shmaimy

[shmaimy]

Danny homeless panhandling: Excuse me, sir, do you have a dollar you can lend? I just need one more to afford a combo meal at Batburger.

Bruce: Certainly, here you are, young man. *walks away*

Danny: Wait, sir! You accidentally gave me a $100 bill!

Bruce: *Pretends not to hear feeling good about giving money to a homeless child*

Danny: SIR! SIR! YOU MADE A MISTAKE, SIR! Oh dang, I lost him, welp. I guess I have to return this to him on another day.

The following day: *Danny spotting Bruce on his way to work*

Danny: SIR! SIR YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG BILL YESTERDAY

Bruce: *Confused but breaking into a jog to avoid taking back the money*

Danny: SIR! SIR WAIT. THE MONEY! TAKE IT BACK! Dang, lost him again!

A month later:

Bruce: *Sprinting full force down the street in a fancy suit looking to be attempting a track record*

Danny: *Right behind him waving a bill*

Coffee cart vendor: There they go

Hotdog cart Vendor: You think the kid would give up by now or at least get mugged after yelling he had an extra $100.

Coffee guy: Nah, the kid has morals, and apparently, three Black belts. Plus a knife.

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Sirius, still up at 3AM: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of the chickens, you are a chicken tender.

Remus, eyes wide, staring at the ceiling: ...

The next day:

Remus: When he said sleepover I thought he meant sex

Regulus: I warned you.

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shocking how much of writing is putting down a sentence and then thinking, "okay, but now a less shitty version of that"

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A little motivation 🥤

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a good sailor will always return to the sea

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#mood

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so i wore a pride flag pin to work the other day and the kids were all interested (obviously) (find me a classroom of preschoolers who are not obsessed with rainbows) (i'll wait) so they crowded around to see.

"aww!" they said, "it's a flag!!"

but the thing is: they're little. a lot of them don't really have a handle on all their mouth sounds yet.

such as, notably, that tricky tricky "L" sound.

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I’m not sure what’s funnier. All of gotham seeing Jason Todd out about with the Wayne family again after being definitely dead a few years ago, and the family not at all explaining it

Journalist: Is that the late Jason Todd with all of you here tonight?

Tim: Yeah

Journalist: Did he not die 5 years ago?

Tim: He did. Now he’s not.

Journalist: What exactly happened with him?

Tim: What are you a cop?

Or the whole family gaslighting everyone in Gotham into believing that Jason never died and was there the whole time

Journalist: Mr. Grayson, Is that your late brother at the hors d’oeuvres table?

Dick: (annoyed) Sure is. He can’t show up in time for Bruce’s speech but he can be here for the pigs in a blanket.

Journalist: I meant late as in… no longer with us.

Dick: I not sure what you mean, he’s always with us. You must not have seen him at all the other galas. He’s shy so he’s easy to miss.

Jason: (towering over everyone in his vicinity and shoving his mouth full of croquettes)

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What exactly was Archie doing in this scene? How often does he sit and face the corner that no one said anything?

"Archie. Go sit in the corner; 10s are talking."

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I Couldn’t stay away from this beauty. I adore these two whenever they team up. And also, I can imagine they will all end up with a mugshot, 100% sure.