selfharmthoughtss

[selfharmthoughtss]

Hi I have recently started seeing a school councillor about my anxiety and depression and am wondering what would happen if I told them about my self harm (in the form of bulimia and cutting) because I feel like not being fully open will help less in recovery but am unsure what exposing that would lead to in terms of what happens with that information. Basically I know that there are legal obligations but am wondering what they are and what would happen if i told the councillor these things.

Hey! If I were you, I would look up what the legal obligations are in your country and at your school. Usually you can find these on the internet, but if you can't find them you should just ask your counselor. 

In my country (the Netherlands) and at my school, the counselor had  to tell my form teacher, as well as my parents. For me, this actually made me feel lots worse. So before telling your counselor information you might not want your parents/other people to know, be sure to know the legal obligations.

Also, counselors usually have to tell your parents/teachers, while professional therapists do not (depending on your age). You might wanna visit a professional therapist and talk through all your problems with him/her, because there is a smaller chance the therapist will share it with your parents (but this depends on your age and the severity of your problems).

Hopefully this will help you! And also, you can be so proud of yourself that you are actually willing to share all this private information with your counselor! It can be very difficult to share private emotional problems, and doing that is something which will really help you recover. 

All the love <3

[selfharmthoughtss]

are you still with us?

Yes, I’m definitely still alive luckily! I have actually recovered from my depression and self-harm afters years of seeing a therapist. However, I must admit I still feel urges sometimes.

I hope you're doing okay, and remember, you will be fine someday. All the love <3

[selfharmthoughtss]

Just want to say you are an awesome person that deserve happiness love and respect

Awww thank you! Really means a lot to me :) I bet you’re an amazing person as well and you deserve nothing less!

[selfharmthoughtss]

I've recently found comfort in cutting - it calms me down and makes me feel numb so I don't have to experience the constant pain and anxiety that comes with my life. I'm worried one of my friends is going to find out that I'm doing it and label me an attention seeker, as that is what they seem to think of people who self harm.. I know it's bad but it really helps me and I don't want anyone to know.

I completely understand you. It’s hard to stop once you have started, but believe me, in the long term it will help you. Even though it is enormously important to stop cutting and use better coping mechanisms, I think it’s even more important to do something about het constant pain and anxiety you are feeling. Have you ever thought about visiting a therapist? Please open up to someone - a friend, a counselor or a teacher. As you said, you’re friends might label you, but that’s just because they probably have no idea why you’re feeling this way. I really would recommend opening up to a school counselor or teacher, it has helped me a lot and they will understand.

And about your friends finding out - yes, probably they will. Just don’t think of it too much, and when they find out, explain why you are doing it, maybe they will understand. 

I wish you all the luck and lots of love! x

[selfharmthoughtss]

Hi... I've been waiting for my (ex)girlfriend, I don't actually even know how I should call our relationship at the moment. But yeah, I've been waiting for her since the beginning of april(she wanted a break). She came to the conclusion with special help that she got a social-anxiety and she has a depression. The thing is it I've got a history with having a depression, and it is triggering me at the moment. I don't want to lose her too my own problems.

You really should talk to her about everything. Ask her how she is feeling about your relationship and tell her how you’re feeling about your relationship. Does she know you have a history with depression? If not, you should definitely tell her. Also tell her that you really want to help her and be there for her, but that you’re also easily triggered and don’t want to fall in back your depression. You really have to seek a balance in the relationship/helping her: how much can you help her without being triggered. It’s important that you tell her when you cannot help her or listen to her problems because it’s getting too much for you. Sometimes choosing for yourself is the best thing to do, and in this case it definitely is. 

I hope you and your (ex)girlfriend will figure this out together, and I wish you both all the love and luck in this world! Life can be hard, but you guys can get through this.

Lots of love xxx

[selfharmthoughtss]

You're amazing and just reading through the advice you give on this blog helped relax me. Thank you. Please take time to take care of yourself, I'm sure you get tons of rather stressful messages but you handle everything so well. Thank you again

Aw thank you so much! This honestly means so much to me <3 I’m glad it helped you, and I hope you’re doing amazing.

Also I definitely took care of myself, I actually got out of my depression for good in these past few months :) 

All the love xx

[selfharmthoughtss]

Is depriving yourself of sleep on purpose self harm?

very good question, I actually don't know. I would say yes though because you are in some way harming yourself, as you are not getting not enough sleep which is of course unhealthy and thus bad for your body (and mental health!). But I would also say no because you are not directly hurting yourself, because you are not feeling any pain (which means your body wont release endorphins which usually occurs in selfharming behaviour). If you really want to know the answer you should ask a professional :) Also, i hope you're doing a bit better today and please get some sleep, you deserve it. Lots of love x

[selfharmthoughtss]

I miss my scars, I want them back.

[selfharmthoughtss]

Here I am, at 2.29am, drinking whisky and smoking, just cause I don’t want to feel anything anymore. I just want my emotions to disappear. No more pain. No more fear. No more love. No more happiness. No more sadness. Just nothing. 

I can’t remember the last time I was happy. And honesty right now, I just wish I was dead. But who am I kidding, it’s not just right now. It’s every fucking second of every fucking day. I’d honestly rather be dead. 

I know I’m not worth it. It’s been proven time and time again. I just don’t fucking matter. Never have. Never will. 

[selfharmthoughtss]

people who say “they’re your parents so you have to love them” need to understand the difference between children crying because they didn’t get a lollipop and children crying because their parents have emotionally abused them.

[selfharmthoughtss]

Communicate. That’s the biggest and best first thing you can ever do. Whether it be with a teacher, sibling, friend, parent or even a counselor. Being able to communicate is the first step to your life getting better. It doesn’t have to be even talking; it can be a letter or email or text…let people know what’s going on in your life, your thoughts and emotions. People can and will help you, you just need to search them out. Oh and one last thing, never EVER let someone bring you down. You’re you, and you is always good enough. Never stray from who you are because you never know who will come along and want and love “you”.

- Marc M. (Brampton, ON, Canada)

[selfharmthoughtss]

I crave for scars I’m fighting so much not to have.

(via mystruggle18)

[selfharmthoughtss]

[selfharmthoughtss]

I see suicide as an accident, because people accidentally forgot to care about you and that's why it happens.

I don’t see it like that. I think describing suicide as an ‘accident’ doesn’t represent all the hurt that a person must have gone through before actually committing it and the hurt all people feel when the person’s dead. I feel as if this definition makes suicide look less worse than it actually is.

[selfharmthoughtss]

i feel so numb and detached.

Stay strong, you will be okay. Really.

For now I would advise to talk to someone, and try to go to a therapist. Please seek help, because you deserve so much more than feeling like this.

If something is wrong, you can always message me.

I hope you will feel better soon, lots of love x

[selfharmthoughtss]

My friend and I both self harm (I cut and I think she just cuts) and we made a promise to not cut if the other one promises the same thing. The thing is cutting helps me calm down before panicking. I'm going to have more panic attacks now and be generally more depressed when I can't numb the pain. I was thinking about burning instead. If I cut it means she will and I can't have that happen to my best friend. Any advice on what to do?

This is exactly the reason why I don’t like these kind of promises. Cutting won’t stop because you made a promise to a loved one that you will never do it again. Cutting, any form of self-harm by the way, is an addiction, that needs serious treatment. A promise won’t stop you from doing it, and nor will it help your friend. 

This promise only makes you feel worse, because you desperately want to numb the pain but you ‘are not allowed to’, so you feel like you’re trapped. And I bet your best friend feels the same. So, this is not going to help any of you, nobody will feel better because of this promise. You and your best friend need serious help.

I would advice you to talk to your best friend about how you feel. Tell her that you desperately want to cut and that you’re feeling more depressed and have more panic attacks. Ask her how she has been feeling lately. Tell her that you need help, and she needs too.

And baby, please don’t burn yourself, it’s just as bad as cutting and I don’t want you to do it, I care about you. Don’t hurt yourself, because you deserve more. Just wait, it will get better (it took me 2 years, and yes that might seem like a long time, and it definitely is, but it’s worth the wait).

I hope you go get help and feel better soon, you deserve it. 

Lots of love xx

[selfharmthoughtss]

U know when ur life is really chill for a while and you start believing you’re getting better but then u get hit with just one task ur anxious about and it all goes down the Self Destruction Road to Panic Ville