sharpnosedscout - Tumblr blog

[sharpnosedscout]

Embarrassed? Gav couldn't imagine why Clive's mother would be embarrassed about her son getting involved in theatre - but then, she wasn't anything like his own mum, from all he'd heard. At least Joshua and Lord Byron had been there to support Clive, if only in private performances. Gav knew that'd have guaranteed he could never have actually seen Clive act, but the thought was still nice.

Just as nice was watching the shift of Clive's expression after his assurance. Gav's heart both warmed and ached at that look, and he wanted to pepper it in kisses until it was overcome with merry affection. For now, Gav nodded, still holding onto his smile as warmly as he held Clive's hand.

"You'll be my first audience, after I've got some practice in." Only then did he glance down to their palms, a bit flustered by his own trail of thought. "For now, though, I... I really want to kiss you again," Gav admitted before a soft short huff of a sheepish laugh. His good eye met the other's deep blue gaze. "Maybe we could find that private spot?"

He nodded at first in reassurance. Gav very much wanted to sing for Clive, but it was a want he'd kept to himself - in part due to his somewhat sporadic practice in maintaining his voice, and in part because until now he'd thought it too romantic a gesture. The happy result of his confession, though, reignited that want quite vividly.

Gav's smile broadened at the thought of a young Clive onstage. He didn't fully grin, as it sounded like the other carried melancholy in the memories, but he refused to douse the mood. "Bet you were a marvel on stage, though. If I'd seen you act, I would've been smitten for years longer than I already was."

He turned a little more, closing both his hands around one of Clive's, expression as gentle and fond as his touch. "...An' I do want to. Sing for you, I mean. You're worth the effort, Clive. You're worth every effort."

[sharpnosedscout]

He nodded at first in reassurance. Gav very much wanted to sing for Clive, but it was a want he'd kept to himself - in part due to his somewhat sporadic practice in maintaining his voice, and in part because until now he'd thought it too romantic a gesture. The happy result of his confession, though, reignited that want quite vividly.

Gav's smile broadened at the thought of a young Clive onstage. He didn't fully grin, as it sounded like the other carried melancholy in the memories, but he refused to douse the mood. "Bet you were a marvel on stage, though. If I'd seen you act, I would've been smitten for years longer than I already was."

He turned a little more, closing both his hands around one of Clive's, expression as gentle and fond as his touch. "...An' I do want to. Sing for you, I mean. You're worth the effort, Clive. You're worth every effort."

While he spoke and after, Gav watched Clive in turn. He knew how easily, and for how many reasons, the other man could neglect to eat. Gav was just glad those instances didn't seem to be on purpose anymore. Especially when Kenneth and Molly worked so hard, on some of the best food he'd ever tasted. Not to mention, the soft glimmer of enjoyment in Clive's expression was one of countless things that made Gav fall so hard for him.

Speaking of Molly, she stopped by only long enough to collect their bowls and spoons without a word.

Gav, meanwhile, was too taken by Clive's smiling gaze meeting his to notice much else. Even so, a fresh flush arose alongside a sheepish chuckle. "Ahh, it's been a coeurl's age since I sang for anybody. I'd have to practice, find a new lute, hope I hold a candle to my old dama..." He bit his lower lip for a moment, then added earnestly, a little softer, "But one day, aye. I'd love for you to hear them."

[sharpnosedscout]

While he spoke and after, Gav watched Clive in turn. He knew how easily, and for how many reasons, the other man could neglect to eat. Gav was just glad those instances didn't seem to be on purpose anymore. Especially when Kenneth and Molly worked so hard, on some of the best food he'd ever tasted. Not to mention, the soft glimmer of enjoyment in Clive's expression was one of countless things that made Gav fall so hard for him.

Speaking of Molly, she stopped by only long enough to collect their bowls and spoons without a word.

Gav, meanwhile, was too taken by Clive's smiling gaze meeting his to notice much else. Even so, a fresh flush arose alongside a sheepish chuckle. "Ahh, it's been a coeurl's age since I sang for anybody. I'd have to practice, find a new lute, hope I hold a candle to my old dama..." He bit his lower lip for a moment, then added earnestly, a little softer, "But one day, aye. I'd love for you to hear 'em."

He didn't doubt Clive's assurance about the late Lord Rosfield. Gav had only ever heard stories about the man, but it had been nothing but good things. He liked to imagine the other's assertion meant the Duke of Rosaria himself would've approved of them, as a relationship. Gav did know that his own parents would have, wholeheartedly.

The answering squeeze to his hand soothed enough of the ache at the back of Gav's throat for his soup to go down easier. After his last bite, he nodded while he set aside his spoon and bowl, leaning his free hand's elbow atop the counter.

"He's worth missin'." Gav's gentle tone then brightened a little. "Only ever heard stories, o' course, but he did enough good for my dama to work on a ballad or two about 'im." Another soft chuckle. "Small world, eh?"

[sharpnosedscout]

He didn't doubt Clive's assurance about the late Lord Rosfield. Gav had only ever heard stories about the man, but it had been nothing but good things. He liked to imagine the other's assertion meant the Archduke of Rosaria himself would've approved of them, as a relationship. Gav did know that his own parents would have, wholeheartedly.

The answering squeeze to his hand soothed enough of the ache at the back of Gav's throat for his soup to go down easier. After his last bite, he nodded while he set aside his spoon and bowl, leaning his free hand's elbow atop the counter.

"He's worth missin'." Gav's gentle tone then brightened a little. "Only ever heard stories, but he did enough good for my dama to work on a ballad or two about 'im." Another soft chuckle. "Small world, eh?"

Gav's broad smile remained, though so did the tinge of melancholy behind it, as he glanced aside then back to Clive. "Aye, she did. ...An' the whole family would've loved you, really." He could imagine it with a clarity that ached sharp in his chest. His mum and dama doing everything to make Clive feel at home, cooking and singing and sharing childhood stories, to Gav's fond embarrassment. Eilis pressing for all the details about his confession, and ensuring Clive had enough bread for a whole regiment to take home. Owen begging to see the other's sword and maybe ask for lessons, while Ronan would sit quiet but cling to Clive's cape.

Gav lowered his gaze to his food again before the stinging melancholy could overtake his affection. Instead, with one hand holding his spoon, his other sought Clive's unoccupied palm for another tender squeeze and brushed a thumb over his knuckles.

"Sorry. Got lost in my head a moment." Even so, Gav didn't let go of Clive's hand while he set about finishing his soup.

[sharpnosedscout]

Gav's broad smile remained, though so did the tinge of melancholy behind it, as he glanced aside then back to Clive. "Aye, she did. ...An' the whole family would've loved you, really." He could imagine it with a clarity that ached sharp in his chest. His mum and dama doing everything to make Clive feel at home, cooking and singing and sharing childhood stories, to Gav's fond embarrassment. Eilis pressing for all the details about his confession, and ensuring Clive had enough bread for a whole regiment to take home. Owen begging to see the other's sword and maybe ask for lessons, while Ronan would sit quiet but cling to Clive's cape.

Gav lowered his gaze to his food again before the stinging melancholy could overtake his affection. Instead, with one hand holding his spoon, his other sought Clive's unoccupied palm for another tender squeeze and brushed a thumb over his knuckles.

"Sorry. Got lost in my head a moment." Even so, Gav didn't let go of Clive's hand while he set about finishing his soup.

Gav snickered and nodded his agreement. Much as he'd boast about the pair's cooking abilities any day of the week, he would much rather find them the best ingredients the Hideaway's coffers could afford. In the meantime, he'd enjoy their chocobo soup to the fullest. Coming home after days on travel rations was always the best seasoning. Eating a hot meal after finally confessing for the first time, even more so.

He was in the midst of another bite when Clive spoke again. That latter admission - about the other man's mother being, well, Anabella Rosfield - plucked at Gav's heartstrings, but he did his best to focus on memories of his own mother instead.

"She was a blacksmith in Elsennor - y'know, out near the east border. Did leatherwork sometimes too, since our tanner was gettin' on in years. She wasn't one for many words, but she made 'em count. Hardly ever raised her voice, neither." A warm chuckle escaped as another memory struck, gaze flicking down thoughtfully to his soup. "She gave the best hugs, the kind you feel down in your bones. Said more with those than all the words put together." His spoon stirred idly through what remained of his soup. "...Wee Owen was scared of thunder, but even after Ronan was born, we knew she had arms wide enough for all of us on stormy nights."

Gav's good eye lifted to Clive again, grinning past the melancholy. "And I know she would've loved meeting you."

[sharpnosedscout]

Gav snickered and nodded his agreement. Much as he'd boast about the pair's cooking abilities any day of the week, he would much rather find them the best ingredients the Hideaway's coffers could afford. In the meantime, he'd enjoy their chocobo soup to the fullest. Coming home after days on travel rations was always the best seasoning. Eating a hot meal after finally confessing for the first time, even more so.

He was in the midst of another bite when Clive spoke again. That latter admission - about the other man's mother being, well, Anabella Rosfield - plucked at Gav's heartstrings, but he did his best to focus on memories of his own mother instead.

"She was a blacksmith in Elsennor - y'know, out near the east border. Did leatherwork sometimes too, since our tanner was gettin' on in years. She wasn't one for many words, but she made 'em count. Hardly ever raised her voice, neither." A warm chuckle escaped as another memory struck, gaze flicking down thoughtfully to his soup. "She gave the best hugs too, the kind you feel down in your bones. Said more with those than all the words put together." His spoon stirred idly through what remained of his soup. "...Wee Owen was scared of thunder, but even after Ronan was born, we knew she had arms wide enough for all of us on stormy nights."

Gav's good eye lifted to Clive again, grinning past the melancholy. "And I know she would've loved meeting you."

That feel of Clive's heated blush he'd caught beneath gloved fingertips was comforting, in a way - proof that Gav wasn't the only one who'd been so preoccupied as to ignore their surroundings. He rested one palm at the edge of his own bowl, while subtly pressing the spoon's handle against his other, trying to ease the almost physical itch to hold Clive close once more.

The other man's smiling admission tripped up Gav's pulse, turning his expression more flustered even as it widened his grin. Gav ducked his head a little, glancing down then back to Clive, until the latter's attention turned to their food. He waited to watch Clive take the first bite. The look on that handsome face was endearingly priceless, worth the brief delay and just what he'd hoped for.

Only then did Gav start on his serving of chocobo soup. His own look brightened, with a faint happy hum in the back of his throat, at his first mouthful; nothing could match the memory of his mother's version, but he never expected it to. Kenneth and Molly remained in a league all their own.

Gav licked a stray drop of broth from his upper lip, as a remark from Clive drew his gaze over. He beamed again. "Aye, it's sure to run out fast once more folk come in. I swear, those two could make boiled tree bark taste good." A chuckle, then Gav added, "Though, let's never ask 'em to try, eh? Not when we can have this."

[sharpnosedscout]

[sharpnosedscout]

That feel of Clive's heated blush he'd caught beneath gloved fingertips was comforting, in a way - proof that Gav wasn't the only one who'd been so preoccupied as to ignore their surroundings. He rested one palm at the edge of his own bowl, while subtly pressing the spoon's handle against his other, trying to ease the almost physical itch to hold Clive close once more.

The other man's smiling admission tripped up Gav's pulse, turning his expression more flustered even as it widened his grin. Gav ducked his head a little, glancing down then back to Clive, until the latter's attention turned to their food. He waited to watch Clive take the first bite. The look on that handsome face was endearingly priceless, worth the brief delay and just what he'd hoped for.

Only then did Gav start on his serving of chocobo soup. His own look brightened, with a faint happy hum in the back of his throat, at his first mouthful; nothing could match the memory of his mother's version, but he never expected it to. Kenneth and Molly remained in a league all their own.

Gav licked a stray drop of broth from his upper lip, as a remark from Clive drew his gaze over. He beamed again. "Aye, it's sure to run out fast once more folk come in. I swear, those two could make boiled tree bark taste good." A chuckle, then Gav added, "Though, let's never ask 'em to try, eh? Not when we can have this."

Clive's softspoken admission, edged in between his question and Gav's answer, clenched painfully around the scout's heart for a moment. If allowed, he'd love nothing more than to remind Clive of the feeling again and again in every way he could imagine, until it was pain that was forgotten.

Gav kept that abrupt yet ironclad promise to himself, for now. Better to show it than say it. "Just what I was thinkin'."

"Then it seems I've perfect timing," Kenneth remarked, setting a steaming bowl of chocobo soup in front of each of them. "Careful, it's still quite hot." He offered them only a warm, understanding smile, before taking up his cane to cross to another part of the kitchen.

Though Gav's face burned with another flustered blush, his hands had remained on Clive's cheek and in his hold. They retreated in obvious reluctance, while what remained of his earlier grin turned slightly sheepish once more. His nerves shook at the loss of contact, even as Gav tipped his head toward the bowls. "G'won. Don't want your first taste gettin' cold 'cause I can't keep my hands off ya."

[sharpnosedscout]

Clive's softspoken admission, edged in between his question and Gav's answer, clenched painfully around the scout's heart for a moment. If allowed, he'd love nothing more than to remind Clive of the feeling again and again in every way he could imagine, until it was pain that was forgotten.

Gav kept that abrupt yet ironclad promise to himself, for now. Better to show it than say it. "Just what I was thinkin'."

"Then it seems I've perfect timing," Kenneth remarked, setting a steaming bowl of chocobo soup in front of each of them. "Careful, it's still quite hot." He offered them only a warm, understanding smile, before taking up his cane to cross to another part of the kitchen.

Though Gav's face burned with another flustered blush, his hands had remained on Clive's cheek and in his hold. They retreated in obvious reluctance, while what remained of his earlier grin turned slightly sheepish once more. His nerves shook at the loss of contact, even as Gav tipped his head toward the bowls. "G'won. Don't want your first taste gettin' cold 'cause I can't keep my hands off ya."

Just that squeeze of their interlaced hands was enough to stumble Gav's pulse a little. He might've wondered if this was even real, if not for the solid presence of the counter, his stool, and the half-registered sounds of Kenneth and Molly still working away in the kitchen. It was real, and better than any dream for that.

Gav's stuttered heart then swelled with fondness at Clive's question. He smiled wide and giddy, but didn't laugh, only smoothed his thumb along the other's cheekbone. "A far sight better than just 'okay', aye. If we didn't have soup on the way, I'd find somewhere we could spend the rest o' the day kissin'." To punctuate, he gently pecked one corner of the other man's lovely mouth.

[sharpnosedscout]

Just that squeeze of their interlaced hands was enough to stumble Gav's pulse a little. He might've wondered if this was even real, if not for the solid presence of the counter, his stool, and the half-registered sounds of Kenneth and Molly still working away in the kitchen. It was real, and better than any dream for that.

Gav's stuttered heart then swelled with fondness at Clive's question. He smiled wide and giddy, but didn't laugh, only smoothed his thumb along the other's cheekbone. "A far sight better than just 'okay', aye. If we didn't have soup on the way, I'd find somewhere we could spend the rest o' the day kissin'." To punctuate, he gently pecked one corner of the other man's lovely mouth.

He let Clive close most of that remaining distance - not out of any disinterest or hesitation, but simply because having only one eye limited his depth perception. Gav didn't want to smash their noses together on accident. Those last couple inches, though, he did move in to meet the kiss.

As soon as their lips touched, Gav was reminded of his own limited experience. What scattered one-night stands he had snuck in over the years were most of his practice. Still, Clive seemed to carry a similar uncertainty. He found that comforting, in a way.

Gav didn't deepen the kiss yet, that'd be a bit much in his opinion, but it was fed by a steady stream of enthusiasm. One palm cradled Clive's cheek again, while he leaned forward a little where he sat and his other hand interlaced their fingers. He'd love nothing more than to curl up with Clive and kiss for hours, yet reason dimly reminded him of where they were and why they were sitting there.

When Gav did break away, it was with obvious reluctance and only far enough to meet Clive's eyes again.

[sharpnosedscout]

He let Clive close most of that remaining distance - not out of any disinterest or hesitation, but simply because having only one eye limited his depth perception. Gav didn't want to smash their noses together on accident. Those last couple inches, though, he did move in to meet the kiss.

As soon as their lips touched, Gav was reminded of his own limited experience. What scattered one-night stands he had snuck in over the years were most of his practice. Still, Clive seemed to carry a similar uncertainty. He found that comforting, in a way.

Gav didn't deepen the kiss yet, that'd be a bit much in his opinion, but it was fed by a steady stream of enthusiasm. One palm cradled Clive's cheek again, while he leaned forward a little where he sat and his other hand interlaced their fingers. He'd love nothing more than to curl up with Clive and kiss for hours, yet reason dimly reminded him of where they were and why they were sitting there.

When Gav did break away, it was with obvious reluctance and only far enough to meet Clive's eyes again.

Gav could almost see the wheels turning in Clive's head, but managed to hold onto his resolve long enough to hear the other's answer. And more besides. His pulse stumbled again at that endearing, whispered request. By all the bleeding gods, just when Gav thought he couldn't fall any harder for this man...

"I'd kiss you anywhere, Clive." His fingertips trailed along the other's jawline. "Sure, I might've thought this would never happen - but so long as it is, I plan t'be proud about it." To ease his own learned reflexes of keeping such feelings secret, in part, but also to be honest in the way his dearest friend deserved. Gav abhorred even seeming like he was any measure of ashamed about being with Clive. He was one lucky bastard, and he wanted to show it.

[sharpnosedscout]

Gav could almost see the wheels turning in Clive's head, but managed to hold onto his resolve long enough to hear the other's answer. And more besides. His pulse stumbled again at that endearing, whispered request. By all the bleeding gods, just when Gav thought he couldn't fall any harder for this man...

"I'd kiss you anywhere, Clive." His fingertips trailed along the other's jawline. "Sure, I might've thought this would never happen - but so long as it is, I plan t'be proud about it." To break his own learned reflexes of keeping such feelings secret, in part, but also to be honest in the way his dearest friend deserved. Gav abhorred even seeming like he was any measure of ashamed about being with Clive. He was one lucky bastard, and he wanted to show it.

A second laugh, slightly louder and longer but no less sheepish. Of course it'd be obvious. At least Clive didn't seem to mind.

Particularly when that admission made it clear that they were on similar footing, in terms of experience. The only part Gav disliked about it was why Clive had lacked this kind of intimacy. But, wishes couldn't turn back time, and he saw no reason to let it be a barrier anyway. Imperial bastards didn't deserve that kind of influence over them.

"Well, there's no one I'd rather be in the same boat with." When Gav managed a smile this time, it came easier and broader than before. The confession was such a weight off his chest, he felt a little giddy and almost shaky without it. "And we can sail as fast or slow as we want. Find our own pace, like." Another small squeeze to the hand he still held, with a glint of determination in his eye. "We'll have plenty of time, if I've got anythin' to say about it."

[sharpnosedscout]

A second laugh, slightly louder and longer but no less sheepish. Of course it'd be obvious. At least Clive didn't seem to mind.

Particularly when that admission made it clear that they were on similar footing, in terms of experience. The only part Gav disliked about it was why Clive had lacked this kind of intimacy. But, wishes couldn't turn back time, and he saw no reason to let it be a barrier anyway. Imperial bastards didn't deserve that kind of influence over them.

"Well, there's no one I'd rather be in the same boat with." When Gav managed a smile this time, it came easier and broader than before. The confession was such a weight off his chest, he felt a little giddy and almost shaky without it. "And we can sail as fast or slow as we want. Find our own pace, like." Another small squeeze to the hand he still held, with a glint of determination in his eye. "We'll have plenty of time, if I've got anythin' to say about it."

Just the sensation of Clive's cheek against his palm is enough to spark a shivering thrill down Gav's spine. His thumb brushed a small, gentle arc over the other man's cheekbone, lips parted in unspoken awe at being given this much. He'd been so prepared for a rejection, even a kindhearted one... that thrill and awe drowned out his habitual self-recriminations. Gav wasn't being a hopeless, besotted, overeager twat. Not this time. Not when Clive shared his feelings.

Still, his good eye darted a bit as he tried to work out when exactly his attraction and friendship had joined into love. Clive's reassurance helped, since Gav's flustered mind couldn't quite reach a prompt answer. And when the other took a shaky breath, there was such an importance to the sound he held his tongue after.

Even with so much buildup and confession, Gav's initial reply was a soft, "You mean it...?" He caught himself, blush clinging brighter to his cheeks and ears. "Er, s-sorry, stupid question. You wouldn't say so if you didn't. It's just..." His breath snagged faintly, then released in a quiet, sheepish, almost apologetic laugh. "My first time, confessin' like this to anyone. You can probably tell, eh?"

[sharpnosedscout]

Just the sensation of Clive's cheek against his palm is enough to spark a shivering thrill down Gav's spine. His thumb brushed a small, gentle arc over the other man's cheekbone, lips parted in unspoken awe at being given this much. He'd been so prepared for a rejection, even a kindhearted one... that thrill and awe drowned out his habitual self-recriminations. Gav wasn't being a hopeless, besotted, overeager twat. Not this time. Not when Clive shared his feelings.

Still, his good eye darted a bit as he tried to work out when exactly his attraction and friendship had joined into love. Clive's reassurance helped, since Gav's flustered mind couldn't quite reach a prompt answer. And when the other took a shaky breath, there was such an importance to the sound he held his tongue after.

Even with so much buildup and confession, Gav's initial reply was a soft, "You mean it...?" He caught himself, blush clinging brighter to his cheeks and ears. "Er, s-sorry, stupid question. You wouldn't say so if you didn't. It's just..." His breath snagged faintly, then released in a quiet, sheepish, almost apologetic laugh. "My first time, confessin' like this to anyone. You can probably tell, eh?"

The tenderness in that brush of a thumb over his cheek tautened his throat and chest again. Despite all his senses shouting how real this was, Gav still struggled against his kneejerk fears and doubts. He hated it, how his own mind was trying to cast shadows on a bright moment like this, just because of some backwards-thinking arseholes he ran around with as a teenager.

'Why not you?' Because I'm... me. Too loud, or too brash, or too tactless. Always trying to please, please, please, like a dog begging for attention. Being so bloody dramatic over a confession that surely would've been easy and normal for most others his age. Unable to keep everyone safe when it mattered most. But, then again... Clive had seen all that, surely, and yet they were still here, talking like this. That counted for something. Quite a lot of something.

And hearing the other man's voice shake too kept that admission from stinging. It didn't sound like a difference of feeling, more like the exact fear of loss that had kept Gav silent about it for so long. The thought bolstered his courage, enough to open his clenched hand and let it rest gingerly on Clive's unmarked cheek. "I am sure, Clive. I've been sure a long time. Almost embarrassing, like." Gav managed a short, soft, sheepish laugh. He could still faintly hear the pounding of his own heart. "And I've seen all of that; got some o' the same myself, y'know. Hasn't changed how I feel about you."

[sharpnosedscout]

The tenderness in that brush of a thumb over his cheek tautened his throat and chest again. Despite all his senses shouting how real this was, Gav still struggled against his kneejerk fears and doubts. He hated it, how his own mind was trying to cast shadows on a bright moment like this, just because of some backwards-thinking arseholes he ran around with as a teenager.

'Why not you?' Because I'm... me. Too loud, or too brash, or too tactless. Always trying to please, please, please, like a dog begging for attention. Being so bloody dramatic over a confession that surely would've been easy and normal for most others his age. Unable to keep everyone safe when it mattered most. But, then again... Clive had seen all that, surely, and yet they were still here, talking like this. That counted for something. Quite a lot of something.

And hearing the other man's voice shake too kept that admission from stinging. It didn't sound like a difference of feeling, more like the exact fear of loss that had kept Gav silent about it for so long. The thought bolstered his courage, enough to open his clenched hand and let it rest gingerly on Clive's unmarked cheek. "I am sure, Clive. I've been sure a long time. Almost embarrassing, like." Gav managed a short, soft, sheepish laugh. He could still faintly hear the pounding of his own heart. "And I've seen all of that; got some o' the same myself, y'know. Hasn't changed how I feel about you."

The hitch of Gav's breath around the thud of his heart would only be audible to Clive. His good eye widened, only to squint a little against the threat of tears. Was he daydreaming, somehow? No, the subtle weight of Clive's forehead against his was too tangible, and his imagination was rarely ever this optimistic about such things. Somehow, beautifully, wonderfully, he was being offered acceptance.

Maybe even... reciprocation? Gav's self-effacing doubts struggled to stand up against the guidance of his hand to Clive's chest, or the hastened pulse beneath his palm, just barely out of tempo with his own. His eye squeezed shut in sheer relief, a small drop sliding down his cheek, while a smile flickered at the corners of his mouth - wanting to settle in, but still afraid this might all turn against him somehow.

"It... it feels like this," Gav managed to assure in a whisper. "Like my heart wants to fly out o' my chest, just t' be closer to yours. Like I want to do everything with you, 'cause it's you. Like I almost can't believe I'm the cause of this." His fingers curled slightly against Clive's chest, over the other's thrumming heart, to illustrate. "Me, out of anyone you could have."

[sharpnosedscout]

The hitch of Gav's breath around the thud of his heart would only be audible to Clive. His good eye widened, only to squint a little against the threat of tears. Was he daydreaming, somehow? No, the subtle weight of Clive's forehead against his was too tangible, and his imagination was rarely ever this optimistic about such things. Somehow, beautifully, wonderfully, he was being offered acceptance.

Maybe even... reciprocation? Gav's self-effacing doubts struggled to stand up against the guidance of his hand to Clive's chest, or the hastened pulse beneath his palm, just barely out of tempo with his own. His eye squeezed shut in sheer relief, a small drop sliding down his cheek, while a smile flickered at the corners of his mouth - wanting to settle in, but still afraid this might all turn against him somehow.

"It... it feels like this," Gav managed to assure in a whisper. "Like my heart wants to fly out o' my chest, just t' be closer to yours. Like I want to do everything with you, 'cause it's you. Like I almost can't believe I'm the cause of this." His fingers curled slightly against Clive's chest, over the other's thrumming heart, to illustrate. "Me, out of anyone you could have."

So many ways of finally admitting it crashed against learned, self-conscious admonishment like a sea storm meeting a rocky shore. Gav's clenched free hand tightened a little, so he wouldn't squeeze Clive's palm too hard. How easy it was to imagine that grounding touch being pulled away, before a quick tactful exit that he'd try to pretend wouldn't hurt.

'I wouldn't laugh.' Thank you. You should. 'I'm not going anywhere.' Please don't. Please don't leave. Would that change if you knew what this was? 'It won't ruin anything.' By the Founder, I want that to be true.

Gav glanced toward Kenneth and Molly; both looked genuinely busy preparing the chocobo soup, plus a few other options and additions, without any tells of eavesdropping. He then looked to Clive again. Rushing waves overtook jagged stone, and they were the color of those beautiful gentle eyes. "...Even if I'm in love with you?"

His throat tightened after the last word left his mouth, heart pounding against his ribs and shoulders tensed to brace himself. Even so, he didn't release Clive's hand.

[sharpnosedscout]

So many ways of finally admitting it crashed against learned, self-conscious admonishment like a sea storm meeting a rocky shore. Gav's clenched free hand tightened a little, so he wouldn't squeeze Clive's palm too hard. How easy it was to imagine that grounding touch being pulled away, before a quick tactful exit that he'd try to pretend wouldn't hurt.

'I wouldn't laugh.' Thank you. You should. 'I'm not going anywhere.' Please don't. Please don't leave. Would that change if you knew what this was? 'It won't ruin anything.' By the Founder, I want that to be true.

Gav glanced toward Kenneth and Molly; both looked genuinely busy preparing the chocobo soup, plus a few other options and additions, without any tells of eavesdropping. He then looked to Clive again. Rushing waves overtook jagged stone, and they were the color of those beautiful gentle eyes. "...Even if I'm in love with you?"

His throat tightened as the last word left his mouth, heart pounding against his ribs and shoulders tensed to brace himself. And yet, he didn't release Clive's hand.

Clive's prompt answer tugged Gav's stare back up to those captivating blue eyes. The truth strained harder against his fear, clawing at his throat and yearning to meet that gentle look in total blind trust. He swallowed hard, but it did nothing to ease that sensation.

"Then sometimes I wish I was a little less human," Gav admitted in a rushed-out whisper. But he was already shaking his head at himself by the time he took his next inhale. "No, I don't mean that." Gav's palm dragged down his face with a sigh before dropping, while his other still kept hold of Clive's hand. "It's just... it's all this." Free fingertips tapped his chest a few times. "I know it only hurts to keep everything in, all knotted up, like. But the thought of lettin' it go, lettin' it out is..." He trailed off, free hand curling closed around empty air.

Gav's jaw tensed subtly, attempting to stay steady. A part of him hated how grave he was making this sound, but making light of it when Clive was being so earnest seemed wrong. Even so, he added with a faint wry, sheepish huff, "You'd probably laugh if you knew what it was, and me makin' such a fuss. It's not even anything bad, but... but I couldn't stand it if I ruined what we've got."