sheep-on-leash - Tumblr blog

[sheep-on-leash]

i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

[sheep-on-leash]

i'm literally the priest's favorite sacrificial lamb because i am so docile and sweet and i hold very still when they put the rope around my neck and i trot along so happily while they lead me to the altar and they do not even have to tie me down because i lie so very still and only bleat once or twice in my lovely lamb voice and when the knife comes down it cuts through me like butter and i offer no resistance and i bleed so prettily all over my new white wool and my guts all unspool like the most beautiful shining yarn and my eyes are animal and dumb and hold no accusation and every time i die i come right back as another little lamb because the priest loves me so so much and he always chooses me for the sacrifice every time and he always places one hand on my small and twitching nose to calm me while he lifts the knife and he doesn't do it for the other lambs only me because i'm his favorite

[sheep-on-leash]

You know how you used to be able to shear sheep just by punching them in minecraft?

Imagine that if you started caressing me too hard, all my wool teleported off me and I immediately got naked?

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Me every day :3

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For the record, NNN is an unhealthy and frankly stupid trend built on a mountain of harmful beliefs.

It is november first, and I just busted a nut. It felt great. You should too.

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Reblog to call me a good girl

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Trick or sheep!

You get sheep!!

Ba-a-a-a-a-ah!

You now have the sheep for use as you see fit!

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Teick or treat!!!

Oh!! Treat!! Definitely treat!

Alas, I, ah. Kinda forgot to stock up on candy.

I guess I'll have to be the treat, hmm~? :3

[sheep-on-leash]

You didn't ask me for a trick or treat so I took it upon myself to tri- I mean treat you!!! You be a good sheep, alright?~

Oh, I- wwha-

Yyh.. Y-yeah, I'll.. be good.. I can just.. keep.. Looking..

[sheep-on-leash]

Teick or treat!!!

Oh!! Treat!! Definitely treat!

Alas, I, ah. Kinda forgot to stock up on candy.

I guess I'll have to be the treat, hmm~? :3

[sheep-on-leash]

Birthday! Today is my birthday! I am older! I am nineteen!

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like any of my gifts include three muscular reptile men with hypnosis ready to fuck me into a puddle on the ground.

Oh well! Guess I'll just have to settle for getting high as a kite. That works too!

[sheep-on-leash]

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Found this on Pinterest, but count this screenshot as a reblog

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FUCK YEAH!!!!!! SLAY A THOUSAND FOR ME

I'm getting hypnotized on discord in front of a bunch of weird transsexuals, while you're.. Oh, who am I kidding, you're probably doing the same thing if you've found this.

We are not the same We probably are the same.

[sheep-on-leash]

Aw, no, it's Gompers! Basically, Mabel duct taped them together and that's marriage for them. But now's your chance to figure out who the hecc™ I am! So...

The skeleton

Gompers

They don't have anything in common! Buuut you might be able to figure out who I am from them!

Gahhh, the goat!! I can't believe I didn't think of that. The fact that there were so many plausible people who would marry a pig.. Sorry I didn't quite stand up to your lore expertise, hahah!

So, you're related to goats and bones, huh? Well, as chance would have it, I do know someone who ticks both of those boxes perfectly.. Unless you're a completely different nerdy goatperson on the internet, which isn't entirely impossible, but unlikely.

Does it sound like I have the right idea, mystery person? :3

[sheep-on-leash]

Ooh, not quite! The correct answer was...

That one skeleton with the Hawaiian shirt and shades! It was a lesser scene, so I don't blame you for not knowing!

The second and final hint...

Who marries Waddles? (No, not that one lady.) This comes from a post-credit scene, I believe!

Ah! Nuts. I don't remember that skeleton at all, hah.

Shit, I don't even remember waddles even getting married.. All I can think of when you mention him is that post-credits scene where he's in the businessman costume.

Gahh who would be crazy enough to marry a pig? Lazy susan? McGucket? One of Mabel's friends, maybe? I can't even imagine who you're talking about when you mention the 'one lady'. You've really got me out-trivia'd here.

I'm.. I'm just.. Wait, no, Bodacious T. The news reporter. Final answer. I have zero evidence or memory to back this up, it's just a gut feeling.

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WAKE UP, SHEEPLE!

That's right, it's me! The one who compared you to Dipper Pines who got a fetish when he was forced to do the lamby dance!

I'm going to play a little game with you!

By this time, you've probably at least seen me around, so you may know some things about me!

What I am going to do is play trivia with you! I have two questions relating to Gravity Falls, that also have something to do with me! And you're going to guess who I am!

Sound good? No? Well, I mean, if you answer this, it's already happened, so...

What is the first attraction that Stan Pines ever makes?

Oh! Oh, gosh, a game of trivia.. Gosh, it's been so long since I've watched that show, um..

I'm really racking my brain for stuff in the mystery shack. I remember the jar of eyes, the taxidermied rabbit mixed with something else, the fake mermaid..

WAIT! Wait. Wait, wasn't it the mannequins? The wax meuseum? I think I remember there being a flashback to when stan used to run that during that episode. So that would mean it'd pre-date a lot of other things..

Wax meuseum! Final answer. Pressing the big red button and locking that in.