sillydragons

[sillydragons]

I cant believe this tweet is how I find out

[sillydragons]

Hotch: Why are you on the table Y/N?

Y/N: *tries to act natural* What?! Can I not be anywhere I want?! Maybe I just like it up here!

Hotch:

Hotch: Where's the spider?

Y/N, quietly: Under the table

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“Dude, has this ever happened before? Like, in the history of hunting, ever?” “I’m sure it has, Dean. It probably just wasn’t recorded, for good reason.” That's the conversation Hotch wakes up to, soaked in blood and barely conscious on the floor. He doesn't remember how he got there, and he doesn't recognize the voices, but he's about to pass out, and all he can do is hope things are better when he wakes up.

It's Update Wednesday! Check out my new oneshot (which puts me at 80 stories on AO3, which is insane) for Criminal Minds x Supernatural!

AO3 // fanfiction.net // wattpad

[sillydragons]

I think I really prefer the term "rehabilitating' for a villain who's going through a character arc and becoming a better person, over 'redeeming'.

Not only does it take away the culturally christian connotations that "redeeming" has, but rehabilitating also better shows the context of, you know, actually putting in the work and effort to overcome their problems.

From now on, for me, it's not a "villain redemption arc" its a "villain rehabilitation arc."

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my grandpa was a good man. and it really wasnt his fault - recreationally lying to kids is a proud family tradition - but he told me, once, that cutting a worm in half resulted in two worms.

i think he said it so i'd be more morally okay with fishing? i actually dont remember the context.

point was, he told me this, and he understimated (by a very large margin) how much i liked worms. i was a worm boy. very wormy. and after hearing that, i went home, and i dug through the garden, flipped over every rock, did everything i could to gather as many worms as i could, and then i uh.

i cut them all in half. every worm i could find. all of them. with scissors.

i then took this pile of split worms, and i put them in a box with a bit of lettuce and some water and stuff and went to bed expecting to double my worms overnight. i have math autism, so i had a vague understanding that if i did this just a few times in a row, i would eventually have a completely unreasonable amount of worms.

i was very excited to become this plane's worm emperor.

(i think i was...six?)

anyway, i did not become the inheritor of the worm crown. i instead woke up to a box of dead worms and cried. a lot. i got diagnosed with panic attacks as a teenager, but i think i had them as a kid, i just had no idea what they were. i was kind of processing that a.) i had killed what i had assumed was every single worm in my yard, and thus would have no more worms, and b). i was going to like, worm hell.

(six year babylon spent a lot of time worrying about god.)

so i kind of freaked out, and i climbed a tree, because god can only smite you if you're touching the ground (?) and i sat up there mostly inconsolable until my mom came out and asked, hey, what's up? what happened?

so i explained to her that i had killed all of the worms, forever, and was also Damned, and she took me to the compost pile, and we dug for all of five seconds and found like twenty more worms.

the compost pile was full of worms.

and she told me that a). there were more worms, and we could put them back under rocks and stuff and recolonize our yard and b). that one day, i would die, and i would go to heaven, and i would be able to talk to the worms, and i would be able to tell them all that i was very sorry, and that i killed them on accident out of excessive Love, and that they would forgive me, because worms have six hearts and no malice.

at that point, i think i was sixty percent tear-snot by weight, and i had no choice but to gather enough worms that i could hug them. which my mom helped with. and then after that she helped me put some worms back under each rock.

and for my epilogue: i spent a significant portion of my childhood in trees. and for many years after, even when my mom didnt know i was watching, i would catch her giving the space under the rocks a light spritz with the hose. not because she loved worms.

but because she loved me.

[sillydragons]

Leon: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."

Merlin : ...

Merlin : What a stupid quote.

Merlin : I'm killing way more than two people Leon.

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Barbara: You are not going to believe what I found in Damian's laptop. It's actually a little worrying.

Bruce: Should I be worried as a father or as Batman?

Barbara: *So and so hand motion*

Bruce: *deep breath* What did you find?

Barbara: He has files upon files about a boy named Daniel Fenton. Apparently, he's been following him around for months documenting everything there is about him because, and I quote, "Fenton generates a airborne illness targeting humans. Symptoms include: Quicken heart, sweaty palms, flushing in the face, upset stomach and difficulty in speech."

Bruce: So he has a crush and instead of handling it in a healthy normal way, Damian just assumed that this Fenton boy is patient zero? And now he's stalking the boy to prove it.

Barbara: That's a good summary, yeah. Oh and he's doing it as Damian Wayne. I'm also like ninety-nine percent sure Fenton is aware of Damian following him around.

Bruce defeated: Of course he is. How bad is Fenton handling it?

Barbara: Suprisingly, I think he finds it funny. I hacked Fenton's messages to his friends back in Amity Park and he has described Damian as "A cute human trying to be a proper ghost in courting."

Bruce: What does that mean?

Barbara shrugging: Local teenage slang most likely. Other teenagers in Amity Park talk like that a lot from what I could dig up. In any case, you need to have a chat with Damian.

Bruce sighing: I'll dig up the old puberty books and speak with Damian tonight. There goes my bubble bath time....

Barbara patting his shoulder: May you one day soak for hours without your kids doing something stupid.

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Bruce: And if someone comes up to you at school and says ‘hi, I’m one of B’s friends, I’m here to pick you up’ what do you say?

8 year old Dick Grayson: Liar! Bruce doesn’t have any friends!

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Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

[sillydragons]

Y'all ever think about how insane it would be when Merlin and Leon had to explain to the group about random shit in the modern era? Like:

Lancelot: How do they make clothes so soft in this time?

Merlin, sipping tea not looking up from his newspaper: Plastic

Arthur: I would have thought you would have stopped making up words some time in the last 1500 years.

Merlin quirks eyebrow and looks toward Leon

Leon, already sighing, headache not having gone away since the lot of them rose from the dead: Ok so for this to make any sense you have to know about dinosaurs...

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AU where when Bruce gets lost in time he ends up helping start the Stonewall Riots 🙏. Like it could be an accident or it could be on purpose but I need it to happen. And then whenever one of the batkids tries to jokingly accuse him of homophobia, he’s just like “actually, I threw the first brick at stonewall” and nobody knows if he’s telling the truth or not. But then like he’ll also be so adamantly against homophobia and sometimes he struggles not to bring it up in conversation.

Bruce: You’re grounded.

Tim: Wow, during Pride Month??? Way to let your biphobia show.

Bruce: My brick gave you pride month so I’m immune to that accusation.

Tim: What the fuck??? What does that even mean???

Damian, at dinner, talking about transphobes in his classes: I understand violence is discouraged at the academy, but surely this can be the exception.

Alfred: Unfortunately not Master Dam-

Bruce: Back in my day, we used to hit them with bricks and beer bottles.

Everyone: 👁️👄👁️

Alfred, trying to remember any incidents where this happened: ????

Damian: Thank you for the advice, Father.

Dick and Jason, getting picked up from the police station for getting involved in a riot against transphobes and homophobes: Listen, we can explain -

Bruce, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye: I’m so happy you decided to continue the family tradition. I couldn’t be more proud.