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[shanlulu-writing]

Levi x Reader I am all yours - Part 4

Well.... This was a roller-coaster to write.. The thing with free writing is the characters take you where they want the story to go... so even I'm shocked! Without spoiling the end of the chapter, the story isn't finished. Thank you everyone for your support, and I love all the comments that you leave for me, and I will respond as soon as I am able. Let me know what you think and if you would like to see anything in the next chapter. Also Could you let me know whether you prefer all out smut in stories or more left to the imagination? (This is for all fanfics, not this one) Much Love Lu xxx Warning - Strong Language and Mature themes Part 4 “We need to clean the wound. You don't want to die of sepsis do you?” His voice may have softened slightly, but that still didn't stop you struggling to get away from him. His arm clamps around you tightly even preventing you from squirming, so you resign yourself to fate. You rest your head in your hand in annoyance as he walks you to the medical room...

“What?” You hear Sasha cry out in surprise. Levi drops you down on one of the beds, creating a small cloud of dust to plume into the air around you. You look at your teammates with an expression of exasperation. Jean was silent, with one eyebrow raised.

“Doctor over here as deemed it necessary to diagnose me with death due to a cut on my leg.” You look at your leg again, as much as it hurt, you didn't think that you would die from it. Sasha comes over to have a look and grimaces, while Levi washes his hands.

“I cannot diagnose you with death, however, I can pronounce you dead if you wish.” He answers dismissively. You roll your eyes at him and catch a smile from Sasha as she turns to clean up the medical items she had used to patch Jean up. Jean flits his eyes between you and Levi, obviously suppressing a grin himself.

“I think we should go and see if we can make some tea don't you Jean? Give everyone a pick me up, and get our strength back?” You eye her cautiously as she motions suggestively to Jean to move.

“Right.” Jean gets up and strides out of the room. “Keep her in one piece Levi. We do need to get home.” Levi pays no attention to him as he sifts through the supplies in a cupboard next to the sink. You sigh as you sit in silence, feeling quite awkward, you weren't used to this feeling. He wasn't shouting at you, or making weird comments. In fact, the air was calm, which set you on edge even more.

“Put your leg properly up on the bed.” You do so without complaint and watch as he cleans your wound, hissing when he caught part of your torn skin. “You whine like a girl.”

“If you hadn't noticed, I am a girl.” You retort, frowning.

“Oh, I had. Just like every other male in the corps.” The words were cutting, with a premeditated sting to them.

“Well, I would hope that most people could figure out I was female, Levi. Otherwise, I would really worry about the people who were to lead humanity to salvation. Don't you?” Your frown had not left your face, it was starting to get stupid, did he honestly think that you had been with every single guy who had even looked in your general direction?

“Tsk.” He finished cleaning your wound and bandaged it to the best of his ability. He didn't make much eye contact with you at all, almost as if he was avoiding you or your questioning. You swing your legs round off the bed and stand up gingerly. The bandage wasn't too tight and seemed to stay put.

“Levi, can I ask you a question?” You astonished yourself that you were being polite to him. So was he, as it was the first time you saw him make eye contact with you for a while. His blank expression doesn't change but he nods as he washes his hands again after cleaning up. “What did I do wrong earlier? I thought I had done everything we had been trained to, but you were seriously pissed at me. I want to know why.”

He stopped what he was doing, placing his hands on the sink and leant on them. His head bowed, his hair in front of his eyes and he gave an audible sigh. He was acting strange like he was fighting with something, or maybe trying to stop himself from shouting at you.

“You know what forget I asked-”

“No.” He said sharply. He didn't move from his position, he could have been a statue. “You didn't do anything that I would not have done. The reason I was pissed with you... Even if Erwin has told you that we are equals, you, all of you, are my responsibility. I was not able to do what I should have. I was angry with the situation.”

There was something that you had never heard in his voice, there was sadness. He actually had real feelings, and as much as the child in you was giggling at the revelation, you couldn't help but feel the tug on your heart. He was hurting. Whatever had happened in his life before this point, the events of today must have triggered, a painful memory.

“Okay... Is that it?” You were careful with your tone.

“No. I had already told Erwin that I didn't want you on the mission. However, it seems through all my best efforts, you are here, injured, and it is no one else's fault but mine.” You were astonished to see this side of him. You disregarded a lot of what he said as wallowing, but you saw some real emotion there, even if it was just in his voice. You quietly walk over to him, with a new sense of empathy for the idiot who had made your life a misery and place your hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

“Do Not Touch ME!” He roars at you, spinning on the spot and grabbing your wrist tightly. “Don't fucking dare do that again, brat!” You are so surprised by it, something about his reaction really cuts through you. You were so stupid to think that you had actually made a connection with him, to think that you might have caught him with his guard down. It was rare that you offered a hand of comfort, but to be so harshly rebuked for it hurts you deeply. Before you can stop yourself you feel your eyes well up with tears.

“Let me go.” You whisper angrily through tears that were now falling down your cheeks. You wrench your arm away from him and run out of the room. That was it, he had done enough, that was his last chance. You stupid fucking idiot, a pathetic moment of weakness, and he just threw it back in your face. Serve you right!

You run down the hall, and throw yourself into a room and slam the door behind you. You sink down to the floor and sob. Everything that had happened came flooding out as if the barriers had been opened, and with your legs pulled up to your chest you cry into your arms. You hear Jean call for you after hearing the commotion, and listen to Levi making up some crap about you having an emotional outburst because of the Titan and to leave you alone.

After a while of crying, you shake yourself from your self-pity and put on your professional face. You go to one of the bathrooms and wash your face. Your eyes were puffy a blotchy, from what you could see in a cracked mirror on the wall. Gorgeous. You sigh, as you walk out and make your way down to the stables. As you pass the front door, you turn on your heels, remembering your items were still in the room off to the right. You quickly walk in and pick up your bag, and go to leave again.

“(First name)” You hear the cold tone of the Captain. You do not respond, or even acknowledge he even spoke. You continue out of the main building without uttering a word, you pass Jean who starts to speak to you, and stops when he sees your ashen stare. You pack your items back into the saddle bags, stroke your horse and check the reins. All good. You were ready to go.

“Er, hey. Are you okay?” Jean asks quietly.

“I'm fine.” You respond, without any emotion in your words. “Are the rest of you ready to go?”

“Yeah, Sasha is just getting Hanji's notes now and then we are all set.” Jean seems taken aback by your blank expression and short answers.

“Good. We will leave as soon as she has them.” You mount your horse and trot out of the stables. You shift in your saddle as you feel your wound on your leg hurting in that position, it was going to be a long ride home if it hurt the whole way back. Jean readied Sasha's and his own horse and waited with you in the courtyard. Sasha soon joins you and mounts up.

“Where is your gear (first name)?”

“I have lent it to Levi to use, as he is obviously more qualified than I to use it, and seeing as his is broken at the moment, I am left with no choice.” Your tone was matter-of-fact and to the point. You see Sasha frown and look at Jean, he shrugs and looks back to you.

“Look, whatever argument you and Levi had, don't take it out on us.” You look back at them, still feeling hollow from the crying. You didn't want to act so cold, but you didn't want to end up crying again either. To act so weak, to be taken down so easily by him, and it wasn't just him that you were upset about. You had to at least give yourself some credit, it was just the last straw, holding everything in for years and not truly dealing with it, it was bound to happen at some point, just a shame it had to be him to break the proverbial camels back.

“Sorry, I just don't feel like talking at the moment.” Levi walked out, went to the stables and soon returned with his own horse. He was wearing your gear but still held the same disinterested expression, as always. You turn away from them, and set off at a slow trot, hearing them behind you, you quicken your pace and ride as fast as you can back to headquarters.

~

You sigh deeply as you embrace the hot water pouring over you. You had needed this, it felt like a million tiny fingers massaging your body. You had ridden hard, to the point where you had almost broken formation on several occasions, and in complete silence, much to the annoyance of the Captain. People had avoided you when you walked in, your aura must have screamed 'leave me alone' and they had thankfully obliged.

You rouse yourself from the soft caress of the water and get out wrapping a towel around you. You dry off to the point where you can put your underwear on and cover up again with the towel. Walking out into the dorm, you see it's empty, and you are glad. The last thing you wanted was to be harassed by stupid questions. You pull your trousers on, under the safety of your towel and do up the button. You are just about to throw on your top when you hear the door open and someone walk in.

“(first name) I wanted to speak to you.” You groan, recognising the voice.

“Captain Levi, I would like you to leave, I am still half undressed and I have no want to talk to you.” You feel your annoyance rise at his presence, you make sure he knows of your displeasure. He walks further into the room, ignoring what you had just said.

“I would like to explain myself.” His tone, even being monotone was not harsh, you raise an eyebrow.

“I don't care what you have to say. You made yourself perfectly clear at the outpost. I don't care what you went through, your attitude stinks, when all I was doing was trying to do was help.” His eyes harden.

“You will listen to what I have to sa-”

“(first name)!” You hear as Eren enters the room, interrupting Levi, he glides past him with ease and walks straight up to you, completely oblivious that you were still only wearing underwear and towel on your top half. “I'm so glad you are back home safe.” He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you into an embrace, with his head nuzzled into your shoulder. You try to prise yourself from his grasp, shocked as you were at the display of affection, he was warm against your cold naked shoulders. Eren lets you go and places a chaste kiss on your cheek, you flush instantly. “I am really glad you are back! I'm going to run some errands for Erwin, but once I have finished, we should have a catch-up.”

He winks at you and walks away, staring triumphantly at Levi, who, when your eyes fall on him, was seething with anger. His fists were clenched, turning his knuckles white, he was tight-lipped and glaring at you with malice.

“What?” He just stood there looking at you, not saying a word. “Levi, seriously, what is the matter?”

“You. You just don't know when to fucking quit, do you?” You frown, he was back to his old self again, Mr Happy-Go-Fucking-Lucky.

“Quit what? I didn't do anything! Why do you believe that I instigate everything? I was in here getting changed, minding my own business. You were the one who waltzed in here unannounced.” You fold your arms defiantly.

“You and Eren-”

“Let me stop you there. There is nothing going on between me and Eren. Even if there was, it has nothing to do with you.” With that he tutted and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him with a thud, leaving you completely stunned with what had transpired. What the heck was going on? What was Eren playing at? You needed to have words with him.

You quickly change into a long-sleeved dark green top, not exactly standard issue, but while you waited for your shirt to be cleaned, it was the closest thing you owned. Shoving on your jacket and scarf, you scurry out of the room in search of Eren. It didn't take you long to find him, in fact, he seemed to be loitering outside the mess hall.

“Eren.” He looked at you with a warm smile. “We need words.” You grab the arm of his jacket and take him down one of the quieter corridors away from the hall. He eyes you cautiously, and genuine concern. “Look, I don't know what you're playing at, but pulling a stunt like that is only going to get me more shit from Levi.”

“On first name terms now, huh?” His face changes to an expression of discontentment. He folds his arms in annoyance.

“No, don't you start as well. Eren, please, the last time you played on it, I almost ended up getting killed or don't you remember?” You place a hand on his folded arms and move into his line of vision. “Oi! Don't start acting like him! You aren't a spoilt brat!”

“I just can't stand the way he treats you. I was coming to find you anyway, and as he just so happened to be there, I wanted him to see what treating you right actually means.” His eyes soften, and he smiles at you again.

“Aw, that's cute and all, and I appreciate what you were doing but please try to tone it down around him, as it's only going to put me in the shit and make my life worse.” You smile at him, feeling warm inside, his concern for you really made you happy.

“And you just look too good in just a towel.” He quipped, moving out of arms reach, laughing as he ran down the hallway. You chase after him, yelling to come back and let you smack him, funnily enough, he didn't do as you said.

After a while you lose him, and bending over, with your hands resting on your thighs, you breathe heavily. As much as he was a pain, he really was fun to hang around, but that kiss on your cheek made you feel weird. It wasn't bad, but it just didn't feel right, Eren was your friend and you never really saw him as anything more than that. Your mind darts to Levi, not that he would ever believe you.

Why would you need to justify that to him anyway? It's not like you had feelings for him.....Right?

“(last name)” You straighten from your resting position and see Commander Erwin standing in front of you. You salute, as is required of a Cadet. “At ease. I wanted to speak to you. Would you please join me in my office.” You gulp and nod, and begin to follow him. What had you done wrong now? Levi had probably been spouting shit about you again, no doubt. Even now he was still making life hard for you, but if he was involving Erwin, then he was stepping it up a notch.

“Please sit.” You sit down in his office as he closes the door behind you. “I know you are probably wondering why I called you here.” You nod and wait anxiously for what he had to say. “I would like to say well done for your work on the mission. If it hadn't been for you, then we would have lost Captain Levi, and probably the rest of the team.”

“Oh, I didn't do anything that we hadn't been trained to Sir.” You explain quickly.

“No, but your quick thinking made sure we had no losses, and that shows that you really are an asset to the Corps. However..” Here it comes! “The interactions with Captain Levi leave much to be desired. It has caused a lot of disruption to the workings of the squad, and as much as it saddens me, I think it would be best to transfer you to either the Military Police or the Garrison.”

“No!” You gasp and leap from your seat. “No, sir! You can't do that! I love it here! I would die for any of my teammates if it meant saving even one life! It wasn't that way when I first joined, but now things have changed. I cannot leave.”

“I am sorry, but I have to do what is best for the squad, not just by you. You and Captain Levi should be kept away from each other at all costs, and the only way we can do that is transfer you. I understand that it is not all your fault, Levi is as much to blame, but we cannot afford to lose Levi from the front lines.” You feel the tears fall down your mortified face.

“When do I go?” You ask quietly.

“Tomorrow. Again, I am sorry.”

“May I be dismissed?” He nods, as you blink through your tears. You slowly walk out the door and close it behind you. You feel your world shattering in front of you, it felt like you were dying a death of heart and mind. You cover your mouth to stifle a sob and begin to run down the hallway, narrowly missing Levi in the corridor, presumably on his way to the Commander's office. You didn't know where you were going, but away, away from all of this, away from everyone.

You keep running until you are outside and hidden in a small thicket of trees. It was quiet here, and backing into a tree you fall to the ground, weeping miserably. It felt like your heart was pouring out of you, your soul disappearing with every sob, this is what death must feel like. Levi got his wish, he had completely finished you off.

You had never felt this way before, even when your family had been killed after the onslaught of Wall Maria. Their loss had been hard to bear, but you knew that in the end, they were finally free. This was different, this was having your living breathing, slightly strange adopted family ripped away from you. To have that snatched away because of someone's dislike for you was just too much.

Not long after, you feel hands reach along your arms and pull you from where you were sitting. You fall into their arms, uncaring as to who, or why they had come to you. It didn't matter anymore. You feel the arms wrap around you tightly, their body warm, and heart beating steadily. Your eyes stayed shut, wondering whether you were in the arms of an angel, ready to take you away. A little over dramatic, a little voice in your head whispers, which is soon drowned out with the noise of more sobs. You must have stayed there for what felt like hours, really in truth it was probably only half an hour, just being cradled and you felt no need to see who was holding you. In fact, it was probably better that way.

Your sobs had quieted to irregular breathing, and your mind starts to clear. You become more aware of your surroundings and shift in your position. You realise the only one who would sit like this with you is Eren, of course, it would be, he was such a good friend. Your eyes flutter open, the sky was dark now, having just turned to dusk. You raise your head.

“L.Levi?” You stammer. A rush of emotions wash over you; fear, anger, sadness, none of which are good, apart from the strangest one which lingered behind, curiosity. “What... What are you doing?”

“I was hoping you would listen to me now.” You glare at him weakly, not moving from your cradled seating.

“Taking the advantage I see.” You sigh and wipe the dampness from your face, feeling disheartened it wasn't Eren. “It doesn't matter what you have to say, Levi. Erwin is sending me away.” You feel him tense unexpectedly.

“Yes, I am aware.” He says distantly.

“Look if you bothered to hold me like this, at least act like you give a shit. You are the reason this has all happened. I am losing everything again because you can't get a grip.” You feel yourself start to well up again, you wipe your eyes again instinctively, trying desperately to save face. Not that there was much point, considering you had just spent the best part of an hour crying.

“I don't like that it is happening. It was never meant-” You shift to look at him directly, your temper becoming hard to keep under wraps.

“It doesn't matter whether you meant to do it. You orchestrated all of this! Think about this logically, this was bound to happen. Erwin wasn't going to stand for it much longer.” You watch as his head falls, hiding his features. He seemed really odd again, and even though he wasn't shouting at you, you didn't really like it.

“I did it to protect you.”

“Protect me?!” You explode, standing up in the same instance. “Protecting me does not usually include trying to get that person killed or thrown off the squad! Protecting someone is making sure they don't get hurt and keeping them safe.”

“That is what I tried to do, Idiot.” He stands up, and looks at you intently, his eyes void of any expression. It makes you even angrier, if he was here to comfort you, he was doing a really bad job.

“Well, a good fucking job you did there!” You growl at him. “I can't actually believe you. If this is your way of protecting me... Wait, why are you trying to protect me?”

“It doesn't matter why. My reasons are my own. I will not have you interrogate me over this.” All feeling had gone from your heart, you felt numb. Levi was just rubbing salt in the wound. You stride up to him and slap him.

“Don't fucking bother.” He grabs your hand, and pulls you closer to him, winding his second arm around your waist.

“Brat. Listen.” You try to escape from his iron grip without success. “I did this, against my better judgement.” He relinquishes your wrist, slides his hand behind your neck and places a kiss on your lips. Your eyes widen in shock, but you cannot move. It was happening again. This guy was in desperate need of a psychiatrist. It was different from the last one, almost tender. Even though this was much more enjoyable than the last one, you pull away.

“What are you doing?!” You try to lean away from him.

“As I said, going against my better judgement.” His eyes lock with yours, his gaze almost searching for something and goes to kiss you again. You shake yourself away, even though the feeling of kissing like this was better than you had imagined.

“Levi, stop. You can't keep doing this. You can't take what isn't given and expect something in return.” He releases you abruptly, his eyes hardening with a furrow on his brow. He turns from you and begins to walk out of the thicket.

“If that is what you chose then so be it, brat.”

“Chose what?” You call out without a clue as to what he meant. You received no response.

~

“He said what?!” You hear Eren and the rest of the table shout in horror.

“He can't transfer you!” Sasha exclaims. “You saved our lives, and you are one of us!” You look around the table, all of their faces were the same, shocked and unbelieving.

“Well, It is happening. Nothing that can be done about it. I leave first thing in the morning.” You lower your head, it was here that you felt the happiest, where you realised you had true friends. Armin places his hand on your arm and rubs it gently.

“At least you won't have to deal with Titans on the front lines anymore.” You knew he was just trying to comfort you, but it still didn't lessen the blow.

“Armin, she never had a problem with that in the first place.” Mikasa joins in. “Look (first name). Maybe after a little while, you can transfer back after it has quietened down. Then you can just come back.”

“It's all his fucking fault.” You notice Eren glaring at the Captain at the other end of the hall. “I have a right mind to tell him to fucking leave!” You watch as Jean places a forceful hand on his shoulder to make sure that he doesn't move.

“There's no point Eren. It isn't Levi's decision, and they would probably just kill you if you started acting out.” Jean reasoned.

“Look, there's no point debating the issue. I'm leaving, I cannot change that. No one can, but I just wanted to say thank you to all of you, for being here for me. I never thought that I would have people who care for me, and I just wanted to let you know that I really treasure every one of you.” You get teased for being mushy and sentimental, but they manage to make you laugh. Something that only they could do. They really were special.

You retire to your dorm early to pack your things, a few girls came in and out to pick things up and wish you farewell as you were leaving early the next morning. It was harder than you thought, your personal effects only amassed the size of a satchel and you sat on the bed hoping to wake from this terrible nightmare.

Your thoughts turn to Levi, his cold eyes and his tight-lipped expression. His unwavering nerve to destroy everything that you held dear. Your hands clench at the thought, wanting to smack him all over again, and then out of nowhere, you feel his arms around you again, holding you gently. His soft lips on yours, hungry for more, it was more than you could handle. Your mind was full of conflicted feelings, putting it down to the fact that you hadn't really had attention like that, ever, was the only course of action. He bamboozled you, and he knew it.

“Looks like you're busy packing.” You raise your eyes to see Levi standing in the doorway. He glances over your bag and walks into the room. “Not much to pack?”

“No. Not really, all I have are memories really.” You say solemnly. “Is there something I can do for you, Captain?” You notice a slight shift in his aura, and muse that he was a little uncomfortable. He stands more rigidly than normal, just generally looks awkward, you tilt your head to the side and try and work out what he is holding behind his back.

“I wanted to give you this.” He hands you a parcel, wrapped in stereotypical brown paper. You raise an eyebrow at him. “It's a book.” He adds quickly. “You will be travelling by cart back to the city. I believe this will help pass the time.” You gaze up at him, trying not to laugh at how strange he was acting, but you could see that he was trying his utmost to be nice, it must have been very painful for him.

“Does it hurt?” You ask, masking a smile.

“Does what hurt?” He sounded confused, once again your humour was wasted on him as looks at you puzzled.

“Taking the stick out your ass.” You laugh as you watch his eyes darken again, you did so enjoy annoying him, maybe a little too much.

“No more than constantly dealing with you, brat. Good Riddance.” You watch as he storms out of the room, this was becoming more common place than him shouting at you these days. He couldn't take a joke, what a bore. One point to you at least. You sigh, good riddance, huh? Well good-fucking-bye to him too.

You spend the rest of your evening tucked away in your dorm, and eventually after tossing and turning you fall asleep. You dream of Titans and Levi. Of him shouting at you, and in your final dream, eventually suffocating you. You wake with a start and find it is early morning, you rub your eyes as the sun filters down into the room. You go over all of the night's dreams and shudder, they hadn't been pleasant.

You make yourself get out of bed and dress in your uniform. You hear a thud on the floor and see the book, from Levi, still tied in its wrapping, and you bend down to pick it up, running your thumb over the top before throwing it into your bag.

Everyone was still asleep when you exited the dorm and made your way down to the kitchens. You were greeted by the cooks who had lovingly prepared you a small packed breakfast and were given a fond farewell. Your heart warmed at the gesture, and you thank them profusely. You leave not long after and walk out into the courtyard. You missed the place already and wondered who would eventually take over your bunk. You walk over to the cart, which was already being packed by members who were journeying back to the city. You shove your bag in, and help them with the bags and other items that would be going with you, you ended working up quite a sweat.

“(first name)!” You turn to see Eren running across the cobbles, and collides with you in an enormous hug. “I didn't want you to leave without saying goodbye... We all didn't.” You look past him and see your friends walking behind him, smiling, they were sad smiles, but they had come to wave you off.

“Thank you, everyone. It means so much that you came.” Sasha offers her arms to you, trying to hold back tears. You embrace her tightly, as only friends would, and feel another pair of arms around you, Armin, had decided to hug you at the same time. Mikasa rolls her eyes, and very unlike her, joins in, shortly followed by Eren. Jean rolled his eyes at you all, smiles and added his arms to the bundle of people. You all laugh after a while, as you break away.

“I will miss you all.” “C'mon (last name). It's time to go.” You give them all another hug, and see Erwin saluting you in the distance, as you get onto the cart you return the gesture. Your eyes scan the courtyard, no sign of Levi, and for some reason, your heart sinks. It would have been nice to get the last word in before you left. The cart rolls off down the path with your friends waving behind. You take one last look at your headquarters and are shifting to sit comfortably when you notice someone standing at one of the windows. It was Levi. You couldn't see him greatly well from this distance but you knew it was him, the hairs on the back of your neck prickled. He didn't move from where he was, he just seemed to be watching you. You give a wave, directed for him, even if he had made your life a misery, things wouldn't be the same without him in it. “Goodbye, Captain Levi.”

I will miss you....

[shanlulu-writing]

Levi x Reader I am all yours - Part 3

So here is the next part. Woohoo! This one has been quite hard to write as my CFS has really kicked in, but its here at least. This one is just filling out the next chapter. I hope you like, please comment and let me know your thoughts. You know I love it when you do. Thank you to all those who have supported me so far in writing this, and I will be back on it as soon as I start feeling better. Much love to you all xxx WARNING - Swearing from the outset. Part 3 “Ahem, Levi. A word.” The kiss stopped, and you turn your head to see Erwin. You watch Levi walk off still giving you an angry glare.

What the actual fuck?

You take a deep sigh of relief as you see them walk away. You needed air, to blow everything that had just happened away and you make your way outside. He kissed you. As in 'full on kissing' kissing, what the hell was that about? Your brain hurt as you try to come up with a reason for the way he was acting. It was so conflicted. On one hand he was a complete fucking maniac, and yet he had tried made sure you were okay in his own weird little way.

Were the rumours right? You couldn't think like that. He had treated you so badly, you couldn't possibly forgive him for what he had done. If you hadn't defended yourself you wouldn't be alive now. You were sure of that.

The wind blew around you as you reach the courtyard. You really should have put your cloak on before you came out. You wrap your arms around you as you walk along the path and you hear the horses whinny as the wind rattles the doors of the stables. You deviate from your undecided destination, and steal yourself inside. It was fairly warm in here, the horses paced around, obviously feeling unsettled. You speak calmly to them, giving each a pat or stroke, and you notice that it seems to soothe them.

Helping them calm down settled your nerves, and you walk past Captain Levi's horse, its dark eyes staring at you blankly. Like owner like horse. You watch him intently, and he whinnies again as another gust bashes against the walls. So it was his horse that was getting all flustered because of the wind. You slowly open the door to his berth, and walk over to him. He was nervous, so you talk to him in hushed tones, sending him reassurance, and you pat his side. He really was a beautiful horse, and definitely cream of the crop. You feel him shivering, and you frown, the horses should have been accustomed to the cold by now, they were bred for it, among other things. Searching round you find his winter coat, throw it over his back and fasten it round his neck. He looks at you and you sense he is thanking you. You were definitely going mad, the horse would start talking to you in a minute. You stroke his mane and pick up a brush and gently groom him.

“Its okay boy, I feel the cold too.” He shakes his head and nibbles at your jacket, you laugh as it takes you by surprise. “Haha, I don't think that's very tasty.” He nuzzles against your side, and you stroke his forehead lovingly. It was true, animals really did know how to make you feel better.

“He likes you.” You look up from where you were standing, and watch as the familiar figure walks towards you.

“Thanks.” You say flatly, not wanting to speak to him. “I hope you had a nice chat with Erwin.”

“I wouldn't call it that. He wasn't very happy, especially when I told him how much trouble you had been.” You pause what you're doing, and glare at him, just fucking typical for him to completely twist things in his favour. You look away from him and keep petting the horse, you weren't going to dignify him with a response. Captain Levi seemed to become annoyed at your silence, but you didn't care, he was not worth the effort. “Tsk. I forgot to mention you have no fucking manners.”

“Okay, did you also mention you have been a complete and utter jerk the past few months, and, oh, that you tried to kill me?” You feel you anger rising again, you had tried so hard to keep it under wraps, but he just knew how to piss you off. He just stares at you his eyes hard, face unmoving and he shrugs.

“That is neither here nor there.”

“You have got a fucking nerve. You treat me like shit for as long as I have been here, punish me at every given opportunity, try to kill me, isolate me from my friends and then on top of that you have the fucking audacity to think you have a right to kiss me. I mean, how fucking dare you!” You shake as the adrenaline rages through your body. Picking up one of the grooming brushes from the shelf you throw it at him, he anticipates your move, and elegantly moves out the way. The brush makes its way to the doorway and narrowly misses the new occupant of the stables.

“Commander Erwin. I-” You quickly apologise before being cut off.

“That is quite enough (last name).” He walks further into the stables and casts Levi a knowing, disdainful glance from the corner of his eye. “I hear that you two have been causing a fair amount of trouble.” You stand there feeling extremely ashamed of yourself, only turning to anger when you see Captain Levi's eyes smirking victoriously. “That includes you Levi. You have been running this poor girl through the ringer. I think the least you can do is apologise, don't you?” The Captain's eyes widen at being openly reprimanded and he looks to Commander Erwin with a look of pure astonishment. Erwin motions to you with his eyes, and you hear Captain Levi growl as he turns back to you.

“I apologise Cadet (Last name)” You hold a smirk back when you notice he said it with gritted teeth; you find it so highly amusing, you have to put a hand over your mouth to cage a laugh. Erwin gives you a sideways smile, he seems to be enjoying this as well.

“Come, Levi. Why so formal? You weren't so proper when you had her pinned up against the wall a few minutes ago.” You choke on air and feel your cheeks burning. Did he really just say that? You dart your eyes to the Captain. You see a faint hue of pink on his cheeks, and he bows his head to cover his eyes.

“Of course, Erwin. (First name), is that adequate?” You can sense from his sullen tone that he was feeling very uncomfortable, you totally knew how that felt. It was strange hearing your name being said by him, you preferred it a lot more to brat or idiot. Why did Erwin draw attention to how he found you? Why did he even mention it? Was it his way of pulling Captain Levi into line? Either way, all of this was a complete revelation to you. The Captain obviously respected Erwin, that much was evident, you didn't think that he would bow down to anyone else like this.

“It will do. Now (last name). I wanted to have a word with you.” You gulp, and nod cautiously. “I hear that you did very well in your training the other day. In fact not only did you best Kirstein, you bested Levi too.” You hear him chuckle.

“I wouldn't say that” Captain Levi retorted.

“I would. From all reports; she was completely incapacitated due to being in a suppressive choke hold, and still managed to disable you. At the end of the day Levi, she was the last one standing, she won that match fair and square.” He looks back to you. “Honestly, I never thought I would see the day that Levi got beaten by one of our new recruits.” This brought a reaction from Levi that was halfway between a scoff, and choking on his own ego. “Either way, due to your impressive display, I wanted to ask you personally for your participation in our next mission.” You eyes widen.

“It is only a small operation, a four man team needs to go one of our outposts, not far from here, and pick up some of Hanji's notes that she left behind from our last mission. It shouldn't pose too much danger, and I am sure that you will be able to handle it. It would also mean that you go into the same ranks as Jaegar, Alert and Kirstein etcetera.”

Your mouth gapes, does this mean you were effectively being promoted from newbie status? There was so much to think about. He was serious, he wanted you to go on a mission, and go out there with the titans. You may even get your wish of being trodden on by a Titan after all.

“I don't think that is such a good idea.” Captain Levi interjects, there is something in his eyes which you cant make out, he seems agitated with the news, and on all accounts, quite panicked. He flits his eyes to you, almost assessing what your answer will be and you just stand there not really sure what to say or do. “She doesn't have enough field training for this!”

“Well, that is the reason why you will be heading the team Levi. However, I do think she is more than capable of holding her own. She has already shown us that she doesn't flinch when it comes to her being face to face with a titan. She has good accuracy with her blades and is one of the better balanced ones with the 3dmg.”

He would be coming with you? You finally thought that you had found safety in Erwin, but he was throwing you out to the wolves again. You sigh and nod, at least he acknowledged your hard work. You watch Captain Levi, was he angry again? You see his fist clench and release again. What was he pissed about now? Because he would be working with you? Or that it had been made official that you beat him in a fight?

“Ah, also, Levi, even though you will be heading this team. I think it would be best to see it as a four man squad, rather than a trio with a leader. I would like to see you go out there as equals, I think after the recent displays, it would be best to show the cadets that you aren't, how did you put it (last name)? Yes that's it, 'a complete jerk'.” You chuckle, something about Erwin saying it, made it even funnier. Captain Levi glares at you from underneath his eyebrows, which you ignore, turning your head to look at anything else.

“Tsk.” Is that all he really had to say? You could see that there was something more going on here. What it was, you were definitely not privy to. Go out as equals? Erwin wanted to make sure that he couldn't use his rank against you? It was a dangerous plan at any rate, you weren't going to be safeguarded by anyone else.

“Commander? Who else will be going on the mission?” You ask meekly. You almost wanted him to say Eren, though in the same breath, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. Eren was so protective, and Captain Levi was so, well... Levi, that there would be more danger from them than the titans.

“I have selected Blouse and Kirstein. They need a little more field experience, but they are solid team themselves. No, Levi; I do not want any more arguments from you. I have already told you once, I will not repeat myself. Do not make me embarrass you further today.”

You watch as Captain Levi drags his teeth over his bottom lip in an attempt to stop himself from snapping back at his Commander. They had obviously had some harsh words when Erwin had dragged him off. The thought of having to spend time with him officially worried you, but orders were orders, and at least you had Sasha and Jean with you.

“One more thing. I think it would be best for both of you to cool off. Stay away from each other for a few days, the mission is in three days time, so try your best to steer clear of each other.” What a strange request, but you felt it was actually a very good idea, it meant you had space to talk and be with your friends and get some sort of normality back before venturing out. Commander Erwin turns on his heels and leaves you alone with Captain Levi.

“Well your horse seems to have calmed down now, so I'll get going.” You walk past him, making your way as quickly as possible. He catches you arm firmly and you turn to him in surprise.

“Don't do anything stupid.” You look at him in puzzlement. “I mean it, Br.... (first name)” He lets go of you and then makes his own way out of the stables leaving you more confused than when you had entered. He had called you by your first name again, you hated to admit it but you rather liked how it sounded coming from him. Strangely it gave you a weird sense of acceptance, even if the first time had been forced and probably meant anything but.

You shut the door behind you and scan the area for your teammates, and find they were sitting in the courtyard chatting. The wind had died down, and the sun was peeking weakly through the clouds. You couldn't help but smile at them, they really had showed you how much they cared, even Mikasa, she had bothered to ponder about a situation you were in and given it real thought. That was something quite phenomenal.

“(first name)!” You hear Armin beckon you over. You make your way over to them, and sit down on the wall just behind them. The faces looking at you were mixed with anticipation and worry, you laugh at your audience.

“You will never guess what happened!” You stop, you weren't going to tell them about the kiss, no way. “I think Erwin ripped Mr Stick-up-his-Ass a new one!” You couldn't help but giggle as you hear the gasps sound around you.

“So what did he say?”

“I didn't hear the actual conversation, but Captain Levi tried to make out that it was me causing all the problems. I don't think Erwin believed him though. They both spoke to me in the stables, and he made the Captain apologise.”

“What?! He knows how?” Sasha squealed, she really was excitable. “What happened next?”

“Please tell me he got kicked by a horse” Eren asked dismissively, you look at him with a heavy heart, he really wasn't happy.

“No Eren, he didn't, something much better. Erwin asked me to go on a mission to pick up Hanji's notes in a four man squad.”

“Yeah, we got told about that last night. Didn't realise you were coming along with us.” Jean commented, seemingly as uninterested as Eren.

“But did he tell you that even though the Captain is coming, he isn't leading us?” That made everyone stop what they were doing and pay undivided attention to you. “He has been told in no uncertain terms that we are to all go as equals.”

“WHAT!?” The chorus was hilarious to your ears.

“You don't mean that he isn't going to be bossing us about all mission?” Sasha asks in disbelief.

“That's exactly what I mean. You have no idea how pissed the Captain was!” You laugh again, the whole situation made you feel like you were soaring through the sky, you felt so happy, you had all your friends around you and you finally have one up on Mr Bipolar.

“I still don't like it. You are going to be alone with him and away from any help, he could easily pull the same stunt over again and leave you out there to die.” You sigh as you notice Eren standing with his arms folded, you hop off the wall and rub his arm. “Eren, it will be okay. I have Jean and Sasha with me. Nothing will happen. I promise.”

“I hope for your sake it doesn't.” You roll your eyes and sit down with Sasha and Jean to talk about the upcoming mission, and go over the details that they had already been given.

~

It had been a long day, and you were curled up in your bed. Most of the girls were already asleep, and you stare blankly at the wall, thinking on everything that had happened. Every reasoning about how the Captain had acted just left more questions, it was hopeless. You shift, tucking your feet further into the covers, when you feel your mattress dip, your covers lift up and someone slip into the bed next to you. You whip your head round in fear, when you see Sasha's familiar face looking at you and you relax.

“Hey. There was something I wanted to ask you.” She whispers in an attempt to not to wake the others. “It feels like you left something out of your story earlier. What was it?” You grimace, you really didn't want to let anyone know what really happened. If she knew and anyone found out you would have to explain something that you didn't understand; not something you wanted to do.

“Sasha, just leave it.” You murmur.

“No, I can tell its eating you up. You gave me your dinner, that's not like you at all.” You sigh, you can see real concern in her eyes, this must be what having a friend feels like.

“Okay. Don't freak out. He kissed me.” She gasps, and you put a finger to your mouth to quiet her. “It was really weird, like he did it because he was so angry with me.” You continue to whisper. “ I don't know why he did it so don't ask me why. Erwin caught us, just before he pulled him aside.”

“Oh my god! I cant believe it.” You try to hush her again.

“You must keep this to yourself. I don't want to have to explain everything to people, so please, please don't say anything!” You can see her eyes shining and her mindless grin even in the darkness.

“I promise, I promise. Did you like it?” You are completely caught off guard with the question. Had you? You had been shocked but you hadn't really given the experience much thought. You could say it was fairly passionate, he was pissed off for one thing, but he had pinned you up against the wall, and had kissed you quite forcefully. You feel your body shiver at the thought and pull the covers over yourself further, hoping it is the cold night air.

“I don't know.” Your brain was desperately trying to keep up with all the thoughts running round your head. On the logical side of your brain you were still angry with the way you had been treated, you were scared of him, and quite rightly. On an emotional level, your thoughts were not so clear, that kiss -even being as rough as it was- had played on your mind since it happened.

“Well either which way, I think he likes you, even if he is really crap expressing it.”

“That's putting it mildly.” You laugh under your breath.

You talk about the impending mission for a little while longer, Sasha retreats to her own bed and as you drift off to sleep your thoughts are filled with the Captain.

~

Three days later....

You had slept badly, your slumber filled with tense dreams that you couldn't remember. You had woken early, and checked that all your belongings were packed. You had dressed and made your way to the stables to check on your horse and load the small bags with your packed items. You munched on the small breakfast that you had prepared for yourself, you were leaving early anyway, and would have missed the morning meal in the mess hall.

You go to sit down by the lake on the far side of the courtyard. It was very quiet, with the odd bird tweeting in the distance. You watch, as the horizon turns from a beautiful orange, to a pale pink as the sun creeps its way up from the land and into the sky. You smile at the sight, it really was quite breath taking. You hear footsteps behind you, but you don't look to see who it is, you didn't care, you were enjoying your view far too much.

“It really makes you feel human doesn't it?” Captain Levi stands beside you; it wasn't really a question, more of a statement. “No matter what happens, the sun will rise and set, completely disregarding the world it shines down on.” You don't answer but you nod. As deep as it was, he was right. Things move on and the world still turns, even if people die.

“What's gotten into you?” You say after a few minutes of silence. “You planning on dying today Captain.”

“Not if I can help it. I would prefer it if you didn't try to kill me with your incompetency on the field.” You growl at the comment, there was really no need for it. Up until this point it had been fairly amicable. Trust him to ruin the moment.

“Well, Levi.” You make a point at disregarding his rank, he wasn't the boss any more, not on this mission any how. “I would hate to be the cause of your death, it would be dreadfully ironic, though wouldn't it? Killed in action by one of your own teammates.” You end the sentence dryly.

“Tsk” You hear his feet shift. “Just because Commander Erwin told you we are equals, doesn't mean that I am not your superior.”

“Whatever Levi! Orders are orders.” You hear the sound of footsteps coming towards you, turning round you spot Jean and Sasha heading for your direction. Sasha looks extremely tired, she must not have slept well either, Jean however looked determined.

“Are we going then?” Jean asks directly to you rather than Levi. You give him a sideways glance and see that he is clenching his teeth again. You nod and get up from your seated position, you make your way over to the stables with the new arrivals, leaving Levi standing at the lake on his own.

“Are your horses ready?” You ask as you saddle your horse and check the reins. They confirm, and you walk your horses out of the stables. Levi passes you without even an acknowledgement , and soon returns with his horse. You walk the horses over to the equipment shed and get your gear together. Nerves start to show in your hands as they shake; were you worried about the mission? Or being on the mission with Levi? You give in trying to figure it out and clap your hands to shake out the trembles.

You gear up and walk outside, and mount your horse, waiting for the others. They soon file out and get on their own horses. Everyone is fairly quiet, Levi, as normal was mute and aloof. You all follow him out of the courtyard and make your way down towards the outpost.

As you ride through, you realise it really was quite beautiful, if you ignored the derelict buildings and eerie quiet. The birds sang as they flew out overhead, the green pastures now wild and unkempt. You ride your horse hard, and you feel all the doubts and anger of the last few months blow away as you speed along. You ride for hours, not daring to stop. You remember in training that you had to be constantly moving, otherwise you may as well be a sitting duck. You contemplate the time when you had witnessed the titans for the first time. They were the stuff of nightmares. No one could imagine something so monstrous, yet here they were destroying humanity with every mouthful. You had managed to take one down, unscathed. Some others in your team however, hadn't been so lucky. You feel your heart pull as you remember your teammates, in pieces. That was not going to happen again, not on your watch!

“Are we far, Levi?” Your legs begin to ache as the horses start to slow down, and you shift uncomfortably in the saddle. Your ride had been clear of any titans, which had been lucky, and you were somewhat relieved.

“No. We should be there shortly.” His voice is short and slightly breathy. You muse he should sound like that more often, his breathing made his words sound a little softer. It suited him. Maybe you should have him chase you round the courtyard before you let him talk to you, he might inadvertently sound nicer.

The horses slow to a trot as you walk through a path with buildings either side. You feel the hairs on the back of your neck prickle, and you become more alert. You can't even hear the birds calling any more. You hear a massive crashing sound to the side of you, your horse bolts down an alleyway to your left when you hear Sasha scream.

You jump off your horse and run back, your horse would be fine, just useless at the moment. You knew something was wrong. As you reach the place you had been before the horse ran, you look up to see a Titan, with Levi firmly in its grasp.

“LEVI!” Your eyes scan the area for the others and notice Sasha pulling an unconscious Jean into a building and Levi's gear crushed on the ground below you. It must have been damaged in the initial blow. Fuck! You fire off your 3dmg, zipping up to the building near the Titan and run across the roof. Your boots pound across the rooftop, tiles slipping from beneath you as your mind runs into overdrive. Blind-siding this monster was the only way you could start on the attack. You hear Levi yell, and see the Titan raising him to its mouth. Adrenaline surges through you, seemingly bringing time to a standstill. The titan's motion seems to blur slightly as you focus, and in that moment you shoot your line to the Titan's arm while slashing frantically, managing to slice the hand off at the wrist, although shattering your blades in the process as they bounce off bone. The Titan howls and swings out with its damaged arm, causing you to lose balance. Your hair whips behind you as you plummet downwards, watching the floor rise up to meet you, and somehow in the nick of time you send out another line and swing out to catch Levi, just before he hits the ground.

Sasha comes out from her hiding place to bundle Levi inside, just one glance shows you he's completely dazed. You grab your next set of blades and whistle through the air back at the titan. Back on the roof, the behemoth ploughs a hand through the slates next to you and takes out part of the roof, almost ripping your feet out from underneath you. With a crack, your next line flies out in desperation, and hooks deeply into the Titan's jaw. You reel yourself in and set off to take the bastard down, knowing timing is everything. You glide around it, readying yourself to strike when it swipes around and catches one of your legs. If it could laugh, you are sure it would have done. You struggle desperately to get free without any luck.

“(FIRST NAME)!!” You hear a voice call your name. Fear stricken, and urgent, it wasn't one you recognised. Taking a quick look down you see Levi, leaning in a door way staring up at you unable to do anything. It was enough to shake you from your stupor and with a single movement you slice through the fingers holding your leg, ripping your uniform on your left shin. You set a line which pierces its shoulder blade and while reeling yourself in, you run up its back. You drag your blades across its skin, and pound them through the flesh at its weak point giving you enough force to hurl yourself to safety. With a pitiful wail, the titan comes smashing to the ground and you remind yourself that oxygen is indeed necessary as you breathe a sigh of relief. You scan the area from your position...

All clear, thank goodness...

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?!” You hear as you put your feet back down on solid ground. Levi, limping slightly, storms up towards you.

“Saving your ass, I think.” You give him a smile, but you realise that he is fuming and your face falls. You didn't get it. You did enough to save everyone, as far as you knew everyone was okay.

“You were being fucking reckless. You seriously are a bloody idiot. I should never have let Erwin put you on this mission!”

“Excuse me! If I hadn't have been here you would have been Titan chow!” You roar back at him. “Dead. You know? As in, not able to be giving me the third degree right now!” You couldn't believe it, what the fuck? Was he really riding your ass because you saved him? What an egotistical prick!

“Levi, she didn't do anything wrong” You notice Jean slowly walking up with a bad cut to his head. Sasha followed quickly behind him. “She saved us all, if she hadn't kept its attention, we'd all be dead.” His voice was cold, and cutting. “And that definitely includes you. Stop being a moronic ass, and let's get the horses and go.”

“Tsk. Fucking brats!” You watch in astonishment as he walks off and picks up his damaged gear. Jean and Sasha walk up behind you as you watch him slink off to find his horse. You were livid, and you turn to them with a look of complete loss.

“What's up with him?” Sasha asks.

“I should have let the Titan eat him. I wont be saving him again, that's for sure.” You reply with malice, not really answering her question.

“There's something not right” You look at Jean with a raised eyebrow. “Well, more than usual, and its all directed at you Mrs Ackerman.” He smirks at you and you roll your eyes.

“Not that shit again.” You walk off to find your horse and sure enough, there he was, still in the alleyway. You walk him back and find Sasha and Jean already mounted on their horses. Patting your horse to reassure him, you saddle up. You trot along the path and find Levi waiting for you, he shoots you a glare and then huffs as he starts off without you.

You ride for another 10 minutes feeling extremely achy and arrive at the outpost. The place is completely deserted, and you carefully make your way to the entrance. You walk the horses around to the old paddock and make sure that they have food and water. Grabbing your belongings from the saddle bags you slowly make your way into the building.

The outpost main building was dusty and dark, and smelt of mould; although fortunately it still seemed sturdy enough to protect the team. You find a place to sit down in what you believed to be some sort of rest room or social quarters. Leaning back in the chair, you sigh as you relax your tired muscles and aching joints. Everything hurt, and on the come down from all the adrenaline, you definitely feel like shit.

“(first name)” Sasha calls though from another room. “I'm just going to take Jean up to the medical room here and get cleaned up.” You hear Jean bitching about her mothering him as their voices get further away... So typically Jean.

“What is it with you?” You don't even bother turning to see who it is, Levi's voice was clearly distinctive. You don't answer, as you know it wasn't really intended as a question. “You have a total disregard for your own safety. You were lucky you didn't die out there.” Even though the words themselves were of concern, his tone was not, he was incredulous.

“Maybe, maybe not, but I didn't and neither did you.” You reply, your voice was curt and you cut yourself short to stop yourself from ranting at him and his stupid attitude.

“Brat, did you ever stop to think that you might be important to people alive?” You scowl at him.

“Well, sure. Everyone is better off being alive.” Your voice is dismissive. What a stupid statement. “But if you dare talk to me like that again, you wont be around to shout at me afterwards!”

“Say that again, Brat! I fucking dare you.” His eyes flashed. You get up out of your chair and walk towards him slowly, preparing yourself.

“Talk to me again and I will shut you up-” You are interrupted as he grabs you and pulls you towards him. “Levi! Don't even think about it!” remembering the last encounter, your left hand whips to your hip, fingers closing around the field knife at your waist.

“Shut up, (First Name) Your leg's bleeding.” He used your name? Wait, what?! You allow yourself to watch as he kneels down, then you see your ripped and heavily bloodied trousers. You had a gash on your right thigh, a fucking big one... How the hell did that happen? Why hadn't you noticed? He examines it and stands up quickly, grabbing your arm and throwing you over his shoulder.

“Hey!”

“We need to clean the wound. You don't want to die of sepsis do you?” His voice may have softened slightly, but that still didn't stop you struggling to get away from him. His arm clamps around you tightly even preventing you from squirming, so you resign yourself to fate. You rest your head in your hand in annoyance as he walks you to the medical room...

[shanlulu-writing]

Levi X reader  - I Am All Yours - Part 2

So here it is, I hope that you like it, I have been really worrying about keeping true to Levi. I hope I have done him justice. Please let me know what you would like to see in the future, or what we could throw at Levi to make him fall off his throne  I am more than willing to be a sacrifice to be thrown at him *wink wink* Any Critique or comments are always welcomed as it will further my writing skills. Thanks to all of those who have commented so far, I really do appreciate it. Much Love, Lulu xxx !!Caution!! Swearing and Mature themes from the outset Part 2 “I think it has everything to do with me.” His fingers trace your wound, you can't help but feel there is something wrong with him completely ignoring your personal space. Every touch was agony, and you try your best to lean away from him. “Idiot, stay still. It will hurt more if you struggle.” “Say that to all the girls do you?” You retort flippantly. He glares at you, which makes you feel a little better, you managed to piss him off. Yet you can't help but notice a hint of a smirk at the edge of his mouth, you didn't like where this was going, being this close you could see flickers of what he was thinking, even if they were generally only taunting you. He looks away from you and tilts your chin upwards so he can take a better look. It is only then you realise that he is leaning most of his body weight on you so he was close as he could be to look at your neck. You never thought you would be this close to him again, especially outside of a fight. He smelt, the only way you could describe, as clean, with a hint of cologne. If it had been anyone else you probably would have gone weak at the knees, but you could only feel defenceless and bitter around him. Something about him completely disarmed you, and all you had were your words, which seemed other than an annoyance, completely ineffective. “At least I can control myself around the opposite sex.” He didn't move away from his ministrations. Is he going on about Eren again? What was his problem with him? Your tensing made your muscles ache, and against your better judgement, you relax your body. You hear a small chuckle emanate from your 'personal doctor', he obviously felt the change in your body. His hand moves to the side of your neck and rests it there, supporting your aching muscles. His hands were like Eren's, rough, but so cold, you could almost feel the icy grasp seep into your skin, you decide to   concentrate on the ceiling, rather than the uncomfortable situation. He tilts your head in the opposite direction from him and sighs. “There's no permanent damage, you may have a little scar tissue here.” He traces a finger down a particularly tender part of your neck. It stung, but within that touch, your heart started to beat a little faster and you became increasingly more conflicted in what you were feeling. What the heck was going on? Why were you acting like this? He was an asshole! One that almost killed you!! “No thanks to you.” You reply offhand manner. “Yes, I am aware of that. I do not have any remorse as to what happened, however, I am regretful that you are in unnecessary discomfort.” He distances himself from you and cleans his hands in a wash bowl in the corner of the room. You raise an eyebrow. “Is that some kind of convoluted way of saying sorry?” It would be a bloody miracle if it was, you watch as he dries his hands and settles back down at his desk. “Tsk. Take it as you will.” You sit back down and wrap the discarded scarf back around your neck. You eye him, carefully trying not to draw too much attention to what you were doing. His skin still looked perfect, his black hair falling over his eyes as he wrote. You wonder what he would look like if he actually smiled, probably quite attractive at any rate, if he wasn't a class A prick. You watch his hands as he writes, his hands weren't so much like Eren's at all, on reflection, his were smaller, with slender dexterous fingers. Interesting that you had never noticed these details before, and it frightened you as to where your thoughts were taking you. You reprimand yourself, you were still angry at him, and scared as hell, wondering when he might snap again. Maybe it was because you were so scared that your body was reacting to him like that, almost like a survival instinct. You ponder on whether you would prefer to be killed by a titan or the Captain, it didn't take much thought, you would take your chance with a titan. “You can paint a picture if you like.” You jump as you hear him speak, you didn't realise he had noticed you watching him. You laugh nervously. “What do you know, I'm all out of paint!” You flash him an obviously fake smile and watch him roll his eyes. “Look Captain Ackerman-” “Captain Levi is fine.” “Fine, whatever, Captain Levi. Do you actually need me for something or am I just going to sit here all day?” He raises his eyes to meet yours, his tongue quickly flicking over his bottom lip. “If I require you to sit there then you sit, brat. However, now you mention it I wouldn't mind a cup of tea.” “What?!” He raises his eyebrow. “Black, strong, and bitter.” He lowers his head and returns to his papers. Sighing you get up from your seat. “Are you sure we are talking about tea?” You say as you walk out the door with a smirk. He mumbles something under his breath but you aren't able to catch it. Happy to be out of his office, you almost skip at your new found freedom. You head towards the kitchen, glad to be away from his intense stare and the even colder way that he manhandles you. It shocks you how happy you feel, though why, you couldn't say why. You feel your stomach growl, you hadn't eaten, now you think of it, you hadn't drunk anything either, and felt your head start to feel fuzzy. You make a note to grab something while you are in the kitchen. You are just about to turn the corner when someone grabs your arm and pulls you into an adjacent corridor. With a yelp you land in warm arms, and blink a little at the confusion, only to see blue-green eyes staring back at you. “Eren?” He smiles at you and lets you go. “Heh, Sorry about that. I wanted to get to you before he finds us talking.” His comment sounded strange to you. He finds us? You look at him quizzically. “The girls told me he had sent you to his office. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” “I'm fine Eren. He just creeps me out that's all.” Eren looks at you sceptically. “Has he laid a finger on you?” You couldn't lie, but you didn't want Eren to make things worse. “Well-” You start. “He fucking has, hasn't he!” You can feel the anger radiate off of him. You start to feel yourself shaking, all of this stress had really worn you down. “I'm going to kick the living shit out of him when I see him! I will not have him treat you like this!” “Eren, please. Stop. I can handle this. He just grabbed my chin that was all. Nothing bad, and he was just looking over my neck, that's it. Nothing to worry about.” You weren't going to mention that he had his body pressed up against you for about fifteen minutes, that would only add fuel to the fire. You couldn't believe that you were defending him, in a sense, a few days ago you would have formed a queue for punches, but this situation was so odd, you were confused about what exactly you were meant to do. “He tried to kill you!” He lowers his voice, obviously trying to make sure that your conversation wasn't overheard. He places his hand on the wall behind you, making sure you will listen to him. You were sandwiched between the wall and Eren, another first, you might get an award at this rate. “I really appreciate that you are trying to protect me, and I would do the same for you if the roles were reversed. But I cannot, and will not have someone fight my battles for me. You are so caring-” You place a hand on his cheek and gave him a friendly smile. “And you have no idea how much that means to me, but I will not have you getting involved in this, it would only make things worse.” He places his other hand wall beside your head, you were well and truly trapped now. Your head feels like it's about to explode as a sharp pain rips through your head. Typical now a headache! “He's threatened you! You are going to tell me next that you aren't allowed to talk to me, for some fucked up pathetic reason, but it will be because he knows that you cannot protect yourself from him. Don't you see? I don't know what his aim in all of this is but it can't be good.” “Eren, he-” You feel another wave of dizziness, and a second stabbing pain in your head. Within moments you feel yourself falling and losing consciousness. ~ “Jaeger! What the fuck do you think you are doing?” The sound was fuzzy at first becoming clearer as you come to. You try to lift your head, but with your neck the way it was, it was too much of a struggle. You open your eyes as you see that you are being carried, on the way to the infirmary, with Captain Levi marching towards the both of you. Oh, Shit! “What do you think I am doing?” Eren replies angrily. “I am taking her to the infirmary so she can rest like she is supposed to. Not only is it bad enough that you are the one that caused all of this shit, you make her work when she is meant to be healing!” His voice was getting louder with each word. “Brat, shut your fucking mouth. The orders came from Commander Erwin. Not that I have to explain myself to you. She was off making tea and I came to find her, only to see that she is unconscious and with you.” The Captain sneered at Eren, you can feel Eren's grip tighten on you as you sense him getting angrier. “What does it matter that she is with me? At least she is safe. You almost killed her!” “Safe? May I remind you of what happened to Mikasa, while she was under your protection?” Captain Levi's voice was mocking in tone, face as always, devoid of emotion. You feel Eren's heart beat louder and faster. “You shut the hell up about that! It wasn't like that! This was different, you did it with the full intention of hurting her.” “Tsk.” You hear him tut. This was going to get nasty if you didn't do something to stop them. You wiggle free of Eren's grasp and set your feet on the ground still feeling wobbly. “Both of you, calm down!” Your voice cracks as you speak, and sounds laboured. “Please stop arguing. I don't know why you are butting heads over this.” You look at Captain Levi. “It's true you tried to kill me, for what reason, I'm at a loss. I've never done anything to you to warrant your anger and neither has Eren. You have a problem with me, take it out on me, don't involve him.” You stumble as you begin to take a step towards him. You are caught before you manage to hit the floor and find yourself being held up by the Captain. “(First name)” Eren shouts as he tries to come to your aid, but all you hear is skin hitting skin, you hear Eren grunt and stumble backwards. What the hell had Captain Levi done? You had told them to stop. May as well have been speaking fucking Latin! You try to put weight on your feet again, in an attempt to put an end to this stupid squabble; only for your legs to do a very good impression of jelly on a plate. “That's enough discussion, Jaeger. Go and ask the cooks to make something for her to eat and drink.” Eren tries to object. “Enough. Do as I say!” You hear Eren growl at him and walk away. He picks you up, very much in the same way Eren was carrying you. “For fuck sake woman, can you not doing anything you are told? You have no respect at all, do you? Fucking useless brat.” You look up to meet his face. He seemed angry. Was it because of Eren again? Or the fact that you hadn't made him tea? You feel completely hopeless, being carried by someone your mind hated, your body was scared of and your heart...should bloody well despise him too! You hang your head, ashamed of yourself. “I. I'm sorry Sir.”  You sound, for the first time, remorseful, though really you were just bitterly disappointed in yourself. You hear him chuckle, he doesn't speak, but you know then, whatever battle you were fighting, you had lost. You were soon sat on the sofa in his office feeling particularly sick. All you wanted to do was go to your bed in the dorm and sleep for a week. Whatever had been happening, you still couldn't fathom, why you were still in the Captain's office was any ones guess. A knock at the door echoes into the room. “Enter.” Eren walks in, you can tell he is clenching his teeth and eyes are raging. He must have still been fuming about the remark about Mikasa, you wonder what had happened. It was a cheap shot, even for the Captain. He places the tray on the table in front of you, and you see that the cooks have prepared a bowl of soup and a glass of water for you. You must remember to thank them, it looks delicious, but you know you couldn't eat a mouthful, your stomach turns at the thought of eating it. “Thank you,” You say helplessly. You hate the way you felt, it was so alien to you. This was the first time that an injury had affected you this much, and you hated it. Just as much as you hated what was going on. You see Eren watching you cautiously, he pauses, and you shake your head, looking at him pleadingly, you couldn't take any more fighting. “Go.” Captain Levi commands. With one last glance, Eren resentfully leaves you alone with him again. Great. Feeling sick and being stuck with Mr obnoxious. “Eat.” One word, that's it, just one. Not are you okay? Did you need to sleep? Did you want me to jump off a cliff? Yes. Fucking. Please. “I'm not hungry.” You answer sullenly. He walks round the table and bends down to you, nailing you with his stare. “I told you to eat, so eat.” “I am not hungry, I feel sick.” He sits down next to you stiffly. He seems uncomfortable with the situation. You hear him take a deep breath. “Just eat the fucking food” He pauses. “Please.” You cough as your breath gets stuck in your throat. He just said please. Hell has well and truly frozen over and the dead will rise from their graves! You blink at him aghast, words formulate in your mind but never make it to your mouth. He sighs. “Don't look at me like that. I am more than capable of asking nicely, and as I have done so; Eat!” You try your hardest to eat but only manage a few mouthfuls. You do drink deeply, however, and start to feel less dizzy. You were still reeling that he even knew how to say please, this was definitely a revelation but even eating was unnerving as he just sat there observing that you do as he says. He was really quite odd. “I take this is the reason no one goes out to dinner with you.” You give him a sideways glance, just to see if he reacts. “I have no reason to take anyone out to dinner.” He says matter-of-factly.   “Ah, hah! I'm right! You're a creep, and just a bit of advice, you might make a few friends if you don't try and either insult them or kill them.” He gets up from his seat and sets your tray on the sideboard close to the door. “Fancy yourself as becoming my friend, do you?” His voice gave himself away that he was actually amused. You think back on what you just said and wonder where you went wrong. You shake your head violently, instantly regretting it as your neck reminded you that you are still injured. “No, I didn't sign up for that. I like living. Thanks for the offer, though.” You breathe in relief, glad  you had got yourself out it, completely missing he had just played you. “Such a shame.” The sarcasm just oozed out of his mouth. You clench your teeth as you realise he had completely outwitted you, again. He sits down on the table, where your tray previously sat. “And I had already arranged walks in the park, and feeding the ducks together.” “Thank goodness for that, I hate ducks.” You desperately try to deviate away from the winning look he had in his eyes. You sit back in the sofa, trying to make a bigger gap between you. You stifle a yawn and feel your body desperately fighting off sleep. “Look, I am really tired, Captain Levi. The last couple of days have been deathly tiring.” You shot him a glare of disdain. “But I really need to get some rest. I feel like shit.” He nods, eyes becoming their standard emotionless state, and he stands up. “It would be best if you were to stay in my quarters.” You were half getting up as he said the words and you pause. “Excuse me?” “It is merely for your benefit. My room has a fire, and is also closer to the infirmary if an emergency occurs-” “Like me being murdered” you mutter. He continues, ignoring your comment. “If an emergency occurs, then I will be able to get you to a medic sooner. Believe me, it is an inconvenience, I will have to sleep on the sofa.” “Don't put yourself out Sir” You say in a desperate attempt to get yourself out of his clutches. “The infirmary still has me reserved in for another night of observations, so it would be best really to stay there.” “You will stay here, brat. That is final.” Oh, joy, now you weren't even going to be awake to witness your own death. Maybe he might even write a eulogy explaining your death at your funeral. “For now, however, rest.” He walks you over to the closed door on the opposite side of the room and guides you through. He starts making a fire as you scan your eyes over his room. It was still fairly bare, much like most others, with a few books dotted on tatty dark wood furniture. The bed was neatly made, and in your current state, captivatingly inviting. Gone were your worries of death, you just needed to sleep. You sit on the bed and take your shoes off, slowly, as your neck threatens to cause more pain. You unwrap the scarf from around your neck and slip your jacket off and lay them on the end of the bed. You sit there for a while as you watch the Captain expertly fan the small flames to help the wood catch fire. The flames entrance you being so close to sleep, and even sitting up you can feel yourself drifting off. You feel yourself slipping away, when you hear a 'tsk' close by, and hands pushing you onto the bed ,lifting your feet up so you are fully laying down and cover you up with numerous blankets. You try to say thank you but your body doesn't respond and just before you slip off into sleep you hear the Captain speak, though not to you, as he walks out the room. “What the fuck am I doing?” ~ You wake feeling a little more refreshed and feeling better than you did before your sleep. You look outside to see that it was still daylight. Had you slept at all? Taking your jacket and your boots, you slip them back on quickly, finishing with wrapping your scarf around your neck. You get up, making the bed, and glance at the fire. It was still slowly burning; Captain Levi must have kept it topped up, or not at all, you muse, reminding yourself that it was still light. Walking into the office you don't see the Captain. Taking the chance, you walk out and proceed to the infirmary to get checked over. It didn't take long, and they give you some more salve to put on your skin. It is when you are told it is actually a day later, you had slept all of yesterday and all night. Crap it! You thank them for all their help and make your way to the mess hall, you were desperately hungry. “(first name). I'm so glad I caught you.” Sasha bounds over to you, she seems excited to see you. “It's lunch time!” You laugh, you should have known. “But asides from that, you didn't come back to the dorm last night, and when I looked for you in the infirmary before breakfast you weren't there either.” She squealed. “Were you with Levi? What's going on?” “Nothing is going on Sasha. I stayed in his room because he has a fire.” You speak very slowly for the next part. “He didn't stay in his room.” You made that part very clear, there was very distinctly nothing going on. “Well, people are saying that he did it so he could spend time with you.” You roll your eyes, and laugh, beginning to walk with her to the mess hall. People surely had better things to do rather than gossip, they also needed to get their heads straight. “Really? Come on. He probably just red misted, we have seen so many people do it, there's too many pent up emotions in this place and the fact we are all stuck together. He had a massive fight with Eren yesterday though..” you trail off. “That explains why Eren was moody yesterday then. What did they argue about?” “I don't really know. I don't think he was happy with me being around Eren and he mentioned something about not keeping Mikasa safe.” It still seemed strange to you, half of it, you didn't understand. “Oh, yeah. When Eren turned into a titan to block up the wall he went for her. Could have been quite nasty.” She paused and changed the subject. “But, he wasn't happy with you and Eren, surely that must tell you he likes-” You clap your hand over her mouth as you reach the hall, and place a finger on your lips to show silence. “Enough, he is an asshole! It doesn't matter whether he does or not, nothing is going on.” You glare at her as she inanely giggles at you. Maybe talking to her wasn't such a good idea. You make your way to the far end of the hall and grab your lunch. You take the chance to thank the cooks for your food yesterday and walk off to find your teammates. “Well well look who it is, Mrs Ackerman.” You hear Jean jeer at you. “Don't tell me you're listening to that shit as well? I thought better of you.” You roll your eyes as you sit down next to Armin. “Hi (first name)” Armin greats you smiling. “Hey, Armin. You don't believe the crap that everyone is gossiping about do you?” He was one that you hoped wouldn't be swayed by the rumours. “I don't think that Captain Levi likes anyone particularly. Just hates us all equally.” He offers you a reassuring smile, you could have hugged him. You feel triumphant that you had managed to find someone who actually possessed a thought for themselves. Worrying really, the saviours of humanity couldn't work out fiction from reality. “Thank goodness. I honestly thought everyone had gone mad.” You laugh and begin to eat. “I think there is something in it, though.” You gaze across at the voice opposite you, Mikasa, chin resting in her hands looking thoughtful. You can't believe that Miss Stoic was actually entertaining the idea. Maybe you were still in a dream. “No, think about it. He gives you a hard time from the get-go, punishes you for the silliest things, especially if Eren is involved, and then loses his temper, really hurts you and then spends the next day keeping an eye on you.” “I am really disappointed in you Mikasa, I expected you of all people to know it was all bullshit.” She gives you a dismissive look and shifts her weight onto her other hand. “I am just giving my opinion. The facts are there to see, it's just how you put it all together.” “Wrongly, that's what it is.” Eren sits down at the table next to Mikasa. “I don't care who it is, no one should treat anyone like that, especially my friends.” You smile at the thought of Eren calling you a friend, it was a very lovely sound to hear. Sasha bounds up to the table and joins in the conversation. “Oh don't get all angry again Eren. He likes her it's obvious, we need to do something to get him to show her.” “NO!” Everyone shouted, at least they were in agreement with that. If by some twisted reality they were right, then him 'showing he liked her' was a death wish. Sasha's face fell and sat down at the table quietly. You had stopped eating, you didn't feel hungry anymore. You look despondently at your food and sigh. “Hey, don't worry about it. Have you put more of that cream on your neck today?” Eren changes the subject, your shoulders relax in relief, you had had your fill of stupid gossiping for the day. You shake your head and pull out a small bottle out of your pocket to show him. He nods, walks round the table and gets Armin to shuffle up so he can sit facing you. “You want me to do it? Take your scarf off then and I'll put it on.” You wind the scarf off your neck hesitantly, you didn't want the whole squad to see. You hear gasps from your table and other tables around you. You close your eyes, trying to pretend that you were somewhere else. You feel Eren shuffle closer to you. “It's okay, just ignore them. Right, this will probably hurt, grab my hand again, like last time and I'll get it done as quickly as possible.” You nod, move your hand to his, your eyes still shut tightly. You gasp as he starts applying it, it stings like a bitch. You grab his hand as he runs his fingers across your skin, you can feel your eyes watering at the pain and you bite your lip. One day you would make Captain Levi pay for this pain, you promised. Finally, he finished and you breathed deeply, opening your eyes. Everyone was still looking at you, horrified. “I am so sorry (first name)” Sasha stutters. “Yeah, shit I'm sorry if I knew he was hurting you that badly I would have got him off of you” Jean adds, you can see his eyes were full of guilt. “Don't worry guys, honestly it's fine.” You wrap your scarf around your neck once more and feel the  hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Your eyes widen, as you see the look on Eren's face, you turn quickly to see Captain Levi striding towards your table. How long had be been there?You stand up quickly to stop his advance. “Captain Levi, what can we do for you?” You are shocked to see that he is almost boiling over with anger. Eren stands up behind you, you reach out behind you and put your hand on his chest to stop him from coming closer. You see the Captain, try to compose himself. “You did not report to me as soon as you awoke.” You raise an eyebrow, that wasn't what he was angry about, you could see that quite clearly. “I had to go to the infirmary for more cream and a check up. I then came here to have some lunch. I am eating like I was told to do so. So there is no problem here is there?” You said firmly, you were not having these two starting a row in the middle of lunch. Captain Levi had to maintain a sense of decorum around his subordinates. “You completely disregarded a direct order, brat.” You could feel everyone around you starting to tense. Eren was trying to push your hand away but you stood firm. You had your friends around you, you weren't going to back down now and you were fed up of being called a brat. “My name is (first name, Last name), not brat! And what order was that sir? The one where I am not allowed to talk to anyone? Or a new one that I am not allowed to let anyone help me put cream on the injury that you caused?” You heard a few intakes of breath and everything was silent. “No, it was back chatting me!” He grabs your wrist and yanks you towards him. “You will not fucking disobey me again” He jerks you so hard you lose your balance and start stumbling towards him, in the same moment he starts pulling you down the hall. “No fucking way” You hear Eren shout and footsteps behind you. You look back and see Jean and a few others holding Eren back. He tries his best to get loose but fails. You hear someone trying to calm down and Armin runs off to go and find Erwin. You try to get your arm back but without much luck, you wonder how you ended up in this situation again. You were just beginning to feel normal again and he had to start acting weird. What the hell was his problem? “Why are you such a fucking idiot?” He was still dragging you, you hadn't a clue where you were going. “I ask you to stay away from Eren and as soon as you can, you go straight back to him. It disgusts me.” “I haven't got a clue what you are talking about! I honestly must be missing something here, you are acting like an asshole for no reason and I don't know why!”He stops dead, causing you to crash into him. “You really are a fucking idiot” He grabs your other wrist and pushes you into the wall behind you. The thud jerks your neck instantly, and you start to panic, he was going to kill you there and then. Within the next second, you feel his lips on yours, in a hard, rough kiss. You freeze, what the fuck was this?! What the fuck was he doing?! You try to wiggle free of his hands, which he grips tighter, stopping you completely. You felt like you were watching in third person just watching it all happen, and scream internally as you see yourself relaxing into the kiss and letting him deepen the kiss. You were completely insane, maybe this was your dying wish because you would be in the ground before the night ended. If he didn't kill you, you'd dig the grave yourself. “Ahem, Levi. A word.” The kiss stopped, and you turn your head to see Erwin. You watch Levi walk off still giving you an angry glare. What the actual fuck?

[shanlulu-writing]

Levi X reader  - I am all yours - Part 1

Please be aware there is swearing from the outset and suggestive themes. I hope you like, this is only the second fanfic I have put up on here, so please bare with me. Please let me know what you think, Im happy for critique and anything that will help the story and my writing. If you like give me a fav or a comment. I do love hearing back from you! Part 1 It was cold, for some reason, it was always cold here, even when the sun was shining. Maybe it was just you, maybe you felt the cold more than anyone else, still, it would feel good to feel warm once in a while. You sigh, feeling like you had been here forever, but that wasn't reality, in fact, you had only been here a matter of months. You had only been with the survey corps with the new influx of trainees, not like you really wanted to be here. Mostly everyone paid no attention to you, let alone be nice, but that was how you liked it. You shiver and break away from your thoughts. It was your turn to muck out and groom the horses, a job that you particularly hated. As much as it was nice to ride them, cleaning them was another matter. You continue to groom one of the horses, you believed it to be Captain Ackerman's. Well, that was someone, up his own ass, good in a fight but hell was he a stuck up prick. He had already shown you how much he disliked you. From day one he was full of venom towards you. You knew that he was like with that with everyone, but it seemed like it was particularly vicious in your direction. A couple of the others had mentioned it, in fact, that was how the few people who did talk to you, introduced themselves. Your only collective conclusion was that he didn't like your face. Well, you didn't like his either, even if it was very defined and had the illusion that his skin was the perfection of porcelain. Mr bloody perfect. “You, (last name).” You look up. “Please tell me why a brat like you is touching my horse?” You move away from the horse catching the Captain's icy glare. From up close he was actually pretty short for a guy. You snigger internally. “Answer me!” He moves a few steps closer, arms folded and looks at you as if you are the muck you have been shovelling. “I was asked to clean the horses. That's what I am doing” You answer frostily. “...Sir” You frown, not knowing what he meant. “You address me as Sir, idiot.” You notice that even though his words are infuriated, his face remains deadpan, almost unaffected by the conversation. “Sir.”  You didn't want to respond, but then you didn't want the aggro either. You should have learnt from the last time you spoke back to him and had to sleep in the shed for two nights with only one blanket. You knew full well that he was always prepared to punish your back chat, but he riled you up so much, you couldn't help but lash back out at him. You sigh again. “So do you want me to groom your horse or not..... Sir?” You questioned him, voice dripping with sarcasm . As soon as the words left your mouth, he was next to you and grabbed your chin roughly. “Answer me like that again brat, and you will fucking live to regret it.” You stagger backwards escaping from his grasp, his voice was like acid, and you truly believed that he would do as he said. You relented your attitude, and bow your head with a nod. “Tsk.” He turned on his heel and walked out of the stables. You breathe a sigh of relief and get back to work. You hear another set of footsteps approach you, you groan as you think that it is the Captain coming back to have another rant at you. “I'm NOT interested!” You thought to pre-empt him. “Huh?” That voice wasn't the Captains. You move out from behind the horse to see another cadet. “Hey (first name), what was up with Levi? What did you do now? He looked super pissed when he walked out of here.” It was Eren, he seemed nice, apparently, he could shift into a titan. Well, he looked normal enough, you couldn't tell he was hiding a monster inside of him. He had been one of the only ones that made the effort to talk to you, and for that, you were somewhat grateful. “Oh hi, Eren. He was just bitching something or other about me touching his horse. No biggy.” Eren looked shocked. You smile at him warmly. “What? He as a major stick up his ass, he needs bringing down a peg or two.” “You have a death wish” He laughs, you like it, his face is pretty cute when he smiles. “It was nice knowing you.” You cock your head to look at him. “He can't be that bad, I'm sure his bark is worse than his bite.” Eren raises his eyebrows at you but says nothing. It's like he knows something but won't tell you. “Anyway, we have training in a minute, Hanji asked me to come and get you.” You had forgotten about that after your altercation with Captain Ackerman. You set down your brushes and follow him out. “What is his problem?” You ask as you fasten your pace to catch up with him. Eren shrugs and doesn't offer you an answer. “Fine, whatever.” You weren't going to waste any more breath on him today. Funnily enough, you were quite happy that the training grounds meant you wouldn't have to see him again today. You walked out onto the training field and saw everyone else already set up ready to go. “Jaeger! (Last name)! You are Late!” Hanji yells from the other side of the field. You scurry to where your teammates were standing, and stood in line. She watched you as you fell in place and continued. “Today, we are going to be doing some mixed combat training. Also, I thought that it might be instrumental in your learning to get a few tips from the seasoned members of the Corps” You follow your friend's eyes to the group standing not far from you. Whispers start all around you, about them being the members of the special ops team, when from the corner of your eye you see Captain Ackerman. You roll your eyes and groan, why couldn't luck just be on your side for once?! You look at the other members who seem quite annoyed at being there, obviously, Hanji had wrangled them into doing it when you see that Captain Ackerman glaring straight at you. You double take. Why is he still staring at you? That's quite a glare he's got going on there. For fuck sake... What could you have done now? You look away to try and pay attention to Hanji giving instructions as to what was to happen next, but you could still feel the frosty gaze, sending shivers up your neck. You rub it instinctively and feel very uncomfortable. “What's the matter?” Eren leant in sideways whispering. “He keeps looking at me!” You mutter under your breath. “What song did you want to be played at your funeral, again? I don't know what you said to him, but you are in serious crap.” You hear him laugh quietly. “What are you two talking about?” Jean and Sasha bundle up behind you. You groan, as you really didn't want the whole squad knowing. Not that it was really something to be embarrassed about, but he was still looking at you and it was extremely unnerving. Eren explains to them and on queue, they both look over at him. “Don't look at him” You hiss. “Wow, did you give him attitude again?” Sasha asks mouth full of potato, you wonder how she has managed to get it. You can only guess that she has bribed one of the cooks again, it was the only explanation. “You're a glutton for punishment and an idiot. You know he doesn't like you, so why bait him all the time? Last time you pissed him off he had you scrubbing the floors in your nightclothes.” Jean adds. “Shut up. I didn't do anything that time either, all I did was have a play fight with Eren! Not my fault that his weakness is being tickled!” You retort in hushed tones and punch Jean in the arm. “(Last name) Are you listening?” Hanji shouts scolding you. You wince as you seem to be drawing more attention to yourself every minute. “Yes Ma'am” You listen to the last of her instructions and wait to get paired off. To your relief, you get paired up with Jean. From your interactions with him, you knew he was hot-headed and had a sharp tongue, not so unlike yourself. At least this meant you could blow off some steam, and forget about the pigmy abominable snow man's stare. “I'll go easy on you newbie,” Jean grunted at you. He didn't seem impressed to be paired up with a new recruit or the fact that you were by appearances, a weak girl. You scowl at him and take a deep breath. “This will be easy then. Don't flatter yourself, I'm not a precious sodding flower.” You spat in disgust. You were going to show him, you were a fighter, you always had been, and remarks like that were only going to make you more determined. He came at you, his main attacks were balanced in brute strength rather than speed. How apt. You move deftly around and away from his attacks, landing a fist on his back, in between his shoulder blades. Jean stops, and drops to one knee, he looked like he was getting his breath back. Standing back up to his full height, he readied himself again. The next attack landed on your shoulder, you yelp in pain and fall to the floor. You glare up at him as he offers a hand to you, you take it begrudgingly to stand up yourself. You shake the pain off and begin again. You fight for a good ten more minutes, and you manage to best him a fair few times when you are interrupted. “Kirstein. Your strength will win eventually, but that is if she doesn't wear you out before you can even hit a punch.” You both stop, and look to see that unimpressed face looking back at you. Did he have to interrupt? “Yes, Captain.” “Here. Let me show you a few tactics.”  Jean nods, he looks annoyed at the halt in fighting yet you notice a flicker of a smirk directed at you. You narrow your eyes at him in response, he can bugger off as well. Shit! You were going to have to fight the Captain. Jean moves out of the way, and Captain Ackerman stands in his place. You wonder whether his face was actually a mask, as you were sure that it was just made of stone. You feel nervous, you had heard about how good he was in battle, and you could only imagine that it translated well into hand to hand combat. You wished that the ground would swallow you up whole, yet in that moment you decide that you were not going to let him affect you. He was just some idiot who thought insulting people was a good idea, and he could get away with it because of his rank. People like that made you feel sick. You felt like you were close to hating him, he was just like all the others, who used their power to get what they wanted. “Brat, I hope you pay attention to what I am to teach you.” “I am all yours, Sir!” You glower at him. You hated his stupid perfect face, his stupid comments, and his stupid fucking attitude. You launch your attack, which he counters every single time, it just seems so easy for him, which he always follows with a smack on the back of your head. Pompous twat! He gives you the run around for what appears to be forever. You manage to hit him but none of them really manage to stop his attacks. You move again, feign a hit to the chest and spin around to kick him in the side. You manage to catch him off balance and quickly you go for the backs of his knees, causing him to fall to the ground. Seconds later with your knees pinning his kneeling legs, you hold your training knife to his throat. Breathing heavily, you feel triumphant. You managed to slay the beast, Hah! “Thank you for the lesson, Sir! I hope you learnt something.” You hear a quiet laugh escape from the man in front of you. Within a flash, he grabs your arm and pushes down on the inside of your elbow with three fingers and with the other hand, the bones in your thumb joint (pressure points). You scream, as it feels like he has broken your arm, you yank your arm back away from him and in that split second of pain, you are pushed to the ground. Legs straddled either side of your hips and his forearm pressing down on your neck, he leans in closer to you. You struggle to take in more air as the pressure of his body weight crushes down on your throat. You feel his breath on your neck, and amongst trying to breathe, you try desperately to get away from him, the fear becoming real that he may strangle you. “This is your first lesson, never let your guard down.” He utters under his breath. “Secondly, I will not have female cadets flaunting themselves with other male recruits. I've told you before and if I see it again I will have you reprimanded.” You could feel your consciousness slipping from you and make one last move for your freedom. With all your might you headbutt your captor, he rolls off you in pain and managing to get away from him, stagger back up, barely able to stand. “FUCK YOU!” Your voice was hoarse and strained. You realise that everyone else had stopped fighting and some of them had obviously been watching the fight for a while. You didn't need this shit. Taking one last look at the Captain on the floor, who was now sitting, with his hand on his head, you speed off. You manage to make it to the stables, and your legs fall out from underneath you. You clutch your throat, it feels like it is on fire, and just swallowing hurts. He actually planned to kill you, he actually meant to do it. Maybe Eren was right, maybe you should plan your funeral.  You realise that you are crying, you rub the tears out of your eyes, you weren't going to cry over this, not him. “(First name)!” You hear a call not far from you. You try to turn your neck, but hiss as the pain is so bad you think he must have broken something. Eren crouches down to look at you, his focus trailing from your teary (e/c) eyes to your throat and his eyes widen. “What the fuck did he do to you?” He grabs you and carries you gently with your head against his chest. “We are going straight to the infirmary. What the hell does he think that he is playing at?” It doesn't take you long to get there, usually, you wouldn't have gone, but you feel too weak to protest. The medics take a look at you, and they are surprised to hear what happened. You didn't want to say anything or make a fuss, but Eren was insistent on knowing everything. You see Eren getting angrier as they take a look at your neck. It's red raw and bruising is already starting to form, your voice was still croaky even after an excruciating drink of water. “You are saying Captain Ackerman did this?” The medic asks in a worried tone. You nod gingerly and bow your head. You had never felt so pathetic, you were here to fight the titans, but instead you were almost killed by someone in your own regiment. The medic grumbles and moves to place some ointment on your skin, you jerk back instinctively and shake your head furiously. “Its okay (first name). Here, let me do it. If it hurts you can punch my leg.” You think that its probably for the best, at least you wouldn't be accused of punching a medic, another thing Mr Captain Levi Asshole could punish you for.  He sits down on the bed next to you and holds one of your hands as he takes an ointment slicked finger to your skin. “Fuck... That hurts” You grunt in pain. “Squeeze my hand then.” He does it again, this time you clench his hand and realise how rough his skin is, and on closer inspection, there are minor scars all over his hands. His hands make you feel safe, his hands were much larger than yours with strong fingers, but they were extremely warm. You smile as you bask your hand in his warm one. He notices your expression change and stops. “Why are you smiling?” “Your hands are really warm.” You croak. He returns your smile as the medic comes in with a tray with a singular cup and saucer. “I've been told tea is good for a sore throat, and it might help your voice a little.” You nod and gesture a thank you, the medic makes their exit leaving you alone. Eren takes the cup off of the tray and passes it to you. Sadly this meant that his warm hands were no longer in your possession, however, it was replaced by steaming tea which was deliciously hot for your throat and your freezing cold hands. You take a sip and wince in pain, but endeavour to keep drinking and soon the pain subsides to just a tingle at the back of your throat. “Thank you, Eren.” You startle him as it had been quiet up until then. “I haven't done anything.” He shrugs. “You always seem to be there when I need you, and I just want to let you know I appreciate it.” He takes you aback when you see a flash of red on his cheeks. He looks away from you quickly. “Oh it's nothing really, that's what friends do!” He turns back to you, with a slightly darker look. “But if he touches you like that again, he's got another thing coming.” “Eren, please. Don't make a fuss, I can handle it, I'm not broken down that easy.” You try to say as convincingly as possible, but it couldn't be any further from the truth. After today he scared the shit out of you. ~ You had fitful sleep that night and woke up feeling exhausted. Eren had left not long after you finished your tea, and it was the first night in a very long while that you had slept in a room on your own. The silence was unsettling, and even when waking the silence seemed to hang over you like a shadow. You stretch your legs and pull yourself out of bed. You hold the bed for support, your legs were still weak. Strange considering that it was your throat that had been wounded, not your legs. You take a few paces, even at a shuffle it was good to get up and walk about. You hear noises from down the hall, cadets were laughing and shouting, they sounded like they were having so much fun, and you feel like you wished to be with them. There's a first time for everything. Usually, you distanced yourself from people, but Eren had shown you that you could make friends and maybe you might be able to make some real friends here. Your thoughts wander to the events of yesterday. What the hell was all that about? I've told you before and if I see you doing it again you will be reprimanded. Reprimanded for what? Talking to people? For having a laugh with Eren? Training with Jean? Grooming his horse? Even so, even if what you were doing was wrong, did it really warrant almost being strangled to death? “Ah, I see you're up” You look up to see Hanji walking in, sprightly as ever. She was carrying a clean set of clothes, which she set on your bed. “How are you feeling?” “Er... Okay, I guess. Alive if only just” You didn't mean to come off as brash, but you were still wound up. “We have orders from Erwin that you are to have a few days rest. The medics have advised so, due to the wound. Ah, he also wanted you to report to Captain Ackerman as soon as you can.” You gasp. They were sending you straight back into the lion's den. She smiles, seeming to completely miss your horror. “Nothing to worry about,  I am sure he just wants to apologise.” Apologise. Fucking Apologise? That's the least he could do! He will probably finish the job. This was bullshit, but orders were orders. You nod, knowing there was no way to get out of it.  She waves goodbye and runs off to find her team, leaving you alone again. You gave into getting changed, it was actually more difficult than you initially anticipate due to your neck still being extremely stiff and sore. Eventually, you manage and make the bed, as the medics weren't about you went over to their desk and grabbed a pen and paper to scrawl a thank you for their help. Slowly you make your way to your dorm to grab your scarf to hide the marks on your neck. You hope it will be quiet and the rest of the girls would already be out. As you open the door you hear your name called from all different directions, you look to see most of them had been waiting for you. You groan internally, wishing you had waited before coming back. They all rushed over, asking you loads of questions. Did it hurt? What did he do? What did you do to piss him off? How heavy was he? How did he smell? Did you pass out? Did he try and kill you on purpose? “Did he kiss you? Are you going out?” You heard from someone. How the hell did they get from trying to kill you to dating? Most of the girls needed their heads checked out. You may have been injured but at least you still had your head screwed on. You were about to reply when someone beat you to it. “Do you think that pestering her is going to get you a response?” The voice was cold. There was only one person that it could be. You muse whether you could make a break for it out the open window, yet with everyone crowded around you, you realise that it would be impossible. “I expect to see you in my office in two minutes” He commanded. When his back was turned you glare at him instinctively, hoping that his head might explode. You grab your (fav/c) scarf and wrap it around your neck. You make your move to go when you turn and speak to Mikasa. “Can you tell Eren: Erik Satie, Gymnopédie No.3” She looks at you confused. “I want that played at my funeral.” You hear a couple of them giggle as you leave the room. You make your way to his office, every footstep becoming harder and harder as you prepare for your doom. Your stomach was in knots and your arms were shaking as you reach the door. Timidly you knock on the door, hoping that he had been called away on an errand. “Enter.” You hear from the other side of the door. So much for that then. You curse under your breath and walk into the room. He was sitting at his desk writing, he didn't bother to look up at you. He paused and motioned to the chair the opposite side of the desk to him. You moved cautiously and sat down, remaining quiet. You twiddle your thumbs for a while, waiting for a titan to appear from nowhere and step on you or something to get you away from the situation. “Now, (last name). I understand that the medical team have given you leave for two days while you recover. I suggest in that time that you help Commander Erwin and myself with any menial tasks that we require of you. It will save you from being completely useless.” “What?” You could barely believe the words coming out of his mouth. “You're the reason I am like this in the first place!” You weren't originally going to rise to his bait, but useless you were not. “If you didn't have some kind of vendetta against me none of this would ever have happened! Maybe if you got off your high horse once in a while, then maybe I wouldn't talk to you like this!” His hand shot across the desk and grabbed your chin, he ran a thumb across your bottom lip. “Such a smart mouth” He sounded strange. His voice was drenched with mockery, yet deep and sultry, you try not to think of such things, you confirm to yourself, staring back at his emotionless face. “I have a mind to shut it up.” You freeze completely stunned. He releases your chin and you touch where he had grabbed you. You can feel the skin ache where his fingers had been. This guy was dangerous, you weren't going to stay here or be treated like this. You get up to get away. “I don't think so. You aren't going to run away, are you? Like a frightened little girl.” He raises his eyes to you, and you are sure you can see the trace of a smirk on his face, but it's gone again in an instant. You feel very trapped and slowly edge backwards. You didn't want to prove him right, but you didn't want to be in the same room with him anymore. “Do you treat everyone like this?” You feel your anger rising. He had no right to treat people like this. How many before you had gone through this? You watch him cross the room, seeming oblivious at your delicate attempt to escape, to file some papers in a desk on the opposite side of the room. “Treat like what? I am only responding in kind to you. Ever since you arrived you have been taking cheap shots at me, back chatting and having inappropriate interactions with Eren Jaeger.” You stop, what had Eren got to do with this? Granted he found you and Eren on the floor desperately trying to tickle each other, but it it was only a bit of fun between friends. “We were having a laugh. For your information, Eren is the first friend I have had since the attack on wall Maria. I think I'm entitled to at least be his friend! Also, while we are at it, it has absolutely nothing to do with you.” He paced towards you, you back away from him until you hit the desk. Fuck, he had cornered you. “Nothing to do with me?” He was toe to toe with you looking directly in your eyes. They were steely blue, piercingly gorgeous, and could probably see into your soul if you had the time to pause and think. Usually, eyes had different flecks of colour, but his were monotone, muted and  devoid, much like the person they belong to. He raises his hand, you close your eyes, waiting for him to strike you. It doesn't come, instead, your scarf is removed, and you feel a gentle touch your tender skin “I think it has everything to do with me.”