selenasln

[selenasln]

PART 1

I don't know what's wrong with me really, I think I am in a complete mess with myself and that I can't find my way back again. Today, I met my old classmates/friends, we chatted for a while and then they bid their goodbyes later. during our time together they have shared their struggles and pressures that they are into from the course they have chosen. I can relate for a while but I think I envy them more, I mean I don't get to have that feeling anymore, the pressure that drives me to strive for more and to be more. I forgot what really is important, I became just like the rest of my classmates and constantly absorbed bad habits. I soon realized that they are serious and care about what they want to achieve and I envy them because of one reason. They could be the best in the field soon after graduation because of the intense training they are into, while since I no longer strive to be better and that things that I liked before don't interest me anymore, I think I won't have that same path as they have. I won't be successful if I will continue to be like this. I wonder if, in the future, I would remain the same. I wonder if in the future I won't be making the same mistakes and regrets that I did now, if I would grow as a better person, or if I could at least pretend to be better, where would I be? Could I even make a difference after these years? I wonder... if I won't move will I get into somewhere? Does "calling" work with me too? I am different in a good way? or I am just pretending all along that I am special. I can't see more. For these past weeks, I am constantly screwing my future with a bad attitude and stupid mindset. I'm feeding myself with toxic information and trying to be better at it. I realize don't read that much, paint that much, draw that much, write that much, and pray that much. I wish I could find my way back again just like what I always do. I also wish that I could find myself in a better place in the future, by then maybe I have changed and learned.

[selenasln]

And here i am trying to be a sailor... sailing alone with my imaginary monster

[selenasln]

HOW DARE YOU?

how unworldly it was to think its for me

when i know, you don't know me

peculiar to think, somehow we are made

made by this strange unbalance realm

a world where "hi" and "goodbye"

somehow don't intertwine

in this game we try to play

i tried to reach out, God know how many times

i send you my hi and it broke me when you left me un replied

i always saw you in the hallway, a fantastic creation

i can not even made myself to ask attention

so yeah how dare you? to make me feel special

to the point of being delusional

begging for the attention of a mortal

made by all this visible tangle, lacking with life

a human heart with no soul, a human mind with no goal

and yes, i am a human being loving a monster with lots of role

[selenasln]

How i wish i could have even just for short while...

𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝗅𝗂𝗍𝗍𝗅𝖾 𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾𝗅 𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗁𝖾𝗌 𝗎 𝖺 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗒 𝖽𝖺𝗒 ♡

𝗏𝗂𝖺: 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝖺𝗇𝖽𝗁𝗂𝗅𝗅_𝗓𝗈𝗈

[selenasln]

baka talagang bobo ako, pinipilit ko lang magmukhang may alam para isiksik ako dito sa mundong hindi naman ako kailangan...

[selenasln]

Bonsoir

[selenasln]

I know I cannot change too much... though I am still hoping to change something. I know I don't have the capacity to be the person I want to become, but I am on the right track, and I know I am the one who is driving my life down the path I want to take. And I know that this might be just a dream in the end; who knows what will happen next day, week, or year? I may crash my way before I get to my destination. But I will still hope and strive to do my best to become the best I can be for myself, my family, and, of course, my country, so God help me.

[selenasln]

do i really want to achieve my goals?

or im just a follower?

[selenasln]

CAN I COMPLAIN.

I THOUGH AND I WONDER HOW I COME TO THIS POIN HOW I CHANGE AGAIN BUT I KNOW I SHOULD NOT WASTE TIME AND THAT THE CLOCK IS TICKS, EVERY SECOND COUNTS AND IM SCARED THAT I CHANGE AGAIN AND LOST MY CHANCE AGAIN. I LOST... THATS IT AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO FIND MY WAY BACK AGIN...

[selenasln]

Dead mans poetry

its not about you leaving me

its not even the feelings we share i fear.

it is really the memories that will stay...

[selenasln]

i want to be alone...

i want to be like the sun that set to goodbye forever...

[selenasln]

ILLUSION

I thought I am me...

But I was never been

and i am afraid

I will never be.

[selenasln]

Come Back

i was fine before, i never get bored

but ever since you let me be comfortable

everytime you are with me and talk to me

it became hard for me to go back

to my old habits and silence

you teach me to much to be comfortable with you

now i forgot to keep going without you...

[selenasln]

nature si too beautiful to be called boring, those who do just dont know how to see colors.

nice_yudu

[selenasln]

Breath...

Rachel Forrest // Unknown // S. C. Lourie

[selenasln]

i forgot how to be me

how to see myself again

i forgot where is my comfort

where i can be me and be free

now i can say that i am indeed

lost.

[selenasln]

HUMANS

You can hate people and be annoyed by them as long as you want, as long as you can actually, because I believe you can't hate people for long. Either you will explode because you can't take them anymore or you will forget they exist. Just walk away and let go. Eventually, your anger will be gone. The sad part is that you cannot change them. Even if you wish they should be this, why can't they just be like this? Why do they need to be like that?. so many disappointments, so many changes. What I realize from hanging out with people is that whatever you feel, whatever they do that will offend you or annoy you, or when you feel like you know to yourself that they shouldn't be acting like an old, narrow-headed person, or they should've known better, that's because we are humans. You cannot change them just by treating them rudely or pointing out their mistakes; it doesn't work that way, actually. However, you can still change how you interact with them. It will be on you, my friend, because in this world where judgment is common, kindness will be rare.