sej2020

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 8

Chapter 7

3 Months Later

‘Captain, no Y/N still?’ queried Barba sauntering into the women’s office.

‘Seriously Rafa?’ Said Olivia sharply.

‘What? What did I do?’ asked Barba in genuine confusion.

‘You! You broke her heart, she transferred to IAB for one month…. Three months ago’ said Olivia.

‘Because of me?’ Said Barba shocked, taking a seat shacking slightly in shock.

‘Don’t give yourself all the credit, IAB actually went after her father and his friends… apparently Y/N’s friendship with Tucker has quite a few advantages’ said Olivia.

‘Good they should pay for what they did’ said Barba sharply. ‘Is she coming back?’

‘I truly don’t know, she’s working through it, that much I know…’ sighed Olivia taking off her glasses, throwing them on top the paperwork on her desk. ‘What happened Rafa?’

‘I messed up Liv, I completely freaked out about how I was behaving and just…’ said Barba running a hand through his hair in frustration, messing up his otherwise perfectly styled hair.

‘You love her’ said Olivia simply.

‘I do, I was so scared of losing her friendship that I’ve screwed up big time, she makes me a better person’ sighed Barba.

‘Then you need to tell her’ said Olivia smiling.

‘You think she’ll listen now?’ scoffed Barba.

‘You’ll never know unless you try’ shrugged Olivia.

‘Where even is she, the IAB office?’ asked Barba determined.

‘No, she goes to the gym on fourth, she’s been taking a large amount of self defence classes’ smirked Olivia watching the man push to his feet.

****************************************************

You panted heavily, as your trainer called time on your session giving you a grin while you stood bent over in the the middle of the ring, hands on your knees.

‘That really was excellent’ grinned Sam, once you stood up straight.

‘I don’t feel excellent’ you grumbled.

‘No pain, no gain, three months ago you wouldn’t have made it five minutes so be proud of how far you’ve come’ smiled Sam encouragingly.

‘Thank you Sam truly’ you smiled.

‘It’s what you pay me for’ smirked Sam bouncing away when you went to playfully slap his shoulder.

‘Same time next week’ grinned Sam as he left under the ropes.

Shaking your head in amusement you left the ring and made your way to the punching bag. It was after five to ten minutes of you kicking and punching the bag did you get the sensation of someone watching you.

Spinning round, you felt your breath leave your lungs. Standing before you impeccably dressed in his three piece suit, hands shoved into his pockets, his signature smirk on his lips, stood Barba.

‘What the hell you doing here?’ you asked bluntly.

‘I’ve come to grovel…. Will you let me?’

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 7

Chapter 6

‘Has Barba seemed a bit off to you?’ You asked Olivia as the two of strolled through Central Park with Noah, coffee clutched in your hands.

‘No more than usual, why do you ask?’ queried Olivia keeping an eye on her exuberant son as he walked ahead.

‘I don’t know… since you know, I just feel like I haven’t seen him’ you shrugged.

‘Well our workload hasn’t been particularly hectic, want me to have a word?’ asked Olivia.

‘No, that’s fine, maybe he just has personal stuff going on’ you shrugged.

‘Alright, well let’s get this tyke back to Lucy so we can tackle that paperwork’ said Olivia gathering the giggling toddler into her arms.

The pair of you went back to the precinct to complete your mountain of paperwork. It was later that afternoon when the squad dropped off the files that you swallowed, realising that it was you that normally took over the files when you had a lull between cases.

Picking up the files, you made your way to the DA’s office. Smiling at Carmen you softly knocked on the door to his office, opening it up you poked your head in finding the man scowling at files and laptop on his desk.

‘I have the squads files for you’ you said once you were stood in front of the desk.

‘You can put them there’ grunted Barba indicating a clear spot on his desk, not looking up at you.

‘Raf? Have I done something to upset you?’ You asked placing the files down.

‘No, why would you think that?’ Said Barba still refusing to look at you, continuing his work.

‘Well, did finding out what happened to me make you think less of me?’ you asked your frustration starting surface.

‘Of course not, why are me asking such things? asked Barba glancing up quickly before dropping his gaze.

‘Because you won’t hangout like we did, I’ve not seen you for a while’ you said softly, not wanting to come across as needy.

‘I’ve been swamped with work, I don’t think I’ll have any time for that at the moment’ said Barba tightly.

‘Right ok, I’ll leave you to your work’ you said sadly making your way to the door.

Your hand on the handle you turned back.

‘I’m sorry you’re disgusted by what my Father did to me…. And I miss you Raf’ you said before leaving the office.

You managed to keep yourself in check, it wasn’t until you were alone in the elevator that a tear escaped down your cheek.

[sej2020]

I Needed Help!

‘He’s dead…. And this is all your fault, we were supposed to be safe’ you sobbed over the body of Cedric Diggory.

‘Y/N, my girl, come on don’t say such things, was it Voldemort’ said Dumbledore earnestly, the Minister listening in.

‘No! This is you, I never wanted to be apart of this and now he’s dead…. This is your fault!’ You cried.

Running from the areana, passing the (now you know); fake Moody some parchment as you passed by.

‘Miss Potter, a room for the summer?’ beamed Tom as you stood in the doorway to the Leaky Couldron.

‘Yes… well I was wondering, how much would it be to buy a room?’ You asked biting your lip.

‘Hmm, I’ll make you a deal, you work for me running this place and I’ll reduce your rent… it’ll be your residence until you graduate Hogwarts…. After that….’ spoke Tom softly watching as his words made your smile brighten your face.

‘Really?’ you breathed.

‘Really, come on’ said Tom snapping his fingers and having all your things float behind you both as you made your way up the stairs.

Leaving you to get settled, Tom went downstairs to organise your dinner and your new employment. Coming back down the stairs a little bit later, you had never felt so elated and care free. Over your dinner Tom have you a list of duties and you were shocked to find you would have the afternoon off everyday and only work a couple of hours in the evening.

And so, you hit the ground running, your first week, getting up early to serve coffee’s, teas and breakfast to guests and customers who stopped in on their way to work. You found the shock of people to be amusing at first, but then the press arrived. Luckily Tom, along with the regular customers dispersed anyone trying to get an interview or a signature. You had never experienced that kind of protection before.

‘Thank you for meeting me Mr Malfoy’ you said one evening, both of you sat a table with tea being served.

You had contacted the man, sending off a letter expressing your need for help. Ever since the Tri Wizard Tournament escapade and the resurrection of the Dark Lord, (who you may or may not have struck up an understanding with), you were determined because of the abuse you suffered at home, you would have Dumbledore removed as your magical guardian.

‘Of course, I have to admit I am intrigued about what it is you wish to speak about… after all you and my son aren’t the closest of friends are you?’ said Lucius raising an elegant eyebrow.

‘No that’s true, but considering the events of last month I think it’ll be worth your time’ you said receiving an earnest nod.

‘Indeed so you mentioned seeking legal advice?’ stared off Lucius sipping his tea.

‘I want advice on how I can get Dumbledore away from being my magical guardian, muggles call it emancipation I’m hoping the magical world have something similar’ you said bluntly.

‘You want to legally become an adult…. We call it manumit, and yes that is something I can help you with’ said Lucius with a cunning smile.

‘Good, where do I start?’ you asked.

‘You are already there with you living independent and having a employment contract, I will speak to my family’s lawyer and his associates, and he will get in contact’ smirked Lucius.

‘Thank you, I know you don’t owe me anything and this is more because of… you know’ you said gratefully.

‘It is…. But there is something very Slytherin about you… it is intriguing’ said Lucius voicing the words the Dark Lord said to you also.

‘Yeah well maybe there was something in the hat wanting to put me in the house of snakes’ you smirked as the man choked on his tea.

‘Y/N?’

‘Uncle Moony’ you beamed finding the man stood awkwardly with a group of people.

Getting to your feet, you embraced the man relishing in the kiss the man pressed to your head when his arms wrapped around you.

‘Good to see you cub’ said Lupin, breaking apart the embrace to cup your face.

‘You too, umm Uncle Moony?’ you queried, pointing with your eyes to the people you didn’t know stood with him.

‘Oh, right, well we are umm’ coughed Lupin uncomfortably glancing between the group, you and Lucius Malfoy.

‘Dumbledore sent you’ you said softly stepping from the man, suddenly on edge.

‘Well yes…’ started Lupin.

‘We are taking you with us, your home is now unprotected because you selfishly decided the protection of your family was not something of importance to you’ said a tall man you didn’t recognise.

‘Kingsley’ warned Lupin.

‘And just who the hell do you think you are lecturing me on those people’ you spat. ‘They are the reason I’m undernourished, why my body is covered in bruises… they are no relatives of mine and I owe them nothing’

‘You Know Who, has returned you’re in danger’ said a women with purple hair.

‘What! Don’t be stupid’ you scoffed.

‘You are coming to headquarters Potter’ said someone from the back, another person you didn’t know.

‘I am not, if you honestly thought I was going to blindly go with a group of people I didn’t know, you are mistaken’ you said looking at Lupin sadly.

You drew your wand quickly just as grown adults pulled out there’s, to your surprise Lucius Malfoy was quickly up on his feet with his own wand. Lupin dove in front of you, shielding your body with his, facing the group he had arrived with drawing his own wand.

‘What is the meaning of this?’ said Tom, furious standing beside Lupin. ‘You have no business drawing wands against a fourteen year old girl, and the Girl Who Lived along with it’

‘Stay out of this Tom’ said Kingsley.

‘No, Miss Potter is under my employ, and therefore under my charge, I suggest you leave before I call on the Ministry’ said Tom firmly motioning over to his wife who stood by the fireplace with a pot of floo powder waiting.

‘Leave Kingsley’ said Lupin.

‘Lupin think about what you’re doing’ warned Kingsley.

‘Leave, and I will be informing the auror department’ said Lucius.

‘Lupin’

‘Go, I’m staying with my cub’ replied Lupin firmly, reaching a hand behind him, squeezing your hand when you slipped your empty hand into his.

The group seemed to come to their senses especially when they found some regulars drawing their wands, pointing them at the group. Finally they left, making you deflate back to your chair, tears now dropping down your cheeks.

'Well Draco was right about one thing, it's never boring around you Miss Potter, I will contact my family's lawyers, I suggest surrounding yourself with people you trust, although it seems like you have a good backing here... Tom, Lupin' said Lucius with a nod, before leaving.

‘Hey’ said Lupin softly, crouching in front of you.

‘Uncle Moony’ you sobbed brokenly.

'What's going on cub?' asked Lupin, smiling at Tom as he left you both to talk.

'I can't do it anymore, I needed help... and I didn't know what else to do' you sobbed

‘And you have it unconditionally, Snuffles was waiting at headquarters for you, if I can borrow Hedwig, I’ll let him know what’s going on’ said Lupin, gripping your hands in your lap.

'Uncle Moony, can you stay with me?' you begged.

'Of course... I'll have to check with Tom because of you know' said Lupin softly, curling hair behind your ear.

'Thank you' you whispered.

'Come here' said Lupin opening his arms, grunting slightly when you practically body slammed into him, hugging him tightly.

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 6

Chapter 5

You sat at your desk filling out your days paperwork, when the one voice you really didn’t want to hear, truly ever again.

‘Ah Y/N, my darling daughter’ came your Father’s voice, making you cringe and want to run for the hills.

‘What the hell do you want?’ you all but spat, standing to your feet and taking a step back.

‘Come on mon Cheri, don’t be like that’ said your Father sickly sweet.

‘What do you want Dad?’ you asked shivering at the man’s grin.

‘I’ve missed my baby girl, is that such a bad thing… me and the boys are having a catch up, you know Mikey’s getting married, we… are having a little celebration, he’s requested his favourite girl should be there’ grinned your Dad.

‘No….’ You gasped, memories flooding your mind, stepping back into Finn, who you hadn’t realised had stood to back you up.

‘Can I help you?’ asked Olivia, sternly getting in between you and your Dad as Finn guided you away, to the on call room.

You couldn’t breathe, ringing in your ears, as the blood pounded in your head. Tears furiously falling down your cheeks, your mind plunging you into memories you thought you had buried.

‘Come here sweet girl’

Voices whispering in your ear, as you sat on a strangers lap in your school uniform. Hands travelling all over your body, groping and pawing at your most private areas. Gripping your waist and forcing you to grind down until the man came undone in his own pants, before being passed to the next. How generous of your Dad, not letting his friends actually rape you.

You didn’t fully register anything that happened around you or in the squad room. But what seemingly did help you was the arrival of a familiar warming scent, dragging you onto a protective embrace.

‘Shh, Y/N, come on, you can do this’ whispered Barba as he held you, rubbing your back.

You sobbed uncontrollably, tucking your face into the mans neck, tears cascading down. You let Barba move you the best he could so you were using the entire cot, the upper half of your body laying on top of Barba.

'Come on Y/N, I'm right here' said Barba holding you tightly, rubbing your back until your sobs began to stop.

'I'm sorry' you croaked when you stopped crying, the tears dried on your cheeks.

'You have nothing to be sorry for... just so you know as I walked in he was saying some... actually it doesn't matter what he said all you need to know is he was manhandled out the precinct, I think he might have fallen' said Barba softly, stroking your hair.

'I know what he was saying, probably everything I've heard him say to me before' you sniffed, closing your eyes, breathing in Barba's scent, calming you down, making you feel safe.

'None of it's true' said Barba firmly.

'Isn't it' you whispered.

'No, it's not' said Barba. 'Will it help you to talk about it?'

'I don't... I can't have everyone know... I just I can't' you said your body beginning to tremble.

'Hey shh, if you want to tell me you can, nothing you tell me will ever leave this room I promise, if you want to tell just Olivia the same thing applies, and if you don't want to say anything at all and would rather stay like we are now.... we can' said Barba softly.

'I think I want to talk... but to you and Liv, I can't have anybody else know' you said.

'Ok... lets stay here a bit longer' suggested Barba kissing the top of your head when you tried to bury your face further into his neck.

Freezing at what he had done, but getting no reaction from you, Barba quickly busied himself with his phone so as to distract him from his own mind.

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 5

Chapter 4

‘Hi Carmen’ you smiled as you walked into the office with a large file clutched in your arms.

‘Oh, good you can deal with him’ said Carmen flippantly holding out some thin files to you.

‘Why? What has he done?’ You asked your lips twitching in amusement, allowing Carmen to slip her files on top of yours.

‘Been a pain in the ass all afternoon, tell him I’ve gone and I don’t care if it’s earlier than normal’ said Carmen, grabbing her bag from under her desk.

‘Leave him to me’ you sighed, knowing it to bad if Carmen was this angry.

‘Good luck’ were Carmens departing words.

‘Carmen where are those files’ came a snarky call from the office.

Taking a deep breath, you nudged open the door with your foot as your arms were full of files. Finding the office slightly dark, your snarky ADA sat with just his desk lamp on, four law books strewn across his desk, legal pads a folders piled around him.

‘These’ you huffed slightly under their weight, walking and standing before his desk.

‘What are you doing here? Where’s Carmen?’ Said Barba irritated.

‘She’s gone’ you shrugged, putting the folders on one of the chairs in front of the desk.

‘What do you mean gone?’ said Barba a vein protruding on the side of his head.

‘Well apparently you’ve been behaving like a complete ass all afternoon…. How bad are they?’ you asked watching as the man scowled.

‘What?’ snapped Barba.

‘Your migraine Rafael, how bad?’ you asked again, keeping your voice soft as Barba stared at you.

‘Excruciating’ said Barba, deflating into his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose.

‘Idiot’ you muttered going around his side of the desk, opening his draw and pulling out his medication.

‘I don’t suppose you’ve had this’ you said popping out the pills, going to the bar cart and grabbing some water.

‘No’ sighed Barba opening his hand for you to drop the pills in his palm.

‘Take them’ you grunted, watching the man swallow them.

‘Go on, go sit on the couch’ you said, watching the man with narrowed eyes.

‘Yes Mum’ muttered Barba, complying none the less.

Leaving the room briefly you found a towel in the rather lavish bathroom, running it under the water and ringing it out, you re-entered the office. You found Barba spread out on the couch his arm thrown over his forehead.

‘Here’ you spoke softly, gently moving the man’s arm and placing the towel over his forehead and eyes.

Smiling as the man sighed, you quietly went about cleaning his office. Not disturbing too much of the work, you marked everything up and closed all the books and folders so the man could find his spot again. You then turned to organising the files you brought with you, ordering them in importance and relevance to the case you were investigating.

‘What you doing?’ whined Barba after forty minutes of you tidying.

‘Ah so we are feeling more human now’ you teased finding the man sitting up on the couch.

‘Mmm’ hummed Barba as you wondered over, sitting next to him.

‘Good, you owe Carmen a massive apology, I’ve never seen her go home before six before’ you said making the man whip his head to the side to look at you.

‘No!’ said Barba swallowing in guilt.

‘Oh yes….. Raf, it’s only six thirty now’ you said chuckling lightly at the man’s bewildered look.

‘I’ll get her favourite flowers and chocolates’ sighed Barba.

‘That’s probably a good idea… do you want to go home or determined to keep working?’ you asked.

‘Home….’ Sighed Barba.

‘Come on then… I’ll buy us dinner’ you said patting the man’s leg.

‘Sounds good to me, leave that there’ said Barba softly when you went to pick up the man’s files.

‘You sure?’ you asked frowning.

‘I’m sure’ smiled Barba, grabbing his briefcase and coat, escorting you out once sorted.

Getting to Barba’s apartment it was like reverse rolls from when you were stabbed. You gave out instructions for Barba to get showered and changed, while you ordered dinner and made yourself at home on the man’s lavish couch.

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 4

Chapter 3

‘What are you doing here?’ preened Barba, strutting out the courtroom after a guilty verdict was given.

‘Well I was on my way home and wanted to know the verdict…. I’m not here to see you councillor’ you smirked clutching your crutches.

‘Now that’s unfair, after all I got the bastard for you’ smiled Barba sweetly.

‘Well then you have my undying gratitude’ you said rolling your eyes.

‘Come on, why don’t I help you home’ said Barba, taking your rucksack from your shoulders, carrying it with his briefcase.

‘You sure you don’t want to go drinking with the squad?’ You asked as you hobbled next to the man, down the ramp, spotting the squad at the bottom of the steps.

‘No, I think my time would spent better off looking after the detective who’s testimony single-handedly brought down Rita, don’t you’ smirked Barba referring to the now furious defence attorney who stormed into her car.

‘Do you care for all us detectives?’ You asked, once you were settled in the car, Barba having rattled off your address to the driver.

‘Only the ones I like’ shrugged Barba typing on his phone next to you.

‘Well thank you I feel so special’ you said sarcastically.

‘Your welcome, Indian for dinner?’ asked Barba without missing a beat.

‘Oh please, I feel like I’ve been starved this past month’ you said, your mouth watering at the thought of some decent food.

‘Then I shall order all your favourites’ said Barba, finishing his typing and locking his phone.

‘Who are you? And what have you done with Barba?’ you asked narrowing your gaze.

‘What?’ asked Barba genuinely.

‘You… just… you know what never mind’ you said shaking your head.

‘I can be nice when I want to Y/N’ said Barba, to anyone that could be considered a teasing statement, but the way Barba said it, you could tell looking into the man’s eyes he meant every word.

‘I know you can Raf, it’s why I willingly hang out with you’ you smirked.

‘Well I was going to forego the why we don’t get stabbed lecture… but now’ said Barba before getting out the now stopped car.

‘Shit’ you muttered.

Hobbling into your apartment, Barba threw instructions at you, shower, get changed into your sleepwear and sit on the couch. Without much thought you complied, manuvering with one crutch in and out the shower, keeping your stitches covered.

Your body feeling clean, and warm, you walked into the living area, Barba settled on your couch. Brightly coloured socks set on your large foot rest, jacket thrown over the back with his tie, his equally bright suspenders on display, shirt sleeves rolled up.

‘You didn’t have to?’ You muttered, referring to your favourite tea waiting for you on one of your small tables that were dotted around your corner couch.

‘Of course I do… do you need to change your bandages?’ asked Barba.

‘No bandages just a sticky dressing I can do myself’ you sighed settling back into the couch, clutching your tea.

‘That’s better for you, want to watch something?’ asked Barba twiddling your TV remote in his hand.

‘You have a habit of making yourself at home, you do know that?’ you snorted, giggling when Barba winked.

‘I guess I’m just comfortable’ smiled Barba.

‘I can see that’ you said gesturing with your hand to his glass of whiskey he had poured himself.

‘Thank you for stocking my favourite, I’ll sort dinner, you stay here’ demanded Barba as a knock sounded at the door.

You watched in bemusement as Barba padded in his socks to the door, then back clutching a rather large bag of food, then to the kitchen bringing back plates and cutlery.

‘Anyone ever told you, you would make a wonderful house husband’ you commented as Barba handed you a plateful of food, having plated it up for you with a bit of everything, focusing now on his own.

‘Shh, it’s our secret’ smiled Barba settling next to you slightly closer to you.

Both of you laughed into your dinner, settling back into the couch happily putting on a mindless action movie.

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 3

Chapter 2

‘Y/N!’ shouted Olivia, finding you with a knife sticking out your side.

‘I… I got…. A shot’ you gasped the pain taking effect.

‘Ok, it’s ok save your strength, paramedics are here’ said Olivia.

You got lost in the pain and blood. Groaning as you were shifted from foot to gurney, an oxygen mask pressed to your face, floating in and out, the alleyway and faces of the team all becoming a blur.

You were rushed into surgery as soon as you arrived at the hospital. What you didn’t know was the waiting room being filled up by all your brothers and sisters in blue, even Tucker from IAB showed up.

‘Councillor’ said Olivia surprised, as the man weaved through the many people over to waiting squad.

‘I heard what happened, any news?’ said Barba.

‘Nothing still in surgery’ grunted Finn.

‘Right…. IAB sniffing round already?’ asked Barba critically watching Tucker.

‘Vultures’ said Rollins.

‘Will she need representation?’ asked Barba.

‘No, Tucker is just here as a colleague’ said Olivia referring to the two of having worked cases closely together in the past when you were a rookie.

‘Right’ snorted Barba.

‘Sergeant’ said the surgeon making his way over.

‘Yes’ said Olivia.

‘Your detective pulled through the surgery, but she’s lost a lot of blood, she’s going to have a long recovery, we will be keeping her in the ICU overnight, so right now she can’t have any visitors’ said the surgeon.

‘Ok, ok, thank you so much’ said Olivia in relief.

The entire room deflated, some clapping more in relief than anything else. One by one everyone began to leave, returning the next morning was just your squad sergeant. Finding your room, Olivia was shocked to find Barba already there, you sat up in bed slightly, pale looking while Barba sat with a case file in his lap, coffee in one hand along with his feet settled on the bed, brightly coloured socks on display as his shoes were on the floor.

‘Asshole’ you chuckled at whatever Barba had said.

‘Well I’m not the one who got themselves stabbed’ said Barba smirking taking a sip of his coffee.

‘So you choose torture?’ You asked, a smile on your face.

‘Yes’ said Barba simply.

‘Thanks….. hi’ you smiled at the squad who were stood quiet shocked in the doorway.

‘Y/N’ smiled Olivia.

‘I’m ok Liv’ you smiled at the women who had become a fierce friend.

‘Good, gave us all a right scare’ sighed Olivia.

‘Where are we with getting this bastard?’ you asked, ignoring Barba poking your leg with his toe.

‘That’s what I wanted to know’ said Barba narrowing his gaze on the sergeant.

‘Squads on their way to pick him up now’ said Olivia.

‘Good, I’ll come with you back to the precinct’ said Barba righting himself, packing away his file.

‘Rafael do me a favour’ you said before the two made it out the door.

‘What’s that?’ asked Barba.

‘Go after the bastard’ you said settling down with groan.

‘You got it’

Chapter 4

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 2

Chapter 1

‘Care to tell me how a serial killer was able to make bail then vanish’ stormed Barba.

‘We’ve put out a bolo, and all state lines have been sent details’ said Olivia. 

‘How the hell could you have lost this guy’ huffed Barba. 

‘Easy councillor, he has family money, that gives him quite an advantage, not to mention up until this point he was a well respected ME physician’ said Rollins. 

‘Seldom, you should have done your due diligence’ snapped Barba. 

‘Hey... I’ve already started tracking him, we know which clothes he’s taken, and I’m confident he’s making his way to Buffalo, they are going to pull the bus over at the station and do a passenger search then detain him’ you said coming into the room, carrying your laptop. 

‘He better be on that bus’ snapped Barba again, pulling out his phone. 

‘Mr Mayor’ said Barba staring at Olivia as he answered the phone. 

Shaking your head ignoring the man, you placed your laptop on top the table and took a seat. Waiting for any information to come through from your contacts in the FBI who were on the boarder. Barba chose to storm out after his phone call, his dramatics not bothering you in the slightest. You fed the team the relevant information, then filled out the paperwork with Finn as Carisi and Rollins were sent off to collect your convict.

‘Fancy a drink?’ asked Finn, as you both packed up having been told to head home.

‘Sure after this case, we’ll need more’ you snorted making your way with Finn.

‘Hey Munchie’ you grinned finding the older detective waiting for you both at the bar.

‘Hello kid’ smiled Munch, the three of you enjoying a drink at the bar, just like old times.

‘Councillor it’s been a while’ said Munch as he put on his coat.

‘Good to see you’ smiled Barba shaking his hand.

‘What do you need Barba? Rollins and Carisi have Rudnick in custody’ sighed Finn, the pair of you now finished putting on coats to join Munch on the New York pavement.

‘I’m off the clock, I was just wanting to have a word with Y/N’ said Barba.

‘Ok… it’s ok Finn I’ll see you later’ you smiled tapping the man’s arm lightly when he stood up straight next to you.

‘Can we get another one of these and a whiskey neat for me’ said Barba approaching the bar, shedding off his coat as you reclaimed your seat, your coat hanging on the back.

‘So, you going to tell me what’s this about?’ You asked taking a sip of your fresh drink.

‘I wanted to express my regret in the way I spoke to you earlier today, you actually did an excellent job today’ said Barba. 

‘Did I? Well that’s nice of you to say’ you said, the sarcasm evident in your tone. 

‘Come on, you going to make me say it’ said Barba his tell tale teasing smile on his lips. 

‘Well it would be nice to hear Rafael’ you scoffed. 

‘I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have been so snappish at you, I always value your work and thank you for tracking him down’ spoke Barba sincerely. 

‘You know I never cared how much you snap at us, I do understand your under immense pressure with this one’ you smiled nudging the man.

‘And you made me grovel anyway’ huffed Barba, making you giggle while the man took a sip of his drink. 

‘Of course’ you grinned.

‘The Mayor warned me that if I were to lose this, a re-evaluation into the floor might be in order’ revealed Barba.

‘Oh Raf, that’s rotten’ you said slightly stunned more by the man telling you than anything else.

‘That’s the problem with high profile cases’ shrugged Barba.

‘It’s not like you made him kill though is it’ you said.

‘No I did not, I have to review every case he’s ever given evidence for, there will probably be a ethics review’ shrugged Barba.

‘Not into you though?’ You asked slightly worried for the man.

‘Maybe’ shrugged Barba.

‘I’m sorry’ you spoke sincerely, taking hold of the man’s hand unconsciously.

‘Don’t be, thank you for listening,’ smiled Barba, twisting his hand over, linking your fingers squeezing your hand lightly.

‘Let’s get some food’ you suggested, letting go of his hand to grab a couple of menus.

‘Sure’

Chapter 3

[sej2020]

Better Me, Better You

Chapter 1

Chapter List 

‘Hey you’ said Barba settling on the edge of your desk in the precinct late one evening.

‘Hi’ you smiled, sitting back in your seat.

‘Don’t you know when your captain goes so can you?’ teased Barba lightly.

‘Mm, that would be true of I didn’t offer to do her paperwork so she could go home to her son’ you said placing your elbow on the chair arm, cupping your chin looking up at the man.

‘Silly girl…. Got much left or do I need to order in?’ asked Barba, getting up and grabbing a chair from another desk, wheeling it over.

‘What are you doing?’ you asked watching the man in amusement as he sat in the chair next to you and began organising your desk.

‘Well how do you expect to work in a mess like this?’ said Barba with a raised eyebrow. 

‘It’s not a mess, that’s the done pile, and that’s the load I’m starting now’ you said indicating the two piles. 

‘Have you actually done anything since ‘Liv left?’ asked Barba. 

‘I tried but it’s so boring Rafael’ you whined, Barba chuckling. 

‘Oh dear lord women, move, let me sort a system, you order dinner’ exasperated Barba, handing you his phone then using his foot to roll your chair away from the desk so he could take your place. 

Giggling you opened the man’s phone and ordered from your usual haunt, pleased to see the time would be under an hour for delivery. Once the order was sent you got to your feet and made your way to the break room, pulling out two mugs to pour two strong coffee’s. Returning to your desk with the now steaming mugs, you found Barba had organised three smaller piles, placing the work you had done in your done tray. 

‘You can start with this pile’ said Barba taking his mug from you as you settled back at your desk, tapping a pile with his fingers. 

‘And why this pile?’ you said flipping open the top folder. 

‘This is the papers I need’ said Barba smugly. 

‘Of course it is’ you snorted.

You spent the rest of the evening rolling your eyes at the mans instruction, but in no time you got all the necessary work completed, along with having a takeaway dinner all on Barba. 

‘What plans you got for tomorrow? It’s still your day off right?’ asked Barba as you dropped off the completed folders into the Captain’s office. 

‘It is... I haven’t thought much apart from having a lay in to be honest’ you said letting Barba put your coat on over your shoulders, handing you your bag. 

‘Fancy brunch tomorrow then? I’ll come pick you up around ten’ suggested Barba as the two of you made your way towards the elevator. 

‘Sure, that would be fun’ 

Chapter 2

[sej2020]

Nightmares

‘No…No!’

You gasped throwing yourself up, clutching your scar, sweat covering your body, your breathing coming out in gasps.

Another nightmare, the ever since it happened, Voldemort returning, you had been plagued by the man…. Monster’s return. Watching Diggory killed, over and over again. You might have been able to have escaped, returning the boys body to his father, as well as the treacherous rat. Turning him into the minister before you promptly collapsed had been a small price to pay considering everything of that year, having a free Sirius truly helped.

But still the nightmares came.

Since Sirius’s freedom and subsequent compensation, you had spent your summer with both Sirius and Remus Lupin. Despite being locked up in the house, you actually had fun this summer. Once you had moved on from the grief that is. Remus had helped you with your homework, getting it done during the first few days which left you to spend more time learning pranks from Sirius.

Once the order arrived things had changed, the house becoming more tense. Mostly because Sirius and Mrs Weasley kept bumping heads. You see Mrs Weasley didn’t exactly approve of you being in the order meetings, but Sirius was being insistent on the matter stating strongly that you had every right knowing what was going on as it pertained to your safety.

As your breathing got calmer you decided to make yourself a cup of tea. Slipping on your dressing gown and slippers, you crept down the stairs to the kitchen. Slipping in, you failed to notice the figure sat at the kitchen table nursing his own cup and studying some large tome on the table in front of him.

‘Y/N, what are you doing up?’ asked Remus as you softly shut the door making you jump.

‘Oh, er, hi Uncle Remus, sorry I just couldn’t sleep, so thought I would have some tea’ you said jumping slightly when the man spoke.

‘You had a nightmare again didn’t you?’ guessed Remus pushing to his feet to pour you a cup.

‘Yeah’ you sighed bowing your head.

‘Here’ smiled Remus holding up the fresh cup he had poured.

Smiling gratefully you walked round to the kitchen counter, taking the cup and clutching it in your hands.

‘Thank you’ you said.

‘No problem’ chuckled Remus.

‘What are you reading?’ you asked, taking a sip of tea.

‘Anything I can find on cursed scars, you’ve been having so many nightmares recently and I wanted to see if I could find anything that would help’ shrugged Remus, wondering back to his seat, you following as settling next to the man.

‘You don’t have to do that’ you said softly, touched by the man’s gesture.

‘Of course I do, someone has to be the sensible one, I can’t see Sirius reading can you’ said Remus smiling as you giggled.

‘I suppose not, I forget you’re the sensible one’ you grinned.

‘I have you know I’m capable of teaching you some pranks too’ sniffed Remus causing you to fall back laughing.

‘Do you want to talk about it?’ said Remus as the laughter died from your face all too quickly.

‘I do… but I don’t’ you said a tear rolling down your cheek without you realising it.

‘Come here’ said Remus, swishing his wand having the two cups of tea float, and the single chair by the large fireplace enlarge to fit you both.

Both of you settled down, Remus encouraging you to curl up against him, before summoning a blanket to cover you both. When settled, the cups carefully settled into your hands, it was things like this that made you love magic.

‘In your own time’ said Remus, wrapping his arm around you.

‘There’s nothing to say…. I watch it over and over again, his taunting, the flash of green, Cedric dead on the floor, each time I’m always further and further away….. if my scar was t hurting so bad, I could have done something’ you said staring into the fire.

‘Listen sweetheart, there was nothing that could have prepared you for that, but you did good, you fought and survived, getting not only Cedric back to his family, but also Wormtail back and giving Sirius his freedom…. I’m so proud of you for that’ said Remus kissing your head.

‘So why do I keep dreaming about it?’ you asked.

‘Because you’re not yet over your grief…. In time you will understand just how to move on, but right now it’s so fresh for you, give it time ok’ said Remus softly.

‘Ok’ you yawned placing your head on the man’s shoulder.

Feeling another kiss pressed to the top of your head, you slowly fell back to sleep. This time nightmare free, in the arms of your surrogate uncle.

[sej2020]

The Order House…. More of a Mad House

‘Y/N’ grinned Remus embracing you tightly when you flew into the man’s arms.

‘Hi Uncle Moony’ you beamed hugging the man tightly.

‘Don’t forget about me squirt’ huffed Sirius making you giggle as you hugged the man as well.

‘Ah Y/N, dinners ready’ smiled Mrs Weasley.

‘Oh, we’ll I’m not really hungry’ you said when you broke away from Sirius, looking up at Remus.

‘Nonsense you need to eat something’ said Mrs Weasley.

‘Molly we will make sure Y/N gets something later’ said Remus as Sirius steered you back up the stairs, before the women could say anything else.

‘Thanks’ you sighed settling into the loveseat next to the fireplace in the library.

‘You ok kid?’ asked Sirius, as he settled into the armchair opposite, leaving Remus to settle on the arm of your seat.

‘Not really, why have I been shut out so much?’ You asked sadly.

‘Dumbledore thought it would be a risk giving you too much information’ said Remus.

‘But no information that hardly seems fair, after all it’s me he’s after’ you said.

‘No it isn’t, but the thing is sweetheart Fudge has been putting a stop to the lies you and Dumbledore have been telling’ sighed Remus as Sirius showed you a copy of the paper.

‘Oh… so the whole world thinks I’m a liar’ you said a tear rolling down your cheek as you read the headline.

‘Oh Y/N’ sighed Remus sliding onto the chair fully, pulling you into his arms letting you cling to him.

‘I can’t do this’ you said gasping as you began to hyperventilate.

‘Hey, hey, Shh, calm down baby, breath with me, that’s it’ said Remus taking exaggerated breathes so the movements of his chest began to calm you.

‘Please don’t make me go back to Hogwarts, please’ you begged, clutching the man’s cardigan.

‘Shhhh’ whispered Remus looking at Sirius over your head.

After some time you ended up just sniffling dry tears, still clutching at the man next to you, like he might just disappear before you.

‘We’re going to figure something out sweetheart’ said Sirius getting out of his seat crouching down in front of the seat you were in, tilting your head to look at him.

‘Promise?’ You asked childlike.

‘We promise’

‘What is going on you’ve been far too long and dinner is now cold’ came Mrs Weasley’s voice. ‘What have you been doing to the poor girl’

Mrs Weasley marched over to you and grabbed hold of your wrist, dragging you up and to the library door.

‘You both really are irresponsible, perverted old men, showing her what she had no business in knowing, taking advantage…’

‘Now hold on right there Molly’ started Remus getting to his feet.

‘Did you honestly think she wasn’t going to find out?’ Asked Sirius sceptically.

‘You didn’t have to tell her, she was better off not knowing, and don’t think I didn’t see you both touching her’ snapped Mrs Weasley.

That was enough for you, with tears now falling back down your cheeks, you wrenched your arm free and ran back into the comfort of Lupin’s embrace.

‘Please leave Molly’ said Remus his voice deathly calm.

‘I will not, unhand that girl you dangerous werewolf’ hissed Mrs Weasley.

That was exactly the wrong thing to say, unable to control your anger, you wrenched from the man’s arms, turning on the woman.

‘You better stop talking, you have no rights to make any decisions pertaining to my best interests, these two men are my family I will take council from them, and if you ever say anything against either of them again, I swear to Merlin you won’t like the end result, now leave’ you hissed, your magic crackling around the room.

‘Y/N dear I don’t know what they’ve been filling your head with but….’ Started Mrs Weasley.

‘I SAID LEAVE!’ You roared, your magic lashing out, pushing the women out the room, the door slamming shut in her face.

Your body shook, from both shock and the backlash of magic.

‘Y/N?’ asked Remus gently placing his hand on your shoulder.

You collapsed into the man, sobbing.

‘Why is this happening to me Uncle Moony?’

The two men stood there, no words could help you, not really.

[sej2020]

I hate Valentines

‘Bloody Valentines’ you huffed, brushing the glittery heart confetti off your desk.

‘Oh come on Y/N it’s a day to celebrate the people that you love’ grinned Carisi with a bunch of brightly coloured flowers in his arms.

‘Come anywhere near my desk with those infernal flowers Carisi, and so help me I will shove them so far up your……’

‘Such language detective’ came a voice from behind you.

‘Councillor, what can we do for you? said Rollins, turning to the smirking ADA who had wondered into the squad room.

‘You lot nothing, I’m here to see your Sergeant’ said Barba sauntering into the office.

‘Peacock’ you commented pushing to your feet to get a coffee, Finn snorting at your comment.

‘Don’t even think about it Carisi’ you called over your shoulder making the young man pout as he went to place some flowers on your desk.

‘You are coming out to the bar tonight though right Y/N?’ asked Carisi with an edge to his voice, and eager look when you returned to your desk.

‘No I am not’ you said smiling behind your coffee mug as his face changed to one of disappointment.

‘Oh why not?’ said Carisi batting his eyes.

‘Because she knows about your and Rollins plan to set her up’ snorted Finn.

‘How’d you find out?’ asked a disappointed Carisi.

‘For detectives you’re not very subtle’ said Olivia stepping out the office with her coat bag, along with Barba.

‘Hot date Serg?’ you asked smirking, ignoring Barba as he rolled over a chair and sat back with his feet on top your desk.

‘None of your business, clear out the rest of you, you sure you want to cover the squad room?’ asked Olivia as the others practically scrambled for their things.

‘I’m sure Liv, enjoy your date’ you called after her retreating back, along with the rest of the squad.

‘So….’ You said turning to Barba finding him now with a single rose, his feet now on the floor.

‘Happy Valentines’ smirked Barba handing it over to you.

‘I thought we said no to valentines’ you grumbled clutching the rose to your chest with a small smile.

‘We did’ shrugged Barba smiling at you.

‘Well then I suppose you won’t want these’ you said opening the bottom of your desk draws bringing out a sharing box of chocolates.

‘I don’t know about that’ smiled Barba grabbing the box, opening it up and popping a piece of chocolate into his mouth, humming happily.

‘You going to share?’ You grinned as the man’s cheeks bulged slightly.

‘Hmm, sorry’ blushed Barba swallowing and handing over the box.

Giggling you placed it back on your desk, turning back to the man who you noticed had chocolate on his lips slightly.

‘Come here’ you grinned, kissing the man lightly on the lips, running your tongue over them to wipe the chocolate.

As you went to pull back, Barba pulled you into a heated kiss, his tongue begging for entrance. Unfortunately what could have been a steamy make out session you were disturbed.

‘You’re kidding!’ exclaimed Carisi when he walked in on you.

‘I hate Valentines’ you groaned when you jumped apart, shoving your face into Barba’s neck, the man chuckling as his arms embraced you.

[sej2020]

Over Snacks

You don’t know really when it began, this little thing with the ADA. It just did. You just found you both had a mutual love of snacks and coffee. Both of you seemingly making beeline for the snacks in the draw of your desk, or the coffee pot in his office. You didn’t really think anything of it, but others surely did.

It was like any other day, you were sat at your desk filling out the statement your most recent victim had made, getting everything onto the system as the investigation began to take full flow.

It was late afternoon and a cup of now cooling coffee sat next you, Barba came strutting into the precinct. Ignoring the smirks of your fellow teammates, you barely reacted as the man as usual immediately headed to your desk and perched himself on the edge looking at you expectantly.

‘Can I help you with something councillor?’ You asked grabbing your coffee mug settling back in your seat looking up at the smirking man.

‘Come on, you going to make me beg, even now?’ asked Barba batting his eyes.

‘Well a please would be nice’ you scoffed taking a final sip of your coffee before placing it on your desk, before leaning over the side of your chair to open up the bottom draw behind the man’s legs.

‘Pretzels or fish crackers?’ You asked.

‘Pretzels’ smirked Barba immediately tucking into the tub when you handed it to him.

‘Thanks’ you snorted when the man made a small pile on your desk.

‘You’re welcome’ said Barba grinning as he put away the tub, closing the draw and heading into Olivia’s office with his own handful.

‘What?’ You huffed when you spotted everyone looking at you with smirks on their faces.

‘Come on… you and Barba’ smirked Finn.

‘What about me and Barba?’ You asked with a frown.

‘Flirting like children over Pretzels’ smiled Rollins.

‘Behave’ you scoffed.

‘There was definitely flirtatious body language coming from you both’ grinned Carisi.

‘Seriously you guys are way off the mark’ you said turning back to your report.

It wasn’t until later into the evening you made your way to the ADA’s building, you had a question that popped into your head on your way home and seeing as you passed the building you decided to just pop in.

Wondering up the stairs and onto Barba’s office level, unsurprised to find his assistant Carmen having gone home already. Not realising he had someone with him, you opened the door and poked your head in.

‘What are you a bat?’ Snarked Rita who was sat in front of Barba’s desk.

‘Well I hope it wasn’t anything bad’ you said raising an eyebrow.

‘It wasn’t, Rita was actually just leaving’ huffed Barba.

‘There’s no need to be a grump, don’t forget what I said Rafael’ said Rita, grabbing her bag getting to her feet.

‘Detective’ Rita said as you stood to the side to let the women out the office.

‘Defence Vulture’ you replied earning a cackle from the women as she left.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt’ you said sheepishly, suddenly finding it very awkward.

‘Don’t be you saved me actually, Rita actually popped in on her way from dinner with her husband, don’t suppose I can encourage you to help me with these?’ Asked Barba opening the plastic bag on top his desk revealing two cheesecakes clearly from the Cheesecake Factory.

‘Don’t need to ask me twice’ you grinned all but running to the coffee cart Barba had set up, filling up both your usual mugs with the ever steaming hot brew, missing the fond look Barba shot you behind your back.

‘Now I don’t care what anyone says, this is the best way to spend a Friday night’ you grinned, practically vibrating in your seat after your first bite of the sweet treat.

Not getting any response you turned to man sat on the couch next to you, finding green eyes staring at you with the softest look, making you practically turn into a blushing mess at the intensity.

‘God, you’re so undeniably beautiful’ blurted out Barba.

‘I…I..’ you stuttered only to have Barba real back in shock.

‘Oh god, I’m sorry, that was… I’m sorry I’m not being perverted…. You must find me disgusting’ backtracked Barba quickly.

‘What? You compliment me then take it back, don’t be ridiculous’ you said immediately grabbing the man’s hand instantly.

‘Y/N’ sighed Barba almost sadly.

‘No… I mean it… because I kind of think the same about you’ you said squeezing the man’s hand.

‘I’m quite a bit older than you’ said Barba weakly, flipping his hand over in yours, fingers linked together.

‘Seriously, for a mouthy lawyer that was weak even for you’ you teased, earning a chuckle from the man.

‘It was wasn’t it’ chuckled Barba.

‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ You asked.

‘I honestly thought it was just a work thing for you, so I was just happy to have you as a friend, because at least then I could still love you’ said Barba.

‘Love me?’ You whispered, Barba blushing hotly.

‘I do…. Love you, I think you’re so incredible’ replied Barba softly.

‘Raf, I think you’re an amazing man…. I’m just… I’m so angry with myself for not saying something earlier’ you said, Barba chuckling softly shaking his head.

‘Me too carino me too’ smiled Barba letting go of your hand to cup the side of your face, using his thumb to stroke your skin.

Turning your head, you kissed the man’s lips palm, closing your eyes, keeping your face in the man’s hand. With your eyes still shut, you felt your face being carefully guided, your heart hammering in your chest. Finally, a warm set of lips softly pressed to yours.

It was just a simple kiss, nothing heated, but it was perfect, Barba broke away leaving his nose against yours, his forehead resting now lightly against yours.

‘I think cheesecake is going to become my favourite treat now’ you whispered opening your eyes.

‘Mine too’

[sej2020]

Not My Master

Chapter 3

You decided to hide. Embarrassment coursing through your veins as yet again your Master publicly humiliated you after you approached her about attending another mission, not with her but with Master Kenobi and Anakin.

Obi Wan had made a habit of it the last three months inviting you on at least two missions each month. Your Master however, disapproved and thus began blocking you from going. Her words however this time were the harshest they had ever been, causing you to flee from those who had overheard the exchange. Running through the temple you hid in the least used part, hiding curled in the corner, in the silence, sobbing.

‘Oh dear one’ came a voice.

But you were too stuck in your misery and embarrassment, you didn’t register the softly spoken words, the feeling of someone sitting next to you, or the warmth as a familiar cloak was wrapped around you. Obi Wan let you sob, wrapping his arms tightly around you, relieved when you didn’t pull away, the man simply stayed with you, letting you work it through on your own.

‘Obi’ you breathed out, using the shortened name, being the only person he allowed to use it.

‘I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere’ replied Obi Wan softly.

‘I’ve messed up… I’ve lost control’ you said brokenly.

‘No sweetheart… you’re emotions got the better of you yes, but you haven’t succumbed to them, they’ve just overwhelmed you’ said Obi Wan, keeping his arms firmly around you.

‘But I should be better than this…. Maybe my Master was right, maybe I’ll never be good enough to be a Jedi’ you said brokenly again.

‘I don’t believe that for a second, you are the most kind hearted, hardworking person I know… remember that last mission we went into together, and how you resolved that dispute that quiet honestly was on the brink of violence…. You did that Y/N…. Don’t ever doubt yourself, you’re more than good enough…. Your Master is wrong about you’ said Obi Wan firmly.

‘But what if….’ You started only to have Obi Wan press a finger softly to your lips.

‘No, I won’t hear you speak poorly about yourself, you are worth and deserve everything in this galaxy, the order needs you and I need you, you’re made to be a Jedi Y/an’ Obi Wan spoke with a passion you had never heard before, his words making you blush.

Moving his hand, Obi Wan cupped the side of your face, running his thumb over your warm skin, causing your eyes to slip shut enjoying the small action.

‘Meditate with me’ came the soft request.

With neither of you willing to move, you both slipped into the force letting it flow through you. Obi Wan tugged you with him, and encouraging you to cast your feelings and worries away as you floated by.

‘Feel better?’ Asked Obi Wan some time later.

‘Yes, thank you Master’ you replied as Obi Wan slowly released you from his arms, sitting now directly next to you.

‘Good, stay in my rooms tonight… tomorrow we’ll figure something out for you’ said Obi Wan patting your knee before he got to his feet holding his hand out to you to pull you up.

Nodding you handed over the man’s cloak missing the warmth of it combined with the man’s body. Shaking yourself out of your thoughts you followed the man back to his room, luckily the sky was pitch black and there was a lack of Jedi roaming the hallways, meaning you were able to make it undisturbed or without being judged.

Not taking no for an answer, Obi Wan made you take his bed, insisting he would be just fine on the couch. Anakin was already asleep in his room, so for now you didn’t have to worry about the questions that night. Slipping into the man’s bed, tucking yourself under the covers and blankets, you slipped asleep, the man’s warmth combined with his signature sending you off into a peaceful slumber.

[sej2020]

Not My Master

Chapter 2 

‘Y/N, I am heading off an assignment, continue with your studies while I’m away and Master Windu will check in with you’ said Master Bastiela to you as you both stood in the hanger. 

‘May I not come with you Master, I could help’ you tried, you knew it would be of no use.

You had been on a handful of missions, most of the Padawan learners had been on hundreds since then. At nineteen having been on very few missions, it was embarrassing, it was humiliating, but most of all you felt as though you weren’t trusted. 

‘No, this mission won’t benefit from your help’ said master Bastiela. 

Her words cut through you, all you wanted was to be a good Jedi, the best you could be to help people. Stepping back you bowed. 

‘Very well, may the force be with you’ you said, before the words even fell from your mouth your Master jumped into her ship and flew from the hanger. 

Your posture stooped, you wondered through the halls of the temple, it was late evening so most of the Jedi were in the canteena eating their dinner. Wondering with no destination in mind, you ended up in the gardens. 

‘Anakin, just allow the force to guide you, don’t control it’ came a voice near the pond.

‘I’m trying Master... it just feels like I have stepped back into my first pod race, I’m sorry’ said Anakin. 

‘Y/N, hello there, would you like to join us?’ offered Obi Wan when he sensed you wondering closer. 

‘Sorry Master Kenobi I didn’t mean to disturb you’ you said. 

‘Don’t be, it looks like you could use some meditation, Anakin here is going through it as well, perhaps together it can help’ suggested Obi Wan softly. 

‘Are you sure? I’m supposed to be self studying’ you said biting your lip. 

‘It’s because of that I think you should’ said Obi Wan, patting the patch of grass next both him and Obi Wan. 

‘Ok’ you said, shrugging off your cloak, sitting on top of it, crossing your legs. 

‘I’m not going to help you Anakin, you and Y/N will have to figure it out’ said Obi Wan, slipping into the force immediately leaving you both. 

‘What’s going on with you?’ you asked as you both slipped into the force.

‘I got into a bit of situation on our latest assignment, and well I have an injury that was exacerbated from my pod racing days’ grumbled a now fourteen year old Anakin. 

‘Ah, so your barrier is physical pain’ you commented. 

‘What’s your barrier then? Too much studying? asked Anakin. 

‘I wish, no umm, my Master told me my help would impede on this mission... I guess her words just hurt me emotionally’ you shrugged. 

‘You don’t go on many missions do you?’ asked Anakin, beginning to guide you as you did with him when he first arrived. 

‘No... I feel like I’m a failure’ you whispered. 

‘I don’t believe that, you helped me a lot when I was younger and I know Obi Wan learnt loads about the way you approach the force’ said Anakin. 

‘Really? Obi Wan learnt from me... I find that hard to believe’ you snorted falling back slightly. 

‘Why? Because your Master lets you think so, I think you’re wrong’ commented Anakin.  

‘You’re more confident than I remember’ you teased. 

‘I am... you helped with that’ said Anakin. 

You let his words sink in... and all of a sudden you felt lighter, like the force was helping you float. 

‘Wow’ you whispered. 

‘Hmm, pain... it can be just current we need’ grinned Obi Wan as you and Anakin reached him in the wave of peace, the three of you slipping out of the force. 

‘You’re right Master’ said Anakin. 

‘I’m what now?’ asked Obi Wan, grinning as you chuckled at Anakin’s eye roll. 

‘I’m not saying it again, I’m going for dinner’ grunted Anakin, pushing to his feet grumbling as he left you. 

‘I’m sorry Y/N, that you feel as though you’re not worthy’ said Obi Wan, reaching out to you in the force.

‘That’s ok, I do feel much better now, so thank you Master Kenobi’ you said speaking respectfully. 

‘Who is watching over you while you are here?’ asked Obi Wan softly. 

‘Master Windu’ you said with a questioning tilt of your head. 

‘Well, Anakin needs to stay behind to heal but also to catch up on his studies, I have an assignment that I’ll be leaving for tomorrow, would you be open to me requesting you to help me on it?’ asked Obi Wan. 

‘You don’t have to because you feel sorry for me’ you sighed bowing your head. 

‘Hey...’ said Obi Wan lifting your head with his fingers under your chin. ‘I want you with me because I know I need your help’.

‘Ok... I would really like that’ you said smiling when Obi Wan retracted his hand. 

‘Have you eaten yet?’ asked Obi Wan. 

‘Not yet’ you said shaking your head. 

‘Come on then, I was going to have dinner out of the temple tonight, why don’t you join me’ suggested Obi Wan brightly. 

‘Ok’

Pushing to your feet, and putting on your cloaks, you followed Obi Wan out of the Temple and into the city. You’d be the first to admit it, but this was the distraction you needed. 

[sej2020]

Not My Master

You sighed in disappointment as your training session was yet again cut short. It wasn’t that you were unappreciative of the training your Master gave you, it was just you wanted to work on your skills. You wanted to become the best Jedi you could, you just wish your Master could see that.

So instead of ending your meditation session like you should have, you decided to release your disappointment into the force, making the small spheres the younglings used to levitate, float around you. As you felt yourself become calmer the spheres began to spin around you.

‘Showing off young one?’ came a voice from the doorway making you startle the spheres dropping with a clank.

‘Master Kenobi, I’m sorry, I didn’t know someone had booked the room after us’ you said pushing to your feet in a flustered rush much to the man’s amusement.

‘You didn’t do anything wrong young Padawan, Anakin here got distracted while waiting’ said Obi Wan, referring to his Padawan who stood blushing at his side.

‘Master’ huffed the boy making you giggle.

‘I will let you get to your training Master, I don’t want to get in your way’ you said, bowing.

‘Nonsense, you have the room for another twenty minutes, but considering you’re on your own… perhaps you can help Anakin’ suggested Obi Wan, satisfied when Anakin beamed up at his Master.

‘Of course… I would love that’ you said smiling, beckoning the boy to you, settling down onto the meditation mat.

‘How do you make the force lift up so many spheres, I can only do one?’ pouted Anakin.

‘Lots and lots of practice… so how did you make just one float?’ You asked as Obi Wan settled down next to you both.

‘I just did’ said Anakin confused.

‘This is where we are stuck’ said Obi Wan, his head dropping, chin to chest making you laugh.

‘Ok, this sphere’ you said making one float into your hands. ‘When you make it float, close your eyes and breathe’

You watched as the boy complied, his face scrunching up in concentration. Looking to Obi Wan who nodded in encouragement, you closed your eyes reaching out to the boy as you felt the sphere leave your hands. Sensing him recoil, you guided the boy, letting him play amongst the force, glee floating through around you.

Opening your eyes you found the spheres in the room floating around, you were astonished, it had taken you a week by yourself to realise what you had to do.

‘Well done young one’ smiled Obi Wan when you looked over at him.

‘Thank you’ you smiled. ‘Anakin open your eyes’

‘Wow, this is amazing’ said Anakin making you and Obi Wan chuckle.

‘It took me a week to learn this by myself’ you said to the boy, missing the look of concern Obi Wan shot you.

‘Thank you for helping’ smiled Anakin.

‘No problem, I can see you’ll be an exceptional Jedi one day’ you beamed making half the spheres move around the room in a single line.

‘We are due to do some sabre training today young one, perhaps you would like to join us?’ suggested Obi Wan.

‘Oh I wouldn’t want to impose on your time anymore than I have, this should be your time together’ you said touched by the man’s offer.

‘Nonsense, any opportunity to learn and progress, I would be honoured to see what tricks you’ve picked up’ said Obi Wan.

‘Please stay’ begged Anakin at his Master’s nudge, both of them grinning at you.

‘Fine, fine, you two are clowns’ you said as Anakin laughed boyishly, Obi Wan making the spheres pack away into the holders.

You spent the next two hours that Master Kenobi had booked out in the training rooms going through the pairs routine, while basic for Anakin to understand the fundamentals, you discovered Obi Wan had a different teaching style and sabre style to your own Master and you found yourself taking pointers from the man happily.

‘Thank you for today Master’ you said bowing happily, after Anakin had been dismissed.

‘It was an absolute joy to help you Y/N, I may not be your Master, but you can always come to me if you ever questions or simply wish to have a training session, I could always do with help with Anakin’ smiled Obi Wan.

‘Thank you Master, I did enjoy today and I’m sure I will take you up on that offer’ you said as the two of you walked from the room.

‘You’ll make an exceptional Jedi one day, a Jedi Master I sense, keep up with your studies, and I’ll see you soon’ smiled Obi Wan, placing a warm hand to your shoulder before the man strode away.

Smiling you walked in the opposite direction, making your way to the archives to complete your class work.

[sej2020]

His Padawan Part 3

You walked cautiously with your Master, making your way through the hallways of the inquisitors fortress. As you began to go down the levels of the fortress the smog of the dark side began to consume you as you walked, only when you reached a large door did it become crippling. 

‘Y/N, what is it?’ asked Obi Wan when you gasped placing your hand to the wall to hold you up right. 

‘I don’t, I don’t know, it’s that door... I can’t breathe’ you gasped. 

‘Hey, shh, calm yourself, close your eyes and take a deep breath with me’ said Obi Wan, placing a hand to your upper arm, rubbing up and down until you centred yourself. 

‘Ok, I’m ok, lets do this’ you said standing straight, looking Obi Wan in the eyes. 

‘Come on then young one’ said Obi Wan softly. 

Together you both made your way through the steel door, walking down the first darkened hallway, you rounded a corner which instantly made you want to turn and run. Walking down, you were surrounded by orange containers, inside each container held the body frozen in time of a slayed Jedi. Without realisation you had grasped onto your Master’s hand, holding it tightly. If your Master realised he certainly didn’t mention it as you both continued to walk down the hallway, your chest and force signatures tightening in sadness with each step. 

‘Master’ you croaked when you came face to face with the image of a youngling with his training helmet still on. 

‘I know young one, come on’ whispered Obi Wan squeezing your hand, lightly tugging you with him. 

‘You sense that’ you said your head whipping to your left. 

‘I do, be cautious, remember the more subtle we can be the better’ warned Obi Wan lightly letting go of your hand so you both could unhook your lightsabres.

Nodding you followed your Master’s lead, heading into a room down another hallway. Slipping in, using the darkness you both tackled the guards, before making your way over to Leia. 

‘They told me you were dead, but I didn’t tell them anything’ sobbed Leia slightly. 

‘It’s ok, you’re ok, come on’ you smiled watching the girl embrace Obi Wan. 

Moving down the hallways, you met up Tala, the alarms of the fortress blaring around you, accompanied by the thundering footsteps of the stormtroopers.

‘Go, I’ve got them, just go’ you grunted twirling your lightsaber, deflecting the bullets.

‘Y/N, no you’re coming with us’ said Obi Wan breathing heavily.

‘The water is about to come down, now is not the time to argue’ you said, force pushing Obi Wan over to Tala and Leia, deflecting a well aimed bullet at the control panel, shutting the doors.

Turning to the cracking glass, you channeled the force focusing on the cracking glass, preventing the water from getting through. However, your efforts began to wane as your energy began to falter.

‘Y/N’ came your Master’s shout.

With a push, as the stormtroopers breached the doors, the water came rushing in, you forced the water towards the stormtroopers, giving time to sprint towards the doors and your waiting Master. As you neared the doors, you swiped out your sabre, throwing it at the panel, the doors began to shut, catching your hilt with use of the force, you jumped and slid through the closing doors, through the sets of legs standing there.

‘Y/N’ said Leia coming to your side as you panted on your back.

‘I’m ok’ you reassured the girl, pushing yourself to sit up.

Obi Wan approached you, holding out a hand, pulling you up then into his body embracing you fiercely.

‘Don’t ever do that again, you hear me’ whispered Obi Wan into your ear.

‘Yes Master’ you whispered tucking your nose into his neck briefly.

‘Let’s go’ said Tala softly.

Breaking your embrace you walked with Tala as Leia clutched Obi Wan’s clothing, sticking as close to him as possible.