sincerely--starchild

[sincerely--starchild]

(10/10/22)

Holy shit, there are a lot of saved drafts. Wow.

Anyways, grounding fucking sucks. It sucks especially when you have things you must get to.

-D

[sincerely--starchild]

(10/3/22)

I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS. I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT. I'M AT MY FUCKING LIMIT. I'M SO FUCKING MAD AT HER. REALLY? YOU PULL THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW? YOU COME TO ME FOR HELP AND SUPPORT EVERY FUCKING TIME AND THEN DECIDE IT'S OKAY TO ABANDON ME WHEN I TELL YOU MY DAD HAS FUCKING CANCER?????? BITCH????? WHAT THE FUCK LMAO I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING.... I JUST.... I HATE EVERYTHING AND I WAN T TO FUCKING SCREAM

[sincerely--starchild]

(9/27/22)

I'M SO TIRED OF IT! I HATE IT! I HATE EVERYTHING! I'M SO TIRED AND I JUST WANT TO LEAVE! I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED I'M SO TIRED AND I JUST WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM!

[sincerely--starchild]

(9/12/22)

I love slipping once due to declining mental health and suddenly I'm on a class watchlist for my participation efforts. /sar

One assignment. One. Just one.

I feel terribly and barely got through today and this is just... the icing on the cake.

-Star ☆

[sincerely--starchild]

☆

what matters most about your interests is that they make you happy. whether other people find them productive is irrelevant. you don't have to produce anything. you are not a machine. your interests aren't for others. your interests are for you. do what makes you happy.

[sincerely--starchild]

(9/12/22)

It's hard to keep doing this.

-Star ☆

[sincerely--starchild]

(9/9/22)

I really need to finish up some work, but I'm too busy thinking about what my Halloween costume is going to be. Kind of want to do something related to Ice Nine Kills this year. I love that band. I think their take on the genre is interesting, plus, y'know, they're writing songs about horror movies. Obviously, I'm just a tad biased.

If I go with something else, though, I think creating an original monster or killer character would be fun. I've been wanting to make more masks lately, but I either didn't have the inspiration or I didn't have the energy. Maybe I should start planning some character designs.

-Star ☆

[sincerely--starchild]

(9/9/22) About This Blog.

Foreword:

While I don't figure this will be a follower-heavy blog, I still want to leave this here in case some people would like to follow our journey. Please be respectful if that is what you choose to do. This will be a daily-weekly logging blog, and, for lack of a better term, a personal time capsule. Please know, I am an adult, and I will talk about adult issues on this blog. I will include trigger warnings and censors throughout my posts, as well as always using the hashtag "postsbystar".

My Introduction:

Hello! I am a person of many names, but I would prefer if you only knew me as Starchild, Star, or Since. Please use they/them pronouns unless others are stated. I enjoy creating and collecting, both of which I tend to do frequently. I like to cosplay, play video games, and watch horror movies. To avoid any possible confusion later on down the road, I will state this now. I am a part of a DID system, and issues relating to this will probably come up somewhat often in my posts. While I will likely still post about other alters and their happenings, I want this blog to be mostly mine. I don't plan on extensively talking about them.

Backstory of Blog:

As of September 9, 2022, the day I created this blog, I am in a very bad headspace. I have many issues that I am struggling with but few places to unburden myself. I have a small support system, but, at least recently, I haven't felt comfortable sharing many thoughts with them. They've been going through hell, too, and I don't have the heart to talk to them about my issues when they are very clearly struggling, as well. I have tried bottling things up, I have tried drawing vent art, I have tried short-term therapy, I have tried surrounding myself in things that bring me comfort and, yet—nothing has worked lately. Nothing has worked for the past week, the past 3 weeks, the past 6 months, or the past few years. I feel like I'm close to my breaking point. I can't take my own thoughts anymore. I'm tired of feeling isolated and imprisoned by my own negative thoughts and trauma. So, to try to remedy my situation, I came up with the idea to make a place where I could share my thoughts, my feelings, my concerns, my fears, and no one would feel obligated to listen. I could get relief and the feeling that I'm sharing my thoughts with others without directly doing that. I won't be messing up anyone's day by asking to vent. I can just make my post, get things off my chest, and if others want to interact, they have the choice to.

Closing Thoughts:

This blog is, essentially, my internet diary. This is my safe place. This is my escape. This is for me to get things off of my chest without having to feel like I'm burdening my support system. This is my time capsule, our time capsule, in the hopes that my future self and system members can look back on this blog in a few years and be proud that we've made it out alive. No matter how bruised we are, we will win this fight.

That's what I'm making this blog for.

We're drawing our swords and we're keeping ourselves alive.