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Did y’all know queue limit is 1000? They don’t let you put more in than that. Wild

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A picture of a branch beautifully in focus, and the vague outline of a white stork in the background somewhere.

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tonight's plans: jerk off to completion..... two cans of sprite (crush against forehead like a neanderthal school bully) ...... write the great american novel

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I love you vulture

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my "suicidal hermit" lifestyle has been largely detrimental to my emotional wellbeing

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nothing that a haircut and a wardrobe update and a detox and a sex change and a fake ID and getting medicated and selling all my stuff and faking my death and moving country can't fix

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I have to make everything ok really fast

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pardon me while i burst into flames

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drew over something i wrote for a class and liked :] sorry the cars are lowkey ugly, its because I fucking hate cars and cant be bothered to learn what they look like beyond ominous hunks of metal

edit: transcript of the poem by itself under the cut

6 Tips for Crossing the Road

Look both ways

The road is for cars. 

Make sure to look for them before crossing. Even when you have the right of way, cars have a lot of safety features and you have none. 

Use designated crosswalks 

The road is for cars. 

So is the crosswalk but, under brief and temporary conditions, you can use it too! Never jaywalk, never walk in the road, just hope there is a clear and functional sidewalk. 

Cross at the light

The road is for cars. 

There are rules and signs for them, but that can only go so far. Walk quickly and hold your breath and hope that the light doesn't turn. Make eye contact with drivers as their cars teem with potential energy, rumbling with disdain at the inconvenience of your crossing. Try to ignore the cloud of exhaust that you are in and they are above. 

Leash your pets

The road is for cars. 

Obviously. 

To you, it may be natural to sacrifice so much space to them but to your dog, it is not. His instinct is to explore freely. You must curb it. Modern US car models have such high hoods that the average child, let alone dog, is obscured. Even on the sidewalk, hold the leash tight because the sidewalk (if you are so blessed) is next to the street and the threat still looms.

Look out for road kill

The road is for cars. 

And no one was there to leash the deer. 

Or the raccoon. 

Or the cat. 

Did you know that the most reliable sample method for wildlife in an area is looking at the roadkill? 

Remember these tips

The road is for cars. 

Cars are everywhere. In the city. In the suburbs. In the country. In the woods (the US Forest Service manages more roads than the entire Ministry of Transit in China.) Cars are everywhere because there are roads to bring them there, which is great if you are a car and want to get from place to place fast without worrying about the in-between. 

Unfortunately, you are not a car. 

You are an animal. 

You are in-between. 

So remember to look both ways. 

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As much debate as there is about tone tags, 90% of the issues would be solved by just typing the word. Like instead of typing /gen or /hj you can just write (genuine) or (handjob) and you'll be doing pretty much the exact same thing.

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Commission I recently completed! If you’re interested please fill out my commission request form here!!

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how life feels after a salad and 64 oz of water

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Kyle MacLachlan by John Midgley 

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Is your favorite color violet? Then meet your new favorite animal: the Violet-backed Starling (Cinnyricinclus leucogaster)! It lives in open woodland and riverine habitats in parts of Africa and the Arabian Peninsula. It mainly snacks on fruits and seeds, but will also munch on the occasional insect. Males can be seen sparkling in the Sun with their iridescent violet plumage on full display. Females have brown or olive green plumage. 

Photo: Timmcclurg, CC BY-NC 4.0, iNaturalist

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god, your worst warrior needs money

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In tears