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[shawn4yhwh]

If there were no darkness, how would we know what the light does?

If there were no evil, how would we know what goodness is?

If there were no villain, how would we know who the hero is?

Why do we need to know the bad before valuing the good?

Cus only when i starved, i knew how important is the food.

[shawn4yhwh]

8th September '22

•Life and death•

Cakes were being prepared a day before, towards a joyous and exciting day, it was the day my brother was born, 8th sep, all ready, having planned and articulated every hour of celebration for the next day, time was passing fast, all smiles, and light hearted, celebrating birth, it was special!

....till my mom got a call she was told that my grandmother was critical and had to be admitted to the hospital. Mom and dad immediately stopped all our preparations and rushed to the hospital, after a long time of scans and check ups, it was concluded she was brain dead.

The final rites were being prepared a day before the funeral, the day my loving Mai, passed away, 8th sep. It didn't matter now, if everything went according to the plan, as the day felt like it hardly passed away, we mourned as we did our parts. Sadness and all heavy hearted, filled us for the soul departed. Death is for everyone, but my tears for her salvation had deeper context- the day of her death, was difficult for everyone.

I carried the coffin of her dead body, now it's stuck in my mind, how she carried us when we couldn't walk, each and everytime, i carried her weight, only that she wasn't alive, i can't put into words, only tears spoke my mind.

" Mai, as we called her, was the best grandmother i could ask for, i can't stop thinking about the times when i came to kurla, walking the small, but warm and welcoming, challs to her house,

She was the most brightening, expectant and the loveliest person.

She captured my mind as she would be all ready to welcome us, with her love language, good food and a wide smile.

She knew i loved Kairis (raw mangoes), so she would request me to inform her a day before if i was to come over, she would make her special pork curry, and she was the only face i would expect standing at the door to welcome us.

She was my wall, when mumma used to shout at us as she would stop her, she was my blanket, when she took us in her arms, when we were little to comfort us. She was my escape, ever ready to tend to us. I remember always asking her to pat me to sleep when we were little taking turns with my brother.

She was never self-serving, she would be restless till we were at complete rest, she would make herself, and herself only at chaos, till we had complete peace.

We felt at home wherever she was present.

And the day before as I walked the challs again, to her house, i never before walked those dark, wet alleys, with such grief, i couldn't stop my tears, knowing that the light of my loving escape wasn't there anymore,

who would stand the doors to greet me now? Expectantly with a big smile, and a love that didn't care about anything else but to serve, just like Christ.

A love that made me want to spend time with her.

never did i imagine, even in my wildest dreams that I'd have to lose her so early,

that I'd have to write for her this letter of love, but only without her reading this, i wish, i could talk to her one more time, take those dishes from her worn and tired hands to wash them, tell her i love her, and ask her to get some rest, before she would rest forever.

We miss her.

Lord Jesus, i thankyou for her."

[shawn4yhwh]

2nd September '22

Gathered my friends, A, Cy and Chris, to remind ourselves of our purpose.

Confused and conflicted, but now clear and concise, we lived for the world, now we'll be living for Christ.

Our purpose is eternal. A temporary purpose is, but only till we sleep in our soul, but after we pass away, which can be the next second, what then? we were made to be with God forever. It's as clear as crystal to us now.

Proverbs 16:6

Christ in His love and mercy provides an atonement for our iniquity, and the fear of the Lord will keep us from evil, this is our foundation as we turn into men, accepting and recieving the finished work on the cross.

A fear that keeps us from the flames, and a love that lights us up on fire,

a day we sang of His Name, and surrendered our lives to the Messiah.

As we confessed and repented, He sanctified us in mercy, He opened our eyes, now we're free from our curses.

We need Your strength to be the light, there's nothing better than Your presence, Lord let Your glory shine through us, as we're sealed in Christ as brethren.

🌻☁️