shondakins-blog

[shondakins-blog]

The Wolf

I am the wolf. The wolf that occupies the clothing of a trustworthy sheep. I feast upon the innocent to feed the growing ego inside of me. It's hunger compares to no else, devouring the sweet wool of credulous victims. A charming predator, living upon thy ignorant sheep. Where is the shepherd? Is he that oblivious of my arrogant , devious deeds? Obviously, I am the wolf. His absence brings me joy, though I pity my prey's keeper. Following his return, he shall weep as he realize my arrival. By then, I would have taken and soaked in the virginity of his entire herd. Because I, after all, am the wolf. And I would have long disappeared afterwards. His herd shall be tainted by my evil, and left shivering in loneliness as they yearn for more of my touch. How could they not? After all, am the wolf. After peeling off their soft and delicate clothing, I shall suckle upon the sweet nectar of their skin and graze their body with my roaming hands, leaving them to ponder on life without my very existence. Such a ridiculously absurd world that would be. So sinful. So unforgiving. What is life without me, once you've had me? After all... I am the wolf.

[shondakins-blog]

"What is the significance of our lives? With so many people living in such a small world, it's nearly impossible to rise upon the others and shine like the stars we want to be.

But isn't that our issue? 

Wanting to shine like the stars in the sky...?

But how can you identify a star in the sky when there are trillions of trillions out there that can also shine, with most that can shine even brighter?

No thank you. I don't want to be something so cliche like a star that hovers in the space of an overly crowded universe. Everyone wants to be a star that beams brightly in the dark sky.

Just as everyone wants to be a diamond that shines brightly in the light.

As everyone wants to touch the sun without the risk of being burned.

I don't want that.

I want to be that single blue feather that stands out brilliantly within the ocean. 

That single blue feather that catches the eyes of everyone it floats by as the eternal wind carries it willingly.

That single blue feather that everyone would stop to pick up and admire.

I want to be something different.

While everyone wants to be diamonds in the rough or bright stares that only shine in the night sky, I want to be that single blue feather that catches your eye and stands out from the rest of the world with its unique qualities.

Because simplicity is all it really takes.

Because simplicity is true beauty."

[shondakins-blog]

"Relationships were never my thing.

My longest, consecutive relationship was probably a year.

The others were much less, or required frequent breaks in between.

Somewhere along the way, I guess I slowly began to give up. It was always the ones that enjoyed to hurt more than they enjoyed to love.

Partially my fault, for falling so easily into their traps. For being so Naive..."

The alarm began its obnoxious wailing as the digital clock on my smartphone struck 7 A.M. Without opening my eyes, my hand automatically found its way to the noisy block and pressed down on the power button, snoozing the alarm. 

"Five more minutes, please..."

I turned to face a sleeping Noah and curled my naked body close to his with my hand lightly resting upon his hairy chest. His body was always warm, and I greeted it with a rather chilling touch. I felt him rustle against me, but he didn't pull away. I finally opened my eyes to stare at his still sleeping face and smiled.

My eyes trailed from his dreads, to the scruff of his beard, to the fullness of his lips. His complexion so rich and dark, It was such a dessert for the eyes.

The alarm started once more and I groaned, sitting up to shut it off. When I turn to face him again, he was giving me a sheepish grin. "Don't want to go to class today, huh?"

"Not really..." I replied, slightly poking out my bottom lip to pout. "But you have to go to work as well, so I might as well occupy myself."

He pulled me by my arm, making me lay next to him as he intertwined his fingers with mine. "Five more minutes, alright?"

"Noah, I have to be to class at 8."

"I know, we'll just take the turnpike."

Sighing in defeat, I laid my head against his chest with my phone propped right on his flattened stomach so i could keep track of the fast pacing time.

"So warm..."

I closed my eyes and slowly swirled my fingers into his chest hairs in a delicate fashion.

"What's wrong?" He asked. I could feel him move slightly, I suppose to catch a better view of my thoughtful face.

"Nothing, why?" I asked, quite confused.

"Well...You were sort of whimpering in your sleep. What were you dreaming about?" He asked as he took his hand and made me turn my face so he could bore his gaze into mine.

My eyebrows furrowed and as I start to brush it off, he gave me a stern look. I took my face from his hand and laid my head back onto his chest, facing my phone once again.

"I had that dream again...That you were going to leave me."

I could hear and feel him sigh. "You do know that a dream can't define your future with me, yes?"

I stayed quiet, not sure as to what to say.

"You didn't say 'I love you' back..."

"Chelle, you DO know that, right?" He asked, the tone of his voice seemed worrisome. 

The digital clock on my phone turned to 7:15 A.M. and I nodded. I crawled my way out of bed and began to search for my under garments.

"Chelle..."

"I know Noah. I know. But you just have to understand, I'm not use to all of this. You telling me beautiful, and looking at me the way you do, and giving me whatever I want, and yet..." My voice trails into silence and I purse my lips together, eyes stinging and threatening to rain.

"And yet...I haven't said it back..." He says in a hushed tone. I nodded, and began putting on my clothes with my back facing him.

"Come here."

"Noah, I have to put on my clo-"

"Damn it Chelle, come here!"

Sucking my teeth like a little kid, I threw my shirt to the ground and climbed back into the bed next to him. "Yes?"

"I like you. A lot. You have no idea as to how much I care about you. And because of that, it will come a time as to me telling you. But right now isn't it. I'm still figuring you out, as you're still figuring me out. It's okay..."

He takes my gentle hand into his rough palm and squeezed ever so slightly. "Let time tell. okay?"

I nodded and gave a small smile.

"Okay..."

He leaned in and kissed my forehead delicately before playfully pushing me and telling me to get dressed. I laughed and slipped into my shirt and jeans before grabbing my toothbrush and heading into his bathroom to freshen up.

"I suppose my first night at his place could have gone a bit worse."

I smiled and shook my head. 

So what if he didn't say it back? That doesn't mean I'll stop saying it to him. Eventually, he'll come around.

Time will definitely tell.

[shondakins-blog]

"With her arm stretched out, she reached...yet couldn't grasp anything but the thin air that surrounds her. The sense of loneliness envelops her as melancholy owned her expression.... Until you shouted out her name. Her eyes widened and as she looked up, her gaze finally met yours. You were here. A soft, sad smile crept unto her lips as she finally realized...you were here to rescue her from herself."

[shondakins-blog]

[shondakins-blog]

"And so she twirled, the delicate layers of her thick skirt picking up with the winter's wind. She catches a glimpse of the camera's lens and began to smile. Such innocence so rare, I must protect it from this wicked world."