seolhyunmi-blog

[seolhyunmi-blog]

summer aesthetics 💐

[seolhyunmi-blog]

This is a randomly generated sentence starter meme for everyone! You’ll be able to reblog this meme for fourteen days starting today, but feel free to continue answering memes after that if need be. Go wild with them and have a good time! Also feel free to use this for sentence starters or drabbles; the most important thing is to get everyone writing. Hopefully, it’ll spark some new plot ideas and interactions too!

Remember to reblog this if you’re interested in receiving a meme, and to send some to everyone that reblogs it, too! You’re welcome to skip over this if you’d like to; it’s by no means mandatory to reblog and participate. Most importantly, though, have fun!!

Weiterlesen

[seolhyunmi-blog]

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixneptune‌

Qian slips through the crowd like a shadow, nameless and considerably less important than the drama breaking out in the center of the room. She’s a little surprised to see the celebrity waiting for her, figuring she would cut her losses and leave without the stranger she just met. She doesn’t think too deeply into the why, fame generally left loneliness in it’s wake from what she had observed. Perhaps she just needed some genuine company for the evening. Qian could provide the latter, but being genuine? Unlikely.  “Thank you, acting is a bit of a hobby of mine.” She was essentially a professional liar, just the same as actors. The only difference? Actors got paid considerably less per line and she did all her own stunts.

Qian throws her hands up once they’re out of the building, making a show of taking a deep breath. “Gosh, you famous folk sure are stuffy.” Flashing a half fake grin, qian listens to Seolhyun. “I mean, chilling with a celebrity seems like a decent way to repay me. Autograph would help to cement that I truly did hang out with you should my friends not believe my story.” Not that she would tell the story to any of her civilian friends, too many questions would sprout from it. “We can laze around with a bottle of wine, I can get into the mind of the great Seolhyun.” The wine was unnecessary to psychoanalyze the other, she could do that any time of the day sober.

although she doesn’t feel like laughing at all,  this woman manages to do just that;  draws out a little melodic laugh from cherry rid lips,  the sound quick to be concealed by her fingers.  she’s not sure what exactly it is that makes her feel ... carefree around qian.  perhaps it’s the way she speaks,  uncaring of anything,  with that hint of sarcasm and playfulness.  charming in her own way.  whatever it is,  seolhyun is thankful for the pace in her life,  today at least.  without her,  she’d have been stuck inside that event until the wee hours.  “let’s take a little walk,  then.  before we go home.  the night is nice and we can have a chat,  too.  though i’m afraid there’s not really anything interesting going on in my mind.”

she doesn’t really wait for any confirmation and begins to walk,  slowly,  glance casted over her shoulder to her new acquaintance with a ghost of a smile.  there are many questions roaming around in her head regarding who qian is,  what exactly her position within society is.  seolhyun knows only people of importance were invited this evening,  implying that qian either is someone incredibly important,  or mayhaps the daughter of someone incredibly important.  “why don’t you tell me about yourself?”  she decides to inquire instead of ponder,  her curiosity needing to be satisfied.  “what is your profession?  who are you?”

Keep Your Eyes On Me

[seolhyunmi-blog]

blackxmi‌:

He couldn’t remember the last time someone complimented him, called him anything other than an asshole or someone rude or a grump. Wonderful was the furthest thing he thought about when he would ever think about himself. He knew how he was now, Hyun knew that he wasn’t the best man to be around with. Seoul didn’t seem to mind, or maybe it was because he comforted her when she was at her lowest that she suddenly saw the stars in him, because he hasn’t seen them in himself for a very long time.

“I wish you were right.” He mutters back, but it was so soft she probably didn’t hear him. His bathroom was as big as the rest of his house, bathtub, shower with the rain shower head, and everything beautifully white with hints of black and greys. “In my bed?” While he didn’t mind if she did sleep in his bed, it was him he was worried about. His nightmares haunt him every single night, Hani knew about him screaming and waking up in cold sweat, it was embarrassing to share such a thing with someone, even if she was just his nurse. He looked Seol in the eyes, once again giving her a once over, “Yeah, you can sleep with me.” He says, “I mean… actual sleeping.” He adds, looking away with how idiotic he sounded. “It’s fine, I’ll bring you a shirt and some shorts to sleep in.”

He moves to one of the cabinets under the sink, taking out two towels, one to dry off her skin and the other she could use for her hair, “Would you like a bath or a shower? I can’t put the shower on for you if you want to use that. But it’s easy to use.”

she hopes she’s not being too needy,  too greedy,  feels embarrassed for even asking if she can stay in his bed.  since when has she been this shameless?  she knows she shouldn’t let negative emotions guide her actions and she tries hard to shake the whole experience she’s made off.  which proves to be easier said than done. fortunately, he ends up allowing her to sleep with him and her expression brightens,  a hint of a grin creeping on her lips.  he may not view himself as wonderful,  but seolhyun can tell that he truly is better than he may think.  though she also knows that believing it yourself isn’t as easy.  

“thank you.  i will take a shower and then join you.  i think if i take a bath,  i’ll end up falling asleep in the bathtub.”  a brief laugh.  as tempting as the spacious bathtub looks,  she cannot wait to finally lay in bed and forget what happened. “you don’t have to wait for me,  though.  you can go to bed ... i did wake you up after all.”  she tells him,  still apologetic, as she watches him take out the towels.  once he’s left to the bathroom she takes the much required shower,  tries to scrub off the filthiness the man’s hands left on her skin.  the shower is refreshing,  leaves her feeling a little better.  his clothes are a tad too big on her,  but she finds them comfortable,  pads quietly into the bedroom to slip under the covers on the free side of the bed.

a careful,  tired glance is casted to hyunjae,  trying to figure out if he’s asleep or awake,  if there’s the need to talk or to pretend all is well.

solace.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixneptune‌

Seolhyun intends to play this game to its very end it seems, how quaint. Qian is searching for amusement and not the truth, so she plays along with her. If anything, at least they’d both gain some form of pleasure of this little facade at the end of the evening. She was paying good money for her friend’s company, none of that was going to waste. “I’ll be satisfied when you are, Duece.” How odd the name was on her tongue. Every part of her wanted to say her true name, not some alias that Seolhyun was hiding behind. But her prey was already too tense, she would surely run should the ruse be stripped away.

“Tell me, what do you like?” It’s a unnecessary question. From the nights they’ve spent together, Qian knows what Seolhyun does and does not like. But asking right now just felt like she was re-exploring, maybe she would find out new things along the way., parts she had previously overlooked. Her hands ran up Seolhyun’s sides, tracing patterns as they went. She kisses her cheeks and down her jawline. “I’m sure your other clients just take what they want and leave, but I would like the evening to be mutually beneficial. Give you enough pleasure to make up for all your customers that left you wanting something more.” 

this is all too familiar,  leaves seolhyun with goosebumps on her skin and a racing heart within her ribcage.  it reminds her of the first time they ended up inside a hotel room after a much too boring event,  an event qian had managed to make seolhyun escape from.   except in that particular night seolhyun was more brave,  more daring,  more demanding.  perhaps it was the alcohol guiding her actions,  unlike now where they are dominated by fear.  she can feel her hands on her body and her lips on her jaw,  and she can’t help but exhale a sigh,  slow and soft.

“you are a generous woman,  i can tell.”  she replies instead of answering her question,  mostly because she’s never been able to be very vocal about what she fancies,  partly because she knows that qian knows.  even until now she’s unable to move,  afraid any movement or action will give her away and make everything too obvious.  not that it cannot get more obvious.  “are you this generous with all the people you hire?  or is it,  perhaps,  that you’ve taken a liking in me?”  a genuine inquiry posed with a hint of playfulness,  head turning,  just enough to let her lips brush against qian’s cheek,  the corner of her mouth.

unveiled.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

jiuxmi‌

in a place filled with an upbeat melodies of people, she is stuck like a needle in the grooves of a record. she spins around and around as if she is playing her sad song over and over again. how can he not pick the melodies, the very soft melodies that rings before his eyes, tempting him to notice her and her alone. the very melody that is in a different colour inside a bright and eye blinding colour of people in this room. and as she sang her sad song, she moves as if she won’t let anyone touch her, as if all she want is for someone who is willing to listen to her. for her song, is sad but had melody.

he is stuck within her sad melody. like the rest of music lover, he follows her melody up to the rooftop where it dimmed out her song with its too loud noise, screeching over the unfair world it created in. hitting the building, the trees, anything that is in its way. and there she is, the sad song in the midst of any song in the room downstairs. crying her heart out as if she is singing at the top of her lungs so any body can hear her melody of an unspoken sad story of her life. that sight before him remind him of residing by kurt cobain. oh dear, don’t you know you are not alone in this world? you have friends who love you so, if you go now your life will be an unfinished painting; admired for a few, brief second like a firework before long forgotten because people is tempted to do the same. to end their life as if it is a finishing touch for their work. people loves sad story after all.

please stay even thought residing by kurt cobain is tempting. there is so much life left that you need to witness. (what is he even doing here? he is just merely watching, not doing something).

“i wouldn’t do that if i were you,” he starts. the cold wind hitting the both of them, he is sure she must be feeling cold by it and he is sure his suit doing him justice. “you can’t let the past weight you down. the present may be dark and scary. but the future is like a light.”

why do he bother? it is not like he know her, nor she know him. yet the only answer he can give at the moment is: curiosity. he stays on where he is, still watching, still observing, not quite do anything. it is a waste of a beautiful face like her to hit rock bottom, he thinks.

“you can’t find that light unless you live to see it.”

she wishes to be the kind of person that goes through with anything she sets on her mind;  the kind of person that does not waver from her beliefs,  from her plans.  but seolhyun knows she’s nothing like that,  never quite does she says she will do,  a puppet of many hands with her life controlled by people she hardly knows.  mayhaps this is the only decision she is making all by herself and the only decision she doesn’t back out of.  countless were the times where she thought of quitting show business,  where she wished to be able to take someone’s life in order to make her own better. this is it,  she thinks,  the result of all decisions in her life summed up.

or so she thought.

because there’s a presence behind her,  a voice following suit,  and seolhyun turns her head to look at the stranger who’s followed her.  hues of brown are widened,  shocked,  taken aback,  horrified;  she’s made sure that no one has been trailing her on the way to the rooftop and wonders how she missed him.  wonders why he looks familiar.  and then it clicks,  her memory recalling the face that kept glancing at her earlier.  

every word he says is a word that seolhyun takes in quietly.  she doesn’t hear him at first–the words have to settle  even if she wants to say something,  her throat feels much too dry to speak,  her lungs having momentarily forgotten to be lungs until she remembers to fill them with oxygen.  the man speaks of a bright future and that’s when her lips twitch upwards, not in amusement,  but in misery,  much like the little sound that manages to leave her mouth.  “you speak as if you know for sure that there will be light in my life.”  she responds after a while,  after moments of reigning silence and eyes stuck on eyes.

“there is no light in my present,  nor in my future,  good sir.  there has never been light in my life,  only blind walking through dark tunnels.  and there is no light at the end of the tunnel,  either.  only more walking,  more sinking,  drowning.  to the point where i don’t know what i’m doing,  why i’m doing what i’m doing,  who i am.”  she stops then and turns her attention back to the dark horizon,  steps closer to the edge,  closer to the end.  “light isn’t meant for everyone,  you know.  not everyone has that blessing in their life.”

savior.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixgrim‌

he breathed in her sweet scent, enjoyed the familiar warmth of her soft touch. the darkness of the night and abandoned streets had been his home for years and dohwan had lost himself in the endless pain and torture he caused others, but whenever he was with seolhyun, his one and only, it was as if he had been resurrected from the dead. she was his last resort, the only home he wanted to return to, whenever darkness tried to pull the last bits of his soul apart and whenever he went through the same hell he had over the course of the past two years, since the age of 20.

dohwan smiled at her, when she kissed the top of his head. he slowly turned around, now laying on his back, facing her. of course he would wanted to have her around all the time, but it was simply impossible for the two of them. but their busy life styles made their time spent alone even more precious. the male sat up and grinned at her. “oh, is that a challenge?” he replied to her playfulness with equal teasing, a rare sight nobody but her got to see in the shadows of the night.

his hands gently took her face in between and dohwan draw closer, pushing his lips against her cherry lips. when they parted, the male brought his face close to her ear, whispering in a rough voice: “we’ve got all night for me to show you how much i’ve missed you if you stay.” placing more kisses over her neck, he gently pushed her down, pinning her underneath him. with a grin on his lips, he let his fingers run over her skin, before their lips connected once again. the night was long, and yet it felt like there was not enough time to satisfy his thirst or her kisses.

she absolutely loved being the only one to see these sides of him,  sides the usual stoic man she so dearly loved did not display in public.  it made her feel special,  like she was worth more than others for once in her life;  felt as if it was just that simple,  forgetting that this was all a risk;  forgetting that loving him was not something her father would have approved of,  ignorant to his jealous outbursts,  too.  for now she decided not to think about it and bask in his undivided attention instead;  his kisses and touches,  anything she'd been longing for and was finally bestowed with. 

it was impossible to resist him.  although she'd never considered leaving,  she found him to be all the more attractive whenever his dominance showed.  her body settled beneath his own,  legs tangling,  exhaling soft breaths at the tingling sensation on her neck.  "how can i possibly say no to such an offer?"  and she was teasing,  trying to play coy;  but the impatience was real, bubbled up in her lungs as they kissed,  deep and needy and breathlessly.

her fingers around the hem of his shirt tugged it off in a couple of pulls,  a bit of shifting.  the fabric pooled where seolhyun tossed it blindly,  turned her attention back to her boyfriend with lidded eyes and swollen lips.  the pads of her fingers moved to run along dohwan’s arms,  to trace the smooth skin that covered taut muscles,  over to his back,  nails digging into the warm flesh there.  “show me.”  whispered words weren’t locked to one meaning;  if they had sex or just kissed or just fell asleep, at this point it didn’t matter.  having him here,  with her,  it was all that mattered.

「when the shadows fall」

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixhimchan‌

it’s the smell of freshly toasted sandwich that shakes him awake after hours of peaceful sleep. his voice is groggy when he murmurs her name just to realize that she’s not there anymore and his heart shakes a little bit; the thought of betrayal crossing his mind. but then he remembers the smell of sandwiches and the silent noises that are coming from his kitchen and he stretches before taking a look at the clock next to his wardrobe, it’s still early for him to get up, he has classes in the evening, but he doesn’t want her to stay longer than she’s able to just because she didn’t want to wake him up.

he doesn’t bother to put on a shirt, he just changes his boxers into fresh ones and makes his way to the kitchen afterwards, with his hair a bit ruffled from her movements and his eyes are a bit more narrow. “So you stayed.” he’s a bit surprised by her actions, he knows her a bit too well to not to be surprised. he makes his way to the stove and places his hands in the pockets of his shorts - bless those things to have pockets, he wouldn’t have know where to put them elsewhere - and leans onto the hearth.

“you made me a sandwich?” it’s more of a statement than of a question and a deep chuckle leaves his lips after the words slipped over his lips, the typical, deep chuckle that (seriously) belongs to him. “you’re too good.”

and he seriously means the words.

she hears him enter the kitchen and she turns a little to glance at him.  he looks good,  the dark circles beneath his eyes gone, she thinks,  is glad to see him being well-rested and happy to have been a bit of help.  at least she believes her company has been reason for him to be able to sleep better.  perhaps it’s only wishful thinking.  “of course i stayed.”  she replies with a little smile,  a questioning undertone lingering in her voice;  did he expect her to have left him without a goodbye?  he should know better. 

"too good for making you the most plain breakfast ever?”  a small laugh accompanies her words,  one that follows suit with the wonderful,  genuine sound coming out of himchan’s mouth.  something she hasn’t heard in a while.  “glad it doesn’t take much to impress you.”  a bit of playfulness in the twinkle in her eye,  the plate is pushed closer to him before she,  too,  moves closer;  gentle fingers reaching up to trace his cheek,  a brief touch.  “eat up,  mm?  i’m going to get ready.  as much as i want to stay,  i’ve got a few things to do.”

she really doesn’t want to leave,  another day spent with superficial people who don’t care an ounce about her.  unlike himchan who’s shown her that genuineness still exists.  but she still moves past him because she has to,  because this is what’s keeping her alive.

troubles.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

seungjinmi‌

it’s funny, he thinks, how he’s a considerably indifferent man. but when it comes to seolhyun, he finds that he can’t really help but care about her immensely. he wants to shield her from the world, to protect her, possibly mainly because she’s the only piece of his childhood memories left tangible. so he wants to keep her around. he wants to make sure she’s safe because if there’s one thing he’s sure of in this world is that seolhyun will stick with him through thick and thin, just how he would do the same for her.

the silence lasts longer than he had hoped and although he doesn’t expect an answer, he begs for one. he can deal with any kind of answer. he will be fine even if she yells at him or tells him it’s not his business. even if she yelled at him and told him to fuck off, he would be there, in his car, coming to get her the next time she called. once she apologizes, he can feel his stomach turn. perhaps he shouldn’t have said anything. seolhyun wouldn’t have to feel bad if he only decided to stay silent. but he knows that either way the negative aura would linger.

“seolhyun.” he looks at her for the briefest moment when the empty street allows him to, his hand on her trembling fingers as he gathers them in his palm, squeezing reassuringly. “no matter what you tell me… you’re going to be the same seolhyun. you’re still going to be someone i care deeply about. the only difference is will be that i will be able to help you better than i do now.” 

“you know that i really don’t want to lose you, right? and it will never be my intention to do so.”

as cheesy as it may sound,  seolhyun does not know what she’s done in her life to deserve someone as wonderful,  as loyal and as caring as seungjin.  a friend she truly cannot afford to lose,  cannot imagine to be without. and the tears come even without her consent,  the warmth of his hand around hers and his much too sweet words triggering all the pent up emotions.  keeping the truth from him has been harder than she made it appear;  calling him in the wee hours of the night without any explanation left her feeling awfully selfish.  he deserves to know and she cannot keep it from him any longer.

“remember when my mother died...,”  she starts off,  speaks in between little sobs,  eyes glued to their connected hands,  “she was murdered by hydrus because father messed up a deal with them.  he was part of phoenix at that time and snatched the money from both gangs.  he disappeared,  as you know. “  

a moment of silence ensues,  teeth gnawing at her lower lip,  growing anxious with each word of the truth she reveals.  “before he disappeared,  he made a deal with phoenix.  in exchange for having his life spared,  he sold me out to them and said i’d bring in all the money that had gone,  apparently,  missing.”  by now her fingers have curled around his hand in return,  holding on tight,  tight enough as if her life depends on it,  afraid --

“it’s been four years since then -- since... ---- they made me sleep with all kinds of men -- women ...”  she hopes he knows what she’s implying,  for she’s unable to say it out loud.

save me.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixhaneul‌

He lives here when he has nowhere else to go. Mostly when his friends kick them out of their flats or when his apartment feels like it’s too far. He doesn’t mind riding a cab or taking a bus then walking just to get here. “Because I live upstairs.” Haneul points up. Stating the fact that he does pretty much occupy the second floor because Hyunjae can’t go there. “And I don’t really use the front door.” It’s not like she has to know he climbs up with much difficulty to avoid his cousin’s wrath. “Or you know, I wasn’t home when you were around. Maybe sleeping upstairs? Maybe at a friend’s?” Shrugging his shoulders as he gives way for her to enter the house. Calmly continuing the conversation as if it was normal for a half-naked dude to welcome a female guest and hold a conversation as if they didn’t hook up before. 

“It was a different situation. I don’t mind a reenactment of that situation though.” He chuckles moving past her and steadily makes his way to the living room. Barefoot, bed hair and arms stretching, flexing all his muscles as he yawns. “Normal people are boring. If you were interested in normal, I doubt you’d land yourself on the same bed as me. Also, it’s summer. That’s not the kind of heat I want to sweat from.” Haneul gets himself a drink, non-fat milk. Carrying the milk carton with him to the living room. 

“Why do you want to see my cousin?” He asks instead of giving her the answer she so desired. Why not drag this moment on? “Have a seat, Seol. Do you want something to drink or something to eat? I’m starving.” He eyes her as he opens the milk carton, drinking right off from it. Licking his lips free from any milk residue left on his lips. 

“I hope you’re not trying to date my cousin we don’t want any awkward family dinner.”

just when she thinks nothing can surprise her anymore,  life tends to have different plans.  the last thing she’s ever expected was for a one night stand to end up being the cousin of someone dear to her,  let alone reside in the same house she visits weekly.  it’s both,  ironic and awful,  for seolhyun has believed their encounter was merely a one time thing,  nothing to be repeated again.  she’s not sure if she should laugh or if she should possibly cry.  perhaps both.  

“good to hear that i seem to have left a positive impression on you,  i suppose.”  she responds and actually does take a seat on the couch.  her eyes follow his every move,  though she cannot help but scrunch her nose when she sees him drink right out of the milk carton.  manners clearly are not his best trait and seolhyun truly wonders just how much she drank that night to have ended up sleeping with him.

“i’m fine,  thank you.”  a brief wave of her hand to ensure he does not possibly offer that milk to her,  she lifts a brow at the inquiry,  almost starts to laugh.  as questionable as his manners may be,  he is pretty amusing,  to a certain extent.  “curious much?  he’s a good friend of mine and i help him out sometimes.  there’s no dating involved.”  she confirms before his weird head and make up weird assumptions.  “you never told me anything about you.  what do you do?  got a job?  anything?  aside of drinking and hooking up with girls,  i mean.”  she quips,  leans back and crosses one leg over,  skirt riding up high in the process,  exposing smooth sunkissed skin.  if he can play that casual game,  she most certainly can,  too.

hello again.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixneptune‌

Her hacking took her to many places, so imagine her surprise, as she dug through some old garbage on phoenix’s servers that a name catches her eyes. It took more time then she’d like for her algorithm to piece the corrupted document back together but it was interesting to say the least. It wasn’t an all telling piece of work that showed up in works of fiction but it told qian an awfully interesting middle piece of a story. A story she was eager to learn about. Which led her to the current situation. Qian currently sits patiently, waiting for her entertainment for the evening. She’s in some fancy royal suite that would barely dent her bank account. Money was not a concern at the moment. Satiating her curiosity was taking quite the precedence.

She’s mid sip of the hotel’s top shelf vodka when the creak of the door sounds. Seolhyun was going to be a top form actor if she wanted to fool Qian, perhaps she should put on her own little show as well. She waves her hand, motioning for the other to come take a seat next to her. 

“I’ve always enjoyed pleasuring my partner more then myself, so tell me” She leans close, scrutinizing Deuce’s features, how vastly different she looked from her friend and yet somehow, Qian could still recognize her. It was just pieces but you never needed all of it to see the big picture. “What is it that you desire this evening?” Her lips ghost Seolhyun’s, being sure to brush her hand at the end of her dress. 

despite her attempts,  she cannot shake off the looming anxiety,  the fear of possible consequences if she were to be discovered.  she knows qian is far from stupid and a part of her knows,  definitely knows,  that her friend must have noticed already.  but she tries to keep up the facade nonetheless;  it’s a job,  after all,  nothing connected to the person she actually is.  and as much as she hates lying,  especially to those she holds dear to her heart,  she’s too scared to admit the obvious,  the big elephant in the room.

she inhales sharply when she feels qian’s touch,  too familiar,  nothing she does not enjoy.  but she stills flinches,  out of instinct than anything else,  keeping her gaze glued on her friend’s.  her breath fans qian’s lips as she exhales,  slowly,  ponders her words and what to answer.  she tries to sound witty,  charming,  desirable,  “i wish to have you be satisfied by the end of our time together.  whatever it is that you want to do,  do it.”  trained words spoken with an odd sincerity,  nothing she usually tells her clients.. not in that way at least.  the scarce space between their lips vanishes when she leans in,  leaves a brief kiss on tiers she’s kissed a few times before.  

it’s not a kiss out of fear,  nor out of longing;  it’s her little way to admit she’s hiding something,  that she cannot speak of it.  but she’s selfish and wishes to enjoy the time they have together and hopes qian will not pry.  not now.

unveiled.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

the texts she receives from eunmi reach her in the morning,  yet seolhyun leaves them unread for now,  much like she’s been doing for the last few weeks.  as awful as it feels to ignore her best friend  ( and it feels incredibly awful,  guilt eating her up from the inside ),  she’s been too ashamed to face her,  aware she’d be unable to look her in the eye.  after certain experiences with her father,  experiences she wishes she could just forget and not allow her dreams to haunt any longer,  seolhyun has feared facing eunmi,  afraid she’ll slip up and tell her truth.  and she knows of the warnings her dearest father made clear,  knows they are not anything to be taken lightly.

with the latest events happening in the city and her current fear for her own life,  however,  seolhyun actually opens up the messages,  reads them -- doesn’t respond.  as guilty and filthy as she may feel,  she doesn’t want their friendship to possibly end like this in case hydrus were to take her life.  nothing is safe anymore,  her fame no longer a reason to keep her alive and out of the gang’s hands.  she finds herself in front of a very familiar house and it doesn’t take long for the security guards to allow her to enter.

she makes her way to eunmi’s room,  knows the way there as if it’s her own home,  and she knocks on the door once before she opens it,  steps inside.  “you needn’t to worry about me.”  she says instead of a hello,  stands there a little awkward,  unable to lift her gaze from the floor.  she wants to say so much more,  for she’s truly missed her, alas -- shame dominates her actions,  her words,  her inability to look at her very best friend.  “i’m glad nothing has happened to you.”

cry wolf ,

          admittedly, the broadcast hadn’t bothered her. an inconvenience if she really minded something so small in the long run. small in its execution   —   because the news that was revealed was certainly noteworthy. if they wanted attention, they got it, just not exactly from her. the aftermath is what she is forced to deal with but she doesn’t care to be any further involved than that, even with the knowledge of a few people close to her being in those gangs. her father’s assistant is the first to insist she stay with the bodyguards currently at their home and she’d argue against it if she didn’t think it wise to listen for once. only a fool would refuse to recognize that there’s a thirst for blood spreading over the city. 

          she’d been out when the news broke   —   preparations for what is undoubtedly the start of long nights preparing for her father’s birthday next month, for the excuse of a party he hosts every year   —   and she doesn’t bother thinking of going straight home just because of it. that is, until she realizes, more than keeping herself safe for lack of a better word ( because is it really safe there, is it really safe anywhere on the island ), she wants to keep seol safe. her friend seemed too busy lately to respond much to messages but eunmi didn’t mind. of all people, there is only one capable of making shim eunmi wait and that is kim seolhyun. 

          messages are sent again and, hopefully, not to no avail. when she arrives home after deciding the cut the day short, to play it by the book as her father would derisively call it, the only person she wants to speak to is seol. after all, seol is the only person she can trust not to be in her father’s pocket. 

[seolhyunmi-blog]

mixhimchan‌

her first words prepare him for the bitter truth, for the feeling of guilt that keeps creeping up his soul. but he stays calm, he doesn’t scream and he listens to her until she’s finished, until she stays silent, too. he seriously doesn’t want to kill her because he trusts her, more than everything. if he had to choose one person to call when he’s in danger, it would be her, it would be her he would currently want to speak his lasts words to. because he knows that she’ll keep them sealed in her heart. 

he returns the squeeze gently, leans back in his pillow and closes his eyes, ready to hear what she wants him to dream about. but he’s not satisfied with her words, it’s too simple, it’s not something his brain would allow him to dream. but he doesn’t say anything, he stays silent and nods, without a word, he approves of her words. himchan feels like he talked too much already and staying silent is the best decision he could make.

it’s strange, new for him that someone stays voluntarily, if he falls asleep next to someone it’s usually a prostitute, someone he doesn’t even know a little bit. but today he hopes that she stays even if she wakes up before he does, that she doesn’t leave him alone in the morning.

“i trust you, too.”

the moment feels strangely intense despite the apparent calmness.  there’s so much more meanining hidden between each word that has filled the room,  so much more meaning hanging in the silence between them.  it feels as if the entire night has brought them even closer,  deepened their bond and strengthened their friendship.  an odd feeling,  for seolhyun doesn’t have anyone she actually feels close to within the gang.  aside of him.  a strange sensation,  one that leaves her feeling afraid in the midst of being happy -- close bonds aren’t her best trait.  too fragile is her trust,  too big the fear of disappointment.

she says no more and allows him to sleep,  withdraws her hand when she makes sure he’s fallen into a slumber.  sleep finds her a few hours later,  though she’s the first to wake up in the morning,  too.  she knows she has important appointments waiting for her,  demanding the presence of kim seolhyun and being tardy would only earn her scolding from manager choi.  

he looks incredibly peaceful as he sleeps,  her fingers running through strands of his hair carefully,  afraid to wake him up. she cannot find it in her to leave him like this, not after yesterday’s conversation.  so she gets up,  pads to the kitchen,  and begins to prepare breakfast for him.  her cooking skills are pretty much beginner level,  but she manages a decent sandwich.

troubles.

[seolhyunmi-blog]

tw: mention of death

when she was notified about the death of a certain man,  it honestly did not come as a surprise.  he led a dangerous life,  seolhyun knew.  even though they weren’t exactly close,  only happened to share a bed a couple of times before,  she was aware he didn’t have too many years left.  a shame,  truly.  he was a charming fellow,  nice to be around and easy to chat with.  valuable to the gang,  skilled and overall pretty great. 

yet seolhyun couldn’t find it in her to be sad,  nor cry,  even when she was surrounded by mourning family members and friends at the funeral.  clad in black,  gloved fingers rested on her stomach,  crossed,  silent prayers for the soul that had left them and ascended to heaven.  she stood in the far back,  decided it was wise enough not to draw any attention on herself.  not that she was here as kim seolhyun ;  fully disguised,  keeping her real self unattached from everything.

the voice of a woman tugged at her attention,  had blue eyes avert from the ground to the stranger.  strangely she’d seen her before,  on pictures daehyun had shown her during drunk nights.  looked a lot like his sister,  she concluded.  “my condolences.”  she responded,  voice higher than usual,  much sweeter,  much more regal.

“i do not believe to have made your acquaintance before,  but it is a pleasure to meet you.  my name is deuce.  considering how close you stood to the grave,  i assume you are part of his family?  it must be a heavy loss for you.”  a sympathetic little smile crossed cherry red lips and she bowed her head,  “my prayers are with you and your family.”  it was best not to reveal too much of herself.  it was best to keep the chat brief and vanish.

black umbrella.

@seolhyunmi

tw death, funeral 

When they share the news, her mother screams, and her father cries as he embraces his wife while they mourn the loss of their child. Her knees are dirty, weeping from the ground, her husband trying to get her to stand up. Her hands reach out as they carry the bed with her dead son, eyes closed, never able to walk or talk ever again.

Dani didn’t move, she stood at the far end, looking away from her parents, feeling empty with her cheeks dry and her heart on standby. They found him at midnight, the warehouse was dirty, abandoned, and cold while his body rots within the dust. No one had bothered to call until an owner came to check on one of his buildings and found him there. It was like karma to the highest degree, the boy had got what he had deserved.

They burn him on a Monday morning, his body turning into aches, shoved inside of a box, and added to a wall with many other passed away citizens.

His altar was surrounded by flowers that he probably hated, and a picture of him that was too old and far from the boy he ended up becoming. His face was too young, his smile was too bright, and his hair was too short. He was probably sixteen then, just a kid that wanted to fit in and look what that got him in the end…

Her tears still didn’t come, her father worries about her lack of emotions, but she just doesn’t know what to tell him. I just don’t feel like crying dad.

She walks away when another relative tries to comfort her with her loss, but all she could be was either be angry or numb to it all. — She noticed a stranger, a woman, young and beautiful, someone she would never connect to someone like Daehyun. It made her curious, why she was here, and if she was connected to the gang, he was in. “Welcome.” Dani greets her softly when she managed to walk over to the strange girl. “I’m Dani, have we met before?”

[seolhyunmi-blog]

seolyoncé