shapetorn - Tumblr blog

[shapetorn]

     “ life for a slayer is very simple: want, take, have. ”        faith lehane of the ‘buffy the vampire slayer’.         portrayed by lux. 

[shapetorn]

quandare·

❛⠀  I  GET  MEAN  WHEN  I’M  NERVOUS.  ⠀❜

*   @shapetorn·  ,

            “ do you find that you are nervous often? ”    demon turned therapist, playing roles and wearing suits was something you’d grown accustomed to over thousands of years and yet this one felt dull - it felt hollow.   lacking excitement and slow moving for a soul that sung to you like that of a canary.  how badly you’d wanted to ensnare him within a trap and watch him attempt to wiggle free.   and yet - you sat here, face cold and unmoving, statuesque in appearance with a notepad and pen on your lap; page empty and lacking words as you committed everything to memory as if keeping your own mental folder on miles fairchild. 

                “ what makes you nervous, shall we explore? ”   

[shapetorn]

like for a one liner. 

[shapetorn]

hi my name is lux, i’m a 25 year old non-binary individual in canada who had been living in a toxic and abuse household and am now being kicked out. i don’t have anyone else to stay with and have been trying to save for a place but do not have the funds right now to secure one.

my paypal is: https://www.paypal.me/luxurytea

please ignore my deadname. anything helps.

if you can also boost my tweet i would appreciate that too: https://twitter.com/luxurytea_/status/1368632426130505728?s=21

[shapetorn]

Details: The Angel appears to Hagar and Ishmael by Gioacchino Assereto (1640)

[shapetorn]

They understand that in hell, they will eat their own throats.

Ruth Irupé Sanabria, from “Ars Poetica,” Beasts Behave in Foreign Land (via lifeinpoetry)

[shapetorn]

stinki

yes they are. so are you. 

[shapetorn]

my plan today is to create a google doc with a history and character information to further flesh out gray’s character ; a history of their species, etc.  i miss this blog, i will also be looking into building new dynamics and plots again. 

[shapetorn]

for the time being you can find me @borispavsky

[shapetorn]

               IT APPEARS THAT I AM SOME KIND OF ABOMINATION

[shapetorn]

There are ways of dying that don’t end in funerals. Types of death you can’t smell.

Haruki Murakami, Blind Willow, Sleeping Woman (via quotespile)

[shapetorn]

quandare·

IN   SPITE   OF   QUALMS,      the   boy   sinks   in   his   seat,   basking    in    the   teenage   rite   of   passage   that   is   disrespect.           ❛     i   don’t   think   i   want   to.     ⠀❜       seed   of   doubt  had   been   planted,     though   germination   had   yet   to   take   place  as   he   recalls   a   pretty   changeling’s   reassurance  that   lying   would   unfetter   him.       ‘neath   hippic   lashes   do  eyes   burn   bright   with   revelation.         ❛      you   work   for   me,   don’t   you     ?     my   uncle   is   paying   you,    isn’t   he     ?     what   are     your    intentions,    doctor   —    ?   ⠀❜          he   doesn’t   wait   for   a   name.         ❛      i   can   pick   and   choose   what   i   want  talk   about,      and   i   don’t   want   you   asking   me   about   that   anymore.      choose   something   else.      ⠀❜  

    you had to give it to him , the boy had spunk.   he had fire and something more that lurked beneath the surface of his cold exterior.   pale lips upturned once again, amused.    “ my intentions, ”  ankles cross, slight wave of wrist carried a vague laissez faire attitude.   “ i am here for you, miles. you may call me gray, if you wish or don’t call me a thing. it does not bother me in the slightest. ”    the attitude that carried through each word that left the boys mouth served only to interest you more.   the mere idea that should you so much as wished, you could have reached out and snuffed out the very essence that coursed through veins.     “ if you insist. what is your relationship like with other people? do you keep many friends? ”    do you keep many friends, as if to say --- would you be missed once you die?    

[shapetorn]

quandare·

   ❛      I   ALREADY   GAVE   MY  ANSWER:      yes   and   no.     i   understood  what   i   meant   just   fine.    why   don’t   you   ?    ⠀❜       not   quite   as   acute   as   he   had   anticipated,    though   the   narrative   seemed   to   be   unfolding   before   him   rather   rapidly;   everyone   wants   something,   though   he   never   knew   what.      (    the   boy   is   astoundingly   heedless   of   the   bright,    gossamery   state   of   his   soul,    that   which   glimmered  the   surface   in   the   form   of  high - grade   charm.    )          ❛       if   you’re   dissatisfied,    that’s  more   your   problem   than   mine,    isn’t  it    ?       I  MEAN,   THAT’S  YOUR  JOB:      i  tell   you   things   and   you   make   sense   of   them.     ⠀❜  

demon turned therapist, hired keep to psychoanalyze the raven haired boy seated across from you.     psychoanalyze is what you intended on doing though unbeknownst to the mere mortal occupants, the analysis was strictly for your enjoyment.   to gain the knowledge that you so badly sought, to see if the soul you sought out seemed as seasoned as you believed.     “ i understood you just fine. while i do my best to make sense of them, it will only hinder you to not seek to make sense of them yourself. ”              a challenge, shifting weight, leaning void body against the right side of chair.    a near ache to act as if you cared about the therapeutic growth of this child though you played the act well, thousands of years of practice.    “ talk to me about the ‘no’ component of this accident. it is easier for us to understand ourselves by first confronting our actions and intentions. ”                  and what were your intentions if not driven by the need to devour? 

[shapetorn]

quandare·

   (     SCARIFY   THE   PREY,     find   yourself   ‘neath   its   succulent   skin,   carve   out   the   meat   and   imbed   the   concave   spaces   with   doubt;     miles   knew   the   game.    ).       ❛       why   is   the   question   whether   or   not   the   person   deserved   it      and   not   whether   or   not   it   was   an    accident  ?   ⠀❜    chin   inclines   defiantly,     bravado   throaty   and   convincing  enough   that   they   might   not   suspect   entombed   trepidation.    the   brazen   leap   from   his   expulsion   to   manslaughter;    whatever   stark   correlation   that   had   revealed   itself   to   the   smug   enigma   is   unbeknownst   to   the   young   scion.           ❛      that   doesn’t   make   what   i   said   any    different,    nor   i   don’t   see   how   that   has   anything   to   do   with   me,     seeing   as   i   haven’t   murdered   anyone.       WHAT  DO  YOU  WANT   ?   ⠀❜  

       “ correct, you have not murdered anyone. ”  stone shoulders rise and fall with a passive ease.  eyes remained dark and void, just like the vacant presence that loomed in the confines of this hollowed shell of a body.   lips pursed, head tilting.    “ we’ll get to what i want momentarily. i’m afraid we haven’t fully indulged my initial question, no?  at least, i did not find the answers i sought. ”  strand of blond hair pushed behind ear.    “ so then tell me, miles fairchild, was it an accident? you can be honest with yourself. ” 

[shapetorn]

shapetorn​:

gray loves to play with their victims before consuming. it’s a game. engaging them in conversation that at first seems harmless but becomes very ill hearted. they like to make people question their own motives and actions in life, make them rethink situations from a new angle. wanting to see if perhaps they are truly pure of heart or if a persons soul is tainted as well. it’s a way of seeing of these people can maintain their composure, keep it together. 

to add to this: even if they don’t consume the soul of that person. they are also prone to finding select interest in those they deem to have ‘special souls’. they might then start to lurk / stalk / keep tabs on that person, place themselves into that persons life in some capacity to learn as much as they can whilst still finding ways to push them. 

[shapetorn]

quandare·

    ❛       BUT  ACCIDENTS   ARE   JUST   THAT   —    ACCIDENTS.    ⠀❜    the   boy   speaks   aloud,   though   he   speaks   to   himself   rather   than   the   stranger,    as   if   to   remind   himself   of   what   he’d   believe   to   be   a   bygone   thought.       (      why  had   this   memory   resurfaced    ?     how   could   the   true   connotations    of   the   incident   be   contorted   as   he   remembered    ?      )       the   boy   shifts   again  as   the   creature   incites   a   certain   tenderness   that   he   hadn’t   felt   for   quite   some   time:     lamb - like     —       as   though   at   any  given   moment,      he   would   be   at   their   mercy,    made   to   be   impotent   and   small.      ❛        what   you’re   saying   doesn’t   make   any sense;      there   isn’t   any  intent   behind   accidents.     isn’t   that   the   point   ?   ⠀❜  

     “ you’re smart. ”   stated matter-of-factly, brow raising as bottom tier twists upwards in intrigued grin.   each changing expression or shifted position was noted, filed away within the confines of demonic entity ; as if the boy seated before you were just another soul that would eventually be up expiration.  he was, wasn’t he?        how seemingly easy it was that you could reach forward and take but you ceased.   there lay far more knowledge and information in the workings of the boys mind, too much to learn from seated child across from you.   it’d be a waste to watch it fade away.    hosted body remained still, statuesque despite the warped expression of amusement on tattooed face.  

     “ perhaps such. might i pose an example? ”  an unneeded inhale, “ a man is slighted in an incident with a friend of his. he harbours anger in his core until one day, a fight ensues and the weighted anger fuels. the result is worse than intended, perhaps a death.  the man claims it is an accident. some accidents have hidden factors. ”     expression becomes blank, a frozen vacant being now sat in place.     “ now, did they deserve it? ” 

[shapetorn]

Blake Paul Neubert