shadowedvales

[shadowedvales]

𝕿he knowledge of Sam's arrival is the only thing helping her relax. While she still refuses to look Becky in the eye &. can't seem to stop gnawing at already raw cuticles, her breath alleviates slightly thanks to the sign that she might be okay. Then, he doesn't show up. Then, he sends a stranger in his place. After band-aids are swiftly applied to now bleeding fingers, she's led into a separate, smaller room in the station with this man for sole company. He introduced himself as a friend, said she needn't fret, promised this would all go away… [WHAT DID HE KNOW? He didn't know her, didn't know anything as far as she's concerned.]

All she knows is that real people don't do things like this. They understand how the world works; they don't attack others &. make them bleed because they're upset. She pinches her left arm hard, attempting to keep grounded, to recognise her own heart-beat. I'm real, I'm real. I did something bad but I am real.

To her utmost surprise, he's... nice. Talkative in a way she's never known. They run through the situation, the next steps, what she'll need to do [ even after the great reassurance, I worry so much that I'm not actually here. I'm back where I started &. my good dream is ending ]. This is all you will ever be, a voice in her head urged, a monster dressed as a child with no real grasp of girlhood. He's careful not to linger too heavily on her deep-rooted confession ⸻ Janessa is appreciative of it &. can't help the soft, albeit confused smile forming on her face while watching his strange motions &. quirks. “Oh. An expert? Yes, that is a big cow - win...” Lips purse, brows furrowing, spitting &. sounding out syllables like they personally offended her. It's a relatively new phrase added to growing vocabulary: “coh - coincidence.” Thankfully, Becky made it the word of the day a little over three weeks ago, continuing the tradition Hopper began.

“I am listening up,” to prove her newfound attention, she straightens in her chair while discarding her downcast gaze to focus on him. “No one has really... tried to tell me about the supreme bubblegum. You are the first.” Ives confesses quietly, looking at Mulder inquisitively. After accepting his gift, she toys with the wrapping before digging in to uncover the stark pink goo, poking it instinctively with her index finger twice before peering back. “Seems real to me.” She shrugs in a lacklustre manner, but the enthusiasm he apparently wishes to instil in her grows whether she likes it or not ⸻ seen in the way her shoulders unscrew from their taut position, the way feet cease tapping hurriedly against the tiled floors. The remark about eating a vegetable or two is purposefully ignored by a roll of the eyes.

To make sure it's safe, she pops it in her mouth after he consumes his. It's weird, but she likes it. Slowly, her ease surfaces... he's peculiar in a rather warming way. Jane shakes her head, “I do not know anyone who has many thoughts on gum. You know a lot about it.” She says like it's a talent he possesses, genuinely impressed with his cleverness. This is hardly what she expected being arrested to entail. “So. I bee - leave you are an expert. I think.” She chews for another minute, then asks, “When do I swallow it?” around a muffled mouth-full of the oddest candy she's ever eaten.

“ 𝚒'𝚖 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚒'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕. ” from jane ives, @shadowedvales

𝐀𝐒 𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐒𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑, HE ADJUSTS THE PAISLEY TIE AROUND HIS NECK in order to allow himself a bit more unrestricted breath. the urge to smirk translates into a sort of tenderness that softens all the harsher edges of his features; pulling a smile softly onto his lips. ( 𝚍𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚔𝚒𝚍𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜𝚗'𝚝 𝚎𝚡𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚕𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎, ) [ ... ] sometimes he still felt like just a kid himself. a kid who lost his sister. ❛   ────oh, yeah? .. in that case, maybe you'll allow me the honor of informing you that you happen to be talking with a designated expert in believing in things other people label as quote-unquote not real. now i'd say that's quite a coincidence, wouldn't you? ❜

as a sign of trust, he offers her some of his big league chew.

❛   listen up, because this is kind of important: no matter what anyone else tries to tell you, this right here is the supreme brand of bubblegum. go on, you can have some. .. maybe later you can pay me back by eating an extra vegetable or two.  ❜ &. in order to prove his good intentions, he pulls a glob of starch-coated pink goo from the package and shoves it into his cheek.

❛   whaddya think, janessa? seem pretty real to you? [ ... ] maybe a different question: have you ever known someone who isn't real t'have much of an opinion on gum?  ❜

[shadowedvales]

Isabelle Huppert photographed by Patrick Jarnoux, 1980

[shadowedvales]

HURT / COMFORT : STARTERS

a collection of quotes, phrases, and sayings for when your muse needs a little TLC. change & alter as needed.

THE HURT:

“Nah, it’s not that bad. I’ve had worse.”

“I don’t think I can walk that far… or at all.”

“I’m fine. I don’t need your help.”

“Will you stay with me? Just until I fall asleep?”

“I’m sorry, I’m just—I’m just really tired.”

“I don’t need a break. I’m okay.”

“It was my fault. It was all my fault.”

“I think I need help.”

“So, I don’t think I’m dying, or anything, and it’s probably not that serious, but… I’m kinda bleeding. A lot.”

“Is the room spinning right now, or is that just me?”

“No, I’m okay, I just… I hit my head. Really hard. I’ll be okay, just give me a second.”

“I’m not sick! I’m fine!”

“No, I don’t think any of my bones are broken, or anything like that. Just bad bruises.”

“Yeah, but you should see the other guy.”

“I’m fine. This just happens sometimes. It’s normal for me.”

“I’ve got a headache.”

“Seriously, though, I’m fine! Stop making such a big deal out of it!”

“I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time. I don’t need your help, and I definitely don’t need your pity. Fuck off.”

“Please tell me I don’t look as bad as I feel.”

“I think I’m running a fever.”

“So, what’s the prognosis, Doc? Am I gonna live?”

“Stop fussing over me! I’m not a baby!”

“Can I stay with you tonight? I just… really don’t want to be alone right now.”

“No, I-I’m okay. It was just a nightmare. Go back to sleep.”

“I… can’t actually remember the last time I had something to eat.”

“You shouldn’t be here. You’ll get sick, too.”

THE COMFORT:

“Honey, have you been crying? What is it? What’s wrong?”

“I think you’d better take a break.”

“It’s not your fault, sweetheart. You did everything you could.”

“You don’t have to go through this alone. I’m right here for you if you’ll just let me in.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Don’t ever let yourself believe that there is.”

“You really don’t realize just how many people love you, do you?”

“If you’re not going to take care of yourself, at least let me do it for you!”

“I’m sorry. I know it hurts.”

“You’re not alone, baby. You never have been.”

“Let’s get you some food.”

“You’re dead on your feet, poor thing. Come on, you need some sleep.”

“Stay where you are. I’m coming to get you.”

“Tell me where it hurts.”

“How many times have I told you to be more careful?!”

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m right here, okay? I’m not gonna leave you. I’m never gonna leave you.”

“Oh, honey, you’re safe now. I promise. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Go ahead and take a shower. I’ll fix you something to eat.”

“What happened to you, baby?”

“I’ll kill that bastard. I’ll kill him for what he did to you.”

“You look like shit, man.”

“Whoa, whoa, take it easy! You got pretty banged up back there, and you don’t want to go making yourself worse.”

“I’m not trying to baby you. It’s called taking care of my friends.”

“Sweetheart, you’re burning up! Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell anyone you were sick?”

[shadowedvales]

[shadowedvales]

okay but henry thomas specifically as elliott from e.t. as will byers…….. am i cooking or am i cooking!

[shadowedvales]

i just think everyone should see the newest addition to my collection!! look at this big boy!!!

[shadowedvales]

do they like going on trains?

do they take anything to help them sleep ( medicines, chamomilles, warm milk... )?

do they prepare their clothes before going to sleep, or do they prefer to improvize?

DO THEY LIKE GOING ON TRAINS?

jane's first experience on a train was when she was nineteen: she and mike traveled out to see a community theater production of chicago. from then on, they became her favourite mode of public transport! like cars, it took her a long time to get used to the motion sickness, but when she overcame that, she began using trains as much as possible if she needed to travel long distances. which, frankly, isn't often. in those years when she's sick and wants to see more of the world -- but refuses to fly in a plane -- it's her favourite way to get around and see new things.

she never learns to drive, (she tries! but the multi-tasking is way too much for her to cope with) so in riding a train, it gives her a real sense of independence. riding in a car with someone else is nice, but she's still with someone she knows, and they're in control. it is difficult to find that independence if she has someone to rely on. if she has to take a bus, she will, but in her experience they always smell funny. she always thanks the bus driver, but they rarely acknowledge her. there's too much graffiti. too many negatives for her liking. whereas trains are a bit more classy, the scenery is often nicer, they run smoothly. at first, the system of changing platforms stressed her out majorly -- once she learnt it was actually quite easy to manage, she was comfortable catching trains on her own.

by the time she moves out of hawkins and is living in her little cottage in the woods, she rarely needs to travel so far that she needs a train, (she only needs her bike at that point in her life) but on the rare occasion, to feel more in touch with the modern world (even if she never really fit into it) she'll buy a train ticket and ride it for as long as she likes. she'll get off at a random destination when she's had enough, buy another ticket, then turn back around to go home.

DO THEY TAKE ANYTHING TO HELP THEM SLEEP?

when jane began seeing cathleen in 1986, it was only two weeks into her sessions that she was prescribed a beginners dose of doxepin (a treatment for insomnia) after her sleeping issues came to light. it wasn't so much about the fact that she couldn't sleep, rather how to deal with the things that plague her while she sleeps. nightmares that wake her up between 3-5am, and how she struggles to sleep again after them. for the most part the medications work well, putting her in a deeper sleep, which means her bad dreams aren't remembered so heavily the next day, nor do they wake her up as often. they become a continuous prescription until she's in her late twenties and finds she doesn't need them so much. (that mental growth y'know! accepting and getting help to recover from your trauma rather than reliving it!)

for the most part she doesn't like taking anything in terms of medication (particularly because in the early months of taking doxepin, she dealt with major headaches). the only thing she really needs to help her sleep, or at least make her feel comfortable and safe while sleeping, is always there on her bed. it's an old, brown teddy bear, belonging to terry ives, given to her by andrew rich. jane doesn't cuddle with the toy because he's very old and she doesn't want to risk hurting him + he's got straw stuffing which makes him more delicate. when she goes to bed she removes him from her pillows to sit him on her nightstand. she gives him a pat and kiss on the head, says goodnight to her parents through him, and she's set. she has other toys to cuddle with throughout the night, (she likes to have her arms wrapped around something) and they compensate for not being able to hug her mother's bear.

DO THEY PREPARE THEIR CLOTHES BEFORE GOING TO SLEEP, OR DO THEY PREFER TO IMPROVISE?

she prepares her clothes!!!! jane's clothes are so important to her. sewing is the first talent she discovers she has, the first thing that makes her feel like she can do something normal, be apart of something normal. they're a source of self-expression. when her wardrobe becomes predominantly hers, rather than hand-me-downs from mike, hopper, nancy and becky, she takes a lot of pride in it. before she begins making her own clothes, and starts off with buying new outfits (first at thrift stores in downtown hawkins, then, more excitedly, at starcourt mall) they're special because they're hers. no one else's. at first she might just lay out a dress or skirt (rarely does she wear pants) on the end of her bed without really thinking about it, preparing for the next day. simply excited because they're her clothes.

when her sewing skills progress, she takes more time to figure out what she wants to wear the following day. she'll hang the outfit on the doorknobs of her wardrobe, or if it's a three piece set, hang the last piece on one of her dresser drawer knobs. it's more important because it's something she created -- she wants her friends to like what she wears, to be proud of her talent. she wants to be pretty in something she's made for herself, something no one else has. she's not too fussed when it comes to shoes. she has a simple pair of black mary jane ballet flats (yes, she asked for those specific shoes because the brand has her name in it) which go with just about everything, that she wears 90% of the time. the other 10% is her plain white sneakers -- not always as stylish, but sometimes comfier. she's very big on jewellery! she always wears a simple opal necklace which belonged to terry, puts a lot of clips or a bow in her hair, and wears a lot of bracelets and the scrunchie max gave to her on her wrists. she always wears the ring on her index finger that nancy gave her, too. like her outfit, they're organised carefully for the following day, laid out on her dresser.

[shadowedvales]

* STARTER CALL : STILL ACCEPTING. (BETH GREENE)

⸻ in a perfect life, she would've inherited her mother's glee and father's humour. she received teresa's incomparable grief and andrew's doomed fate, instead. the womb became barren, the child long buried, the name janessa alexandra ives written upon both a birth and death certificate. she ceased to exist, leaving barely enough room for eleven to take her place -- a place she had to bite and claw at to earn. a weaker descendant may have crumpled, but she'd grasped her pain many times, branded it in her body to forever carry. the scar on her leg often tingled with a faint stench of iron, a sign of what's been taken -- but rather than an omen for weakness, she looked at it as a reminder of purpose. how she almost succumbed to the darkness but refused to let it take her. the one thing she can't shake, though, is her loneliness. there's no way to gather bravery or grow stronger with its permanent residency inside her. it collects in her limbs and pulls them taut, consumes the positivity she tries to uphold. even with her newfound community, the sting of isolation still threatens to drag her six feet below.

it's a dimly-lit reality when children are cornered like cattle, particularly when they recall the slaughterhouse in shades of varying crimson. but these people granted her the chance to see sky-blue's and brighter greens; they took her in when abandoning a stranger in the bitter cold was a perfectly reasonable option. they breathed air back into her lungs, gave her meaning in the same fashion jonathan and will did. but rarely do they give her a task to complete, a way to aid. whether it's because she's a kid, ( do they think she's too stupid to offer anything meaningful? ) or they don't fully trust her yet due to the impossible wound she bares... elle's unsure, but wants to prove her capability. there's always much to do -- especially nowadays, as further graves were dug -- but her hands remain clean from hard, excessive labour.

"i want to help." she declares to @pastfled suddenly, appearing like a ghost in the doorway of her cell-turned-bedroom. she initially considered approaching hershel with her problem -- he's lovely, has a special way of making her feel useful. but with his own recovery still progressing, she feared coming across as bothersome. the decision to turn to his youngest daughter was then made. eleven did not enter without permission, planting her feet firmly outside the room. she absentmindedly pulls at her fingers, knuckles nearly cracking under the weight of swimming nerves. beth is kind, sweet, and strong, ( everything a girl should be, everything elle wants to be, ) she saw the way this environment changed her in the best and worst aspects, the respect earned in her leadership. beth stepped up while some could do nothing but mourn for those lost; elle wanted to follow her lead.

"i can do... things." she urges, desperate to be believed. "i don't know what, but..." what can you do in a land that doesn't want you? a world you weren't ever supposed to discover? meant for little more than exposure and sacrifice -- it's no wonder basic functions are so foreign. "maybe you will teach me how to hold judith so i will not drop her," she suggests, "and how to give her the drink she needs. or. or show me how to cook." she inhales deeply, silently counting to five. it's the slow rot which terrifies her most -- to continue growing here, in this existence built by the skin of her teeth, only to be captured down the line and thrown back to the beginning, where she was nothing more than a shaved skull with fragile, bird-like bones. she needs to make an impression before time runs out. "i really want to do something to help everybody."

[shadowedvales]

mundane headcanons

🌅 morning routine

at what time do they generally wake up?

do they tend to wake up early and take their time, or would they rather rush it?

how many alarms do they need to wake up?

are they a morning person?

bathroom first or breakfast first?

do they take a shower to wake up?

coffee, tea, milk or juice?

sweet or savoury breakfast?

what do they like to have for breakfast?

do they prepare their clothes before going to sleep, or do they prefer to improvize?

do they spend a lot of time dressing up, fixing their hair and/or putting on makeup?

🚿 personal hygiene

how often do they take a shower/bath?

shower or bath?

shower/bath in the morning, afternoon or evening?

do they use specific perfumes?

do they prefer their shampoos and soaps plain, or do they like to smell like something specific?

do they have specific shampoos, conditioners and body wash, or do they go with a 3-in-1?

what's their go-to flavor when it comes to toothpaste?

🍕 food breaks

do they have set times for their meals, or do they eat whenever they feel like it?

do they have a proper meals everyday, or do they tend to skip or get just a snack for lunch/dinner?

are they a home-cooking kind of person, or do they rather get takeouts?

if they eat at work/school, do they take time to prepare even just a sandwich at home before going out?

do they tend to have any make-ahead meals?

do they tend to have leftovers?

how often do they get fast food?

how often do they go to restaurants?

🧹 chores

are they the one doing most chores in the house?

which chore is the one they dread doing the most?

do they wash the dishes right after a meal, or do they leave them in the sink until it's impossible to ignore them?

do they have the dreaded "laundry chair" where they put dirty clothes on?

do they make their bed in the morning, or leave it undone until it's time to sleep?

🚗 transports

do they have a driving license, wether it's for a car or bikes?

do they have any other kind of driving licences ( planes, ships, buses... )

do they own a car?

do they own a bike?

are they the kind of person who think of their car as if it was their baby? perfectly clean, not a scratch, almost overly protective of it?

do they use public transports? if so, do they like using them?

do they like going on trains?

do they like going on boats or ships?

do they like going on airplanes?

📱 phone

what phone do they have?

do they use specific ringtones depending on who calls them, or do they use just one for everyone?

how often do they check their phone?

do they keep their phone's audio volume on, or do they prefer the vibration or? or do they rather have it silenced?

how many apps to they have on their phone, give or take?

do they have games on their phone?

what's their background and lock-screen?

💻 social media

are they registered to any social media?

how often do they log in?

how many followers do they have?

do they follow a lot of people?

how easy is it for them to block someone online?

what do they tend to post online ( art, videos, just starting fights online... )?

did they ever get in an online fight?

do you think they'd have callouts about them?

😴 sleeping routine

at what time do they tend to go to sleep?

do they take anything to help them sleep ( medicines, chamomilles, warm milk... )?

how much does it take for them to fall asleep?

are they a light or a heavy sleeper?

do they snore, talk and/or move a lot while sleeping?

do they dream often?

what kind of dreams to they tend to have?

do they prefer to be in complete darkness to fall asleep, or are they ok with a bit of light?

do they need the door or the windows open, or do they prefer them closed when they go to sleep?

what's their usual sleeping position?

where is their bed? with a side against the wall, in the middle of the room... ?

[shadowedvales]

screaming crying THROWING UP. leave my girl ALONE!!!! but also the way the only shot of jane is her screaming like. been there done that pls give me something new…..

and the shot of the upside down coming through the floor looks very cool!!!!!!

[shadowedvales]

i don’t think i have written this down anywhere yet, (and i need to update my carrd so badly oh my gosh) but i follow the suspicious minds novel canon in regards to a lot of jane + terry’s history— including jane’s birthday. the book puts her birth year in 1970, making her one year older than the party in season one. i personally love the idea of jane being thirteen in 1983, and seventeen in 1987, when she closes the gate for good and gets to fully begin her life. which means she basically misses out on her entire childhood, as she’s nearly a legal adult when hawkins is finally safe… but it’s fine we are fine about it.

[shadowedvales]

jane has a very warped, toxic relationship with the void, which stems particularly from her time with her friends, in the early days, opposed to her time in hawkins lab. she expects punishment in the lab for noncompliance, which is why she does everything papa asks of her, in fear for what may happen if she refuses. she soon comes to believe that her only use in the party is to find will, or they'll “send her back to pennhurst or wherever she comes from.” it’s a different kind of punishment, but the pressure to comply is the same. jane gets her first taste of freedom in season one, but still spends it imprisoned and in a role where so much of her is demanded physically and mentally. the scene especially in episode seven, when they're all around joyce's dining table, talking about her like she's a machine, proves this tenfold. at this point, she is off in the bathroom, looking at herself in the mirror, crying because she can't help these people. a twelve year old girl who has never been outside in her life, crying because she's letting these strangers down… and they're doing absolutely nothing to help her along with it. to make her feel secure and safe.

mike: but she's drained. dustin: like a bad battery. joyce: well, how do we make her better? mike: we don't. we just have to wait and try again. nancy: well, how long?!

it's all well and good when joyce tells her that she's right there for her when jane enters the void, tells her she is brave. but they are all, for the most part, willing to sacrifice her, her feelings, her safety, to get will back. they don't know the void, and while jane is physically there with them, they have no idea what it could do to her. i understand joyce is his mum, of course she'll stop at nothing until will is returned, but it doesn't justify the way jane is treated and spoken about like she isn't even there. joyce should be on her hands and knees thanking jane for traumatising herself to find her son. and hopper literally selling her out to the hawkins lab people, putting her back in brenner's custody don't even get me startedddd. like she isn't a little girl, like she matters less than will does. she is basically treated like a metal detector for the better part of the season. [like a dog. like a makeshift girlfriend. she's placed into so many different roles and uses by these people, and is never given a chance to determine what she may want.] i understand that no time could really be wasted in terms of finding will, but if even one of them had asked her how she felt, if she needed to take a break, it would have made all the difference. she would have pushed herself regardless, but at least it would have shown that not only will mattered.

but no one did ask. and it leaves jane feeling like it's okay to sacrifice herself to the void; it leaves her treating the void like it's less dangerous, less unknown than it really is. they are her friends, she loves these people, so if they say it’s fine for her to do this, then she believes it, and never stops believing it. this ties in so nicely to the debate between max and mike regarding her powers in season three: mike thinking jane should limit herself to keep safe, and max arguing that it's up to jane, that she knows her own limits. where in reality, she doesn't know any limits, because she was never taught to have them. [i don't specifically blame the boy's in this instance, because they were just kids in season one, but joyce and hopper, even nancy and jonathan, could've stepped up.] if anyone told her back then, when she was even more impressionable than she is now, that if she was scared, if she didn't want to do it, she didn't have to. she still would have, of course, but then and there it would have instilled the fact that she had choices. so when mike proclaims that it's not good for her to be in there for that long, jane thinks nothing of it, because she should have been told these things three years prior. it leaves her using the void like it's no big deal, never taking a minute to consider how it could be affecting her body and mind.

[shadowedvales]

oh my god. i love janessa alexandra ives.

[shadowedvales]

🐝  *  ―  𝑩𝑨𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑬 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑵𝑼𝑻𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  you almost had it, [name]. here, let me show you.  ❜ ❛  you’ve just gotta find the courage to try.  ❜ ❛  you can’t tell me what to do!  ❜ ❛  don’t worry, i’ll wait until your party is over before i perform any mischief.  ❜ ❛  some people never change. but we can always hope.  ❜ ❛  you must have felt like a princess.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could have been there.  ❜ ❛  maybe next time you can come with me.  ❜ ❛  not so fearless now, hmm?  ❜ ❛  you’re not going to get away from me this time.  ❜ ❛  it’s dangerous, yes. but not impossible.  ❜ ❛  me? with you? in there? i don’t think so.  ❜ ❛  this is crazy. but, yes.  ❜ ❛  here, let me give you a hand.  ❜ ❛  well, i’m sorry, but you should have been more careful.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could remember but i’m so hungry.  ❜ ❛  that would be a shame, then i couldn’t tell you the juicy bit of gossip i overheard.  ❜ ❛  i didn’t know things had gotten this bad.  ❜ ❛  well, what have we here?  ❜ ❛  well, if you have nothing to hide you won’t mind answering a few questions.  ❜ ❛  i’ve never heard such a ridiculous story!  ❜ ❛  i do believe i’m starting to rub off on you.  ❜ ❛  you want me to babysit a rock?  ❜ ❛  why haven’t you told anyone?  ❜ ❛  perhaps you should remember who’s in charge of this expedition.  ❜ ❛  are you sure you’re alright to travel?  ❜ ❛  that is what you want, isn’t it?  ❜ ❛  i should have never come, what was i thinking?  ❜ ❛  what am i saying? i can’t leave! i’m their only hope!  ❜ ❛  are you sure about this?  ❜ ❛  ah, you’re just in time for your party.  ❜ ❛  there’s more to being king than having a crown.  ❜ ❛  i don’t need their loyalty. i don’t even need them!  ❜ ❛  i am afraid i underestimated you.  ❜ ❛  you and i know you’re much more than that.  ❜ ❛  none of this would have been possible without you, [name].  ❜ ❛  i absolutely despise happy endings!  ❜ ❛  it’s about time you got up.  ❜ ❛  it’s not a story ― it really happened.  ❜ ❛  i’m verry happy to … meet you.  ❜

[shadowedvales]

every chance of stability was chewed and spat out, and jane can't help but wonder if she was the problem, if there was a larger reason she didn't belong anywhere. from a basement, to a cabin in the woods, to a motherless house— and now... whatever this is. kali seemed like the answer, her savior who understood everything in a way no one else ever could. until motives were revealed and tests failed; a breaking point was eventually pushed by an illusion of an old man and his bared teeth. when the moment an escape was offered, (surely she couldn't return to becky or hopper. she betrayed them both by fleeing despite what they provided) it wasn't surprising that she desperately clung onto the concept, begging with her lips and heart to leave. “ i am tired. and cold. ” jane complains like it's her friend's fault, a scowl settling on messy features, limbs crying for rest while her body begs for security. the adrenaline of their hurried departure was beginning to wear off, and all she wants is to lay her head down somewhere and contemplate the following move. where might the lost child go next?

tiffany knew routes around the streets. tiffany never pressured jane or asked anything of her— this knowledge and experience leaves her content in trailing the elder for the time being. she could have deserted you, she reminds herself. be grateful she likes you enough to let you stay. they've only been walking for a little over an hour, putting as much distance between themselves and those left behind, but janessa feels as if she could collapse under the ache of her legs. frostbitten fingers aren't exactly enjoying the harsh wind, either. uninjured hand absentmindedly rubs at the make-up still shadowing her eyes (it was never her. she wants it gone) as she tries to keep up the pace. suddenly, like a flick was switched, she stops, neck shooting upwards and hand dropping at her side. “ are we going to your home? ” she asks, voice no longer sharp, more curious, the idea of seeing a place where cherished memories are made nearly removed her bitter tone completely. she may not have a home to call her own, so she'd live vicariously through tiffany.

not just that, but chicago has become less inviting than she believed the city to be: now all she sees is death. the hurt. the sorrow. the pain she inflicted simply because she was told to. god, what would her mother think? what would mike think? “ is it very far away from here? ”

starter call / @psych1cwound.

[shadowedvales]

[shadowedvales]

would anyone care for a little starter? in the mood to write small things! feel free to specify a verse if you’d like to!