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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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I LOVE PRIDE AND PREJUDICE AND RHIS JUST MADE ME SCREAM HELLO OMG 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

pride and prejudice - j.yh

pairing : jeong yunho x (f) reader

very much inspired by pride and prejudice with some plot changes

word count : 5.8k

genre : fluff, angst

author's note : THIS IS ALL FOR MY MUTUAL WHO PROPOSED THE IDEA OF YUNHO BEING LIKE DARCY. THIS IS FOR YOU!

masterlist

...

living as a fallen royal has not served you any happiness. in fact, it has only brought sorrows after sorrows, one you were overwhelmed with. but none of those sorrows would ever be lifted off you, not until you die, you suppose. why is that? because you were the eldest daughter out of the five, the only anchor in your already broken family. the only sane person between your reputation crazed parents.

“mother!” you grabbed your mother’s arms to make her face you. disgust filled your face and you couldn’t even process what just happened.

it was three days after your sister’s seventeenth birthday, she was the second born and she was three years younger than you. however, your parents had the audacity to go and basically wed her off to a nobleman in efforts to dignify the family’s name.

“mother! she’s just seventeen. what are you thinking!?” you screamed slightly making everyone in the house notice. “you. have no rights to say anything towards me young lady.” your mother pointed to you with seething anger on her face. her behavior only baffled you even further. “must you go through these lengths? she is just seventeen mother! she still has her lif-” “exactly. she is seventeen, a marriable age. unlike you, twenty yet unwed. it is embarrassing enough for me to have an unwed daughter like you” you were speechless. there was no way your mother just said that in front of you and left. just as you were about to catch up to her, you were held back by your sister.

“angela, we can talk after this okay” you try to make her let go of your arm but she was persistent. “sister, i am fine with this” her eyes gazed straight at you with her desperately trying to hold you. “no, you still have so much to see and learn. it is not your duty to marry, i will find a way for you alright?” you grazed her cheeks slightly to reassure her. “no, i wish for this. it is the only way our family can be stable again. i am fine with this sacrifice. no, i even heard that he is a good guy, so fret not my sister. fret not, alright?” she leans onto your embrace making you hug her. this whole ordeal is breaking your heart. was it your fault? why was the universe so cruel?

…

“my daughter angela, a carriage will come over to pick you up today at noon and i want you to go with her as well, y/n” your father said on the dining table. your appetite immediately gone and your face soured. “listen, y/n. i am not pressuring you what so ever. however, you are twenty this year darling. soon you would be past the marriable age and it would not be good for you” your father held your hands but none of his words felt like a concern for you, instead it all just feels like salt to an injury. “alright, i will prepare myself then” you immediately stood up from the dining table to go to your room.

“oh? have you finished getting ready?” you asked your sister who was sitting on her bed next to yours. “yep, you are coming with me right?” she asked you in which you nodded. she was wearing her favorite pink gown adorned decorations that made her beauty unmatchable. you had to admit, out of the five sisters she was the prettiest. it was as if a white rose suddenly appeared in a garden of red roses, that was how she was.

“you look great, i’m sure he would fall in love with you as soon as he saw you” you smiled to her widely before getting ready yourself. you opted to wear a rather normal gown in the shade of jade. you didn’t want to overdress your sister, nor did you want attention on you.

love has always been a difficult topic for you. you didn’t want to sell out your future to a man in the name of marriage and also, woman generally wasn’t given any freedom post marriage. you had to either be an obedient doll for your husband or you’d be divorced and thrown away in a second. it was either in between and that is why, love scared you.

but either way, it was your mission to at least be a good companion for your sister. to cover up all the ugly side behind her and your family, to be a good guardian for her.

soon, the carriage bell rang. notifying its’ presence and urging you both to go inside. your sister excitedly runs down the house and bid goodbyes to your parents who were waiting out the door.

“take care of her okay?” your father bid goodbyes to you by squeezing your hands while your mother only looked at you. “i will, goodbye” and with that, the two of you were in the carriage off to the Northwestern Palace where her future husband is waiting for her.

“sister?” your sister called out to you, breaking you out of your daze. “yes, my angel?” you scurried to sit next to her and held her hands. “i am scared” your sister starts to tear up. “darling, it’ll be alright. it’ll be alright.” you brought her in to hug and comfort her. just why, why would an innocent soul like her have to go through all this.

…

“ladies, we have arrived at the Northwestern Palace” the coachman knocks on the carriage door before swiftly opening it, making a way for you and your sister to exit the carriage. the whole ride was pretty serene. nothing much happened, except for the fact that your sister felt worried about the whole meeting. it was inevitable, love is scary. however she immediately recollected herself and is back to the usual happy go lucky sister you have.

after a small walk, a luxurious white pavilion is visible where two (seemingly) esteemed gentleman were sitting. the two then stood up noticing your presence before bowing to greet the two of you. you also curtsied to greet them together with your sister before walking even closer to the pavilion.

“greetings, i am y/n from the house of brigitte and this is s/n. very delighted to make your acquaintance” you and your sister curtsied to greet the two men in front of you. “oh yes, i am san from the house of choi and this is my companion, yunho from the house of jeong. thrilled to make acquaintance with you both as well.” he greeted you cheerfully before ushering you to take a seat on the table in the pavilion.

for a second, you felt small. this whole place, the pavilion, the table, their presence, all felt overwhelming. if it weren’t for your sister who was chatting delightfully with san, you think you’d suffocate from stress.

while san and your sister chatted well together, you decided to talk to yunho for a little bit. “um, so how did you get acquainted with mr. choi?” you ask while taking a sip of your tea. “i’m sorry but is that your business?” he responded coldly. you were frozen for a second, unable to react. “oh, i apologize, my curiosity got the better off me” you laughed it off before taking another sip. it was clear enough, this guy in front of you has zero interest in forming acquaintances with you. it was fine, as long as your sister was happy it was fine. soon the afternoon went by a flash. it was an enjoyable experience for your sister, it was all that matters.

…

“how was it?” your vivacious mother asked your sister once you arrived back home. “it was great, mother. he was a gentleman, anything i could ask for” she replied, making your parents exhale a big sigh of relief. they seemed so happy, and you were too but there was a hint of bittersweetness in your heart. after all, you were the disappointment for them and did you even have the right to be happy? but you digress. “i will be off to my room now, if you need anything just call me” and with that you went upstairs to your room.

“sister!” your youngest sister came up to you. “hi sweetheart, what’s wrong?” you crouched down to ruffle her hair slightly. “is it true? sister angela is getting married?” she asked you and you nodded. “yes, angela has met her prince charming you know?” you smiled to her. “but what about you? have you not met him?” you froze slightly before shaking your head. “it’s late already, let me tuck you into bed okay sweetheart?” you ushered her to go back to her room to rest up. you just didn’t want to answer much because it’s all too conflicting for you. it’s all too much for you. even so, you did wish to meet your prince charming, you wished but it was just a mere wish. a mere wish that has very low chances of getting granted.

…

“y/n! prepare the guest room please!” your mother called out to you in the middle of the morning. you were confused, why would they need the guest room ready, for who? and why is she asking that of you this early? “mother, who is coming?” you asked as you went down the stairs. “it is your father’s colleague. he is coming over with his son” she explained to you. “and who exactly?” you asked while you start to dust off the room. “the house of park” oh, it was seonghwa. he was once deeply infatuated with your sister, so obviously you knew him. he wasn’t a bad guy, per se. however, you just don’t feel good about him sometimes.

as you were cleaning, the day started to go by and it was now afternoon when the esteemed guests came by. your parents greeted them with extreme joy and they also greeted everyone back. you led them to the guest room where your parents and them chatted off. you stayed at the door, tending to their drinks and snacks when seonghwa snuck up on you.

“um, so, where’s angela?” he asked. “oh, she’s going to come down soon” you replied before he went back to his seat. sure enough, your sister soon came down and it was as if seonghwa just saw an angel. his eyes immediately lit up and a big smile adorned his face.

“so, mr and mrs brigitte. the purpose of our visit today is actually because we want-” “no father, i will say it myself” seonghwa cut his father off before clearing his throat. “miss angela brigitte, i have taken a great liking towards you ever since the first day we met. will you do me the honor of being my wife?” seonghwa knelt down in front of angela and took her hands to kiss it slightly.

“i must apologize” angela took her hands off seonghwa’s. “i am already engaged to mr. san from the house of choi” and the entire room fell into a tense mood. seonghwa quickly reassured angela that it was alright and your parents ushered you and angela out of the room to not make the room even more tense. thus, you brought angela back to your shared room where she cried.

“i feel like a horrendous person. i feel bad” angela cried out to your shoulder. “shush baby, it’s alright. i am sure he would understand alright” you comforted angela throughout the night but unbeknownst to you, the park family and yours agreed on an alternative. an alternative you wouldn’t even want.

…

somehow seonghwa kept going to your house, despite getting rejected by angela. you were confused on why he was doing all this. on an instance even, he brought you to meet one of his longtime friends, hongjoong from the house of kim. it was all confusing but creating relations wasn’t something you were against.

“i heard you are acquaintances with san from the house of choi?” hongjoong asked. “yes, he is about to be wedded to my sister after all” you replied with a smile. “then, may i assume you are also acquainted with jeong yunho?” your eyes shot up and you froze slightly. “not exactly, why?” you asked. “i should warn you about him. he is not a good man. the kim family has been the greatest supporter the jeong family could ever ask but what did that guy do? deny us from our rights” hongjoong took a sip of his tea angrily. “hongjoong, let’s not-” “no seonghwa! i am merely stating facts. i had to work like a dog to save my family from bankruptcy when we were exiled” hongjoong explained further. “why were you exiled?” you asked. “because we didn’t have one vision thats all. either way, be careful of him”

you weren’t the type to trust someone immediately. after all you were a big skeptic, however because seonghwa trusts hongjoong so much, you just couldn’t help but feel a slight empathy. how could someone pay literal dust to someone who has been loyal, and even if there were differences of views, shouldn’t it be talked over? you didn’t want to involve yourself though so you just decided to stay neutral. one thing is for sure, jeong yunho did not seem like a good guy at all.

…

it was the night of the ball in the Northwestern Palace and sure enough, you had to dance with the man himself, jeong yunho. you didn’t hate him but that did not mean you liked him. he has been nothing but rude to you ever since the first meet. however, you cannot deny. he is a great dancer.

“i am surprised you are good at this” you said in attempt for a small talk. “it is merely the basics my lady” he said as he let you go to twirl and held you by your waist again. “sure, basics” and you both danced until the music ends. what you didn’t expect was for him to initiate a small talk.

“would you like to take some time in the garden?” yunho asked as he took a sip from the glass of champagne he was holding. “sure” and with that the two of you went down to go to the garden. this did not go unnoticed by san and angela. “look, your sister” san pointed towards your direction to your sister. “let them be, let’s just hope for the best” she laughed before resuming to their own conversation.

“i did not strike you as someone who would ask a lady” you joked. “i am merely doing this as an apology for last time” yunho waited in front of the stairs, offering his hand for you to take while you go down the stairs. “thank you” you said before he led you to the garden of the palace.

“so, what did you want to talk about?” you asked him as you took a seat on bench nearby. “i was wondering on a few things actually” he sat next to you.

“how are you alright with your sister overstepping you?”

“in marriage?”

“yes”

you sighed and stayed quiet for a moment. of course people would ask that. of course it would be a topic in your conversation. after all, people deemed it to be rude but you couldn’t care less.

“perhaps i just do not care? all i ever wanted was happiness for my sisters and it is not her fault for finding love before me. and if you ask me how did it came to this, i also don’t know. perhaps it’s just the universe’s will? either way, i don’t have a problem with that”

“i have heard that you rejected several marriage offers”

“yes, just one though to be exact. i do not find myself ready when i got that offer. i was still sixteen after all. now that i am twenty, i couldn’t thank my sixteen year old self more than anything”

“and why is that?”

“because i got to experience life. if i got married, i wouldn’t be able to do that”

“how? you still have your life even after you marry? it is not the end of the world”

“to you yes, to me no. i would have to be entangled with housework, wifely duties, and when i have a child as well, i can’t do anything freely. i am not saying i don’t want to get married but i still find it to be not something i highly desire.”

“let’s say, someone proposes to you today. will you accept it?”

“i do not know. if i could see myself loving that person, perhaps i would but if i couldn’t i think i would reject it once again”

yunho nodded understandingly. turns out, he wasn’t too bad. he wasn’t as bad as you thought he was. he was a good listener and also a very logical person. the conversation actually went well because he was actually a good conversationist. perhaps this person wasn’t that bad but you digress.

…

it was as if the universe was playing a joke to you, seonghwa decided to propose to you in exchange for not getting angela. of course you rejected it. how could you be used a replacement? it was a disgraceful move on its own. you were even more flabbergasted when you knew it was your parent’s idea. what the actual hell are they thinking?

“do you perhaps not possess a brain to think?” you angrily opened the door to their bedroom

“honey, what is this behavior!” your mother shouted

“what is this behavior? you have the audacity to ask me that? am i an easy thing to use as a replacement for my sister? are you planning to sell me out?”

“y/n please calm down”

“y/n! we are doing this for your greater good. what future lies beyond you if you refuse him. we are doing this because we love you. we are doing this because we wish for what's good for you”

"but that is not how you do it!" you screamed into the room

you couldn’t even talk anymore. you felt so incredibly betrayed. how could they treat you like this? how could they treat you this horrible? you knew they were slightly insane after they lost their estate to debt but this was beyond your limit. your entire dignity crushed into pieces, ground up to the floor and thrown away six feet under the ground. it was shit, completely shit.

“my daughter, can we talk?” your father came over to the dining room where you were crying profusely. “what more do you want? do you not understand how that made me look? i look like an easy woman, father. i look like an easy shit to trampled upon” he shushed you before bringing you to a hug to comfort you. he didn’t say anything, perhaps too guilty to even say anything. at least he knows his mistake.

…

it has been several months since everything happened. you decided to do things like how you are used to. forgive and move on. seonghwa even got married already because one of your friend was scared she’d become a spinster. you apologized to seonghwa and seonghwa thankfully was a good man. he understood your rejection and reaction, he understood everything.

however, angela’s relationship with san was something else. choi san was a busy man and it was a given he wouldn’t have much time. but if he was determined, he could at least spare just a few minutes with angela but that never happened. so when his party left for a neighboring country, you told angela to go to your relative’s house since they live in that neigboring country and she did.

now, with nothing to do on hand, you decided to visit seonghwa and your friend. after all, there was nothing wrong with a small catch up session between friends. it was quite a long walk but not one you’d complain about and when you arrived, it was a small yet comfortable bungalow they are living in. very suited to seonghwa’s love for simplicity.

they invited you for dinner and you chatted away quite happily until seonghwa brought up something he heard a few days ago during a party.

“i do not know if this is for sure or not but i heard yunho has been trying to separate san and your sister because your family is “unsuitable” for the chois”

“what?” you were confused.

“who said that?”

“colonel song, a close friend of his”

oh. that was the nail to the coffin you suppose.

…

after hearing what seonghwa said, you immediately took the train to go to the neighboring country to meet your sister. you went there not to meet your sister, but to meet jeong yunho instead. once you arrived, you immediately went to the jeong estate. it was raining but you couldn’t care less. but as you were on your way, you spotted him near his estate.

“miss y/n, it has been a while. i have been looking for you”

“good you’re here. wait, pardon?”

“i have been searching for you ever since i knew of angela’s presence here in this country”

“why? for what exactly?”

“i have thought about this day and night.”

yunho cleared his throat before continuing.

“in vain i have struggled, and it just will never do. my feelings have gotten to my better judgement. allow me to tell you how ardently i admire you”

“i don’t understand”

“i love you. will you please do me the honor to be mine?”

“no. i cannot”

you were beyond confused. this man separated your sister, deeming your family unfit for his standards and besides the garden conversation, he never paid any attention towards you. so what is this sudden confession.

“didn’t you say my family is unsuitable? so why are you acting like this?”

“i cannot care less. i cannot care less about statuses right now”

“so why did you separate angela and san?”

“didn’t miss angela not want it? she was being very passive and i did not want san to get heartbroken any further”

“you have no rights to do that! and no. angela loved him. the reason why she is even here is because of choi san. you have no rights to do that, mr. jeong”

“i apologize”

“is that all you could think of?’

“what more do you ask from me?”

“i don’t know. i just cannot accept it. you have always acted so cold towards me and now suddenly you’re professing your love towards me? mr. jeong, respectfully, that is not the way to get a woman’s heart. in fact that is a way to drive a woman away”

“for ever since i was born, i was raised to be indifferent. i have always been indifferent but this. this is the first time where i let all my logics out the window. this is the first time i had ever let my feelings control me, my lady. i am not asking for much.”

“right, you are an indifferent individual. then care to explain your decisions regarding the kim family?”

“what sort of decisions?”

“i don’t know, you were the one making it. why would you do that to a family that has been nothing but loyal to you, mr. jeong?”

“i am afraid you do not know anything, miss brigitte”

“oh? so i don’t know enough do i?”

“the kim family embezzled the jeongs. do you know that?”

“what?”

“miss, i did not take you for someone who blatantly believes lies. however, i do hope you would think twice before believing someone and i believe that this proposal has not come to a good ending thus i will leave now. i have gotten a carriage ready for you. my feelings have not changed at all, however i think that you might need some time, so i am granting you that time”

oh, you did a big mistake didn’t you?

…

“y/n, a letter has come for you!” your sister screamed. “angela it’s 9 PM, who would even-” you recognized that seal. that seal is not from a mere family, it was the seal of the jeongs. “when did this arrive?” you asked angela after taking the letter from her hands. “a guard sent it just now, is it from the-” “i will be in my room, alright?” you scurried to go inside of your room and quickly took your letter knife to open the letter.

to miss y/n of house brigitte i am writing,

i apologize for the disturbance as it is very late right now. however, my heart is at unrest.

i do not know where or who told you regarding what happened to the kim family however, i do hope that you would trust me more than them.

the kim family followed the jeong from the start, however the last generation of the kims has been nothing but a problem for the jeongs.

they have embezzled us out of our own mines, land, field, and everything.

as the current head of the family, i had to do what was necessary and that is to protect my own family. it was not an easy decision but ultimately, i had to exile them.

they have been getting support from the parks now, which i am grateful for.

i do hope you will stop seeing me as a horrible man, for i am serious about my feelings for you, lady brigitte.

i am sorry for the lengthy disturbance but i hope this clears out the misunderstanding between us.

good night, may you have sweet dreams.

signed, jeong yunho

…

it has been two weeks since you and your sister went to your nephew’s house and it is now time for you both to set home. this time though, your relatives are the one visiting your country. however what you didn’t expect is for you to run into yunho out in the wild.

“what are you doing here?” you asked, confused. “i was just having my stroll, greetings i am yunho from the house of jeong” he introduced himself to your relatives. “ah yes, the esteemed jeongs. we are the gardleys from the south” your uncle and aunt bowed to greet yunho which he returned in another bow. somehow, you and your party ended up in the Westnostern Palace which is a closed off territory of the jeongs. yunho offered a brunch for you and your relatives, this was out of nowhere.

it was truly a brunch for the royals. the meals served were meals only high status-ed families would eat. you were grateful but all of this felt like it came out of nowhere. perhaps this was his way of trying to win your heart and you couldn’t help but smile at it. while your relatives and yunho were chatting away, you excused yourself to go to the washroom when in reality, you wanted to take a stroll around the palace. that was when an elderly lady suddenly came up to you and struck a chat with you.

“oh my, you must be the miss brigitte everyone here is talking about!”

“pardon?”

“oh silly old me, i am margareth”

“oh, yes. i am y/n from the house of brigitte. it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance”

“yes, our little yunho has been talking about you” she said while laughing slightly. you were frozen, what is that even supposed to mean?

“talking about me?”

“oh yes, he has been going around the estate asking for advices on you know” she nudges your shoulders slightly. you didn’t know how to reply so you just laughed along.

“either way, i am glad” you stayed quiet, to listen to her.

“i am glad he has finally found love. he has been keeping his heart at such guard to the point even i, as his former caretaker, was very worried.” she continued before she held your hands gently.

“child, i know love might be scary for you but trust me. yunho is a good person, he is just a little rough at first. child, he can bring you the happiness you’ve desired since forever. i hope you can be happy with him” words could not leave your mouth, you only stared at her while she smiled at you.

“granny margareth!” you snapped out of your daze after hearing yunho’s voice.

“oh-ho, that is my cue to go now. i wish you the best of luck, child!” she said before leaving, giving you time with yunho.

he soon joined you to gaze upon the garden of the palace and stood next to you. yunho cleared his throat, making you gaze at him.

“have you finished chatting with my relatives?” you opened the conversation.

“ah yes, they were very enthusiastic people. i had a great time” his sudden soft demeanor makes you want to laugh honestly. it wasn’t a bad thing, just very out of character for him.

“i see” you replied but you couldn’t hold back your giggles

“pardon?”

“oh, no. it’s just funny to me”

“what’s funny?”

“you, right now.”

“right, i must look like a lovesick fool”

yunho admitting it himself just feels way too funny for you, causing you to go on a fit of laughter. he only stared at you, with a slight smile. taking in how he made you laugh, how your smile completely lit up his whole world. oh, he was so in love.

“lovesick fool, oh dear. i’m sorry” you try to regain your composure.

“no it’s alright, i like watching you smile” he replied. you only raised your eyebrows before one of his guard men called out to him, informing him that your relatives had finished touring the palace with his butler.

“let’s go back shall we?” he offered his hand to guide you, in which you accepted this time.

yunho isn’t as bad as you thought.

…

as if the universe is finally giving you a break, san came by the brigitte’s estate to propose to angela. you also soon found that yunho helped san get the permission of the choi family. he persuaded them to let him marry angela despite your family being inferior compared to the chois. yunho was such an enigma to you. however not one you hated, in fact one you’d love to figure out. his entire demeanor and how it changed almost in one night. how he suddenly became this soft and kind individual despite his reputations being the absolute opposite of that.

thus when he visited your estate, you couldn’t help but welcome him with open arms for what he has done for your sister.

“greetings, um” yunho stuttered slightly. he was visibly nervous and he didn’t know how to properly act this time. you couldn’t help but smile endearingly at him.

“greetings, mr. jeong. how can i possibly help you?”

“may i invite you to go on a walk with me, perhaps?”

“sure.”

…

yunho never struck you as a big romanticist. however, all of his actions recently show otherwise. this guy was a big romanticist. he is definitely a firm believer of soulmates and it is adorable. beyond the cold expression he wears, the fancy suits and coats that make him unapproachable, he is just a plain guy who loves hard.

you both strolled around the Northwestern Palace, the place you first met each other. though the first encounter was rather lukewarm, your current relationship was much better than that. when you reached at the end of the palace’s park, a glistening lake could be seen. the atmosphere was incredibly soothing and heartwarming. seeing swans nurturing each other, you couldn’t help but smile while gazing at the scenery.

“so, um. miss y/n” yunho cleared his throat.

“yes?”

“i would like to take upon this chance, to… try once again” oh, so that was what he was after.

“miss y/n of house brigitte. i, jeong yunho, have simply fallen for you. i cannot contain these feelings within me anymore. i apologize if i have ever made your heart hurt from before, however i can promise you one thing. i will devote myself to keeping that smile on your face. i will make sure your days ahead are nothing short of happiness. miss y/n, would you do me the favor of letting myself become yours?” he knelt down in front of you with a small box on his hands. it was a ring, he was proposing you. you have been in this situation several times, but none have made you this glad to receive one.

“yes, i would” you replied. this time, it was different. perhaps it was yunho’s magic finally working on you, but you couldn’t be more glad that it was him.

he quickly smiled and slipped the ring into your finger then he lifted you up in an embrace. “hey!” you laughed. “thank you” yunho gazed straight at you before pulling you in for a kiss, your first kiss.

finally, love found you.

…

“y/n, are you serious about this?” your father asked you. he had received a formal letter from the jeongs, inquiring him about their plans to officially propose you.

“yes father, look” you showed off your ring finger, now adorned with a ring that had a small aquamarine gem.

“did you not dislike him before?” your father asked you once again. he was well aware about how you felt regarding yunho since the first.

“yes but those feelings have changed. father, are you questioning my decisions now?” you replied with a grin on your face. this made your father give up and accepted the situation.

“i am glad you finally found the one” your father got up from his seat to hug you and you hugged him back.

…

“From the very beginning— from the first moment, I may almost say— of my acquaintance with you, your manners, impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance, your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, were such as to form the groundwork of disapprobation on which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike; and I had not known you a month before I felt that you were the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed on to marry.”

―

Jane Austen,

Pride and Prejudice

…

the end.

#ILL CRY #STOP IM DONE #yunho fic #yunho x reader #yunho fluff #yunho fanfic #pls #UEUEUUEUEUEUEUEUEU #this si so cute ill cry

138 notes · View notes

seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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NOOOOOOOOOO STOP OMG IM SOS SORRY😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CHIKA ARE U OK OMG :(( PLSPSLSLLSS NO NONONO YOU DESERVE BETTER U DESERVE SM BETTER

oh my gohs PLEEK DONT

sunk cost fallacy

"im reeling in my brain again, before it can get back to you."

playing ricky montgomery ...

seonghwa x fem!reader

< chapter one > chapter two (?)

genre: 4am rant, angst, second chance, ex, seonghwa mc

w/c: 2.6k

summary: he ran for you like a fool when you called him saying your car broke down after fifteen months of no contact

tw: quite poorly written (its pretty much my vents into a fic), reader METAPHORICALLY referred to as "small," no happy ending (unless this gets attention), minor swearing, just sad, thats it though

note: the indented are memories. hi guys im back from school camp hehhee!!! i have never seen angst being on the s/o's side, its always carried on the y/n which frustrates me... might delete this cus i havent proofread,, yeah i might make a pt2 of hea if anyone cares 😭

"oh what am i supposed to do, without you?"

THURSDAY 04:17

seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he was unable to sleep.

seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he minimised himself across his bed.

his mind is a merry go round, already worn out. he doesn't know if these feelings in the air are beautiful or wretched.

seonghwa had no intent of anything, before his phone rings to a call.

he looks over and reads your name across the phone screen. it was almost a reflex when he instantly straightened himself, grabbed his phone and answered.

"y/n? hello?"

“hey, seo- seonghwa…” you shudder as you say his name. “could you help me?”

oh how he missed your voice. yet, his full name sounds strange under your lips.

and only after a moment of communication on the phone, he grabs his keys off the nightstand.

˖ ࣪⭑

"sorry. i couldn't afford a tow truck," you speak through the call.

"no, don't apologise. i'm coming for you."

he's already driving through the dark, apathetic to his dishevelled state. as well as the speed limit.

you’re trapped on the side of the road with a broken down car. you happened to be without any other choice but to call him. and honestly, thank the fates that this was the situation.

“are you okay? its so loud, are you driving safely?” you say, hearing influx of seonghwa’s very own car horns.

“yeah. don’t worry. just a whole lot of mindless drivers,” he replies. people who couldn’t drive should get off the road.

as he speaks, he notices how exhausted his voice sounds, as though he hasn’t spoke in so long. but one couldn’t really get a chance to talk if there was never anyone to talk to.

more horns fill the air.

seonghwas hunches forward. he is on the brink of smashing the pedal, just to distract himself from his own overwhelming mind. the drive is so damn slow.

as he steps back, he cries, realising all is gone. "what about my friends? my parents? they all hate you. fuck it, they hate me too. im sorry. i just can't."

somebody blocks his way, and he punches the steering wheel. well, it’s more because of the memories that begin to trespass his head, however it is impossible for him to care less.

he hates himself for the way he took your vast, beautiful hope for granted during then. for how he was so dense, so scared to let his love take over his fear. and now that everything all had dissolved, he wishes he did something differently. so that perhaps the current state wouldn’t be so.

and so perhaps you wouldn’t be stranded in the middle of nowhere but a road, all alone, in the night. for hours.

you’re in trouble. and he is obliged to save you, be your hero, the way he used to, and the way he was always supposed to.

“are you alright? are you cold? do you have a jacket?” he asks through the phone, almost at your location.

he waits for a response, but he's only met with silence.

"y/n? hello? y/n??"

and there was still no answer.

his heart rate drastically increases. he's really smashing the pedal now.

"y/n,, answer me? please?? hello???" he shakes.

a hundred, a hundred and ten, a hundred and thirty.

he's so scared.

he's yelling over the phone at this point, but you're still not responding.

"Y/N!! FUCK," he yells, almost to tears, vigorously pushing his back against the seat as he continues the drive.

and when seonghwa sees your familiar vehicle in the far distance from his windscreen, he swerves his steering wheel to turn to the side. he doesn't care if he's too far to stop. he roughly slams his hand to the gear for adjustment and swiftly releases his seatbelt, stepping out of the door and slamming it behind him. he leaves his car resting diagonally out of the highway, half onto the grass, because he really doesn’t care about anything else right now.

he runs desperately towards you in the soft moonlight.

it was windy and cold while he’s wearing nothing but a thin shirt and trousers, when he appeared outside your car door, finally laying his eyes through the window.

his heart stops for a little bit, seeing you for the first time in what felt like ages.

he finds that you're asleep, and he's so relieved that you're safe. yet what currently alters him more is your mere presence right upon him. you look so fragile and so small, your knees huddled to your chest, and his stomach twists. you're prettier than he could ever remember.

and he misses you so, so much.

he gently knocks against your glass window.

and you gradually open your eyes to his panting, his wide eyed gaze, and the wind in his hair.

"y/n?"

he steps back as he watches your beautiful figure exit the car. you are thankfully wearing a thin jacket.

the moment you shut your car door, he walks over to you and engulfs you under a tight embrace.

oh how it felt for him, to hug you like this again.

"seonghwa."

he immediately noticed how you tensed up when he pulled your frame into his body, and he softly released you.

his heart breaks a little bit. he's so ashamed of his thoughtless actions.

he looks down at you, his heart twisting as he realised he was undeserving of your comfort, and takes a step back.

"my bad," he mutters under his breath, covering his face to accept the fact that he just messed up the moment he got to see you.

"no, don't worry. it's alright," you reply, smiling in a way which looks so obviously forced.

he doesn’t know what to say, as there was no excuse for the way he treated you. all he could do is look at you, noticing every little crack in your demeanour.

he guides you back to his car.

when you fell back into the structure of the road with him, the air was empty and silent.

you were unsettled of the vast tension.

"how are you doing?" you manage to say out loud, but even you flinch at your own words. a such normal phrase sounds so drastically different than it did before.

doing? how does he answer that question if he had done nothing for the past fifteen months and four days, supposedly since the day of when his love of his life had disappeared?

"i'm doing good. how about you?"

he swallows hard as he sees your lifeless expression through the corner of his eye.

he had always seen you uplifting and cheerful, yet right now he couldn’t fathom how you’re the same person. you appear so worn.

"i'm great. just a bit tired tonight."

he stares endlessly at the many lights flashing from his windscreen.

one could say it was awkward, but he is too dismantled to conclude this precious moment like that. he's happy enough that he gets to see you again, although he knows he shouldn't. but he hopes you feel the same too.

"how long were you there for?" seonghwa asks for an attempt to keep the conversation.

"well, since twelve."

he almost crashes to the car in front.

"what? are you alright?" he says. "the hell were you doing for four hours?"

"sorry. i mean.."

"no, why are you apologising? i'm just.. why are you-"

your instinct to apologise hits him greatly. seonghwa knew he was the reason for your anxiety, and he despises himself. he turns to you, and for a second, he sees all that he put you through.

"i should've listened to my friends," seonghwa tells you, broken in state. "you've done nothing but cause me stress."

he wants to throw up.

"what were you doing for four hours?? why did you have to wait four hours to call someone???" he asks with great worry.

"it was dark, and there was nobody i could contact. i called all my friends, and none responded. i assumed they were asleep."

although he is happier to find you again, it still hurts that his wound is severely reopened by this moment beside you alone. it hurts that he couldn't even blame your search for him.

"i initially planned to wait until the next morning, but i lost patience. i called you, and you picked up almost instantly," you conclude.

after when you said the last sentence, he suddenly felt like you knew him too well.

perhaps you also knew that the sole reason he never falls asleep was because of you. because he is waiting for you. because he still loves you so much, he couldn't sleep bearing the thought of his feelings unrequited.

"you're safe now," he says.

you tighten, bringing your arms closer to yourself. "thank you so much. for this. seriously. i know i'm probably not the person you wanted to see."

"don't be sorry. please don't. i'm happy to see you again."

the moment was now quiet, but calming to the ears.

he felt lucky he didn't give up on the sunrise too soon. if fifteen dreadful months led to having an hour with you, he's more than grateful.

he wonders if you feel the same. that you're happy too.

he wanted to convince himself that maybe you lied when you said you couldn’t afford a tow truck. that maybe, just maybe, you wanted to see him again.

"are you hungry?" he asks to fill the air. you must be.

"no," you reply.

"lets stop to eat."

"no, it's okay. i'm not hungry."

"you lie too much. you've been stuck in some damn car for half a lifetime. we're eating, yeah?" he says, and there's no stopping him.

truthfully, he did not care if you were uncomfortable eating with him. he felt selfish, inconsiderate. he panicked when he watched the gps get closer and closer to you're place. he only wanted to use this chance to find more time with you regardless, because he knew you would never come back to loving him no matter how hard he tries.

"fine," you admit. but it sounded like you really wanted to stop to eat with him. and he wanted to believe that.

"what about convenience store food?" he says.

he knows you love miniature food. it's far more accessible to have many small packs of diverse dishes, rather than otherwise.

you smile, and his heart flutters ballistic.

you laugh once you walk into the bright, empty store with him.

"i want sushi… i really craved sushi," you say, pointing to the aisle.

"of course you do," he smiles, following you.

you take a compact sized pack that's fairly cheap, and now it starts.

he waits there in the corner as you run around the small store, taking almost anything you think looks good. he watches you far happier than before, and he felt something in his chest that wasn't fear. more so, it felt like he finally released all that he carried.

seonghwa felt alive again for the first time after fifteen months.

"this!!" you suddenly come into sight, holding about six or seven packets of food that you almost struggled to carry.

"you want that?" he chuckles. "alright."

there was no queue, so he went straight over with you to pay. seonghwa gets nothing but a small coffee.

if he could at least be your friend again, there's nothing more that he could ever want.

he leads you out of the place, back into the car. he held the door for you.

"thank you," you say. "thank you so much."

"don't worry," he replies.

once he gets in the car, he views you opening your food. although he used to recognise himself as a mass eater, he doesn't remember the last time he did. his body is destroyed with nothing but coffee and water.

and when he starts driving, he watches you enjoy your food. he softens more than ever at the sight.

"want some?" you ask, holding out a whole ice cream tub you're just scooping with a spoon. you're quite of a silly person.

seonghwa laughs. "i'm driving."

sooner or later, you hold up the same spoon of vanilla ice cream to his face. his heart beats faster before he takes a bite out.

"shove it in," you laugh at the way he's struggling.

he tries his hardest not to laugh in order to properly eat the ice cream.

"goodness, you're so peculiar," he says after he managed to consume the load.

"no, you are," you say. "youre the strangest person i know."

he smiles and turns to you for a second, unable to say anything. "well, i dont eat my ice cream off its tub."

"i dont eat four ramen packets at once," you rebut, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"oh be quiet right now," he replies.

you laugh, scooping another piece straight from the tub.

"i don't care about that. i know its impossible, but i want to believe its possible," you say, with the eyes of the most warmth so generously offered to him.

and there the two are, acting as though nothing had happened between them, acting as two lovers.

˖ ࣪⭑

he follows you to the apartment complex you stay in, and he's unable to let you go.

as you say your farewells walk away into the building, he catches your wrist, and you turn around.

"i still love you. im sorry i messed up before," he whispers to you. he steps closer as he takes his slightly trembling fingers to guide a stray hair behind your ear.

you didn't expect the sudden confession. "seonghwa.."

he shuts his mouth. the way you hesitate sort of leaves him uneasy. he stops to look at you, to cherish this little time he has with you. who knows if this will be the last time he sees you?

no matter how far it hurts him to admit, he couldn't deny how beautiful you are.

"can we try again?" he says almost mindlessly. he felt like he lost everything with that sentence, and wishes he could take it back.

it was silent for only a moment. those few seconds were more anticipating than he had ever felt, he wishes he were gone.

you looked down, as though trying to find what to say. there was nothing but ringing in his ear, until you answered, "i’m interested in somebody else."

"im sorry," he mutters, shamefully pulling away. he covers half his face with his palms to look down upon for a second. it's shattering when he absorbs all your words, burrowing them deep under his anguished heart.

you moved on already?

"its okay." you reply.

who is this new man? is it your really close colleague he never liked? or your guy that's always been part of your friend group?

"why is it so hard for you to just trust me?" you yell, and it seems as the glass tipped over.

he lets go of his arms. "who is this guy?" he asks, almost instictively. he spoke more aggressively than he intended.

"i don't think you're obligated to know."

he tightens his eyes shut.

so fast. you’re so fast. everyone is so fast. it had been fifteen months, yet he’s still in the same place he was in those fifteen months ago.

you’re moving on, while he had stopped. how does he fill the gap that does not shrink?

you’ve really given up on him.

you like someone else.

it's all over.

he subtly bites his lip, stepping back. he couldn't even look at you anymore. "well, i..." he barely mumbles, his voice trembling. "i really wish i could be the man you fell in love with again. i really do."

you almost flinch, looking away from him. you couldn't believe he could say such a thing. you seemed like you pitied him, for how vulnerable he currently reveals to you. "i’m sorry. just... leave me alone for a bit, yeah?"

it felt like knives to his heart. "you want me to leave?"

his voice is breaking. he looks back up to you, trying so hard to find a hint in your expression that you wanted to take it back, even a tiny hint, but he couldn’t.

"if thats okay," you say, as he freezes at your words. he felt like he said something he shouldn't have. what if this is the last time? what if this is really the last encounter? is this the moment everything is said?

“okay. then i'll.. then i'll see you,” his voice slightly trembles.

"im sorry. i'll see you," you reply, watching him leave.

"i wish i was strong enough. for us,” he says.

seonghwa steps back, and follows hesitantly. he stares to the cold, stone ground, exiting the complex as all his instincts scream against him.

the way you speak is destroying him piece by piece. he doesn't want to step any further away from you. he could never accept that you no longer love him. but if this is what you choose, he couldn't really do anything.

his love for you is overflowing in his hands. who else could he give this to if you refuse it? it hurts to carry.

its okay. he’s is willing to wait more for you. for something to happen again.

but how long will it take?

#STOP WHAT #HELLO #JUSTICE FOR CHIKA #PLSPL LMG #HELP TAYLOR SWIFT PLAYLIST??😭😭😭😭😭#IM CRYING LMAOOOO #rynn spam </3 #UR SO SWEET :(#UEUEUEUEUEUEEUEUEUEUEE #ily btw ilyilyily ilys #ilysmsmsmm #😭😭😭😭😭💔😭💔😭💔💔😭😭#kinda want a bee eff to watch them sleep and eat now 🤕🤕

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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hey hey! saku’s moot here <3

i don’t read much ateez but i’m here to support :D

SO KIND SO SWEET SO ANGEL SO UEUEUEUEUEUEUEU??@&?@?&!@?&?' ITS OKAY NO YOURE SO CUTE IM SO GRATEFUL THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

#OH SOTP IT #i will actually not stay solid atp #UDUEEUUEUEUE #UR SO EVERYTHING #UR SO SWEET #WGAR IF I CRY #rynn spam </3 #ilyilyily #ilysm :(

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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HI EVERYONE!!!! my bsf irl has js opened a ateezblr acc and id love for my kpop moots/readers to send her the love she deserves 🥹 her bday was also on the 7th!!! her fics have recently hit milestones!!! pleas support her <333 /nf @seonghw4ffles

tagging atiny moots <3 @bxckkdoor @kairoot @blue-jisungs

kpop moots <3 @wave2tyun @sun-of-ghosts @okwonyos @urszn @mazeinthemoon @wonfilms

NOT FORCING AGAIN JS WANNA SUPPORT THE LOML!!! LOVE U ALL HEHE!! also one follower away from milestone huhu...

#EUUEUEUEUEU NO ME I LOVE YOU SOSOSOO MUCH #:(#rynn spam </3 #i will i will i will cry

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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MY LOVE I WILL FOREVER SMOOCH YOU WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK. UEUEUUEUEUEUUEUEUUEUEUE

tagging atiny moots <3 @bxckkdoor @kairoot @blue-jisungs

kpop moots <3 @wave2tyun @sun-of-ghosts @okwonyos @urszn @mazeinthemoon @wonfilms

NOT FORCING AGAIN JS WANNA SUPPORT THE LOML!!! LOVE U ALL HEHE!! also one follower away from milestone huhu...

#OK WHAT #rynn spam </3 #WOEUFHGSALEUIGLAIUGH #saku i actually love u so bad #IM DEVASTATED #UEUUEUEUEUE #whay if what if what if i skydive without a parachute

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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<3 WELCOME MY LOVES !

MASTERLIST + REQUESTS : OPEN

‹‹ rynn ❝ s / her !! certified shinestar ˖ ࣪ ⊹ minor + christian . life goal to love @/sweetheartsaku @/vcutparis @/jjoongstar :( <3

TOP ; falling asleep on his arm ♡ ateez hyung line

LATEST ; sunk cost fallacy ✧ p.seonghwa

#rynns navigation!!!!!!

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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masterlist

hihii!! im rynn,, im quite of a newbie here,, please be my moot qwq

NOTICE:

⊹ requests always open pls ill be so happy

⊹ for { ✰ in progress } works, reply for a tag if you want<33 ill be so happy

[⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅] miscellaneous [♡] fluff [✧] angst [✰] in progress

ateez

♡ hyung line — falling asleep on his arm . no matter how much you try to stay awake you fell asleep anyway...... on your untrustworthy boyfriend.

⊹ park seonghwa

✧ sunk cost fallacy "i..." he barely mumbles, his voice trembling. "i really wish i could be the man you fell in love with again. i really do."

✰ ballroom extravaganza “what are we doing? you ask. he gently pauses for a moment, looking to you with eyes which do not decieve. his voice is soft and tender against your ears as he responds, “dancing. like we should’ve at the ball.”

⊹ kim hongjoong

♡ daydream "can you just… stop being so… you, right now?" you stop walking, overwhelmed by all his damn joy.

⊹ kang yeosang

♡ princess fairy-cupcake-sprinkles "you should name it....." you hum, lost in thought for ideas, "oh!! i know!! you should name it princess fluffy-cupcake-sparkles!!" "that name is completely ridiculous," he says.

✰ inferno can a love survive in a storm of fire?

#rynns navigation!!!!!!#ateez imagines #ateez x reader #ateez fic #crying wtf

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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sunk cost fallacy

"im reeling in my brain again, before it can get back to you."

playing ricky montgomery ...

seonghwa x fem!reader

< chapter one > chapter two (?)

genre: 4am rant, angst, second chance, ex, seonghwa mc

w/c: 2.6k

summary: he ran for you like a fool when you called him saying your car broke down after fifteen months of no contact

tw: quite poorly written (its pretty much my vents into a fic), reader METAPHORICALLY referred to as "small," no happy ending (unless this gets attention), minor swearing, just sad, thats it though

"oh what am i supposed to do, without you?"

THURSDAY 04:17

seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he was unable to sleep.

seonghwa had no intent of anything, when he minimised himself across his bed.

his mind is a merry go round, already worn out. he doesn't know if these feelings in the air are beautiful or wretched.

seonghwa had no intent of anything, before his phone rings to a call.

he looks over and reads your name across the phone screen. it was almost a reflex when he instantly straightened himself, grabbed his phone and answered.

"y/n? hello?"

“hey, seo- seonghwa…” you shudder as you say his name. “could you help me?”

oh how he missed your voice. yet, his full name sounds strange under your lips.

and only after a moment of communication on the phone, he grabs his keys off the nightstand.

˖ ࣪⭑

"sorry. i couldn't afford a tow truck," you speak through the call.

"no, don't apologise. i'm coming for you."

he's already driving through the dark, apathetic to his dishevelled state. as well as the speed limit.

you’re trapped on the side of the road with a broken down car. you happened to be without any other choice but to call him. and honestly, thank the fates that this was the situation.

“are you okay? its so loud, are you driving safely?” you say, hearing influx of seonghwa’s very own car horns.

“yeah. don’t worry. just a whole lot of mindless drivers,” he replies. people who couldn’t drive should get off the road.

as he speaks, he notices how exhausted his voice sounds, as though he hasn’t spoke in so long. but one couldn’t really get a chance to talk if there was never anyone to talk to.

more horns fill the air.

seonghwas hunches forward. he is on the brink of smashing the pedal, just to distract himself from his own overwhelming mind. the drive is so damn slow.

as he steps back, he cries, realising all is gone. "what about my friends? my parents? they all hate you. fuck it, they hate me too. im sorry. i just can't."

somebody blocks his way, and he punches the steering wheel. well, it’s more because of the memories that begin to trespass his head, however it is impossible for him to care less.

and so perhaps you wouldn’t be stranded in the middle of nowhere but a road, all alone, in the night. for hours.

you’re in trouble. and he is obliged to save you, be your hero, the way he used to, and the way he was always supposed to.

“are you alright? are you cold? do you have a jacket?” he asks through the phone, almost at your location.

he waits for a response, but he's only met with silence.

"y/n? hello? y/n??"

and there was still no answer.

his heart rate drastically increases. he's really smashing the pedal now.

"y/n,, answer me? please?? hello???" he shakes.

a hundred, a hundred and ten, a hundred and thirty.

he's so scared.

he's yelling over the phone at this point, but you're still not responding.

"Y/N!! FUCK," he yells, almost to tears, vigorously pushing his back against the seat as he continues the drive.

he runs desperately towards you in the soft moonlight.

it was windy and cold while he’s wearing nothing but a thin shirt and trousers, when he appeared outside your car door, finally laying his eyes through the window.

his heart stops for a little bit, seeing you for the first time in what felt like ages.

and he misses you so, so much.

he gently knocks against your glass window.

and you gradually open your eyes to his panting, his wide eyed gaze, and the wind in his hair.

"y/n?"

he steps back as he watches your beautiful figure exit the car. you are thankfully wearing a thin jacket.

the moment you shut your car door, he walks over to you and engulfs you under a tight embrace.

oh how it felt for him, to hug you like this again.

"seonghwa."

he immediately noticed how you tensed up when he pulled your frame into his body, and he softly released you.

his heart breaks a little bit. he's so ashamed of his thoughtless actions.

he looks down at you, his heart twisting as he realised he was undeserving of your comfort, and takes a step back.

"my bad," he mutters under his breath, covering his face to accept the fact that he just messed up the moment he got to see you.

"no, don't worry. it's alright," you reply, smiling in a way which looks so obviously forced.

he doesn’t know what to say, as there was no excuse for the way he treated you. all he could do is look at you, noticing every little crack in your demeanour.

he guides you back to his car.

when you fell back into the structure of the road with him, the air was empty and silent.

you were unsettled of the vast tension.

"how are you doing?" you manage to say out loud, but even you flinch at your own words. a such normal phrase sounds so drastically different than it did before.

doing? how does he answer that question if he had done nothing for the past fifteen months and four days, supposedly since the day of when his love of his life had disappeared?

"i'm doing good. how about you?"

he swallows hard as he sees your lifeless expression through the corner of his eye.

he had always seen you uplifting and cheerful, yet right now he couldn’t fathom how you’re the same person. you appear so worn.

"i'm great. just a bit tired tonight."

he stares endlessly at the many lights flashing from his windscreen.

"how long were you there for?" seonghwa asks for an attempt to keep the conversation.

"well, since twelve."

he almost crashes to the car in front.

"what? are you alright?" he says. "the hell were you doing for four hours?"

"sorry. i mean.."

"no, why are you apologising? i'm just.. why are you-"

your instinct to apologise hits him greatly. seonghwa knew he was the reason for your anxiety, and he despises himself. he turns to you, and for a second, he sees all that he put you through.

"i should've listened to my friends," seonghwa tells you, broken in state. "you've done nothing but cause me stress."

he wants to throw up.

"what were you doing for four hours?? why did you have to wait four hours to call someone???" he asks with great worry.

"it was dark, and there was nobody i could contact. i called all my friends, and none responded. i assumed they were asleep."

although he is happier to find you again, it still hurts that his wound is severely reopened by this moment beside you alone. it hurts that he couldn't even blame your search for him.

"i initially planned to wait until the next morning, but i lost patience. i called you, and you picked up almost instantly," you conclude.

after when you said the last sentence, he suddenly felt like you knew him too well.

"you're safe now," he says.

you tighten, bringing your arms closer to yourself. "thank you so much. for this. seriously. i know i'm probably not the person you wanted to see."

"don't be sorry. please don't. i'm happy to see you again."

the moment was now quiet, but calming to the ears.

he felt lucky he didn't give up on the sunrise too soon. if fifteen dreadful months led to having an hour with you, he's more than grateful.

he wonders if you feel the same. that you're happy too.

he wanted to convince himself that maybe you lied when you said you couldn’t afford a tow truck. that maybe, just maybe, you wanted to see him again.

"are you hungry?" he asks to fill the air. you must be.

"no," you reply.

"lets stop to eat."

"no, it's okay. i'm not hungry."

"you lie too much. you've been stuck in some damn car for half a lifetime. we're eating, yeah?" he says, and there's no stopping him.

"fine," you admit. but it sounded like you really wanted to stop to eat with him. and he wanted to believe that.

"what about convenience store food?" he says.

he knows you love miniature food. it's far more accessible to have many small packs of diverse dishes, rather than otherwise.

you smile, and his heart flutters ballistic.

you laugh once you walk into the bright, empty store with him.

"i want sushi… i really craved sushi," you say, pointing to the aisle.

"of course you do," he smiles, following you.

you take a compact sized pack that's fairly cheap, and now it starts.

seonghwa felt alive again for the first time after fifteen months.

"this!!" you suddenly come into sight, holding about six or seven packets of food that you almost struggled to carry.

"you want that?" he chuckles. "alright."

there was no queue, so he went straight over with you to pay. seonghwa gets nothing but a small coffee.

if he could at least be your friend again, there's nothing more that he could ever want.

he leads you out of the place, back into the car. he held the door for you.

"thank you," you say. "thank you so much."

"don't worry," he replies.

and when he starts driving, he watches you enjoy your food. he softens more than ever at the sight.

"want some?" you ask, holding out a whole ice cream tub you're just scooping with a spoon. you're quite of a silly person.

seonghwa laughs. "i'm driving."

sooner or later, you hold up the same spoon of vanilla ice cream to his face. his heart beats faster before he takes a bite out.

"shove it in," you laugh at the way he's struggling.

he tries his hardest not to laugh in order to properly eat the ice cream.

"goodness, you're so peculiar," he says after he managed to consume the load.

"no, you are," you say. "youre the strangest person i know."

he smiles and turns to you for a second, unable to say anything. "well, i dont eat my ice cream off its tub."

"i dont eat four ramen packets at once," you rebut, hitting his shoulder playfully.

"oh be quiet right now," he replies.

you laugh, scooping another piece straight from the tub.

"i don't care about that. i know its impossible, but i want to believe its possible," you say, with the eyes of the most warmth so generously offered to him.

and there the two are, acting as though nothing had happened between them, acting as two lovers.

˖ ࣪⭑

he follows you to the apartment complex you stay in, and he's unable to let you go.

as you say your farewells walk away into the building, he catches your wrist, and you turn around.

"i still love you. im sorry i messed up before," he whispers to you. he steps closer as he takes his slightly trembling fingers to guide a stray hair behind your ear.

you didn't expect the sudden confession. "seonghwa.."

he shuts his mouth. the way you hesitate sort of leaves him uneasy. he stops to look at you, to cherish this little time he has with you. who knows if this will be the last time he sees you?

no matter how far it hurts him to admit, he couldn't deny how beautiful you are.

"can we try again?" he says almost mindlessly. he felt like he lost everything with that sentence, and wishes he could take it back.

it was silent for only a moment. those few seconds were more anticipating than he had ever felt, he wishes he were gone.

you looked down, as though trying to find what to say. there was nothing but ringing in his ear, until you answered, "i’m interested in somebody else."

you moved on already?

"its okay." you reply.

who is this new man? is it your really close colleague he never liked? or your guy that's always been part of your friend group?

"why is it so hard for you to just trust me?" you yell, and it seems as the glass tipped over.

he lets go of his arms. "who is this guy?" he asks, almost instictively. he spoke more aggressively than he intended.

"i don't think you're obligated to know."

he tightens his eyes shut.

so fast. you’re so fast. everyone is so fast. it had been fifteen months, yet he’s still in the same place he was in those fifteen months ago.

you’re moving on, while he had stopped. how does he fill the gap that does not shrink?

you’ve really given up on him.

you like someone else.

it's all over.

it felt like knives to his heart. "you want me to leave?"

his voice is breaking. he looks back up to you, trying so hard to find a hint in your expression that you wanted to take it back, even a tiny hint, but he couldn’t.

“okay. then i'll.. then i'll see you,” his voice slightly trembles.

"im sorry. i'll see you," you reply, watching him leave.

"i wish i was strong enough. for us,” he says.

seonghwa steps back, and follows hesitantly. he stares to the cold, stone ground, exiting the complex as all his instincts scream against him.

his love for you is overflowing in his hands. who else could he give this to if you refuse it? it hurts to carry.

its okay. he’s is willing to wait more for you. for something to happen again.

but how long will it take?

#seonghwa fanfic #seonghwa ff #seonghwa fic #ateez imagines #park seonghwa ff #seonghwa angst #ateez angst #seonghwa x reader #seonghwa fanfiction

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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SH 💫 [240804] Instagram Update "Today, I'm going to talk about something a little bit honestly. Not even a year has passed and my family went through a hard time. It's really hard to let go of someone you love. Actually, I'm not okay. I'm not. But when I think of my dad and mom's tears, I have to hold them back. I had to hide my feelings for a better performance. If I stay still, tears will well up, so I have to work, exercise, or do anything. When dawn came, I had to swallow my flowing tears and wander through the long emptiness. I was living alone in time that had stopped. I guess sadness settled in my heart because I missed the time to cry. I used to think that our time together was eternal. I believed in moments that would be remembered farther than eternity. However, I learned through several goodbyes that life is not eternal. The reason I'm saying this is because we still have time, and because of that this life is so precious. So don't live a life of hating and jealousy toward each other, but cherish and love each other. Don't be stingy with the words "I love you." Even if that's me. Please promise me. I will let go of the sadness, I will cry when I need to cry, I will stand up again no matter what pain comes, I will cherish myself. I earnestly hope that you all can become someone's star. You can do it. You are already my stars. It is so heartbreaking to say goodbye to my grandparents who made me who I am today, but the love I received from them will always remain in my heart and protect me forever. It feels as if only now I am truly saying goodbye. I'm sorry it's so late. Now I will let time that has stopped flow by. I will also let the sadness go. Where my ATINYs are, where my ATEEZ members are, this is my home 🩶"

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seonghw4ffles · 11 months ago

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HELPPPSKSODKKSKSKS I KNOW RIGHTTT hes so 💔💔💔

princess fluffy-cupcake-sparkles

i'll be the laziest superman, so follow me !

playing happy fools, poppin love ..

yeosang x fem!reader

au: a school project at a flower garden

genre: grumpy!yeosang x sunshine!reader, fluff, tsundere, a piece of dialogue, a jealous-but-dont-wanna-admit-it yeosang

wc: 1.0k

summary: if a yeosang hated animals but only tolerated them for you

tw: yeosang jelly of wooyoung

note: inspired by that one scene in ouabh and dude i was like ooo yeosang HELP ong i js pulled this out of my notes app tbh there is no reason for anything TT i love nonchalant yeosang so much idk why....

yeosang stood far from the venue, his back to a large stone. a mysterious creature, which he soon figures is a cat, approaches him and starts to sniff his shoes. he struggles, unfamiliar with dealing with animals.

the cat was white coated, with large patches of orange and black laid all over itself. a calico cat, but yeosang does not know that. he is not familiar with whatever sort of cat breeds there are or its names, nor does he care.

he tried to kick it away, but it does not leave.

"interesting..." he mutters.

yeosang notices that you have already arrived from the payment stall, though he does not react.

you are at the botanical garden with yeosang, required to take pictures for a school travel project of visiting significant places around town.

when you find a cat meandering around his feet, you giggle. "it must like you!!"

"perhaps it does." he looks down at the cat and stares at it.

previously, you insisted to pay for the entry fee, but yeosang blackmailed you to not do so, to use his card instead.

he sighs and then speaks to it. "leave me alone, mutt."

as he says so, his eyes subtly widen with agitation at the fact it does not want to leave.

"you should name it. spill some ideas," you smile as you look down to the cat.

yeosang looks up at you in confusion and disbelief, as if it was a foolish act to name a random animal from the woods.

"what?"

"why should i? it's not my pet, it's just a stray." he replies, dismissing your suggestion.

but he keeps his gaze on the little animal, which doesn't seem to leave him alone.

"hmm." he starts to speak to it. "stay if you wish... but do not expect any attention from me."

you chuckle at his decision to talk to the cat, becoming more and more amused. it is visible that you already grew fond of the stray cat.

"you should name it....." you hum, lost in thought for ideas, "oh!! i know!! you should name it princess fluffy-cupcake-sparkles!!"

"that name is completely ridiculous," he says, his expression becoming a form of disgust when he looks back down at the cat. "how does a creature like this deserve such a name? if i had a pet, which i never will, the name would make sense."

you look up from the cat to yeosang, your expression dissipating to a blank, empty stare of disappointment. you almost choose to abandon this whole project despite its relevance to your grading, solely to leave yeosang to do it all alone.

"next time i choose a partner to do this project with, it'll be with someone who has a sense of humour. maybe someone like wooyoung."

yeosang's gaze ever so slowly travels from your toes to your eyes, his face turning to indifference. he ignores the cat and its intentions, looking directly at you.

a moment of silence ensues as he attempts to figure out what to say.

"yes, go ahead and partner with wooyoung. i would like to see the result of your foolish decision."

you get surprised by the sudden tone. the answer is also astonishing, as you expected a response of apathy. "oh come on, it was even more of a foolish decision to partner with you," you reply.

"you chose to do this with me simply because you did not have friends. it was foolish on your part to believe things would be of joy for you," he says, maintaining his usual tone.

you tried not to take offence.

he looks down at the cat and finally, with a heavy sigh, he decides to entertain the idea of naming it.

"fine, i will name it. but not with that stupid name."

you're taken back. you're surprised by how easily he is induced, knowing how dense of an individual he is. he seemed to be affected by the mere mention of your choice of a partner being wooyoung, to the major extent that he had to agree to do such a thing.

"if i didn't know you better, i would say you're jealous of him," you say.

he stays silent for a moment, glaring back up at you again. "jealousy is not something i am used to feeling," he pauses, his voice vastly unwelcoming."i did not agree to talk or joke about wooyoung."

a moment of silence ensues between the two of you. the cat continues sniffing around and starts to walk towards him again. it circles around his feet, rubbing itself to his leather boots.

"princess fluffy-cupcake-sprinkles already claims you as his owner," you smile.

"do not associate me with the cat." yeosang says, and you can sense that his patience with your jokes are starting to dwindle. the cat steps a short distance away from him after a few moments and simply stares at him from afar, growing bored of him.

you chuckle at the reaction of yeosang. "i dont know why you dislike such adorable creatures."

he shakes his head and groans.

"its a mere animal. why am i expected to pay any attention to it?" he sighs.

he attempts find relish in the cat for you're very sake, but he knows very well that the cat is annoying him more and more by its mere presence alone.

with one last glance, the cat finally leaves and moves on elsewhere.

he relaxes a bit, but his expression remains unchanged. he clears his throat. "now that that's taken care of, let's go."

"wait," you say. yeosang turns right after he starts walking to the venue, watching you carefully sneak over towards the cat again. he is in major disappointment to your stupid, futile decisions.

you manage to pick up the cat, and it does not run. "yeosang!!" you hold up the obedient feline and smile widely.

he instantly softens.

"well, what do you intend with that thing?" he asks.

"take the pictures with it!!" you reply. you carry the cat over your shoulder, and you run over to yeosang.

"do you think the garden allows it?" he says with a genuine intent of reminding you that you are stepping into a neat garden of flowers.

"how could they refuse it? look!" you hold up the damn cat, smiling illuminantly. "princess fluffy-cupcake-sparkles!!"

he refuses to admit what you're smile does to him.

"princess.." he struggles, ashamed of the lengths he goes for you. "princess fluffy-cupcake-sparkles."

#UR SO SWEET :(#ilysmsmsmsms #PLEEEK youre such a blessing to this world #rynn spam </3 #URUEUEUEUUEUE ☹️☹️💗💗💗💗

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