shieldeus

[shieldeus]

the vanished birds, pt. 2.

dialogue prompts from the vanished birds by simon jiminez.

if i was brave, i’d trust you.

you’ve never let me forget it, not once.

you love to leave.

don’t you dare talk to me about abandonment.

i wonder where my self-preservation fled to.

not for a very long time.

when did you become so cruel?

the company was nice, is all.

if it was good, then why did you leave?

it’s a lonely feeling, isn’t it?

please drink as much as you’d like.

are you from here, originally?

the ear hears, but the heart listens.

take my day, but give me the night.

not everyone can be saved. some people just die.

my comfort is not your responsibility.

the only one you have to take care of is you.

i would do it all again, if i could.

i’m far away. i don’t know how to get back.

i knew something wasn’t right. i felt it.

no one visits the same place twice without an intention.

my arms were not meant to hold soft things.

that was an order, not a suggestion.

what do you do for fun?

some memories aren’t worth keeping.

not everyone gets to leave.

‘what if’ is all we’ve got.

i love you. do you hear me?

i don’t care what you are. i will always love you.

you think sweet lines like that are going to make me forget everything?

i know it’s scary, being at the end.

i’ve had a surprisingly beautiful time with you.

every prayer is for you, has always been for you.

i have to ask.

i can’t believe you’re alive.

this is all a bit much for me.

you tried. that’s enough for anyone to be proud of.

don’t talk. save your energy.

[shieldeus]

interview with a vampire, anne rice.

[shieldeus]

sometimes i am simply overwhelmed by the urge to write cas being a little bad, in a michael-stomping-satan kind of way

[shieldeus]

I fucked with forces that our eyes can’t see now the darkness got a hold on me… there ain’t language for the things I’ve seen and the truth is stranger than my own worst dreams oh, the darkness got a hold on me

[shieldeus]

Jonathan Rhys Meyers as Alexander Grayson | Dracula, 1x02 — A Whiff of Sulfur

[shieldeus]

castiel kept jimmy novak’s bifold leather wallet with his documents, a few dollars and a photograph of jimmy’s daughter claire in a pocket of his coat, and carries it with him well after his vessel’s death. it doesn’t just feel partly wrong to throw away jimmy’s last belongings, but it also comes useful to cas at times. whenever he needs a fake id, he uses jimmy’s name and documents. this might arouse some questions, though, as jimmy is formally a missing person involved in a strange case of multiple homicide.

[shieldeus]

[shieldeus]

“…I see more than this, More than I can tell you, more than there are words for.”

— T.S. Eliot, The Complete Poems & Plays (via ilpleutsurmoncoeur)

[shieldeus]

#like cas is considered one of the finest soul/mind readers in heaven #which in itself is torture. at least on a human #he IS in fact a skilled torturer #so yeah while cas remains a hero the narrative doesnt fail to remind us that #he's not spotless #he has a no-harm policy when it comes to humans specifically but even then #there have been times where he broke it.

something i love about castiel that i feel is not nearly as explored as it should be is that, while being fundamentally good, there is still a grey area to his character that i would really like to bring up in threads. even in his forced exile, cas is still a soldier with a rooted end often justifies the mean mindset - and he displays, more often than not, a ruthless and judgmental behavior.

[shieldeus]

[shieldeus]

moltolavoro​.

absurdly, it’s the first thing that’s made sam smile all day. perhaps it’s the blatant way castiel says it. as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. it’s almost endearing, if sam thinks about it. it’s also – sweet. not in a way he thinks castiel is engaging with intentionally, it just…is. 

still, it takes him a moment to find the words to answer, and when he does, he’s not sure it’s the right one. it’s the only one he’s got, though. ❛ that’s not your job, cas. ❜ it’s soft, and gentle, and sam’s fingers curl on the linoleum motel table. there’s bandages around both of them, covering cut palms and bruised knuckles, pricked fingertips. all the blood shed lately seems to be his. ❛ but if you could…stay? if you could be here…that would be just as good, i think. ❜

 sam is right, it’s not his job. in a way, though, he’s also incredibly wrong. castiel tilts his head, the unearthly blue of what were once jimmy novak’s eyes softly glowing in the buzzing light. he considers touching sam, just lightly enough; a sweep of his fingers on his forehead, to make every wound disappear. not the blood crusted under his fingernails, no, the blood would stay. eventually, he decides against it.  that’s not your job, cas.   “i could.”  he rasps, with a solemnity that strikes unsuited to the motel room in which he found sam.  he’s seen worse though, didn’t he? they both had. 

 “i thought you had stopped hunting.”   castiel adds, a glance at sam’s hands. any trace of concern is swept under the plain flatness of his tone and the neutrality of his face.  “dean thought so too. it’s dangerous to go alone.”  

[shieldeus]

#if its a place symbolically designed as a 'house of god' #castiel will kneel and pay his respect

cas will kneel upon entering a place or worship, even if he doesn't have to

[shieldeus]

   S8 SCRIPT, ‘HUNTERI HEROICI’ / DARK (NETFLIX) / PHOEBE BRIDGERS, ‘J28′ 

[shieldeus]

I've admired your portrayal of Cas for honestly the LONGEST time and it always makes me happy that you've made that portrayal your own and that you're still going strong <3

crying manly tears over the absolutely sweetest message i ever got 🥺 thank you so much wtf !!!!! i'm so incredibly humbled that my interpretation of cas got so much traction and positive feedback over the years (years!) that i've been writing him because. i can't possibly begin to articulate what he means to me as a character and a creative outlet. thank you so so so much ❤️

[shieldeus]

Your voice is more moving than the thunder, your eyes more overwhelming than lightning.

Leonora Carrington, The Complete Stories of Leonora Carrington; from 'The Sisters', tr. Kathrine Talbot

[shieldeus]

cas being 'the shield of god' means that he will take all the blame, always.

[shieldeus]

'Storm Clouds, Monument Valley'. Lynn Radeka. 2015.