shmaimy

[shmaimy]

saw a bunch of these memes on tumblr lately. had to join in on the trend with these two

p.s. these illustrations aren't mine. let me know who the artists are so i can credit them.

[shmaimy]

Bruce has a strict 'no metas/powers (except duke) allowed in Gotham' policy in place but it has a clause, BYOR (Bring Your Own Robin)

No one is allowed entry untill and unless they can produce their very own certified robin-shaped identity card

Whenever someone with even a hint of supernatural powers in them arrives at Gotham, they're first met with Bruce standing at the city border with a notepad in hand

Bruce: State your name and purpose.

Kon: Kon-el, here to hangout!

Bruce: Your Robin?

Kon, flourishing Tim from behind him: Ta-Da!

Tim, waves: Hey Bruce

Bruce: Approved, you may enter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Hal: Here to investigate a case, Hal Jordan

Bruce: Your Robin?

Hal: I.... don't have one?

Bruce: Denied

Hal: What?! But-

Bruce: Denied.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Yes, Wally, where's your robin?

Wally: Oh shit lemme just- *zaps away and returns with Dick, who was in the midst of brushing his teeth, in a bridal carry*- Here!

Bruce, grumbling a little: Fine. Approved.

Dick: You gotta stop using me as a key already, man

Wally: Blame Bruce.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Name and purpose?

Clark: Clark Kent, here for our monthly barbecue

Bruce: Robin?

Clark, producing an actual robin bird: Does this count?

Bruce:.....yes

[shmaimy]

The Wayne family decide to do a 24 hour charity livestream. It quickly descends into chaos and so many new memes are born.

The highlights include:

- Everyone painting along to a Bob Ross video - Steph's painting somehow catches fire (it was Damian).

- Damian challenges his brothers to a lightsaber duel

- All the kids vs Tim at Call of Duty. Tim wins.

- Dick kicking everyone's asses at Twister

- Dick and Jason try the milk gallon challenge. It does not end well.

- Tim tasers Jason. They get a paramedic to supervise. It takes both Bruce and Dick to hold Jason steady. Tim is grinning evilly the entire time.

- They try to play Werewolf but for some reason they let Stephanie be the "overseer" - goes about as well as you'd think.

- Bruce killing is at karaoke

- They read fanfiction of themselves. Jason gives constructive criticism.

- The most chaotic game of Cards Against Humanity to ever happen

- Superman makes a guest appearance to read some bedtime stories

- Damian has school the next day so he can't stay the whole time but he does introduce all his animals before he heads off to bed. There are about four new ones Bruce didn't know about.

- Bruce shows off all his kids' baby photos. No one knows where he got them from.

- There is a "Wheel of Destiny". They spin it every hour and whatever it lands on, everyone has to complete that task.

- Barbara is there mostly to monitor the livestream and donations and also tell embarrassing stories about the Wayne kids

- Just Dance Rasputin

- Cass tries to teach her dad and brothers ballet. Dick and Tim do pretty well, but Jason tries a pirouette and lands on his ass.

- Tim does drag to Like A Prayer by Madonna. This is how his siblings find out about Caroline Hill.

- Duke reads some of his poetry. It makes Dick cry.

[shmaimy]

Ships with height differences. Reblog if you agree

[shmaimy]

Piece of shit cat

[shmaimy]

How fandom portrays Tim's first months as Robin:

Tim: Batman, it's time for your anti-depressants.

Bruce: *grumbles*

Tim: Speak louder.

Bruce: Go away Jason.

Tim: It's Tim, actually.

Bruce: GO AWAY.

How it actually was in the Batman comics:

Tim: How did my report card got on your fridge?

Bruce: I took a look at your grades, and they were great, why? Except for chemistry. Maybe you should not go out as Robin to focus on school.

Tim: Not happening. I'm not falling for that.

Bruce: Well, if you are really going to do this, we should add bubble wrap to the suit.

Tim: I'm not made of glass.

Bruce: Are you sure about that? By the way, do you eat enough? ALFRED, can you cook something for Tim? He needs some food.

Tim: I'm fine Bruce!

Bruce: Are you sure? Do you want a hug? If you want a hug, you can ask. I can have Alfred make some hot chocolate.

Tim: You realize I have parents, rights?

Bruce: I don't see them in this room.

[shmaimy]

Thinking about the Bats suppressing their injuries and how yes, they have crazy high pain tolerance, and yes, they are in peak human condition, but ALSO, they do Too Much Shit sometimes and have definitely made injuries worse by accidentally ignoring them

Like, imagine one of them throws out their back doing something Totally Normal and Mundane so they just. Ignore it. Because I literally sneezed, it can’t be that bad, right?

(Spoiler alert: it is that bad)

Tim, moving more slowly than normal and grimacing every few seconds: damn maybe I pulled something

Jason, stopping by to pick up some things he needs while Bruce is out: ?? What’ja do?

Tim: I dunno, but my back really fucking hurts and I’m starting to get all numb and tingly

Jason: ?!?!?

Jason: How long has it been hurting????

Tim: I don’t know??? I guess, like, a few hours???

Jason: What did you do????

Tim: I DON’T KNOW, MAN, IT STARTED AFTER I SNEEZED

Jason, laughing: YOU HURT YOURSELF BY FUCKING SNEEZING????

Tim: THAT LITERALLY CANNOT BE THE CAUSE

Jason: I dunno man, kinda sounds like it

Jason, in tears: Maybe it’s time to retire

Tim: FUCK YOU IM FINE

Tim: WATCH I’LL PROVE IT

Tim, about to do a backflip: oh fuck- OW

Tim: *passes out from the pain*

Jason, still laughing his ass off: Nice landing, Timmy!

Tim:

Jason: Timmy?

Tim:

Jason: Tim?

Jason: oh shit—

[shmaimy]

legends

[shmaimy]

Don't ever hesitate. Reblog this. TUMBLR RULE. When you see it, REBLOG IT.

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[shmaimy]

[shmaimy]

In my DnD AU I just made up, this happens whenever they have to pair up.

[shmaimy]

THE ATELIER by Jimmy Choo The Rêve SS 2025 【The Vernal’s Murmur】

[shmaimy]

Hedwig saving Harry from dates with pointy ferrets🕊 (good luck next time Draco)

[shmaimy]

Cause these two are a match made in heaven - literally friendzoned/"just-an-assistant"ed themselves lol

[shmaimy]

So, weird dream, 4/8/2025

Fem! Harry Potter has been attacked, and somehow (dream magic) ends up at Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital

Somehow House knew her parents (I think in the dream there had been a third sister of Lily and Petunia, and he knew then through her?) and he adopts Harry

Harry wins over everyone in the hospital

She and House (who she calls Duck? Something about needing a name other than dad or father) cuddle and hang out, and she also chills with Wilson, Cuddy, Chase, Cameron, and Foreman. She even starts therapy (though it was with Cuddy?)

Hermione visits,I couldn't figure out why other than friends (this seems to be the summer after first year)(also she's friends with Draco and... Theodore Nott? I think)(there's a weird cut scene thingy)

ANYWAY she asks Cuddy and Wilson to be her moms, and they are like, "awwww, of course!" And she is happy, and then she asks Chase, Cameron, and Foreman to be her brothers and sister, which they agree (Chase was especially excited about "adopting" a little sister, for some reason), and she's, of course, happy about her new siblings, but laughs, because "Now House is your dad!" They groan a little and say, "you tricked me!"

Also, in the dream, she asked with contact thingies? Everybody signs then with varying degrees of enthusiasm (Cameron was hesitant, Chase, Wilson, and Cuddy were extremely happy too), except for Foreman, who is like, "I'm not signing something House's daughter made, " but upon seeing how sad that makes her, and seeing how happy Chase and Cameron signing made her (which he wasn't there for, he has no idea what she is asking them), he signs without even reading the paper, which Harry found very funny

ALSO towards the beginning of the dream, Harry "escapes" and everyone kind of freaks out, but it turns out she was just chilling in the reception area, and she ends up going to the receptionist, like, "sorry, I just wanted to not be in my hospital room for a while" and the receptionist is like,  "I understand, but your meds!" There's done sorry of agreement after that, that someone will take her out of her room every now and then, or something like that

The dream ended with her telling people that she has to go back to her boarding school. ALSO she is planning magical gifts for everybody (even if not everyone can know that they're magic)

I'm pretty sure everyone was a muggle, except for Chase. Chase knew things.

So, yeah, weird dream. Not the most confusing I've had, and not a nightmare, so... 10/10

[shmaimy]

Jason: Y'know, I was actually a ghost for a while before I was revived

Dick: *eye twitching* Is that so?

Jason: *smirking* Yeah.

Dick: That's so- interesting! I'll be right back! *slams the bathroom door in his face*

Dick, whisper screaming into his phone: LESLIE, I DON'T NEED THE ANTIPSYCHOTICS, I WASN'T HALLUCINATING JASON THAT WAS GENUINELY JUST HIS GHOST-

Jason, who only ever haunted Dick a couple days because he realized that Dick didn't seem to care about his death and thought Dick was only upset because Jason might've seen something embarrassing about him as a ghost: ?!?!?

[shmaimy]

Roy: It's so unfair

Wally: What's unfair?

Roy: How so damn pretty Dick is!

Kori: *Positively smug* Of course he is beautiful. I tell him every day. Sometimes twice. Sometimes all night

Gar: *annoyed* It's so unfair! The guy could literally commit a crime and just smile his way out of it!

Wally: On that note, sometimes it's a good thing.

Roy: What?

Wally: One time, we got pulled over for speeding, and the cop let him go because he "looked trustworthy".

Gar: So?

Wally: I was driving.