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seungmoonandstars · 3 days

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𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader → Kim Seungmin/Hwang Hyunjin

wc: 3.9k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 3

pt 1 // pt 2

rating: angst/fluff/explicit ಇ ꩜

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

This is not the first time getting into bed with Seungmin before sunset—to sleep, at least. You changed the bedding while he showered, and now he’s wrapped up in the top sheet, shorts on, but chest bare and out for you to see. You turned the air up, and the room is much cooler than it should be, so you can see the little goosebumps pricking up all over his arms...making his hair stand on edge.

“Do you want another blanket?”

He nods slowly, sleepily, and you crawl to the end of the bed and pull one out of the chest. The burn of his eyes on you makes you shiver a little, and you hope the entire time that he’ll get up and reach for you. But he doesn’t. He’s comfortable on his pillow when you return and pull it up to his shoulders. Youou were right about his eyes being on you.

“Thank you.” He whispers it and pouts, and you remember now that you haven’t kissed him on the lips at all.

Not once since he returned last night. You don’t even know if you should, or if you can. What if you do, and he doesn’t want it? Nothing about your conversation today has made kissing him seem out of the question, but still, it’s hard. The chest kiss was you on auto-pilot, and thinking back to it makes your stomach swirl.

“Minnie?”

You are still sharing the same bed, after all. How much could he hate your kiss?

Colors pop up in his vision as he squeezes his eyes, and then he opens them to you. The look you give him isn’t the warm one you usually have one, but it’s not cold. It’s somewhere in the middle; it’s unsure and sad, and he’s given it to you so many times in the past. Seungmin pulls the blanket up even further, and folds his arms around it before speaking…“Lay down, get some sleep”

You do, and you’re relieved that he stays put when you scoot a little closer.

“Seungmin?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?”

“Uhm…nothing, nothing. Goodnight, love.”

He’s silent. He closes his eyes, and he’s asleep.

· · ♡ · ·

You can almost hear him before you open your eyes. His stare is so intense, and you feel whatever thoughts he has radiating out of him.

“Seungmin? You okay?”

He looks away for a moment, and then back, and he swallows hard before he starts to speak. “You said you didn’t sleep with him…you said that last night.”

The memory of last night makes your head ache; Seungmin’s tone, his face, as he grabbed you so softly, even though you don’t think he wanted to be so gentle. The look in his eyes when he thought about you fucking someone other than him. Lying to him is not an option, but last night was…intense, and a little bit scary. You don’t immediatly answer his non question; instead you sit up and push the covers away from you, because you suddenly feel very warm. You feel like you might throw up.

“Was that the truth?”

Seungmin has been avoiding straight answers all day, answering your questions with his own. Pulling that on him this time won’t work. Too much silence won’t work either, because you can sense his patience dwindling with each quiet moment that passes.

“Once”

That single word is the most difficult one you’ve ever had to say to him, and it doesn’t even come out right. It gets caught in your throat, along with any hope of a deep breath. But Seungmin says nothing, and he doesn’t move, and it scares you even more. You don’t even have the courage to look at him.

“Once.” He repeats it, but he’s not questioning you.

“I was scared last night. I didn’t know what to do, or say in the moment. I don’t want to lie…again.” You stop and wait, and you still don’t look at him, but he says nothing. You can’t even hear him breathing. “Say something…scream at me, I don’t care. Please say something.”

The bed shifts as he gets out from under the covers, walks to the dresser to throw on a clean shirt and sweatpants. You watch him from the corner of your eye, trying to figure out what he’s feeling, and what he’s thinking, but he gives you nothing.

“Are you leaving?”

No answer. He closes the door gently behind him, and you struggle with the urge to run for him. What’s the point? You can’t keep delaying the inevitable, because it’s getting harder and harder with each new word you speak to him. If he’s going to go, he needs to go now. But there’s no sound of him opening and closing the front door

He’s sitting in the dark at the coffee table, head in his arms, phone a few inches from his face. The glow of the screen is the only light you can see, so you click on one of the kitchen lights. Maybe he came out here to get away from you. If that’s the case, you respect his space, and you head to the kitchen to make him something to eat.

Eventually, he looks up, and eventually, you catch him staring as you walk from one end of the kitchen to the other. He doesn’t look angry, and he doesn’t look upset—the empty look on his face is worse.

“Are you hungry?”

He snaps out of it and lifts his head to nod. Seungmin is usually hungry, and he’s always a good eater, so cooking for him, and doting on him became your way of showing affection after the first few months together. It still is, and he knows that’s why you’re in there right now. Sometimes it feels like it replaces everything else, but it's been that way for a while. Seungmin hasn’t been as affectionate as you might need, especially lately, but you never complain. He wishes you would have complained. Even more, he wishes he wouldn't have been so oblivious to everything.

You don’t notice him getting to his feet and walking toward you—not until he’s right next to you, and even then, you stare pointedly at the broth simmering until a soft hey reaches your ears.

“Hi, it’s almost ready”

“I’m sorry”

“You’re sorry…what are you sorry for?”

“I was reading your email again. I read it a few times.”

You jump when he reaches for and touches your cheek.

“You didn’t do—“

He kisses you. Seungmin pulls you closer and places a kiss on your temple.

“You didn’t do anything wrong”

And then he does it again. “I didn’t help. When I come home, I don’t treat you the way that you deserve. I fall asleep and I wake up and I leave again.”

“I’m not gonna pretend you hold any of the blame for this, so stop it”

“Why can’t we both be guilty?”

“Because you didn’t go behind my back and sleep with someone else. You didn’t cheat on me, Seungmin. Physically…emotionally. I did it, and it’s there forever.”

“But do you want to go back and change things?”

“It had barely even happened yet and I wanted to run away. I wanted to run home and call you, tell you everything, beg for your forgiveness. But I didn’t.”

“When was it?”

“A month ago, maybe a little more. I did call you the next morning, because I slept through all your messages. You must have been working, though.”

“You were with him yesterday, before I got here”

“No, I was home all day. I don’t know why he messaged me when he did. I haven’t seen him in weeks, and I only saw him once after, because I told him I was done. I think he messaged the wrong person.”

Seungmin stares at the simmering broth as he thinks, then turns off the burner.

“I can show you the messages when I turn the new phone on. I will. You can read everything.”

“So…bad timing”

“Maybe good timing, if it got us here. I hate not telling you everything that’s going on in my head.”

“Should I be doing that more often?”

You grab his shirt and pull him close again, “yes, all the time,” and bring him back down for a kiss, finally, on his lips. But it’s light, and it’s hesitant, for both of you. It feels like it’s been months, and you don’t know how you could stand to kiss anyone else.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin wakes early the next morning. He looks at you, still sound asleep, curled up tight under the blankets, and the familiar ache in his stomach returns—the one he gets every time he has to leave you. The one he’s never actually told you about. But he’s going to get up quietly, and he’s going to pack up his things and leave without making a sound. He’ll text you later, after he leaves you waiting for a few hours, but right now he needs out of here.

The only problem with the dorm is he still won’t be alone. He deals with it, though. Jeongin forces him out to lunch, but he’s unsuccessful at figuring out what specifically is eating away at Seungmin. He has to know it has something to do with you, though, because otherwise, he wouldn't be here. Even after a few early drinks and video games, nothing comes out. He tries his best to seem okay, and the distraction of the dorm helps more than he thought it would.

By the time 8pm rolls around…then 9, then midnight, he’s surprised you haven’t sent him a single message. He worries, because that’s what he does, and then he starts to type out a text.

I think being away for a while will be good for us

The two of you are always apart, though. Why would he say that? Seungmin backspaces and starts again.

If you’re still awake, goodnight, if you’re sleeping…good morning

It’s a little more blunt than he intends, but he sends it anyway, and the read notification appears as soon as it’s delivered. Seungmin waits a few moments for you to start typing…but you don’t.

“You heading to bed?”

He turns and sees Felix peeking around the corner, a little apprehensive. Seungmin hasn’t done well at masking his sadness since he’s been here.

“Yeah, I think so”

And as soon as Felix disappears again, he goes to the kitchen and grabs two bottles of soju, and the last bottle of beer. Still, as he drinks and writes in his journal, he waits for a reply. He could just text you again, and part of him actually wants to, but he’ll force himself to wait until morning, at least.

But a few minutes later, a text does come through. It’s not from you, and it’s not from any of his dorm mates—it’s Hyunjin.

“Seungminnie!! Are you sleeping yet? I miss you! I haven’t seen you since we got back”

Hyunjin doesn’t know about Seungmin’s troubles, but if he did, he’d be very concerned. Maybe he is the one to go to; to talk to, confide in, get some advice. Any of his hyungs would be willing to help, but Hyunjin probably owes Seungmin a few hours worth of listening anyway. And he’s always a comfort.

“I’m still up… a little drunk”

“Come over!”

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin is a little surprised at himself, getting up and getting back into sweatpants to walk down the long hallway. Hyunjin begged when he initially said no, though, and Seungmin is too nice to just ignore him.

Everyone else must be asleep, because Hyunjin answers after a few soft knocks. First he peeks, just to be sure it’s Seungmin, and then he smiles as he slowly opens the door.

“We have beer, if you’re not still too drunk!” He pulls him in and walks to the kitchen, “oh, that is Chan's…we won’t touch that,” he points to an apple soju tucked away in the back.

“Okay, maybe just one beer”

“You seem tired. Well, drunk I guess. You’ve been quiet, how are things with your girl? I haven’t seen her in some time.”

Because you rarely get out to see any of them. You do go out with friends on occasion, at least that he knows of, but generally, you stay hidden away. The thought makes Seungmin pout, and again he fights the urge to text you.

“What’s that face for? Is something going on…are you two having trouble?”

Seungmin shrugs.

“How can you have trouble when you’re hardly together?”

“That’s the trouble”

Hyunjin ooohs and brings his hands down on Seungmin’s shoulders. And he squeezes. “Yes, it’s hard to maintain and keep balance when you can rarely see each other. Texts and phone calls only do so much.”

“She cheated on me”

His hands drop and his eyes grow, “cheated? Oh Seungie, I’m sorry. You guys broke up?”

“Uh, not officially”

“But you’re going to, I assume. That seems unforgivable.”

It is. It should be. You said yourself that you don’t deserve his forgiveness; that you don’t deserve him. Seungmin doesn’t see it that way, though. At least not completely.

“I feel guilty, too. I haven’t been there for her recently, not in any way.”

Hyunjin reaches again, this time grabbing Seungmin biceps and squeezing, “you do your best, I know you do. Relationships are hard, especially for us. But you’re hurting, and I don’t like that. If she did it once, she—“

“I know, I know”

He can’t imagine you doing it again, though. It could be the email, and the letter. Maybe it’s just how defeated you’ve been, and how willing you are to tell him everything—he never asked to see the messages the two of you shared, but he can read them if he wants, apparently. He doesn’t think he wants to do that, though, because he’s afraid it will just make things hurt even more.

“You deserve better than that, Min.” Hyunjin turns and heads toward his bedroom, and Seungmin follows. “You deserve to be taken care of.”

“She does take care of me, and I know she loves me”

“Seungmin…”

“Yeah?”

“Sit, let me help”

His voice is soft, but a little demanding, and Seungmin listens without protest.

“I don’t want you to forgive so easily and get hurt again”

“I’ll be okay. And I haven’t figured it out yet, anyway. I’m giving it some time.”

“Can I ask a silly question, Minnie?” Hyunjins sits and sets his hand on Seungmin’s shoulder. He squeezes, pushes his thumbs into the tight muscles.

Seungmin groans and takes a long drink of his beer, making sure he doesn’t sober up too much yet. He should’ve grabbed two. “Yeah, you can.”

“Have you…well, I know you haven’t cheated, but have you thought about it? I mean…thought about anyone else in that way? Romantically, sexually.”

If Hyunjin is trying to make it easier for him to break things off with you, that wasn’t the best question to ask. Now he thinks back to a few times he did have more than romantic thoughts about someone other than you. Men and women both. He has never acted on any of them, but he did get hard from his fantasies on several occasions, and he came spectacularly without your face in his mind. One of those times, it was the man almost sitting in his lap right now.

Seungmin feels for his phone in his pocket and pulls it out, but Hyunjin grabs for it, sets it aside, “down,” and he gently coaxes him onto stomach.

“Jin-“

“Hush, Minnie…you’re always around to help me when I need it. You always listen, you’re always so patient.”

“I try”

“I owe you”

“Do you? You’re listening to me right now…”

“Please, just a few minutes. I bet you haven’t done this in a while.”

It’s true. It feels like he hasn’t properly relaxed in a very long time, and he certainly hasn’t had time to get a massage, to sit in the sauna and clear his mind. Work has been constant, and when he isn’t working, he’s trying to sleep, he’s practicing, writing…wondering how you are. Seungmin tenses at the first real touch against his back muscles, then eases up, and sighs. “Careful, I’m ticklish”

“Oh, I know”

His hands move down slowly...roughly. He doesn’t hold back when he feels a knot on one side. Seungmin doesn’t mind the pain, only hisses and breathes through it.

“I wish I could figure this out. I know what I want to do, but at the same time I’m worried I’m going about this all wrong.”

“You’re a smart boy, you’ll probably figure things out just talking about it. This is what you need.” Hyunjin’s touch softens, and he traces back up Seungmin’s spine with his fingers, over his neck and into his hair.

Seungmin sighs again, and the sound that escapes him is a little embarrassing.

“You didn’t answer my question yet”

Hyunjin lightens up when Seungmin starts to turn onto his back, but he lets a hand run across him as he shifts down—lets his finger graze over what little bit of ass he can get to through his sweatpants. Seungmin stares awkwardly for a moment—knees up, legs open—but Hyunjin looks at him like he’s been missing him and waiting for him for weeks. Months. He’s looking at him the way you look at him.

“In my mind, yeah, I guess I’ve cheated. I’ve thought about other people, and…gotten off to them, and the fantasies.”

“Gotten off?” He smirks and licks his lips, “who do you think about, Seungmin?”

His face warms, and probably turns pink. Luckily it’s a little dark in the room. There is no way he’s going to admit to Hyunjin that he once came very, very hard watching a video of the two of them together. But the way he’s being looked at right now—studied, undressed, maybe—it’s overwhelming, thinking of you, and thinking of him. Seungmin doesn’t know whether to get up and stop this, or lean in and move things along. He shakes his head and tries not to pull back when Hyunjin grabs his hand. He doesn’t want to pull back. He keeps still and lets him touch, and massage.

Then he raises Seungmin’s knuckles to his lips, “you can stop me,” kisses across his palm and down his wrist. But he isn’t stopped, even when he pulls closer, and lips meet lips. It’s calm and it’s anxious all at once, just figuring out exactly how the other moves, and it doesn’t take long get the hang of it. They disconnect and Seungmin falls backward, and he feels wet lips press hard against his bare stomach. He decides he’s not going to stop him, but his heart is pounding, and the guilt rises up in him again when he looks down and sees a mess of dark hair spread across his torso. But he won’t stop him.

“Hyunjin?” Seungmin sighs and runs a hand across his shoulder. His cock is throbbing and pulling all the blood from his brain, and he can feel nothing but want right now. “Hyunjin.”

“Hmm…what is it, Min?” He slows down, “should I stop?”

“No, no don’t stop”

He watches as his sweats are pulled down, painfully slow, and just before Seungmin is finally free, Hyunjin peeks up at him and presses a finger to his lips.

He nods in understanding. Of course he’ll be silent, because being found together like this would make things much worse than just awkward. But as soon as the warmth of his mouth hits, Seungmin forgets everything bad that could happen, and everything bad that has happened. He sinks into the bed and feels his body melt away. And he’s drunk; he’s definitely still drunk, and he can’t believe how hard he is, considering the amount he’s had tonight. But his mind wanders—the up and down of Hyunjins mouth, the squeeze of hands on thighs and hips, it’s perfect and he’d be fine with this lasting for hours, but his mind still bounces back and forth between this, and you—your face, your voice, your mouth. And then it’s Hyunjin again, making you feel so good after so much sadness.

“Is it good, Minnie?”

Seungmin moans, and it’s so much louder than he intends, but Hyunjin only giggles as his tongue slides up and over his cock, and he’s swallowed again. Hips buck up, needing more, and Hyunjin takes every inch. Seungmin is still surprised by how hungry Hyunjin has been for this. He knows exactly what he’s doing, because he’s been waiting, and wanting.

“So good…please, I need to come”

“Mm not yet, no”

“Please”

“I need you a little bit longer”

The bed shakes a little as Hyunjin relaxes on his stomach, and Seungmin doesn’t have to look to see what’s going on—he can feel the steady strokes, and the slow, lazy kisses moving up his length, and then back down. The licks, savoring every inch of him. He‘ll have to plead more if he wants to come, and he will. A fistful of hair and a tug makes him giggle again.

“Please, please let me come, I need it so bad”

“I know, sweet Minnie, you’re so cute when you beg”

Another moan as he swallowed again, and this time Hyunjin means it. He’s good at it. The tight squeeze of his throat sets off sparks in his head, and he can’t hold on. It builds in him, and it’s been so long since he’s been here, and came like this, even with you. But he pushes the thought away for now, because his brain feels like it’s shutting down, and all the matters is this, right now; the lips wrapped around his cock, and the heat pulsing through every part of him, making him shake as he empties himself, and it takes so much to not scream, so he bites down hard on his own hand to keep this in the room.

Now it’s so quiet, it’s scary. Hands still caress his thighs, and Hyunjin’s mouth is still there, licking up anything he may have missed. Seungmin feels so sensitive, but it’s good…the soft, careful touch of his tongue. After a few moments, he finally finds the energy to prop himself up and look down.

“Lucky girl,” Hyunjin smiles and gently pulls at his sweatpants until Seungmin is covered again. “I hope she does that for you whenever you want.”

You do, and as the feeling slowly returns to the rest of his body, and his mind catches up, he sees your face as you kneel for him, or as you sneak under the covers to finish waking him up.

“What are you thinking about, puppy?” Hyunjin’s head rests comfortably on Seungmin��s hip, “hmm? I see big thoughts moving around up there.”

He sees right, and he feels guilty needing you after what he just did. But maybe he should feel like this, because that’s what you felt, getting yourself into the mess you made and trying to run away at the last minute. But Seungmin didn’t run, and he’s perfectly comfortable right now, and the strangest part is how easy, and how fast it was.

“Thinking about her?”

Seungmin looks down, “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin smut #hyunjin fanfic #hyunjin smut #skz smut #hyunmin #seungjin #hyunjin x seungmin #hwang hyunjin fanfic #hwang hyunjin #seungmin x hyunjin #skz seungmin x reader #skz seungmin #skz hyunjin

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seungmoonandstars · 6 days

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#i love one man #goodbye #seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin skz #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 8 days

Text

⋆ ☾ 𝓂𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉 ⋆ ｡ﾟ⋆

-`♡´- fluff || ✴ explicit/18+ || ಇ fluff/explicit/18+ || ꩜ angst

𝒰𝓅𝒹𝒶𝓉𝑒𝒹: 𝒜𝓅𝓇𝒾𝓁 𝟣𝟩, 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟦

𝒻𝒾𝒸 𝓇𝑒𝒸𝓈 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓋𝑜𝓇𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝓅𝑒𝑜𝓅𝓁𝑒 🤍

𝒶𝒷𝑜𝓊𝓉 ૮ • ﻌ - ა⁩

Every story I write is a work of love, and I enjoy spending my free time doing it, regardless of the attention is receives, but your reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! If you enjoy anything I write, please reblog! ❣️

series

˗ˏˋ ★ 𝐵𝓁𝒾𝓃𝒹 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Part One -`♡´-

Part Two -`♡´-

Part Three ಇ

Part Four ಇ

Part Five ಇ

(blind date stories in (sort of) chronological order)

𓂅 August, 4am -`♡´-

𓂅 Phone sex ಇ

𓂅 Under the Tree ಇ

𓂅 Christmas Photos -`♡´-

𓂅 Warm ಇ

𓂅 Good Morning/Morning Sex ಇ

★ Blind Date Soft Kinks (requested by anon - wip)

→ Praise ಇ

→ I'll be sweet ಇ

→ Get on your knees pt 1 - pt 2 ✴

────────────────────✦

˗ˏˋ ★ 𝔀𝓲𝓼𝓱 𝓘 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭

Part One -`♡´-

Part Two -`♡´- ꩜

Part Three ಇ

────────────────────✦

oneshots/requests

→ catch -`♡´-

→ first kiss -`♡´-

→ Seungmin wants your babies -`♡´-

→ ೀ How to Build a Snowpuppy -`♡´-

→ Seungmin takes you backstage -`♡´-

→ on vocal Minnie ✴

→ Say it again...please ✴

→ Wedding Night ಇ

────────────────────✦

3k+ words

→ take care of me ⋆ part two ಇ

→ part three (wip)

→ I'm sorry I wasn't here ⋆ part two -`♡´- ꩜

→ I'm sorry I wasn't here ⋆ part three (wip)

────────────────────✦

☾ guidelines

• I only write Seungmin

• I am open to trying any style, but you can check out my other stuff above to see how I typically write

• I'm open to any type of request, but I'll let you know if it's out of my realm, or I'm not into it. I try to put all trigger warnings in my ratings, so watch for that (if I miss something, let me know).

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seungmoonandstars · 10 days

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𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 3.1k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 2

rating: angst/sort of fluff ꩜ -`♡´-

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

Now Seungmin remembers just how lonely he can get

The dorm is silent. It’s late and everyone is asleep, but he didn’t realize just how late it had gotten until he closed the door a little too loudly. He drops his bags and pulls off his clothes as he makes his way to the bed, tossing them and leaving a trail as he goes. Typically, he throws them right into his hamper, or folds them neatly on his chair, but tidyness is far from his mind right now—almost everything is.

But still, his mind is racing. It’s spinning and it’s aching, and his heart is, too. He feels outside of his own body as he replays the last hour in his head, and he just wants to wake up from this nightmare.

Seungmin crashes onto the bed. He hasn’t been here in a few weeks, at least not to sleep, and the bed feels all wrong. The thought of being here, and not where he’s supposed to be breaks him, and his breath catches in his throat as he desperately holds everything back. But it’s too much, and he has to cry. Silently, though—that much he can do. He turns and pushes his face into the pillow and lets go.

A text comes through, and the first thought that runs through his head—it’s you, it has to be. Pleading for forgiveness, and throwing I love you’s in every direction. It’s not until he looks at the screen that he remembers the shattered remains he left on the floor. But you have other ways; your laptop, mainly. If you really wanted to, you could reach him right now with no trouble.

This text is from Jeongin.

min is that you? I didn’t think you’d be here. Everything okay?

As quiet as he was, that was all kind of ruined when he had to blow his nose and breath properly again. And there’s something about a post-cry nose blow that’s just…obvious.

yeah I’m okay

Everything will come out in the morning anyway.

If you say so…we can have a drink and watch something if you want to talk

Jeongin isn’t just perceptive; he knows Seungmin well, and he knows when something is off.

we can talk tomorrow, I should sleep

Seungmin has no hope of sleep tonight.

· · ♡ · ·

The broken phone at your feet blinks pathetically, trying with everything it has to hold on and buzz a text message in. You don’t care, though. You don’t need your phone if Seungmin isn’t texting, or calling, and only realizing that now is your problem. You got complacent—apathetic over the months you’ve been with him. Unbelievably stupid. You’ve ruined the best thing that ever walked into your life. All you can think of now is every word you want and need to say to him, but you can’t.

No, you can. Your laptop is right there, on the coffee table. If anything, you can gather and organize your thoughts, because you can't imagine him wanting to hear from you tonight. Getting him back might be impossible, but this still feels necessary. Sending it off in an email is something morning you will decide on.

Minnie, I’m sorry it’s come this—I’m sorry you have to feel the way you do right now, and I need you to know how much it kills me that you’re hurting. I’m sorry that I’ve done so poorly as your person, something I should be better at by now, that I have to write to you this way just hoping you’ll read it. I’ve failed you, because I should have been stronger, and I should have been there for you when you needed me the most. Not stronger, no, just better…more perceptive and more understanding. I do know how lonely it gets for you, because you have mentioned it before, but I’ve been so selfish for so long. Getting to be yours for the last 2 years has been a dream. I never thought someone as sweet, and funny, and loving, and as beautiful as you would ever come into my life. I won’t try to explain my actions, because there is no explanation. I don’t deserve you, or your forgiveness. I broke your trust. I broke everything. I felt entitled to fix my loneliness when you were suffering with it, too. But you didn’t hurt me. You’ve never hurt me. I want you to know that I love you, though. I love you more than anything. You are irreplaceable and I will suffer without you, because I should.

Three, four times you read through it before deciding to hit send. It can’t wait until you decide to wake up in the morning, because sleeping tonight will be difficult—but crying is exhausting. You doze off for an hour, then jump out of it abruptly for no reason. Panic takes over, and your heart feels like it might explode as you orient yourself in a tangle of sheets. Seungmin isn’t here, and it takes a moment to remember why.

You smack the keyboard of your laptop until it wakes up, and the new email at the top of the pile makes the panic even worse.

RE: (no subject)

Twelve minutes ago.

You click it and brace yourself for more heartbreak; more difficult truth. An end.

· · ♡ · ·

Seungmin does decide to get up and get a soju, but he does it alone. He needs something to help him relax; numb things a little, and make his eyes a little heavier. The time between is spent looking through old messages between him and you, which is not making things better, but Seungmin wants to figure out where things went wrong. He gets as far back as four months of texts when a notification pops up on his phone.

You did exactly what I thought you would, he mumbles to himself. It’s an email, no subject. Before the little banner disappears, he opens it, and he devours every word far too quickly. Seungmin’s heart races and his stomach swirls as he scans each paragraph, and then he immediately goes back and starts again, slowly.

Now he has something more to dwell on. He gets up and heads to the kitchen for another drink, and when he returns, he just starts typing:

I love you, too. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that. I keep reading your email over and over as I type, because my head is a mess and I can’t focus much right now, but your words ground me. They always have. It’s been a while since you’ve given me a hand written letter, and this, of all things, made me miss that. You have a way with words that I just can’t seem to replicate. I’m hurting like I don’t remember ever hurting before. I feel opened up and ripped apart. I feel like I’m not enough, or I wasn’t enough. I was scared of a relationship because of this, I guess. Being away, not being enough, because I know I’m bad at expressing myself sometimes. Most of the time. Not being with you much makes it even harder. So I feel at fault, too. I need to own up to not always being there when you need me, even though it came with our type of relationship. I’m sorry it’s so hard for us to talk like this face to face…or for me to, I guess. I didn’t give you a chance.

· · ♡ · ·

That’s it.

You’re relieved, but you’re not sure if you should reply again. Leaving it at this until morning might be the best option. But what happens in the morning? Does Seungmin come back home? Will he reply if you email him again? Maybe he’ll sleep in late, leave again, leave you waiting for a message just like you did to him. You think back to the last time he was home, and how you weren’t even here because you ignored his text. Not just ignored, but didn’t even look at it to see that he was waiting and wondering why you weren’t there to greet him.

It feels like your heart is being squeezed just imagining his confused face. And then your mind moves to him…the other one, and it makes you sick thinking of him now. It should have done that before. Irreplaceable is exactly what Seungmin is, that was no exaggeration.

Luckily, you fall asleep with his words in your head; the I love you, the possibility of another chance. And your guilt, still, of making him think he hasn’t been enough.

· · ·

There’s hardly a chance to think of replying to Seungmin. You don’t sleep long, because once you’re awake, you’re awake. Showered, dressed, coffee slowly dripping in the glass caraffe. You prep enough in the hopes that he’ll have some, too, but that’s mostly wishful thinking—a desperate attempt at a manifestation.

A reply has been rolling around in your head since last night, and it formed into a solid set of paragraphs as you took your time in the shower, now you just have to sit and hope it comes out just as well. And you do open his email, but instead of typing, you grab a pencil and a piece of stationary from the desk—stationary you bought just for his letters. You haven’t touched them in at least a year.

It actually comes out easier this time.

Seungmin,

Might as well start properly.

You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like—

The sound of keys makes you stop. The slide of metal against metal as it’s pushed in and turned; every bit of it is so, so loud. You look again at the broken phone on the floor, not forgotten, but not even deserving of a place in the trash can. You couldn’t bring yourself to touch it.

When you look back at him, the first thing he does is find you, and then he looks to the aftermath of his out of character temper. Then back at you.

You set the pencil down and stand, but you don’t take a step toward him. Every part of you screams to be closer, though.

“Hi,” he takes a few steps inside, kicks off his shoes next to yours. “Morning.”

It’s nearly noon, but you can pretend you didn’t stay up and sleep in late. You haven’t had coffee yet, anyway, so that’s what you do—you force yourself to the kitchen and pour a mug, and then you pour the rest over ice for him.

He watches, but looks at what you were working on as he gets closer to the coffee table. You don’t say anything when he picks up the piece of paper and reads it, rereads it. “I got you something,” he says as he places it back on the table.

“Uhm…you did?”

Why would he do that? You don’t feel like you deserve his gifts at the best of times, so you certainly don’t want anything now.

Seungmin digs in the shopping bag and pulls out a little white box, opens it, and then hands you your new phone.

“I was out of line last night, when I…” he looks at it on the floor again, “I’m sorry.”

“No, Minnie…you weren’t, at all”

“You didn’t deserve my anger”

“I did, I needed it. I want it. Please don’t be nice to me.”

“Okay, if you really mean that…” He walks over slowly and picks up his glass, takes a long sip... “I’ve never felt so angry at you before. I didn’t think I could feel like that, honestly. And I was still holding back.”

“I could tell. Part of me wanted you to let go.”

“Let go, let go how? I could never hurt you.” His touch is a relief—the gentle slide of his thumb across your skin, his hand closing softly around your neck. A much different touch than last night. “Phone, yeah. Him, maybe.”

“That person is gone”

“Did it help…did he help? Were you less lonely with him?”

Thinking about it isn’t really necessary, but you take a long moment to look at Seungmin—his eyes are big and wet, and they’re puffy from not getting enough sleep, or crying. Most likely both, though you can only remember seeing Seungmin cry once in the time you’ve known him. And it wasn’t over you.

“No, I wasn’t. I think it was making me feel worse.”

“I’m irreplaceable, right?”

The tease in his voice is obvious, and his little laugh breaks every bit of tension in the room. You need to pull him in and kiss him, but whether or not you’re there yet is still a mystery. Instead, you shift slightly closer.

“Yes, you are”

He smiles. You’ve seen him smile like that before, and it’s always when he’s in a certain mood. Seungmin sets his glass down and takes yours from you.

“Seungmin”

The desperate whine just makes him smirk.

“Please, Minnie…I need you, so much”

“I know you do, I know.” But he grabs your wrists and stops you as you move toward his hips. “You have me. And I need something to.”

“Of course, anything”

“Can you finish your letter?”

· · ·

Seungmin is never fast in the shower, especially not after he’s been away for so long. There’s no need for him to rush around now—he knows he has plenty of time, and plenty of hot water no matter how long he takes. Typically, you leave him alone when he’s in there, despite the occasional urge to go in.

But this time, of all times, you decide to act on that urge.

There he is, behind the glass partition. Steam chokes the air, and condensation keeps his body mostly hidden from you, but he’s tall enough that you do get a peak—back turned, head twisted to the side so the water can beat down on his neck and shoulders. He rolls them, groans with relief, and sighs. It makes you dizzy.

Then he finally opens his eyes and sees you staring at him. He smiles so wide, with all of his teeth, and it’s the most beautiful sight. It’s as if nothing bad has happened, and nothing is slowly tearing the two of you apart.

“I think I’m finally losing hot water,” he muses, mostly to himself, but he doesn’t turn it off. What he does do is turn to you and fold his arms over the partition. He’s just tall enough. “Hi, do you have something for me?”

You nod, shyly, and you don’t know why. The way he’s looking at you seems brand new, and it feels so intense.

“Seungmin…” you start, paper clutched in one hand. You don’t think you even need to read from it now.

He doesn’t interrupt, but he nods and gives you another little smile.

“You’ve always been enough. I see you struggle every day with balancing your work and your regular life…me, us. I don’t know what that’s like. I don’t know how difficult and tiring it is to be on all the time, and to switch off when you walk through that door to me. I have it so easy—I get to hide away from everything, and then at the end of the day, or the end of the week, month…I get you, I get to hear your voice, and see your face, and I couldn’t ask for anything better…”

He ducks away, and the water is turned off as one more big plume of steam rises up and starts to clear. You reach for his towel, hold it open for him, and wait patiently as he drips and shakes his hair. It’s cute, and it’s the first time you’ve seen him do it.

“…because there’s nothing better”

Seungmin steps out and lets you wrap it around him. The water beading down his chest is too much, and as he’s tightening it around his waist, you lean forward and kiss him there. Muscle flexes as you pull away and place another one, and then another until your lips close around his nipple.

At any moment, he could pull away from you, because he hasn’t made his intentions clear yet. He could stay now, for a while, for the last time, or he could leave as soon as he’s dressed. The letter is written and read to him, though it was short, and maybe that was the last of your say on the subject. Maybe that’s why he showed up—that, and the phone.

No. Seungmin wouldn’t put in this much effort just to turn around and leave. He’s still upset, and he’s still confused.

He looks down at you and closes his eyes, savoring the warmth of your lips on his cool skin. It might be too much right now to touch again, but he wants to.

A hand up your back is all it takes to get a sound out of you.

“Hey”

“Yeah?” Your forehead presses against him and you avoid his gaze.

“Everything you said, just now and last night…” he stops and hmms to himself, musing out loud again, “and what I said. Why can’t we say those things to each other. Why did it take this, after so long?”

“Because we’re both afraid of being vulnerable with each other, at least on our feet.”

Seungmin laughs at that. “Yeah, I guess it’s a little different during sex, but even then…”

“Are you saying you want—“ you stop, but not because he interrupts you. You stop because you’re terrified of his answer.

“…to work on it?”

He can still finish your sentences. Maybe that’s part of the problem—thinking you can read each other’s mind, even though sometimes you absolutely do.

“I can feel your heartbeat”

And it feels like it could stop at any moment. It feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, preparing to jump…to get pushed.

Seungmin pulls you even closer, and you wrap your arms around his waist.

“Is that what you think we should do?”

“I just want you to trust the person you give yourself to”

“Is it silly if I still trust you? I know you want me to stay, but the way you talk makes it seem like you’re pushing me away. Like you’re giving me an out.”

“No, it’s not silly. I don’t want to push you away, but I do hate myself more than I ever thought I could.”

“Maybe we’ve talked enough today. We both need more sleep…can we do that?”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin angst #seungmin x you #kim seungmin x you #seungmin angst #skz x reader #skz seungmin #skz seungmin x reader #skz fanfic #skz angst #stray kids fanfic #stray kids seungmin #김승민 #승민 #seungmin imagines

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seungmoonandstars · 16 days

Text

Kim Seungmin/gn!reader

wc: 1.3k

rating: fluff -`♡´- (contains some very light smut and teasing)

Post-first pitch Seungmin. I was going to get into heavier smut, but it just didn't seem necessary. Just wanted to write cute whiny Minnie and try to unblock my brain.

Thank you for the reblogs! 🤍🤍🤍

★────★────★

Seungmin can’t sleep. He’s buzzing with adrenaline and leftover excitement —the afterglow of his trip to throw a first pitch at a major league baseball game. It’s happened and it’s done, and he still can’t believe he threw the ball right down the middle. No dirt, no accidental curve, no slip up on the mound.

He talked about it all night, and you listened happily until both of you finally dozed off.

“Hey…hey you up?” He turns over in bed and gently pokes your side, the spot he knows is ticklish.

But you don’t stir, so he whines a little. “I can’t sleeeeep.”

You grumble and roll onto your back. “Huh…what’s wrong pup? It’s so early.”

“I can’t get back to sleep”

“Do you want some coffee? Are you hungry?” You pick up your phone and look at the time, then to the window to see some faint morning light starting to show in the sky.

“No, I wanna pitch some more,” now he flips onto his back, shaking the bed, and mimics a throw toward the ceiling.

“Mmm yeah, you did a great job. I thought you had a headache.”

“I feel better. Will you be my catcher?”

Your eyes pop open and stare at him. The grin on his face is undeniable—cute, sincere, so eager. There is no such thing as saying no to Kim Seungmin when he gives you those eyes. But…

“I would love to be your catcher…but there’s nowhere to do it. We can’t do it in the apartment unless we wanna break something. And I think it’s raining.”

“No, it stopped! Let’s go out, just for a few minutes…just a few throws.”

“Okay, give me a minute to finish waking up”

“I’ll make coffee when we come back in”

—

It’s nice outside. Not warm, but not too chilly. The smell of rain is still in the air, and it feels like more is coming. Best of all, it’s quiet and empty—it doesn’t feel like there are any prying eyes. You watch as he flexes his gloved hand open and closed, tosses the ball (not the one he threw hours ago, but an older, more loved one) into the air and back into his bare palm.

“Are you ready?” He peeks back at you from his pretend pitchers mound and smiles.

“Yes. Don’t do a splitter, I’ll miss it.”

“No splitters.” He readies himself and winds up, and it happens so fast you’re surprised you have time to react. It’s way too early for this.

“Oh, good catch! I taught you well.” He holds up his glove and waits for your return throw.

The sun is mostly up, but it’s so overcast it might as well be twilight. Still, you can see Seungmin’s big smile glowing at you from this distance. He hops on the balls of his feet a few times while he waits for you to get ready.

“How does your shoulder feel from all the practice yesterday?”

“Not bad,” he throws you another, slightly harder pitch, but you catch it. “Throw me a good one.”

Seungmin catches your attempt at a ‘good one’, but he has to jump forward a few steps to get there. “I’m still stiff from sleeping, I guess.” He rolls his shoulder and shakes his arm a few times.

“You’re what?” You giggle and stick your tongue out, "you’re stiff? That sounds nice..."

“Dirty mind,” he smiles at you and licks his lips, and now your eyes drop and watch his sweatpants as he takes a few more steps toward you. "Come on."

“Come? What do you want me to come on?”

The look he gives you is a bad attempt at being annoyed. His giggle floats all the way over to you with his pitch, and the throw this time is soft…a little high. When you look back up from your glove he’s already splitting the space between you in two, grinning stupidly, biting his lip.

“We’re done already?”

He grabs your hand without a word and pulls toward the entrance… "we could just do it out here, ya know" …into the elevator, still silent as it slowly rises up and up to your floor. Your hand is squeezed tight in his warm grip, and he swings it a few times as the doors finally slide open.

It doesn’t take much to see he’s been on an adrenaline high for hours, even as he tried to sleep, and it was no fun not being able to go with him on his little trip—you felt lonely all day. But he’s home now, and he’s all yours again. And he’s definitely wide awake. Now you are, too. No coffee needed.

Still he doesn’t say anything, but he’s humming happily to himself.

“Minnie?”

“Yes love?”

The door closes behind him, and he’s all over you. Lips kissing and teeth biting, hands pulling at your sweatshirt, trying desperately to get it off. You pull away and do it for him, and you feel his hand run up your sides, under your shirt. It’s off and on the floor. His eyes move down your body, and slowly back up to your face. You know what he’s waiting for—Seungmin likes it when you undress him. He prefers it, actually.

Now you can see what’s going on in his pants, he can’t hide that. Before you go for his shirt, your hand slides down his front for a feel. Seungmin is ready to go, now, and you’re surprised he’s being so patient. You grab the hem of his shirt and lift, revealing his heaving chest and shoulders, and as you run your eyes over his neck and collarbone, he pulls his arms back and stretches.

A moment later you’re up and clinging to him, fingers clawing into his back. Then you’re on the kitchen table, legs wrapped around his hips. His dick, still tucked away in his sweats, pokes into you as he kisses your chest and neck, squeezes playfully at your thighs. It’s more forward of him than you’re used to.

“You are not fucking me on this kitchen table, Seungmin”

“Aw, whyyy?” He pulls you against him and stares hard, “please?” The puppy eyes again. Cute and sincere and so, so eager.

“The couch is right there”

“But you’re already on the table”

The warmth of his hand is on you, down your stomach, underneath your clothes, fingers teasing.

“Yeah, yeah I am…”

“Lay down,” he whispers.

“Ooh, you’re cute pup”

“Please”

You shake your head, “gonna have to make me.”

Seungmin swallows hard, and you watch as his eyes trace along your neck, and your chest. He rarely makes you do anything; he’s usually the one being made to do things, and he likes it that way.

“Make me…pleeaase?”

“Please?” He grips your thighs and pulls until you’re snug against him, cock pushing right where you need it to. “Uh…make you…hmm,” he starts, and you think he might do something, but he hesitates.

“Look at me”

His arms wrap around your waist and squeeze, and he looks. Eyes big and dark, cheeks blushed. Seungmin is too soft for this. He whines and throws his head back.

“C’mon big boy, make me”

“But…” Seungmin laughs, kisses your throat.

“What do you think about when you’re all riled up and horny and I’m not there to fix it?”

The sound of his breaths and needy whimpers is driving you crazy. You’re not sure how much longer you can keep going like this—all you have to do is stop teasing and take over—get him to the couch, fuck him until he begs you to make him come.

“You…taking care of me.” He says it so softly, so sweetly. “Making me feel good.”

It sends a shiver up your back and down your arms. "I wanna make you feel good.” Once again, denying him is useless. Seungmin is your prince; your sweet little pup. You will take care of him and give him what he needs, whether that means waking up at dawn…or this.

“Pick me up”

He grabs your hips and holds you close to him, but his eyes linger for one more long moment.

“Pick me up…and take me to bed”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin fluff #seungmin fluff #skz seungmin x reader #skz x reader #skz fanfic #seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 17 days

Text

Seungmin…I’ll never look at another man ever again, I promise. I don’t need to.

#skz kim seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin stray kids #stray kids seungmin #seungmin #i love one man #승민

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seungmoonandstars · 20 days

Note

When will part 4 of the blind date Kim Seungmin and reader be out?

Part four is right here! There is a part five as well

Masterlist

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fanfic #seungmin fanfic #answered

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seungmoonandstars · 23 days

Text

𝐼’𝓂 𝓈𝑜𝓇𝓇𝓎 𝐼 𝓌𝒶𝓈𝓃’𝓉 𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 1.8k

synopsis: someone is cheating // pt 1

rating: mature/angst ꩜ (contains: aggression, confrontation)

⤜ · · ♡ · · →

3pm

SM: I won’t be back until Sunday, love, but I’ll call you tonight before you fall asleep! Hopefully I can catch you before you do

YN: it’s okay, Min. I’ll be here, and I’ll be up for a while

SM: I’ll text first just in case

YN: ♥️

12:30am

SM: sleeping?

11am

SM: I’m sorry I missed you last night, we can try again today!

2pm

SM: babe, you know I hate double triple quadruple texting you. Are you okay?

· · ♡ · ·

Saturday, 10:30pm

Seungmin struggles for a moment with his key, but manages without dropping his bags. The door swings open, and he’s greeted by a dark foyer, a dark living room, and a single faint light coming from the kitchen. And it’s too quiet—no tv left on, no music playing to fill the silence, like usual. It’s a little warm inside, and it was a warm day, but Seungmin can feel a breeze coming in from one open window.

“I’m home,” he calls out softly, and his voice carries down the hall and into the open door of the bedroom. But the apartment is empty. You’re not here.

He looks down at his phone, opens his texts, and types. His face falls slowly as he figures out another message to send to you. Seungmin has been away a lot lately, and things have felt strained, but you always answer, eventually, even if it’s hours later. You’ve never been silent for more than a day, and now it’s going on two.

sm: hi love, I’m home early

After making sure you’re not just sound asleep in bed, he starts to type one more message. But he stops himself, and instead he starts to unpack his things.

A few minutes later, his phone buzzes.

yn: hey, I’m so sorry sweetie. I’ll be home soon. I went out with some friends and my phone died

He sighs, relieved to finally hear from you. But he doesn’t reply right away; he waits until he empties his bag, showers, get dressed, and makes himself tea.

The lock clicks and the door swings open just as he reaches for his phone.

“Minnie!” You run to him and he opens his arms to hold you against him. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”

He fights with questioning your absence—not from the house, but from answering his texts, and decides to wait. Right now, he wants to sit down with you and relax; talk; catch up. Maybe that will reveal the answers without him having to ask—he hopes it will, because it’s slowly starting to eat at him.

· · ♡ · ·

“We traveled all day today, a lot of driving, so it was a little hectic.” He curls up on the couch and hugs his knees tights to his chest. “I missed talking to you last night.”

“I guess I was more tired than I thought”

“But I’m here now”

Seungmin’s little nod, his hesitant smile…you missed him so much, and you’re not sure you can even begin to tell him just how much. You crawl across the couch and kneel in front of him. “You’re here”

The kiss you give him is returned, but it’s as hesitant as his smile.

“What’s wrong, Min?”

He shakes his head, “nothing…I’m okay, uhm…”

“You can tell me, you know that”

Yes, he can. The two of you tell each other everything, and as far as Seungmin knows, there are no secrets between you. So why does he suddenly feel so uneasy? “Just too tired to think straight. Maybe we should go to bed.”

“Yeah, let’s go to bed. Clean sheets and everything, all ready for you.”

· · ♡ · ·

Weeks pass, and eventually, Seungmin feels better—less worried, less unsure about things. It’s not completely gone, though. Every hour that passes without a reply from you makes his heart sink a little more. But then you do reply, and everything is fine for a while. Communication between you has changed…just a little bit, but enough.

It’s turning into a vicious cycle, and it’s not good for his head right now. He feels distracted from his work.

Seungmin video calls you on his way home a few days later. You don’t answer.

Coming home is like deja vu. Dark, though not quite as dark this time. The tv is on, and so is the bedroom light. Seungmin can hear the shower running when he closes the door. He’s relieved he doesn’t have to worry like last time, and for some reason, even though so much is still eating at him, being home feels good, and everything feels okay. You’re home and waiting for him, and maybe you haven’t been in much of a talking mood lately.

That’s all this is. Everything is good.

He hears his phone buzz and feels for it in his back pocket, but it’s not him. Yours is sitting on the kitchen counter, right next to the coffee you were drinking not long ago. It doesn’t seem out of place of him to look at the notification on your screen, because he’s done it before—you don’t hide anything from each other. But this time he isn’t sure of what he’s seeing. It’s not a text notif, or Instagram, or twitter. It’s not KakaoTalk, which he knows you use, just not much. This one is from Line, and the sender is a name you don’t recognize: 민수

Maybe it’s a coworker, or a client. You know so many people through your work, and Seungmin knows that. But the message is right there…two of them.

민수: I hope you had a good time...I did! I’ll see you again soon

The second message is a ❤️. The same red heart you always send to him. Seungmin feels every drop of blood drain from him, and he feels like he’s falling, but he’s not. His feet are somehow still flat on the floor, and his hand trembles as he touches your screen—he wants to see it and read it one more time, just in case he read it wrong.

The shower stops, and in the time it takes you to get yourself dressed, Seungmin doesn’t move. He’s rooted to this spot, and he’s sure if he takes a single step, he’ll crumble, and he won’t be able to put himself back together again.

“Minnie?”

Your voice echoes in his head.

“Seungmin, baby, you’re home…what—“

He sees your eyes move and glance at your phone on the counter, and then they’re back on his.

“What’s wrong?”

Why can’t he speak? His mouth drops open and nothing comes out, but inside he’s screaming, picking something up and throwing it against the wall, jumping on you and shaking you until you tell him…

“Why?” Is all he manages.

“Why what? Is everything okay? Seungmin, you look so pale…”

His fist clenches behind his back. “I know I haven’t been around much lately…more than lately. But I’m trying. I try so hard to be with you…when I’m away. I thought I was…” he stops and takes a stuttering breath, and his nails dig so hard into his palm, it feels like he’s breaking skin, “…doing okay.”

“Seungmin, you do better than okay”

“Where have you been? You never answer my calls anymore. You hardly text back, and when you do…it’s hours later.”

“You’re right, I’ve been really bad at this for the last few weeks”

“Who is Minsoo?”

There's silence for far longer than either of you intend, but breaking it is impossible. Seungmin said it out loud, he had to, and now things will play out exactly as they should.

But the silence is as much of an answer as he needs. He turns to your phone and picks it up, looks at the messages again. The heart was sent an hour ago, right after you left wherever you were, got home, made coffee, got in the shower. Seungmin wonders what clothes are lying on the bathroom floor right now, and his eyes sting with tears at what his mind creates.

The metal frame of the phone gives a little under his grip, and it gives in completely when it meets the wall between you. The sound is intense—the crunch of glass, the crumble of drywall. Seungmin is strong when he’s not angry, and right now he’s more than that. He’s pissed, and he’s confused.

“Why?” His hand runs through his hair and stays there as he stares at the remnants of your phone; one half of the lifeline between you when he’s gone. “Answer me.”

You jump again, despite the eerie softness of his voice. You have no answer for him, and even if you did, it wouldn’t change a thing right now. “Minnie, I love you.”

“You love me?”

He takes a few steps toward you, and you move back just as many. Seungmin has never given you any reason to fear him, and he’s never argued or fought. You don’t know anyone nearly as level-headed and calm as him, but you’ve also never done anything this stupid before.

“I do, more than anything.”

This time you stay put when he closes the gap, because something has to happen, and there’s nowhere else to go. It’s you, it’s Seungmin, and it’s the wall behind you.

His hands come up, close around your cheeks, and his thumbs run over them so sweetly, “you love me…but, you fucked someone else?”

“I didn’t. Seungmin, I didn’t. Please.”

“You've been ignoring me for another man. Pouring yourself out to him? Telling him things, telling him how you feel being all alone in bed all the time because your boyfriend is never here for you.”

“No. No, Seungmin.”

His touch on you tightens, just for a moment, as he matches the intensity of your gaze. And then he relaxes and lets go. You stay quiet as he grabs his bag and disappears into the bedroom, and you brace yourself for a slam that doesn’t come. There may be no coming back after this, and you know that. It didn’t cross your mind what might happen if a night like this came, because you weren’t sure if what you were doing, at least initially, was that wrong. But things spiraled, and you spiraled with them, and you let your isolation get the better of you.

You should have stopped when the messages got more frequent; when you felt guilty texting Seungmin at the same time as him; ignoring a phone call when you were with him.

Seungmin flies by you and heads for the door.

“Please don’t leave, Minnie, I need you”

“You need me?” He pulls his shoes on and takes his time re-lacing them. “I needed you, too. Every time I text you goodnight, or facetime you, I do it for a reason.”

“I know. I fucked up.”

“Because it’s lonely being away, even when I’m surrounded by people. Did I ever tell you that?”

“No”

“That much is my fault then, but I didn’t think I had to tell you.” He picks up both of his bags and opens the door.

“Where are you going?”

“My dorm,” he looks back once more with his hand on the doorknob, but says nothing.

“I love you…I love you, Min”

“Goodnight”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x y/n #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin #seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin angst #seungmin angst #skz seungmin x reader #skz seungmin #skz x reader #skz angst #skz fanfic #stray kids seungmin #stray kids angst

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seungmoonandstars · 29 days

Text

…𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌

dom!Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 1.8k

rating: explicit/18+ ✴ (contains: teasing, slapping, unprotected sex, face fucking)

─────────────⭒♡

Seungmin is as quiet as a mouse when he comes in late. Usually. There’s always the odd time here and there when his feet find something to trip on, and he wakes you before he gets to the bedroom, but he tries. And it doesn’t matter that he knows you want to see him as soon as he’s home, so he’s allowed to be loud. He just can’t do it. He's not quite the noisy puppy he is any other time.

But tonight you’re startled awake by the louder than usual click of the door; the kick of his shoes against the floor, and the drop of his bag.

You smile to yourself, but then wonder what he’s up to. So you get up, of course, throw a t-shirt over your head, find your slippers. He’s mostly in the dark, but you can see the glow of the refrigerator, and his ass sticking up in the air as he’s bent down to grab something.

Seungmin jumps when you speak up (“If you’re hungry I can—“) and you hear the clink of his beer bottle.

“Oh I woke you, I’m sorry.” He pops off the cap, but his eyes don’t leave yours. His lips turn up into a tiny smile, and his gaze is a little intense.

“It’s alright, I was trying to wait up anyway”

Silence. He takes a long drink.

“How was the recording? Was it a long day?”

He nods, “yeah, it was a long day. Long couple of days, actually.”

You know he’s a little off, and he knows that you know he’s a little off. Seungmin is all smiles and sweet talk when he comes home, every time, regardless of how tired he is.

“I’ll head back to bed. I have clean clothes out for you.”

“No, come here”

He somehow manages to sound quiet and loud at the same time. It sends a wave of goosebumps over your arms and up the back of your neck, and when you turn, he’s still staring into you. Straight through you.

You fold your arms over your chest and take a few steps toward him. His lips turn up a little more, and the dark makes him look as serious as you’ve ever seen him. There are still a few feet between you, and you close the space when he cocks an eyebrow and tilts his head—he doesn’t look like Minnie, though. This is Seungmin.

His hands slide roughly over your shoulders until he can hold either side of your neck. “Did you miss me?” He leans in, but not enough to kiss.

Fingertips knead against your hairline, and his thumb runs across your jaw.

“So much,” you whisper and groan when he kneads a little harder. “I missed you so much.”

“Good.” His smile grows, and his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “…missed you more.”

“You had a bad day, didn’t you Min?” Your hands close over his, “we can…talk about it.” The look you give him isn’t a talking look, though. He knows that. “Work it out.”

Now he leans in a little closer, grazes his lips across yours, smiles. “Work it out…yeah.” The grip on your neck tightens as he kisses, slips his tongue over your teeth, and pushes it hard against yours. You can feel his groan—the shake of his chest and throat, as it fills your mouth. And he doesn’t let you take a fresh gulp of air, even when you squeeze his wrists and dig your nails in.

No, he moans even more. One hand drops and snakes around your waist. The hard tip of his cock presses against you as he pulls you close and paws at the hem of your shirt, and just as you expect him to bring it up and over your head, he stops. Both hands drop, leaving you cold.

He doesn’t say a word as he takes a step back and looks at you—just rubs at his lips with the heel of his hand, and sighs deeply.

“Seung—“

His finger presses against his lips.

You know pushing him a little will just make him go even harder… “mo.”

It takes him a moment to react, but when he does, he knocks the wind right out of you. Hands squeeze firmly…brutally into the back of your thighs. You can feel his nails breaking the skin as he lifts and wraps you around him.

He moves fast across the living room, and kicks the door open, with a grunt, to the dark bedroom

“Minnie”

But he drops you on the bed, still no words, stands there and watches as you squirm to get yourself onto the pillow. You change your mind, though, and slowly lift yourself, “Min…baby.” He lets you reach out and run a hand up his thigh, but his clothes are too much—too in the way.

“Go ahead.” He whispers it. There’s just enough light to see him biting down on his lip. “Take 'em off.”

You pull at the button of his jeans until it pops open, and the zipper follows easily. His dick is begging to be released, but when you go to pull, he grabs your wrist.

“Am I sweet enough for you?”

Soft voice, fingers pushing between yours until they’re laced together.

“Sweet?”

He taps his forefinger under your chin, and then slides it slowly down to your throat. “Sweet, I’m so sweet for you. Right?”

"Yes, Min…you’re always—''

“Get on your knees”

Your heart races, and a shiver runs all the way through you. And you do what he says. Legs fold up to your chest as you turn and crawl away from him, but you don’t look away. And he doesn’t look away. He’s pulling at the sides of his jeans, and you watch, hypnotized, as they slide down his hips and hit the floor. Now he’s crawling to you, and “down” comes out so low in his chest it sounds like a growl.

Elbows down and face in the pillow, you can feel the slow slide of your shirt up your torso, and then his fingertips ghost over your thigh. A squeak escapes when his hand comes down hard on your ass, and your legs shake. You’re blind to him, but you feel the careful movement of his fingers as your underwear is forced to the side. The fabric rips and Seungmin finishes the job.

He doesn’t slap, but he squeezes the pink mark he made until you whimper.

“Seungmiiin…”

You say it quietly, but the room is quieter.

“…my sweet Minnie”

Another slap lands in the same spot, and it stings. He’s holding back, but he doesn’t know how strong he is.

“Sweet…my sweet little pup—"

Two more before you can finish the thought. You’re forced down into the pillow as his cock pushes in, and from this angle it’s easy, but you whine for him, because the stretch is still a relief after so long without him.

“I know,” he purrs. “I know you missed me.” Seungmin takes his time, but it’s still rough. He didn’t give you enough time to prepare for him, and he’s certainly not going to wait, but there’s still something sweet and sensual about his speed, his movements—he can’t keep himself from a slow fuck no matter what kind of mood he’s in.

“What was that?” He leans forward when he hears a mumble come from the corner of your mouth, and one hand wraps around the back of your neck. He needs to make sure it wasn’t another tease. “What did you say, baby?”

“I—"

“Hm?”

You can’t get it out. Between his hands and his slow, hard thrusts, catching a lungful of air is a challenge, but you’ve been here before and you never disappoint him. Seungmin hits harder, once, twice…and then he’s off of you, and you inhale as all of his weight is gone. But his hands grab your hips and pull—push down, spread you open.

“Go ahead,” he says softly, a little mocking. You’re pulled down further and he hangs over you, licks his lips and smiles, “you love me, I know.”

The heat coming off of him is suffocating, but now you can breathe. Sweat blooms on his forehead, his chest, and you can see how hard his lungs are working, and his blood—the vein in his neck is jumping out at you, and you just want to touch him.

He snatches your wrist midair and pushes it against the bed. “No…relax, be quiet.”

You swallow hard and he climbs over your body, and you know exactly what he’s thinking. Before he even grabs his cock and settles over your chest, you lick your lips one last time, take a deep breath, and open up.

Fingers squeeze his hips as your mouth closes around him, but you don’t dare slow him down. You’ve been here enough times to know he’ll push in deeper, and harder.

“Good, that’s good. You like that, don’t you?”

You can’t answer, you can’t even nod for him, but the tears running down the side of your face are enough. He wipes at them, and runs the wet pad of his thumb across your cheek.

“You gonna make me come, hm? Right where it belongs…” he steadies himself on the headboard and rolls his hips.

You take every inch he gives you, work your tongue around him, do what you know he likes as well as you can. He’s not worried about lasting now, and he’s not concerned about the fireworks—Seungmin just wants to empty himself down your throat, so you make it happen.

“Fuck.” You can feel his thighs tremble, but it’s only a moment of weakness. He picks up his pace and groans when you take in more of him. His hips jump, and he slows down, and you’re filled up with him. Heat trickles down your throat as you attempt to swallow fast and breathe at the same time, but your chest is on fire, and he keeps fucking, slow and steady.

He gently slides his fingertips over your forehead and down your temple, “good girl,” he pants, and slowly pulls himself out.

As steadily as you can, you gasp for air and swallow. You’re usually good at keeping your composure for him, but you cough, and he smiles as he carefully moves to his side of the bed. And then he comes down and kisses you hard, and you can feel the smile still tugging at his lips.

“Seungmiiin,” you whine a little, plead for his attention, but he’s not giving in yet. He pulls the blanket up to his waist and relaxes against his pillow.

“Min…Min…baby”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you’re home”

“Yeah,” he turns himself to face you and runs a hand through his sweat damp hair, “…yeah, I know.”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #dom!kim seungmin #dom seungmin #dom!seungmin #kim seungmin fanfic #skz kim seungmin #skz seungmin x reader #skz seungmin #skz x reader #seungmin fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Text

ksm *⁀➷

˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

#kim seungmin #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #ksm #seungmin #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Text

…𝐼 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌

dom!Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: 1.8k

rating: explicit/18+ ✴ (contains: teasing, slapping, unprotected sex, face fucking)

─────────────⭒♡

But tonight you’re startled awake by the louder than usual click of the door; the kick of his shoes against the floor, and the drop of his bag.

Seungmin jumps when you speak up (“If you’re hungry I can—“) and you hear the clink of his beer bottle.

“Oh I woke you, I’m sorry.” He pops off the cap, but his eyes don’t leave yours. His lips turn up into a tiny smile, and his gaze is a little intense.

“It’s alright, I was trying to wait up anyway”

Silence. He takes a long drink.

“How was the recording? Was it a long day?”

He nods, “yeah, it was a long day. Long couple of days, actually.”

You know he’s a little off, and he knows that you know he’s a little off. Seungmin is all smiles and sweet talk when he comes home, every time, regardless of how tired he is.

“I’ll head back to bed. I have clean clothes out for you.”

“No, come here”

His hands slide roughly over your shoulders until he can hold either side of your neck. “Did you miss me?” He leans in, but not enough to kiss.

Fingertips knead against your hairline, and his thumb runs across your jaw.

“So much,” you whisper and groan when he kneads a little harder. “I missed you so much.”

“Good.” His smile grows, and his tongue pokes out to wet his lips. “…missed you more.”

“You had a bad day, didn’t you Min?” Your hands close over his, “we can…talk about it.” The look you give him isn’t a talking look, though. He knows that. “Work it out.”

He doesn’t say a word as he takes a step back and looks at you—just rubs at his lips with the heel of his hand, and sighs deeply.

“Seung—“

His finger presses against his lips.

You know pushing him a little will just make him go even harder… “mo.”

He moves fast across the living room, and kicks the door open, with a grunt, to the dark bedroom

“Minnie”

“Go ahead.” He whispers it. There’s just enough light to see him biting down on his lip. “Take 'em off.”

You pull at the button of his jeans until it pops open, and the zipper follows easily. His dick is begging to be released, but when you go to pull, he grabs your wrist.

“Am I sweet enough for you?”

Soft voice, fingers pushing between yours until they’re laced together.

“Sweet?”

He taps his forefinger under your chin, and then slides it slowly down to your throat. “Sweet, I’m so sweet for you. Right?”

"Yes, Min…you’re always—''

“Get on your knees”

He doesn’t slap, but he squeezes the pink mark he made until you whimper.

“Seungmiiin…”

You say it quietly, but the room is quieter.

“…my sweet Minnie”

Another slap lands in the same spot, and it stings. He’s holding back, but he doesn’t know how strong he is.

“Sweet…my sweet little pup—"

“I—"

“Hm?”

“Go ahead,” he says softly, a little mocking. You’re pulled down further and he hangs over you, licks his lips and smiles, “you love me, I know.”

He snatches your wrist midair and pushes it against the bed. “No…relax, be quiet.”

Fingers squeeze his hips as your mouth closes around him, but you don’t dare slow him down. You’ve been here enough times to know he’ll push in deeper, and harder.

“Good, that’s good. You like that, don’t you?”

You can’t answer, you can’t even nod for him, but the tears running down the side of your face are enough. He wipes at them, and runs the wet pad of his thumb across your cheek.

“You gonna make me come, hm? Right where it belongs…” he steadies himself on the headboard and rolls his hips.

He gently slides his fingertips over your forehead and down your temple, “good girl,” he pants, and slowly pulls himself out.

“Seungmiiin,” you whine a little, plead for his attention, but he’s not giving in yet. He pulls the blanket up to his waist and relaxes against his pillow.

“Min…Min…baby”

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you’re home”

“Yeah,” he turns himself to face you and runs a hand through his sweat damp hair, “…yeah, I know.”

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Note

Seungmin being far away and horny and alone in his hotel room while he talks to you and starts getting hard and touching himself and she slowly figures it out??

can’t be blind date au or anything else!

Kim Seungmin/female reader

wc: ~1.4k

rating: fluff(little bit of smut)fluff ಇ

thank you anon! Hope you enjoy~ (ꈍᴗꈍ)♡

⋆⁺ ☾ ⋆⁺

It’s so late.

Seungmin is tired, but he can’t sleep no matter what he does, and no matter how much he tries to relax. He’s still hyped up from the previous day, and that’s understandable. A lot has been happening lately, and he’s been traveling almost nonstop.

But he misses his bed and he misses sleeping next to you in the silk sheets he loves so much—he really misses getting comfortable in your arms, and dozing off as you rub all of his tense spots.

He breaks his attempt at relaxation and looks at his phone, checks the time (3:30am), turns off sleep mode. It’s likely you’re asleep, but whether or not you have to get up early for work…he’s not sure. You’ve been working far less lately because you don’t need to work so much anymore. But he knows you get bored, and you’re always doing something.

Seungmin decides to take a chance, and he sends you a text…

“hi hi my love, are you up? Sorry if I wake you 🐶♥️”

…then opens YouTube to help pass the time, and hopefully help make him sleepy.

But you are up.

“hi pup, why are you still awake? It’s so late”

“can’t sleep, why are you up?”

A video call comes through. He clicks on the lamp as he answers and waves to you.

“You all alone baby?”

“Yeah, I’m all alooone,” he sings, and rolls onto his stomach, “are you alone?” He laughs when he sees the shadow of a smile on your lips.

“unfortunately…how was your day, Min?”

“It was long and it was so warm today. And my room is warm even with the air conditioner on”

“Do you have a fan?”

“No…turn your little lamp on, I can’t see you very well”

Seungmin hears the soft ruffle of blankets, and then a slap on the bedside table. The little puppy shaped nightlight he gave you casts a warm glow on your face.

“Much better…I don’t have a fan, no”

“It’s hard to fall asleep when it’s so warm”

“How was your day? Did you work?”

“Not today, no. I cleaned and rearranged the kitchen and made room for your new coffee maker”

“Oh it came! Thank you for setting it up”

He watches as your phone drops, everything goes dark, and the sound of blankets or pillows or both being moved around muffles everything. And then it’s quiet.

“Where did you go?”

No answer. Seungmin waits a few more seconds, then puts his mouth right up to his phone…

“Are you there, love?”

The screen lights up again as you lift it. He catches more of you now, because you turned on another lamp, and he sees where you went—there’s a phone charger in your hand.

“Sorry, my phone is almost dead…I’m good now”

“What are you wearing?”

“Hm? What am I…what am I wearing? That’s cute, pup. The same thing I always wear to bed, I think.”

“Yes but I haven’t seen you iiiiinn…” he cocks his head to the side and pokes his tongue out as he thinks, “nine days.”

“That is a very long time to be away from you”

He holds the phone carefully as he fluffs up his pillow and turns onto his back again, “let me see you…hold the phone over your shoulder so…yes like that,” he smiles.

“Satisfied?”

“Mhm, much more than I was five minutes ago”

You watch as he relaxes into his pillows, and now the way the light hits him bounces off the sweat on his forehead. His hand appears, and he rakes his hair up and away from it, and some of it stays neatly pushed back.

“Am I keeping you up?”

Now it’s just a perfectly framed image of his shoulders and tired face.

“No…I’ll fall asleep if I want to. You should try to relax, though”

“I am trying, I promise,” he bites down on his bottom lip and closes his eyes for a moment. And then he sighs so deeply, “hey, look at me”

You focus on him. A smirk tugs at his lips, and he sighs again.

“Where else would I wanna look?”

His laugh is lazy and sweet—the phone shakes a little, but it stays firmly in his hand, pointed at his face. And then a soft moan floats out of him, and you can’t believe you even catch it.

“Seungmin?”!You turn and lay on your side, face half hidden in the pillow. It’s easier to keep the camera on you like this. “What are you doin, pup?”

“Hmm?” His eyes are heavy, and his lips part just a bit.

“What are you doin?”

“Relaxing”

“Good”

“Yeah, I’m glad you called”

“Let me see”

“Hm, what you want to see?”

“Let me see you relaxing”

A blush spreads across his face, because this is a first for both of you. You’ve thought about it before, and he’s thought about it, too, but you’ve never gone as far as doing it.

The phone moves slowly down his body. Now you can see his t-shirt is pulled up and his stomach is out, shorts are pulled down just enough for you to see his cock, already so hard in his hand. His fingers are curled below his head, and he moves his hand down. Then up.

You can hear him moaning with every slow, hard stroke.

“Maybe we should both be relaxing,” he points the camera at himself and smiles innocently. And he keeps it there so he can watch you.

“I’ve needed to all day”

“Have you been thinking about me all day?”

“All day…every day”

“What are we doing in all your thoughts?”

Now you notice the slow, subtle movements of his shoulder as his hand moves up and down. His moans become a little more audible.

“You finally get home, and you come in with your hands full, like always, and I start undressing you before you can put anything down….”

He mhmmm’s and sinks even further into the pillows.

“And you drop everything and stand there while I get you…almost naked, and you grab me and kiss me and…”

“Start undressing you, I hope”

“Mhm, and we make it to the couch and I get between your legs and take out your dick. Get you even harder. Choke on you…”

The movement of his shoulder is much more obvious now. He licks his lips.

“Suck you and lick you…that spot you like so much”

“Yeah, yeah…you know what I like.”

“I do know what you like…I know exactly what you like. Then I crawl on top of you and fuck you…”

Seungmin smiles and moans as his strokes speed up even more.

“…take my time on your cock, so I can enjoy every second of you stretching me open”

His mouth hangs open and his eyes close slowly. You can feel how close he’s getting—you know that look on his face.

“grind into you…” you whimper as you talk—the thought alone is making you wet, “bounce on you, touch you so softly, just how you like it…make you feel good, pup”

“You feel so good,” he whines, and the phone shakes as he tries to keep it on him. His hips buck up against his touch—you can hear his desperate strokes as he gets closer.

“You gonna come for me? I want you to come, pup”

He cries out a little when he does, whines your name quietly.

“Good boy, you’re so pretty when you come”

The phone drops, and now all you can see is the ceiling of the hotel room, and the phone shakes a little with his movements. You can hear his heavy breaths for a few moments until, finally, he grabs the phone again and looks at you.

Face pink and sweaty—his hair is down against his forehead again, and sticking together at the ends. He shakes it out of his eyes.

“Hey”

It takes a few more seconds until he composes himself again.

“Mm, that was…I feel much better”

“good, you look a little sleepier”

He pulls the phone even closer, and now all you see is the corner of his face—his eye, the top of his ear, “thank you for staying up with me.”

“Any time”

The phone drops again, and when Seungmin returns, his shirt is off. “Sorry, cleaning up my mess.”

“Do you want to talk until you fall asleep?”

“Yes please”

He turns on his side and fluffs his pillow until he’s comfortable. Now you can only see half of his face, but you do see his mouth turn up in a smile.

#kim seungmin fanfic #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x reader #seungmin smut #kim seungmin smut #skz kim seungmin #skz seungmin #skz seungmin x reader #skz x reader #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #seungmin fanfic #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Text

Get on your knees (part 2)

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 1.6k

rating: explicit/18+ ✴ (contains anal play; m receiving rimming/fingering, slapping, pet names)

comments: part 2 of this request! @milknhoneyracha hope you guys enjoy this as much as Seungmin did

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

The bed shifts. Seungmin doesn't move, though. He sits up and watches closely as you make your way toward the corner of the room. The little shimmery string lights he put over the mirror click on, casting some much needed warm light onto the walls. You can see him now.

When you turn to him, he stares widely at you. Knees up, palms of his hands holding him steady as he follows you with his eyes. You dig in the top drawer of his dresser and pull out a t-shirt; one of his big, comfy ones he's long since surrendered to you. Most of the clothes in his dresser get more use from you, anyway. So many of his things remain in one of the overnight bags, or his weekend bag.

One is sitting by your feet right now. A few things are pulled out and almost on the floor, but he had to dig through it to find the gift he brought home for you.

"Get on your knees," you look to him and pull the shirt over your head. "Please."

"On my knees?" he says it quietly before sitting up a little more. "Like...on my hands and knees?"

You nod and lick your lips, "yeah, on all fours."

Finally, he starts to move. You stay where you are and watch him.

"Only because I love you," he laughs nervously, gets up on his knees, and turns. Before he drops down onto his hands, he looks back at you one more time, eyes still big.

"I love you more."

You start toward the bed again, and then he bends down for you. He's still mostly hard, and you can see his dick bounce in the small, shy space between his legs. Goosebumps dot the pale skin on the back of his thighs. He makes a soft sound when the bed shifts again and your hand touches him—slides up his hip, over his ass. Your fingertips graze his thigh and tickle slowly downward, until his knees part a little more.

"That's better. You don't have to be shy with me, pup."

He doesn't say anything, but you can hear him laugh softly. He drops his head and his forehead grazes against his pillow, “I’m okay."

"It's a beautiful view...trust me," you grab both of his ass cheeks and squeeze gently. It gets another low moan out of him, and it sends a bolt of pleasure through you. He tightens up, his legs shift.

You start with the sensitive spot below his hole, and lick your way down his balls. He wasn't ready for that, but he likes it—his knees open up a little more. You hold tight to his thighs and suck gently.

Seungmin ooh’s so softly.

“You like that?”

“Yes,” he whines. He lowers himself on the bed, and opens himself up even more, “I like it.”

“Good boy.”

When your tongue hits him again, he shakes harder. You lick slowly over his hole before closing your mouth around him. Your tongue dives in deeper and you think he might collapse onto the bed, but he holds himself up.

Fists clench the bed sheets. He pushes back into your mouth.

You pull back out and tease him with the tip. One hand reaches up and grabs for his cock, hard and hot, pre-cum starting to drip again. “Very good, pup.” You nip and kiss his cheek, “you like being on your knees for me?”

A grunt is all you hear, then he’s back up on his hands.

You squeeze him again, harder, “well?” and release him, and then the open palm of your hand comes down hard. The slap lands nicely, and it’s loud. “I wanna know how good it feels.”

Seungmin leans into it, “…feels so good, baby,” and then back, stretching himself open. “Don’t stop.”

“Don’t worry,” you kiss the red spot and make your way back to his hole. “Anything for my sweet boy.”

As much as you want to continue teasing, the need to devour him is so much stronger. Your mouth covers him completely and your tongue pushes hard and flat into him, kisses, sucks. The tip slides back in easily and fucks him.

His ass pushes toward you again, and his thighs spread further and further apart as he loses control of himself. Seungmin moans like you’ve never heard before—it’s desperate and needy. He whines your name…cries, begs for more.

“Oh puppy, you sound so sweet begging for it.”

His laugh comes out giddy and drunk, arms gave out long ago, and now his face is shoved into the pillow. The soft arch of his back; his ass sticking straight up for you, it’s driving you crazy.

You set your hand over his and stroke his cock, moving him faster and faster, getting him closer to his orgasm. His thighs slide even further apart, and you have to lean down to reach him.

It’s easy to forget how limber he is until he does something like this in front of you. If only you had a strap on…

“Where’d you go?” He looks back and smiles.

“I’m here,” you run your finger from the top of his ass and down until you can cup his balls in the palm of your hand (he jerks his hips and growls), “just admiring how nicely you…bend.” You slide it back up and rub him with your fingertip.

Again you hear it, a throaty little growl.

“Did you just growl at me?” You lick him and rub a little harder. “…do it again.”

He pulls his knees together just enough to give you more space. And then he growls again, louder.

“Yeah I like that,” your mouth closes around him while you reach for the bottle of lube.

He hears it click open, and turns his head to search for you. All he can see is your face, your mouth on his ass, a smile pulling at the corners of your lips. Seungmin laughs and shoves his face into the pillow—his voice comes out muffled, “be gentle with me.”

“I always am,” you whisper and drip lube onto your fingertips, rub your thumb against them to warm it up. You reach down and stroke some of it onto his cock.

Gentle is exactly what you plan on being, and you want him to come hard while you stretch him out. “Touch yourself for me, sweetie, get nice and close.”

He listens and groans as he paws at himself, rubs easily at the slick underside of his dick. His strokes start nice and slow while your fingers circle his hole, and he relaxes.

All you can hear in the quiet room is his soft whining, his whispers…a fuck…please.

Your middle finger slips in so easily, but you still move slow. Seungmin takes it all with ease, he moans when you slide in and out, clenches around you. The roll of his hips as he strokes himself stretches him. You pull out and rub eagerly with both fingertips.

Lips close in on him—on his cheek, down to his thigh. You caress him with your free hand, knead gently into his muscle. He sighs and looks at you with his heavy, hungry eyes. His body is relaxing and sinking further into the covers.

Both fingertips slip in, and this time, he doesn’t stop you. Halfway in, he groans, but it’s a good groan. It turns into a growl. He drops even further down, and again his thighs are stretched out on either side, working hard to keep him up. His movements push you in even deeper. Soon he’s stretched around two full fingers, but he looks back and begs for more.

“More?” You push in and out to match his thrusts.

He picks himself up and pushes back hard into you, but you hold him still and slow down. Your fingers spread, stretching him as much as possible without attempting a third finger, “you’re so tight, pup. You gonna come for me?”

Seungmin starts to speak, but it’s cut short by a moan when you spread your fingers again. “Mhmm I’m gonna come, I’m gonna come for you.” His hips drop again and he rolls them hard into the bed. Whatever friction he’s causing is getting him there, your fingers push in even harder. Your body leans over his, and your lips find a spot along his back to kiss.

When he finally comes, his breath catches in his chest. You can feel his body under you, it stops and starts again, slows down. He cries out with his release. It takes him a few slow, deep breaths before he softens his body and lets it fall fully onto the bed.

You kiss all the way up until you get to the top of his shoulder. He turns and looks at you, eyes still heavy with lust, a smirk tugging at his lips. But he’s quiet.

“Was that good, Min?” You ask softly. Your lips stay pressed into his shoulder, “hm?”

His smile widens, and his tongue comes out to wet his lips. Still, he’s silent. His eyes dart back and forth between yours.

“Minnie! You better answer me.”

He takes a deep breath, “it was,” he finally says, and sounds shy again. “It felt…so good. Can we do that again?”

The look on your face makes him smile even wider.

“We can do it again, and we can do much more.”

“Yeah…more, definitely.” He turns his body, pulls you close, and buries his face into your neck. “I want you to fuck me like that.”

#kim seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #kim seungmin fanfic #seungmin fanfic #skz fanfic #skz smut #skz seungmin x reader #skz x reader #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #seungmin stray kids

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Note

No see now hear me out okay. Everyone thinks pegging is this rough, fast paced thing. Its not, its just like any other penetrative sex.

Blind date seungmins reactions to...not full on pegging, but a little...exploring when your giving him head

Okay anon. You've inspired me, and I'm not sure why my mind didn't end up here on its own.

Get on your knees (part 1)

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: ~1k

rating: explicit/18+ ✴ (contains anal play; m receiving rimming, fingering)

comments: more soft kinks for blind date universe Minnie/F!reader

this is the first part so...tbc PART 2 @milknhoneyracha ( ‾́ ◡ ‾́ )

⋆⁺₊⋆

The dark of the room is making it difficult to see, but you can hear him. He gets loud. He’s not quite as shy anymore when it comes to letting you know what he likes, but he has his moments.

Seungmin thrusts his hips toward you, slides his leg up and pushes his thighs open more.

Soft, pleading whimpers fall sweetly on your ears. Hands reach, fingers find and grab at whatever he can. He just wants to touch you.

It’s been weeks since you’ve seen him, and you spent all day yesterday cuddled with him on the couch, talking about your time apart. Clothes on, mostly. Tonight he’s all yours in a completely different way. You told him you’d take care of him, help him unwind, and that’s exactly what you’re doing—you push him deep into your mouth until he hits the back of your throat. You gag on him, and he gives you a deep, drawn out groan.

He whispers something, and you see the shadow of a smile spread across his lips. His legs part a little more as you lower yourself further onto the bed, and one hand kneads gently into his sensitive thigh. You kiss him there and move your mouth closer to his hole—tight and pink and pretty like the rest of him. You’ve kept your hands off for a very long time, but whenever you get close like this (which is often, because you're down here a lot), you’re tempted more and more.

Before you make another move, though, you peek up at him. Seungmin is flat on his back and perfectly content with the slowness of your pace tonight. His soft little moans have you soaked, and it’s just a matter of time before he pleads for you to take a seat on his face.

The worst he can do now is say no, but something tells you he won’t. Something about everything the two of you have done in your short time together—though it’s been nearly a year of sharing this bed—makes you think your Minnie is open to anything you do that makes him feel good, and anything that makes you happy. He has been so far.

You push his thigh open more, stretch him out and, a little hesitantly, swipe your tongue across him. He tightens up, but there’s no sound of disapproval—no hand coming down to grab at you. Just a sweet, melodic moan.

Another sloppy, wet lick…slower, harder. You wrap your hand around him and stroke slowly. He whispers a fuck…baby just loud enough to hear, and then he’s quiet again. You wet your fingertip. The rest of your attention returns to his cock while your finger is left to explore with, luckily, no protest.

“Minnie…” You say softly, lips pressed into his thigh, “pup?”

”Hmmmm?” He lets it out in a long, breathy moan that sends a chill up your body.

“Remember, a long time ago, I told you that you could give me boundaries?”

“I do,” he giggles and bends his knees, spreading himself open even more. “Mhm, I remember.”

“Good”

You take the invitation and put your mouth on him again, push your tongue in a little deeper.

“You’re such a tease,” he says, and looks down at you, but his face softens and he licks his lips when you—very slowly—push your middle finger in, just to the first knuckle.

“…a big tease, actually.”

You move it in quick, gentle circles as it’s pushed in further. Seungmin closes his eyes and smiles, and you need to give him more, so you suck him to the back of your throat and push your finger in completely. In and out. Up and down. He clenches around you and whines when you take your mouth off of him

“Is this a new feeling, Min?” You’re on your knees, stroking, gently fucking him with one finger. It doesn’t seem like much, and you can’t assume he’s never experimented with himself before—he’s so tight around you, though, you might have trouble with a second finger.

Mhm…he nods.

You feel him push down into your touch.

“Does it feel good?” You stretch him a little more, bend down to wet him again with your tongue.

“Very…good,” it comes out on his exhale and turns into moan, “yeah it’s good.” A roll of his hips stretches him even more around your knuckle. “More.”

It took him some effort to get his voice to stop shaking, so his request comes out husky and serious. You desperately wish the the lube was within reach, but you weren’t expecting this tonight. Instead you let a mouthful of spit fall onto him, pull out, then gently push a second in.

A quiet string of fuck fuck fuck follows.

“Is it too much, pup?” Very slowly, you pull back out.

“Maybe…sorry.”

“Minnie baby, you’re doing so good.” A few kisses on his stomach gets another giggle out of him. “I shouldn’t be doing this without some help anyway.”

Seungmin drops his legs when you crawl to his side and dig in the drawer next to the bed.

“But we don’t have to do anymore if you don’t want to.”

“No I want to,” he reaches a hand out and grabs your thigh. You can see him better from here; his bottom lip is a deep red from biting and licking it, cheeks are flushed, the hair around his temples is damp with sweat. “I…uhm,” he smiles shyly and rubs his face with his other hand.

Just looking down at him from here—at his sweet, innocent face, makes you want to try again. Nothing gets you off like making him scream with pleasure.

“Yes, sweetie?”

Then he smiles wider. His eyes sparkle in the dark. “I like the tongue.”

“Mmm, you want my tongue, yeah?”

Seungmin nods, cups his cheek. He hooks his fingers around your underwear and tugs playfully. Mhm.

You pull out the bottle of lube you were looking for and crawl back down between his legs, "you like it when I lick your tight little asshole?”

He laughs, “yes, I like it...I like it.”

“Good…get on your knees.”

#need to reblog because there’s another ksm fic floating around with basically the same title #uuuhhh #kim seungmin x reader #skz seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fanfic #kim seungmin smut #skz kim seungmin #seungmin skz #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #skz x reader #skz fanfic

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seungmoonandstars · 1 month

Text

𝓌𝒾𝓈𝒽 𝐼 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓁𝒹

────────────────────✦

Kim Seungmin/noona reader

wc: 5.9k

rating: angst/mature/18+ ಇ (idiots trying to get to lovers/mutual pining)

contains: drinking/drunkiness, implied mental illness, medication mention, weight mention

comments: Part two of this noona fic request. Not sure how much interest there is in this (there's more, because I love writing it and I needed some angst), but let me know if you guys like it!

songs to listen to while reading: orion sun - intro // chloe george - when does it get good

──────────────────♡──✦

Seungmin feels around in the dark, and he knows at any moment, he’s going to trip. The layout of your apartment is still foreign to him, but he likes it here, and he wants to get used to being here. It’s a welcome change from the dorm—there it's usually a mess. It smells, it tends to get loud at the worst moments, and the worst part of all is that you’re not there. Ever.

He’s a bit embarrassed of the place, even though his room is usually clean and ready for company. It’s better here, though. It’s always quiet, and warm, and it smells like vanilla and coffee, even now, in the middle of the night.

As much as he wanted to keep things between the two of you, for now, it did not work. Seungmin came home very late the night after he confessed (and you confessed), so it was easy for everyone to figure out. Still, though, he hasn’t talked much about it in the three days since. And now, somehow, he’s ended up at your apartment, and it’s well past midnight.

You fell asleep on the couch watching a movie, tucked against his side, and he shook you awake eventually.

“Time to get to bed, yeah?” He said, and he gave you a few more minutes to collect yourself before helping you up. Then he guided you into the bedroom, but he just stood there at the door for a moment, watching, waiting until you turned to him and smiled.

“Goodnight”

“You’re leaving?” You check the time on your phone. It's late.

“Yeah, I should go,” his heartbeat picks up a little as he casually looks around your room. This is his first time seeing it., and Seungmin thinks to himself how very you it is—the colors, the mix of adult and not-so-adult, pages from magazines and photobooks pinned to a corkboard next to very important looking things. He sees his face pinned there as well; a closeup of him, ripped neatly from the Noeasy photobook. No, two photos of him...three.

“Okay. You don’t have to, but…” you think, look around, look back at him, “text me when you get home, okay?”

“I will”

He clicks the hall light off as he makes his way toward the door, and with the glow of the tv gone, it’s suddenly very, very dark. The light of his phone helps, but he hits his foot on the coffee table, of course, and then he finally grabs his bag. Luckily it takes him a few extra minutes to fight into his shoes, because a text comes through just as he goes for the door.

don’t leave yet

Seungmin looks toward your bedroom door and waits. One, two, three seconds. It swings open, and you leave it there so the light pours out and illuminates him.

“Did I forget something?”

You stop in front of him and nod, “I did,” and grab the front of his shirt to pull him down. You kiss, and he kisses right back. And then you let go. “Can I ask what’s in your backpack?”

“Huh? My…oh my bag. Just my usual stuff, uhm, it’s silly. Sometimes I feel like I’ll be pulled away when I have no time to pack, so I always carry something with me.”

“So that's your overnight bag?”

“I guess. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea...if it’s the wrong idea. I wasn’t expecting something to happen, I promise.”

“Seungmin, it’s okay. I just came out to kiss you goodnight, not question your motives.” You pull him to you again and kiss. “And you’re welcome to spend the night—on the couch, or in my bed. Preferably in my bed. But wherever you’re comfortable.”

His laugh is so nervous, and he hates it, “maybe next time?”

“Of course. I’m leaving for a while tomorrow, but I’ll let you know when I get home.”

“Will you be gone long?”

“No, a week at the most”

“A week. Okay, that’s not bad. If I’m home when you get back., we can do something.”

“Right, you might not be here”

You stare at each other silently, maybe hoping to read each other’s mind. You might not see him for a while and that was hard enough when you were just friends, pining endlessly. Now you’ve touched him and kissed him, and you need more time to do those things.

“I might be, though”

“Goodnight, Minnie”

This time he kisses you himself.

─ ⋅⋅ ─

“I’m not surprised…but at the same time I’m a little surprised,” Felix scratches his head. He’s watching Seungmin cross the kitchen to fill his glass with water.

He doesn’t notice everyone staring at him until he turns toward the coffee maker. “What?”

“Surprised why?” Minho cups his chin in his hand and smiles at both of them.

“How was your date last night, kid?”

"Date?" Minho jumps and grins at Seungmin.

“We just watched a movie, it was good. She’s leaving today so I won’t see her for a while.”

“Oh no, that’s no good. So—“

“What are you surprised about?!” Minho slap his palm on the table, “Yongbok!”

“I’m getting there!”

“You’ve never been to her place before, right? What brought that on…a movie at her apartment?”

Seungmin is making his coffee, patiently, and looking at his roommate as he takes his time getting to the point. But Felix waits as he makes his way to the table with them to press on.

“You never really told us what happened the other night. You two just disappeared.”

“Oh, we went to her place, so we could be alone…”

The three of them OH in unison, because Jeongin turns the corner just in time. Minho is still confused, and nobody seems to want to elaborate for him. All four of them here at the same doesn’t happen often, so Seungmin is feeling a little crowded

“…to talk.”

“Ooh,” Jeongin smiles, “and? Did you talk last night, too?”

“Not much, no”

Their eyes grow as they wait for more, but now Seungmin is having too much fun stringing them a long.

“Please continue”

“There’s nothing else,” he shrugs, “we drank a little, watched a movie, we both dozed off for a while, I think…no,” Seungmin throws a hand up when Felix' mouth turns up into a smirk. “It was a long movie, nothing else happened.”

“Did you kiss?” Jeongin leans closer and whispers, “you kissed, yeah?”

Seungmin can’t help but smile when he asks. He can feel his face grow warm just thinking about it. Last night, and then your first kiss. That one got much heavier than he expected, and he loved every second—the touching, your tongue, your fingers running through his hair. He doesn’t want to wait a week for more, but he’s not going to chase after you now. He has to be patient, again.

“You should have spent the night"

─ ⋅⋅ ─

You sit across from each other in the cafeteria, just like you’ve done a dozen times before. It’s not busy, not even at lunchtime, but looking up at him for too long is making your heart race. It’s not that you’re afraid someone will walk by and read your mind (but if they did, they might be disgusted), it just feels different being with him in public now.

It feels like you’re both doing something a little bit wrong.

Seungmin is a young idol, and he’s sweet and kind and innocent, as far as everyone knows. You’ve already seen his unfiltered self, and it’s better than any act he’s had to put on. But he is still sweet and kind and…you assume a little innocent. You’ve never talked about your sex lives, ever.

You look up at him and lock eyes. He smiles, and you can’t help but start undressing him. Yes, you’ve touched him, finally. His thigh—he let you run your hand from his knee and up you went until you knew it was time to stop—his neck, his shoulder, his face…but there’s still so much of him to touch and see. The part of your mind that you can't keep quiet is afraid there won't be many more oppurtunities.

You have to close your eyes and relax.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m okay, just thinking. Over-thinking.”

He smiles again, and you start to wonder if he’s doing it because he’s nervous.

“About us?”

Us? That’s a much bigger word than it was a few days ago. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Good things?”

Good things, yes. As long as you stay focused, there's nothing to think about when it comes to him except for good things. “Yeah, of course.”

“How is your lunch? Spicy enough?”

“Is my face red?”

“A little, yes”

“No spice today, so it’s you doing that.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

What if he stays too late tonight, again? He doesn’t want to run off at the first mention of spending the night, because he wants to stay here with you. There was no expectation of it when you asked last time, he assumes, because he can sleep wherever he wants; he can do whatever he wants. And you wouldn’t pressure him anyway. He knows you better than that.

He knows nothing about your sex life, though. And almost nothing about your dating life.

Seungmin doesn’t really know much about either of those things when it comes to himself, actually. There was never much time to date, or it was low on the list. And having sex without at least dating someone doesn’t sit well with him.

But he has been on dates, and he has kissed, and touched, and he’s been touched right back. But that’s all. No sex—that blowjob didn’t count—it was awkward, and it wasn’t very good. And as hard as he tries, he can't forget his first time trying to find a clit.

“Do you want a drink?” You shake his arm until he finally seems to hear you, “drink…beer, coke, coffee?”

“Soju?”

“I have strawberry and peach”

“Strawberry somaek?”

You disappear into the fridge and dig around, and Seungmin watches carefully when you bend forward. He’s always admired your body, though it never had much to do with him liking you the way he did. But now, he feels like it’s okay to appreciate it more. You’re shorter than him, and curvier (which doesn’t take much, seeing as how Seungmin is basically a straight line). Your ass and thighs are an eyeful for him, though.

Everything looks soft. Everything is soft, because he did sneak his hand there that first night. He squeezed his fingers right above your knee, then moved up ever so slightly to get some thigh. He didn’t dare go any further, though.

The touching you did the second time was much more innocent—holding hands, fingers laced together, your head against his shoulder as you fell asleep. He looked you over carefully, but kept his hands to himself, only daring to run a thumb over your wrist as you dozed off.

“Would you like to pour, or do you trust me?”

Seungmin snaps out of it. He’s pretty sure you caught him staring. “I trust you.”

“Can you grab the glasses for me?”

He does, and he follows you back to the living room and makes himself comfortable at the coffee table. And now that he’s started, he can’t take his eyes off of you as you move.

“That’s…oh okay we have different pours,” Seungmin eyes the glass, but you pull it toward yourself. “That’s much more soju than I usually do.”

You pour his now, but only fill the glass a third of the way before topping it off with the beer.

“I thought maybe you were trying to soften me up.” His breath catches in his chest when he says it, because it sounded much more stupid than it did in his head.

“No, trying to soften myself up, actually.”

“Why? You can’t get drunk without me,” the frown he gives you is over the top and very cute. “I don’t want you to fall asleep too early.”

“I’ll be careful”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

Seungmin feels good after two glasses. It’s not much, but he hasn’t eaten recently, and he’s pretty certain his second drink was identical to yours.

You’re halfway through your third.

“These are too easy to drink.” You sit at the table with a dish of mandu and dakgangjeong. “And I’m guessing you’re hungry.”

“I usually am.” He leans forward and smells the chicken, “did you make all this.

You shake your head, “I’m not the best at cooking. I wish I had more time to practice.”

“That’s okay. Thank you for feeding me, and getting me tipsy.” He grabs a piece of chicken and pops it in his mouth. And then a dumpling. And then finishes off his third somaek.

“You can’t be tipsy yet”

“I will be if I have another”

Seungmin does have another. And the for his next drink, he switches to straight beer—but he’s drunk. He picks up his chopsticks and grabs for a dumpling, but it slips off and bounces onto the table.

Both of you just stare at for a long moment. And then Seungmin giggles as he tries again. This time it makes it to his mouth.

“Where you going?”

He’s slowly getting to his feet, and he stands for a minutes to get his head straight.

“Bathroom”

“Good idea”

“Are you joining me?”

You stop halfway onto your feet and look up at him, his hand is outstretched like he’s welcoming the company, “ah…you first.”

It’s very obvious he had a bit too much. And you did, too, but you’re working hard to keep yourself together. When you walk back out from the bathroom, Seungmin is standing up, staring at the tv, and the rest of the chicken is making its way into his mouth. He looks comfortable and satisfied—drunk, yes…but happy.

It makes you warm up even more, and you can’t remember the last time you felt so good.

“Hey”

“Hi…hello, do you feel better? Do you want the last few pieces?” He holds some out to you, but it disappears into his mouth as soon as you shake your head. “We should sober up.”

Yes, you should. You sit on the couch and curl yourself up into a ball, but when he sits next to you, your limbs develop a mind of their own. Before you can stop yourself, you slide your arms around his waist and hold yourself tight against him. Your leg drapes over his lap, and you’re practically straddling his thighs. He takes it in stride, though. Seungmin holds you right back and takes the opportunity to slide a hand across your hip, and when he squeezes, you jump.

“Sorry”

“Mm mm, no…it’s good. Feels good.”

“It does?”

“Yeah, you’re so warm”

“I think that’s the alcohol”

“Maybe…maybe, but you always—“ you stop and start to giggle, and you shove your face into his shirt to try to stifle yourself.

“Always what?”

You shake your head against him, push harder against his chest, take in his scent…feel yourself becoming even more drunk. “Nothing.”

His hand slides back up and settles on your hip, “always something good, hopefully.”

“Sorry, my head is swimming.”

“Mine too”

“I was hoping the alcohol would help, but you’re making me so nervous.”

“You’re nervous? I’m making you nervous?”

“Yeah, maybe telling you will make it go away."

“I’m also nervous. I wasn’t the last time I was here…so maybe the drinks are working against us.”

You force yourself to look up at him, and he looks down at you with big, heavy eyes. Your gaze drops and takes in every bit of him—his cheeks, his nose, his lips…his lips. He wets them and a smile pulls at his mouth, and you desperately want him to lean down closer to you. Every part of you is screaming for him, but you’re still frozen.

He’s frozen, too. The booze just made both of you stupid.

“Seungmin?” You’ve never, not even as a teenager, felt so stupidly in love with someone.

“Yeah?”

The longer you watch him, the closer he seems to get, and you see every little detail, every little spot, every little perfect blemish and pore on his skin.

“Kiss me before I explode”

His lips press into yours and his fingers squeeze so hard again. You want him to hold you tighter still, and you need to be closer. He does. Seungmin moves you until you’re on his lap, and he devours you. He’s all tongue, and it’s wet and messy, not like his previous kisses, but it’s so good tasting him, and tasting the entire night on him.

Then he stops suddenly to catch his breath, but he stays there and bites down lightly on your bottom lip. Your eyes open, and he’s right there, staring. He pulls back, looks at the space between your thighs, and there’s not much there. If you let yourself relax a little more, you’d feel his dick growing in his sweatpants.

But you can see it. You’re no longer frozen, so you shake the thought of what’s between his legs out of your head, for now. Both of you are way too fucked up for the first time. What you do need to do is kiss him again, so you take over, squeeze his shoulders and hold him steady while you lick across his parted lips. Seungmin opens up for you and he moans into the kiss—moans right down your throat.

You shake your head, “we should stop until we’re, um…I don’t wanna do this drunk.”

“I don’t either,” he keeps kissing, but slows down and softens his touch. His hands move to your waist, and then your back, where they stay.

“But don’t leave tonight”

“I won’t”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

Seungmin watches you from his side of your bed. He did fall asleep for a while, but he woke from a dream and forgot for a few moments where he was. His racing heart beat against the mattress as he looked toward you, facing away from him, shirt pulled halfway up your back. You kicked the covers off in your sleep—probably too warm from sobering up, but so deeply asleep. Still, he reaches out and runs two fingers down the skin that’s peeking out.

You move ever so slightly, and mumble something. He looks at the time: just after 4am. You’ve been asleep for about three hours, because both of you were out as soon as you hit the bed.

But Seungmin feels better. Less drunk, at least. His head aches a little, but not enough to bother him. He reaches out again, but this time he pulls at your shirt until you’re covered.

“Minnie”

“I’m up, you feel okay?”

You mumble again, and groan, but you don’t answer.

“Minnie…hmmm, don’t leave”

“Hey,” he crawls closer and runs a hand down your arm, “hey, oh you’re still asleep.”

You wake up when you feel his lips on your shoulder. “Min?”

“Are you up or talking in your sleep?”

“I’m up…oh no, what did I say?” You turn onto your back and grab his hand. “I don’t do that all the time.”

“Just my name”

“Oh”

“And you told me not to leave,” he squeezes your hand and searches for the soberness in your eyes, “I’m still here.”

“Sorry, I don’t usually speak so clearly”

The sleep-talking doesn’t phase him. In fact, the quietness of the room is a welcome change to his typical nights. The whole night, drunk as you both were, was quiet and calm. “Were you thinking about me in your sleep?”

“I must have been,” you move his hair away from his eyes, and now you’re searching for any leftover drunkenness. He seems wide awake and sober.

“It’s 4 in the morning, if you’re still tired…we can go back to sleep.” That’s not what he wants, but he also wants what you want. Seungmin figured you’d get into bed and both of you would sleep soundly until morning. But he woke up.

“No, I feel good. And you look good.”

The truth is, you are very tired. If you close your eyes right now, you have no doubt that you would fall back to sleep almost immediately. Instead you rip off the rest of the blanket and sit up.

“Where are you going?”

He watches you stand slowly, carefully, just in case. But your legs work just fine. Maybe Seungmin can change that. The thought sends a little wave a pleasure through you, and you smile when you turn to look at him, “bathroom.”

That is what you do, but you dig through the drawer under the sink as well. You didnt prepare properly, because you didn’t double check to see if you still had condoms, and if they were still good.

“Oh good,” you grab the half used pack and look closely at the date stamped on the bottom, "lucky.” But you make the mistake of looking at yourself in the mirror, and your reflection feels like it's a mile away. Your eyes blur, and the room spins for a moment.

A perfectly timed knock on the door makes you jump, and the box slips from your hand.

“Are you okay? I gotta go, too.”

“Yeah, Minnie, I’m coming,” you pick them up and palm them as you head for the door, “sorry, go ahead.”

Seungmin whistles as he returns and quietly shuts the door, “so are you…out?” He holds up the empty box and shakes it. “You left the drawer open.”

“Oh, no no,” you grab the condoms from your bedside table and show them to him, “we have two.”

He pulls one from your fingers and examines it for a moment, “I don’t think these will fit.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

It’s stupid, and it’s reckless, and you know it. But it’s not going to stop you. From the moment he said the condoms—the only condoms either of you had, wouldn’t work, you tossed it back onto the table, looked up at him, “okay,” and grabbed the waistband of his sweatpants until he was right in your face.

“Okay” He sets his down, too. “Are you…” he groans when you find a good spot on his stomach, and he laughs when you graze your lips across his skin.

Every time you get back to his belly button, you tug a little more. His sweatpants start to tent, and you’re starting to feel exactly how much he wouldn’t fit into those condoms. One more tug, and you can see him—the stiff base of his cock, held still by the grip of your fingers.

He’s so hot against the fabric, and a wet spot of pre-cum starts to come through as you stroke him.

“I’m not surprised you like to tease,” he smiles down at you, but he’s blushing…everywhere. His cheeks, his ears, his neck. When he pulls his shirt over his head, he’s flushed all the way down to where your lips are.

Seungmin is just as lean under all those clothes as you imagined, and his shoulders…

“Turn around”

“Huh…turn?”

You stand and grab his hips, “yeah, turn around for me.”

He listens and peeks back at you the best he can—until your hands move from his hips, slowly upward, touching every bit of skin you can—across his shoulder blades, back down his spine.

The sigh he lets out is so content and relaxed, it actually puts you more at ease. He laughs sweetly when your lips touch him. “I like your teasing.”

Seungmin turns back to face you, and your fingers slide across him as he moves.

“Just admiring you." Yes, you are admiring him. Touching him, finally, is doing more for you than anything else possibly could. But every step forward now is taking all of your energy.

“Admiring? Me?” He cups your cheek and lifts until you’re looking at him, then pulls you close.

It’s sweet and it’s perfect, and you melt into him, but now you’re so distracted by his dick pressing against you. You push your hips in until he groans, slide your hands under his waistband.

Seungmin grabs back, and squeezes your ass. “Let me see you.” He pulls your shirt up and over your head before you can react, but you fold your arms over yourself before pressing back into him.

“Ah…I’m sorry, too fast?” His hands keep you against him. He holds so tight, you couldn’t escape even if you wanted to. “I should have let you do that.”

“No, I just—“

“I didn’t think you’d be shy”

A shiver runs through you when his hands move down your back, then back up.

“How about we…” he scoots closer to the lamp, keeping hold of you, and clicks it off. “Is that better?”

“Maybe,” you laugh, but it’s hesitant, a little edgy. “You’re too perfect, Minnie and…ah, I don’t know what's going on, I’m nothing special.”

“No, you're very special. What’s the matter?”

You relax a a little in his arms.

“I’m not perfect, not even close. You haven’t seen me after rolling out of bed at noon, or grumpy when my mouth hurts after getting these things tightened.”

You whine his name. You’re ruining the moment. Him comforting your sudden stupid thoughts and doubts—he’s probably already getting soft. “I’m sorry, I’m making a mess of everything. I'm not sure what happened.”

“Mm, no…you haven’t made a mess of anything.” Seungmin grabs your shirt from the edge of the bed and slips it back on you, “it's okay, we can get back under the covers if you’d like.”

─ ⋅⋅ ─

“Give me your hand”

Seungmin holds it up to you, then sets it in yours.

Back under the covers is where you end up, and you really do feel like a tease now. Poor Seungmin—his dick doesn’t know what’s going to happen next, but right now, you know he’s definitely not hard. You've ruined that.

“You think I’m perfect…can I think you’re perfect?” he lets go of your hand and runs his up your arm.

“No, I’m a mess. My skin, my hair is a mess. I’m getting chubby because I never watch what I eat. I don’t know why you’re here.”

“Because I want to be here. Because you brought me here and made me feel like I was yours."

“I was so high off of your words before. I thought I was dreaming when we were talking after dance practice.”

Seungmin moves closer, and now you’re sharing a pillow, and you breathe in every sigh he breathes out. His hand is moving so slowly over you, and he’s being so patient as it finds the curve of your hip and slides under the bottom of your shirt. “You’re not a mess.” He’s touching you and kneading his fingers into your side. Into your back. He works his way up and drags his fingertips up to your throat. “And they weren’t just words.”

How could you possibly deny him, looking at you like this? You shouldn’t, but your brain is telling you it will never work; it’s a waste of time. He’s going to really see you, and change his mind—he’ll find out how bad you are at this, and how emotional and unbearable you get when you do. It’s too much for him.

Still, his touch is as soft as his eyes, and he moves even closer until his leg can slide over yours.

“No, I don’t deserve you”

He isn’t sure how to reply to that, so he just stares. Maybe he’s waiting for you to crack a smile, or laugh it off, but you don’t. “Why would you say that?”

“You can do so much better than me, I promise.” You get as far as sitting yourself up, and your head pounds against your eyes. The alcohol is catching up to you and turning into a hangover already. “I shouldn’t have let it get this far, I’ve been stupid.”

“What are you saying?” Seungmin grabs your arm as you shift to get out of bed. His head is pounding now, too, because he's trying to figure out what went wrong and where he fucked up. “I can go if that’s really what you want, but give me a minute.”

You struggle with a response. You don’t want him to leave, but he should. And if he does, it might be the end of something that didn’t even begin. “A minute…for what?”

“To say something”

“Right, I’m sorry”

“I meant everything I said before, even if I didn’t say much. But you knew what I was thinking.” He lets go of your arm, because you seem to have relaxed. You’ve settled back in your spot, under the covers, back against the pillows. “I want you, and you want me…I think. And I need you around, I know that much. If I leave, will we go back to how we were before?”

There’s a long silence. You’re not sure if he wants an answer to that, but you don’t want to think too hard about it. Maybe, eventually, the memory of this can pass and you can be friends again.

“I don't want to go back to that. Not after this,” he answers himself. “So…”

Seungmin throws the covers off of himself, puts his feet on the cold floor, and then waits a few seconds before standing. It takes a moment to find his shirt, but he does and throws it on, and the entire time you watch him so intensely. But you stay quiet.

He knows you’re watching, and he takes his time, hoping you’ll stop him as he goes for the door. But you don’t.

And he anxiously waits for his phone to buzz after he grabs it from the coffee table. The empty bottles and glasses—the mess from the food scattered everywhere—Seungmin stares at it, waiting for a text that won’t come, and he decides he won’t leave yet. Instead he starts to clean.

─ ⋅⋅ ─

You’re stuck in your spot on the bed, phone now in hand, and you stare at the messages you’ve shared over the last week—to prove yourself wrong, maybe. Or just to make yourself feel worse. You couldn’t possibly feel any worse right now, though. Seungmin is still here; his scent lingers, and the feeling of his touch. But he left. You kicked him out, and deep down, you know you don’t want to subject him to whatever the future might hold. This isn’t possible, and thinking it could be was both of you just being struck dumb with lust. And maybe love.

You’ll be back tomorrow morning, right? I get my days mixed up sometimes, especially when I’m home for a while. Do you get like that? Maybe my memory is going already, haha I’ll be around if you’re free, so I hope you are. I can’t wait to see you again.

Seungmin is a good texter. He’s thoughtful and sincere, and he seems to choose his words carefully, as if he’s speaking to you face to face. That, or he just closes his eyes and types everything he feels. That wouldn’t surprise you.

I hope texting you so soon isn’t weird. No, it’s you! It’s not weird, or if it is that makes it normal for us. I hope you feel as good as I do. Good night ♥️

You pull the covers up to your chin and try to get comfortable. But you can’t take your eyes off the string of messages.

I practiced your song today! It might take a little more work to get it to sound good with my vocals. Maybe I need your input. But I’d rather surprise you!

He’s probably been working on it all week, and here you almost forgot about it. Before he sent this text, you didn’t know if he was serious, or it was just his opening line.

The sound of glasses clinking together echoes into the bedroom, and your heart pounds wildly. Then the pounding in your head starts up again, and for some reason you choose now to start crying. The tears start to brim, and you try desperately to keep them from going any further.

The sound of water running gets you out of bed fast, and you walk slowly to the bedroom door. You can see the kitchen light on through the crack, and the shadow of movement is there, too. His backpack is untouched at the end of the couch, and when you walk out to the hallway, you see his shoes next to yours. He’s washing the dishes and cleaning up the mess the two of you made.

“Seungmin”

He jumps and almost drops the glass.

“What are you doing?”

“Uh,” he sighs, “I didn’t want you to have to clean all this up in the morning. I’m sorry, I’m done.” He grabs his backpack and heads for the door. “Get some sleep before the sun comes up.”

One shoe is on, the other is halfway there as he stares at you. “Are you crying?”

You wipe at your cheek and feel what you couldn’t hold back.

Seungmin kicks his shoes off again and hesitates for a moment, but eventually, when you don’t speak, he closes the space between you. “You’re crying,” he takes your cheeks in his hands. “Please…if you won’t talk to me now, please call me tomorrow. Or text, I don’t care. Tell me you still feel the same as you do right now, and I’ll leave you alone.”

“Stop it,” you squeeze your eyes shut and feel more tears escape. Seungmin’s warm embrace, his arms holding tight around your shoulders, it makes everything else fall away.

“Stop what?”

“Being so good, and patient, and calm. You should’ve run off by now”

“Why are you so hard on yourself? You think you should be punished for…yes, I remember you saying that…for what? I know you want this.”

All you can manage is a mumble against his chest.

He relaxes his arms and grips your waist, “what did you say?”

“I do”

“Want this? Or think you should be punished?”

More silence from you, but he waits.

“I’ll leave. And I hope I hear from you tomorrow.”

He lets go, and manages to get into his shoes before you say his name. As fed up as he should be hearing his name again, he’s not. Seungmin looks at you with hopeful, tired eyes.

“Yeah?” He watches you closely, tilts his head to the side. You can see his eyes moving up and down over your body, "tell me I can stay.”

Your legs shake and your head swims. The ache behind your eyes is growing worse and worse, but looking at him makes it bearable, somehow. Even now, he’s ready to run to you as soon as you say go. But you can’t figure out why.

Seungmin is still who he is, and you’re who you are, and you don’t really belong together. Someone will find out and put a stop to it. But what if things slowly start to connect; fall into place; work out for a while? Forever? No, that doesn't sound right. Loving him before was easy, because you assumed it would always be one-sided and simple; no worries about making something work, or about working toward something. Now this is real, and it's a little bit scary looking at him and realizing how much you want him, and how big this could get.

"Say something," he sighs, and it sounds nowhere near as irritated as it should.

Your gaze drops to your feet, defeated—it moves toward his, and again, he’s taking off his shoes. Seungmin stands there and faces you.

“Okay...okay."

─ ⋅♡⋅ ─

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