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Chapter 4: The Where of It
Spencer Reid x reader
Summary: Small snippets of how you opened yourself up to love after years of heartbreak. Small snippets of how a Spencer Reid can enter your life little by little.
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He sat alone in the quiet of his apartment, the light from his desk lamp soft and golden, casting long shadows over the tower of books that hadn’t been alphabetized since his last obsessive reordering.
He tapped the pen against the edge of the notebook—not just any notebook, but the one he used when his thoughts were too personal to go into the margins of a psychology journal or the back of a case file.
The question wasn’t whether he wanted to ask her out.
That part was already determined—in the rapid increase of his dopamine levels every time she smiled, in the way she always made eye contact just half a second longer than necessary, in the fact that she once remembered he didn’t like cream in his coffee, unprompted.
Statistically speaking, he reminded himself, first dates that involve shared interests have a significantly higher chance of leading to second dates. But this wasn’t about statistics, anymore. This was about her. And he wasn’t trying to impress her — not with knowledge, not with facts. She’d already seen that part of him. And the best part? She didn’t shrink beneath it. She didn’t stop him in between statistic rants. She leaned in. She listened.
Now he just wanted to find a place that felt like her.
He thought about taking her to that botanical garden on the north side of the city. The one with the glass conservatory and hidden benches tucked beneath flowering tress. It looked serene…so magical…based on the pictures Penelope showed him on a whim on Tuesday morning. He remembered, as soon as he saw the picture, Y/N once told him she liked spaces that felt secret. He liked that.
But then again, maybe a quiet bookstore would suit her better, the kind with hardwood floors and handwritten staff recommendations, he could bring her a copy of that poetry collection she mentioned offhand two weeks ago. He had written it down. Of course he would. For her, he would.
So where?
He scrubbed another line on his notebook.
Art museum? Too quiet. She’s overthink her silence.
Coffee again? No… too safe
Botanical garden.
He circled that once. Then twice. Then thrice. That was it. Yes. Not because it was grand. Not because it would make her fall for him. But because it was the kind of place where her shoulder might relax. Where her voice might come alive. Where she might feel—even for just a moment—like she could be exactly who she was, and he’d never ask her to be anything else.
He closed his notebook. Pulled out his phone. Typed the message—paused—then erased it.
Typed again.
Paused.
Tried once more:
Spencer: There’s a place I’ve been thinking about. A garden cafe. It has wisteria and quiet corners, and they make really good cinnamon tea. I thought maybe you’d like it. If…you’d want to go. With me.
He reread it. Out loud. Twice.
Nodded once to himself
Then sent it before he could overanalyze it a ninth time.
He sat back, heartbeat slightly elevated. He knew because he checked his pulse. It was irrational, maybe, how much he hoped she’d say yes. But when it came to her, logic always took a back seat to wonder.
Ding.
Y/N: I’d like that. We could go when your schedule clears up!
#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer x yn#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid#spencer reid x femreader#criminal minds fandom#bau team#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#bau!reader#reader insert#x reader
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Chapter 3: The Beginning of Intention
Spencer Reid x reader
Summary: Small snippets of how you opened yourself up to love after years of heartbreak. Small snippets of how a Spencer Reid can enter your life little by little.
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Spencer stared at the message he sent the night before. The one you didn’t reply to. He didn’t expect you to—not really. He just wanted to hold space for you. Still, he found himself checking his phone one too many times the next morning, hoping for even a “seen”. There wasn’t one. He walked into the BAU bullpen with tired eyes and a slower step.
“Long night, pretty boy? Let me guess, stayed up reading late again.” Morgan teased him. Spencer sighed as he clutched his satchel and took off his scarf and placed it on his chair.
“Oh Morgan, leave the genius and his books alone.” Emily said as she offered a cup of coffee to Spencer.
“Thanks, Emily. Uh yeah, I was reading late last night again… Couldn’t sleep. Had something on my mind.” Spencer said as he rubbed his tired eyes.
“Ohhhh, is that by any chance a lady friend?” Morgan laughed as he pressed Spencer on the topic. Spencer dismiss the topic with a shook of his head just in time for Hotch to announce they have a new case and to gather at the round table.
Spencer walked towards the conference room. Just in time for Penelope to match his step, “Pretty boy, you okay?” She asked in a tone that didn’t press. Spencer replied by nodding while Penelope gave him a pat on the back.
“Well, if the case needs you guys to fly out, I’ll have a hot batch of brownies by the time you guys get back.” She said and then sat down near the TV.
——
He was fine. Except he wasn’t sure when “fine” started to feel like a placeholder for “a little off whenever she’s not okay.” He’s been observing her over the days they’ve been getting close. He knows for a fact, she was struggling with something, but he doesn’t know what. And Spencer’s mind does not rest until he knows everything.
He sat at his desk, flipped open a file, read the same sentence four times without processing a word. Something had shifted yesterday. He’d felt it. The way you sat at the cafe, silent and still but clearly unraveling. He knew how to recognize that silence—the one where a person disappears inward to avoid making a sound that might crack everything open. He knows that firsthand, he was the same after Maeve.
He hadn’t pushed. He wanted to, but he didn’t and that’s when it hit him. He wasn’t just worried. He cared. Deeply. He cared in the way that made his chest feel tight and unsteady. He care in the way that made him want to fix something he had no power over. And maybe it was foolish or sudden, but the thought of you hurting and carrying it along made something ancient and protective stir inside him.
Ding.
The sound along made him jump, which made a couple eyes around the bullpen stray to him. He picked up his phone. A message… from you.
Y/N: I could use a friend… whenever you’re not busy.
Spencer: I’m free tonight. The case is local. Same time, same place?
Y/N: yeah, sure. See you then.
Spencer let out a big sigh, one that was not unnoticed by the team. Morgan stared at Spencer as he ran his fingers through his hair and opened the same file he has reading for the past 10 minutes.
“Hey, give him space… You know him, he’ll come to.” Emily whispered to Morgan.
So, that night, instead of heading straight home, he walked through the city, hands in pockets, heart on edge, towards the cafe.
Spencer sat across from you, his glasses sliding slightly down the bridge of his nose as he read. You noticed his hair was a little messier today and his collar turned up. There was stillness to him you found calming—like you could come apart in front of him and he won’t flinch. You stirred your drink absently. Then you started talking.
“I saw him yesterday.” Spencer’s eyes lifted immediately. He closed his book without a word. “Martin, I mean. I saw him.” You swallowed.
He didn’t interrupt. He waited.
“I didn’t plan it. I wasn’t…ready. I was just at the grocery store, trying to remember if I needed eggs or milk or both, and then I heard him. His voice. And everything in me just…” you stopped as your hand curled tighter around your cup.
Spencer leaned in slightly. “What did you do?” He asked.
“I froze… like my body recognized the voice before my brain caught up. He was talking to her… Chiara. She was pregnant. Wearing a ring the size of my old apartment.”
“That must’ve been—“ He paused, then gently asked, “Are you okay talking about it?” I nodded.
“You know what’s the worst part? I didn’t feel angry. I felt… small. Stupid, even. Like, how did I miss it? How did I not see what he was doing behind my back?” I said as I stared out the window.
“That’s not stupidity. That’s trust, Y/N. And love. It’s easy to see the shape of a lie in hindsight, but when you’re in it…you’re not looking for deception. You’re hoping you’re safe.”
You blinked. Caught off guard by how gently he said it. “I loved him,” you whispered. “Not the version I saw at the grocery. The version who used to bring me honey lemon tea when I was sick. The one who knew I hate tomatoes on sandwiches, he would always scrape them off. Who knew my fears.”
Spencer nodded, “And that version is still real. Even if it didn’t last. You didn’t imagine it. He just stopped deserving it.” His words hit something soft on your chest. “How do you do that?” You said as you let out a breath.
“Do what?”
“Say exactly what I need to hear without making it sound like advice?”
“Occupational hazard, I guess. Profilers are trained to listen past what people say.” Spencer gave a small smile. You smiled back too, but it was sad around the edges. “It still hurts.”
“I know… but you’re healing in a way he’ll never get to see. And that’s not revenge. That’s grace.”
You looked at him, really looked. The book still closed, his fingers resting gently on the spine, his tea forgotten. “Thank you,” you said.
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do,” you said. “You make it easier to be honest.” Spencer looked down, a faint blush blooming across his cheekbones.
“You make me want to show up.”
And you believed him. In that moment, you weren’t thinking about Martin, or Chiara, or the hurt you carried. You were just here. In a quiet cafe, with someone who saw past your armor. And for the first time in a long time, being seen didn’t make you flinch.
#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer x yn#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x femreader#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#bau!reader#reader insert#x reader
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Chapter 2: The Quiet Part of You
Spencer Reid x reader
Summary: Small snippets of how you opened yourself up to love after years of heartbreak. Small snippets of how a Spencer Reid can enter your life little by little.
Warning: Slight angst (just a tiny bit, more on the reader's past)
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After the first encounter at the cafe, you got to talking with Spencer. You shared about the book you were reading, tiptoeing silently around the quotes that speak to you. Spencer, however, the profiler in him, noticed how you seem to pause in between words when sharing a quote. A quick pause, for others, they might not have noticed it, but he did. And although he tried to reason that it was his profiling skills, he couldn’t deny it was because he was too focused on your lips. But he’s keeping that to himself right now. He shared about one of the few books he’s reading right now.
“It’s Love in the Time of Cholera. I believe it’s a slow-burning romance that spans decades. It centers on how love can endure time, distance, and willingness.” Spencer said as he flipped to a page.
"He allowed himself to be swayed by his conviction that human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but that life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves."
“This line specifically reflects on how love can transform and rebirth. It posits a philosophical assertion that challenges the conventional understanding of identity as fixed or static from the moment of biological birth. Instead, it suggests that the self is subject to perpetual redefinition through lived experience. Essentially, the line is an affirmation that we are continuously becoming shaped by trauma, love, loss, and the inexorable passage of time…” He trailed off.
Filled with curiosity over this man who just explained a single quote from the book in more or less 4 sentences. You were intrigued. Intrigued how his eyes looks at the world, and how it would differ to your point of view. You exchanged numbers and names with Spencer. You knew it was dangerous to give your phone number to a random stranger, who you met in a cafe, but oddly enough, you seemed to trust this man.
A few weeks later…
It was one of those days again—when your smile felt like armor, and your silence felt safer than sharing. You were in the cafe again and drinking your coffee. Spencer sat next to you this time, another thick hardbound book in his hands. You’ve both made it a habit to meet at this cafe every other day, at exactly 5PM. An hour after you guys get off work, and just in time to watch the sunset from the windows. However, this time there was no book in front of you.
Spencer stopped flipping pages and reading lines from his book. He stared at you. He has been reading lines and sharing his thoughts and yet you have never responded to one. He wasn’t expecting you to, but this time he felt it. You were quiet. It was one of the things he liked when he spends time with you. But you were quieter than usual. A little distant. Edges tucked in.
“You’re doing it again. I can see you pulling back, just a little. I don’t think you’re angry, your facial expressions doesn’t match that. You’re here … but your mind isn’t, right?” He asked softly. Hoping he wasn’t prying, since he can unintentionally do that.
“I’m just tired…” You replied.
Today, it hit you the hardest. You thought you were over with Martin, your ex-boyfriend. You last saw him 5 months ago, when he decided to leave and never come back. Until now. You clocked out early from work today, courtesy of your workmate who decided to switch shifts with you, so you can cover her during the weekend. The grocery store was the first place you walked into after remembering that you were out of eggs and milk.
Push cart in hand, you were just entering the aisle for baking ingredients when you heard it. His voice. You tried to forget him as soon as he left, but you knew him…you knew his voice. You stared at him. The push cart beside him as he was deciding on what baking mix to buy.
“What about the red velvet cake mix. It would make perfect sense, we won’t have to buy food coloring anymore, babe.” A women appeared beside him. But what caught your eye was her left hand. A shiny big rock sat on her ring finger, left hand on her bulging belly. Baby products filled their carts. She was pregnant. Or more importantly, Chiara was pregnant, your friend back at college.
You didn’t stick around for confrontation. You left the grocery market immediately, running away from the truth. Martin left you and married Chiara, the woman who he got pregnant.
“Today just really pushed me to the edge… you know… it’s one of those days.” You told Spencer and gave him a smile. A tight lip one. Your version of “okay” smile you give to people to throw them off. But Spencer wasn’t most people, but he didn’t ask. He didn’t push and pry.
After years of working with the BAU team, he knew there were times when prying worked, but sometimes being present and quiet worked too. Instead, he diverted the topic. One you were grateful for. He shared about his encounters with one of the members of his team, Penelope and her newfound love for Sergio, who apparently she was babysitting for another team member overseas.
And when you got home that night, as you tucked yourself in bed, your phone dinged. A message from Spencer.
Spencer: My coworkers say I excel at speaking and oversharing, but I do have a knack for being a good listener. I’m always here to listen if you need one.
You didn’t respond. Spencer didn’t need a response back either. For him and you, it was the thought that counts. That someone out there was finally willing to listen to you.
#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer x yn#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x femreader#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#bau!reader#reader insert#x reader
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Every Version of You



Masterlist
Summary: Small snippets of how you opened yourself up to love after years of heartbreak. Small snippets of how a Spencer Reid can enter your life little by little.
Genre: Mostly fluff
Chapter List:
Chapter 1: How You Met -- The Slow Collision That Was Meant to Happen
Chapter 2: The Quiet Part of You
Chapter 3: The Beginning of Intention
Chapter 4: The Where of It
More chapters to be announced...
#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer x yn#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x femreader#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#bau!reader#reader insert#x reader
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Chapter 1: How You Met -- The Slow Collision That Was Meant to Happen
Spencer Reid x reader
Summary: Small Snippets of how you opened yourself up to love after years of heartbreak. Small snippets of how a Spencer Reid can enter your life little by little.
Masterlist l Next

It wasn't dramatic. No fireworks. No chaos. Just ... alignment.
The cafe wasn't particularly special. Wooden tables, warm lighting, and the soft murmur of people trying not to be noticed. You came here to unwind after a tiring, long week of work. You sat near the window, a novel open, pen paused between thoughts as you annotated the pages (or more like scribbling and doodling your thoughts). Outside, the day moved like honey. Slow, golden, a little tired.
In your little bubble, you became unaware of your surroundings. Ding. The cafe door opened, and then a tall man walked in. He caught your attention when he walked in. Not in a way that demanded the room -- in a way that fit. He wore a soft beige sweater, a purple scarf wrapped like he knew the weather before it changed. His eyes moved like someone who listened more than he spoke.
You shook your head and returned your attention to your novel.
Spencer has just returned after a tiring and exhausting case. It seemed the case took a little piece of peace he was slowly building. Not only that, he was also tormented by Morgan's unrelenting teasing about him needing to have a 'lady friend'.
"Come on, pretty boy. How long do we have to wait to see a pretty girl beside you one of these days?" He commented as the team was walking towards their offices after getting off the jet.
He didn't mean to, but when he looked at you, he remembered his conversation with Morgan. He got in line and ordered his drink quietly. He unconsciously (or decided) to take a seat at the table across from you, not too close. Respectful. Serene. But still ... present.
He took out his book, or more like a dictionary in your perspective. He started reading and flipping through the pages, unusually fast. It caught your attention again but brushed it off. Minutes passed like that. A dance without movement. You flipped a page. He sipped his drink. You took a bite from your donut. He's halfway through the chapter already.
"Uhm... excuse me. What are you reading and writing about?" he asked, gently. You raised your head towards him. No flirt. No pressure. Just curiosity. Somehow, your thoughts mattered more to him than your face.
You took a while to respond. He didn't rush you either.
"It's a novel about discovering self-worth. I'm not sure what I'm writing really. It hasn't made sense, but I know it will at the end," you replied.
He smiled -- one of those soft, real ones that settle into the corners of the mouth. "I like that. Not everything has to make sense at the beginning. Most of the books I've read only made sense in the middle or the end. Although it might be because I'm reading classic, old, literary works."
You gave him a smile back as you looked at him. Really looked. And all of a sudden, something in your chest exhaled -- like a breath you were holding for a long time.
Your friends and family said that when you meet your person, it would feel like butterflies in your stomach. Or like being struck by lightning, hair standing on your arm. But no. No. It wasn't anything like that. It was a door. Quietly opening.
And from that moment on ... as you locked eyes with Spencer. From that moment on ... he will never, ever let it close.
#criminal minds#spencer reid criminal minds#spencer x reader#spencer reid fluff#spencer x yn#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds fanfiction#spencer reid x femreader#criminal minds fandom#bau team#spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fic#bau!reader#reader insert#x reader
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