shredderismsarchived

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐥𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞⠀ ❫

“ come to new york for the summer ? “ the question was rushed as he twisted a few of the rings that sat along his fingers, hazel eyes darting from her face to the soft grass under their feet. “ i want to show you the city. “ 

“ the whole summer ? ” a big city, loud sirens, mean people, dirty subways. nothing about new york sounded appealing to her and it was practically written all over her face. “ that... ” drawing out the word as she gulped frantic eyes scanning the ground as if there was a treasure map at her feet. “ is a very long time... ” reminding herself that she was supposed to be honest she tacked on, “ what if you get tired of me by the end of it ? ” 

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﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐝𝐢’𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐨⠀ ❫

di’angelo had       a good heart         but sometimes         he wondered,         if noah was       a little too naive.       he hears her     &.        nods his head       ❝ well,        maybe you         don’t always have        to be the       one to help        someone out . ❞       he furrowed        his brows        as she        mentioned the        other places,        that he hadn’t        been there for . ❝          well, good look        with that because        I’m really craving        for some soft       serve       ice cream ——-        you wanna        come        with me ? ❞ 

she frowned at his words. it wasn’t like he was the first person to tell her as much. she had a sweet nature that left her tripping over herself to help others, maybe because she always wished someone would have done so for her, maybe because her mother always told her that it was her job to help. either way she had a hard time accepting that she should just stop doing something that’s as integral to her as breathing. “ ice cream ? ” she perked up, “ heck yes i wanna come. are you payin’ ? ‘cause i already spent my money for this week and i can call my mama and ask for more but she’s gonna ask what i spent it on and if i tell her that i was buyin’ gifts for a sad girls she’s not gonna believe me. ”

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐲𝐚⠀ ❫

it  was  only  over  the  past  year  that  cecilya  had  found  anyone  really  wanted  to  know  what  she  thought  about  anything  ,  each  time  an  inking  of  surprise  on  her  features  but  then  ,  “  that  does  sound  like  a  good  idea  .  or  you  could  like  just  try  and  stop  doing  that  whole  oh  my  gosh  ,  no  one  loves  me  !  get  away  from  me  !  thing  for  a  week  or  two  ,  “  she  half  teases  ,  a  small  smile  on  her  face  .  “  you  two  will  have  the  longest  will  they  ,  won’t  they  of  all  time  .  honestly  ,  even  i  have  no  idea  what’s  going  on  and  i’m  meant  to  be  in  charge  of  our  family  .  “

“ cecilya ! ” faux outrage all over her face at her words, “ that’s so mean.”  a small pout taking it’s place, “ you’re meant to love me and be nice to me. what’s this ? not love i’ll tell you that much. get away from me. ” laughing to herself as her shoulders shrug, “ i guess so huh ? it doesn’t feel like it’s been a long time. sometimes it still feels like just yesterday that we were all meetin’ and having our very first family dinner. ”

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐥𝐚𝐟𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞⠀ ❫

for a minute, his brow quirked in thought at the statement before laughing easily. “ let me guess, cousin dicky ? he likes taking girls to italy. “ any previous worry laff had that she wouldn’t really talk to him went out the window at her long, winding and partially rambling monologue. probably because singing fish was an art long lost to any competing animation company circa shark tale and will smith fish. but he just chuckled to himself as she continued on, an out right laugh leaving him as noah realized exactly what she wanted. “ whatever you want, love. “ the words were simple and it was easy to mean them, his lips twitching with a miniscule smile. letting her tug him along, he hummed in mock thought while the delight of how ridiculous this all felt was. “ i’ll be anna, i can’t really imagine you with blonde hair though. “ frowning at her mention of daily drinking, laf thought of commenting but thought better instead just taking a longer stride and tugging her back into his grasp. “ lucky for you and your poor liver, we don’t have time for drinking. just lots of frozen and probably some takeout. “ 

wide eyed as she stared at him like he’d just saw straight through her head into her thoughts, “ he does that to other girls too ?! ” she wasn’t sure if that made her feel better or worse. when it’d happened it felt like the world was going to be ripped right out from under her feet, but at least then, she thought that this was a once in a lifetime thing. it got under her skin to think that she was another girl in his string of women. i knew i should have left that shit head alone. mind drifting to fantasies of going back to italy if only to commit a terrible crime because someone needs to avenge us all ! she’s so entranced in her master plan that for a moment she forgets he’s there until his voice rings in her ears. “ why would you say that ? i would look amazing with blonde hair, maybe not as blonde as hers but still, you’re supposed to tell me that i’m beautiful and you’ll love me no matter what. ” jabbing her elbow into his side with a frown, “ this is no way to treat a lady. if we were back in texas right now all i’d have to do is a shed a tear and you’d be gettin’ a tour of the farm buddy boy. ” it may have been a threat but that didn’t keep her from saying the words with a giant grin. “ my poor liver is just fine, the liver is the only organ that regenerates itself, all i’ve gotta do is give it a day to reset itself and i’m good. ”

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐲⠀ ❫​

𝐢𝐧  𝐚  𝐥𝐨𝐭  𝐨𝐟  𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬  ,  cassidy  and  noah  were  a  lot  alike  when  it  came  to  how  closed  off  they  were  .  when  it  came  to  letting  people  in  .  when  it  came  to  wanting  to  be  wanted  ,  wanting  someone  to  stick  around  even  when  things  got  hard  ,  even  when  they  were  the  ones  pushing  people  away  .  but  they  were  also  a  lot  alike  when  it  came  to  finally  getting  that  feeling  of  someone  being  there  and  feeling  this  need  to  destroy  it  .  even  still  ,  cassidy  struggled  with  keeping  people  close  .  he  still  felt  himself  shutting  down  at  times  ,  felt  himself  start  pushing  away  as  if  it  was  some  kind  of  instinct  .  like  a  defense  ,  even  when  things  were  going  great  .  there  was  still  a  voice  in  his  head  telling  him  to  set  everything  on  fire  .  of  course  ,  now  he  tried  his  hardest  not  to  let  the  self  destruction  effect  the  relationship  he  was  in  .          (and  even  then  ,  he  wasn’t  perfect  at  it  .     )          listening  to  noah  ,  he  nodded  .          ❛     i  get  it  and  if  you  aren’t  ready  for  whatever  it  is  that’s  going  on  between  you  and  laff  ,  then  you  aren’t  ready  .     ❜           the  male  spoke  honestly  ,          ❛     can  i  say  something  without  you  getting  defensive  ?     ❜          cassidy  asked  ,  knowing  that  if  the  situation  was  flipped  and  he  was  the  one  saying  what  noah  was  saying  and  noah  was  the  one  saying  what  he  was  about  to  say  .  he’d  get  defensive  .          ❛     you  ever  think  you  push  people  away  before  they  ever  get  a  real  chance  to  show  you  that  they’d  stay  and  love  you  ‘cause  you  don’t  think  you  deserve  it  ?  ‘cause  you  think  you’re  better  off  on  your  own  ?  maybe  even  like  you  weren’t  built  to  be  with  anyone  ,  that  it’s  just  supposed  to  be  you  on  your  own  ?  like  maybe  you  don’t  wanna  burden  anyone  with  yourself  ?  like  you’re  protecting  them  from  the  inevitable  crash  and  burn  ‘cause  you  have  this  sinking  feeling  that  you’re  supposed  to  be  alone  ?     ❜          and  maybe  he  just  wanted  to  know  if  she  had  the  same  plagues  on  her  mind  that  he  also  continuously  pushed  down  .  he  didn’t  have  any  magic  trick  to  help  her  out  of  it  but  the  thought  of  feeling  like  the  thoughts  weren’t  crazy  or  shared  ,  maybe  it’d  help  ?

“ probably not, ” it was an honest answer. she had a tendency to be up in arms about someone not liking her shoes, let alone one of her best friends saying something that made her stomach drop. “ but i can promise not to punch you. ” a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. she doesn’t come to cassidy for advice, well not real advice, she comes to him to talk. to dump out all of the thoughts and feelings she can’t tell anyone else. he’d always been the one to listen to her. take in her words without a drop of judgement. when it started she didn’t even know his name, she couldn’t have cared less what he thought of her, or anyone else for that matter. the point was to get drunk, blab about her feelings, and go. most times she couldn’t remember exactly what they’d talked about in the first place so it was easy to tell him things she kept buried under the surface. she can’t remember the exact moment that changed, when she stared tucking little strips of his advice in her back pocket, but this wasn’t like usual. fortune cookie advice she could handle. she could break down his cryptic meanings into whatever she wanted them to be. this time, there were no bite sized nuggets of wisdom that you have to squint your eyes at, just truths about herself that she wasn’t aware he knew. “ i don’t know. ” the words leave her mouth before she can even think. an automatic response to feeling any type of emotional pressure. “ well i...i do. i do know. ” picking at her nail polish as she tries to force his words through her mind. “ i think that i...i know how to be alone. i’m really good at it, in fact, ” she laughs a little at how sad it sounded. “ what i don’t know, is how to be whatever it is that people are looking for, i’m not a perfect girlfriend who keeps her emotions under control when things go to shit. i’m not a good housewife who’ll want to stay home and raise the babies. i’m not even a good friend, who is there to listen to people instead of just dumping all my shit on everyone all the time. i... ” trailing off as her brows knit together, “ i don’t want to be alone. ” that much was painfully obvious. she went out of her way to spend every waking moment with someone. attaching herself to anyone, anything, that showed her even a drop of attention. “ i want to be able to just be the old me, that trusts blindly, that gives second chances. it’s just hard to let go of everything else. to believe that anyone would want to actually be with me, you know. the me that’s a total fucking mess, that swears like a sailor, that drinks like a fish and takes a stuffed bear with me to every destination. i don’t know if it’s even fair to want that, to try and force someone to put up with me and all my...meness. ”

[shredderismsarchived]

true or false: you don't want to date lafayette.

true...false ?? tr-false final answer, false.

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You wish things had worked out differently with Finley.

true

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true or false: you're in love with lafayette.

true.

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true or false: you need therapy and probably an AA meet up.

FALSE !

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true or false: you run from what makes you happiest.

true.

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true or false: you try your best to not hurt anyone.

true.

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀ 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐘 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀ 𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒆⠀ ❫

noah shredder 

orion grey & saiyr zamora  

auggie grey 

[shredderismsarchived]

SUCCESSION | PRE-NUPTIAL 

[shredderismsarchived]

CRUSH(2022), directed by Sammi Cohen

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲⠀ ❫

raising three fingers, tommy looked at her with the most serious look he could muster in his current state. “it’ll never happen again, dude, scouts honor.” he said before chuckling. his eyes fell to the washer she was using, watching with little interest in how she threw everything inside. at another time, he would have asked if she wanted to check any of the pockets - maybe just a single one - but not now. it was her laundry, her choice. “i guess so….it’s not a math question, is it?”

 “ no dummy, i wouldn’t ask you for math help, no offense. i’m sure you’re great at lots of things. i’m just insanely smart. ” eyes rolling as she pressed start on the machine before pushing herself up onto the folding table. “ well i wanted to know if you like someone. after that whole reese and emerson debacle, wait oh my goodness do you like one of them still ? or are you moving onto someone new ? most importantly if not, can i be your wingwoman and or matchmaker. ”

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐜𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐥𝐲𝐚⠀ ❫​

they always fell on different ends of the spectrum when it came to how to deal with any given situation but there was a reason that cecilya couldn’t risk losing anything else . she’d already gone through life letting go , allowing things to be claimed or the universe to decide her fate for her . “ you never have your fill of things that hurt . but i’ve never forgotten about anything that i didn’t try for , “ she admits , although she’s not disagreeing or saying noah is wrong for her feelings , she just doesn’t get it . 

“ so what do you think i should do ? ” she asked knowing there was a very good chance she’d brush off cecilya’s advice, not because she didn’t think the girl was right ( she had an annoying habit of being so ) , but because she had a hard time accepting that she might be wrong. “ just stop self sabotaging and let him in. ” face scrunching up in complete discomfort at even just saying it. 

[shredderismsarchived]

﹟ ⠀   𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 ⠀﹕ ⠀ ❪ ⠀𝐧𝐨𝐚𝐡  +  𝐝𝐢’𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐨⠀ ❫

he’s sitting      on the couch,      laptop on his       lap as he      felt the       sudden voice       of the femme       ❝   hey, blondie !     ❞        he says as          he lets his      gaze go back        to his laptop,        though       he still          managed       to listen to her.        closing the lid       of the computer,        he turns her        ❝ you’re       always  going     out of you way      for someone,      you       do know      that right ?  ❞

“ that’s alright, sometimes people need someone to go outta their way for ‘em, i don’t mind bein’ that person. ” at least on most days. “ besides there was that time i had a mental breakdown at prom or when we all got locked in that house in russia or...well you know what let’s not talk about uganda. anyways since i’ve been the crazy girl i’m always on their side because chances are my girl isn’t crazy she’s just going through it. ”