sillyparker

[sillyparker]

i apologize for the random think pieces every now and then,.. my brain is just always mourning my poor peter and tony

[sillyparker]

Should Peter know?

It's pretty well known just how prone Peter is to feeling guilty, even about things he had no choice in.. so I bring up the question;

SHOULD Peter know Tony Stark figured out time travel, risked his life and prepared everything with the belief he could die, (but still think he could bring Peter back, possibly meaning Tony was prepared to make a self sacrifice) all just to bring Peter back? Or would it be best for him to not know like in current canon?

I personally think it'd eat him alive, especially seeing Morgan.

Knowing she lost her father because of him, even though he didn't choose for Tony to sacrifice himself. Peter doesn't really remember his parents either, because they died when he was around the same age Morgan is now, so how could he get over the fact everybody but Morgan herself, knew who her father was? He unknowingly restarted a cycle of grief.

(Plus Peter realizing he was one of the few last people who ever spoke to Tony alive, and the last person he ever hugged. He got to see Tony take his last breath, but Tony's own daughter didn't.)

BUT, not knowing like canon has made him consistently unsure, he knows Tony cared for him to an extent, but he'll never understand just how much. Tony became a dad during the five years, he softened in ways unimaginable prior, and had a clear realization along the way that he had loved Peter similar to the way he loves Morgan.

Still, Peter doesn't know that, how could he? Tony died far too quick, his insecurities in ffh of what Tony felt towards him clearly led Peter to not thinking he could hold the mantle of who Tony was, and instead handed it to a stranger who could never possibly mean the same Peter did to Tony stark. (Not when he never got the choice to know either.)

Even then, it obviously would come with its own repercussions. No matter the situation, it'll hurt Peter anyways.

This ends with Peter either feeling incredibly guilty over Morgan losing her father, and an unnecessarily amount blame he pins on himself for Tony dying.

Or forever feeling insecure of their relationship, of what Tony even saw in him, never knowing just how much he truly cared, and the absolute sacrifices/risks Tony would (and did) take just to have him back, even for a second.

[sillyparker]

ive always had bad luck but after being fixated on spider man its gotten significantly worse which is concerning. Has he infected me

[sillyparker]

AND FUCK TIM MINEAR!!!!!!!!!! AND THE RUSSO BROTHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE ALL OF YALL

[sillyparker]

everytime i remember steve's character ending in endgame i want to explode the russo brothers

[sillyparker]

One document and straight to writing. literally just going with the flow of whatever my brain produces actually

hello writers.

[sillyparker]

okay the 5 or 6 hours of sleep are catching up to me. i am exhausted. Goodnight everybody

[sillyparker]

lets say in this context, ben is canon in the mcu - do you think peter ever feels guilty for mourning tony the way he does? tonys presence lasted infinitely shorter in peters life than ben ever did, infact, tony and peter have spent more time mourning eachother than actively being with one another.

but do you think he feels.. bad? because he misses tony so much, sees him everywhere, and being spider-man meant the public expected him to encapsulate who iron man was, whilst peter parker was still fighting to become the man ben helped him be, the same boy where ben would be ingrained in so much of who he is, whether personality wise or mannerisms

he's actively meant to live up to the ben parker image, not because the world is expecting it, but because it was his uncle who meant the world to him, and he wanted to do him justice, help the little guy, etc. but he also has to live up to who tony stark is, help the greater good, be the man of the same bravado and confidence, just know what to do.

peter's mourning both, even though tony's time with him was cut far shorter than he'd saw coming, yet he struggled so severely to get over him, so much of tony stark can be seen in him, be it because of the man himself and his actions rubbing off on peter, or because they were just so naturally alike.

they both played a somewhat similar role to peter in his mind, ben most definitely doing the hard work of raising peter, but tony was apart of most of peters aspirations, both men were people peter looked up to, they played a similar role from the start, before tony was ever really in the picture, before ben died. it was just in different ways, but tony could never really compare to ben, not at that point in time.

but now tony has became akin to a father figure to peter, helped him constantly with spider-man, mourned for peter like he was his son, quite literally figured out time travel just for him. but ben raised him, loved him, was apart of his life ever since he was kid, but (possibly) so was tony.

(im Literally just saying words at this rate. its 2pm. i havent slept. i miss tony stark. sorry if none of this makes sense)

[sillyparker]

FELIX ✿ SUNSHINE VLOG 10: IN PARIS

[sillyparker]

Peter Parker's birthdays, from 15-18. (2/4, 5.7k WC)

"I wrote it. Do I press send now? Should I like wait till a certain minute? Make it cool? Or.." His suggestions becoming considerably less audible as they morph into anxious muttering. "It's probably fine how it is. What's stopping you now, anyways? You've never been this worried talking to somebody- I mean, sure, this is Tony Stark we're talking about, It'd be really and I mean really embarrassing if you messed something up-" "-Not helping, Ned." "Oh, yeah, sorry. But, the point is, you'll be fine. He'll see it then go, 'Aw! It's Peteys birthday, I'll send him like.. a million dollars, or like a raise.' because that's what billionaires do, or maybe he'll be crazy and say happy birthday— something that neither of us will ever stop talking about till the day we die. Both sound like awesome options to me, at least."

[sillyparker]

okay i said tmrw but i RLLY mean it this time..

irondad fic update tmrw TRUST

[sillyparker]

guys.. do you think i got scammed

[sillyparker]

as cliche as it is, does anybody else just cry over how the fact tony and peter could have had a singular real conversation post snap (peter fully find out the extent tony changed and loved him, more than the hug showed) would have fixed.. so much. even tony ended up dying still.

closure, and understanding would have done so much. peter is still himself, but he wouldn't be as doubtful of how much tony cared and believed in him. his memory wouldnt always feel sour, the memory of peter not realizing the hug was the last memory he'd ever have fondly of tony.. there was so many lasts all at once, and he just wasnt prepared.

[sillyparker]

irondad fic update tmrw TRUST

[sillyparker]

me if incorporating tiny references of my interests in fics im writing was a crime

[sillyparker]

Okay so. why did i think watching another person lose their pseudo father this week was a good idea.

watching tlou ep2 in half an hour.. im SCARED (i know ykw dies but im STILL SCARED)

[sillyparker]

watching tlou ep2 in half an hour.. im SCARED (i know ykw dies but im STILL SCARED)