sexylexcie

[sexylexcie]

You can't change someone who isn't willing to change. Whether it is someone you love, a parent, a friend, a coworker. People change when they are ready to, sometimes no amount of love can speed that process along and that's not on you. You can be there for someone without giving everything you have in the hopes that they change. It's hard to draw the line, especially if you have known them for a long time or are in some way forced to be in proximity to them. Just please don't draw their inability to change upon yourself. It's not your fault that you love people who aren't ready to be loved. It's not your fault that you love peopel who don't have the space to appreciate you. Don't let it close your heart up, because the ability to love is beautiful.

[sexylexcie]

I don’t like the vibes over here. Going to my secret Tumblr account.

[sexylexcie]

I legit LOVE my room freshly cleaned. It’s HEAVEN in there.

a clean room, some fresh sheets, a hot shower, coconut oil, and some scented candles

[sexylexcie]

you know, what’s so crazy, is that the reason I didn’t know what was happening is because even with all the abuse I’d dealt with from men, I’d never been TRICKED. I’ve always dealt with genuine men. and now I’m here thinking every man is flagrant and faking it. after ONE man. girl. Get it together. You got hurt once. lmao GET A GRIP.

[sexylexcie]

boundaries Sab. BOUNDARIES. don’t let nobody breadcrumb you baby. been there done that.

[sexylexcie]

the difference between the counterfeit and what God sent is IN THE DETAILS.

WHEW!! what a bar!

[sexylexcie]

[sexylexcie]

If nobody ever explained this to you, if someone you see a lot does something you like and you never ever tell them that, they might think you don’t like them or don’t like the things they do for you.

[sexylexcie]

Sometimes I feel like I'm too old to still be unpacking my trauma and then I remember that

1. 30s isn't that old

2. If I don't do it now, I'll still be doing it at 50

3. My parents didn't even start processing their own trauma until 65+ so I'm winning here

[sexylexcie]

My dad and I once had a disagreement over him using the adage "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

I said, "That's just not true. Sometimes what doesn't kill you leaves you brittle and injured or traumatized."

He stopped and thought about that for a while. He came back later, and said, "It's like wood glue."

He pointed to my bookshelf, which he helped me salvage a while ago. He said, "Do you remember how I explained that, once we used the wood glue on them, the shelves would actually be stronger than they were before they broke?"

I did.

"But before we used the wood glue, those shelves were broken. They couldn't hold up shit. If you had put books on them, they would have collapsed. And that wood glue had to set awhile. If we put anything on them too early, they would have collapsed just the same as if we'd never fixed them at all. You've got to give these things time to set."

It sounded like a pretty good metaphor to me, but one thing I did pick up on was that whatever broke those shelves, that's not the thing that made them stronger. That just broke them. It was being fixed that made them stronger. It was the glue.

So my dad and I agreed, what doesn't kill you doesn't actually make you stronger, but healing does. And if you feel like healing hasn't made you stronger than you were before, you're probably not done healing. You've got to give these things time to set.

[sexylexcie]

lol I be letting my car warm up now. 😂😂

[sexylexcie]

no one talks about the loneliness that comes with hard boundaries.

[sexylexcie]

this is YUCK. don’t be this girl.

but also, I’ll never have anyone else in my whole life, AFFECTIONATELY refer to me as their “lil vidalia”. and that makes me sad.

[sexylexcie]

[sexylexcie]

a man that don’t take care of his kids might as well be dead. THATS in the Bible.

[sexylexcie]

[sexylexcie]

but also, I’ll never have anyone else in my whole life, AFFECTIONATELY refer to me as their “lil vidalia”. and that makes me sad.