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I feel my organs convulsing.

I don't like hurting myself, I don't like knives.

I don't like ANY of this.

I can't get my mind off of wanting to do bad things to myself, to post all of the damage I've inflicted on my skin online for attention and sympathy, but.. that's not going to make any better, now is it?

People are going to see things they don't want to see. Children might see it and get scared. My mom might notice what's wrong with me and decide to send me to a hospital. And people on tumblr will see all of these concerning messages, get concerned about my mental state or brush over me, AND I would not be able to be online anymore.

But that wouldn't matter if I left because I've already caused something terrible and mentally scarred these hypothetical people.. and I don't want to terrify people or make them feel like they need to comfort me, and I don't want anyone tof eel bad about me. i'm scared. I don't know what to do, and I don't want to hurt myself to fix that. That's not a good coping mechanism, and I know it.

Please. I need someone to tell me that this is too long to read. I NEED someone to snap me out of this mental state, and I NEED to get out of this mess. I've already spiraled down enough.. but i haven't hit rock bottom yet! I want to get better, I want to stop myself from rooting my body to my bed and rotting all day, I want to work on myself to be a functioning human being but I CAN'T.

Please get me out of this. Please get me out of this. There's too many things going on. There are too many second thoughts and too many dead-ends. I can't help myself. I can't do anything by myself

Please, I NEED someone to slap me awake and tell me to grow a pair. I need to be out of this delusional state.

I just want everything to be okay.

Tldr: Mentally ill teenager cries about how things in life are BAD and how they need to get better but CAN'T because they don't know how to work on themselves and feel trapped... Anyway, here's a wip of a jester oc I have as a quick click-grab for ya!! I love clowns, man.. I really do.

They're going to be popping out of a wind-up box, and it's going to be coolio.

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Lightwork.

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Fat and ugly creature of greed.... yeeeugck!

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It's crumbling down into nothing.

Gartaning my BanBan.. yes sire..

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I love my characters!!!

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Dandy worled.

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Dawnlight doodle. Yeah.

Dawnlight was inspired by a bunch of characters.

He can rotate his body like the mayor in the nightmare before Christmas.. and Saradonyx(?) From Steven universe (heavy inspo)

The whole "silly sun character" vibe was based on the moon from Ruby Gloom AND Sally Starlight, but. The sun animatronic from five nights at Freddy's came into my head a few days AFTER finally coming up with the design.

This character is the literal sun. But the reason why he looks like this is because he wanted a form small enough to be able to interact with humans

He was based off of Caine from TADC, and I guess.. shadow milk cookie??? With his possessiveness of his friends and the power/manipulation he holds over them. (We'll get over that later)

He's BURNING hot to the touch and. Uhm. Obsessed with humans? He was also based on Ariel from the little mermaid with his obsession with collecting human items (but mostly clothes) and also the fact that he gave up something important to become humanoid to an extent... even though he could turn into literally anything and just chose that thing because he managed to spot some kid drawing their oc in middleschool and-

He was also based on pink diamond/rose quartz

Yeah.

That's enough of me "Yapping" as the (some) people say. I just really, really like this character and all of his little friends.

Yeah.. but anyw4y. Dawnlight is a simple character with a silly design. But even so, I love him for it......

ALSO, HIS VOICE HC IS MR. MUNCHIES FROM THE CHUCK. E. CHEESE FRANCHISE (and Cosmo from the fairly odd parents pilot series.. and Businessman Ena) BECAUSE HE WAS ALSO BASED OFF OF SOME OF THE SONGS AND ACTUALLY THIS ENTIRE IDEA IN MY HEAD SPRUNG TO LIFE BECAUSE I LOVE CHUCK. E. CHEESE AND I STARTED TO DRAW THEM AS ONE-OFF DOODLE'S WHILE LISTENING TO ONE OF THE CHUCK. E. CHEESE SONGS (not comrade of clean... BUT i do imagine all of them singing it sometimes) BUT I LIKED THEM TOO MUCH, AND NOW I CAN'T GET RID OF THEM.

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Yes.

Dawnlight and unnamed moon character.

Dawnlight is a male. He just... likes dressing up as a woman. He's not Trans, though.

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.....

Work in progress.

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Matcha Cookie. They could never make me hate you, my queen.. (I've been a fan since ovenbreak/Cookiewars.)

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Fuck.

What the hell is this....

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It was created.

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I just ate a raw tomato in front of my friends and family.

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Im going insane.

ANYWAY. ENOUGH ABOUT MY ISSUES!! I HAVE DRAWINGS FOR YOU! AHAHAHAHA...

It's pretty much my characters , my Dandy's world oc, and tadc. Agahaha... yeah..

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I was low-key tweaking tf out earlier today, and I drew this shit but like it's fine now since it looks sick asf. So I'm posting it here.

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I'm starting to feel more empty today. I dunno why but I feel this little thing in my chest. Eating away at my flesh until it hollows out my entire body.

Yeeeeowch! I no no like it. Here's some doodles!

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Dandy's world au but I fucking hate everything and everyone in it.

It's called 'Dee Dee's woed'

It's misspelled purposely...