a cancerian girl who loves a bunch of movies and tv shows, wishes life is a wes anderson movie with a dark academian style. [ main blog ]
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you’re sixteen, or seventeen, or twenty-five, and it doesn’t matter anymore, because it all still feels the same
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“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you that he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you didn’t even have a name for.” — Richard Siken, You Are Jeff
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“As I see it, you are living with something that you keep hidden deep inside. Something heavy. I felt it from the first time I met you. You have a strong gaze, as if you have made up your mind about something. To tell you the truth, I myself carry such things around inside. Heavy things. That is how I can see it in you.”
— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84
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VULNERABILITY IN LOVE
Party - Kim Addonizio / Leaving Sonnet - Neil Hilborn / Euphoria / How I Go To The Woods - Mary Oliver / Euripides (trans. Anne Carson) / The Conditional - Ada Limón / Chinese Satellite - Phoebe Bridgers
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“He is very much like the moon in a sense that some parts of him are hidden. But the parts that he does choose to show to the world shine brighter than any other matter in the night sky.”
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euphoria (2019-) // your best american girl - mitski // the body’s alphabet - ann tweedy // harley quinn, animated series (2019-) // i hate everybody -halsey // the umbrella academy (2019-)
on bisexual love
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“I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm, and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. I hope you find someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind. I hope you find someone that can’t escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring.”
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i would give up anything for you, and i wouldn’t give you up for anything.
-ahlwords
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I’m in the mood to read your palms. legs crossed on your carpet, another too specific playlist in the speakers, beats drumming out slow. your left hand cradled in my lap as I search my phone for where I saved lessons on chained life lines. I’m in the mood to tell you your biology’s fortune. how I’ll trace my pinky across the heel of your hand, smile in how far your love line reaches, like it’s stretching past your skin. I’ll tell you about the career you’ll pick up in a year or three, your mount of moon saying you’ll always find contentment in creativity, how your fate and intuition line tangle. maybe I’m just in the mood to trace you – this small city blueprint of your life, where all these engraved roads will take you. how what I mean to say is I hope your future might save a place for me.
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“If you’re not the one I’m with, you’ll be the one I remember.”
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i will hold you in my heart since my arms cannot at this point of time.
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“In ten years, you won’t remember my name. I will be just a tiny puzzle of your youth, a forgotten piece, forgotten kiss, another forgotten snowflake that melted in your hands. And when I will be old and wrinkled sitting in a rocking chair, outside looking at the stars on a summer night, I will remember you and your tender hands, the way your lips felt on mine and the way your eyes reflected those stars.”
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When Franz Kafka said I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself, and Walt Whitman said I cannot say to any person what I hear—I cannot say it to myself—it is very wonderful.
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“you have an important place on this earth. if you are lost, you will find your way again. if you are feeling hopeless, you will find hope again. if you are sad, you will find happiness again. it may not be tomorrow, but one day you will look back and be so glad you kept fighting.”
— shelby leigh
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Everything is more beautiful because we are doomed. You will never be lovelier than you are now. We will never be here again
HOMER, THE ILIAD.
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“Please don’t expect me to always be good and kind and loving. There are times when I will be cold and thoughtless and hard to understand.”
— Sylvia Plath
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