shanghaixt

[shanghaixt]

gugunaw na pala mundo in 3-5 years nag-law school law school pa ko

[shanghaixt]

I could love you enough for the both of us.

[shanghaixt]

posting this here as a reminder ✊🏼💗

[shanghaixt]

no phone i did not “miss a call” i watched it ring the whole time

[shanghaixt]

[shanghaixt]

Aaaaah if only I don't have to go back to work, I'll stay for another week 🥺

(siguro sulit na rin yung 2 years akong nag-long sa dagat & waves kasi mas na-appreciate ko sya)

Little things ✨💗

wouldn't trade this for anything —AS IN ANYTHING talaga.

[shanghaixt]

me last Nov 2021..... parang I'm dreading busy szn na i miss my tutees. HAHA 🥲

(also parang gusto ko na lang ulit mag-aral huhu cheret)

[shanghaixt]

Isinulat ko to pagkauwi mula sa isang buong araw sa trabaho't nakaririmarim na biyahe pauwi.

Habang nasa grab, nakatanaw sa labas at nagmumuni-muni, napaisip ako: "gusto ko ba talaga itong ginagawa ko?" —hindi ko alam kung bakit, dala na rin siguro ng halos isang buwang inaabot ng madaling-araw sa opisina na walang ibang ginawa kundi tumitig sa mga numero.

Hindi ko binalak kunin ang kursong ito. Naisip ko tuloy ang matagal ko nang pangarap mula pagkabata. Ginusto ko talagang pumasok sa medisina—o di kaya'y maging isang manunulat (ang layo ng relasyon, 'di ba?). Pero unang-una sa lahat, takot ako sa dugo, at pangalawa naman— hindi ako sigurado kung para sa akin ba talaga ang pagsulat.

Ngunit napagtanto kong ang puno't dulo ng kagustuhan kong pumasok sa ganoong klase ng propesyon ay dahil gusto kong magsilbi sa bayan. Siguro dahil namulat ako sa mga gawain ng tiyuhin kong alkalde ng Cainta, napapasama sa mga medical mission ng pinsan kong doktor, mga camp sa simbahan, atbp. Alam ko simula't sapul pa lang, lagi't lagi— ako'y magsisilbi sa bayan.

Naisip ko —kahit hindi planado ang pagtatapos ko ng kursong ito, baka naman may iba pang paraan para maging kakampi ng masa. Baka naman kahit papaano'y makagawa ako ng paraan upang hindi mabigo ang batang minsang nangarap magsilbi sa bayan —kahit gaano pa kahirap itong magiging pasan.

Mas lalo lamang tumatag ang desisyon kong kumuha ng abogasya. Alam kong mahirap— bilang may mga kaibigan akong nauna nang pumasok sa kurso— ngunit ito na lamang ang natatanging papuring maaari kong ibigay sa batang minsang naghangad na maglingkod sa bayan. Maaaring maging alipin ako ng kapitalismo —hindi ko rin mawari, (h'wag naman sana) - ngunit sa isang bagay, sigurado ako: lagi't laging magmamahal, maglilingkod, at magsisilbi sa piling ng masa sa kahit na anong paraan ✊🏼

(ang hirap na pala magsulat ng tagalog —I last did this when I was in high school pa 😭)

[shanghaixt]

Ang dampi sa balat ay lindol sa kaluluwa kapag sanay kang mag-isa.

me az a thirsty ghurl char lang haha

[shanghaixt]

Waaah it's raining! 💙

I'm in a good mood hihihi I really love the sound of rain.

[shanghaixt]

I love making memories but sometimes it's too painful for me —because it's always up for me to remember.

It's just always me that remembers.

[shanghaixt]

I was too afraid to let anyone read what I write so... I decided to share the link to the one I trust most. HAHA kilig meeee first time ko kasing magsulat freely (+ with other people knowing it's me) HAHA I FEEL NAKED 🥲

Good night hihihi ❤️

[shanghaixt]

MID-LIFE CRISIS MALALA

Lately, I’ve been planning my timeline and making schedule on when to take boards, when to start going to law school, even saving to buy a car, etc.

But everything changed when the fire nation attacked charot HAHA

My ninang from UK called the other night asking mama how I’ve been - if I am a CPA already - and if I want to come live with her there. I mean I know it’s a great opportunity - not everyone can have that kind of privilege to just up and go somewhere without having to apply for work first before going.

But what about my plans? What about law school? Naka-ready na nga sagot ko sa LAE interview pag tinanong akong, “why law?” ang sagot ko ay “to serve the people” -- kasi that’s what I really want to do :( But how can I serve the people if I’m miles away? I’m not even sure if I’d wanna take up law if I stayed there for too long. What if I lose sight of my dreams? Because obviously life there would be much more comfortable. What if I wouldn’t want to go back here again and enroll to a law school? What about my friends? Will I be missing too much?

I’m not really comfortable of welcoming big changes in my life because I’m not used to it. I value my career more than anything pero bakit naman to biglaan :( HAHAHA. So siguro ang bottomline ng post na ito ay... inaalala ko lang talaga if I could ever take law once I’m there already. Because of course sino ba naman ako para tanggapin sa Ivy League Unis there diba. (well a girl can dream! :p)

HAY WALA AKONG MENTAL CAPACITY TO PROCESS THESE HUHU all in the midst of busy season talagaaaaa T___T

EDIT: Okay na, na-process ko na. 2024-2025 pa naman so... I have time to prepare myself 🥳

Naisip ko rin naman...

Ang lahat ng takot ay imbitasyon upang maging matapang ✊🏼

Strong tayo kaya natin yarne!!!

[shanghaixt]

Don’t ever let anybody tell you that you have too many cats.

There’s no such thing.

Happy Caturday :)

[shanghaixt]

I DON'T BELIEVE IN SOULMATES

“Do you believe in soulmates?”

A friend asked me this a couple of years back — while she's still seeing her boyfriend at the time.

They've been together for almost 6 years when she asked this and as she told me, she saw a future with him and wanted to build a beautiful family with him. Yes, wanted.

This isn't intentional but she somehow "talked" and made friends with another guy and as it turned out... the time she's been talking with this new guy is the happiest she's been for years. [(agad? char) —they have an eight-year age gap btw, w/c is nice. charot]

She asked me if she should end it with her boyfriend — the one she's been with for six years, travelled to almost anywhere, and basically did everything together just because she found an undeniable spark with a new guy.

She told me there isn't a spark anymore; and there's nothing wrong with her boyfriend; he still does everything for her: cooking, helping with chores, sweet nothings, etc — pero wala na raw talaga for her eh. It's like they've become too comfortable with each other that there isn't anything new to do anymore. In her own words, "Hindi na talaga ako masaya."

Of course, as usual, I'm not confident with the advice I gave her. (HAHA walang ambag talaga xD)

But that’s because I've never been in a long-term relationship myself! My one and only relationship so far just lasted 3 years — and I was still a teenager back then. So I don't have any insight on how partners feel when they've been together for too long.

But our conversation went like this:

"Baka naman nae-excite ka lang? Baka naghanap ka lang ulit ng high school kilig dahil araw-araw mo nang nakukuha yung (ilys) sa boyfriend mo?"

And she replied, "Iba eh. Kahit kay [redacted] hindi ganito naramdaman ko nung una pa lang. Feeling ko soulmate ko sya."

I really didn't agree.

I don't believe in soulmates.

Or more likely, I don't believe that our soulmates should be the ones we end up with.

I, for instance, believe that my soulmate is my best friend. (Hi, Ryona! :p)

But from a romantic viewpoint, I don't think that that's true.

I really thought she's looking at him on rose-colored glasses that she's blinded by the reality. Maybe she's in it for the thrill — and I don't have anything against that.

But to think of someone as your soulmate in just a short period of time... that's the part I disagree with. I mean... HOW??? (well, gotta live with it.)

And maybe I'm wrong...

Because they're getting married this November 2022!!! HAHA

She and her ex had a civil break-up and they've both been feeling that way for a while but they were both afraid to tell each other something about it.

I used to think that when you hit the five-year mark in a relationship, you're in it for good.

And I also used to think that soulmates are a sham.

But my friend proved me wrong. I've never seen her this happy and I'm relieved I didn't tell her to not break up with her ex because they’ve been together for too long.

I'm so glad she's brave enough to know what's right for her and risk everything to try again.

Maybe there are things in life we won't be able to understand until it happens to us.

To find love, among other things —against all odds: maybe that's something I won't understand any time soon :p

(posted with her consent haha)

Pahinging plus one sa wedding! Kidding hehe.

[shanghaixt]

“Many of my movies have strong female leads - brave, self-sufficient girls that don’t think twice about fighting for what they believe in with all their heart. They’ll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a saviour. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” -Hayao Miyazaki

Happy International Women’s Day!