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I LOVE TIM DRAKE SO MUCH, HELP HE’S SUCH AN AWFUL GREMLIN, “Starfire’s right, we haven’t faced Deathstroke yet, we should prepare more.  I’m going to go look some things up.  So I can be prepared.  Because we should definitely listen to our mentors.” and TWO MINUTES LATER he’s already sneaking out the window and Kon and Cassie are shocked that he would GASP LIE to STARFIRE, and Tim’s like, this is amateur night, I lie to BATMAN. He looks so nice and polite!  He’s the responsible Bat, you don’t have to worry about him!  He said he would stay in, he looked so honest!  NO, TIM DRAKE IS A FERAL BAT WHO ONLY PRETENDS TO BE THE RATIONAL ONE, HE WILL LIE TO YOUR FACE AND THE SECOND YOU BELIEVE HIM, HE WILL BE OFF AND RUNNING AND GETTING STABBED IN THE SPLEEN OR SOMETHING.

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Cassandra: Yes, I am looking for trouble.

Cassandra: And if I cannot find it, I will CREATE it.

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and i know people mean well when they give employment advice but god damn some of them its like "did you try submitting your resume to a place that is hiring" fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck no kidding. shit. ive just been printing them out and eating them. yeah thanks i'll try that

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i had a 4 hour drive today so i put on the revenge of the sith audiobook and the part where palpatine tells anakin to kill dooku came on right around the time that i saw a cybertruck and for a brief and beautiful moment when he said "do it" i had the urge to ram my honda full on into that shitty ass car

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Everyone: "Nightwing is the nice one! Such a polite, kind young man!" Dick Grayson in comics: "If you wouldn't mind, I'd like to speak to the good Harvey. If not, we can make this interesting, like you like." Genuine supervillain Two-Face: "I'm here, I'm here!" NEVER FORGET THAT DICK GRAYSON IS INDEED THE POLITE ONE BUT ALSO HE CAN AND WILL WEAPONIZE THAT POLITENESS SO YOU'RE STILL READY TO SHIT YOUR PANTS IN FEAR

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I've been thinking a lot about Dick Grayson as I often do. Because like You are ten years old, and you've never really been normal, have you?But normal has never really mattered either. And why should it? You're ten years old, and you can fly, and every night your very existence is met with thundering applause and adoring crowds. You're not normal, but you've never needed to be.

Then it all gets ripped away. The crowds, the lights, and everyone who loved you, all gone the second you hear those bodies hit the ground. You are not normal, and no longer in a way that is okay.

You are eleven years old, and you can fly again. Not on the trapeze, but across Gotham's rooftops. You feel more alive than you have since the circus. Part of you starts to believe that Dick Grayson hit the ground with his parents while Robin flew away. You've done nothing but inhabit a corpse since that night, but behind the mask, you're alive again. Alive. But not normal.

You're in middle school, and the other kids like you alright, but they realize you're not normal. You put on your best act to convince them otherwise. It almost works. You play their games with false smiles. You become known for your charm. But it's hard. You have to make them like you, but not too much. Nice, but impenetrable. You're eleven years old, but you've watched Bruce very carefully, and you know that having people close to you is dangerous. You are not normal and you can never let yourself be.

You're a teenager now, and you spend more time in your mask than out. Dick Grayson has friends, sure, but Robin has teammates. And teammates are far more valuable. You have your Titans, and you finally fit in again. Right? It doesn't matter that they're older than you, but you've trained for longer, or that they have powers and you don't. You're still one of them. And they may not know Dick Grayson, but Robin is more complete, isn't he? Robin didn't die that night at the circus. Robin doesn't have to play normal to fit in. But you're still alone. Or, at the very least, still lonely. Lonely, and not normal. Even among aliens and superheroes.

You're an adult now, and your days with the name Robin seem like a lifetime ago. Dick Grayson still isn't a complete person, but you refuse to be like Bruce and hide forever behind that mask. But sometimes you still feel like you're doing little more than puppeting a shell. Nightwing is more grounded. Nightwing can still fly. You're not normal, and you've come to accept that you will never be, but you wonder if you could have ever been. Was it Bruce that sent you on this path, or did he catch you before you fell somewhere worse? Did Gotham make you like this or is there something in your soul that is just fundementally incorrect? Something that stops you from ever being normal? That makes your smiles false? Morphs your natural charisma into a character you play both behind and in front of the mask?

You will never know. It's one of the things that stops you from ever being normal.

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Do you think urban fantasy settings have porn discourse? Like all the races have different ideas of what they find appealing and how it should be presented. Drarves mostly write erotic literature in runes and you would not believe how slow burn that shit can get. You're five volumes in before the two main characters figure out each others' genders and realise that they may be attracted to each other.

Orcs don't really do narrative arts, they figured out advanced chemistry before writing, and they manufacture perfumes specifically meant to mimic the scent of an orc in heat and then jack off to the smell. Having an orc roommate in college is unbearable.

Gnome porn is unspeakable. Do not speak of gnome porn.

Elvish porn, regardless of media type, features more humans than the uninitiated would expect. This is largely because elvish mating customs are just as slow-paced as those of dwarves, so the myth of humans as wildly promiscuous hypersexual turbosluts is somewhat based in reality: the culture shock that elves often encounter in mixed relationships, where the human partner whom they have been appropriately courting in a perfectly respectable way all of a sudden throws all propriety in the wind and goes "hey we've been together for ten years, do you want to see my tits while they're still this good?"

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pro writing tip. if you're on a roll while writing but suddenly find your brain blank while agonizing over a word choice + can't remember the saying + can't choose between two synonyms etc, just add brackets and then the closest indicator you can remember. that way you can keep writing and then return to the sentence in editing.

examples:

"he [verbed] the arrow and watched it fly straight and true."

"agnes was so distraught and [couldn't be comforted] that the rest of them could barely get a word in edgewise."

"daniel couldn't help but marvel at how the arches in the building [stretched? reached?] over his head."

"in his opinion, the whole thing was as dull as [dirt?? look up idiom later]."

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I know we as a fandom don’t talk enough about the Batkids acknowledging how old Bruce is getting, but something I think we talk about EVEN LESS is the Batkids acknowledging Dick getting older.

Like Dick is pushing 30 in canon at this point, and realistically cannot do the same things he was doing as a kid. There is a reason a lot of athletes retire young, and Dick’s life has been brutal on his body, so eventually it’ll catch up with him.

Imagine if you will some random new JL/Titans recruit meeting Nightwing and asking “Is it true you can do a quadruple somersault?”

And Dick has to wince and say “I used to, but not anymore.”

Imagine the Batkids hearing that? Imagine everyone who saw him grow up hearing Dick acknowledge he is getting older and can’t do the same things he did in his youth. Imagine how they feel about their own age. Imagine the grief Dick must feel at knowing he’s losing the gifts his parents bestowed upon him, and the fact he’s out-aged them both.

Imagine Bruce painfully acknowledge (in his head because it’s illegal for him to emote aloud) that not only is he getting older, but his first child, his SON, is now the same age he was when Bruce took Dick in.

Imagine Dick picking the smaller option out on ice cream trips because his body can’t handle sugar the way it used to, or eating less in general because his metabolism has slowed down.

Imagine the Batkids sparring and Dick has to tap out because he can’t keep up with them all for as long anymore. Like he can’t keep still do a lot, and handle himself in a fight, but he is not showing off with flips the same way he used to.

Imagine the day one of the Batkids spots gray hair on Dick’s head, or realize that the lines on his face are just a little deeper than they used to be?

Babs keeps calling him the Boy Wonder as a private joke, but the boyish charm that Dick once had has since faded. He’s a grown man, and while at heart he still is the kid that brought light back to Gotham, his outside reflects the life they’ve lived and shared together, which didn’t just pass by in the blink of an eye.

And Jason pretends he doesn’t care, but realizes that Dick isn’t the same 16-year old kid that Bruce put on a pedestal. That he, out of all their siblings, saw Dick the most when he was in his prime, and that his older brother is just a little more fragile than he used to be.

And Tim thinks back to the days of him stalking Batman and Robin before, pulling out those old photos and realizing just how much Dick has aged. When did that happen, he wonders, and how much more will Dick change as he gets older?

Cass, Steph, and Duke acknowledge that Dick Grayson grew up, and left behind a legacy for them to fill, but they’ll always wonder what he was like when he was younger, and wonder how much longer he’ll be around. Bruce has been doing this vigilante schtick for 20+ years, but will Dick still be doing this when he’s Bruce’s age?

Damian takes it the hardest. He can’t look at Dick without thinking of him as the same Grayson who was his Batman, but the truth is, he’s not the same. His old portraits of Dick bear witness to that, with each one just a little different because time is not frozen to Dick the way it is with Ra’s and Talia. Damian privately grieves everyone he comes to care about in advance because death has surrounded him his whole life and eventually despite Dick’s promises that he’ll always be there for Damian, a day is coming when that promise will be broken.

But yeah. Older Dick Grayson. I have thoughts on this.

(Anyways don’t mind me. Just coming to terms with being the same age canonically as my childhood hero.)

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"Don't you get it?" Jason spat, teetering on the verge of a howl. "I'm not him! Jason Todd is DEAD. He's gone! I'm just what crawled out of his grave."

He panted into the silence that followed, eyes stinging heat.

Bruce said nothing. Jason worried he might stand there, unspeaking, unmoving, til the end of time. Or just turn and walk away. That was what he wanted, wasn't it? For Bruce to stop chasing the ghost of a dead boy? To accept that he was someone different, someone new?

Instead, when Bruce finally spoke, he was quiet, thoughtful. "Did you know that I loved you the moment I met you?"

He wasn't looking at Jason, but down at his hands, as if his gloves were a scrying pool that he could peer into to see that old Jason, twelve years old and desperate but so full of life. Jason thought he could taste dirt.

Then Bruce chuckled, still to himself, still to his hands. "You were so cocky, so unwilling to give up without a fight, even to me. Some things never change."

His smile fade and he looked up, straight into Jason's face. "You were also scared. Traumatized. You had nightmares for months. You lied constantly. Hoarded food. Stole. I was so worried we'd never be able to make you feel safe, the way you deserved to feel."

"I'm not—" Jason began, voice tight.

"You're not him," Bruce agreed, and hearing it spoken out loud, so easily, cut off Jason's air.

"You haven't been him for years." Bruce stepped forward, pushing into Jason's space. "Part of him is in you, but you're not him. You changed." He shrugged, shoulder somehow expressive even beneath the weight of the armor, the cape, the night. "You weren't the boy I took in off the street even before you died. You grew. That's life, Jay."

Jason was the one unable to speak now, stuck in place like a gods-struck fool.

"You change. You grow. And I'll keep loving whoever you turn out to be next."

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I was a latchkey kid with undiagnosed ADHD. I didn't know how to read a clock face but was expected to know when to leave for school on foot in a timely fashion anyhow. I kept all my school books in my backpack at all times regardless of what subjects I had that day because if I took them out at home, they would never make it to school again. I never did my homework unpromptedly, voluntarily or independently at home, not even once. I have no idea how many times I lost my house keys before I decided that my parents would be mad if I asked for new ones again so I just learned how to get by without them. If I forgot to leave the backdoor unlocked, I'd just have to sit outside for hours until someone else came home.

I'm not going to finish this with some boomer bullshit "kids today have it too easy" -take. I don't even know any kids, I have no idea how things are like for them these days. I think being a child just universally sucks.

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it would be beyond hilarious if the Batfam realized there's no real stopping Bruce from venturing out half dead when he's grievously injured (short of dosing him or causing a concussion). So instead they institute babysitting protocols.

Tim complains, Damian is mildly impressed but also occasionally worried enough to text for help, Cass enables him (and also grabs things for him), Steph throws things farther away, Jason's a little mocking but somehow both him and Bruce wind up fuming and a little upset by the end of the whole mess, Duke's exasperated and uses his superior mobility to try and crack the case early and send Bruce home (B will invent new, stupid reasons to continue like inspecting the Hatch). Dick, is Bruce's most fearsome opponent, when he's free.

Dick Grayson will spar Bruce into a coma, or take the time to loftily narrate all of Bruce's actions like a specimen on a documentary, crack the case but refuse to share key evidence until Bruce takes some meds, threaten to call Clark for air-jail purposes, emotionally guilt trip Bruce, physically trip Bruce (to save his life from a hail of bullets), physically trip Bruce for his own amusement, disable the Batmobile--

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obviously all mental shit is irrational and stupid but adhd paralysis. come on. like “I want to do ten different things at once and I care equally about all of them and therefore can’t decide which one has to be done first so I’ll just sit here and waste all of my energy trying to choose between them until ultimately the day is over and I’ve done nothing and am also no closer to figuring out what to do next than I was at the beginning of the day” are you kidding me

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“So let me get this straight. We’re here to rescue a princess.”

“That’s right.”

“At the request of a princess.”

“Right again.”

“And you, who will be leading the expedition, are also a princess.”

“You’re very perceptive.”

“How big is your royal family, again?“

“We don’t have one.”

“But–“

“We overthrew our monarchy centuries ago, but we kept most of the titles around. The rank of ‘princess’ is held by the directors in charge of various civil service branches.“

“Huh. And the princess we’re rescuing today is in charge of…?”

“Public sanitation.”

“The Lord of Death’s Dominion kidnapped your public sanitation director?”

“We think he’s a little confused.”

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Today's plan: Tactically trapping myself to my work desk with nail polish. Polishing one nail at a time and working while waiting it to dry, and every time my hands start to wander, I'll remember them and put them back to the real work. Polish another nail.