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[shennigwriites]

“❛  i’ll  hold  your  hand  the  whole  way  through  ,  don’t  worry  .  ❜  claire and luke.”

“It’s not that I know it’s not real. I do. I get that. But it’s doesn’t change the way I feel about it.” 

Claire had never considered herself to be the most rational person. There were many words that could describe her - artistic, soft, idealistic, nervous - any quite a few more. Rational, however, was not on the list. That was something she had made her peace with a long time ago. It wasn’t as if she was the only one, and that did bring her some comfort. The knowledge that around the world, there were thousands of people who would react in the same way. It just so happened that none of them were here with her, in this moment, to share in that. 

Luke was here though. 

As her eyes turned to meet his, Claire made another mental list. This time, one relating to him (and her in a sense) as the way he made her feel began to swirl around - safe, known, understood. That was why, no matter how irrational her thoughts may be, she knew that he would be the one person she could share it with. The one person she could share anything with and it wouldn’t be used against her. 

“I’ll hold your hand the whole way through, don’t worry.”

“I know you will.”

The response came without thought, without hesitation. Claire knew that, above anything else, he would be here. He was always there for her. Even in situation such as these - simple, silly situations like settling down on a couch to watch Insidious. 

It was something of value, something to be appreciated, the knowledge that someone would always be there. It was still hard for her to accept, but he had proven time and time again to be unlike any other person that had crossed her path. Especially the ones that left scars where others had left flowers. 

Still maintaining eye contact, Claire again went over the words that described her. Artistic, soft, idealistic - nervous. That one was relatively new. That one she was will learning to cope with. Unfortunately, it had meant that everyone else in her life had to learn how to cope with it as well. With her trust issues, her self-doubt, her anxious thoughts and how they manifested in her behavious. From the beginning, Luke had been helping repair what someone else had broken. 

She was tired. Of the thoughts, the actions, the past, everything, all of it, dictating how she lived her present. 

Claire liked Luke. In a way that she didn’t like anyone else, and if she was being honest with herself, everyone probably already knew that. Perhaps he knew it as well. But Luke was kind, and patient, and he was giving her time to come to terms with it herself. With what it meant opening herself up to again. Wouldn’t it be worth it, though? Didn’t she deserve it?

Didn’t he? 

A deep breath. A burst of courage, fighting through the overwhelming nausea building in her stomach. 

“I think we should go out to dinner. A proper dinner.” Maybe that alone would have been enough. Right? He’d understand what she meant. Of course. But true to herself, things were never simple. “Or - something else, if you’d like. It doesn’t have to be dinner. We could go out to see a movie. Maybe not something like this. Something a little ligther. Or skating. We could go to the arcade. Not that you can talk much there. Though I suppose you can’t talk much at a theater either. I don’t know. We can do whatever you like. I just… 

I think we should go on a date. I would like to go on a date with you, Luke. Would you… would you like that?”

[shennigwriites]

[ sms ; to Luke . ] I'll be the first to admit that a good chunk of my personality is composed of every movie I've ever seen and every book I've ever read

[ sms ; to Luke . ] I just choose to ignore what that says about me [ sms ; to Luke . ] Just like... I will admit that it's not so much of a secret, is it? At least not to anyone who knows me

[ sms ; to Luke . ] so, perhaps to most people, it is one.

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: you sound like that other movie we watched a few weeks ago

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: road to el dorado!

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: which part? 😂

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: suree you did. Not because you're a secret romantic who lives for this stuff..

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: you can’t fool me, Lawson. I’m onto you! and your pumpkin patch.

[shennigwriites]

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I appreciate your confidence in me.

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I know. You never fail to show up. It's one of the many things I love about you. I'm compiling a list, and it's getting insanely long.

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] That'd be great! I have so many things to talk to you about. I just got my newsletter about the upcoming shows in the area, and I may need you to talk me out of getting the seasonal subscription because it's a lot of money but it gets me tickets to every show. But can you put a price on art?

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I have a lot of thoughts on it. I'll try and save them for the call.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: If anyone can do it, you can ☺️

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: I think I'm slightly biased about that answer.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: Maybe a 10..

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: 'Boy who cried wolf' only becomes 'boy who cried wolf' if I fail to turn up at your door.. That's not happening ☺️

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: How about.. just, you know, to keep your mind at ease, I come over later like we planned, and in the meantime, I call you on my lunchbreak so that I can hear your voice?

[shennigwriites]

For a moment, everything was still. Everything was quiet. The weight of Lily’s words falling over him, settling inside him. Making his whole body feel.. awake.

Alive.

His breath left him in a soft rush, ghosting her lips that were still so close.

So close.

He held her gaze, looking deeply into her eyes, his own darting between pools of deep brown. Josh tilted his head, his lips somehow coming impossibly closer.. They were parted by hers. Touching. Allowing her to feel as well as hear the effect her words had had on his breathing; it was hitched. Shaky.

His eyes flickered to her lips, and then flitted back again.

He leaned forward and kissed her. Deep and slow and heavy. Josh’s large hands had found her face once more, were cradling her cheeks. They slid back into her hair, fingers seeping into it, bringing her face closer, bringing all of her closer. He nodded his head, out of breath, but agreeing, his nose rubbing against hers, making him smile against her lips.

“Me too,” he breathed, barely able to get the words out before his lips were seeking hers again.. He could barely speak. Couldn’t remember how to use his voice. It was so rough. So quiet. He tried again. “I need you, too. So much…”

The words were soft, whispered huskily to her amidst a gentle tug to her hair that brought her into him, into his lips. He kissed her again slowly, hungrily.. gently sucking on her bottom lip as this kiss broke and turned into another. And another. 

He did it again. Kissed her again. Hungrier. Hotter. Moving, kissing slowly towards and down her neck. He kissed once, twice, getting lower each time, his hands slowly following him. They slid from her hair, glancing down either side of her neck. His kisses made their way along her shoulder, pausing just beside the strap of her bra. He kissed the skin there softly, before starting to move back again, his nose skimming her skin, the length of her jaw, until it nudged against her nose and her cheek, signaling his return.

His hands.. His hands trailed over her shoulders, pushing the material down off them on either side. 

Eyes on her, he waited for her eyes to meet his again before letting his hands slide up her back, inviting her into another deep kiss right as he unclasped her bra. With the material loose and bunched at her chest, he moved his hands over the newly exposed skin of her back. Then dragged them back to her shoulders, until finally letting his fingertips fall along the lengths of her arms to pull the straps down and off of them, leaving both Lily and himself bare-chested. 

Knowing, feeling the warmth radiating off of her skin, Josh pressed closer.

One arm wrapped around Lily’s waist, the other wound low on her back, using the momentum as he lifted her against his body to help wrap her legs around him.

He laid her back on the couch, and Lily’s legs tightened either side of his hips, letting him know she wanted him to stay with her. Like he could bring himself to be anywhere else.. He followed her back, his body moving to cover hers fully, their chests flush together.

Their lips parted at the same time against each other’s, their heated kisses pausing as both relished in the feel of each other’s skin, the softness of Lily’s breasts pressed against the hard planes of Josh’s chest.

“Lils,” he breathed, kissing her plump lips once, twice.. He shifted slowly on top of her, using his knee to part her legs slightly further for him as his kisses started to move away from her lips. They brushed past her chin, one kiss, two.. and his hips pressed down into hers.. He left a trail of kisses down her throat, her collarbones at either side..

Josh’s hands followed either side of Lily’s neck, his digits pressing into, teasing, almost massaging at her shoulders.. sweeping down the lengths of her arms.

As his lips made it to her chest, Josh’s gaze flicked to her face again, watching her with hazy eyes. Her eyes were alight with the same need Josh himself felt. They were dark, sparkling, full of warmth.

He couldn’t stay here, not yet.. Not when she was looking down at him with so much devotion in her eyes.. He returned to her lips in a heady rush, stealing a hungry kiss from them, tracing up the centre with the tip of his tongue to part them further for him as he settled his hips with hers, letting her feel just how much his words were true..

With a hum against her lips, Josh’s arms extended, dragging Lily’s up with him to hold them above her head..

[shennigwriites]

[ sms ; to Luke . ] I like both. both sounds good.

[ sms ; to Luke . ] That's a great movie. I always found his schedule to be very relatable.

[ sms ; to Luke . ] I was flipping through channels and a really cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie is on so naturally, I had to give it a go.

[ sms ; to Luke . ] Big city girl trying to save a small town pumpkin patch. I feel comfortable.

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: can it be both? 😄

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: what if… we just.. don’t? and then you don’t have to feel bad 🤷🏽‍♂️

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: good. no goodnight works for me

[ sms ; to Claire 📚 ]: my mom fell asleep watching the grinch. what are you reading tonight?? or is it movies tonight?

[shennigwriites]

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I like this grinception train that I've started.

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] Maybe next time I'll get a laugh out of the both of you, really up my game.

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] Me either. Scale of 1 to 10, how bad would it be if I called in with a fake emergency so you had to come here?

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] It's a 10, because then if something actually did happen and you weren't available, I'd feel terrible. Also it would become a whole 'boy who cried wolf thing' and that would get very messy very fast.

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] See, I'm just not as good when you're not around. Definitely irrational.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: that’s the best thing I’ve heard all day.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: I love you. So much.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: it’s weird you’d say that, because Darren is currently grinning at me grinning at my phone reading that you’re grinning at your phone.

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: funny how that works, huh?

[ sms ; to Lils 💛🌞 ]: I would really love that. I can’t wait to get out of here and see you later.

[shennigwriites]

[ 📲 sms: ] i'm smiling just thinking about getting to see you later. -- josh & lily

[ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I love you so much [ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I just wanted you to know that. That you make me stupidly happy, grinning at my phone from just one message [ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] I can't wait to see you. Will you stay the night? [ sms ; to Josh 😍. ] Let me rephrase that: please stay the night.

[shennigwriites]

[ 📲 sms: ] i could talk to you all night. -- luke & clairebear

[ sms ; to Luke . ] Is that a challenge, or a promise? [ sms ; to Luke . ] I'd hate to keep you up all night. I don't want you to be tired all day tomorrow [ sms ; to Luke . ] On the other hand, I don't want to say goodnight to you [ sms ; to Luke . ] In all honesty, you've become my favourite person to talk to.

[shennigwriites]

“ everyone is downstairs… ~ take your pants off ” -- beth & skye

Skye smoothed her hand over her hairs for what felt like the hundredth time, knowing that at this point, her sweaty palms were doing more harm than anything. Grabbing onto her wine glass, she took a big swig, trying to drown the butterflies in her stomach.

It was silly. All of this, all these nerves, it was silly – but it also wasn’t at all. It was actually very quite important to her, meeting Beth’s friends.

There was a handful she already knew, the core group (in her mind, at least) – the ones connected to her brothers and everyone in their life. But there were other ones, ones she had yet to get to know, and the idea of anyone disapproving of her presence in Beth’s life basically set her nerves on fire.

She was still getting used to feeling this way about someone.

Giving her outfit another look in the mirror – simple black jeans that hugged her in all her best places with a silk top, the sight of Beth in the background immediately had her turning around.

“Are they here? Do I look okay?”

Under any other circumstance, Skye would have immediately recognized the look on her girlfriends face – it was one she had seen many times by now – but her head was cloudy, her confidence wavered, and everything seemed to exist in some other alternate dimension.

“Everyone is downstairs… - take your pants off.”

“…I’m sorry?”

Blinking, the words sinking in, the corners of her lips turning up into a smile. That could have been taken another way – take those off, I hate it – but the look in Beth’s eyes had finally caught on. “I take it that’s a yes, then?”

A few small steps to reach out, grabbing onto both her hands, pulling her back towards the direction of their bed. “I mean, your wish is absolutely my command – but just know that we don’t have enough time for me to fully appreciate you and that later, when we’re alone again, I will be taking the pants off again.”

[shennigwriites]

“ i love you , i’m sorry , i’m sorry , i love you . ” -- grace & noah

“You can do this. Trust me. A light little run, a slight jump into my arms, and then I’ll do all the work. I got you. We got this.”

A grin on his face, Noah did his best to keep his tone light and his body language encouraging. It was a fun idea – albeit one slightly fueled by a few drinks they’d had earlier – but a fun one none the less. Plus, tons of people did it. It was the famous dirty dancing move, it was iconic.

And if Grace wanted to try it, he would do it. He would do anything she asked of him.

Arms out in front of him, palms facing up, he curled his fingers in twice quickly, a ‘come here’ gesture. A grin, words, gestures – anything to help her.

“Okay. Okay! Here I come!”

Doing little taps against the ground with her feet, Noah felt as if his heart physically swelled at the sight. He was reminded of the grinch in that moment – his heart grew three sizes – and made a mental note to watch that with Grace when they had their Christmas decorations up.

Another idea for another night.

A quick jog over, Noah braced his hands on Grace’s hip, moving to lift her up off the ground with the intention of spinning her around –

Only Grace kicked her legs out of excitement, a little too early, causing her foot to come right into contact with his groin before he was able to get her up into the air.

A loud “oof” slipping out, his hands leaving her hips as he fell to the ground.

“Oh – oh no-“

Next thing he knew Grace was hovering over him, knees on the ground, concern on her face. “I love you, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you-“

“It’s fine. It’s fine.” A deep breath to help his stomach settle, Noah looked up at her, at the concern on his face, and he couldn’t help it.

He laughed.

He laughed, and laughed, and pulled her down to lay beside him. “Just next time, if I did something wrong, tell me before we resort to the physical violence. I’d like to have kids some day, you know.”

[shennigwriites]

“ i’d run away with you . ” -- riley & mads

Hands on her chest, eyes fixated on the ceiling, Maddy laid in the middle of their living room floor with Riley beside her. She had lost track of how long they’d been there, and had no intention of moving anytime soon.

It was all so much. The guest list, the invitations, the dress, open bar or not, getting a date that worked for everyone, and people had so many expectations. Quite frankly, that was a right piss-off if you asked her. What right did other people have enacting their expectations for their day on them?

“If one more person tells me what our menu should be like, I may scream. I will scream. I’ll scream, and run off into the woods and never speak to them again. I’ll just… run away.”

It should be fun. Planning a wedding, her wedding to Riley, should be the best time of her life. Well, second to the actual proposal. All the stress, the little details, it was taking away from it. She was… tired. Just tired.

Feeling a hand on hers, Riley gently intertwined their fingers together as she moved her hand to be between them, allowing for a more comfortable angle.

That helped. Just the reminder that he was here, that they were in it together – that helped.

“I’d run away with you.”

That helped even more. Head tilting to the side to face him, Maddy immediately smiled at the sight though the words alone were enough to elicit such a response. “I know you would.”

And then –

An idea.

Separating their hands so she could prop herself up on one elbow, now looking down at his face.

“What if we did that? What if we just… ran away? Not permanently, of course. But to the beach. You and me and an officiate and what if we just… get married. The two of us. The way we want it to. Then we can still do the reception and even a ceremony to have something with everyone else but… I mean, screw it. Screw what everyone wants. This is our wedding. So let’s get married and then throw a party, and it won’t be as stressful.

[shennigwriites]

“is there someone else?” -- luther and allison

Allison alternated between feeling as if she were the human embodiment of two different things – a yo-yo and a broken CD.

Emotionally, it was draining constantly going back and forth. She loved Luther, she had for so long now and didn’t know how to not be with him. But then the hurt that she felt would kick in, and she’d bolt. But then the pain of missing him would kick in – a ping pong would also be an adequate object.

A broken CD. Repeating the same thing over and over again. I love you. I’m angry at you. I don’t know how to forgive you. I want to forgive you. It wasn’t fair on either of them, being stuck in this cycle, she knew that. She just didn’t know how to break it.

A lump in her throat, a cup of coffee in front of her that was too hot to drink, hands clasped around the side regardless, needing the warmth. “Is there someone else?”

She almost wished there was. She almost wished someone else had come along, that it was that easy, a clean break – a reason for her to be trying to end this. Again. A different reason.

God, what she wouldn’t do to have a different reason.

Yet that thought, the idea of someone else near her, someone else even grasping her attention long enough to be considered in such a way, it was enough to make the corners of her eyes feel moist.

“Luther… there’s never been anyone else.” No matter how much she wished for it to be so. Deep down, a part of her knew that this was it for her. Which made it worse in ways – what if he hadn’t come home? What if he’d just left her with this permanent gaping hole in her heart that no one else could fill?

“I just don’t know how to keep doing this. I can’t. I can’t keep doing this to myself, or to you. It’s not fair for either of us.” It was both as simple and as complicated as that. “I love you. You know that. But I don’t know how to make that.. enough anymore.”

A sigh, shoulders sagging, posture be damned. “… I just don’t know what to do, Luther. I really don’t.”

[shennigwriites]

“ he/she can’t make you feel the way i make you feel ” -- sunny & naomi

Back pressed against the wall, Naomi took on a stance that was all too familiar – not just to her, but to essentially everyone that knew her. Rigid shoulders, one eyebrow raised, mouth in as straight of a line as it could be. I don’t give a fuck. The energy she purposely radiated 95% of the time to the world around her.

Unfortunately, the more time that passed, the better Sunny was getting at seeing through it.

“I’ll go back inside right now, and you can’t stop me. I’ll damn well dance with him if I want to, and you can continue to be eye fucked by every other woman in that god damn place.”

She didn’t want to. Quite frankly, there was nothing she wanted to do less than go inside and pretend to be interested in some random person – but that wasn’t the point. The point was his one hand pressed against the wall as he leaned over, looking down on her. Just her.

“Stop playing games, Nai. He can’t make you feel the way I make you feel.”

A defiant slight raise of the chin – “and what way is that?”

It was foolish to ask; Naomi wasn’t one to ever give up the upper hand, and she should have known that raising such a challenge would do just that. Sunny was the only who ever could go toe to toe with her and come out smiling on the other side.

She hated him for that. Almost as much as she loved it – not that he needed to know.

Free hand on her hip, trailing down, over, her breath caught in her throat, his hands just hovering right at her zipper. Head lowered, lips just ghosting her neck, the breath causing tingles everywhere. “You know, Parks.”

Heart rate picking up slightly, she mentally cursed herself, at the fact that just the idea of what he was referring to having an effect on her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

An attempt was made to keep her voice steady, to appear as if none of this fazed her – an attempt ­– admittedly, not a strong one.

It was, in all honesty, a weak effort at best.

[shennigwriites]

pwesleywrites​:

They must have heard two different things. Because when she spoke, she felt like she couldn’t get her words out properly. Or like there were huge gaps or hesitations. Or that she just stuttered her way through it all.

It was out though. She’d managed eventually. Even with that weight in her chest feeling like it was making her shrivel up and curl in on herself.

She’d never intentionally lied to Noah. She never would. But keeping quiet all those years ago meant that there was more to say now. No, she’d never intentionally lied, and he had never intentionally hurt her.

None of this was his fault.

He was good, and kind, and wonderful. And that’s the way it has always been. He was patient. Sweet. Understanding. Brave. 

And a thousand other things. So many of which, Grace could only hope to be.

The fringe. Her emo phase. Oh, God. She groaned at that and brought her hands up even further to cover her face, still able to see through the gaps in her fingers. She bit her lip as a smile started to pull up at the corners, making her smile unevenly at him. Because of him. “Ewww,” She squeezed her eyes shut, making a face at the memory, but laughing. Giggling. Her feet pressed into his legs again and one of her hands fell from her face, moving instead to gently push at Noah’s chest.

He was smiling, she could hear it in his voice. She smiled, too, and left her hand where it was, fingers curled in on themselves, but her hand still very much touching him.

With that, the mood changed again, but it was less laced with sadness now. More serious, but no longer entirely painful. She nodded her head at his words, accepting them, while her thumb toyed with the collar of his sweater, her eyes on her hand. He was right. There wasn’t anything he could do. There wasn’t anything anyone could do. You couldn’t change the past. Grace knew that pretty well by now. They both did. She listened quietly, taking in everything that Noah said to her, as she always did, her teeth still working her bottom lip.

Maybe it was okay that you couldn’t change the past. Would she really give up loving him in secret all this time? Even if it saved her pain? No.

Hearing her name made her pause. Made her look up.

Finally, her eyes found their way back to him, the sincerity she could hear in his voice matching the way his eyes looked. She just had to see it. Had to see him. He was still looking at her. Looking for her, since she’d looked away. She swallowed quietly as she found his lips again, then nodded.

Curling her toes inside her socks, she pressed gently on Noah’s legs. That want to be closer and touching him was filling her again. Her thumb lifted slightly, lightly brushing Noah’s throat, his scruff tickling the pad of her thumb making her nose crinkle at the feeling.

“I am happy.” she said softly. “Happier.”

It was the truth. She was happier now with him back in her life. She’d been slowly healing even before then. Him being here just added to that. It made it more. Even if she’d have to love him quietly again while she remained his friend. It would’ve still been better. So this? Laying next to him in bed, talking about kissing him, openly admitting that she wanted to kiss him, despite the pain that went along with feeling that, hearing that she could do anything she wanted with him?

That was something else entirely.

She looked to his lips as she’d said it. His lips were easier than his eyes right now. “I’ve never been as brave as you,” she admitted, voice full of admiration, of wonder. “but I want to be.”

“I guess I just.. don’t quite know how to do that.”

But she could start with looking in his eyes properly, right?

Grace did, and she felt the air leave her in a rush as she let out the breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding. God, his eyes were beautiful. She hated denying herself looking in them for fear of what she’d see there. Or more so; what he’d see in hers.

She looked at him, looked into his eyes, much as she’d done before; her gaze flitting between each of them as she spoke.

“What would you do?”

Noah wasn’t used to this – to any of this.

He had always been a relatively open person. Granted, he was a teenage boy at one point, so cut him a bit of slack – but he tried. He was raised well (just ask his parents, they’ll give an entirely unbiased opinion). He would never speak with the intention of hurting anyone, and he knew the damage he could do to hold things in.

Yet that had been his reality for the last couple of years.

Would Madeline ever lay by his side and be brutally honest? Would she lay out her thoughts, her feelings, everything bare, for him to hear? No. Had he ever done the same with her? No. On some level, they both knew that was Pandora’s Box and the second it was open, what they had built together would completely crumble apart.

It had always been inevitable, but they had put it off. There were so many things unsaid, untouched, in their relationship. Grace – it caught him off guard. To see someone visibly struggle in front of him and yet fight through it anyways, to look up at him with that raw honesty. He admired her so much for it. He knew it didn’t come easily.

“Good. And you may think I’m brave now but wait until you see me watch the conjuring. I’m telling you, you’ll barely see my face because my hands covering it most of the time.”

He loved horror movies, really. They just didn’t love him back.

“I don’t…want to tell you what to do. That’s your decision.” And whatever decision she made, he would easily accept – but he could still try and make this.. a little easier on her perhaps. Which was why he was suddenly smiling, albeit a little goofily. His index finger raised, a gentle and quick bop to her nose. “I know how to help, though.”

Quickly, so as to not avoid sinking back down into his former position (which he very much wanted to do), Noah stood up by the edge of the bed. “It’s unfair. You’re in the vulnerable position here. Cards on the table, and all I do is lay there and say you can kiss me. I have it easy. So let’s level it out a bit.”

Had he had worse ideas? Absolutely. Had he had better ideas? Oh, undeniably. But with Noah – once something was in his brain, it had to be carried out. In that moment, it made complete sense to him.

Which was how he found himself quickly peeling off his shirt, no hesitancy to be seen or felt. Perhaps the slightest bit as his fingers found the edge of his sweatpants, but not enough to stop him. No, Noah fully pulled them down, gently kicking them off to the side. One arm on each hip, his arms making a triangular shape. Jesus Noah, no, don’t stand like superman –

His arms now fell to the side as she grinned down at Grace, in front of her wearing nothing but a pair of boxers. “There. See? Now I’m vulnerable too.”

Reality hitting him as – jesus Noah, your solution was to undress in front of her? – he looked down quickly at himself before back up, eyes now a bit wider.

“…..Does this help?”

[shennigwriites]

❛ the first time i met you , i had no damn idea i’d love you this much . ❜ em and will!

Emilia laughed as she felt herself spinning through the air, thighs gripping Will with her legs wrapped around him until it came to an end and her feet found their way back onto the ground. “I’m so proud of you.”

Will have just finished his race earlier, the one where it was officially determined that he qualified for the Olympics – again – and it had taken every ounce of self-restraint to not run at him right then and there. She had wanted him to have his moment, to bask in that accomplishment and just feel it. Now, however, they were alone and she was all but buzzing with excitement for him.

There had never been any doubts, not on her end, but to see it actually come true was still… it was really something else.

“I’m going to take you out to dinner. Tonight. Or whenever works for you – but I’m going to take you out. Somewhere nice, so that I can wear that little black dress you like. And if anyone asks why we’re out, I get to say it’s because my amazingly talented boyfriend is going to the Olympics. Again. Then maybe I’ll go get a billboard or a TV commercial or just start randomly yelling it in the street-“

Emilia wasn’t really one to go off on tangents, she generally thought things through before speaking, but in this moment her words seemed to get away from her – until she saw the look on her face. “What?”

“Nothing, I just… You know, the first time I met you, I had no idea I’d love you this much.”

Her smile somehow growing in size (her facial muscles would certainly feel sore later on), Emilia’s head ducked down for a moment before raising back up to meet his eyes. “Really? I so thought that was how I got the job. I knew I should have worn heels.”

His arms now around her waist, Emilia’s went around his neck, almost as if on instinct. They’d been there so many times before. “Me either, though. Or… I don’t know, maybe I did on some level. And that’s why it took me awhile, because of….you know, my parents.” Her father’s betrayal, her mother falling apart, everything being different. “But we’re here now. And at some point, I’m going to get us a weekend somewhere. One dinner isn’t enough.”

[shennigwriites]

“Everything about you is so easy to love.” claire and luke!

“No it’s not.” Her voice, despite being soft, held every ounce of conviction behind the statement that she could muster. Luke had good intentions, Claire knew that. She knew that he always had good intentions. And maybe he believed that what he was saying was true – that she was easy to love – but she wasn’t. She knew that better than anyone; she was the one who had to live with herself 24/7.

This night was supposed to be better. She was supposed to be better. She was supposed to finally allow herself to just be with him, to let down that final barrier, but she couldn’t. Again. She had stopped him, again, just as soon as half of their clothes were off.

Now here they were, again, sitting up in her bedroom as she fought off the tears that were fighting so vehemently to gather in her eyes.

“I am not easy to love, Luke. None of me is and I have no idea how you do it. It’s not fair. None of it is fair to you.”

A deep breath, one that quivered quite a bit, as she raised the pads of her palms to her eyes. At this point she was just hoping to push the moisture back in, but she knew that was a battle she had no hope in winning.

“I was a complete mess when we met and you had to deal with all of that. You had to pick up the pieces of something that you didn’t break and you deserve so much more than that. I’m so sorry Luke, I’m sorry – I just feel like this weight, this guilt, is constantly sitting on my chest and I can’t make it go away.”

She had, officially, lost the battle. Her hands were back down at her sides, and tears were starting to roll down her cheeks. She no longer had it in her to stop them.

Claire forced her head to turn, to look at him – to look at the face that she loved so much, so much more than she had ever loved Dave’s. That was probably the most terrifying part of it all. Dave had all of her and that left her in the worst state she had ever been in. What would become of her if Luke left too?

He wouldn’t. She knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t. That he loved her, too – genuinely loved her. Not the way that Dave had. Yet she still kept pulling back, and she couldn’t help but wonder if her constant fear, if her constant guilt, would be the thing that finally broke them. She just didn’t know how to let go of all of it. She didn’t know how to be the version of herself that he deserved.

[shennigwriites]

pwesleywrites​:

Nate had been happy for a few moments, seeing that he’d made her laugh. He smiled a wide, almost goofy smile, pleased with himself, and squeezed her hand. 

Then, Lexie’s laughter died away. Like someone had pulled a plug on the happiness, and his smile faded. 

He didn’t understand what was happening, what he’d said. 

What? She thought he viewed her as an experiment?? When had he said that? He didn’t remember saying that. 

No, he definitely hadn’t said that. 

He frowned at her.

“No.” he said, confused, but as always, truthful. “I don’t understand what just happened.”

It took him a moment to collect his thoughts. 

“I look at you because I want to understand you better, yes. Not in the way you look at an experiment. Or in the way you want to solve it. I want to understand you better so that I can.. avoid this. I listen to you because I like hearing what you’ve got to say. Whatever you’ve got to say, whether it makes sense to me, or not.”

He gestured with the hand that had been touching hers. He didn’t understand, but he could see in her eyes that something was wrong. He saw it almost immediately. He didn’t understand what had happened right away, but he did see a difference in her eyes. And he knew. That he’d said something wrong. The way her eyes looked made him nervous, and not in the good way that she made him feel nervous.

Nate retrieved his hand, scratching the side of his head.

“Is that not what people do when they like each other? Try to understand each other? Want to understand each other? So they can avoid things like this? Like hurting the other person, or — or making them feel bad? So they know when they’re having a bad day. Or a good day. And share in it? Make them feel better? If they can.”

“I have to work harder at it. Even when I think I’m getting it.. Something happens and I see how wrong I was for thinking that. Like now.”

He gestured again, his eyes narrowing as he continued to frown in thought.

“I don’t understand you. Not every part of you. Not the way I want to. I don’t know if I ever will. But I do want to. It’s not something I can say I’ve wanted to do before. If an ex girlfriend or date asked me that, I would just say, I have just simply said ‘yes, I undoubtedly will get bored of you eventually, or you will get bored of me.’ Without even realising. Without registering anything was wrong with that. It was the truth. I didn’t understand it. I still don’t, other than to probably not say that specifically.”

“I hate that it’s so easy for me to say something that knocks everything out of balance. I hate that it’s so easy for me to say something that hurts you or.. or I don’t know what it is you feel right now?”

He looked at her, trying to choose his words.

“I don’t think you can entirely understand a person. Because they don’t make sense. This doesn’t make sense. I mean – not us. We make sense. You make sense to me. This. And at the same time, it doesn’t. Which I don’t understand either, because I don’t understand how it can be both. What I mean is..”

He knew he was rambling again now.

Frustrated at himself, he said finally, “I would like to understand you better, yes. So that I can love you better.” 

The vanishing smile always made Alexis feel bad – she had, quite literally, taken away his happiness. It wasn’t often, but it happened in these times; when there was a misunderstanding, or when something that he said didn’t land the way he assumed it would. Whenever she wasn’t happy.

When she had a moment to look back at this later on with a clear head, she’d understand. That was love. Her happiness was Nate’s happiness. How unbelievably pure that was.

In this moment, though; where he was trying to convey his thoughts, when he pulled his hand away… it didn’t land right now. All she could focus on was how it felt like a string that was wrapped around her heart was tied around his finger and when he pulled his hand away, he tugged.

She wanted it back.

Even when she was nervous, when she thought that maybe this was when it call came crumbling down, she wanted his hand back. They’d come too far for this. Fuck.

They’d come too far for this.

For her to be acting like that. To upset him because of her insecurities, her self-doubt. It felt like she was back in the moment that was seared into her brain, when she was frustrated with him and he said he loved her for the first time. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to go backwards with Nate.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.” She hated that she had something to apologize to him for.

“I just… I misunderstood. I was in my own head about my own doubts, and I assumed what your words meant instead of actually listening to you.” It wasn’t fair. She knew that. Alexis got into her head and in return, she had upset him; and hearing all those doubts from him just upset her. Vicious cycle.

Moving her chair back enough to allow her to get up, Alexis took a few steps over to where Nate was, lowering herself down. Not straddling him per say, with both legs swung over to one side of him, but both arms raised just enough. Enough for her hands to rest on his cheeks, thumbs moving in a gentle stroking motion.

“You do share in it. You make me feel better, and you are getting it. I’m so sorry for making you think that you’re not.” He was so wonderful, so thoughtful -  “Sometimes I forget how different out interpretations can be, but Nate…”

Her head moved forward now, forehead gently resting against his.

“I love the way you love me.”