sillylilyfilly

[sillylilyfilly]

That Silly Lil Thought

I keep thinking, you fool. you pretty pretty fool. What a shame to be ridiculed and mocked by yet another man who doesn't even have a carriage to pick up his princess. I think there's a lost art in looking up from both phones and bullshit. I want to dig down deep into myself and see just where I took the left turn, which led right on down to the wrong turn and got me addicted to some glorified mommies boy. Don't get me wrong, ok. I did LOVE the boy. That's where all the micro aggression comes from if you couldn't tell. He gave me inches, and I took miles. He gave me lust and I took it for passionate love. He gave me excuses and I made up even bigger ones in my head to downplay how stupid it ALL was. My point is, we've all been there, and if you haven't.. well, buckle u buttercup, your time is coming.

I deeply indulged in my paranoia even when I did not want it to be like that because this time I thought if it didn't feel safe then it didn't feel right, I wanted to be sure and I wanted someone to be sure of me. After careful consideration and a growing frontal lobe I realized, This is a completely normal request- you just have to give it to the right person. I keep hoping that maybe possibly he would still call and it wouldn't feel so incredibly silent in these four walls but realisitly what would happen if he did? a spike in my blood pressure? a crash in my sleep? a downward spiral? or........ hear me out, he calls, he apologizes, he's serious, he means it, he wants you back and he's changed..... and you wouldn't have known that had you not answered

I think that's that silly lil thought that keeps this mind spinning

[sillylilyfilly]

Putting it out into words the best way I know how