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selfish-thunder · 5 days
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Random question:
Has anyone written a HP Drarry fanfic soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate says to you is tattooed on you from birth? And Harry's is "Hogwarts too?" which freaks the Dursleys out, and Draco's is just "Yes."
Has this happened yet? Somehwere?
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selfish-thunder · 6 days
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I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.
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selfish-thunder · 14 days
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selfish-thunder · 1 month
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selfish-thunder · 1 month
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I love you dead punctuation marks.
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selfish-thunder · 2 months
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selfish-thunder · 3 months
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being an adult is just saying to yourself “this is the weekend i’ll clean my [x]” and then proceeding to not do that because it’s the weekend and you deserve to relax, goddamnit
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selfish-thunder · 3 months
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My sister : -we can't both be unstable at the same time.
Me, on the phone with her: what you and the car... or you and me?
My sister: me and this weather!
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selfish-thunder · 3 months
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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"What kind of stuff do you write?"
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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Also unrelated, how do get syrup out of pet fur?
Decided to grab a quick and cheap breakfast from McDonald's...
Big mistake.
Those idiots think we idiots can be responsible with large things of syrup.
In unrelated news, does anyone know how to get syrup out of carpet?
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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Decided to grab a quick and cheap breakfast from McDonald's...
Big mistake.
Those idiots think we idiots can be responsible with large things of syrup.
In unrelated news, does anyone know how to get syrup out of carpet?
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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Slutshaming women is not ok Slutshaming Alexander Hamilton is totally ok Tumblr logic
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selfish-thunder · 4 months
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Existence is too expensive to be this mediocre
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selfish-thunder · 5 months
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selfish-thunder · 6 months
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