sherlocklaufeyson

[sherlocklaufeyson]

dating a princessgirl is great until she exercises unilateral authority to keep snuggling you instead of letting you get up

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My friend: The weather is a bit cooler today

Me (on antidepressants, sweating buckets and now know what hell feels like): is it?

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We hired this Espurr to wave to you (please wave back)

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Of course I can do it alone. I always do.

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found a rock in the kitchen and as I was about to throw it in the trash I thought "wait this is cruel I should let it outside" as if it was a living thing

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“Don’t take it personally” How would you like me to take it then? Professionally? Romantically? Academically?

[sherlocklaufeyson]

i hate when you wake up early by accident and then don’t go back to sleep right away & your body is like “oh we’re up? time to get up?” and then you get hungry. like bro no way dude turn that back off. i’m not up yet

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“the heart wants what it wants”? okay well the heart is fucking stupid can we let someone else have a turn? maybe the spleen wants to have a go?

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Having "a lot" of followers on tumblr is funny because probably 80% of them are ghost blogs who haven't been on here in like a decade.

It's like, no no, those aren't my followers, that's a graveyard! I'm the caretaker of a thousands of tombs. I love them, but they've been dead for seven years.

[sherlocklaufeyson]

Fake laughed at a customer's joke today and dropped the smile within milliseconds of them turning around. when I tell you that I felt like Patrick fucking Bateman

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I think the key to a happy life as an adult woman is to channel your inner weird little girl and make her happy

[sherlocklaufeyson]

[sherlocklaufeyson]

it actually completely unironically pisses me off that there was times when i wasn't alive and there will be times when i'm not alive. i should have been there for everything