shadowedresolve

[shadowedresolve]

PSSST…….. I ended up making that p5x multimuse over at @desirebels - go check it out if you’re interested!

[shadowedresolve]

also, i can't find my zenkichi starter call so take a new one. muse for him is relatively high today, so if you're looking to write with him, now's a good chance!

[shadowedresolve]

Toshiro's expression softens at Futaba's words.

"Yeah. I'm sure you're right about that." In the end, that's what matters most. But while he's always felt the same way as Futaba about it, her nonchalant confidence that Erina is still guiding him is reassuring, reminding him it's not just something he tells himself to get by.

When the conversation turns to Eri, though, Toshiro finds a giddy excitement starting to rise up in his stomach again. He'd been hoping to tell the Phantom Thieves of their meeting, and this is the perfect chance to do it - though now that he's in the moment, it's actually a little embarrassing, somehow.

"And, as for Eri, well... we actually did meet up recently." he eventually confesses, trying to keep his words more casual than how he feels. In truth, though - he couldn't be happier.

Even after everything that happened in the Kingdoms, and with his newfound conviction and confidence there to revitalize his life... there had still been one thing missing when Toshiro found himself back in the real world. But now he has her back. Not to mention, it turned out that Eri had missed him just as much as he missed her... she hasn't been angry or upset with him at all, in the way he'd always feared.

"She's - doing well. Great, even! She's following her dream of becoming a journalist, and she's still got the same energetic soul she's always had... I'm sure it hasn't been easy for her, either. But I'm... really glad we ended up seeing each other again."

"Of course she is still watching over you." After all, she was his manifestation of rebellion ultimately, plus was the reason why he hadn't succumbed to the will of Salmael. "She is part of you, just as Necronomicon is part of me. I still feel her within me as well, guiding me and helping me every day. So I know for a fact that Erina is guiding you whether you realize it or not."

Erina seeing the outside world, as impossible as that would be in most circumstances, would be amusing to say the least. But there was Eri who was still around so it would be kind of redundant to say the least. But then again, if Erina and Eri were to meet up, one could only imagine the sort of chaos that would happen in that case.

In any case, she was chuckling internally at her own thoughts. "What about Eri? Is she doing alright still? Have you talked to her?" She had to wonder about that since she didn't know if the two had talked or not. "After everything that she went through according to your memories, I would hope things had gone better for her."

[shadowedresolve]

PSSST…….. I ended up making that p5x multimuse over at @desirebels - go check it out if you’re interested!

[shadowedresolve]

i'm also still unsure about if i should make a new blog for the p5x characters once the global release drops, or if i should just keep them here... specifically, i think if i did give them a blog, i'd be making a totally new account with a separate email, not a sideblog like i had before. i think that'd help me boost activity for both of them, while not feeling bad about constantly letting p5x characters take over this account, haha.

the only disadvantage i can think of is having to log in/log off and switching between the blogs would be a pain... but it might be worth it anyway, idk?? do you all have a preference??

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i don't know why i'm so attached to the p5x phantom thieves honestly, but i really do love them a lot... i'm specifically talking about the main story characters here, not the phantom idols (though I love a bunch of them too!) - there's just something about their dynamic which really appeals to me, though I couldn't tell you exactly what.

i might even prefer them overall to the actual og phantom thieves atm! which is super embarrassing to me because p5x is still a. gacha game. but alas, i do not control my brain's fixations...

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i kind of want to try writing erina again????? would anyone like a starter ;w;

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MAN I REALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR ICHIGO'S CONFIDANT TO DROP........... i want to know more about her so bad, i feel like she could be a really fun character!

[shadowedresolve]

also, i can't find my zenkichi starter call so take a new one. muse for him is relatively high today, so if you're looking to write with him, now's a good chance!

[shadowedresolve]

"Weird? I, uhhhh...."

As much as it wounds his pride to be called weird, especially by his daughter, Zenkichi knows he can't exactly blame Akane for her assessment of him. His immediate response just then was undeniably suspicious, if only because of the unfortunate timing - talk about bad luck that she'd call him out just when he was feeling uncertain about the secrets he's been keeping!

But maybe that's a sign that he should say something after all. It's not a matter of keeping the Phantom Thieves' secrets - because honestly, he knows they wouldn't mind if he told her about them. It's more... well, the fact that the very nature of it all - the Metaverse, Personas, Jails... it's all so unbelievable that he honestly can't say how she'd react to it. There's just too many possibilities. Maybe she'd grow concerned about his mental health, worrying he's become delusional - an assessment he'd find entirely rational in her position - or maybe she'd think he was lying, and their tentative bond would be broken once more.

The latter scenario is what scares him more than he'd like to admit. But now that Akane is here, asking questions, he doesn't have time to think about it. In the end, his body makes the decision for him, as he starts to speak without thinking about the consequences.

"...Busted, huh? Man, I really am bad at this."

...Because he doesn't want to lie to her anymore. That slow, agonizing process of trust being eroded bit by bit... he knows just how painful it is, and he can picture it happening in his mind's eye as clear as day. He doesn't want that to happen again.

Zenkichi sighs, and finds himself sinking onto a nearby chair; defeated. This isn't going how he'd hoped it would at all... but maybe it's time, after all.

"Alright. To be honest, there's been something I've been thinking about a lot lately. It's- something I want to tell you, because I know I promised I wouldn't keep things from you anymore. But, ah... if I'm honest, Akane- I'm really pretty scared you won't believe me."

Her father was being weird. Weirder than normal, in fact.

There was something almost impressive about that. If asked, Akane would have made it known that she felt he was just about as odd as an adult could ever get. He had always been strange (in her eyes), and the behavior had just gotten worse after the death of her mother. It had resulted in an almost impossible distance that had formed between the two of them, but that distance had started to close recently. Something about finding out that her dad was actually working with a bunch of teenagers on a case both demystified him and made him that much odder, but it was... she was trying to be understanding.

Though it wasn't long before she really didn't have to try at all. Her father had promised her he would pursue her mother's killer, and he had stuck to that promise. The actual man responsible had been brought to justice and was now in jail, and that felt...

Not... as good as she had thought it would, truth be told. Knowing that he was actually paying for her death was nice, but it hadn't brought her mother back, and without her anger there was little else for her to focus on to keep the sadness away.

...

Still though. Right. Her father, and he was being weird.

Despite a stern agreement of no secrets between them, Akane couldn't help but notice the way he seemed even more evasive, but only about weird topics. Like the topic of what he did on his trip to Tokyo, or how the teens were doing now. More than once she had caught him seeming to stare off into space engrossed in his own thoughts, and he was almost ridiculously easy to startle now. Like now! All she had done was walk into the kitchen, and he was acting like she had managed to sneak up behind him.

Akane huffed, fists planting against her hips as she frowned up at him. "What has gotten into you, huh? Why are you being so weird?"

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i want to throw kira at a zenkichi tbh

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why do i suddenly want to write haru's dad again........... i literally do not even like him?????

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okay fuck it. i have zero self control. like this post for a messa starter, if anyone would like one??

[shadowedresolve]

Kira doesn't speak as Kotone as she describes to him - bluntly and unapologetically - how much pain she's been going through. How much pain she's still in. He just lets her talk, allowing her to express herself however she needs - and honestly, it'd be impossible for him not to sympathize with her, considering everything she's describing.

She's clearly a girl at the end of her rope. As a doctor and as a person, he wants to help. She doesn't explain the circumstances behind her suffering, though - at least at first... but when Kotone brings up Tatsumi Port Island, Kira can't hide the surprise in his expression at the sudden unexpected swerve in the conversation.

He still doesn't speak, but from that moment on, it's clear he's paying very close attention to her words. Apathy Syndrome... he does remember hearing about it. He was younger at the time, but there's no way he could've missed the discussions and rumors about the unexplained medical phenomenon that had swept the island when he was in medical school. A case that's still unexplained to this day, seeming to have just... suddenly gone away, as quickly and inexplicably as it had arrived.

So Kotone's words obviously catch his interest - and yet, they're so bizarre that he isn't even really sure he's hearing her right. Is she really claiming to have cured it? Apathy Syndrome? Along with her strange claim that it wasn't medical in nature, and the underlying implication that what happened has something to do with the state she's in now... Kira doesn't know what to make of it. He honestly can't remember having ever been so baffled in his career.

Frankly, her words sound like those of a patient suffering from delusions. He knows he can't take them at face value. Yet- jumping to conclusions won't help him either, and in telling him this, Kotone is showing a level of trust in him that he doesn't want to betray... It makes choosing his next words difficult, because he genuinely wants to hear her out - but his skepticism, along with concern for her mental health, has him speaking very carefully.

"I don't doubt that you've gone through a lot." he says. That, at the very least, is true. "And I do remember the talk of Apathy Syndome back then. But... are you saying that you're somehow connected to that? That it wasn't what it seemed?"

That seems to be the case, but... he just can't get it. He can't believe it.

"Sorry... but I don't get it yet. I want to hear you out, though. If you're willing to help me... bear with your useless doctor a little longer for me, will you?"

...Well, there was no beating around the bush. Someone this straightforward was bound to come on eventually. Placing an elbow on the doctor's desk, she pinches the temple of her nose in distress. The words try to come to her, but nothing seems to be appropriate to discuss.

"I... am in pain. A lot. I've been in pain for a long time," her eyes wander to and fro, a wry smile appearing on her face as she gazes at the lack of muscle on her right leg. "I just don't want to feel it for a while. It helps when I take them. I'm..." Kotone pauses, biting the inner flesh of her cheek. "I'm in eternal pain because of circumstances beyond my control. If... if you look at pictures of me in high school or college versus me now..?" she sardonically scoffs, almost laughing as she finishes. "I'm a husk. I'm emotionally fucked up. I'm physically suffering everyday," shaking her head, she gazes earthward.

"Do you know about Apathy Syndrome, doc? Or do you know anything about the strange things that happened in Tatsumi Port Island on January 2010?" she finally looks towards the doctor, eyes grim. "It was all over the news those days. People tried to be careful... But it wasn't exactly a medical thing. My friends & I... we cured it. I just... It came at the cost of everything," she trails off, eyes shut - the cold of the month rushing through her. Sharing top-secret information wasn't a good look on her after all. "Do you get me?"

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"I don't know how you handle it... haah, there were so many people..."

Since meeting Natsuya, Ayaka has been generally doing better and better with her performance anxiety. Even having just one person to cheer her on has seemingly been enough to push her forward, motivating her to face her fears... but not every day is perfect, and today has been a harder day than most.

And as always, when she doesn't cope with her fear of people so well, it's sent her into a bit of a spiral of self-doubt. Natsuya has always done so much for Ayaka, but what has she ever done for him in return? She knows he has a lot of friends, or at least acquaintances - and though it's selfish, she can't shake the feeling that she'll never be able to measure up to them...

"But, thank you for helping me again. I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end, right?"

@braveryhearted ( starter for wonder! )

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"It's great! You should give it a try."

Walking with him, Ann takes a second to enjoy the moment and the feel of the outside air on her face. It may be busy, but she's used to that, and being here with a friend makes things a little more fun than usual.

"I mean, I don't know yet. Figuring it out as you go is more than half the fun." she explains, though she's honestly not sure if that's how everyone else feels, or just her. "If I see any nice clothes, I'll definitely take a look... and I'm kind of curious about what they've got in the games shop, too."

She's already scanning the shops nearby to identify where she wants to go. But first things first - bubble tea!

"Tea first, and then we can drink as we walk. Come on, it's over there!"

"Bubble tea? Is it good? I heard it's popular with girls." With a hand in his pocket, the wound in his pride was still fresh but stinging less the more he thought about the tea she mentioned, he made a head gesture for her to follow him out of the arcade, walking down the steps. Of course, he knew she was only joking around, but the budget mention got him curious.

He closed his eyes and sighed. "Well, aight, fine! I deserve it." He raised his hands up in the air and followed her to the shop, not minding the sea of students and workers going around Central Street. A typical morning in Shibuya. "So, what're you getting besides the tea and crepes or whatever? Do I hafta go clothes shoppin' with ya?"

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Now that causes Kira to pause, and he turns to face Kotone properly as the bills of yen are thrust in his direction. That and the mention of the Kirijos are more than enough to set off several red flags in his head, and the long stare he gives her make it obvious that he's less than impressed with her in that moment.

"Bribing a doctor? You really think that's a good idea, do you?" he asks bluntly, giving her a proper look down. She does look pretty awful - just about as awful as he himself is feeling, if not worse. Truth be told, he probably would've indulged her request, but her suspicious behavior makes him significantly more reluctant... Even if he feels bad for her, he lets the silence sit for a few more moments, enough that he hopes it makes her feel uncomfortable.

"...Tell you what." Then, he slides the bills back in Kotone's direction, his eyes never once leaving hers. "I'll consider giving you what you want, and I won't tell anyone about this, if you tell me what exactly it is you've been going through." It might be a bad idea, but Kira gets the impression this girl has got her ways of getting what she wants with or without him. This way, at least he might be able to learn a little more about her situation.

"You've gotta give me something to work with, here. Putting it bluntly, I'm worried about you. I want to help, but I need to understand what's going on if I'm going to know how best to do that."

"Don't mind me! I'm just, uh..."

Truth be told, she needed another lovely fix. Her leg was aching a little too much lately, and the newfound knowledge she's received from the younger of the Niijima's drove her in a way that couldn't be explained. Pain? Emotional suffering? Difficult to elaborate. With a sigh, she leans against the frame of the door she stood by. There wasn't much she could do without external support - or at least the best as 'external' can count.

"Mind if I get some more painkillers? I'm... Well, I can get you some additional Kirijo funding if you just indulge me?"

Truth be told, despite the endless financial privilege bestowed onto her by Mitsuru by being a savior, she never quite used the name. It never made sense to abuse the privilege - however, it had its perks when it came to getting things she was increasingly desperate to get. Sighing, she moves her way to the doctor's seat, dark circles beneath her eyes.

"I've been... going through a lot. I just need some help right now is all. Sorry if this is fucking up your hippocratic oath or whatever," her words are blunt, yet her look is apologetic. With a small smile, she slides a few thousand yen worth of bills towards Kira.