shimmeringathering

[shimmeringathering]

Maybe. INFJs are hard to explain because Ni is hard to explain, but this should suffice as a comprehensive checklist.

INFP: “Follow your heart” INFJ: “Follow your intuition”

INFP: Inner world of personal values. Introspective with regards to their feelings. INFJ: Inner world of personal hunches. Introspective with regards to their intuition.

INFP: Puts themselves in other people’s shoes to empathize. INFJ: Tries to empathize with others based on an objective understanding of human emotion.

INFP: Personal ethics. A subjective moral compass. Doesn’t really care if you agree. INFJ: Objective ethics. An external source of morality to follow (religion, interpersonal ethics, law, other people, etc.) Cares if you agree (either to coerce you onto their side, switch to your side, or find some middle ground).

INFP: “The world is full of possibilities. The world is an inspiration to my imagination.” INFJ: “The mind contains possibilities. The world is a distraction from my intuitive introspection.”

INFP: Explores new directions and info in an open-minded way to observe new possibilities. INFJ: Sticks only to the info that pertains directly to the hunch that’s caught in their mind’s eye and that they’re struggling to bring to fruition.

INFP: How does the world seem to fit in with my sentimental ideals? INFJ: How does the world seem to fit in with my dispassionate ideas, principles, and systematic models?

INFP: “That’s just the way I feel about it.” INFJ: “That’s just the way I think about it.”

INFP: Retains past experiences and reliable knowledge to recall and apply later. Reminiscent and nostalgic. INFJ: Retains tentative hunches and intuitions to see how they will evolve inside the psyche into something greater, (though still tentative.) Visionary and prospective.

INFP: Deep wisdom through knowledge and experience. INFJ: Deep perspective through intuitive contemplation.

INFP: Recoils from impartiality (or apathy) and from having their opinion influenced by external coercion, to the point where actually doing so is uncomfortable. So they tend to maintain their own sentimental opinion in the face of unpleasant evidence to the contrary, and react harshly to valid criticism. INFJ: Recoils from face-value details and facts, and from observing new information that doesn’t pertain directly to what they’re focusing on, to the point where actually doing so is uncomfortable. So they tend to be oblivious to important details and real-world responsibilities/occurrences outside their area of focus, even if those occurrences are important. They usually freeze up at times where they need to improvise or adapt to changing circumstances. Sometimes trust their gut over the actual observations, even if their gut is wrong.

INFP: Sometimes snaps and becomes overly callous, passive-aggressive, or even combative, or else retains a non-judgmental, non-assertive demeanor. INFJ: Tends to overindulge in sensory gratification or ascetically neglect it.

Edit for additional basic nuances. Some of these may just be confusing, in which case I suggest just sticking to the above differences.

INFP: More interested in sentimental judgments than in the perception of possibilities. Focusing on what’s sentimentally important is a priority over reading between the lines and peering behind the scenes. INFJ: More interested in the perception of possibilities than in sentimental judgments. Reading between the lines and peering behind the scenes is a priority over focusing on what’s sentimentally important.

INFP: More interested in absorbing certain and reliable facts than in forming dispassionate conclusions or dispassionate ideas. Being informed of the certain and obvious facts is more important than being dispassionate in analysis. INFJ: More interested in forming dispassionate conclusions or dispassionate ideas than in absorbing certain and reliable facts. Being dispassionate in analysis is more important than being informed of the certain and obvious facts.

INFP: Uses the outer world as more of a source of raw information to absorb than as a guide, standard, or criteria for decision making. INFJ: Uses the outer world as more of a guide, standard, or criteria for decision making than as a source of raw information to absorb.

INFP: Uses inner impressions as more of a guide for decision making than as a source of raw information. INFJ: Uses inner impressions as more of a source of raw information than as a guide for decision making.

[shimmeringathering]

‘Technically’ speaking there are a lot of differences in the dominant functions (i/e) between them but you already got a lot of answers on that. So I’ll answer what I know from the practical side:

I am an INFJ female and I’ve been dating an INFP male (this sounds like mammals but ok). We have a lot in common: we are both very kind and want others to feel good. However we discovered that he wants others to feel good so he doesn’t feel bad whereas I want others to feel good because it makes me happy (there is a difference there). He feels guilty a lot when something he says or thinks hurts someone eventhough it could be something he stands behind. I only feel guilty if I could’ve said or done something better and already knew in the moment I was doing it but weren’t able to adjust myself. He sees the positive in things, I tend to be afraid of the negatives. I am more serious, he is more playfull. I stick to my beliefs he sticks to his routines. I generally talk less, he talks for both of us. He can say something one moment and think about it differently the next. I only speak about what I think when I’m 100% sure about it. He’ll change his mind in hours, I never change my mind. We are both stubborn as HELL. He gets really mad sometimes but gets over it quick, I get passive agressive and remain so for days. After a fight he wants to cuddle, I want space. He knows exactly what he is feeling and why. It takes me a lot of alone time and sometimes weeks to know what I’m feeling and why and what I should do about it. Once I know however I can easily talk about my feelings, he findes it difficult to talk about them. I plan EVERYTHING, he loves options. We both generally don’t like socializing but he can enjoy parties once in a while whilst I can enjoy being in crowdes places (but being left alone). He hates spending money, I can spent a lot when I think something is worth it. We have creative fights a lot (we both work overlapping creative jobs), he thinks I don’t trust his professionality and I think he doesn’t understand what I am visualizing. When we talk I’m more into pinpointing it down and drawing conclusions, he will explore different sides to a topic. We both love people most of the time. When we hate them it’s because (I) lost trust in them and (he) got hurt by them. We both feel really misunderstood, I want to be understood and understand how the world functions with me in it, he enjoys being a special little snowflake. We both have a cognitive paralel world we live in. He travels there in his dreams (probably the reason he hates to wake up in the morning and it can take him hours), I live there all the time (probably the reason I jump out of bed in the morning). I love doing new things, he loves doing the things he likes over and over again. We both love animals and cute things. We both cry a lot (I cry a lot for a woman, he cries “a lot” for a man). We both can have random burtst of ideas. He likes to admire them from a distance I’ll say ‘let’s go get there!’. I have very little stuff and am very tidy, he keeps things from years ago and forgets where he put them. When he’s happy he can get very childish, when I am happy I let my funny side out. We both love intelligent humor, we both pick up on things other people miss. We both have a strong sense of what’s right and wrong although he’ll usually commit and I usually just drop people that have values that don’t align with mine. He’s better in seing the overall pictures, I’ll get stuck on details. He is sweet, I am caring. Metaphorically speaking he is probably like a disillusioned honey bee and I’m more like a serious butterfly ;-)

There is probably a lot more, but these are some of the things we come across in our daily lives. Hope this gives you an insight in INFJ/INFP-ness ;-)

https://www.quora.com/Can-you-explain-in-a-simple-way-the-difference-between-INFJ-and-INFP

[shimmeringathering]

[shimmeringathering]

15th December 2019

The unspoken

- it’s only been 2 days. My mind’s restlessness is unfamiliar to me. I’m feeling so alone and uncared for. Even when I know it’s the absolute opposite. I think winter is just in me right now. Is what you doing freedom or just selfish? Are they mutually entangled? I’m not sure how to utter these words to you, I’m not sure if I should. I’m not sure if you should understand the level of attachment I have to someone. I’m not sure you’re ready for it. I’m not sure I’ve accepted it myself.

[shimmeringathering]

I cannot describe what I’ll miss most from here, they are made of tiny things which accumulate to a notion and feeling of home, that embraces my body and my tongue but not my mind and my complexity, torn apart geographically my selves float across the 7 oceans, intangible to many

[shimmeringathering]

who am I without my melancholy, without which feelings, I am not captured in the half ness of my being

[shimmeringathering]

Happy 26th year of life Maya. I really hope 26 comes softly (like a cloud) just as you approach the people in your life. I pray your life is filled with water and content. Thank you for how you are. It’s been the best of times doing everything and nothing with you’s so far And I’m really looking forward to getting to know every other versions of you!! Note: this is the third leaf I am writing on. I lost the first one to wind And the second to water - Ahmed, July 15th, 2.36am

[shimmeringathering]

things to assert : — “your trauma is malaysia” (concerning me, my culture and not your father’s lens) — one to one interactions (concerning ‘our’-ness) — being assertive in the presence of others (especially concerning time) & feeling comfortable doing so (concerning ‘our’-ness) — differences in prioritization/way of life; asserting those differences when conflict arises (concerning ‘our’-ness) — remembering them - a conscious effort to do so (concerning ‘our’-ness) — management of time and scheduling (judgement/concerning him) — how you relate to others and spend time with them (concerning him/just confused about it i guess)

[shimmeringathering]

[shimmeringathering]

why is liking someone so.. consuming? is it a choice to Not Absorb?  how can i not? i am so tired of this feeling. it becomes a compass through which everyday is experienced, even worse, a tangible heavy atmosphere around which one is cocooned in. i just don’t understand the origins of this feeling.

and sometimes i catch myself in this feeling. catch myself smile, or fluttering butterflies in my stomach. and with the tiniest of assumptions, catch myself falter laggingly i don’t like this at all. yet why do i long for it anyway?

[shimmeringathering]

How can I love you this much?
Need you this much? Can I not? The relief of a wasp flying into the room Only to fly straight back out That is how I desire to see The last close call between you and me How can I love you this much?
Need you this much? Can I not? But I still got myself stung But the sting ain’t the thing that hurts Bruised ego and a broken heart I close my eyes and I can hear you laugh How can I love you this much?
Need you this much? Can I not? How can I love you, love you so much? Can I not?
How can I need you, need you this much? Can I not?

[shimmeringathering]

Benji came into my life about a week ago, 17.02.2018 I am very attracted to his energy, curious nature, learning studiously, being an INFJ too, I feel so at home with him. Granted, we only met yesterday, spent 3 hours together, and I was exhausted mentally, not having enough sleep the night before.  I am scared of this feeling, I am scared of how he sees me, I am scared what it will do to my studying, I am scared of this enamoured-ness.  I don’t like the feeling of falling for somebody. People have said, both in mainstream and subcultures, of how ‘magical’ and ‘irreplacable’ this feeling is. But I hate it. I find it suffocating, I find it obsessive, I find it drowning and I feel it taking the space of me.

[shimmeringathering]

here’s a project: to document my vulnerable/exposed/discontinuous feelings on my ‘falling for someone’ (this itself could be a projection, so disregard the naming of the feeling) .. and this whole concept of ‘dating’ as dehumanizing + power-induced relation. i understand the want to love and love and love — but do bodies have to be one of the currencies? desire is the actuality; lust is the reasoning; love is a veil which conveniently packs it all together. it has only been 2 times that i have met with this D - i’m not sure how to intuit when the future is so oriented on the present; do i have to decolonise the idea of a future itself? is that possible; to re-orient definitions into something that is its complete opposite? is it worth it to trace the trajectory of WHY and HOW that i’m not okay with this? and why do i need to explain it, anyway?

[shimmeringathering]

getting a cat today (!)

Lumi is your name. Finnish for snow. 

The first snow fell today,

I hope you’re as fluffy, fluttery, light and alive as the snow. 

cuddles, hopes and streams of lightness from you.

Lumi <3 Lumiere.

[shimmeringathering]

graduate school has been very tough, on my mental health, on my emotional (small creature who lives inside of me, poor her, she is very vulnerable right now) state, and testing the very limits of my being. part of why it is so tough though, is because i am learning something i love. i am uncovering the hidden secrets for which when i loved it in the surface, it wasn;t seen. they say — dont study something you love, you'll be critical about it, you'll learn to hate it, even. what they didn't say is that your heart will break, almost every week, a slow kind of pain, an even enjoyable one (somewhat); masochistic kind of love. anyway, tonight is especially too much for me, i have just been crying a lot, so this email will be irrational and emotionally unstable: but i'm really not like this everyday. in fact it's moments like writing this email that i get to let go, that i get to feel, and on the daily basis everything is hold tightly together and repressed in a neat manner; into a casual slip of "i'm feeling anxious today", but the worlds within that anxiousness never really gets explored. i'm completely exhausted, i am human yet i don't feel so, i feel tested on this very being human. there is a Girl in my class: extroverted, dynamic, loud, high energy. capable of expressing herself fully, even sometimes at the expense of other's expression. she is a little bit crazy, but she loves to love and therefore people of all my cohort (a total of 20 of them) are drawn to her, she's like 8 person in one body at times. at the beginning, we bonded very well through mini-impressions of instagram, before we met even we kind of knew we had similar interests and such. i felt completely inspired, safe even. but as time went by, i began to feel something stirring; something subtly dark, something that's going to fuck me over later, in her. and over these past few weeks it's been revealed: we are complete opposites in fact, my safe words are her enemies ('boundary' being one of them: important for me as an empath to set in order to stand up for myself, yet hated by her because it produces hierarchies and frames which are problematic— she is a social justice warrior, i am a colonized being who doesn't have to talk of these things. i am these things. i am marginalised. i come from a colonized country. the education system isn't great. i had to teach myself how to think. how to be critical. in some ways i alienated myself from my country, who does not know these things. at times i drive myself away from my family, who deemed my mindset 'westernized'. at times it rips my identity apart, my sense of self vanishes the moment i come in contact with it. in short: this is me, i know these things in my very core being. yet, those tho talk about these things, they are loud in their words, but their core is empty. another classmate said to me, "this is for them to feel good", after i asked why there was so much Theory of indigenous people here, how victimized they have been, how shitty their social condition was, and yet, in university, it's all Theory. i asked her, "how do the indigenous people live? from where you are, from Winnepeg" she says they are treated like criminals, they are sent down utilities via helicopter, and the cheapest goods for them was alcohol. this is on purpose: for them to be drunk all the time. i was shattered. these theories of indigenous marginialization: they are for colonizers to re-deem their past, to practice their progressive futures on, to exist as an idea. it dawned on me finally, as a personal conclusion: those who suffer do not have the language to express them, they do not know the words, because their very being is the language of that suffering. they do not have perspective, they do not have privilidge to take themselves out of their own body to put their bodies in perspectives: to do so would be to be a non-being, which they already are as an automatic existence right out of birth. and so, a very vulnerable, hedgehodge me (hedgehodge because i feel like a victim, because i feel silenced by this Girl: so my theories aren't objective but very much filled of subjective emotions, so perhaps they are way too judgemental, and even way off)  

[shimmeringathering]

aphex twin - stone in focus

when i listen to this song, my future flashes right before me: autumnal rain, boots on the damp ground, fluttering yellow orange skies peaking through lands; endless breadth.. a dog, somewhere breathing and wet on the porch, slow days where dreaming and dreaming and dreaming loops. i know this is what i want to live as, to live for. unattached, like an astronaut who’s sole reason to go to space would be to float it’s death away, to the persistance of the beauty it’s priviledges to see. in this moment reality ceases to be, responsibility towards things like politics, nation, justice... melts away in my puddle of self-search. self-discovery. “i think this is what heaven should be”

[shimmeringathering]

Passenger