serenecirce

[serenecirce]

[serenecirce]

I’ve planted the seeds to my own garden

I water them occasionally

I feed them lots of sunshine

I speak to them

I smile when I look in the mirror

I laugh at random things

I make faces at small children

And I even dance in the rain

I am a flower in my garden

Watch me bloom and blossom!

[serenecirce]

I used to think you could hear me

When I called your name into the void

I used to think we were connected

That our souls would speak without making a sound

Maybe it’s still true

So while my mouth is radio silence

The soul speak volumes

But the words aren’t gentle

No

I only speak in venom

I spit curses

And when you hear those sweet antagonising voices in your head

The ones that sting like flames

Well I can’t say they aren’t me

But don’t worry

I only speak in truths

And the truth always hurts

Right?

[serenecirce]

There aren’t words to express exactly how I feel yet.

I am weightless

Floating towards something I can’t see

It’s as if a fire broke out in my chest

I welcome this with open arms

[serenecirce]

Mark me, I’ll be in love one day soon

i’ll be very honest, being loved by someone like me isn’t soft or beautiful or poetic the way people romanticize it. it’s dark. it’s obsessive. it’s a kind of hunger that doesn’t stop once it starts. and the worst part? when you live far from the person you love, the love doesn’t dissolve— it ferments. it festers. the poems stop sounding like love letters and start feeling like screams no one hears. it’s not yearning anymore, it’s erosion. a slow-burning cannibalism of your own self.

because what’s the point of loving someone you can’t touch? can’t reach? can’t whisper things to at 2 am when the world is too quiet and your brain won’t shut up? it just stays trapped. inside you. turns sour. turns sharp. turns cruel. and then it spreads. into your fists. into your teeth. into the corners of your smile. and you carry it around like a curse no one else can see.

it’s fucking miserable being loved by someone like me. because i don’t just love. i collapse. quietly. completely. endlessly.

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[serenecirce]

I am evil

I am filth

I am the dirt on your gravestone (don’t you wish you were a little more gentle to me?)

I am cold

I’m corrupted

Why don’t you shoot me in your yard?

Before I spread my whispers across the seas,

letting everyone know how much of waste of space you might be

I’m not kindhearted

I am hollow

You should know, you took it from me

[serenecirce]

Nikos Kazantzakis, from a letter featured in The Selected Letters of Nikos Kazantzakis

[serenecirce]

I hope to god I never feel again

[serenecirce]

I am a wasteland

A hurricane came in and threw the rest of me so far away I hope I never land

In the midst of the carnage lays my heart

Or what’s left of it

A crumbled barely beating heart

And to think

It wanted to beat for you

Foolish little thing

-Athena

[serenecirce]

If words are spells

Then call this a curse

κάθε προφορά που ακούς,

κάθε σύρσιμο που παίρνεις,

κάθε αστείο που ακούς,

κάθε έντονο φως,

να σου θυμίζει εμένα

μέχρι να αρρωστήσεις από τύψεις,

να σε στοιχειώνω για όλη την αιωνιότητα

As it’s spoken, I release my curse

[serenecirce]

one of my sexual fantasies is to have someone notice my absence and wonder about me

[serenecirce]

I am too tired and I miss you too much.

Simone de Beauvoir 

[serenecirce]

You and I

We move entwined

Spiritually connected

With your hand in mine

I hear you in heartbeats

I feel you in the sunshine

I think of you when the moon rises

Reminiscing about when you were at my side

The way you smile at me in the light

The thought of you brings me comfort

When I can’t sleep at night

Although I wish things were different

I hope I never leave your mind

-Athena

[serenecirce]

[serenecirce]

Chair de ma chair

It hit me like a ton of bricks

J'ai envie de vengeance comme des bonbons

It crawls up my body like termites

Je cherche à me venger comme un œil endolori

It runs through me like water

Je désire ta chair comme un fruit

But what is it?

J'ai soif de sang. Je suis méchant. Je suis l'obscurité. Je suis toi.

-Athena

[serenecirce]

I was once wilted

Trapped under the debris of my own tragedy

Hiding the pain behind bright smiles and funny jokes

Then suddenly you appeared

Watering the seeds that were once forgotten

Working the soil with your hands

Now I glow as bright as the sun

So full of love

From my only one

-Athena