seriouslypeeved

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I had a… revelation

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Does this count as one of those AU’s people keep talking about?

Game of Hazbins?

A Song of Hazbins and Hotels?

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Lilith: You’re brutish, inelegant, unrefined. You can’t even perform without your backup.

Adam: And you’re slow and boring. Who’d even want to back you up?

Lilith: That noise you make barely qualifies as music.

Adam: Your music is like listening to a dying swan.

Lilith: A refined audience can appreciate my lyrics without all the yelling.

Adam: You get a standing ovation at the end, I get an ovation throughout the whole concert.

Lilith: At least I don’t need some screeching instrument to earn my praise.

Adam: Yeah well, you suck!

Lilith: No, you suck!

Adam: No, you suck!

Lilith: No, you suck!

They start blowing raspberries at each other

Charlie: Is this normal?

Lucifer: Nah.

Eve: Usually there’s more violence.

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Why Adam not having a close relationship with Abel kinda makes sense and the child he's closest to.

Long post, discussion of leaks

So, a while ago, it was confirmed that Abel will be making an appearance in the show. The leaks have Lute saying that Adam did not like Abel. This may or may not be true depending on how well Lute actually knew Adam and her mental state is not exactly stable. However, while this probably won't be used for anything other than Adam is mean, he didn't even like his kids, there is actually some interesting discussion to be had from a biblical perspective.

Adam and Eve's five most popular children:

Most people know about Cain, Abel, and even Seth, but lesser known are their sisters, Aclima and Azura. This is probably because they aren't even named in the Bible. Aclima and Azura are Cain and Abel's twin sisters.

This brings us to the interesting timeline presented in the Bible, it is implied that Cain, Aclima, Abel, and Azura were born pretty early after their parents were banished from the Garden. This left a family of six for quite some time as there were no more children born for a long while after the second set of twins. Cain and Abel are generally seen as being adults when the first murder happens, probably being 30 on the high end and 15 or so on the low end. The were relatively young by modern human standards, but they were practically infants by ancient biblical human standards.

When Cain murders Abel, he is marked and forced to wander the Earth. He leaves and importantly, Aclima leaves with him as they are said to go on and have a son named Enoch. (Yes, it's the Bible)

This means in just a single day the family has gone from 6 to 3, a rather traumatizing event. Adam and Eve then have a period of around a century where they don't have another child. During this time the likely winner of Adam's favorite child sticks around as the tragic only child. Azura stays with her parents during this century of mourning, until, when Adam and Eve are 130, they have Seth, their third most popular child.

Azura ends up being Seth's wife (yes) and Adam and Eve end up having many sons and daughters who go unnamed.

800 years later, the first parents finally kick the bucket.

In Hazbin, this would leave Adam's reunion with Abel to have occurred 900 years after Abel's death. It's not particularly surprising that Adam would have a distant relationship with his son, especially as both are likely quite traumatized, and Heaven wouldn't have any real experts on that considering they are some of the only people in all of creation to have experienced hardship at that point.

And that is why Azura is definitely Adam's favorite kid.

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So, TIL that it is somewhat common to take a song, remove the lyrics, and put a psalm (basically a Bible verse meant to be sung) over the music. Sometimes, people will sneak in the music for a song that might not be appropriate for church service cause priests tend to be older and not necessarily caught up on contemporary music.

My professor gave examples of this happening with songs from bands like Metallica, Iron Maiden, etc. I am convinced that this is something Adam would absolutely do.

I imagine he wants to play at an event, and he has to go to Sera for approval. She's skeptical cause she knows what he likes to play, but when she looks over the song, it's all Heaven appropriate and she's like wow, this is so thoughtful Adam. The event comes and its Adam's time to play, so he walks up, summons his guitar, and starts blasting the melody for Welcome to The Jungle while singing about faith, hope, and love.

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This is basically how I imagine Adam’s family dynamic.

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Leaked Character Designs?!?!

This is a joke :)

Characters from The Binding of Issac

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Ok but

Adam and Eve singing Would You Fall in Love with Me Again

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Adam: Where is Eve?

Sera: She's in Hell.

Adam: No! That's not fair!

Sera: She failed to pass Divine Judgement and this is her punishment.

Adam: But why! She didn't do anything wrong!

Sera: She sinned, Adam.

Adam: It wasn't her fault, she was tricked! Sera please, we did everything you asked!

Sera: It wasn't my decision to make.

Adam: She has to be forgiven eventually, right?

Sera: I'm sorry Adam, but Hell is forever.

-------------------------

Adam: Whether I like it or not.