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nesta's new blog!!

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swoops in to give you forehead kissies and a prompt ✨ “ i can’t do this without you. “

my favorite high lady 🥰

“we both know that isn’t true. you’ve already done so much without me.” a bit softly, almost guilty, she added, “for so long you were able to do many things without me.” steeling herself, nesta turned away and looked out the window. it was easier to have this conversation without looking at her sister. even though it was somewhat cowardly to do so. “you once asked me why i push everyone but elain away. it was because elain needed me and you never did. if i’m being honest, there was jealousy toward you as well.” her eyes close briefly as she recollects their childhood. “mother bred elain and i for high society. although she had different endgames for the two of us and taught us different tactics to use when navigating that world, the training was brutal. mother had the two of us to use for her ambitions so you were the lucky one who wasn’t in her grasp.” nesta didn’t want to go into detail, she especially didn’t want to mention their grandmother who made their mother look like a saint in comparison. “i’m sure growing up you had a different view on her ignoring you, but feyre i assure you, you were lucky.” at last nesta faced her sister. “you were free. that’s what i always wished to be. i couldn’t even play outside when i was child because that wasn’t very lady-like,” she scoffed. “growing up there were countless times you looked at me as if i was beneath you for wanting to marry a prince or a king. as if you were better because you weren’t in the position elain and i were in. is it truly surprising that elain and i were so close?" "you and i were pitted against each other from the start, we were horrible to each other even before mother passed. you never once looked to me as your big sister that you needed guidance from.” a heavy sigh escapes her and she takes feyre’s hand into her’s. “my point is, you didn’t need me back then, what’s so different now?”

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i'm once again putting this out here.....nesta's magic is moonfire. this is how it's described when aelin is possessed by deanna. IT'S THE SAME THING.

"turquoise burned bright … around a core of silver." (referring to her eyes) "cold white light. tendrils flickered-silver flame." "the cold of the stars." "the cold of stolen light." "so cold it would burn" "fire like ice, fire stolen from the stars"

YOU GUYS KNOW I'M NOT WRONG

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i'm working on a new blog for nes, i've had this one for so long and everything feels messy. once it's all setup i'll post the new blog here!!

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𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐭. 𝟏

i’ve made emotional ones before but also, angst?? bon appetit!

“ i can’t do this alone… “

“ i can’t do this without you. “

“ nothing is worth losing you. “

“ i can’t lose you! not again! “

“ i don’t wanna lose you! “

“ i love you… “

“ i never should’ve dragged you into this. “

“ you’re not alone, [NAME]… you never were. “

“ if something happened to you… that would be because of me. and i can’t have that. “

“ …did you know about this? “ “ this is all my fault… “

“ i/we/you lost… “

“ you won’t win. “ “ this path you’re on… it’s gonna get you killed. you know that, though; don’t you? “

“ i can’t stop. “

“ you would tell me if something was wrong. wouldn’t you? “

“ it’s like you’re not really here; even when you are. “

“ don’t you get it?! if anything happens to you, i… i don’t know what i’d do! “

“ you have no idea how important you are to me, and i’m tired of waiting for you to figure it out, and i sure as hell won’t wait to announce it over your reckless ass’ grave! “

“ no! i’m not leaving without you! “

“ i can’t do this anymore… “

“ you don’t even know me. “

“ what have you done?! “

“ you’re shaking… “

“ i’ve… made some mistakes. “

“ you are nothing to me. “

“ you were never nothing to me… “

“ stop it. enough of this self-sacrificing bullshit! stop acting like you have nobody who loves you! you have me! so no! you don’t get to be a martyr. not today! we can figure out a different plan… “

“ i would’ve done anything for you… “

“ i’d risk everything and anything for you. “

“ i’m not a good person. “

“ please don’t look at me like that… “

“ i believed in you! “

“ we can’t lose… “

“ what?! what am i supposed to do?! please! tell me, what the hell am i supposed to do?! “

“ please, just go… i’m not the kind of person anyone needs to be around right now. “

“ what happened to you? huh? what happened to you to make you this way? “

“ they’re coming for you. right? that’s why you’re pushing me away like an idiot? because you don’t want me getting hurt? “

“ nothing’s going to be as good as it was before. “

“ you lied to me! “

“ i didn’t mean for any of this to happen! “

“ i can’t trust you anymore… “

“ i know it’s selfish. god knows, ever since we met, i’ve been the reason behind every threat and danger that’s come your way. but… i honestly can’t say that i’d change a second of it. “

“ it’s been an honour knowing you. “

“ there’s nobody else i can turn to. only you. “

“ i don’t trust anybody else. not the way i trust you. “

“ we have no choice… “

“ why?! why are you helping me?! “

“ it’s too late. there’s nothing more we can do… “

“ please don’t go… don’t leave me. “

“ you are everything to me. okay? EVERYTHING. i can’t lose you… “

“ you deserve better than this… better than me… “

“ i thought i could give you a better life. instead, i’m the reason it’s gotten worse… i’m so sorry. “

[silverflamcs]

Valkyrie Week 2023

Day 3: The House

A cozy afternoon at the house with my favorite female warriors ✨

Link to Instagram post here

@officialvalkyrieweek

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“ i don’t know how to let go of my trauma. i don’t know what i am without it. ” (from gwyn? 🥺 )

nesta opened her mouth then closed it. how was she supposed to give advice on something she struggled with as well? for so long nesta had let her own trauma eat at her until it broke her down into a bitter, cruel person who wanted to hurt and push away anyone who got too close. “i don’t think someone ever lets go of their trauma..i don’t think something like that is possible. but i do think the key is learning how to live with, to accept it, but not let it define you.” in the end she realized she was only hurting herself, she was being defeated by the ones who caused her pain and nesta hated losing. she refuses to lose. “we can’t change what has been done to us, but we can decide how we let it affect us.” she placed a hand on gwyn’s, her thumb stroking her hand soothingly. “you are so much more than what you’ve been through. you need to remember that. you are gwyneth berdara; a kickass female who takes no shit and one of the bravest people i know. you’re loving and headstrong, and the greatest best friend to ever exist. that’s who you are.”

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↪     𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑳 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝑬 .    (   a  series  of  sentence  starters  from  the  2022  supermassive  game  “ the devil in me ” .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  spoilers  &  mature  themes  are  present .  ) 

i bet you can see a hundred miles from the top .

you mean you’re not weary of me after an entire day of marriage ?

are we the only ones here ?

that’s no way to run a business .

that’s my [ name ] ,  always finding that silver lining .

my attention was needed elsewhere .

i promise from here on out ,  it will be nothing but silver linings .

today is a very special day for us .

i’m starting to think i’ve gone  &  married a thrill seeker .

are we looking for excitement ?

see what happens when you chase a thrill ?

if you’ll excuse me ,  i have work to return to .

i’m sure we’ll see each other again soon .

this feels like some sort of treacherous plot .

close your eyes ,  &  face the mirror .

aren’t you clever  &  romantic ?

don’t fight it  …  it’ll only hurt more if you do .

you’re only prolonging the inevitable .

what have you done ?!

you’re wasting your last chance to tell him that you love him .

it’s so good to have company .  for a long time ,  i was on my own .

i can barely recall a time when i was not here .

what good are stories without someone to experience them ?

art can elicit all sorts of reactions .

you’re responsible for what happens .  you’re culpable .

i can’t interfere ,  that’s very much against the rules .

it’s tough being honest when it means everyone just thinks you’re a bitch .

i’m sick of being on my own .

it’s a fucking mess ,  to be honest with you .

i think we’ve heard quite enough .

i was born with the devil in me .

i could not help the fact that i was a murderer any more than a poet can help the inspiration to sing .

just being dead ain’t enough to stop me from killing again .

actually ,  it’s what i can do for you .

do you know where we’re going ,  exactly ?

it was 100% your fault .  you fly by the seat of your ass .

was this part of the plan ?  did you know about this ?

i figured we needed all the help we could get .

downtime ?  why would you want to do that ?

i’ve got a lot going on at the moment ,  [ name ] .

you got any family you can go bother ?

‘ married to the job ’ …  how’s that marriage working out ?

we agreed to let that drop for the weekend .

sorry for giving you a hard time .

christ ,  what the hell is that ?

it’s gonna be okay ,  it’s all gonna be okay .

i’ll explain everything later .

are you sure ?  ‘cos you don’t seem sure .

i’m charming ,  &  you can hotwire your way past security .

hey ,  can i ask you something  &  get a straight answer ?

shh ,  get down !

this is ridiculous ,  there’s nothing out here .

i heard you were looking for a new place .

if i wanted to go on nature hikes ,  i wouldn’t have moved to the city .

you can do it .  eyes forward ,  don’t look down .

you always knew how to get me through the shit ,  didn’t you ?

maybe this won’t be a waste of a weekend .

i told you this was a good plan ,  didn’t i ?

you’ve been out  &  about all day ,  &  i have to sit here worrying .  gone all day ,  &  not a word from you !

i don’t think we’re the only ones here .

this is my don’t be scared song ,  sing it  &  i won’t be scared long !

scream if you need me for anything .

something about this place makes me wanna use the buddy system .

you talk in your sleep   …   not sure if i ever told you that .

you’re cute when you’re worked up .

cute ?   …  you think i’m cute ?

i try to pretend like it isn’t a thing ,  you know .

if my cheeks are red ,  it’s from this wine .

sorry .  didn’t mean to make you feel weird .

i’m fucking with you ,  i’ve been wanting to kiss you for months .

sorry ,  did i interrupt something ?

i can’t find my room  &  i need a fucking cigarette .

i’m not stressed ,  okay ?  do i look fucking stressed ?

this place is massive ,  surely there’s a pack of cigarettes here .

stick with me ,  [ name ] ,  i’m going places .

[ name ] ,  there’s something important you have to understand .

no ,  come on ,  you piece of shit  …  don’t do this to me !

i’m supposed to buy  “ nothing ”  is eating up at you ?

i still think your priorities are fucked .

what about taking a huge risk  &  just DO something ?

are you trying to butter me up ?

we don’t need to rehash stuff ,  let’s just work .

you’re only asking me ‘cos your arms are too short for a good selfie angle .

maybe we should just add this topic to our  “ discussion no - fly zone ”  list .

shit ,  that scared the fuck out of me .

at some point ,  you have to give up the ghost .

you’ve been doing your research ,  haven’t you ?

are you taking a survey or trying to learn something ?

would it kill you to be direct ?

you want to know what inspired me ?  as if i wasn’t the original ?

you look amazing ,  as usual .

i heard enough ,  thank you ,  i know what betrayal sounds like .

i’m not blind ,  i know what i saw .

this could work to our advantage .

am i the only one that’s getting really freaked out by this place ?

can you stop trying to make this worse ?

don’t come crying to me if you end up dead .

choices ,   [ name ] ,  make better choices .

this is your own damn fault .

it’s all about the honey trap .

you bring me some smokes ?  like i asked ?

that’s what i remember most .  those screams .

you’ll never really know how it feels to watch the fire burn out of somebody .

thanks for that stuff you said at dinner .  it was nice to hear .

we’re all on the same side ,  sometimes we forget .

get me out of here !  i can’t see a thing !

count your breaths .  one,  two,  three,  in  …

how very rude ,  not to stay for dinner .

i can only observe ,  &  it can be  …  frustrating to watch .

in some ways ,  i envy you .

something is very not right here .

i’ve been waiting on you for ages to actually make a decision about something ,  anything ,   &  now this is when you suddenly choose to take a stand ?

your delusions make for such great plans .

would it kill you to think positively just once ?

it’s not even the worst idea i’ve had this evening .

don’t go patting yourself on the back ,  i still think your priorities are fucked .

i can care about more than one thing at a time .

working this job has made me really understand what a sociopath is .

you always assume the worst .

help me !   please  –  please ,  i’ll do anything !

maybe you’re right ,  but you don’t need to be an asshole about it .

i guess i was holding out for things to change with us .

i have never once shied away from telling you where my priorities were .

i have to live with it every day  &  now someone knows .

someone WANTED me to find this .

you have to get the fuck out ANY way you can .  just get the FUCK OUT !

are you losing your shit ?  ‘cos i don’t need that right now .

maybe we just focus on one thing at a time .

[ name ]  …  i found a way out ,  maybe .

i don’t know what i was expecting .

what the fuck is this ?

[ name ] ,  what are you doing ?  just stay back .

no way this is happening .

it’s gotta be fake  …  a prop ,  or from  …  an animal or something .

it can be difficult working with someone you’ve been involved with .

i think we can bust through this thing .

i’ve had enough of this shit ,  what the hell is going on ?

the walls are moving again .

i’m not a fuckin’ lab rat here for your amusement !

don’t look at me like that .  you know i’m right .  you get it .

you got to do something that matters .

think of the most profound thing you’ve ever done .

i see the gleam in your eye ,  [ name ] .  you can’t fool me .

there  …  there you are .  i see you now .

bare hands can feel good ,  huh ?  but the blade makes for such a prettier picture .

how far down does it go ?

there’s blood everywhere ,  &  …  &  a body .

one of us is going to have to be bait .

you could use that as a weapon if need be .

what an excruciating way to go .

people can surprise you sometimes .

as always ,  i’ll be watching very closely .

hurry the fuck up !

it’s a forest ,  it could be anything .

can you not freak me out even more than i already am ?

i wasn’t expecting you .

you’re a selfish monster  …  always have been .

predictable little shit ,  i know you .

[ name ] !  i thought i lost you .

all good things must come to an end .

can you find your own way out ?

i have no doubt we’ll meet again in the future .

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❛ i’m fine. there’s nothing for you to worry about. ❜ (from elain!)

“i don’t believe you.” nesta’s fixed stare didn’t falter as she tried to get a read on her sister. elain wasn’t like her or feyre when it came to how trauma affected her. in fact, nesta had begun to think she wasn’t affected much until all those months ago when elain made a certain comment. “i went into the cauldron too, you know. and it captured me. and yet somehow all you think of is what my trauma did to you.” back then nesta wasn’t in the right mental state to ask elain to elaborate more about how she was feeling. back then she didn’t even care enough to ask. but she did always wonder how elain was able to easily meld into the inner circle. how she could get up every day and continue to bake and garden without seeming like there was anything wrong. what puzzled her the most was how she was able to still smile and laugh after the war. while the events seemed to shred nesta to pieces, it seemed to bring a new life to elain. however, now that she had put herself back together again she was beginning to see it in a different light. maybe all this time elain was burying all her trauma inside of her and choosing to ignore it. but nesta knows what happens when you bottle stuff up for too long and she didn’t want elain to go through anything similar to what she had.

“fine is usually what people say when something is bothering them, but they don’t want to actually talk about it. and if you don’t want to talk to me about it, that’s okay, but there was a time you would come to me for anything…i know a lot has changed, elain, but i don’t want that to change between us.” // @homebehind

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hi...i'm back. i updated my carrd and i'm cleaning up my blog a bit still, but i'm really excited to write nes again

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i’m considering returning....i miss nesta a lot and i love her so much. but the aco.tar fandom...not so much. so i’ve had to take a step back, which sucks bc i always considered it a comfort series and it was just a fun little world that made me happy. it’s unfortunate that this sort of thing happens when s/t gets popular. idk if things have calmed down, but if i come back i’m going to have to do some serious purging on this blog. and maybe go back to just having a small group of ppl to rp with like when i first made this blog. 

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gosh i missed being here and on my other blogs so much. i feel like i can focus on things again now that i’m not stressed about my best friend’s wedding. i’m just debating on what to do with my blogs. if i should narrow down my following again and just write with a small group of ppl bc i get overwhelmed easily or just jump right back into things and see how it goes lmao. 

i still have memes and replies i want to do so i’m apologizing in advance for being so late and taking so long

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Paris 🇫🇷 ✨jet lag etc #chanelcruise

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Nessian🔥

art: gonzalom.art for fairyanddragonprints [instagram]

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phoebe tonkin in the originals 4.01

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you’re telling me i gotta wait until january for the new cc book 😭