setlockfreebatch - Tumblr blog

setlockfreebatch · 5 years ago

Text

Barisi Deserved Better ! - Over You

Hey y’all, I haven’t wrote fanfiction since 2014 One direction era lmaoo but here’s the Barisi goodbye we all needed.

- - - - -

Carisi was sitting at his desk, head in his hands. It was a slower day at the precinct, something he always remembered to not take for granted. A slow day meant that, hopefully, less people were hurt. For Sonny, though, a slow day meant he had time to think, and that hadn’t been the case since he left.

It’s been only a week since Barba left the office, and for the time being, different ADA’s have been rotating throughout SVU. The absence of Raphael hit Carisi harder than it should have. He kept quiet through it all, when all he wanted to do was ask him why?

He lifted his head to a chuckle coming across his desk, meeting Fin’s eyes. Carisi wasn’t sure if the Sargent was the right person to talk to in this situation, but Amanda was off today, either looking after Jessie or texting the man from the bar that they met a few months ago. Sonny wasn’t bitter. Not at all. Rollins deserved someone.

Totally not bitter.

“What’s on your mind, detective?” Fin asked, snapping Sonny out of his thoughts. He rolled his eyes, getting up to sit beside the older man. He slumped down in a chair, running a hand through his own messy hair absentmindedly.

“Who says anything is on my mind?” Sonny snapped, even though a lopsided smile emerged from his lips.

“You’ve been sulking around all week, Carisi. You stay in the office past Liv and I. You haven’t even talked to Rollins. What happened to your annoyingly chipper self, man?”

This caused Sonny to chuckle lightly, a sigh escaping soon after.

“There hasn’t been much to be chipper about, Sargent. Rollins is always occupied with that new guy she always has around - I haven’t been able to see Jessie!”

“Jealous, Carisi?” Fin laughed at Sonny, who rolled his eyes.

“No, not like that, at least I don’t think so. She deserves to be happy, I just didn’t think it’s be this lonely around here”

Fin nodded understandingly. He’s seen this before, when two partners start to live their own lives. It happened with Olivia and Elliot years before. Hell, it even happened to him and Munch, even though he’d never admit it. Your partner becomes your best friend, someone you would take a bullet for. He was about to ask if Carisi felt anything more than friendship for Rollins, because he suspected something like that happened with Liv and Stabler but was cut off by him first.

“And with Barba leaving and all, it’s just been different around here. The man didn’t even have the balls to say goodbye to the rest of us. We had to hear from the Lieutenant. I had to hear from Benson. You would think that he would tell the guy who’s looked up to him for fucking years! Why would he just tell Benson?” Carisi’s voice raised slightly, anger seeping through.

Fin’s eyes widened. This may have just gotten really weird.

“Look man, you know Liv is like, a lot older than you, right? She has Noah to look after and a full time job. If you have any type of feelings for the Lieutena-”

Fin was cut off by a loud howl from Carisi. He almost doubled over in laughter, a confused look settling on the Sargent.

“You really thought.. Oh god no Fin! It’s… It’s not Liv that I…” Sonny’s mouth was dry and his eyes were tinged with wetness.

Oh.

Fin definitely read the situation wrong.

“Barba?” He asked gently, not wanting to push the younger man. He was met with a slight nod and apologetic eyes. Fuck, he thought, this man is full of surprises.

“Should’ve caught on with all the snide comments and you following him like a lost puppy.” Carisi laughed again, this time more genuinely.

“Was it that obvious? Well, it doesn’t matter now, I guess. He didn’t even want to say goodbye.”

Fin, no matter how much he didn’t want to admit it, couldn’t stand to see the young detective look this defeated. He had to make sure Sonny took his chance, otherwise he’d regret it.

“Listen, Carisi. Barba really did like having you around, even if he always seemed a bit standoffish. You gave him a bit more youthfulness, helped him open up. Even if it’s just as a friend, you deserve some sort of closure with him. What do you have to lose?”

Sonny’s eyes met Fin’s, and he could see the sincerity in him. He nodded, standing up.

“You okay for covering?” He asked.

“It’s Wednesday, we’re usually good around here. Go.” Fin said, glad that Carisi was doing this.

“Thank you, Fin. I owe you one” Sonny said, heading towards the elevator, jacket in hand.

Fin watch Sonny’s stature fill with determination and smiled as the elevator closed.

“Anytime, Staten Island. Go get ‘em”

- - - - - - - - - - -

Sonny still had Barba’s address engrained in his memory from the time he went over there the night before the Bar. The older man quizzed him for hours, and he wished that he could’ve spent the night, until he got a call from his sister and left. That night, Sonny felt that he was studying with a friend rather than a boss, with Raphael cracking jokes and encouraging him.

Sonny may never get that feeling again, but he had to know. He had to know why.

The elevator ride to Barba’s apartment seemed longer than last time, but that could have been due to the anxiety building up inside of Sonny. He walked up to his door, taking a deep breath before knocking.

The sight before his eyes as the door opened took Sonny’s breath away.

Barba opened the door in dark washed jeans and a black t-shirt, his hair slightly disheveled. The look on his eyes was confused, but with hints of delight. Barba hadn’t seen Sonny since the trial, purely because he didn’t know how to face him. He knew that he should’ve said something to him, he really did, but he couldn’t find the words to. He looked up at Sonny, stiff and breathless. His voice was fragile, anger laced throughout.

“Listen, Counselor, I know I have no right to come storming to your apartment to demand an explanation, but I sure as hell think I deserve one. Look, I admire you, okay? Not just as a lawyer, or an ADA, or even a cop. I admire you as a person, how you always maintain your own morals though even the toughest cases. How you find the best in everyone. How you found time in your life to let me shadow you a few years back. I loved spending time with you, Barba. Fuck, you taught me so much. Not just with the law, but in life.” Sonny’s tears started to drip down his face, not even noticing. This was his chance to let it all out, and he wasn’t holding back. Raphael’s eyes widened, taking in how hurt Carisi looked. Did he do that to him?

“You taught me how to speak my mind, and listen to my heart. Raphael, you did that. I don’t know how, but you did. And then you leave, and don’t tell me? I get it, I’m just some young, confused detective you work with, but I thought I may have meant more than that to you. You meant more to me than just my mentor. You meant more to me than just a friend. I guess you didn’t feel the same, but I just wanted to know, Raphael, why?” His tears were flowing freely now, looking down at Barba, mouth slightly open in awe. Barba reached up, slowly, to wipe the tears from Carisi’s face with his thumb, his hand lingering there for longer than it needed to be.

Sonny shivered at the close contact, his eyes softening. He looked at Raphael, seeing regret on his face. The older mans hand rested on Carisi’s cheek, holding him gently.

“You want to know why, Sonny? It’s because I was too damn scared that I would show up at your door, crying and pouring out my feeling for you.” Sonny let out a small gasp that made Barba chuckle.

“I was a coward, Sonny, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. You mean so much to me, and I didn’t want to taint the friendship we had.” Sonny scoffed at that, a smile escaping.

“I think we’re past the point of friendship now, Barba.” He said, taking a step closer to the former ADA.

“Indeed we are, detective, and I’m sorry for not crossing that line earlier. Forgive me?” On a whim, Barba leaned in to meet Carisi’s lips for a few moments, sweet and naive. They both pulled away with a smile, Sonny’s forehead pressed up against Raphael’s.

“Always. Just, never said goodbye to me, okay? I thought I would have to get over you”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Thanks for reading! Should I continue to write?

26 notes · View notes

setlockfreebatch · 5 years ago

Text

Barisi fanfic #3

au- Sonny Carisi is studying law at NYU and working as a barista to afford college. Rafael Barba graduated from there last year and has started his internship at the NYPD

(coffee shop, flirting, bar, date, drunken chats)

Word count - 1803

Friday

It was Friday evening turning into night when he first saw him. Sonny was clearing tables, wiping coffee stains out of the wooden surfaces was the bane of his job, he caught his breath from the frantic scrubbing and glanced at the windows to see an orange glow on the street. The shop usually shuts just after sunset at this time of year so Sonny had been left alone to lock up. The door swinging open startled him,

“Sorry, we’re closed” he shouted, still eyeing up the spilt coffee in frustration.

The door swung shut and footsteps continued further into the shop. Sonny shoved his cleaning rag onto the table and turned to face the impatient customer,

“I said we are clo-“.

The smartly dressed man continued to stroll towards the counter with an air of confidence and ease, then put his brief case on top of a freshly cleaned table.

“A caramel latte to go please” he commanded.

“okay” Sonny made his way towards the espresso machine, dazed and confused at why he agreed

“ooo and do you have any of those muffins? The ones with the chocolate” he exclaimed, dropping his serious demeanour and sounding like an excited child.

“Sure” sonny bagged up a muffin and took his credit card.

“Thank you.. Dom”

“Ah no, I’m Sonny. Company policy why my name tag has to say Dom”

“So your real name is Dom?” the stranger teased.

Sonny blushed, avoiding eye contact as the handsome stranger watched him.

“See you around, Sonny”

The door swung open and closed once more, Sonny dropped his head into his hands .

“You fucking idiot sonny” he muttered to himself.

Saturday

Sonny barged through the café door looking down at his watch, realising how late he was. Along side trying to get coffee stains out of the dam tables, the Saturday morning rush was another perk of his job.

‘I am going to make customer service on weekends illegal once I pass law school’ he thought, swinging a battered grey apron over his head whilst wiping the leftover pizza grease from his lips. Leftover pizza for breakfast was pretty normal for him when he was in a rush, which was all of the time.

He had only just taken his position at the counter when a familiar stranger joined the end of the queue, this time with no phone in his hand and his full attention on Sonny. He stood there watching him whisk around the machines, pouring espresso and milk into a row of identical mugs. Sonny had noticed the second he had entered the shop, blushing and squirming of embarrassment on the inside whilst trying to focus on the orders, part of him being a bit of a show off and trying to do six drinks, a panini and a plate of toast at the same time.

The stranger got closer to the counter with each customer served, until sonny turned around on his heels too quickly, knocking his arm and dropping the tray filled with hot drinks.

“FUUCCKK” Sonny spat between his clenched teeth, the scalding coffee stung his skin. The stranger, now at the front of the queue, grabbed the closest rag and ran around to Sonny as he muttered more curse words in pain.

“It’s okay, I’ve got you” the stranger cleaned the coffee from Sonny’s hand and dragged him to the sink, running cold water over his burn.

“Did it spill anywhere else or just your hand?” he asked, his smile now replaced with a look of concern and worry.

“No, no. I’m good. Thank you, though” Sonny breathed, making eye contact for the first time.

“Good” the stranger smiled, “I’m Barba by the way, my real name is Rafael”

“Nice to meet you, Rafael” Sonny extended his good hand and Rafael shook it. ‘For fucksake. A handshake? I want to fuck you, let me shake your hand’ his brain taunted him as he tried to hold it together.

“I think a burn in the workplace qualifies you for a break, right? Let me buy you a cookie whilst you rest your hand” Rafael asked, but in an ordering tone.

“Why a cookie?” sonny smirked, moving his hand out of the water.

“Hand back under the water! It needs longer than that!” he bossed, “ and yes a cookie, because it is high in sugar and we don’t want you passing out… and they are buy one get one free, and I want a cookie.”

He picked up the silver tongs from their holder and hovered over the cookies before picking two triple chocolate ones, placing them onto a plate and pressing a few buttons on the till before swiping his card through the machine.

“Hey! That’s my job” Sonny joked, “but how did you know the product code and how the till works?”

“I worked here two years ago whilst I was at NYU, which I guess is where you are studying?” he said, inspecting Sonny’s hand, then carrying the plate of cookies to an empty table.

Sonny dried his hand off and took the seat opposite Rafael,

“Yeah, I am studying law, two semesters off graduating. How about you?”

“Graduated from law last year, currently interning at NYPD”

“Wow, that is exactly where I want to be next year!” Sonny gushed, “I want to be on the right side of justice, I could never defend someone who is guilty”

“How could you tell if they were guilty?” Rafael raised an eyebrow jokingly, taking a big bite out of his cookie.

“Oh I would know. I’d get them to look me in the eyes like this” Sonny leaned across the table, resting his head in his hands and staring directly into Rafael’s eyes, “and I would say did you do it?”

Rafael laughed and they sat in silence for a moment, Sonny gazing deeper into his eyes, the emotion and untold stories behind them begging to reach him, swirling behind brown irises and deep pupils. The awkwardness and embarrassment inside him melted away, he could easily sit there for days admiring every different speck of colour in those eyes. Rafael returned the gaze until he broke the silence,

“Would you like to get a drink tomorrow? If you are finished single-handedly serving justice with your lie detector powers, that is?” he asked.

“Sure” Sonny sat upright, “I better go get back to work”

“There is a bar on West 3rd street, see you there at 8?”

“Great” he smiled.

Rafael picked up his belongings and made his way to the door, turning to look at Sonny one last time before he left.

Sunday

Sonny had felt like a teenage girl in a rom com whilst getting ready, he stood staring at his reflection in the mirror, clothes on the floor surrounding him. He finally settled on a black pair of skinny jeans, a plain white shirt and a navy blazer jacket and was out the door, walking towards the bar.

He arrived and was waiting outside for Rafael for what felt like forever. Until it started raining, he gave up and walked into the bar alone. He walked up to the bartender and ordered a drink, ‘may as well since I’m here’ he thought.

“Hey Sonny! Over here!” A voice shouted from behind him.

He turned around and saw Rafael sat at a table for two, waving.

“I will bring your drink over sir” the bartender nodded towards the table.

“Thanks” Sonny smiled, he made his way across the room to Rafael and took the seat opposite him.

“Why are you wet Sonny?” Rafael laughed

“Uh.. got caught in the rain. Anyway, I am sorry I’m late, what are you drinking?”

“Don’t worry about it, I ordered my drink to be brought over when a gorgeous man joins me. Oh and I told them to put your drink on my tab.”

“Your tab, huh? You come here often?” Sonny teased

“So we are just going to brush over the fact that I called you gorgeous” the corners of his lips curled upwards.

“Oh, I know. And I happen to agree with you” he replied in a serious, professional tone, trying to hold back his laughter.

The bartender interrupted them, placing a glass of scotch and a cocktail onto the table, “Enjoy”.

Rafael picked up his neat scotch, swirling the dark liquid around the glass, and stared at the pink cocktail in front of his date. Sonny blushed and awkwardly took a sip,

“Sorry I don’t usually drink these in front of other people” Sonny said as he tried to shrug off his embarrassment, “it’s my guilty pleasure drink”

“Looks tasty” Rafael took the drink out of Sonny’s hand and took his own sip, “Cosmopolitan isn’t it?”

“uh, yeah” Sonny smiled

“What professors do you have?”

Hours later Sonny threw his head back in laughter, almost knocking over the four empty cocktail glasses next to him, and Rafael giggled as he took the final sip of his gin.

“Sorry guys, closing time!” the bartender shouted over, picking up glasses from the empty tables.

“Roger that, Mr Bartender” Sonny shouted, saluting the bartender “Lets go raffy”

Rafael ran to Sonny’s side as he stood up and almost collapsed, wedging himself under Sonny’s armpit he helped him to the door.

“You are so kind raffy. And sensitive! Raarr-faaii-ell. Rafiel. Rafel barbababa” Sonny spluttered between giggles.

“I think we better get you home”

“Wait no! I can’t go home!” his mouth hung open in shock, “My roommate has his girlfriend over, he kicked me out for the night!”

“You can sleep at mine if you want?”

“That would be great thank you” Sonny dribbled, “can we get pizza”

“I think you need it” Raf laughed, staggering behind Sonny to hold him up.

Ten minutes later Rafael had set Sonny up on his sofa with a blanket and Brooklyn nine-nine on Netflix,

“Could I get a large with extra cheese, sausage, mushroom and peppers please” he asked down the phone.

“Don’t forget the olives!” sonny shouted from the sofa.

Rafael got comfy on the sofa and turned the volume up on the tv remote.

“What episode is this sonny?” he asked.

“Halloween one” Sonny whispered, invested in the program.

“oo that’s a good one” he returned the whisper.

Sonny wriggled around for a moment, tugging at the blanket so he was wrapped up tight and warm, then he dropped the side of his head to rest on Raf’s shoulder.

The credits rolled as the theme tune to the show blared out,

“Rafael?” Sonny said from his shoulder

“Yes, Sonny” he replied

“Can you make sure to put the leftover pizza in the fridge. Pizza tastes best for breakfast” he yawned.

“Sure I can.” Rafael tilted his head to rest on top of Sonny’s.

36 notes · View notes