shrinkingmirth-blog

[shrinkingmirth-blog]

Henlo gudmorneng, sirain natin umaga mo.

[shrinkingmirth-blog]

Habang tumatagal mas nagiging disappointed ako sa sarili ko.

[shrinkingmirth-blog]

Do u feel doin' something but also don't want to?

[shrinkingmirth-blog]

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It's been a long time self and u still sad af.

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Agh putangina ang dilim ng utak ko.

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I tried opening up, kaso wala.

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Bakit sa kabila ng sobrang daming taong nag mamhal sakin I still feel alone? Dahil. Ba sa sobrang selfish ko? Masyado ko lang bang iniintindi sarili ko? Or afterall wala naman kasi talaga?

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Sobrang ayoko na.

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I just need my person.

Gusto kong iiyak lahat, ilabas lahat. Gusto kong icomfort yung sarili ko kasi alam kong wala ka na para gawin yon. Ang hirap hirap lang. Nararamdaman ko na namang napag iiwanan ako ang you're the thing that puts me back on track. I just need you.

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Masakit pala no? Yung malaman mong may feelings ka pa rin talaga sa kanya nung nalaman mong masaya na siya sa piling ng iba.

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Ang dami kong gustong gawin.

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I badly miss having someone.

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One day I would never thought of you like nothing happened.

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i didn’t realize growing up meant dying inside but hey it’s whatever

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To the person who I thought would stay,

Its been a while since you left without goodbye nor enough reason for me to let you go. Siguro sobrang blinded lang ako para makita yun. Behind those "I'm still not ready, sorry nag kulang ako, siguro di ko deserve talaga mag ka girlfriend" I should've seen it, pero sobrang bulag ako ng mga gestures mo bcs somehow alam kong sincere ka.

Akala ko parehas tayo, ngayon ko lang na realize na hindi pala na between those 'hala ako rin!' lagi palang 'pero ako naman...' akala ko pareho pa tayong hindi ready for a relationship, pero ako lang pala yung nag reready para don. Akala ko we're goin somewhere, pero biglang nawala, tumigil. Siguro yun na din talaga yung dulo. Sorry, hanggang ngayon sobrang clueless pa rin ako kung bakit biglang nawala. I am not asking you to pursue me, I am just asking you to meet me halfway. Is it too much to ask? Or am I just not worthy enough to be met halfway?

Thank you for every friday night well spent with you. Thank you for every kwentuhan, lalo na sa pakikinig sa rant ko sa buhay. Thank you for walking wd me sa bus stops. Thank you for simply existing. Thank you abudoy ko.

Sorry kasi *wait pota, rn biglang nagplay yung walang hanggan ng quest pota, di naman masakit* nasasaktan ako ngayon. I dont know pero feeling ko kasi di ko to dapat nararamdaman, malinaw naman na yung gusto mong iparating eh, di ko lang matanggap. Wag ka mag alala pipilitin kong tanggapin mula ngayon. This will be the first and last time na susulat ako about sayo.

Now signing off

Your abuday

[shrinkingmirth-blog]

Eto na naman, napapaisip na naman ako. Tangina talaga.

Bakit pa ba ako nag aalala matagal ko na namang alam na mag isa ako. This shouldn't be hard.