20 // used to be a fandom blog but i missed the teenage rage so now i’m back i guess
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Four Years' Worth of Ramblings (and Pondering Life at Twenty)
It’s been about four years since I was even remotely active on here, even longer since I’ve made original content on this website. Well, in those four years since I’ve last used this blog, it’s safe to say I’ve officially grown up. I think I made this account when I was about 13. At that time, turning 20 genuinely felt like it would never come. As time tends to do, of course, it progressed - so here we are.
Given that I live in a country that would rather focus on banning social media apps and protecting genocidal governments that line their own pockets instead of, you know, helping its own citizens like a government is supposed to do, and one that is certainly fucked no matter who we end up electing this year, it just felt right to return to the website that radicalized me in the first place (especially when really the only other option is… *shudders* twitter).
I must say, it simultaneously feels weird and comforting to come back. As I enter my senior year of college (has it really been that long?), I’ve begun to look back at what has shaped me into the woman I am today. I know this website certainly had a hand. As I previously stated, this website truly formed my moral compass, at an age that I desperately needed something to. To those who have followed me in the past, and might still be lurking here today, I genuinely thank you for making me the woman I am today.
Now… what exactly has happened in these last few years? Well, a lot. These last four years have simultaneously been the best and worst years of my life so far (and seriously, from how my 2024 has mostly been going, fuck 2024). Let’s start with the negative and end with some positive things, shall we?
I've certainly had my share of shit thrown at me over the last few years, from having to file not one, but two Title IX complaints at my college within three years and going through my fair share of manipulative and abusive relationships (both platonic and romantic), to having - and overcoming an eating disorder. Somehow, I've survived (albeit with some added mental health medications and diagnoses - I expected most of them, but definitely not the borderline diagnosis).
It hasn't been all bad, though. Actually, some of these last few years have been really great. I finally have some real friends IRL (they're a bunch of losers - one is @hunter-blossom-5 if you want to see what the vibe is like, but they're my losers and I wouldn't trade them for the world), and I've fallen in love. Well, I mean, I've fallen in love several times over these last few years, but for once, I've fallen in love and know it's the right type of love: the love where even if the world is ending, it doesn't feel like that because you know that they will be beside you the entire time, and even more after? Yeah, I'm talking about that love. I know he has an account on here, but he's never told me what his username is. I hope that if he's reading it, he knows who I'm talking about - I love you, babe; always have, and always will.
I'm not sure exactly why I stopped posting, but I just did. I actively tried to distance myself from my days on here IRL. If you told me even two months ago that not only would I be revisiting so many of my old interests from my teenage years in my twenties, and being so open about my love for them, I would have thought you were insane. Something in the last few months in my brain just itched and longed for who I once was, the version of me I was when I was on here the most. Throughout a lot of these four years, I was incredibly rude towards the younger me present on this account, trying to bury her deep down to fit in more. I think I've been too harsh on her in my past, and just wish that I could go back in time, take back all the negative shit I've said about her, and just give her the largest hug - she definitely needed that more than the criticism I leveled instead. Well, time travel doesn't exist, and Back to The Future has taught me to never have yourself at two different ages meet. I think coming back here, showing her that as you get older you can still be you, is the best I can do for her in our universe.
Most of you have known me simply as mutantjediavenger on this platform. Some of you have known me as Ella, but for all who comes across this blog today, you can just call me El. You've earned it.
#life update#revisiting the past#mutantjediavenger#mental health#tw: ed mention#borderline personality disorder
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jeff and annie are mlm and wlw solidarity i think
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every single character from community is autistic and i will not back down from this opinion
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I think we should also appreciate how he took the time out of his days to visit kids at the St. Jude hospital while still battling with his own cancer. He was a real life superhero to not only me but millions of people <3
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Batfam As John Mulaney Quotes
dare i say it this is the best request i've gotten:
"john mulaney quotes for the batfam? maybe headcanon or something?"
if y'all like these give me other comedians because i had the time of my life researching this i love john
PT 2 WITH BILL HADER QUOTES
Batfam @ Therapy
jason: you know i'm filled with rage?
bruce: i keep all my emotions right here *points to chest* and then one day i'll die
tim: no one ever cared what i thought
damian: dick asked me if he loved me today
damian: and i said "no" you know, like a liar
Tim: I will pepper in the fact that i am gay
Kon: cool... can i pull you out of this burning building now?
Damian: why do people shush animals? they go "shush hey shush" like they have never spoken?!? idiots.
Kate Kane: do you remember being twelve and you're like "no one look at me right now or i'm gonna kill myself"
Bruce: every. damn. day.
Damian, 11: *visibly concerned*
Dick, with his brothers yelling: the things they say mean nothing to them, but they mean everything to me
Tim, when the DC writers put him with Steph: I have a girlfriend now myself
Tim: which is weird because i'm probably gay based on the way i've walked and talked for 28 years.
Damian, In Love
Dick: you gotta make a move buddy, go for it!
Damian: i'll walk up and say hello! no that's too subtle... i'll commit murder for her
Bruce: adopts another kid
All: you have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair
Jason: listen here Demon, i'm gonna give you the most important piece of advice i have
Jason: eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
Dick: NOOOO
Tim: do my friends hate me? or do i just need to go to sleep...
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i arrive at doofenshmirtz evil incorporated
perry the platypus: trapped
backstory: told
inator: out
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TODAY IS THE ONLY DAY YOU CAN REBLOG THIS

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Reblog if you stan any of these!
· Panic! at the disco
· Twenty one pilots
· IDKHOW
· Conan Gray
· Waterparks
· My chemical romance
· Billie Eilish
· Brobecks
· Ryan Ross
· Fall out boy
· Girl in red
· Idk anymore lolz guess this was it
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