selfslauqhter - Tumblr blog

selfslauqhter · 4 months ago

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#selfslauqhter — private blog for dependent original muse adored + created by 𝓳𝟤 for ridefm.

❛ ⸻ BASICS .

name: marilou imogene faith miller.

nickname: mari / also goes by venus @ deseo.

allegiance: civilian.

birthday & age: april 18th & 29.

hometown: missoula, montana.

length of time in newton: four months.

occupation(s): receptionist @ cut-n-curls / dancer @ deseo.

gender & sexuality: cis woman & super bisexual.

❛ ⸻ AT A GLANCE .

( MICHELLE RANDOLPH. TWENTY - NINE. CIS WOMAN. SHE / HER. ) in texas, MARILOU MILLER is more commonly known as MARI. they’ve been living in newton for FOUR MONTHS and currently IS A RECEPTIONIST AT CUT - N - CURLS & A DANCER AT DESEO. some say they are IMPULSIVE & FICKLE but i’m more inclined to believe those that say they’re APPROCHABLE & ( SOMETIMES VIOLENTLY ) PROTECTIVE. if you walk by their house, you can sometimes hear NIGHTMARE by HALSEY playing from their window. ( never knowing how to deal with the cards you’ve been dealt, yet doing the best you can ; being unable to find the lines between destroying, betraying, and sacrificing yourself in order to keep the good in the ones you love, the ones who deserve it ; praying, wanting, yearing to become something more, something unstoppable. )

❛ ⸻ THE STORY .

trigger warnings: alcoholism, broken home, violence.

marilou's upbringing was shadowed by the fractures of a broken family, and it started by the absence of a mother who made the decision to leave her family when marilou was seven years old. this departure was fuelled by her mother's aspiration for a life that transcended the limitations of the one she was living.

left in the wake of this brutal and shocking absence was marilou's father, a man who remained physically present but emotionally distant, tethered by the grip of alcohol that held him captive. despite the longing for escape that his daughter's mother had acted upon, marilou's father found himself unable to break free from the cycle of alcoholism that kept him bound to a life that seemed to stagnate, perpetually suspended in a state of limbo.

the family dynamic was marred by the echoes of unspoken sorrows and unfulfilled dreams, painting a portrait of a household that existed on the fragile edge of discord and disillusionment.

despite his apparent lack of intelligence and enthusiasm for life, marilou's father gifted her with two half-sisters, jenny kate and lily-mae, whom she cherishes dearly. these siblings quickly became marilou's source of strength, her motivator, and the driving force behind everything she did.

in the midst of this fragile ecosystem, marilou navigated her formative years with a resilience born out of necessity, seeking solace in the fragments of love and stability that managed to pierce through the veil of darkness. the legacy of her family's fractured past would leave an indelible mark on marilou's journey, shaping the contours of her identity and the landscape of her future in ways that she was only beginning to comprehend as she stepped tentatively into the uncertain terrain of being a teenager.

eager to be a role model for her younger sisters, marilou constantly pushed herself to improve, but her insatiable curiosity and innate restlessness often led her into situations far more troublesome than she anticipated. nevertheless, her sisters remained her steadfast allies, offering support and guidance as she navigated the complex maze of life's challenges. through thick and thin, they stood by each other. together, they forged a path filled with love, laughter, and unwavering support.

her father, constantly engrossed in the contents of a bottle, frustrated her to no end rather than instilling fear. marilou, bold and defiant, often found herself confronting her father head-on regardless of his inebriated state. her unwavering determination to divert his focus away from her sisters brought her a sense of fulfillment, knowing that she could shield them from his erratic behaviour.

standing firm in the face of his alcohol-fuelled outbursts, she was driven by a mix of protectiveness towards her siblings and a deep-seated resentment towards her father's actions. the struggles with her father varied from day to day, with some days proving to be more challenging than others. on those difficult days, the tension in the household becomes palpable, often resulting in physical manifestations of the emotional turmoil. the aftermath is visible in the shattered fragments of glass scattered across the kitchen floor, remnants of heated moments, as well as the broken drywall bearing the brunt of fists unleashed in anger.

her commitment to growth and self-improvement shines through in her actions, reflecting her unwavering dedication to maturity and understanding in the face of adversity.

until she simply couldn't take it anymore, and marilou snapped.

marilou had come home late one day after a school night, which was a rare occurrence, but marilou was thinking she deserved a few hours to herself. and besides, her father would be in a relatively good mood, seeing as it was his church night.

however, she had misjudged the situation entirely. as marilou gingerly opened the squeaky side door to their cramped trailer, a heart-wrenching and infuriating scene played out before her eyes.

lily-mae, the usually cheerful and feisty little sister, was now huddled behind a trembling bookshelf, attempting to conceal herself as tears streamed down her red, swollen face. the sheer intensity of her silent sobs painted a grim picture of fear and distress.

not far from lily-mae, her middle sister jenny late lay curled up in a fragile and pitiful heap, trembling uncontrollably amidst her anguished cries. a primal instinct took over marilou as she beheld her father towering over jenny kate, his face contorted with rage, his knuckles raw and crimson from violence.

the events that followed are but a blur in marilou's memory.

awake from her daze, she found her father sprawled on the ground, barely conscious. her hands, once soft and dainty, now slick with a warmth that felt foreign, clutched a shattered beer bottle. the sharp edges of the broken glass glistened with blood, strands of hair, and bits of flesh, serving as a chilling reminder of the chaotic outburst.

jenny kate ended up leaving montana after the incident that happened at the local fair. marilou never held jenny kate's decision against her, understanding that everyone copes with trauma differently. however, even though Mars was understanding, it was still painful for her when jenny kate decided to leave.

jenny kate's leaving and her absence marked the beginning of significant changes in the dynamics among the sisters. it was a pivotal moment that led to marilou making the decision to leave montana as well. seeking a fresh start and a new sense of belonging that didn't carry the weight of their history.

determined to provide a brighter future for both of them, she resolved to create a fresh beginning filled with hope and opportunities.

❛ ⸻ HEADCANONS .

character inspiration: fiona gallagher ( shameless ), kate austen ( lost ), natalie scatorccio ( yellowjackets ).

hates her photo being taken; will always try to hide her face.

marilou doesn't know much about anything when it comes to the history of newton and stratford. when she moved she just knew that it was affordable and a decent place for lily-mae to grow up.

❛ ⸻ CONNECTIONS .

jenny kate: middle sister, wanted connection.

lily-mae: youngest sister, npc.

❛ ⸻ EXTRA .

PINTEREST.

#𓆩♡𓆪 ・ introduction.#rideintro.#alcoholism tw #broken home tw #violence tw

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