The tales of Michael D. Shipmano as chronicled by Dan "Markenberydude Dude, Markenbery!" Markenbery.
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Statistics
We looked inside some of the posts by shitshipsays-blog and here's what we found interesting.
Average Info
Notes Per Post
2
Likes Per Post
1
Reblog Per Post
1
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
4 days
Number of Posts By Type
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17
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr was named as a finalist in Lead411’s New York City Hot 125 in Aug 2010.
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Joseph is Ship's penis.
"When Joseph is active I call him the undertaker. He'll put you in your grave."
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Ship's Parents
"Pamela's got a vagina, Dave's got a penis, this is the result. I was the last attempt."
"I want my parents to live a long time and that requires a healthy sexual relationship. My father is a plow."
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One Night at the Bar
Referring to an older woman in a hat across the bar, "How many drinks to get that 80 yr. old woman in the sack?"
"That's what Maryland does, crab cakes and not getting laid."
"You're the best piece of foreign diversity ever."
"Why wouldn't I wish a girl who sucked my dick a happy birthday? Wouldn't you?"
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Religious freedom, -or- Breakfast Thoughts
"Alright, you guys can go to church after this; I'm going to go home and worship the devil."
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Absolute Certainty (pt. 2)
(To his mother, in front of baby niece/goddaughter)
"You can have relations with salsa; I've done it."
"Michael, stop it!"
"I'VE DONE IT."
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Toy Story
Lyrics
"You've got a diiick in me,
You've got a dick in me,
O baby can't you see I'm half past pee,
You've got a dick in me"
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Friends
I feel bad, my dick single handedly ruined your friendship.
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On Vacuum Blow-Jobs
"....Maybe? I don't know."
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"Hold on a sec."
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"I think I put it close to my dick. I was playing around with it. But I got scared. I didn't want it to eat my dick."
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Fear Factor
"Want me to eat someone else's jizz? Well... everyone's got their price."
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Friendship
"You know how there's that saying, 'A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a best friend will be right next to you'?" Well, mine is, 'A good friend will beat up your enemies, but a true friend will rape them for you.'"
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Compromises
"I don't care if I have a gay son someday, but goddammit that kid is playing some baseball."
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I know a tough guy...
"You're talking to the guy who's drank someone else's piss before, I think I can handle it."
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Winning
"Winning isn't the only thing; it's the only thing... Wait, I said it wrong didn't I?"
He only noticed he said it wrong because I was laughing at him.
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