sentientsky - Tumblr blog

[sentientsky]

[putting on a salesperson's hat. whatever that means] hi there, have you ever wanted to have your heart torn out of your chest, put through a meat grinder, then delicately and tenderly reconstructed? well, do i have the fanfic for you! it's painful, it's GUTTING, it's desperately, achingly beautiful. try it today at the link above!

After Modell, Scully and Mulder leave the hospital and are forced to acknowledge the reality of what happened—in their own, incredibly emotionally repressed way, of course.

Aka the post-Pusher fic I have been writing for the last week. If you haven't noticed yet, I am incapable of not using extended, flowery metaphors to describe some lovely pain, and this one is a prime example.

stay close, listen (~2.6k, T)

Mulder turns away from Modell with a sigh, and when he finally steps outside, Scully is waiting for him, watching him with an expression he cannot quite place. There is a version of this story that ends with three dead bodies on the floor, all bullets fired from the same gun, the same hand. Scully still reached out with that knowledge perforating her lungs, still took the hand capable of soul-numbing violence, and touched him like she had no reason to be afraid of him. ——— (This picks up right as the episode ends and they're leaving Modell's hospital room. A study of devotion, death, and the fact that above everything else, you need a hand to hold.)

[sentientsky]

extreme man hate harms trans men and transmasculine people. men are not inherently evil. testosterone is not poison. masculinity is not inherently bad. i said what i said.

[sentientsky]

brains are so stupid they'll be like hey, hey!! you're in danger of death I gotta turn on survival mode and you're like oh shit is there a huge hippopotamus attacking me or something? and your brain will be like no no no it's so much worse. there's someone chewing food next to you

[sentientsky]

Camille Rankine, from "History", Incorrect Merciful Impulses

[sentientsky]

one day I’ll finally write that ridiculously elaborate fanfiction that I’ve been carefully constructing in my daydreams for months and then you’ll be sorry. you’ll all be sorry.

[sentientsky]

I need to be kidnapped by kind aliens who take me to the alien vet and they know exactly what's wrong with me and they cure me and feed me nutritious meals

[sentientsky]

impressive how larian was able to perfectly capture the energy of a kicked puppy

[sentientsky]

reblog to pet prev

[sentientsky]

its always ”b-b-but arent you DEAD??” and never ”was it fun getting buried it looked fun?” never ”was it difficult to claw your way through the soft earth?” they NEVER ask if the first breath of air after fighting myself out of my coffin was refreshing and tasted like sorrow and relief. it did. by the way. not that anyone CARES >:(

[sentientsky]

I love the "came back wrong" trope but from the opposite side.

Imagine you are dead. And then you are RIPPED from the embrace of decay into the world of the living again. Your memories are hazy and you don't recognize any of these people, but they act like they're close to you? Like they love you? So you try to get your memories back, to act like you belong here, but everybody tries to forget you died. And you can't. It is omnipresent. And just trying to grapple with that fact pushes the people who "love" you away, and they're incapable of understanding, and they're so confused, what's wrong N̶̄̀O̶͛͗T̷̉́ ̷͋͝Y̴̎̌Ȍ̴̈U̸̓R NÄM̴̃͑E̵̾̇? And you just need them to understand, you aren't that person! You aren't! You don't know who that person is! You don't know why any of this is happening, but they're unwilling to bend, they keep insisting you are that person, your memories will come back, everything will be normal again, and you want to scream and cry and claw yourself open to show them you're different. Your existence as a being wholly separate from whoever you "used to be" is a sin unto itself. All you can do is scrabble for life and to them, you're killing whoever they loved to do it.

just. lots of fun in that concept, you know?

[sentientsky]

just found a pile of fresh grapes on some paving stones in the middle of woods because, you guessed it, god loves me the most and wants me to prosper over others

[sentientsky]

i am full of love❣️

[sentientsky]

i am a loser in ways you can’t even wrap your head around

[sentientsky]

The Scene from the x files pilot, as seen on my 1999 crt tv :)

[sentientsky]

Never Again//4x13

[sentientsky]

Krycek is such a good antagonist because we never quite learn what exactly his real motivation is. I will accept any and all explanations ranging from "wants to advance to Big Bad Crime Boss" over "trying to assert his masculinity through aggression (for fear of not conforming to the standards of normative heterosexuality)" to "praise kink (good boy! such a good job with that murder!)"

[sentientsky]

All Souls//5x17