shellsandbones

[shellsandbones]

Ya know it's great that milennials got rid of the boomer 'I hate my wife' genre of humor, but it sucks that they immediately replaced it with 'I resent my kids' humor instead.

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My encounters pt. 1: Junk Shop Dave

So, I tend to be a bit of a magnet for crazy people, and it has been suggested to me that the people of tumblr may appreciate my stories of these people. So, for the first one, I'll share the most recent.

My story starts with me going for a long walk, ending up in an old once-industrial area full of funky little shops. In one of the more disheveled historical buildings, I spotted a sign. It looked handmade, and read "Junk Heaven- SHOP OPEN COME ON IN!" My curiosity was immediately piqued. I tried the door. It appeared to be either locked or sticky. I was almost ready to leave when a man poked his head out the door, apparently looking for a customer who had left their jacket behind.

He was middle aged (probably in his forties). Friendly looking. Grey stubble, probably bald under his baseball cap. A little shorter than me, though I'm tall for a woman. One of his front teeth was chipped, badly enough I thought it was missing at first. I asked him if the shop was open. He enthusiastically welcomed me in, introducing himself as Dave.

And his shop was floor to ceiling full of miscellaneous items he'd found while dumpster diving. Oh, and a pile of jeans that his landlord (?) Who apparently owned a jeans shop and was dying of ALS (??) told him to sell.

Realistically though, I didn't get much of a chance to look around. This dude talked at me for like, an hour straight. It was interesting enough to listen to, don't get me wrong, but I could barely get a word in edgewise. At one point I let slip that I'm in grad school and he immediately started making fun of me for it, telling me I was wasting my life (my dude, you dumpster dive for a living).

He was close to giving me a tour of his apartment (behind the junk shop, naturally), when I finally found an opening to start edging toward the door (by this point I had started really needing to pee).

So, I finally found an opening to say "I need to go." And as I'm hustling out the door, he says:

"So, uh...coffee sometime?"

Me: "...No."

Also me, surprised at how harsh that sounded coming out: "...respectfully."

So yeah, that was my encounter with a strange man who runs a junk shop. Hope you enjoyed.

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As a Canadian, I think our pronunciation of 'Fuckin' is underrated

bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right

the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears

the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry

if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, bellend, etc.

and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real

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i've been on tumblr since 2009 and we do the "this website is getting shut down" panic every few years like clockwork but no matter how much anyone plugs their bluesky (and i like bluesky! i have one!) there is simply no socmed platform that replicates tumblr in the way that i enjoy using it. nowhere else can i trade 10k word posts back and forth between strangers who are just as obsessed with something as me. they'll have to carry me off this platform feet first.

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Dressmaking in Paris, 1907.

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Has anyone else noticed that they do this?

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"I'm in my late 20s and I'm scared I've already peaked" just don't peak then, idiot. what do you mean like you're going to just stop trying to think harder and build taller and learn more and get luckier and read deeper and dress better and fuck weirder and run faster and draw crazier and smoke danker and dance bigger and steal better and stun everyone with your cunty charm and zeal because, what, you think those are the rules? get real. get up. you have another 50 years and you're not going to use them??? give them to me.

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This has been the vibe lately. Just a gentle comfort with existing on this planet.

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It's not that Hozier looks like Jesus, it's that if you make Jesus white he looks like an Irish indie musician.

But really, it's that Hozier looks like Cesare Borgia

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I wonder what this building used to be used for.

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RARE Giant Natural Ammolite from Alberta, Canada. With the rare purple and blue colors.

Credit ©️ @dresca_7 /IG

DresCa

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Who says cats and dogs don't get along?

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This is the vibe today

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