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sehlimedaminestuff · 7 years

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Noises in my head

My Name is Mohamed Amine Sahli, people Like to call me Med like a short form for Moha’Med’ lol… Mohamed, you Know like that peaceful prophet from that religion called Islam that you may heard about at CNN or FOX news, I like to laugh with people about that often.. I grew up in this cute small family to a dad that wanted me to be successful at life, and that professor mom that will make everything about education and her educational system is what rolls at the house, my first ear-gasm experience was when I first heard pink Floyd at the age of 12 in that small corner of my room I remember the song it was comfortably numb, a room that I decorated with photos of jet fighters and f16’s.. that dream that vanished with time… I cried I laughed with family, I slept next to mom at thunder storming nights, while my dad kept kicking me out haha… my dad.. my dad is a whole other story my Pa as I wanna call him, is that engineer that grew up in the era of Pres Bourguiba he dreamt of building his country as one of the engineers that the country needed after the independence to catch up to the rest of the world… at this point you can tell we’re a small family with big hopes… I lived a cute life with them I never needed friends cuz my parents were my best friends they supported me like none did... I remember telling my dad ‘’I am going to America I am going to have fun, it’s America you know like the series ‘friends’ that we grew up on, you know that rock song that rock song that I heard at the age of 12 at my rooms corner? He answered me saying ‘’ toughen up son, the pink life you lived will never last when you re by your own’’ I traveled overseas and witnessed how life can be a big ocean where you can find small fish and yet giant sharks… 3 years away from family, living as a soldier on his mission to find the purpose of his existence.. What is the purpose of my existence? Is it time to let go of the rope? Or should I keep holding up to it? Like that Titanic movie, was it good for Jack that he surrendered to the ocean or should’ve he suffered and hang on tight to that piece of the wood that maybe could’ve saved his life... it’s the small things in life that holds us to it, it’s that small top of the rope.. why even those small things doesn’t exist at my life… I used to not cair about people that had depressions cuz why would they feel depressed in the presence of all this light around them... Until my own light started turning into darkness little by little... ‘Depression’? as much as this word freaks out a lot of people... Depression has been my loyal friend the only one and only that didn’t ditch me at least.. haha why the world is so ugly... Where that childhood innocence did go? We all thought as kids that all our small problems will disappear as soon as we grow up... But we grew up to find even bigger problems… to find out that there are people in this world that can be more scary than that thunder that used to freak me out and make me jump next to my mom.. A world that kills children and laugh at the suffer of others.. A world that will refuse to give a piece of bread to a homeless guy on the street section but doesn’t hesitate a bit to offer feasts to people that have those green pieces of paper, something the modern world like to call money.. a piece of green paper that categorize the human beings these days, separate the good from the bad, the ugly from the beautiful.. a disgusting materialist world… these were the words of that man that I found at the lights begging those hypocrites that the least thing we can call them is: ’’humans’’… after I invited him on a meal and my 10 minutes meeting with him opened my eyes on a lot of things.. in front of me, was a man that didn’t care about these green piece of papers called money he didn’t care about who’s his president or if his human rights are attacked or not, he lives by the street rules now, the only world that he said was ‘’god bless you my son’’ like with all that frustration in his face.. with all these things in life that brought him on his knees he still believe in god bless , he still hanging to that small rope, he didn’t surrender to the ocean, maybe god will bless us all one day if we know how to treat each others like real ‘’god’’ creatures… I guess I am not gonna listen to those voices in my head today.. Until the next one…

#thoughts #noises #seriously though

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