#amen

[respectthepetty]

I am delighted that the plot of My Stubborn is arguing and fucking.

So the sex is plot relevant

because

the

plot

is

sex

[dailyeffectiveprayer]

Rest. God is handling every detail.

[ginandvodka-riley]

Random rookie: God, Y/N is so hot. The way her lips curve into the prettiest smile is so sexy, and when she wears those―

Soap: She’s your Lieutenant’s woman.

Random rookie: I know, but it’s not a sin to look at her, right? I mean, she’s nice and hot, the sin here would be not to notice her.

Soap: She has a dick.

Random rookie:

Soap: And a big one if I may say, veiny with heavy balls and―

Random rookie: What’s wrong with you man?! Stop it!

Gaz: He’s not lying tho, her dick’s so big it pays taxes.

Random rookie: JESUS FUCKING CHRIST STOP IT!

Price: *Laughing internally while enjoying the chaos*

[frogsdeservelovetoo]

the only religion that counts

this shit boring as hell

[inbabylontheywept]

I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be

a). I needed to watch that car and

b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.

It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.

Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.

So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.

She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?

And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:

"Because it was foretold."

And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.

I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.

[alrightbuckaroo]

lord please take chappell roan's pain and frustration and give it to johnny depp

[northerexplorer-blog]

God sends people at the right moment. If you are against him, then you must have escaped Stupidville, and need to return to your domicile immediately. The big bad republicans might get you.

[luckthebard]

The crossover my baseball girl side never expected

[maleficore]

tfw you told your boyfriend to stand up for himself more so he decides to execute a man and seize the Fereldan throne on a whim

[daddyfuckedme]

[misaothewitch]

[virgosenterlude]

[pestocavatappi]

people on twt talking abt how if they were Phil & Dan posted a thirst trap w them in the corner they'd go insane but PHIL posted this. he was showing off his hot emo bf 😭😭😭 woof 😭😭😭😭😭

[dailyeffectiveprayer]

God, when I get impatient, remind me that Your timing is perfect, even when mine isn’t. Help me trust the process. In Jesus Name, amen.

[fyeaheddiemunson]

The holy trinity of tank tops