shaebyrnes

[shaebyrnes]

Ray Ban Sunglasses Official Charity Event!

@brownguymh​ @michaelkimmel​ @roloveshisstormcloud​ @lilcutie-1122​ @nwlowrey-blog​ @cheezbot​

The official charity event of Ray-Ban sunglasses, all styles of glasses are only $24.99! We will donate 50% of the profits to the COVID-19 epidemic prevention department. Every purchase is your support for charity, thank you!

Click to buy>>>Official flagship store

[shaebyrnes]

Ray Ban Sunglasses Official Charity Event!

@brownguymh​ @michaelkimmel​ @roloveshisstormcloud​ @lilcutie-1122​ @nwlowrey-blog​ @cheezbot​

The official charity event of Ray-Ban sunglasses, all styles of glasses are only $24.99! We will donate 50% of the profits to the COVID-19 epidemic prevention department. Every purchase is your support for charity, thank you!

Click to buy>>>Official flagship store

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

You are not replaceable.

Nobody else in this world is exactly like you, nobody brings your unique gifts into the world but you - and believe me, you do have unique gifts!

Please know that you would be greatly missed. Nobody can ever replace you.

Please never give up. The world needs you.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Here’s simply a quick reminder that you’re not broken.

It’s easy to feel like you’re a bowl with a crack, to speak in metaphors: People may look at you with disgust, like you need someone to fix you, or with pity, like you are useless, damaged, worthless.

Your feelings are not flaws. You can’t fix them, and you don’t need to - there’s nothing wrong with them!

They’re not something abnormal to look down upon or to “tolerate” as a lesser version.

No matter if it’s how you feel about others (attraction) or about yourself (gender identity), those are no cracks. Those are just different colors or patterns. Or, hey, maybe you’re not a bowl at all, you’re a strainer - those “cracks” are part of you!

I know, this metaphor may be silly. My point is: Maybe you’re not like “the others”, whoever they are. Maybe you’re different, maybe you stand out. So what?

How boring the world would be if everything had the same color. And there would be something missing if strainers didn’t exist.

How wonderful that we are not all the same, my dear, and how lovely that you exist.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If there’s something you used to do that was bad for you and you don’t do it anymore, you’re so incredibly strong and I’m so proud of you. 

No matter if it’s any kind of addiction or self-harm or or a bad coping mechanism or “just” a bad habit - it takes strength and bravery to change your ways. 

No matter if you have not done that for 5 years or for 5 days now - you deserve to be proud of yourself. 

It’s easy to look back and say “It’s so disgusting that I used to be like that” or “I’m such a loser, just look at my past”. That’s not true. Getting better is not easy but so worth it. You took those steps, bravely went on this journey, despite the fact that you probably didn’t want to at times and felt like giving up. Maybe you even gave up a few times - but you got back on your feet and now you’re here! 

Far from being a sign that you are a loser, it shows that you’re a hero.

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

How often do you look at your friends and think “You didn’t do one productive thing today. You’re so useless. You don’t deserve any happiness or love because you’re so useless.”? 

I dare say that you never think that at all. You would consider it cruel and untrue. Obviously your friends are worthy and important even on unproductive days! Of course you’re proud of them when they achieve something but if someone asked you to list your favorite qualities in them, you would probably say something like “kindness” or “they’re so funny” or “I just feel so safe and comfortable around them” rather than listing the stuff they put in their CV. 

You probably don’t think about them in terms of “usefulness” at all. The value they add to your life can’t be measured like that. 

So, why would you look at yourself and say “Ugh, you’re useless”? Why do you need to be useful to be allowed to love yourself - when you can so easily love others without even thinking about their usefulness?

Don’t try to measure your value - it can’t be measured. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids, 

Feeling lonely is not something to feel ashamed of or a sign of weakness. 

Humans need connection - not all in the same way or in the same “quantity”. There’s no set number of friends everyone needs. But we all do need other people. 

We feel lonely when that need - our own personal need that can look different from someone else’s - is not fulfilled. That’s normal. It’s just human nature. 

Think about babies and young children: they literally can not survive without connection. Not only because they need someone to feed them - they need emotional warmth, love, a feeling of safety to grow up healthy. 

Shaming people for feeling lonely can be a strange side effect of certain kinds of “empowerment”: the whole “You’re a strong and capable person, you don’t need anyone” kind of positivity. 

I fully believe that you are strong and capable - I just want you to know that it doesn’t make you any less strong if you need other people or if you feel lonely. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Dad 

[shaebyrnes]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

Please don’t hurt yourself today.

I wanted to write this letter for quite a long time now as I know that some of you struggle with self-harm and that’s not something I want to be aware of and simply ignore. You deserve better than that.

And yet I struggle to find the right words to write to you. Words that comfort you, words that take away your pain, words that give you hope. Because that is what you deserve.

Yes, I could easily write a letter full of overused phrases. I could tell you that “self-harm won’t solve any problems” - but I know that you already know that. You don’t really believe that it’ll fix anything and I don’t want to belittle you by acting as if a “Self-harm doesn’t fix your problems” would really be breaking news to you.

I could throw some generalized positivity in, like “All of you are beautiful and loved”, but I know that, especially when you struggle with low confidence or mental health issues, it is too easy to read that, nod and think “Yes, everyone but me”.

You and me, we both know there is no magic sentence I could tell you that would guarantee that you stop harming yourself. If there was such a thing, it would probably get thrown into every single booklet, article and tumblr post about self-harm - and would lose its magic by overuse.

That magic, that little spark that will make you say “I will not hurt myself today” - one day at a time - that will never come from me. That will come from you. And I know I can say will rather than would here. Because just as I fully know how hard it is, I fully know how strong you are. I know that you’re alive while you read this and that means you made it to this day - dragged yourself to this day, maybe, with bruises and a broken heart but you made it. You survived.

And when I know that you survived every battle you faced so far, every single hardship life threw at you, then it really doesn’t need much positive thinking to believe in you.

Please don’t hurt yourself today.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[shaebyrnes]

someone: oh my gosh! i can’t believe you’ve fallen so far behind :( why didn’t you seek help?

me: well you see i’ve got this little thing called *strums guitar* Avoidant Personality Disorder

[shaebyrnes]

this user is currently dissociating 

[shaebyrnes]

this user experiences depersonalization 

[shaebyrnes]

[shaebyrnes]

Thank you so much for this. People touching me makes me have panic attacks and I often feel like there’s something wrong with me for that. So thanks for making me feel not as broken.

[shaebyrnes]

Just a little lie

Ships: platonic Anxceit

Janus’s Pov

I sat down with the others waiting for Virgil to speak. He had told us earlier that week that there was something important he wanted to say to everyone. I have to admit, I was very curious. Even though, Virgil and I were quite close, he was still the only person I knew that kept their emotions as guarded as I did. I looked around trying to see if anyone knew what Virgil was about to say, but they all seemed to be as clueless as I was.

-Ok so hum, Virgil started, man this is harder than I thought. I’m just going to go ahead and say it: I’m nonbinary. Like I’m not a man, I’m a demiboy. So like partially male and partially neutral, if that makes sense.

No one said anything since we were all shocked.

-Please say something, he pleaded.

-What pronouns would you like us to use for you, Roman asked while walked towards Virgil and giving him a hug.

-He/him and they/them, Virgil replied hugging him back.

I immediately stood up and embraced my best friend.

-I’m so proud of you, I whispered in their ear.

Everyone soon joined in. We stayed like that until Vee started to feel uncomfortable so they pushed us off and everyone went back their seat to eat dinner. Everyone a part from me. When he came out, it brought back some feelings I had been repressing for a long time.

I went back to my room determined to figure out why my best friend saying they were nonbinary affected me so much. As soon as I entered my room, the truth hit me like a to a bricks: I was nonbinary and I had been suppressing that part of myself for way too long. To be honest, it wasn’t like it surprised me. I had always known that my identity wasn’t fully male. It wasn’t like I was uncomfortable if people called me sir or used he or anything, but part of me also wanted people to use other pronouns as well. In a way, I felt like my identity fluctuated but I was confused as to how exactly. For some reason the thought of questioning my gender was something that scared me. I would have to admit that I wasn’t who I said I was. That I was lying to myself. Which to be honest, shouldn’t be that strange. Right? After all, what else would you expect from the master of deception? It made sense that I would be good at lying. So I decided to do some research because I knew I would go insane if I didn’t. I ended up figuring out that the label that fit what I felt the most was Pangender. As for pronouns, I really wasn’t sure which one to use, so I decided I would try using any to see how I felt. Throughout the next couple of weeks, I slowly got used to feeling comfortable in my identity. I didn’t tell anyone about it though. I was afraid they wouldn’t believe me. Not that I thought any of them would be completely unaccepting, but it was just that they seemed to believe all I could do was lie, that I could never tell the truth. I really wanted to tell someone, anyone really but I was so afraid of their reaction so I just kept it inside.

Jan, Virgil asked sitting on the couch next to me, are you okay?

-I’m fine, I replied. Why are you asking?

-I just feel a lot of anxiety coming from you, they started. So what’s up? You know you can tell me anything right?

I wanted to tell him, but a voice in my head stopped me. Would they be angry at me? Would he think I was just copying them? Even though, I knew Vee wasn’t the type of person to react that way to someone coming out to him, I still couldn’t shake this irrational fear.

-Well, I stated simply, I don’t know where you’re getting that because I’m not anxious at all.

-If you say so, they replied not convinced. Just know I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to.

Then they walked away leaving me to ponder our conversation. I knew he would be accepting of my identity. I mean, they had never been unaccepting of any other parts of me, so why wouldn’t his acceptance also extend to my gender identity? Maybe it was my fear of not being taken seriously because I didn’t have everything figured out yet. That I wouldn’t have an answer if someone asked me what my pronouns were. All I knew was that I didn’t exactly like using any and all pronouns. I wanted one that would encompass all of my identity, but I hadn’t found one that fit me perfectly quite yet. For some reason, figuring that out was really important to me, so I did a lot more research.

I ended up spending more time on my own during the next couple of weeks. All I could seem to do was wallow in my own self pity. Somehow realizing that I was nonbinary didn’t bring me as much joy as you may think it would. On the contrary actually, it only seemed to make me even more ashamed of myself and I wasn’t sure why exactly. Maybe it was because I had always thought that since everyone around me told me I was a man, I had no right to question it. They clearly knew more about me that I did, right? At least that’s what I thought before. At the time, I didn’t know who I was, so I guess when someone told me who they thought I was, I just ran with it because it was easier than taking the time to actually figure out my identity. So in a way, I was glad to finally be allowing myself to explore who I was.

Even though it scared me, I knew I would have to come out to someone at some point. Otherwise, I knew it would prevent me from doing my job well. I couldn’t keep hiding it forever. Doing so would only result in me slowly descending into a pit of self hate until I wouldn’t be able to do the main thing I was created for, which was what I was trying to prevent. “Jeez, I thought to myself, way to be depressing Janus!”

I could feel all my fears come back to the surface of my mind as I knocked on Virgil’s door. “This is it, I thought. You can do it.”

-Jan, they said as he opened his door? What is going on?

-Can I come in, I asked calmly even though I didn’t feel calm at all?

-Sure, he responded leading back to his bed. Are you okay though? You’re very anxious.

I took a sharp breath before speaking.

-Vee, I started, I’m nonbinary.

He didn’t say anything. I told them everything. It took a while but I was glad I did it. When I mentioned my uncertainty about pronouns I wanted to use, Virgil suggested I look into neopronouns. I hadn’t heard of that before so I was interested. He decided to do some research with me at that moment. After spending some time looking at different pronouns, I ended up finding one that I liked a lot: Xe/Xem. As soon as I saw it, it was like everything just clicked. For the first time in a while I felt like I had found something that truly represented me.

-So, Vee asked, do you see any you like?

-Yeah, I answered, I think I like Xe/Xem. Do you think you could try using it in a sentence with my name so I can see how I feel.

-Sure thing, they replied with a smile. Le me just write a little something down.

He took a piece of paper and a pen from his desk and thought a couple seconds before writing something down. They handed it to me but I gave it back. I told him I wanted to hear them say it out loud see what it would feel like to hear someone using use this pronoun for me not in writing.

-This is Janus, he started. xe’s my best friend and has a wonderful personality. That smile of xyrs makes me really happy. I could talk to xem all day even though Xe can be distracted easily. Xe’s a bit of a reserved person but I can honestly say I’m so proud of xem for telling me about xyr identity because I know how hard it was for xem.

I tested to say bit at his words. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to hear that. I couldn’t speak so I just gave them a hug. I felt so lucky to have him in my life. Hearing them use that pronoun for me made me feel so happy. I felt like I had finally figured out who I was. I pulled away after a bit still feeling a bit choked up.

-I, I tried to say but I couldn’t continue. I...

-It’s okay, they said smiling at me. You don’t have to say anything. Just know I’m always here for you no matter what.

We spent the rest of that day watching movies together in his room. In all honesty, I was glad I had told Virgil but I was still apprehensive about how the others would react. Not to mention how Thomas himself would react. Would they be as accepting as Vee? Would they even believe me? They never did seem too pleased anytime I showed up in their side of the mindscape or when I showed up for videos. However, none of them were ever outwardly hateful towards me. Well, a part from Roman giving me some mean spirited nicknames, but those never really affected me much. I just wasn’t sure how they, apart from Virgil and Remus, felt about me.

I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to come out to everyone. I considered doing it in a similar way to how Virgil did it, but it didn’t exactly feel right. A part of me kind of wanted mention it casually and not make it a big deal, but I also knew that if I did that, I may not be taken seriously. Or at least, not as seriously as I wanted to be taken. So I decided to tell everybody the next time we had a meeting to discuss the next video. That way they would all be there so I could get it over with.

I popped up next to Virgil as everyone was in deep discussion about next week’s video. Vee gave me a small smile acknowledging my presence while I waited for the others to notice me which didn’t take long.

-Deceit, Thomas exclaimed when he turned to talk to Virgil. Why are you here?

He didn’t seem to pleased to see me. Oh well, I had come for a specific reason and was determined to do exactly that.

-Don’t worry, I replied calmly. I’m not here to cause you any harm or anything. I just want to share something.

I looked around and saw that they all looked apprehensive. Well apart from Vee who was giving me a reassuring smile.

-And what night that be, Roman asked?

-I’m nonbinary, I explained. I use Xe/xem pronouns.

I closed my eyes for bit bracing myself for the worst. I still didn’t think they’d be nice about it. Where were the: “ Is this a joke?”, “ Are you lying?”, “Why should we trust you?”? I couldn’t hear anyone say any of these things. Instead, I felt a pair wrap around my waist. Shocked, I opened my eyes and saw that Patton was hugging me.

-I’m glad that you felt comfortable enough to tell us that, he said happily.

I hadn’t realized how much I longed for Patton’s acceptance, so hearing him say that meant more to me than I could ever express.

-What, I asked still a bit shocked, really?

-Yes, Logan confirmed turning to me. If you say that this is your identity, then it is. We would have no right to contest it as I would assume that you probably know yourself better than we do.

-So you don’t think I’m lying, I asked again? Or that I’m copying Virgil? You actually believe me?

-Janus, Thomas answered, of course we believe you. Being nonbinary isn’t something that is reserved for only certain types of people. Besides, even though you may represent Deceit, I doubt you’d lie about something so personal. So yes, I’m completely okay with who you are.

I turned to Roman waiting for his reaction.

-It is my pleasure, he started in an very dramatic voice, to be welcoming another nonbinary royalty to our humble family.

I smiled brightly at his words, silently thanking him. All of it was so Roman that it was perfect.

-Does that mean I still get to called you J-anus or Double Dee, Remus popping behind the TV.

I chuckled a bit at that. Of course that’s what he thought about.

-Yes, I stated smiling at him, Remus. You can call me whatever you want.

I knew that even if I tried to stop him, it wouldn’t work. Not that I minded though. I found it endearing in a way. I was glad that my coming out wasn’t such a big deal to everyone. That seemed to ease a lot of my fears. To be honest, even though I was grateful for it, I was still surprised that they all accepted me so easily. I had spent so much time telling myself that no one would believe me when it came to who I was. It was like I didn’t realize that in reality, the only person I needed to prove my identity to was myself.

[shaebyrnes]

Overview/reasoning behind flag: I designed a new aroace flag (with some help from others on arocalypse).  There have been many attempts to make an aroace flag, but many of them end up simply being aro & ace flags merged together without distinctive acknowledgement of being for specifically aroace people, rather than covering anyone who is aspec.  Additionally, it’s important to have a flag which recognizes the intersection of the two identities and how they interact to become its own specific identity. Who this flag represents:   This flag is for anyone who identifies as being in some way both aro and ace, including people on the ace and aro spectrums; therefore it was important to include the grey stripe to cover people on the spectrums. However, it is not meant to represent all aspec people, such as allo ace and aro allos.  It is important to have an aroace flag and also an aspec flag, but those two things are not the same (though there has been much confusion between the two in the past).

Reasoning for color choices: I wanted it to be recognizable on sight as pertaining to ace and aro identities, thus the importance of utilizing both the purple and green.  (the green is the light green from the aro flag, whereas the purple doesn’t match the one from the ace flag since it was modified to make the flag aesthetically appealing).  However, it was important to add the blue to make it distinct from other aro and ace flags, to emphasize the intersection of having both identities.  Including the grey and white from both ace and aro flags also helps with recognizability.  An earlier version also had the black stripe, but it was removed due to looking cluttered.

Color meanings:

Purple- Asexuality; the ace aspect of people’s identities. It also represents ties to the ace community as a whole and relating to ace experiences.

Blue- Intersection of having both ace and aro identities.  This acknowledges how interactions with one community are affected by the other identity, and the challenge of being kinda stuck between the two.  Blue was chosen since both green and purple are secondary colors which result from a mixture with blue.

Green- Aromanticism; the aro aspect of people’s identities. It also represents ties to the aro community as a whole and relating to aro experiences.

White- Unity and inclusion within the community of aroace people while acknowledging the diversity among us.  There are many different ways for people to experience being aroace, but we also have much in common and should have a supportive community for all.

Grey- This represents both the aromantic spectrum and the asexual spectrum to explicitly acknowledge their inclusion.  

[shaebyrnes]

Reblog if you also identify as agender

I’m trying to prove to my parents that I didn’t just “make up” a gender, and that we exist.

[shaebyrnes]

Reblog if you agree, I’m trying to prove a point;

Boys/Men can have depression. Boys/Men can self harm. Boys/Men can have eating disorders. Boys/Men can cry.

I don’t care what wishy-washy bullshit society taught you, males have feelings, males can have problems. Not every anorexic/depressed person is a “teenage white privileged girl who got called fat once so they starve to prove everyone wrong”.