i know this was much longer between chapters than usual, we can thank seasonal depression for that one. and we can thank the same depression that this is a bit less combed through/edited than normal so i hope it turned out okay! thank you all for your patience as i work through this dark time of year, i'll be a bit slower on the next chapter as well but hopefully get it done soon! ❤️

You pick at your fingernails, hands held restlessly in front of your belly as you peer down from the top of the stairs. You’ve waited long enough in the bedroom after tossing and turning for the last hour in the empty bed, Joel long gone downstairs where you’ve been listening to his rustling around as he begins his day. You feel exposed in the light of day without any clothes on, trying to hide as much of yourself as possible as you wrap that same knit blanket from last night around your shoulders.

“U-uh, Jo- sir? Excuse me?” you call out, stumbling along your words with the uncertainty of if they’re correct, if they’ll please Joel. “M-may I come downstairs?”

Joel appears at the bottom of the steps, dressed in a cozy green flannel and gray sweatpants. He looks brighter today, his face full of flushed color and his hair mussed, the few streaks of gray on display in the morning light spilling into the downstairs.

“Hey, sweetheart, ‘course. Come on down,” he says with a gesture of his hand towards the main living room. “Y’can put some clothes on too, ‘s a bit chilly today. We got a little snowfall last night.”

You try your damndest not to narrow your eyes at him and show your suspicion at his positive attitude, afraid he might still have any lingering feelings about last night.

“Actually, left you somethin’ on the dresser, go on and throw that on f’me,” he adds on before turning away and heading out of sight, back to the kitchen. You can hear the sizzle of something on the stove in the distance, smell the aroma of coffee drifting towards you and your mouth waters. You pad back to the bedroom and see the choice of outfit Joel left out for you, and your lips part in shock.

You hold it up and gently run your hands along the delicate fabric - it’s a sheer, white nightgown with lace detailing towards the bottom. He was generous enough to leave you a pair of white panties much like the ones you had on yesterday, but you know even those will be on full display through the thin material. It slides through your fingertips as you tilt your head and inspect it, wondering how it would feel to wear something like this for Joel. Something… sexy.

You realize that by wearing this, showing Joel that you’ll acquiesce to a new whim of his, you’re giving him that next taste of power, another tiny piece of you.

But the soft femininity of the nightgown draws you in, never having owned or even seen anything like it before. You’re sliding it over your head and pulling the cotton panties up your legs before you can think about it any more, then daring to gaze at yourself in the mirror above the dresser.

You look… pretty.

You inspect yourself closer with an inquisitive tilt of your head, taking it all in and smoothing your hands down the sides of where the dress meets you mid-thigh. Your nipples are erect, poking through the gown, nothing there to hide the curves of your breasts and hips - everything on display. You find a soft smile pulling at your lips before you can stop it until your eyes catch on your neck. Your gaze hardens and your face falls while you step closer to the mirror. You stretch your neck to the side, opening up your view to the myriad of red marks, some turned deep purple along with a hard, crusted spot where Joel had drawn blood and let it dry there overnight. The movement sends a pang of soreness through your neck and you delicately touch there, feeling the marks he’d left.

Were they deserved? Had you needed to be punished? You’re not sure anymore, really. Joel has started to show you that the world has only been the small universe you’ve known, one where you were shielded, in a sense, from the world. Sure, you knew about the infected, about dangerous groups of people who wanted to hurt, kill, and steal, but there was so much more. So many nuances, all the little things. Like taking food in the middle of the night from a man’s fridge. Was it a crime punishable by… pain like this?

You avert your eyes from your neck, trying to get back the feeling you’d had when you initially saw yourself in this outfit, running your hand along the scoop neck collar and down your chest. You find yourself wondering if Joel will like it, if it’ll turn out like he’d envisioned when he chose it for you to wear. The thought travels down and settles in your belly - a warm, flourishing feeling.

When you enter the living room, Joel’s eyes are on you from the stove, a lingering, all-consuming gaze while he sweeps his eyes over the entirety of your body.

“Look at you,” he says, a smug smile curling his lips before he lazily pushes his spatula along the pan. “C’mere, princess,” Joel says, and you hesitate for only a moment, deciding to make your way over to him. He immediately wraps an arm around you, keeping the other stirring what you can now see are scrambled eggs in a skillet. Another one crackles on the next burner with nearly done bacon, brown and crispy, the smell alone nearly sending you to your knees.

“Give me a kiss, darlin’,” Joel says, his eyes only showing signs of calm, both heavy-lidded and relaxed. Your lips part in surprise but you don’t move, surprised that he’s treating you so kindly after last night. You’d surely thought maybe he would punish you longer, have something more to say about your late night snacking antics. But he doesn’t, his hand only tightens on your shoulder as a warning, pulling you back to reality. You flutter your lashes and give him a soft smile before tilting your head up and lifting yourself on the balls of your feet to kiss him. His lips press into yours and he groans quietly to himself before pulling back and staring down at you, eyes fixated on where your breasts sit so visibly through your gown.

“Like what I picked out for you?” he asks with a hopeful air, seeming unable to get enough of his current view.

“Oh… yeah, it’s pretty,” you mumble. “Never worn something like this before. Or really seen clothes like this.”

“That so?” Joel asks curiously, glancing back at the eggs, still runny as he stirs them along. “Never owned any pretty things just for yourself?”

“We didn’t… er, we didn’t have clothes like this.” Modest was a word that you’d found used more often than not to describe the necessary clothing for a young woman like yourself. You recalled specific instructions being given out as you overheard the conversation when a small group went out on a supply run, getting some more summer clothing for the community. Modest. The word had stuck out to you, even if you’d never truly understood what it had to do with what any of you wore. You didn’t see the point when all you’d wanted was to just have clothing to wear, anything that made you comfortable. There had been a lot of things you failed to understand in all those days spent with them, and you found yourself missing your group less and less the more time you spent at Joel’s. As oxymoronic as it sounded, things felt free here.

“Huh,” Joel huffs out, giving you a strange look, deep in thought for a moment. “Well, you feel good in it? Feel sexy for me?”

You flush warm and bite the inside of your lip. “Kind of…” you murmur, anxiously fidgeting your hands.

“‘S’okay to feel sexy sometimes, y’know. You look pretty as a picture right now,” he says with a little appreciative click of his tongue, looking you over once more as you . “Alright, sit on down, sweetheart, breakfast is almost ready.”

You quietly sit at the table, observing him while he finishes cooking, watching him season the eggs and pull the bacon off onto plates for the two of you.

“How’d you sleep, pretty girl?” Joel calls over his shoulder. You find yourself unable to answer as memories of last night flood you. Your hands sit folded timidly in your lap, your body rigid. He quirks a brow at your silence, clearly displeased with it as he walks over with a plate for each of you. A sense of dread fills you, your body gearing up for some form of pain he’ll inflict on you for not answering him. He gently sets the plate in front of you, food steaming hot and the aroma having you nearly need to catch your breath as your stomach rumbles.

Joel stands in front of you, tall and towering, searching eyes looking over your uneasy expression. He tips your head up to look at you better, a single finger curling under your chin. You can tell you look just as sullen as you feel, afraid of where this interaction may go, worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.

“Know I was a little rough last night, sweetheart. I got… worried, an’ even a guy like me gets scared sometimes. I thought you’d ran off when you weren’t next to me in bed. Now can you imagine how much that worried me?”

You contemplate it for a moment, putting yourself in his shoes. Waking up in an empty bed expecting the girl who’d happened to try to run from you earlier that day to be there. You understand where Joel made the connection, felt that immediate panic that something precious to him had been lost. You are something precious to him, and for whatever reason that may be, you haven’t quite figured it out yet.

“I- I can, I didn’t even think -“

“I know ya didn’t,” he says gently with an air of understanding. “Just guided by your hungry stomach, weren’t ya? It’s on me for lettin’ you go to bed without dinner, an’ I won’t be letting that happen again.” He speaks more softly, less of a gravel to his Southern twang this way as he strokes the side of your head, petting you lovingly.

You feel a bit of ease wash over you, letting yourself relax a little at his touch. He understands, he didn’t mean to hurt you like that last night. He was just afraid. The thought comforts you and you let out a long breath, then give him a soft, close lipped smile and nod.

“I won’t go looking for any middle of the night snacks again, promise.”

“Good girl,” Joel praises, returning your smile. “Still gonna make it up to ya. Can I hold you for a bit, explain some more? I know it was all a lot, my little sweet girl.” He caresses your cheek, his free hand grasping yours and guiding you up out of your chair. You’re tugged onto him as he sits down, your ass and thighs spread across his lap as he supports your back with his hand and forearm.

“Now,” he starts, his dark eyes finding your still worried, tired ones. “I meant a lot of what I said last night, ‘bout there bein’ things you’ll have to do around here w’me. Bein’ good for me, or havin’ me punish you if you don’t behave. I wanna have a… special kinda relationship with you, sweetheart.” He pauses for a moment to gauge your reaction and you keep your eyes widened and curious, seeking more information in a world that is completely new to you.

“Like… being your girlfriend, or something? That kind of special?” you ask timidly, feeling so embarrassingly and vastly out of the loop once again.

Joel surprises you with a soft chuckle, his chest shaking where you lean against it. “Kind of, darlin’. But it’s more than that. You’re my girl, not a girlfriend. I… would…” he takes a breath, clearly deciding exactly how to word what he wants to say. “You’d… belong to me. Be mine.”

You give a tilt of your head, trying to comprehend his desires for a quiet moment.

“I’ll start simple for you - you call me those three names I mentioned, and I’ll be happy. You remember what they were?”

“D-daddy, sir, and… master…”

You can practically feel Joel’s cock twitch beneath you through his sweatpants and you notice his lips curl up devilishly. “Mhm.” He squeezes your back. “Do you want to call me those things? Does it make you feel good to hear yourself say it?”

“I don’t… know…” you admit. You felt it last night, the entire time Joel had referred to himself that way, the way it made your insides stir, something strange and primal deep inside of you feeling like it was waking up.

“Try it out another time, see how it feels.” He smiles as he waits, his head lolled to the side with a soft grin.

“Um… daddy…” you say quietly, almost cringing at how awkward it feels on your tongue. His brows go up a little, urging you on in an encouraging, non-judgemental way. “I’m… I’m sitting on daddy’s lap…?” You suddenly feel so small, so vulnerable as the words spill out more naturally, finding them sitting comfortably in the room with the two of you.

Joel’s face lights up a bit, his eyes swirling with excitement and pride. “That’s right - you are, princess,” he says, as enthusiastic as you’ve ever heard him. “Good job.”

“It was a little easier that time, b-but I’m not sure if I like it.”

“That’s okay, we’ll work on it,” Joel says, giving your cheek a loving pinch. “You’re gonna love it - love the way it makes you feel to be daddy’s girl, be proud to do everything your daddy wants you to.” He snuggles you closer with excitement as he speaks, clearly lost in thought about the day those words become true.

Your face immediately shows off your apprehension. You just blink contemplatively, and choose your next words carefully. “H-how do you know?” you ask, swallowing the warning lump in your throat that tells you not to question him.

Joel smiles vacantly, but his eyes start to show a hint of care behind them. “I know girls like you. You’re one of the special ones. You’re meant for this, sweetheart. Meant to jus’ be taken care of, meant to… be a good girl. Can tell you’re meant for that, that you crave it. That it gives you a funny feelin’ to think of callin’ me sir or master. Right in here…” Joel says, tracing a teasing finger down your stomach to the waistband of your panties, swirling it on your mound. You feel a flare of anger quickly pulse through you that he’s right, that it does make you feel special, makes your body tingly in the same way it had last night when Joel touched you there.

You simply feel your body flush warm at his speech, wanting to deny it, but finding that you’re not able to, that something about him having you completely disarmed right now.

“I- I don’t know… maybe…”

He shakes his head calmly. “No maybes, sweetheart. I can see it. You want it. It’s okay, nothin’ to be ashamed of, now. Some girls just need a guide, someone to claim ‘em and keep ‘em. Need a master and a daddy to answer to, and that’s jus’ fine and normal that you’re one of ‘em.”

You search the depths of your mind for an answer, to begin to understand how he knows that. How he seems so damn sure of it as he prattles on. Is there some sign? Something that practically screams that you’re that type of girl?

“Why? Why do I need that and other girls don’t?”

“So many questions, baby,” Joel says with another little smile. “You’re jus’ a little lost in life, honey, and I’ve got experience for the both of us. I want to help you.”

“I never had…” you start, biting your lip in trepidation. “Nobody ever tried to help me like this before, really. Not teaching me real things.”

He nods in understanding. “I’ll teach you everythin’ you want honey, but keep you safe. Some things you’re better off lettin’ a man do, so I don’t have to worry about you, mkay?” He thumbs your cheek quickly with a small pinch and you nod for him in response.

“O-okay, yeah,” you say, not necessarily feeling committal about it, but starting to wonder if Joel does have a point. You need what he’s offering - shelter and food - and want all the rest - love, affection, intimacy, and more of however the hell that orgasm worked last night. You definitely want more of that.

“Wh-what else do I need to know?” you ask, feeling a bit more bold. Joel’s look is one of surprise and satisfaction, a glow of pride on his face as he sees you becoming increasingly curious on how to be his perfect little girl.

“First of all, use those names. Always. Call me Joel and we’ll have trouble, unless I tell ya it’s okay. Secondly, what I say goes. You’re here to do as I please, so if you second guess daddy, he’s not going to be very happy, right? I always know what’s right and best for you.”

Your mind spins, trying to create a mental list based on what he’s saying so far. “I- can I… I can’t question it, even if it feels wrong?”

Joel gives you a contemplative look while his eyes harden a bit. “Know it might be hard, but I don’t wanna feel like you don’t trust me or y’don’t think I know how to take care of you. It’ll hurt daddy’s feelings, see? And I don’t wanna have to punish you.”

You cast your eyes down, feeling sullen all over again, your heart starting to beat a more sickly feeling pace inside your chest. What the hell were you getting into, and why did it sound even mildly appealing? Something about his tone, so smooth and caring right now, drew you right in and felt like a soft caress all over your entire body. You feel… held, cared for, looked out for.

“I- I don’t want to be punished, please…” You beg quickly as you wince a little, recalling the previous night of Joel’s relentless, hot mouth all over your neck. He rubs your back in pacifying circles, trying to immediately calm you.

“And you won’t, so long as you’re a good girl. You be a good pet f’me and I shouldn’t need to. But sometimes it’s gonna happen, baby, you’ll talk back or do somethin’ and daddy will have to remind you how to be good.”

“A… pet…” you mumble with furrowed brows, unable to focus on much else he said other than that one word.

“Yes, sugar, my pet,” he replies matter-of-factly. “It’s a thing of love ‘n care, not a bad thing. ‘Cause you’re gonna be obedient, and I’ll take good care of you. Ain’t that right?”

The inside of your cheek starts to feel raw from the way you’ve been chewing on the skin there this entire time, trying to dispel the anxious energy that relentlessly surges through you. You know Joel is expecting an answer, a confirmation, and you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to give it to him. A resounding yes, just to see what it would feel like. To give in and feel your worries melt away, to learn under his hand, to live in this world he’s describing to you.

“Th-that’s right.”

Joel’s eyebrow shoots up even further, and you realize that maybe you’ve surprised more than yourself with the way you’d answered him. That you are finally giving in, opening yourself up a little bit more. Joel just blinks at you a moment, then draws his attention to your neck, reaching up to gingerly touch the marks he’d left there.

“Mm… beautiful…” he says appreciatively, ignoring the way you wince and inhale sharply at the pain. “I know I was rough, but you look so beautiful as mine, all marked up like this. Ain’t a person out there wouldn’t know who you belong to…” Joel muses on, lost in his own world for a moment. When his eyes drift to yours again, he finds them watery, the fearful tears having made their way back.

“‘S’okay, sweetheart.” He moves his fingers from your neck to brush along your hair. “Let’s just eat. Then I’ve got somethin’ to show you.”

Joel kept you in your thin gown, but stuffed you into one of his large winter coats and had you don thick wool socks and your boots before heading outside. He pulled a beanie over your head, looking at you with a look of satisfaction, muttering something about how you should be warm enough now. You wrap the jacket tightly around yourself, the thick, flannel lining a godsend on this particularly cold morning. Joel had been right - a new layer of snow glistened and gleamed in the bright, clear, winter sun.

“Your hand, sweetheart,” Joel commanded, reaching out his own, palm open to you. You reach forward and let his warm hand envelop yours before he trudges along, rounding towards the back of the cabin. You realize you haven’t been back here yet, or even thought much about the yard, never saw it from the windows. You suppose you had been preoccupied the last few days.

Joel leads you to a patch of land free from trees. There are wooden boxes, mostly empty or patchy at best with the promise of growth once the weather changes. You’d recognize this setup anywhere, and you’re taking a moment to process it when Joel speaks first.

“My garden.”

“Y-you have a garden?” you ask, surprised. You hadn’t really seen Joel as the type to tend a garden, to work delicately like this with his hands. Those fists have seen far too many fights, have too many calluses and aches to be thought of as delicate.

“Mhm,” he says. He moves to stand behind you, his hands snaking around your torso and under your jacket, landing on your lower stomach where he threads his fingers together and holds on tightly. You’re pulled against him, your back flush with his chest, and above all the other reasons, you don’t mind one bit as his warmth radiates onto you, keeping your teeth from chattering. “Keeps me provided for in between visits to town. Also trade some of my things I grow here w’ those folks.”

“Hmm,” you murmur, looking out at the expansive garden and the view beyond. It’s beautiful here, breathtaking even. The backyard of the cabin is clear of the surrounding forest, giving way to gorgeous mountain views in the distance. Covered in snow and pines as far as the eye can see, you truly are all alone up here. All alone with Joel.

“You like to garden, sweetheart?” he asks, pressing a kiss to the back of your head.

You shrug but can feel your eyes starting to sparkle the tiniest bit, a life behind them you’d maybe thought was gone. You’ve always loved growing things, especially in your last community, you’d gardened frequently and relished in all the provisions you’d been able to gather for the group. It was one of the few things you'd ever felt accomplished at, and you craved the usefulness of providing from things you had a hand in growing. You had to admit to yourself that the idea of having your own personal garden here didn’t sound like the worst thing.

“Yeah, it’s nice. Always liked growing stuff,” you answer him, throwing him a soft smile over your shoulder. He wraps his arms a little bit tighter and brings his mouth closer to your ear. His stubble brushes your neck and you shudder, flashing back to the way it had felt last night, both the good and the bad. The pleasure and the pain his mouth had given you.

Joel hums pleasantly behind you. “This is all mine, and all yours too. Got everything we need right here. Want ya to help out if you want to, only if you want to. Don’t have to lift a finger if you don’t want, I’m the one takin’ care of you, sugar.”

“N-no…” you murmur quickly. “I like gardening. I don’t want to just… do nothing,” you tell Joel.

“Promise y’won’t be doin’ nothin’. Be busy bein’ my perfect little pet,” he teases, his fingers flirting with the waistband of your panties through the thin dress. You shudder as your skin tingles there, your body suddenly hot despite the way the cold air has been biting at you since you’d stepped outside. You can feel that he’s getting hard behind you, pressing his hips right into your ass as his fingers start to gather your dress up from the bottom enough to slip his hand underneath. He runs up your thigh, burying his hand between your legs and cupping your sex, letting out a sigh. His other hand stays firmly on your stomach, keeping you pressed to him.

“Oh,” he tuts, his hand feeling that you’re already obviously damp. “Jus’ bein’ around me makes you wet, does it? Can’t help but remember how daddy took care of you last night? Want some more, my little pet?”

Your eyes squeeze shut for a moment when his fingers deftly work in soft strokes, trying to break you down, make you answer him. They travel up your clothed slit, relishing in how you already start to weep for him at just the slightest touch.

“I know you do, tell daddy you wanna feel good, c‘mon.”

Your breathing quickens as he shows no sign of letting up. His fingers start to push the fabric aside, burying themselves underneath your panties and getting his calloused pads right onto your clit. You sigh, that heavenly sense of warmth you’d been craving again already spreading from where he’s touching.

“Yes,” you whisper quietly, your head falling back the slightest bit. “I do…”

“Say it loud, daddy needs to hear you.”

“Want… to feel good…” Your breathing hitches as he puts more pressure, circling your now throbbing clit.

“Who do you want to make you feel good?” Joel asks impatiently, his voice still keeping its usual control as he speaks into your ear.

“Daddy…” you breathe out, back arching, sending your ass rutting into his hard cock.

“Fuck,” Joel mumbles under his breath. “That’s right. And daddy is the only one who can make you feel good, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you say, eyes rolling back as he rubs on your sensitive bundle of nerves a little faster. A tiny whimper slips out as Joel slips his fingers down through your slickness and then back to your clit, and you feel all the warmth you’re pouring out for him. You’d say anything he wanted you to in the moment when everything he does feels this incredible. You don’t know how he does it, fills you up with that tingling sensation so quickly, pulling taut and pleasant in your core. “You are.”

Joel uses his free hand to spin you around to face him, his other hand tugging your underwear down in a sudden urgency. His eyes have changed their shade, ferocious and primitive as he licks his lips. His body slinks down in front of you, getting onto his knees, the only sounds in the still winter air are his legs crunching into the snow along with both of your panting breaths.

He groans out a hungry sound, finishing shimmying your underwear down your legs, letting them pool at your ankles, stretched wide by your stance and your heavy, lace-up boots. His head is under your nightgown in an instant, the view from your angle just his dark curls pressing against the sheer fabric, the only thing you can feel is his hot, needy breath puffing against your bare cunt.

“J- What’re you doing? We- we’re outside…”

You hear a small sound of annoyance from under your chemise. “Nobody around to see us, darlin’, ‘n I told you not to question me, didn’t I? Know you’re learnin’, but your first lesson is that I’ll take you whenever I damn well please. Now daddy’s hungry, sugar, he wants to taste you and you’re gonna let him,” Joel snips, glaring up at you, his face thinly veiled but you can see the displeasure in his tightly drawn expression, lines more on display when he’s irritated like this.

“You’re going to… down there?” you ask in shock, realizing his mouth is so close to your most intimate area, that he was about to… put it there. Your lips sit parted in equal surprise and anticipation, his breath alone tickling along your wetness and sending you shuddering already.

Joel laughs, a hand wrapping around the back of your thigh and squeezing. “God,” he chuckles, “Can’t believe you’ve never had your pretty little pussy eaten before, sweet girl. What a fuckin’ treat f’me.” He shakes his head in disbelief. “Jus’ enjoy… let me make you feel good, let me show you…” Joel murmurs, turning his face back down and pressing it between your legs, his nose nudging right into your folds. You gasp a little, body stiff and tightening up in shock.

“Shh, be a good girl and open these legs f’me,” he coos, physically pushing on your thigh, sending you stumbling a little, your stance widening. Joel dives in immediately, licking a fat stripe up your cunt, and you choke on air, a loud gasp echoing off into the trees.

“Oh my god.” You start to pant as Joel’s tongue works on you, the tip of it working slow ministrations through your slit before he starts to move more eagerly, lapping at you with the sounds of a ravenous man. His hands grip tight to the backs of your thighs now, squeezing tightly, tight enough to bruise, you think, as he pulls your hips into his mouth.

“Thas’ it, princess, gimme all those nasty little juices, god, you’re fuckin’ soaked,” Joel says between your thighs, licking and sucking deeper into your folds, the noises so lewd and filthy that it turns you on even more. It all feels so wrong to hear them, to feel the things you’re feeling with this man.

The warmth of his mouth mixed with the cold air that breezes through your open jacket, right to where Joel relentlessly fucks you with his tongue sends your nipples hardening against your dress. You feel like you’re going insane - your body hot and cold, sweat breaking out and instantly drying, your knees starting to shake as pleasure rocks through you.

“I- I can’t- stand… it’s too…” you cry out through your moans and whimpers. Joel’s hold only tightens, his shoulders start to press against your knees, letting them buckle slightly on top of his broad form.

“Soak my fuckin’ face, c’mon, and say my name, say my fuckin’ name,” Joel blurts out, feeling how tense and tight you are, feeling how you’re falling apart by the second, so close to giving it all to him. He sucks hard on your clit, sending you yelling out, the hot coil inside of you unfurling in a powerful snap, your body collapsing downwards, digging your knees into Joel’s shoulders as your moans turn into a pathetic, keening sound, loud and sharp.

“Ohhhhh…” you cry out, “Daaaaaddy, please, daddy…” You find your mind blinded by the pleasure, his new title tumbling from your lips without a second thought. Joel grunts his loud approval, rocking your hips into his face as you ride out your high. Your obscene moans and cries continue to echo off, giving them a strange power in the vastness of the wilderness, only serving to urge you on. Your body shakes and sweats as you reach your highest high, vision white and limbs tingling while you relish in every millisecond of it.

Your entire body slumps a moment later, Joel’s face pulling away just enough to let you stumble into the snow, knees hitting the cold powder and bringing you back to reality as much as is possible in your current state. You gulp in air as you come down, and Joel’s arms immediately wrap around you, pulling your bare knees off the cold earth and onto his lap.

“There we go, there we go… that was real good, sweetheart,” Joel praises as he holds you, letting you close your eyes for a moment and steady your thundering heartbeat. You rest your head on his shoulder until you’ve gained a grip on your surroundings, slowly opening your eyes and looking at Joel. His face shows pride above all else as he smiles at you before his lips find your chilled cheek and plant a kiss there.

“Such a naughty girl for me, ain’t you?” he teases, gripping the back of your neck with his hand, wrapping his fingers around it possessively, squeezing just enough to remind you who’s in control.

“What? I- was I?” you ask hurriedly, eyes going a little wide with concern. Was that a good thing? Was it how loud you were? Was it something you did wrong?

Joel huffs a little laugh as he reads your spiraling panic and squeezes the back of your neck. “Jus’ teasin’ you, darlin’. But you should be naughty, only f’me though. A girl who’s naughty when we’re alone like this, but a good, sweet girl ‘round everyone else.”

Another lesson. Another mental note to add to the list of things you need to do to stay in Joel’s favor. You pray this comes easier to you than you think it might, that you can avoid his wrath, that you can… be good for him. You find yourself caught by the thought, realizing that it’s exactly what he wants from you, everything he’s been asking of you.

You simply nod and give him the first quick and agreeable answer that pops into your mind. “Yes… sir.”

“Christ are you learnin’ quick…” Joel marvels. “Good girl.” He shifts and helps you to your feet, drawing you close again, like he can’t stand to have even a few inches of space between the two of you. He dusts the snow off of you and pulls your panties back up, settling them snugly on your waist again.

“Now, you ready to see the stable?”

“Stable?!” you blurt out, eyes dancing suddenly with excitement. “You have a horse?”

Joel grins more sweetly at you, loving the innocent pleasure you find in the little things. “‘Course. How else ‘m I supposed to get there and back from town? Come ‘n see for yourself,” he says, grabbing your hand again and leading you to a wooden structure along the outskirts of the property, but not far from the garden. It’s tucked away, and you hadn’t quite noticed it at first, too busy taking in all the possibilities the garden had held for you. He brings you inside and you hear the immediate quiet but unmistakable whinnies of a horse.

“Oh, she’s gorgeous…” you exclaim quietly as you lay your eyes on a mostly white horse, speckled with gray-ish brown patches and spots. Her maine is a dirty cream color, and she looks at you with her dark, beady eyes as you approach. She gives off a gentle but powerful energy, something you’ve always loved about horses ever since you could remember. You walk a few more steps into the barn, approaching her with reverence and caution.

Joel hands back, standing with his arms crossed, observing you. “This is Willow,” he tells you.

“Can I - er, touch her?” you ask shyly, looking over your shoulder at Joel as you ask him. Your hands itch with the urge to reach forward towards the gorgeous mare.

“‘Course. She’s all yours now, too, princess. Thought you might like helpin’ take care of her.”

“Really?” you ask, immediately regretting showing him such a sliver of your excitement, but you’re unable to hold back as your hand reaches out for Willow and gives her a testing pat on the side of her neck, running your hands in strokes as soon as she responds well to it. She’s a sweet girl, you can see, a gentle horse, and you can’t help but think that it seems to be the perfect companion for Joel’s travels based on what he wants from you.

Willow’s mouth tickles along your hand when you bring it close and you let out a giggle. “She’s real sweet,” you say, peering over at Joel. He gives an affirming mhm and nods, keeping his eyes on you with that soft smile he only seems to have when he’s watching you like this. It’s a look of half wonder and half greediness, the hint of hunger behind the smile always unsettling you the tiniest bit even in a nice moment.

“We’ll take her for a ride together another day, when it warms up a bit,” Joel tells you, stepping over to give Willow a pat with you. The horse cozies up to Joel’s hand, showing her long built up trust for him and his care.

You can’t help but picture yourself, one day hopefully having that same level of trust for Joel, snuggling up to him without a care in the world, letting him fulfill his promise to take care of you. You envy Willow so much in this moment, so unaware of the inner turmoil you’ve been facing, the push and pull to trust in this hand the universe dealt you.

“Let’s head back, don’t want y’to catch cold, sweetheart,” Joel says, interrupting the way you’re thoughtfully petting along Willow’s neck. You look at him and nod, letting him take your hand for the third time now, letting him be exactly what he wants for that moment - your protector and your guide.

“Got to talk to you about somethin’, princess,” Joel says once you two are back inside. He’s got you unrobed back down to just your gown, telling you to leave the thick socks on while you warm up. He tosses a few fresh logs into the wood burning fireplace and then sits you down on the couch next to him, tightly gripping your hands in between his.

“I’ve got to go out huntin’ today. Normally wouldn’t want to leave you so soon, but I’d planned on it ‘fore you even blessed me by showin’ up.” The heavy pause he leaves in the wake of his explanation has your stomach starting to sink.

“Way I see it, is I got two options here. Cause one of ‘em ain’t you comin’ with me. It’s too dangerous out there, and my sweet girl still needs her rest after all you been through. Either gonna leave you to it, trustin’ you enough that you won’t try’n sneak off while I’m gone, which…” He takes a deep breath. “If I’m honest with ya, sweetheart, I don’t. Not yet, at least.”

“N-n-no… you c-can! I won-” you spout off quickly, and Joel squeezes your hands before bringing a finger to your lips, cutting you off.

“Don’t interrupt me when I’m speakin’, now, have some manners,” Joel says sternly, tapping your cheek twice before bringing his hand down to your thigh. You sit frozen by his tone now, feeling your body wanting to tremble at the flash of darkness in his eyes.

“The other option is I’ve got a special setup for my girl to keep her safe and sound while I’m gone.” He starts to smile, lips spreading into a devious grin, sending your heart bottoming out into your stomach. You sit completely stiff with fear as he slides off the couch and pads over to a nearby closet behind the couch. He rummages for only a moment before you hear the clink of metal on metal as he walks back over holding what he’s feeling so smug about.

A chain. You start to feel dizzy, your brain suddenly feeling stuffed full of fuzz as you shake your head in protest.

“No… no… you don’t have to… Jo- daddy, please…” You cry out the words, feeling bile rising up in your stomach. Did he really think he was going to chain you up for hours while he was out hunting? Did he actually think that was a good way to keep you safe?

“My sweet princess,” Joel coos, swiping the back of his knuckles along your cheek in a loving manner. You flinch and he clicks his tongue at your sudden unwillingness and disobedience. “It’s not a punishment. You haven’t done anythin’ wrong. Just can’t take the risk now that I’ve got you, honey. Think of it this way - this is for your own good. Can’t have you gettin’ any ideas while I’m gone and makin’ a choice you’ll regret, like runnin’ off from here, yeah?”

You shake your head again, tears pricking at your eyes and starting to fall rapidly. ��I… please… you don’t have to.”

“Baby, baby, baby…” Joel says softly, bending down to bring himself to eye level with you. “I do, though. You know I do.”

You feel yourself losing resistance, a tiredness sweeping over your body, one that runs deep to your bones. You bow your head away from Joel’s gaze, holding your wrists out in front of you in a sign of submission, as if to say slap the handcuffs on already. Before you lose any more of your dignity, before you lose your entire mind. Joel chuckles, and you flash your eyes up to him, a surly gaze from underneath your eyebrows.

“Not gonna handcuff you, darlin’. That wouldn’t be very comfortable, would it?” he says, sounding too jovial for the current situation. He slowly pushes your wrists back down to your lap. “No, no, none of that.”

You just blink, waiting for him to go on. He pulls to the end of the chain and holds up a singular cuff, black leather with a lock on it. “Your ankle, sweets. Not gonna leave you unable to do what y’need to do.”

The sight of the ankle cuff makes you sick all over again, a sob bursting out of you as your chest heaves and body shakes a little with it. “Please…”

“Now, I’m not gonna have you keep questionin’ me. We both know why I’m doin’ this, and when you fight me, makes me want to trust even less that I can leave the house without you chained to the damn floor. Don’t you think?” He sighs out a staccato breath in irritation, running a tired hand through his beard. “Maybe you should be grateful daddy ain’t makin’ you come out to trudge through the cold with infected ‘n worse out there jus’ to put dinner on the damn table for us.” His hand wraps around the back of your head and threads tightly through your hair, tugging hard. He brings his face close, smashing his nose into yours with a tame snarl, but a snarl nonetheless. “You know it’s for the best, don’t you? That I don’t wanna hurt you?”

You close your eyes for a moment, the last of your tears sliding by before you nod. “I know…” you mumble. And you do know. You know that Joel is all about protection, no matter what it takes, no matter the cost. He will keep what’s his, he will cover it with his own life and protect it. You are that to him now, what he has to pour this innate ability he has into.

“I know, who?”

“I know… master…” You feel your pulse in every nook and cranny of your body, the thumping leading right between your legs where Joel’s face had been buried not even an hour before. You’d let him do that again right now if he was willing, the thought of belonging to your master sending a little throb to your clit that you wanted to deny so badly, but couldn’t. You found yourself turned on despite your tears, despite the emotional and physical pain you were being subjected to right now. You’d still let Joel have his way with you, chained to the floor, chained to anywhere in this house. The realization makes you sick, biting back a gag that instantly swallows down into desire, your thighs clenching to try to hide the way you weep for him right now.

The relieved whoosh of air out of Joel’s mouth hits you and he tugs your head back, staring at you with a satisfied glow to his face now. “That’s a good girl, knew you’d see it like I do. Now, I gotta get movin’, so up we go.”

He tugs you onto your feet, bending down to strap the leather cuff around your ankle now, and you look down to see him locking it in place, a tiny key in his hand that you can only assume he’ll be taking along with him.

“Not too tight?” he asks, and you shake your head.

“Words, please, darlin’,” he chastises you, tugging on the cuff to test it without glancing up at you.

“N-no, sir.”

“Good. Now jus’ got to bolt it in over here, ‘n you’re all set,” Joel explains, walking across the living room to a spot next to the television stand you hadn’t even noticed before. There’s a small metal outcropping, just a simple loop that’s built into the floor, something you’d likely miss if you weren’t looking for it. Joel clips and locks the other end of the chain into it, fastened with the same key that locks your cuff. He slips the tiny key into his pocket and pats the spot in his pants, looking up to smile at you.

“Safe and sound,” he says, and you assume he’s referring to both you and the key. You feel such indescribable, raw emotions coursing through you right now as you take a step and feel the heaviness of the chain, hear the clink of it along the floor while you start to move, tracking Joel as he begins to flit around the room.

“Now, ‘s long enough to reach the little bathroom down here, and the kitchen. So you’ll be able to do everythin’ you need while I’m gone.” Joel speaks to you as he throws his coat and boots on before going back to that same closet and pulling out a bow and arrow. He sets it by the door next to his rifle and backpack, completing his hunting setup.

“Shouldn’t be too long, but y’know how huntin’ goes.” He speaks so casually, like he’s forgotten just what he did to you moments ago. But you figure this gave him a sense of calm, knowing you can’t leave him behind now, even if you wanted to. He steps into the kitchen and you slink over his way, wincing at the metallic noise you make in your wake. He pulls a glass out from the cabinetry and fills it with water, then opens another cabinet with stores of food. He sets a mason jar with what looks like strips of jerky in it on the table along with the glass and looks to you with his hands folded across his chest.

“Only have two rules while I’m gone, nice ‘n easy for you.” He steps closer, starting to close the gap between the two of you. “One. You drink this water while I’m gone, eat some of this. Gotta take care of yourself.”

“O-okay,” you reply with a nod, thinking it sounds easy enough. Joel is right in front of you now, hovering above as he slips a possessive, tight hand around your waist.

“An’ two… You’re on your knees when I get back. On your knees to welcome me home, welcome daddy back.” His haughty smile makes you ache in places you hadn’t even realized existed deep inside of you, the surety he has behind that grin that you’ll do exactly as he’s asking.

You simply stare back at him with pouting, parted lips, not sure how Joel continues to surprise you with his requests and rules at this point. It isn’t a difficult rule to follow, no, but it seems to serve to strip away a tiny bit more of your dignity, something already hanging on by a thread.

“Got it?” Joel asks, leaning closer as a hand plants itself along your cheek.

“Yes,” you say, swallowing hard. “Yes, daddy,” you add, quickly correcting yourself.

“That’s a good girl,” Joel says pleasantly with a softer smile. “Now I’ll need a big ol’ kiss to keep me goin’ out there, so c’mere.” Joel pulls you in, warmth against warmth as he tucks his head down and captures your lips. His kiss is greedy and lustful as his tongue delves into your mouth. He groans and licks along your lower lip, sending you groaning as well. Your arms reach up slowly and touch his waist, wanting to feel closer to him. Something about the way Joel kisses you makes you

Your tongue mimics Joel’s, lapping into his mouth with more precision than you’d had last night, slowly feeling your way along his tongue with yours as you two kiss over and over again, open mouthed and needy. Joel tears himself back, panting with dark eyes boring into you. His hands are squeezing tightly onto you, unable to let you go just yet.

“Fuck,” he grunts, “Can’t wait to get back t’you.”

Joel is going insane. Not like it was news to him, but he can barely focus as his feet pound down into the snow with each of his steps, his bow and arrow held in both hands as he trudges along. Two misses already, two fuck ups, completely his own fault as both rabbits he’d spotted got away from him. Shit aim and shit focus seemed to be following him today, and he knew the reason why. You. Just the simple thought of you, standing with a subtle pout on your perfect lips as he’d closed the door behind him, taking one last look at the way his cuff latched onto your ankle was making him feel almost too much. Like a man unhinged, willing to do anything to keep his prize.

Knowing that you were waiting safe and sound, bound to the floor of his cabin both set him both at ease and ablaze with the dirty, depraved thoughts soon outweighing the sweeter ones. He pictures how you’ll look when he gets back - on your knees for him, wearing nothing but the see through fabric calling itself a dress. He nearly snorts to himself as he thinks it, how easy it was to get you to wear it this morning, how you’d seemed to enjoy wearing something sexy. He knew he had to find more, dress you up in every similar style he could find, never tiring of the task.

Joel’s cock is becoming painfully hard now, finding in his mind your innocent little face dressed in the sexiest outfits, spread out willingly on his bed, maybe chained up for good measure anyways. Just because he can. Because you’d do it, and try to ignore the way it made you feel deep inside to have a man like Joel doing it to you. He smirks to himself as he comes across one of his traps, saying silent praises to himself that he’d set these up in the woods surrounding his cabin. He takes out the poor rabbit that had met its end in the trap and resets it before moving on.

He has to focus. One rabbit was good for another round of stew tonight, maybe, but you deserved everything. You deserved a man bringing you home an entire deer, a feast to be had after he made you come so hard you saw stars. After he treats you like the princess you are and makes you feel so good and safe in his arms. Then he’d cook for you, filling your belly and getting you strong again, making you trust him even more. His mind is clawing at him with the thoughts, a renewed sense of purpose and focus as the daydreams invade his mind and swarm around completely unchecked.

You could be his purpose, his reason to fight this hard for food and all the nice things that this shit world still had to offer. He’d do it for you. Everything for you.

He’s managed to pass the time with thought after thought of you, finally landing a deer on top of the rabbit he’d found in the trap, dragging them both back with him to start doing the dressing and bring home his prizes to you. Where you waited for him. Chained up, likely anticipating him with baited breath, not knowing what awaited you when he arrived home. He liked keeping you on your toes for now, making you understand who calls the shots, who needs to be obeyed. Until you did it completely on your own, which Joel felt a surge of confidence flow through him knowing that someday you would. That day felt sooner than he’d expected, the way you’d already seemed to be caving to his whims, calling him his special names. It made his heart beat a little quicker, soar with an unexpected lightness and care.

He hums pleasantly to himself as he dresses the deer in another smaller shed he’d constructed in a spot near where the cabin’s yard met the woods. He found it best to keep the more dirty parts of hunting separate from home, and he smiles to himself to think you’d likely appreciate that too.

He can see the cabin now in the near distance, smoke coming out of the chimney, warm and inviting. Home. A place he hadn’t always referred to as such, but now with you there, with someone to come home to, it felt much more like it.

Joel’s boots thump up the steps, knocking snow off of them as he goes. You hear the noise from inside, your heart suddenly racing at his approach. You glance around, as if you’ve left something askew that he might notice and chastise you for when he comes in. You rush as close as you can to the door, making sure you’re in sight before you sink to your knees as the doorknob turns. You cast your eyes downward in a split decision hunch that Joel would prefer that, and his haughty huff of breath sounds pleased at the sight as he enters. Relief floods you before you hear his booming voice.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Let me see those pretty eyes.”

When you look up, the sight of Joel is surprisingly a welcome one to you. He looks a bit windswept as he shuts the front door behind him, his cheeks and nose colored a bit rosier from the cold air, his graying hair a little less tame than usual. You smile genuinely at him before you can realize it, and he returns the look with a cocked eyebrow. He’s stopped in the doorway, further away from where you can reach, practically already pushing the chain to its limit with where you’re kneeled right now.

You pray silently to yourself that he’s noticed everything - how you drank the entire glass of water and ate just as he’d requested, how you’ve fallen to the floor so quickly that your knees already ache. He doesn’t need to know that you’d pulled and yanked the chain for a good thirty minutes after he’d left, testing its endurance until you’d exhausted yourself. You can see him taking in those details, his lip twitching upwards when he sees the evidence of your obedience on the kitchen table.

“Crawl to me, baby, ‘n say hello,” he finally says after a few tense, silent beats.

You falter for a quick moment before placing your hands on the floor and crawling. The chain goes taut after only a few paces, tugging you back by your ankle. You pause and glance at him with pleading eyes, but Joel just remains standing in the same spot with his arms folded.

“Keep tryin’, daddy wants to see how bad you want to greet him,” he says smugly, tucking his arms across his chest a little tighter. You pull forward, the chain rattling and straining as you scratch your fingers along the floor, trying to wrench yourself forward even a tiny bit more to do as he’s asking. You’re practically laying on the floor now, writhing forward and stretching yourself out to show him how close you can get. It makes you feel completely demeaned, the way Joel continues to watch you expectantly and then lets out a chuckle at your wasted efforts. “Desperate looks good on you, darlin’,” he says coldly before taking the steps forward to reach your outstretched hands.

Joel then surprises you by crouching down, knees popping on the way before he’s squatting in front of you. His fingers tilt your head up by the chin before he leans in to kiss you. You catch the smell of the cold air on him mixed with his heady, manly musk and the unmistakable scent of hunting, of blood and death. You notice his fingers are dirty, speckled with blood as they wrap around your face and bring you in to kiss him. He hums pleasantly into your mouth before noticing your hesitation.

“I know, daddy’s all dirty, ain’t he. Should get cleaned up ‘fore I do all the things I wanna do to you,” Joel says, leaning his forehead on yours.

“T-thank you,” you murmur, for a reason unbeknownst to yourself. You’re thanking him for showering for you, for allowing you to sit on your knees in front of him, begging for attention like a dog who is tired of its leash. And yet, the words came out naturally, like you owed them to him.

“Let’s conserve water today, y’can hop in with me,” he says airily with a wink, fishing in his pocket for the key to your freedom before moving behind you and unlocking the ankle cuff. It comes free and you feel a rush of air enter you, like you’d been holding your breath this entire time, just seeing if you could make it through this test in one piece. You feel your entire body sag a little bit in response, your hands planted firmly on the floor as you stay on all fours.

“Thank you,” you say again, just as quiet and mousy, making sure he sees your appreciation for taking the cuff off, for keeping you safe while he was gone. Joel steps in front of your view again, looking down on you from his towering position.

“This ol' setup knocked some manners into you, I see. Polite little princess,” Joel teases with a humored raise of his eyebrows. “No funny business while I was gone?”

You shake your head, hoping it wasn’t too quickly to raise suspicion. “No sir,” you reply, thinking about the fact that Joel doesn’t need to know you were too scared to even try screaming. You were desperate for it, desperate to let some of this pent up emotion out of your system. But you had no idea how far he’d gone, how much the sound may travel, and had instead settled on whimpering quietly to yourself the minute he’d left the cabin.

Joel helps lift you to your feet, cradling you against his chest for a moment. “Get a reward for how good you were today.” He smiles, stepping away to the freezer to deposit his spoils before grabbing your hand and leading you upstairs. You trail behind mindlessly, in a fog as Joel starts the shower, commands you to lift your arms and slips your dress over your head, then gets to work on your panties before stripping himself down.

You try not to stare, to take in his fully naked form in much better light than you’d seen it last night. Joel notices your curious, roaming eyes but doesn’t say anything as he gets into the tub.

You step into the shower behind him, steam from the hot water surrounding the two of you in little clouds. Joel has a contented yet unfulfilled look on his face as he turns you to put you under the steaming water. His eyes take it all in - the droplets falling down your soft skin, the way your bare flesh looks so plump and inviting already in the heat of the water. Your body flourishes with need when your bodies start to mold together when he pulls himself close, his quickly hardening cock pressing against your thigh.

Joel smiles before pulling back a bit, reaching around you for a bar of soap and washcloth that hang below the shower head. He smirks as he sees how he’s left you breathless and wanting already while he lathers up the washcloth.

“Gotta be a good girl and wash up first,” Joel says smoothly, his voice a deep rumble above the sounds of the water hitting the tub. You half expect him to hand you the washcloth now, but Joel reaches forward and starts to make suds along your shoulders and chest. You gasp when he runs the cloth down over your breasts, moving tantalizingly slow as he makes his way over each one, swirling movements while the fabric grazes your nipples. His movements are delicate and calculated, and when he reaches your neck, he’s gentle and caring while he carefully rinses off the dried blood still staining your skin from last night. He frowns when you wince, your flesh sore and aching when he touches it. He leans down towards your neck and your body visibly tenses with fear, eyes squeezing shut and bracing yourself for impact.

“Shh, wanna show you I can be gentle,” Joel says quietly, reaching around you to rub your back. He brushes his lips over an unmarked patch before kissing it. His lips move so softly, his tongue poking out the tiniest bit to lick at your skin in between his kisses. “See?” he adds on, moving the washcloth down your body as he continues to soothe your hurts and heal that fear from last night, never letting his lips go past the most gentle sucking.

You feel your body starting to respond to him, melting as he sends your skin burning and tingling from your neck downwards. He dips the washcloth to your thighs, rubbing around to your ass where he lands a soft slap to one of the cheeks, making you giggle quietly in delight. You can feel Joel smile against your skin at such an unexpected reaction from you.

“Oh yeah? You like that, princess? Daddy turnin’ you on again?” Your head falls back a little bit towards the water and you nod. He grips one of the globes of your ass and squeezes before another soft smack hits it and Joel relishes in the way your plush skin jiggles for him.

“Perfect ass,” he says with another smirk against your neck. Your hips press forward as he continues to massage your asscheeks, your body unconsciously seeking what’s between his legs. It drives you forward, seeming to know better than you do what you need to help the pulsing throb in the core of your body.

“Almost done, be a good girl and control yourself a little longer, yeah?” Joel says as he notices the way your body squirms towards him, the hooded look in your eye as you become more mesmerized by his movements. Joel sinks down in front of you, cleaning your legs in long strokes, his free hand anchored on your thigh but moving slowly inward before it slides between your legs.

You let out a soft mewl when his finger finds your folds, hips bearing down into the touch a little bit. Joel just continues on, cleaning your legs and feet, taking extra time to practically worship them as his fingers continue to pleasure you, rubbing your clit in slow, lazy circles. You’re losing yourself again, that feeling from last night, from outside earlier today, the one you can’t ignore when you give your body over to Joel. It happens slowly and then all at once, a slow fade until you slip away, ready to let him do anything to help you reach that beautiful explosion of pleasure you found yourself learning more about each time.

“P-please…” you whisper quietly, needing more, feeling the achingly beautiful build up starting to pull at your core. Joel stands up, not missing a beat with his hand as he coaxes your pleasure out of you.

“Ask nicely, little one, use your words,” Joel says smugly, and you could swear he moves his fingers even slower just to spite you. Your breathing sounds shaky when you inhale, trying to get air and focus your mind.

“Please, daddy…” you whine, “Make me feel good.” Your voice hardly sounds your own, and you fight the urge to shove Joel away and run again, hoping to escape whoever the hell he’s turning you into. But his hand grips your shoulder and turns you, pushing your back into the wall of the shower before he crowds you, making you forget the thought completely.

“Daddy’s here, princess,” Joel coos, bringing his face to yours and kissing you. “He’s gonna make you feel good.”

Joel comes even closer, and you feel his cock slip between your legs, replacing his hand, and your breath shudders, mouth popping open in a half forgotten gasp. You feel the thick head of him sliding over your clit, and you stare at him wide eyed and overwhelmed already. His entire length follows, gliding through your slit, nestling perfectly between your thighs before he pulls back in an unhurried movement, keeping a close eye on your reaction to his every move. He’s mesmerized, watching your eyes start to flutter when he slides back in, then out again, your pussy slickening in anticipation for him. You feel your tiny hole fluttering, clenching around nothing, and the feeling intrigues you more than anything, the thought that your body knows and wants Joel there.

You stutter on your words, wanting to tell him it feels good, that he’s so unexpectedly big between your legs and it’s making you want to lose your mind. You know you felt it in your hand last night, but this was different, feeling the fullness of him in your most sensitive spots, a spot you’d been wondering how any of it was going to fit when the time came. If this was it, then you were glad it wasn’t as much as you’d expected, that it only felt good.

“Look at ya, can’t even speak cause daddy’s cock got your tongue tied,” Joel clicks his tongue and shakes his head playfully as he moves in and out from between your thighs once again.

“I- this - is this, you know?” you ask, knowing that it can’t be that simple, that you’re about to be shown just how frustratingly innocent you are again.

Joel chuckles, throwing his head back a little. You watch his body ripple with the laughter, admiring his solid chest for a moment when your eyes drift down.

“Close,” he says sweetly, stroking your cheek, “Daddy’s gotta be inside for that.”

Your cheeks burn and you go to answer, but his cock slides past your clit again and you shudder. “Th-that’s what I thought…” you murmur out weakly, the words trailing into a soft moan as Joel starts to move a little faster.

“Poor thing wants daddy’s cock splitting her open, doesn’t she?” Joel asks in a patronizing tone, pushing one of his palms on the shower wall next to your head and the other wrapped around your hip, anchoring the both of you for him to start fucking himself more eagerly between your thighs.

You breathe out a moan, finding your body limply falling back and using the shower wall to support you as your legs start to shake. Joel’s words have the final effect on you, barely even knowing what that would mean for you to be split open by him. It’s alluring and frightening at once, the concept that your body could accommodate something that large where he’d only used his fingers before.

Joel brings his lips to yours and kisses you sloppily, an open mouthed, ravishing act as his tongue forces entry into your mouth, licking along your bottom lip. “Can’t hold back much longer from your sweet little pussy, princess,” he says in a daze. “C’mon, do daddy a favor and tighten those thighs around my cock f’me.”

You squeeze your thighs together a little tighter, looking up at him with puffy, assaulted lips, eyes glistening in the haze of your pleasure. “L-like this, daddy?” you ask quietly, moaning as your eyes roll back when his cock brushes so perfectly over your now overly-sensitive clit. It slips through with a little more effort now, Joel groaning in pleasure and nodding.

“There ya go, good girl,” Joel answers in a breathier tone, a little rasp taking over as he starts to lose himself. He grunts a little with the exertion, both of you unsure now what is sweat and what is water from the steaming shower. You can feel that beyond the water, your cunt is shamelessly weeping for him, dripping out onto his cock each time it passes through your slit, not bothering to be delicate with you anymore anymore. His wet curls fall forward onto his forehead as he tilts his head down over top of yours. You’re panting, the heat of the bathroom nearly choking you as your heart picks up speed.

Joel’s lips latch to yours again, swallowing all of the little whimpers and cries you make as you start to tremble against him. Your hands claw up to Joel’s shoulders for support, drawing yourself even closer as your insides burn for him, burn for that one movement to send you over the edge. Joel’s hips roll forward again as his pace quickens and you can hear the slap of your hips together, hear only the way he grunts and moans for you above the rushing of blood through your ears. His praises reach your ears while he continues to devastate the bundle of nerves between your legs - good girl, fuck you’re perfect, so wet, so so wet, let go for me - and then you do.

Everything else seems to fade as a crashing wave of pleasure rolls out from your core, enveloping every inch of you. The head of Joel’s cock rubs furiously over your clit as he pumps his hips faster for you to ride out your high. You whimper and cry out for him, his hand catching the back of your head at the last moment as it quickly dips back, stopping you from clunking into the wall of the shower. He draws you near, tucking your head into his chest where you collapse, a final moan slipping out as you come back to him.

Joel moves his cock lazily, sending your hips shuddering with oversensitivity for a few moments before he stops, tilting your head down and holding it there with a firm hand on the back of your hair.

“Want y’to look at what y’did to me,” he says, sliding his cock from between your raw, tingling thighs, revealing the creamy slickness coating his cock, his broad body blocking the water from washing it away just yet. He smirks as he continues to force your head down, showing you the proof of how much you want him, of how badly you’ve fallen into his hold now. “Pretty girl made such a mess on daddy’s cock,” he coos, wrapping a hand around the base of it with his free hand, starting to tug on it a few times. You’re mesmerized by the way he moves with such precision, his large, long fingers able to take so much more than you can as they wrap around his shaft.

“Only fair I make a mess on her too, ain’t it?” Joel questions, the smirk evident in his voice as his hand begins to move, gathering up your slickness and mixing it with the precum leaking out of his tip. You feel like you can barely blink, barely breathe, as you take it all in. The slick, squelching sounds that soon fill the shower stall, the redness of his cock as it begs for release, the way his hand moves so deftly that it makes your clit start to ache all over again. You tremble, still completely rocked from your recent orgasm, trying to focus on his pleasure now.

“Gonna look so pretty covered in my come again, princess,” Joel grunts out, and you try to lift your eyes to his, to search for comfort behind his eyes, desiring a closeness with him. “Nuh-uh, want you to see my cock spill all over your pretty body, baby,” he quickly chastises you, keeping your gaze downward with a small shove on your head.

He’s moving in sped-up strokes now, groaning quietly, grumbling praises to you again as his hips stutter forward a bit into his hand. He suddenly lets go, angling his body before ropes of come spurt out and land all over your stomach and right between your legs, dripping down immediately. The milky whiteness coats your skin and you watch all of it in awe, finding that you want to see it again and again and again. It makes you feel special, to see Joel lose control for just that brief moment as his eyes flutter and he releases it all… because of you.

“God,” Joel murmurs, stepping right up to you and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you close. “Good job, honey, y’did good today.” His lips find the top of your head, his breathing heavy as he plants a kiss there and then pulls back to look at you. “You like your reward, hm?”

You nod a bit more eagerly than you’ve reacted towards him yet and smile softly. “Yes sir,” you say proudly, Joel’s face mimicking the look with his own pleased smirk.

“Good girl,” he replies, patting your head and turning your body to the sprinkling water to rinse you off. He gently cleans you once more, making sure he gets every last bit of his come, continuing his praises of you as he does it. He turns off the shower and reaches for a towel, wrapping the fluffy fabric around your shoulders and taking another proud look at you.

Joel proceeds to make you dinner, having you relax back on the sofa as you watch him, sprawled out and exhausted. How you’re so worn out from doing practically nothing today has you almost laughing at yourself. You suppose that the mental gymnastics that Joel puts you through take enough of a toll to leave you this tired at the end of the day.

You eyeball him at the stove, the warmth of the shower coupled with the crackling fire has your eyes drooping more by the second. He put you in one of his flannel shirts and nothing else, the fabric cozy and smelling like him, and you find you’re enjoying it more than you wish. Joel looks over at you and smiles at the sight while he stirs what looks like some kind of rice dish with some of the venison he’d gotten today.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” he asks with another glance your way, seeing the more contemplative look on your face. You had been thinking about something, a tickle in the back of your mind since last night. You’re not sure if it’s the tiredness getting to you, or you’re actually starting to feel more comfortable around Joel, but you sit up a little and bite your lip, ready to ask him.

“H-how… how come you haven’t… y’know… done all of it with me yet? Isn’t - isn’t that what men want? I’ve heard st-“

Joel cuts off your rambling with a raise of his hand, but his eyes shine with surprise beneath their cold exterior.

“Now, a real man can get pleasure in lots of different ways. Don’t group daddy with people who just wanna stick their dick in anythin’ warm ‘n wet then move on, okay?”

His tone scolds you and you sit wide eyed at his lewd imagery, nodding hastily. He stirs the pan on the stove once over before walking over to you, stopping and grasping at your chin, a movement that seems to make your knees feel weak every time. You find your body nearly limp at the way he touches you there, your mind willing you to submit to his power.

“And as for why…” Joel starts with a cocky smile. “I want y’to beg for it, princess. An’ you will be. Be beggin’ for my cock inside of you ‘fore long.”

You blink back your shock at his answer, and shake your head a little before you can think about it. “I don’t - no - I -“ you sputter out, never imagining yourself in a scenario where you’d beg Joel for much else other than your freedom. Even that was a thought becoming lost to the recesses of your mind, having found yourself experiencing more and more small comforts here.

“You will. Way I see it you’re already halfway there, darlin’. Beggin’ for daddy to make you feel good twice jus’ today, weren’t ya? Hm?”

Your lips sit parted with your lost words, realizing he’s right. You’d asked him for it today, asked to feel good at his hand, his mouth, his cock.

“Yes, daddy, that was me,” you respond, your eyes glancing down demurely before he squeezes your chin.

“So. I’m gonna make you want it so bad I’ve got no choice but to fuck that tight little virgin pussy of yours, jus’ to quiet your beggin’. That’s why.”

You’re quiet now, words failing you again as you sit silently in Joel’s hold. You feel sick with desire and disgust and anticipation all at once, everything overwhelming your senses. Joel’s touch, the smell of the stove, the scratch of his shirt on your skin.

Maybe. Your stomach turns as the thought crosses your mind. Maybe you would… maybe Joel was right as usual, that you’d be begging for him to fuck you by the end of all this. And maybe you didn’t mind coming to terms with that.

“Dinner’s ready, c‘mon,” Joel says, ignoring the stricken expression on your face as he walks back over to the stove. You sit up, moving to follow his command without a second thought.

“Yes, sir.”

reminder i have no taglist anymore! follow @beardedjoel-updatesand turn on notifs for when i post there!

#clarke recs #joel miller fanfic #fic: smother #joel miller #joel miller fanfiction #dark!joel miller fanfiction #dark!joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller x f!reader #the last of us fanfiction #tlou fanfiction #daddy dom joel miller #ddlg joel miller

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seethew3stwithm3 · 6 months ago

Text

Hey so this chapter was actually insane-

I'm sitting here, at the bus stop, clinging to this shitty metal bench so that I don't simply collapse.

Okay, so right of the bat, this struck me dead in the chest. My eyebrows shot up into my hairline, a summer breeze that smelled of citrus and slut potential lovingly brushed my fringe out of my face so I could READ that SHIT aGAIN!

Now, look, I consider myself to be a pretty independent gal, but if this sketchy, attentive, maybe a little red-flag possessive old man said he was gonna take care of me? I'd be sold.

He fed us bread and cheese, like, come on now...

SPEAKING of coming on- sorry, I saw the opportunity. But in all seriousness, I was blushing and giggling. That man and his filthy mouth? Absolutely insane. Love him. Love this. Love YOU! I love just finding these slices of incredible fiction that I get to read on the internet FOR FREE when it brings me more joy and excitement than the entertainment that I pay for.

Anyway, I'm getting sappy, but I love Tumblr. I love writers. I love creativity. I love it all.

smother - part iii: compliance

dark!joel x f!reader

series masterlist | main masterlist | ao3 | kofi

summary: the deeper you fall into his trap, the further you start to lose a sense of what you really want. 10.4k words chapter warnings: 18+ MDNI! noncon, nonconsensual touching, dubcon - reader eventually enthusiastically consents but the syndrome is stockholming so its dubcon, coercion, reader is a virgin, big juicy age gap (reader is 19, joel is 55), ddlg (no infantilization of reader) daddy!dom joel is coming out to play this chapter, fingering, handjob, joel's corruption kink confirmed here, joel is both mean (hurts reader briefly) and sweet once again, if these darker tags aren't your cup of tea please keep scrolling! a/n: oh we're SO back with some smut this chapter! this story has me pushing my own limits on creativity and stuff and that has really been rewarding so far, i love it and i love dark!joel. anyhoooo please enjoy my lovelies 🤍 reminder i have no taglist anymore! follow @beardedjoel-updates and turn on notifs for when i post there!

It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay…

Joel’s words echo in your ear from where they were whispered moments ago as he pressed himself into you from behind, urging you up the stairs towards his bedroom. One hand gripped firmly on your upper arm, the other on the small of your back, fingers exploring along your bare skin. You turn back once more with worried, widened eyes as you reach the top of the steps and he presses against you again, nearly pushing you.

“I got ya, sugar” he says quietly, stopping for a moment to nuzzle into your neck before pushing you along. The new pet name he’s trying out makes you blink a few times, half liking the sweet implication. His deep breath in and out tickles your skin and you suddenly feel itchy from his facial hair scratching there. Panic claws its way up from your stomach, suddenly unsure of everything, like you’re just snapping out of the stupor you were in from Joel’s lips.

Joel had made you feel good downstairs just moments ago, giving you that first, unforgettable kiss. It was so much more hungry and wet and passionate than you’d ever envisioned a kiss being, and it made you feel even more anxious that you truly were out of your depth here.

You’ve managed in your fog to pad your way to Joel’s bedroom with him close behind you, his heat seeping into your skin, his body close enough to morph right into yours. He spins you immediately to face him and starts to kiss you again the moment you’re inside his bedroom. After just a moment of surprise, you fall right back into it, his tongue dancing a perfect rhythm against yours and you whimper and moan quietly. You find your body wanting to be closer closer closer to him so you wrap your arms around his neck, fingers grazing right against the curls at the base of his neck.

Joel pulls back to smile down at you, a wicked thing as his eyes glint before he dives back in. He’s devouring you, hands all over your body as if he doesn’t know which spot to get enough of next. He’s suddenly lifting you up, large palms spread underneath your thighs as he hoists you up against him, carrying you so that you don’t have a chance to stop him from bringing you to his bed.

That same bed you’d seen him just hours earlier, the moment that had started this fucked up chain of events you’d fallen into.

“There we go, jus’ relax,” Joel coos as he lays you down flat, your head right against the mattress. He climbs on top of you, trapping you completely before his lips smash into yours again. He’s taking now, giving you no room to push back or speak as his tongue laps into your mouth over and over, hearty groans escaping him. Sounds that a famished man makes eating his favorite meal. It makes you shudder, the way you’ve started to feel like his meal, like something he could just enjoy and toss away the scraps he leaves afterwards.

“Christ, so fuckin’ innocent, sugar. I’ll teach you so many things to do w’that tongue,” he comments slyly after you hesitantly try to use your tongue in the same way as he was. Joel’s lips drag down your chin to your neck and start to suck on various spots, a little soft at first to test you but more hurried and rough the longer he goes. His body grinds against yours a bit and you lay back, feeling breathless. Your body burns and burns as he marks you and moves against you, your thighs aching all the way to the apex.

You squirm a little bit, a foreign discomfort completely taking over, and Joel pulls back to look down at you. He strokes the side of your head from your forehead all the way back, looking at you with warmer eyes.

“Gonna be okay, I’ll show ya how good you can feel…” he murmurs as his fingers start to trace along your bottom lip. “Now I’m gonna peek at a little more of ya,” he announces before sliding down your tense body, straddling your legs before hooking his fingers in your sweatpants. They’re down and shoved off your legs before you can even process it, leaving you in just a pair of plain white panties. His eyes roam up every inch of your body, white heat flickering low in your belly at the way Joel looks at you.

“Now that’s a sight…” He smirks, sliding his hands up your thighs to rest on your hips, treating each spot he touches with a new reverence. You’ve started to tremble a little, the chilly air biting at you along with this vulnerable feeling, being so exposed.

“Y-you like the way I look?” you ask tentatively, having to clear your throat from lack of use. Your sudden urge for validation from him strikes you hard and you silently curse yourself.

Joel smiles at the unexpected question from you and gives you a singular nod. “‘Course I do. You’re real beautiful, sweetheart. ‘Specially like this.” His eyes land between your legs as he says the last words, licking his lips out of habit. He slinks up next to you, laying close to you and wrapping an arm around you, enveloping you in everything Joel.

“Now don’t ya feel safe here like this? Got me right here holdin’ you, gonna make it all okay.”

You just nod, swallowing the anxious lump in your throat. “I’m… just scared…” you admit, willing your cheeks to stop burning hot with all the emotions swirling around inside of you. Desire, embarrassment, discomfort, doubt - all mixing up to create a disastrous thundering of your heart inside of your chest.

“Baby, nothin’ to be scared of…” Joel coos, kissing your shoulder and peppering them across the top of your chest as he leans over your body.

“You’re not gonna hurt me?” you wonder aloud. You’d heard stories through the grapevine of other girls - fearful stories of pain or blood that had nearly revolted you at the time, made you almost glad there were no men paying that type of attention to you just yet. You’d always hoped they were just exaggerated tales, and you suppose you’re finally about to find out for yourself.

“I’ll be honest, sweet girl. This might hurt a little bit. Just ‘cause it’s your first time.” His lips suckle at the swell of your breast and you squirm a little, back arching into it as your breath hitches. You try to focus back on his words as his lips move an inch and do the same motion, a gentle sucking so close to your nipple now that you nearly puff your chest in his direction, hoping his mouth will land there next.

“But it’s such a special kind of love a man can show ya on your first time, darlin’. Get to have all of you…” he muses, his warped excitement becoming more palpable by the second, filling the room and stifling the air. “I’ll be gentle,” he adds on as he sees another spark of fear on your face.

“You’ll be gentle…” you repeat quietly, squeezing your eyes shut in some type of silent prayer. You feel the needle-like prickle of tears behind your eyes again, begging yourself to do anything but cry right now. You dig your nails deep into your palms, squeezing your fists tight to keep the pain there instead of burning deep in your stomach where it’s settled.

How can you be this close to all of it and still so unsure? Would you ever be sure? Or is this how everyone feels during their first time?

Joel finally pops one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking harder while his hand plays with your free nipple, rolling it between his fingers. You cry out at the unexpected sensation and wriggle your body, only to be held down a little harder by Joel.

“Mm-mm,” he hums, “No squirmin’ away.” His mouth quickly finds a home on your breasts again as you try to still your body, not wanting to make him upset. You’d seen how he behaved when he was upset with you, and it was not something you found yourself wanting to repeat.

”Pretty little nipples, sweetheart,” Joel says, talking at your chest while he flicks his tongue on the hard bud, unrelenting in his tasting of your sweet, supple skin. “Look at ‘em all day if I could. Half a mind to have you walk ‘round w’your tits out all the time.” He chuckles dryly before he sucks again, a little harder and you bite back the gasp that sticks in your throat at the jolt of pleasure it sends rocking through your body. “You’d do that f’me, wouldn’t you? Jus’ to get a little of ‘ol Joel’s attention?”

His words make you itchy, almost, in a strange, foreign way, one that’s hard to explain even to yourself. Like you want to crawl out of your skin, yet want to hear his words over and over, hear more of the things he sees in you, would want from you. You’d never found yourself to be someone with much to offer anyone, really, and hearing Joel already find so much to dote on is inflicting you with the most unexpected addiction you could have imagined.

You feel Joel’s fingers squeeze your chin suddenly, your eyes flicking open to glance down at him. “Answer me when I’m speakin’ to you,” Joel says softly despite the commanding tone of his words.

“I - yes,” you answer, tripping over the single word as you push it out in a hurry.

“Good girl,” he murmurs in response, leaning up to peck a kiss on the spot on your chin he’d been gripping. “Now you’re gonna let me make you feel good, ain’t ya? Let me treat you like a princess, show you what all the other men shoulda done but were too dumb. Chance with a pretty girl like you,” he rambles with a little scoff. “All meant f’me, anyways.” His conclusion seems to satisfy him as he grins, taking in your body with a hot gaze, lingering at the base of your stomach where his hands are itching to go. He doesn’t wait for your answer this time, sliding his hand right down, skillfully touching your soft skin the entire way.

Joel’s fingers start to trace the band of your panties, that satisfied grin still plastered on his face as he watches your reactions - your little sharp inhales and small twitches of your face as you feel him exploring your body. His eyes can’t help but drift down to watch your chest heave, pert tits on display and abused, hard nipples poking out into the air. He has a tempting thought to spend his entire night with his face buried right there, but he has more pressing matters to get to, he reminds himself as he feels his cock twitch inside his jeans.

He suddenly sighs as he pads the outside of your underwear, his face nearly pained looking in his ecstasy. “You’re soaked f’me, sugar,” Joel says, breathless. You feel yourself flush hot, your cheeks burning, thinking this has to be something to be embarrassed about, something that shows your lack of experience and your fear.

“‘S not a bad thing,” Joel tells you quickly, seeming to read your mind yet again. He doesn’t stop, his fingers teasing the fabric that starts to seep onto his digits. “Means you like all this, means your body is tellin’ us you’re ready.”

“Oh,” you say flatly, feeling dumb for not having much better to say. “I- uh, are you going to do it now, then?”

Joel chuckles, a genuine sound ringing through the quiet room, like he’s amused. “Christ,” he breathes out, swirling his fingers along the fabric, making your hips jump as he brushes your bundle of nerves. “You’re too cute, so perfect f’me. I get to teach you everythin’.”

Your brain can barely register his words, too focused on that little spasm that had just rocked its way through your body when Joel’s fingers touched along that sensitive spot. You blink, biting your lip as his fingers tease everywhere but there, silently urging him to brush there again.

Joel huffs another laugh watching your contorted, concentrated face. “Already fucked out, can’t think about nothin’ but these fingers, huh?” he teases you, amusement lacing his voice. His fingers make a tight circle over your clothed clit and you inhale sharply through your teeth, stifling a little noise from deep in your chest. “That what you wanted? Jus’ desperate f’me to touch your clit, sugar?”

You shake your head, completely overwhelmed by the absurdity of this feeling. “I don’t - I don’t…” you murmur, trying to convince yourself for what feels like the final time that you don’t want any of this. That you don’t feel an amoral, wicked pull towards this man that you shouldn’t - this man who has treated you like prey, is far too old to be interested in you, who by all accounts should be sending you fighting and running. A man you know likely has debased plans for you that you can barely even conjure up in your own mind, but plans that you are slowly realizing you want to be a part of, are curious about.

His care, his touch, his infatuation. They could all be yours, if you’d let him.

“Think you do… look at you, innocent little thing. Wrestlin’ w’yourself. Nothin’ wrong happening here, honey.”

You look to his dark eyes, seeking guidance, reassurance. “I-it’s not? I feel so…” You can’t put any of it into words for him, how intense the feeling is, how badly your body is craving something that you don’t know anything about yet. How dirty you feel for wanting it with him.

He shakes his head slowly to try and convince you. “Mm-mm. I feel it too, sugar. ‘S jus’ attraction, desire. Makes you burn all hot in here, don’t it?” he asks, cupping your aching, wet cunt through your panties. You gasp at the fullness of his hand against your throbbing folds while you nod fervently, taking in a deep breath to steady yourself as his fingers curl and then drag up your clothed slit. Your head arches back a little and you let out a tiny mewling sound through closed lips. Your mind muddles instantly, eyes rolling back as he repeats the motion, this time letting his fingers trail off to the edge of your panties, teasing the hem there.

“Thas’ it, let yourself enjoy it, princess. Let daddy take care of you.”

He’s barely controlling himself now, his breath heavy against your neck as he starts to move with more urgency, teeth scraping against your delicate skin. Your brow furrows quickly at the new reference to himself but his teeth sink into your flesh with a soft nip, pulling your mind back to the present.

“You’re gonna like this,” he murmurs quietly into your skin as his fingers fiddle one final time at your waistband before wiggling under, diving deep and sliding his fingers right into your wet slit.

“Oh… m-my, g-“ you whimper as quietly as you can when he slips them back and forth a few times, brushing your clit on each one, gathering up a lewd amount of slickness on his fingers. He spreads your wet folds delicately, feeling his way around almost respectfully, desperate breaths puffing out of his nose.

“Poor baby… soakin’ yourself this whole time… never even knowin’ how good you could feel, how much y’need a cock in here,” Joel says, sounding truly devastated for you. His brazen language makes your head spin and your cheeks flourish with warmth. And then it finally happens - his fingers swirl over your clit again.

You cry out loud this time, unable to hold it back when his circling tightens and he puts more pressure down on the aching little bud. The heat from between your legs starts to spread to your lower belly, pulling taut and warm as it settles there.

“Oh…” you murmur, back arching when Joel adds a second finger to the motion. Your legs shake a little as they lay flat on the bed, knees starting to bend of their own volition to help your hips start to wriggle closer to his touch. You stutter out another moan when his fingers press harder, the feeling shooting what feels like sparks through your entire bloodstream, straight to your head. You’re foggy, thoughts clouded over as everything else starts to fade out. Your mind pinpoints on Joel’s touch, practically seeing just his fingers in your mind's eye and the sensation that’s quickly boiling in your core, tightening with each movement he makes.

“Yeah, feelin’ so good ain’t you princess?” Joel coos with a grin, making his movements a little faster. “First one to touch this little clit, first one to see ya like this, writhin’ around like an animal in heat. God…” He marvels at your microexpressions, the contortions of your body, the way he can see you’re holding back, not wanting to seem too eager.

“Let go, sweetheart. Be loud f’me. Be loud f’daddy,” Joel urges you, eyes practically bugging out of his head as he sees you start to sheen a little with sweat, your body hot and tingling next to him. He smirks as he slips a finger down, eliciting a desperate cry from you when it leaves your clit to tease your entrance.

“D-daddy…” you start, meaning it as more of a question, wanting to understand what he’s getting at, but it trails off into a pathetic little cry when the tip of his index finger pushes into you unexpectedly.

Joel has died and gone to heaven, if his expression is any indication as he breathes out shakily, hardly in control of his actions at this point. “Thas’ right, thas’ right, princess. Call out f’me while I’m inside ya.”

“F-fuck,” you let slip out. “Y-you’re inside?” you ask him in slight disbelief that it’s really happening. You go completely breathless as he starts to play with your clit again, using his thumb to flick urgently there while he lets his finger settle inside of you.

Joel wriggles his finger deeper, burying his index finger almost to the hilt as he nods, turning your head with his free hand to make sure you’re looking at him.

“Naughty little thing, cursin’ cause daddy made you feel that good.” He smirks, letting you sweat it out for another moment before answering your question in a softer voice, almost sweet and caring. “‘M inside, sugar. Feels so fuckin’ good, too. Perfect, tight little hole all f’me.”

You’ve become a trembling mess, the fullness from Joel’s finger overwhelming you. The tingling warmth spreads to your belly from where he starts to move his finger, slowly at first.

“Yeah, there we go, takin’ me so well,” Joel mumbles as you relax around his finger, pressing in and out in sloppier motions. You gasp when his finger presses in to the hilt, then he repeats it over and over, filling you up. Your hips twitch and grind a little into him, into the feeling of his thumb flicking carefully at your clit.

“O-oh…” you whimper out, gushes of warmth coating Joel’s finger, running down onto his hand. He grunts an approving noise as he feels the way your body pours out slickness for him. This is pure heaven, he concludes to himself, nothing in the world could be sweeter than the feeling of taking this from you and getting so much in return.

“Christ, you are perfect,” he says near your ear. “This okay, princess?”

You just give him a nod, barely able to speak as your entire body starts to feel warmer and drawn tight, Joel’s finger on your clit moving at an achingly slow pace.

“Gonna feel somethin’ for just a second, mkay?” he says quietly, not bothering to clue you in any further before retreating his index finger and snuggling his middle finger right next to it, inserting them both into your weeping entrance.

Joel breathes a sigh, the air fanning across your bare chest. “Mmm, so tight, baby. Thas’ it, just focus right on me,” he says as your eyes open wide and look right into his. You feel the burn from his second finger, so thick and wide in comparison, your body adjusting to the new sensation.

“J-joel…” you whimper quietly when he starts to move them with more force, your brow furrowing with the strange mixture of pain and pleasure.

“Y’need to relax, c’mon,” he urges, using his free hand to rub gentle circles on your shoulder. “Promise we’ll get you feelin’ real good, sweetheart. We gotta get you all stretched out to fit all ‘f me.” He rubs a soothing hand on your shoulder with his free one, shushing you when he sees the look of worry on your face.

“Jus’ enjoy it.”

His words echo in your mind as you start to fully embrace all the sensations. You feel a burning heat in your core start to radiate, pulling tight, so tight it’s nearly maddening before your hips shift the tiniest bit and find your release, the tightness completely snapping from one moment to the next.

“Oh my god… oh my god… oh…” you cry out, feeling yourself starting to shake, your entire body ravaged by oncoming waves and waves of pleasure.

“Look at me when you come, princess,” Joel says sternly as he grasps your face, turning your head in his direction. You slowly creep your eyes open and see his dark pools full of a sense of smugness and wonder. “God, fuck, that’s good, keep comin’ f’me,” he breathes out, feeling your slick pouring out onto his hand as you come.

You’ve never felt so amazing in your entire life, the only thought you can think is more more more as you moan loudly, any shame in doing so long gone when you feel this incredible. White heat envelops you, sending your vision speckled and your back arching off the bed completely, your hips spasming down to where Joel sloppily yet expertly fucks you with his fingers. You grip at the sheets with one hand, Joel’s shirt with the other, squeezing them both to try to hang on to reality.

“Good girl, good little girl… god you’re pretty when you come,” Joel says, talking you through it. His fingers are merciless until the last second, when your hips drop to the bed with a sudden thud, your entire body limp, only your hips jumping with a need to get away from the overstimulation.

“Oh, that was a big one, now, wasn’t it?” Joel asks softly, pulling his hand from between your legs and resting it on your thigh, his other still soothing on your cheek. Your eyes flutter and roll back as you catch your breath, trying to wrap your mind around what just happened.

“Uh-huh…” you murmur dazedly, your hand still resting on Joel’s chest after letting go of his shirt.

Joel peppers your face with soft, loving kisses, finally reaching your lips and kissing you deeper. You’re lost, somewhere in another dimension completely, kissing him back without any knowledge of doing so. The warmth of his lips starts to bring you back and you flutter your eyes open as he pulls back.

“Y’did real good. How’d that feel, huh, sugar?” Joel inquires, looking down at you expectantly.

“S-so… good… I can’t explain…”

“Mhm, I know what ya mean,” he replies sweetly, “Hard to explain, jus’ all that pleasure. Loved makin’ you feel that good, honey.” Joel leans in to kiss your cheek, using his hand to tilt you towards him and plants another kiss on your lips. You moan quietly, body overstimulated and exhausted, the now empty space between your legs aching and tingling for him.

You roll your head back onto the pillow, unable to respond. Joel places a hand over the one of yours that rests on his chest and rubs his thumb over the back.

“Gonna make you feel like that all the time,” he says with an oddly devoted, sweet tone, leaning down and surprising you with another kiss. Your eyes open again and he’s looking at you with that look again. “So much more we could do,” he adds, shifting his smile into something more hungry again.

“Wh-“ you start to ask, and Joel’s finger touches your lip gently. You can taste the remnants of yourself on it - such a strange, foreign flavor that makes you smack your lips a little. Joel’s amusement at your response shows quickly on his face as he traces his finger along your lips with a soft smile.

He starts to sit up and lean back on the bed, sending your hand dropping from his chest, a quick bounce on the mattress before it stills. His hands reach to his waist, fingers working at his belt. You stare, eyes transfixed on his every move as your heart starts to beat more quickly, anxiety flooding your system as you toil over what comes next.

“Ain’t done with you yet, sweet girl,” he mumbles, belt now hanging loose and open while he palms himself outside of his jeans. Your mind races at the prospect of seeing what you saw from afar this morning just this much closer. Joel reads your deer in the headlights expression and smirks, head cocked as he looks down at you, sitting next to you on the bed, knees pushed into the mattress.

You swallow hard, the apparent lump sliding down your throat and it makes your cheeks burn how openly nervous you are. Joel strokes a hand gently down the side of your head before pushing off the mattress and standing next to the edge of the bed.

“Time f’you to see a real man, in all his glory,” Joel says, teasingly, like he knows something you don’t. And he does, you suppose, know a lot of things that you don’t in this regard.

He starts to peel off his jeans, letting them pool by his ankles, belt buckle clanging all the way down before he steps out of them. He has on a pair of dark boxer briefs, hard to tell if they’re black or navy in the fading evening light of his bedroom. All you can focus on is the apparent bulge there, knowing what’s underneath, that shockingly large part of him he’d stroked earlier because of you.

He wastes little time pulling his shirt over his head, revealing his hulking, muscular form, soft yet hard, toned and strong but fleshy and dusted with salt and pepper curls of hair, leading right down to the waistband of his briefs.

Your eyes flick from between his thighs to his face, searching his eyes for any kind of assurance, any kind of assistance in how to act, what to do next. He just remains as cocky as ever, hand grazing the outside of the tented fabric as he stares down at you with hooded eyes.

“You wanna see it, babygirl? Wanna touch daddy’s cock?” He rubs himself a little faster, a tiny growl suppressed in his chest while he awaits your answer. “Know you do, know you’re such a curious girl.”

You unstick your tongue from the roof of your mouth and nod, swallowing hard again. “Y-yes, I want to see,” you finally say, meek and shaky, shrinking in on yourself like you’re preparing for a bomb to go off, afraid of what you’re about to witness. In what feels like a flash, his briefs are down on the ground, Joel’s cock springing free almost violently as it slaps against him. You stare for a moment, taking in the way it juts out from his body - rock hard, shiny pink head dripping and veins running along the length of him. You feel speechless, unsure if there’s something you’re supposed to say when a man shows you his penis.

“C’mon a little closer, princess, you can look, s’okay,” Joel says, calm and quiet. “Crawl over here.”

You hesitate a moment and push yourself up on the bed to get on your hands and knees. While it’s not a far distance, just a few paces and you’re to the side of the bed where Joel stands, he revels in the sight of you doing it, his lip caught between his teeth as he gently plays with himself.

“Pretty girl,” Joel murmurs when you reach him, putting his hand along the back of your head and stroking once before holding on to keep you in a position to stare directly at his cock. It’s threateningly large right in your face like this, and you feel yourself shudder a bit as you watch Joel’s free hand gently touching all along the length.

“Now, I want y’to touch it, can you do that, sweetheart?”

You hand hovers, your teeth sinking into the inside of your cheek as you peer at his member with a lack of confidence.

“C’mon now,” Joel says, grabbing your wrist, moving your stalled, floating hand to his cock, settling your fingers on the head. Your stomach turns with the strangeness of all of this - the way you had given in to him and now felt like it was impossible to go back. Joel is gently nudging your hand, trying to urge you to move, and it brings you back to the present moment where you blink hard and focus on him again.

“Sh-should I do this…?” you ask quietly, letting your fingers graze the head in a swirling motion, unintentionally picking up the beads of precum leaking out and you nearly pull back. Joel chuckles at your brief reaction to the liquid, then nods.

“That’s good, real nice,” he says softly. “Touch it all over now, no need to be shy with me, okay?”

You press your lips together, unable to even look him in the eye due to your strange combination of being flustered and mortified. You can only find yourself staying focused on what you’re doing with your hands, making sure it’s right for him.

“What did I say about answerin’ me when I’m speaking to you?” Joel says a moment later, tugging on your hair to lift your gaze up to his. You wince, wishing he’d be a little more gentle with your scalp, and he sees your expression and only tightens his grip.

“I-I’m s-sorry. Um…” you take a deep breath, trying to calm your quaking hands. “Like this?” you ask him, using your fingertips to glide down the length of his cock, all the way to the base where a patch of thick curls sits. That seems to please him, a kinder smile on his face now when he nods in approval.

“Lean forward and spit right on there f’me,” he says, looking down at you and gesturing between his thighs. “Need to get it nice and wet f’daddy to feel good, okay?”

Your mouth hangs open in a stunted silence, your body unable to move without his assistance right now as he drags your hand along his dry cock. He grunts in exasperation before tugging back on your haIr again, forcing your face into a contorted wince.

“I don’t wanna hurt you, you know that, right? Y’jus’ need a firm hand, baby, helpin’ you figure all this stuff out. So why don’t ya go on ahead and do as I say, sweetheart, hm? It’d make me real happy.” His words are silken, laced with his country accent and that hidden malice he carries within him, every step, every word showing it to you, drawing you in further.

You bow your head a little as he loosens his grip, letting you decide for yourself now. “I-I’m sorry, you’re right, I- uh, d-do need your help,” you whine obediently, feeling your scalp starting to throb a tiny bit.

Joel scratches at your head for a moment, watching you lean down closer to his cock. “Good girl, there ya go.” You can hear him smirking as you tentatively spit on his cock, watching the saliva settled on the top before dripping around the side. “Don’t be afraid, want ya to drool on it, baby, don’t worry ‘bout gettin’ messy.” He nudges your head forward and you breathe out a shaky breath before trying to desperately gather up any amount of saliva your drying mouth will offer you. You open your mouth, letting your tongue hang down before forcing yourself to spit watching more dribble onto the center of his cock.

“Fuck,” Joel grits through his teeth, feeling the sudden warm wetness of your saliva on him. “Thas’ it - f-fuck, now wrap your hand ‘round it,” he commands urgently, immediately negating any need for the words by wrapping his own hand more firmly around yours, sending your fingers curling around his length.

“Look at that, sugar, barely even fit that little hand around me,” he says with an arrogant grin, starting to move your hand in strokes, gathering up all the slickness you’d just provided. The sound starts to reverberate through the room, that same noise you’d heard outside his door earlier.

You’re starting to feel like merely a passenger as he jerks on himself quicker using your hand, sitting in front of him almost completely naked, the real version of what he was picturing this morning as he pleasured himself. Joel smiles even more at the fantasy coming to life right before his eyes, your little panties the only thing he has left to remove before he’s seen all of you. And by god, does he want to see all of you. See what he has no doubt looks just as perfect as it felt around his fingers while he buried them inside of you.

“Take ‘em off,” Joel says as the thought pops into his head, staring down between your legs, his eyes practically glimmering.

“D-do I have to…?” you stammer out, suddenly wishing you could put back on every piece of clothing that’s now scattered between here and the kitchen downstairs.

“Now c’mon darlin’,” Joel snips, frowning a little. His hand continues to jerk yours along a little more aggressively as his breathing picks up. “Jus’ want to see your pretty body, baby girl, thas’ all. It’ll help me feel extra good right here,” he says, squeezing your hand as it moves along his cock.

You reach down and start pulling on the waistband of your panties, a little awkwardly as Joel holds your other hand hostage. You shimmy them down and sit closer to the edge of the bed, where Joel suddenly wraps his arm around your back and pulls you to the edge, leaving your legs dangling off on either side of his knees.

Joel’s hand grips at the side of your face, cupping your cheek less than delicately as he pants out, your hand moving quicker and quicker along his cock. You feel a rush of heat in your body similar to when Joel had been touching you earlier. That arousal cropping up low and deep in your belly, that feeling you want to ignore when it comes to Joel. But looking at him - sheening with sweat, his enticingly soft yet muscular belly right in your face, his face turning a shade more red with effort as he puffs out his quick breaths has you nearly squirming where you sit. It’s intimate, it’s sexual, you realize, something he’s giving to you just as much as you are him.

“Fuck,” he spits out, tugging your hand off his cock and pushing you down with a swift shove to your chest. You fall back to the bed, nearly emotionally wounded when you notice his eyes still raking all over your body.

“Lemme jus’ look at ya, fuck, put your legs up, show me that pretty cunt,” he demands, his hand flying back to his cock to continue stroking it as you prop your legs up on the bed, giving him the view he’s asking for. He groans loudly, deep and guttural as his eyes are glued to your glistening sex, a new slickness dripping out from the way he’s looking at you. You’ve never felt sexy before, desired, and even though the circumstances are never what you’d envisioned, you’re completely enamored with the feeling of it. Already craving more of it.

“Can’t wait to sink my cock into that tight little pussy,” he murmurs to himself, but you feel your entire body tensing at his words, taken by surprise that it might be happening right now.

Joel’s mouth curls in that devious but handsome way to the side as he sees your change in demeanor. “Shh, shh, not yet, sweetheart. Wanna keep you pure jus’ a little bit longer f’me,” he breathes out with a wink in your direction.

Less controlled smacks of his fist against his skin fill the air of the room. You’re practically holding your breath, watching everything unfold as his cock throbs and twitches in his hold. He just watches your innocent, fascinated expressions move over your face and continues smirking down at you.

“One thing at a time for my princess. Take you piece by piece, won’t I?” He seems so pleased to be the decider here, to say what you get, and don’t get. How he controls how he uses your body. It makes his cock throb achingly in his hand, just the thought of it alone. His to use. His to show all the pleasure. His to keep.

He watches your lips, waiting for them to move, to answer his question. “Y-yes…” you whisper meekly. Joel groans at your compliance and his eyes flutter for a moment. He’s so close now. You understand that same feeling that had come over you for the first time not very long ago.

“Yeah, princess, daddy’s gonna come all over you now. Tell me, say it. Say you want daddy to come all over you.” He breathes heavily, little groaning whimpers as he goes harder, his cock angry and red from the way he’s tugging on it. “Say it,” Joel booms out, and you start at the intensity of his voice, curling in on yourself for a moment.

“I- I want daddy to come o-on me… a-all over me,” you say, hoping it’s loud enough for him to hear, that you won’t have to repeat it again. The name slides awkwardly off your tongue, wishing to understand it, make sense of why it made your core tingle for just a moment when you said the words.

“God, bet you do, yes, fuck, daddy’s gonna come now, paint that perfect body with it,” Joel punches out before his hips stutter forward, his hand giving a few jerks as he starts to come hard, the white stickiness splattering onto you - your stomach, your breasts, even where your legs lay open for him to look at as his own personal little show. He heaves as the final bits spill out and he leans his head back, sighing.

“God damn, so good, baby girl. You did amazing,” he coos, climbing onto the bed next to you. He sits while you lay motionless, nearly stunned from what you’d witnessed, the constant reminder of it in the form of his warm liquid dripping along your body.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he says more softly, picking up your discarded panties and carefully swiping his mess off of you with them, curling his body close to yours.

“That’s better,” he announces, holding the white cotton up to inspect the way his cum stains them now with a wry smirk. He sets them aside on his nightstand before his hands slip underneath your back and your legs to cradle you, pulling you into his lap. He sits back on the bed, nestling the both of you against the headboard as he settles you across his thighs. “This okay?” he asks, stroking your back.

“Mhm.” You nod quietly and thread an arm around his torso, intertwined under where his arm reaches up to meet you. The movement comes naturally, more than you’d care to admit, wanting to feel loved and cared for right now. You hate the tears that sting your eyes again, like you’re not strong enough to handle something like this, something that adults do.

“S-sorry,” you say, swiping your eyes quickly and trying to avoid any tears falling.

“Shh, don’t be sorry. Y’did such a good job, y’know that? Normal to get emotional if it’s your first time.”

You chew on your lip and then look up at Joel, his features already strangely comforting and familiar. The speckled, tan skin that you want to touch more of, his dark lashes that fall over his eyes when he looks down at you like this.

“B-but it wasn’t… my first time…”

“Sure it was. First time doin’ somethin’ like that. It’s a lot for a sweet girl like you. But you’ll feel good again, just like tonight, I promise ya that.”

You nod, slightly more encouraged by Joel’s words as you relax a little more into his embrace. “That… release… it’s an orgasm, right?” You nearly choke on the words, shame flooding you for even having to ask.

Joel blows out a teasing breath through his nostrils. “God damn, nobody out there teachin’ you anythin’, were they?” He ruffles the back of your head playfully. “Yes, darlin’ that was an orgasm, what both of us experienced.”

You crack a small smile at his teasing and brush your fingers along where they’re resting along his back. “People acted like it was… bad to teach about. My parents, people that looked after me, all of them.” You pause, feeling your face warm with the embarrassment of sharing so much “S-sorry I’m so clueless…”

“No, honey, not clueless. You’re learnin’, and I wanna be the one to teach you everythin’. It…” he inhales deeply, and you see that hunger in his eyes when you glance his way. “It excites me.”

“It does?”

“It’s so sexy, takin’ care of you and lettin’ you learn w’me. You like bein’ sexy, don’t you?” Joel teases, bringing a hand to your chin, tilting it just slightly. Your lips look the most inviting they have as they curve into the most delicate smile, one finally full of lust and confidence.

“I do…” you murmur in response, averting your eyes as you flush yet again. Your body feels warm, bare and pressed against Joel’s naked flesh, his words instantly having an effect on you.

“An’ you should,” Joel says, leaning forward to press his lips to your neck, smattering kisses down the length of it. “Already got me wrapped around your little finger.”

His lips tickle you as his facial hair brushes along you in his fast movements, and you nearly giggle, holding back at the last moment, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing your laugh just yet. You sigh contentedly and lean back into him, fighting a sudden yawn.

“You all tired out?” Joel asks quietly, lips pressed close to your ear. You shiver at the vibrations of his rich timbre and inadvertently snuggle a little closer as goosebumps creep along your skin. Joel rubs your back in response, pulling you in tighter.

You nod, mumbling out a yes and Joel responds by gently rolling you over onto the bed, laying your head on the pillow. He’s curled up to you in an instant, arm thrown over your chest all the way to your arm on the other side, letting his fingers rub there.

“You get some rest, it’s been a big day, huh?”

“It has…” you mumble in reply, hesitantly resting your hand on his arm that covers your chest. It starts to feel like some semblance of normal, cuddling with Joel. You’d never experienced something like this, this closeness.

“G’night,” he mumbles into your skin, kissing it one more time before you notice him going more slack, starting to settle into that dazed, half sleepy state. You look over at him, blinking slowly with a deep tiredness, just watching his face in this calm, non-threatening state. He looks handsome like this, a little vulnerable and sweet, someone you could pretend is holding you right now just so you feel taken care of and cared for. You wish you could read him, trace the weathered lines on his face and find out just who he really is, which version of the many different Joel’s he’s shown you he truly is.

You fall asleep trying to figure it out.

Your eyes flutter open, finding the room still dark. You imagine it has only been a few hours since you fell asleep, but you woke with your stomach aching, hunger tearing through you. You realize the only thing you’ve eaten is the bread and cheese Joel fed you, and it makes your stomach growl again.

Joel has mostly rolled off of you, just an errant hand laid across your upper arm as he sleeps, body sprawled out on the bed. You lay as still as can be for a few moments, checking just how deep he’s sleeping before you slip out of bed, on the prowl for a midnight snack. You don’t think Joel would mind, would he? He’d fed you earlier, promised that part of what he’d do to help you here is to share his provisions with you, keep you full. You spot a knit blanket on the back of a wooden chair in the corner of the bedroom and throw it around your shoulders, shivering as you snuggle your naked body underneath it and relish in the warmth.

It’s dark in the kitchen, but you don’t dare flick on the light, happy to scavenge by way of the small glow from the open refrigerator. You end up tearing off some more of the bread, careful to not take too much from Joel’s provisions. Your eyes drift around the room as you chew happily, taking it in now that you’re here alone, gaze free to roam without any questions from Joel. You stop when you land on your backpack, slumped near the door, and your boots, tucked right where you’d left them when you’d arrived. How was that only yesterday? It feels like an entire lifetime has passed since then. Like you’re a different person than when you’d first entered the threshold of that door, shaking and terrified, barely hanging on. Now… you still weren’t sure where you landed, but you were certainly changed.

Your threadbare coat hangs where Joel must have decided to leave it when you’d taken your shower. All of your things calling out to you, screaming red, like a test that he’d left for you. To test your loyalty, to see your obedience. Everything you’d need to disappear from this cabin, all in one little space. Your heart starts to race, your mouth dry as the bread seems to go sour on your tongue.

You could leave right now, if you wanted. Take your chances. Let fate decide if you’d starve on your own or lead you to a new community - those people in Jackson - who might take care of you. You could learn. You were capable of survival, you knew you were. You could learn to hunt and fish and start fires on your own, to live off the land and not be scared of the hidden horrors of the world. Yes, you could leave right now, escape the uncertainty of Joel’s moods and promises, and learn.

You bite your lip anxiously, eyes in a trance as you stare at your backpack, with it holding the memories of those two weeks on your own where you fought and scraped by and nearly froze to death. You blink and turn your head back towards the fridge. Maybe you aren’t cut out for life on the road. Maybe you’re too soft for it. And maybe some more of that sheep’s cheese doesn’t sound so bad right now.

You open the fridge back up, peering inside to look for that little wrapped package you’d seen Joel pull from earlier. You nearly jump out of your skin when Joel’s voice cuts into the silent room - you’d been too absorbed in your own thoughts to even hear the creak of the old floorboards announcing his movements upstairs.

“The hell’re you doin?” his voice booms out in that controlled, stern tone that makes you want to listen. You whip your head around from where you’re crouched at the fridge, rummaging through it and see Joel stepping off the bottom of the staircase and into the main room. He hasn’t bothered to put anything on, like he was in a rush to see if you were down here, if you’d snuck off in the night. His naked body moves powerfully, muscles on display, and yet all you can focus on is what’s between his legs - his soft cock swinging almost tauntingly as he approaches you with such an angry aura.

“I - I was hungry… starving. I thought I’d -“ you start, teeth clicking together in a fearful grimace as he cuts you off.

“Yeah? Sure you’re not tryna run off again? Ransack my fridge and leave?” He’s already questioning you heatedly, reaching where you stand and slamming the fridge shut behind you and pressing you close to the door.

You scramble in your mind to find the words to make him understand, shrinking in, afraid of what he’s capable of doing to you. “Wh - no, no I was… look at me, I have nothing on, I wouldn’t be running out like this, right?” You gesture down to your body, only draped in the small knit blanket.

“Poor excuse, darlin’,” he sneers, looking down at you. The moonlight spilling in through the kitchen window casts menacing shadows across his rugged face. He narrows his eyes as he waits for you to further dig yourself out of this hole.

“I - I swear it, I haven’t eaten much, remember? J-just that bread and cheese, and I woke up hungry.” You plead and see him soften just enough to want to let up a little bit, but his face hardens again at the last second. You realize he’s scared, the hint of it behind his wild eyes showing for just a moment. He’d really run down here thinking he’d find you gone for good and that had scared him, an emotion you wouldn’t have expected from Joel. He has weaknesses and fears after all.

He steps a little closer and you can feel his cock, now half hard pressing between your legs. You fight the urge to wince, afraid he’s about to press it further.

“Hard to believe w’the way you were runnin’ off earlier. Not desperate to get away from me anymore now that I fucked that little pussy so good w’my fingers? Didn’t jus’ get what you want from me and wanna split?” You can tell he doesn’t even fully believe what he’s saying, he just wants to taunt you, remind you that he’s more powerful, that he holds all of the cards. He grips your cheeks, squishing them together and holding your head steady, inspecting you for another moment, as if he can get the truth out of you just by reading your face. His head leans forward and he holds you in place as he sucks on your neck, pulling your skin between his lips harder and harder. He lets go and keeps himself nuzzled tight to your neck as he speaks.

“Y’don’t do anythin’ like this again without wakin’ me up.” He squeezes your cheeks a little harder before releasing it, keeping his face buried against your neck. “‘S my job to take care of you, remember? Don’t wanna catch you like this again, yeah?”

“Y-yes,” you stutter, breathing a sigh of relief. One that’s short lived when Joel pulls another patch of skin into his mouth, using his teeth this time - you feel the slight nibble as he scrapes his teeth on your soft skin and you whimper quietly when it starts to hurt.

“J-joel…” you whine, shifting uncomfortably, the heat of his body so close making you squirm and break out in a sweat.

“No,” he cuts you off, wrapping a hand around your arm and another around your waist, holding you in place. “If you’re here,” he says, stopping to flick his tongue along his recent mark, “You’re gonna refer to me as a few special names goin’ forward, okay? Teach you a little respect towards me.”

“I- I respect you,” you blurt out desperately, your eyes wide and searching the room for anything that might help you get out of this. Joel’s hold is absolute, as you’ve learned several times now. You’re suddenly unsure once again, his frightening behavior reminding you just who you’re living with now. You don’t dare to call him a monster, even in your thoughts, because that would be admitting what you’ve been desperately avoiding. You’re attracted to a monster, inexplicably fixated by him, lured in with his sweet offerings and chance at a new life. Worst of all, you’ve already given yourself over to him, let him drag you further into his clutches.

“You’ve been s-so kind and helpful, you fed me, everything…” you add on in a soft lilt, hoping he takes mercy on you.

He stays silent for a moment, his lips hovering above your skin, only his hot breath fanning across it. “Then show it,” he says in a deep rumble. “You’re gonna call me daddy, sweetheart. ‘Cause I’m here to take care of you. And a good girl always listens to her daddy, doesn’t she?”

He sucks again. Harder this time, the burn and sting shooting out from where he abuses your delicate skin.

“She does…” you choke out.

“That’s right. I’m gonna be your everything, sweetheart. Your daddy, your sir, your master. And when you address me, you’ll address me as such, yeah? Show that you’re mine… show me respect.”

“M-mhm…” you whimper, swallowing with your lips pressed tightly together, the pain of him sucking on your neck after each little speech becoming more and more unbearable. It hurts, but something about the way he’s speaking, the concept of his domination over you, the way you can tell it comes from some completely twisted place of care, sends a warm skittering down your spine. Maybe you’re just as sick as he is if any part of you enjoys this, even the small, deeply hidden bit that seems to be growing with each encounter you have with Joel.

“And when I’m done w’you here tonight,” he murmurs, bringing up a hand to trace his fingers gently along your quickly bruising skin, “You won’t be able to see yourself in the mirror without knowin’ who you belong to. Show everyone who dares lay eyes on my girl that I’ve got you, that I’m the one keepin’ you safe and fed and fucked.”

“Yes… you are…” you whimper out complicitly into a soft cry when he bites your neck again, his hot mouth attaching like his life depends on it.

“So you’re gonna be a good girl, yeah? Behave and listen to daddy’s rules?” He speaks breathlessly, his cock fully hard as he feels the power coursing through his veins, the evidence of it pressing firmly against your thighs. He feels you nod against where he rests his lips, but it’s not enough.

“Say it, princess. Say ‘I’m a good girl, and I’ll behave and listen to daddy’s rules.’”

You gasp as his teeth sink into your flesh, as hard as they’ve gone yet, feeling nearly like they may have drawn blood. “I- I-“ you breathe out, clutching at his arm, digging your nails in. It only spurs him on, his lips dragging back just to suck the spot relentlessly. It brings tears to your eyes immediately, your mind only focused on the pain now.

“Say. It.” Joel’s voice cuts through and your eyes flash open after a few tears roll down your cheeks.

“I’m a good girl…” you whimper, voice cutting out into another cry as he assaults another spot on your neck.

“And?”

“I’m a good girl a-and I’ll behave and l-listen to daddy’s rules…” Your breath whooshes out as he stops, relief flooding your body when he places a light kiss on one of the sore, bruised spots. A few tears roll down your cheeks, spilling over from the plethora of them along your lower lids.

“Mmm, good girl,” he says more gently, pulling back to look over your face. He frowns, and it nearly startles you to see him have a look that isn’t that one of sick satisfaction that he’s worn so often.

“When you’re daddy’s girl, you’re gonna be so well taken care of, I promise ya. I know you’re scared, and it ain’t easy when I’m bein’ so firm w’you. Just want you to understand…” he pauses, dragging a finger along your cheek, swiping a tear and glancing down at it glistening on his finger. His body is still close, pressed right against yours.

“That I’m doin’ it for your own good. So you know I mean it all. I won’t hurt ya unless you disobey me, yeah? If you’re not a good girl, you’re gonna have some punishments. Do you understand?”

You nod hesitantly, your brows furrowed and trying to process all of the information he’s throwing at you.

“Y’need some sleep, look at you,” he says with a shake of his head, taking in your disheveled state, swaying where you stand as a few more tears roll down your cheeks. He feels a pang spearing his heart at your weary, dejected stance, body trembling openly at his proximity. He knows he did this to you, made you this broken little bird he could grasp in his hands and crush with his words alone, but he did it for your own good. He tells himself this sentence for what feels like the millionth time, absolving his guilt in a single second. You need him, deserve the unrelenting care he’ll pour out once you fully give yourself over to him. Anytime now… with your cracks showing more and more, your desperation to please him not as well hidden as you might think.

“You’ll feel better in the mornin’, hm?” Joel says when you don’t answer him.

You shrug slightly, keeping your shoulders rolled up, feeling defensive as Joel rests his fingers on your arm more gently now. “We’ll talk more then,” he says decidedly, making the decision for the both of you as he sidles up next to you and puts an arm around you, his hand resting on the small of your back.

You begin to walk nearly catatonically back towards the stairs with Joel’s guidance. His hands slide to your hips and squeeze as you move up the stairs in a daze, exhaustion overtaking you. You swear you’re tired down to your very cells, every piece of your being sapped and scraped thin right now.

“Thank you,” you murmur in a whisper when Joel helps you shrug the blanket off of your shoulders, laying it tidily back on the chair where you’d found it.

“You’re welcome,” he responds, kissing the top of your head. You’re moved to the bed, body soft and yielding for him to place you where he wishes, finding you a place wrapped right in his arms just as you were earlier.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” he whispers, lips flitting against your hair and cheek when he senses your tension. “Jus’ be good, don’t do that again, okay? Don’t wanna have to chain you to the bed while we sleep, would we?”

Your mouth sags open, chest pulling tight at his threat, the way it had rolled off his tongue like it was nothing, no humor or jesting behind it. When he’d said the word punishment he’d meant it in the most serious sense. Things like chaining you up, biting your neck until it was bruised, bleeding, and throbbing, and the likely long list of things he had lined up that you couldn’t even envision if you tried.

“N-no, you’ll never need to do that, I w-won’t…” you reply after composing yourself for a brief moment.

“Never say never,” Joel whispers with a conceited smirk. “You may find yourself askin’ me to do it someday, princess. Beggin’ me…”

You let out a breathy scoff of a laugh, mostly out of discomfort, but Joel hardly notices, busy tucking you into the crook of his neck as he puts an arm behind your head.

“You’ll see someday, babygirl, you’ll see… now let’s get some sleep.”

You stare into the dark of the room, head rising and falling with the movements of Joel’s chest while he falls back asleep. You hate that he smells good right now, that the hair of his chest feels so gorgeous and manly under your fingertips. You hate that you feel comfortable right now, safe, despite everything he’s done to you. You hate everything about all of it, but you don’t hate… him. It makes you sick, your stomach turning as you fight the urge to cry yet again.

You start to think back to your backpack and boots, waiting for you by the door. Their enticing siren call is louder than ever, beckoning you away from here.

You could learn to survive out there. You know you could.

You peek up at Joel’s face again, willing yourself to read him, the same thoughts swirling through your head from earlier tonight. You slowly reach your hand up and touch the lines on his face with your fingertips - around his eyes, his forehead, his cheeks. Ever so gently you move along his face, and Joel’s mouth twitches as he sleeps, morphing into a soft smile.

There he is. That is Joel. That has to be him. That soft smile, a sweet man who wants to care about you. That wants a companion, someone to spend his life with, not someone to hurt.

You sigh and close your eyes, dropping your hand and shifting your body to mold even closer to his, finding comfort in his large, imposing form rather than fear right now.

Yes, you think as your eyes flutter and you drift off, you could learn. Maybe it would just be an entirely different set of lessons.

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