shampoolistic

[shampoolistic]

i don’t think you all have met my these yet. the clay brothers! gerard clay was made in sophomore year and mikey clay was senior year. one could say i improved in that time

[shampoolistic]

saorry i just age regressed by 2 minutes can you repeat that?

[shampoolistic]

[shampoolistic]

It’s always: “cumin smells like armpits” and never “my armpits smell like a delicious and flavorful spice”

[shampoolistic]

strawberry syrup pawjob call that fruit by the foot

[shampoolistic]

[shampoolistic]

I love the word “slimy” to describe despicable actions. You fucked up so bad that you’re covered in the Ooze

[shampoolistic]

This picture from the New York Times makes me feel like a rat that was taken off the streets of London and brought to a lab where I was hypnotized to kill Nigel Farage and then released to fulfill my singular goal. I run up the leg of a reporter and midair we make eye contact as he slowly realizes my intentions

[shampoolistic]

it’s the ass crack of dawn and you’re playing Royal Match. No one on this train wants to be here and you’re getting cucked by the king, milked by the mobile app. And for what?? To help him escape the lava again??? He’ll never learn!!!

[shampoolistic]

Is there anything else I can add? I want the top bar of my phone to be completely full

[shampoolistic]

the opposite of aesthetic, instagram/pinterest food photography is the genre of images found on Wikipedia that look like they were taken with an iPod Touch with the flash on in an otherwise pitch black room

a few of many examples

[shampoolistic]

[shampoolistic]

why does every YouTuber on planet earth have a baby yoda plushie

[shampoolistic]

tragedy + time = comedy. but tragedy - time = all good brother. no tragedy yet. to me that's preferable

[shampoolistic]

this could be the snart of something big

[shampoolistic]

[shampoolistic]

Bill Clinton should divorce Hillary and then come out as a trans woman so he can be the first female president